Packing, memories, and swaps

Last night we accomplished so much. We went through a lot in my room. I have not lived there since 1997. However, I lived in that room for the 15 years prior and in the house for 20 years. A lot of memories. Letters from an old best friend and photos. I found photos of my Sweetie when I met him and photos that I took while in photography. I found the photos of ex-boyfriends. My Sweetie is so wonderful and did not mind me bringing them home. I found all of my senior year in high school mementos. It really made me think back. I cannot wait until I hear about the reunion. I hope I can make it. There are several people who I cannot wait to see. One sad thing is that I have a photo with myself and a large group of people – in this group are two students who are no longer with us. They both offered the world so much.

I also found the last b-day card that my father gave me. The strange thing is that he dated it “Nov 12 ‘96”. He never dated any of his cards. I took it to my mom to show her and she could not believe he dated it either. It was actually kind of creepy, like maybe he knew on some level.

Going through everything was very emotional. Not in a bad way, but more like a contemplative way. Looking at how my life was when I left that room and before. In many ways, it was like a time capsule. I realized what a different person I am now. When I left I was 20, I still had two parents, and was taking the summer off from school. Things are so different now. Although I miss my father deeply, I love the person that I have become. I am more confident, sure of myself, and overall happier.

Today we woke up early and began cleaning out the final furniture for the swap. Mom, Best Friend, her husband, Sam, and MIL came to help. I am so happy to report that we completed the move. My mom and I planned to swap bedroom furniture for almost 6 years now. Luckily, our JuneBug helped speed up the process. We have her room ready for painting and I have my Grandmother’s bedroom suite. This made me so happy. I feel so accomplished and so much closer with being prepared for our JuneBug.

After everyone went home tired and fed, Brother and SIL came over to chat and play games. We enjoyed the openness of JuneBug’s room and stayed in there for quite a while chatting. My Brother is going to be a great uncle. I am convinced of this. Sitting in the room really made me think about how much I love that she will use that room for a bedroom. I believe in balance in life. There is good and bad. This room has had the bad, now it is time for the good. I honestly believe it will be even better because of it.

Everything feels so good right now. While I am experiencing some pain due to the work I did yesterday at Mom’s, I am feeling so good. My Sweetie is so wonderful. He makes me so unbelievably happy. I cannot say it enough how everyday that I spend with this man confirms to me that he is my soul-mate. Tomorrow I get to go to school and crank out the last of our group project. I hope it goes well. I simply want this class complete.

I am off to play more games with my family before heading to bed.

Once again, perfection

I wrote a blog at home last night. I think it was a good one too. Then what do I do? I go to sleep and do not forward it to work. I was very tired.

I woke up wonderfully yesterday. My Sweetie woke up at the same time I did. My back was to him and he started massaging. I must say this is the best way to start the day. He is so wonderful.

Yesterday marked one month until graduation. The lack of completeness with my group project has me in a slight panic. However, regardless of quality, the deadline is Monday night. I have faith that we can pull it off, I will simply be on the computer at lot this weekend and on campus on Sunday. Speaking of graduation, I need to get with my designer for some ideas for the invites. It is nice to be married to such a talented man.

Speaking of invites, I finally received my invite for my shower (BestFriend was keeping it a secret). YAY. We had dinner with Best Friend, her husband, MotoDiva, and Sam. It was so yummy. The invites are perfect. She knows me so well. I even know the location now and I highly approve.

Today we had our 32 week appointment. Although normally it would be on Monday, I moved it to today in order to get my sonogram the day before graduation – I am quite manipulative, aren’t I? Well, medical opinion said it AGAIN. I am perfect. I did have a bit of strangeness with the weigh in. I lost a pound over the last two weeks. This is even stranger with what I ate for dinner last night. I am back to only a 3-pound gain. My doctor said that my pain is normal and will most likely get worse. At least he is honest. I spoke with him about reduced hours at work and such. He said that if I get to the point where that is what I want, he will write a note. He is awesome.

This weekend is going to be crazy. Tonight is packing my room at my mom’s house to make room for the furniture swap. Tomorrow morning we will finish cleaning out the furniture and preparing the items for the move. Then the fun begins. I will be directing traffic for loading the U-haul while I am on my laptop working on my group project. After we finish unloading, what my mom is sending to our house (new bedroom suite), I plan to enjoy anyone who wishes to stick around with games and conversation. Sunday is another fun day at school with my group. Most likely, the second to last time I go to campus before graduation. Our group project then is due on Monday where I will show much rejoicing. Once this hits the only thing between me and my MBA will be a 3-page paper on what I learned in Capstone – that is easy enough. I cannot believe I am so close. I went from a clerk in accounting who could not get further because I did not have a degree to having two. This is all so exciting.

Another great mood day

Seriously, I think I am finally hitting that feeling great point in pregnancy – not that I have been miserable at all. However, my mood the last few days has been so great.

I feel secure and happy. I feel wonderful. I cannot even describe it really. I went to lunch with co-workers again today. I actually talked more about school than JuneBug. I think this is a first.

She has definitely started to drop some; my boobs are not resting on my belly as much. I am so torn about my appointment on Friday. Part of me wants him to say “half days starting now” and part of me really does want to work until the end. We shall see. I will not mind being home as long as I am feeling as good as I am now.

I did not get off work until almost eight tonight. Now I am resting my back. I simply cannot do those hours right now. I am not letting this bother my mood. My Sweetie made me a gourmet dinner of PB&J. OK, it was my request, but he makes it exactly the way I like.

Sorry for the lack of in depth posts. Things are crazy this week between work, school, and getting ready for the move this weekend.

2 months remain

It is lunchtime. I have a lot to do today with work because the auditors will be here on Thursday. However, I do not feel motivated to work, I want to blog. I want to enter my thoughts into my journal. I want to express my emotions. Perhaps I can write a little all day and still accomplish the much needed property plant and equipment requests from KPMG. See when I phrase it like that doesn’t my job sound exciting?

I cannot get comfortable today. Walking causes pains and when sitting I am antsy. I did have a bit of a freak out moment earlier. Today is April 12. My due date is June 12. That means a mere 2 months away. That time is going to fly, especially with everything that I have planned during the course of the last two months. Now everyone together – group freak out – AAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHH!!

I must say – when you are pregnant, the simplest things can make you so happy. I am drinking a Big Red and I am so happy.

I am happy to report that as of leaving work tonight I am on the last bit for the auditors. WOO HOO.

Tonight we started preparing for the move this weekend. We tackled our dresser. To be honest, our bedroom and bathroom are always the last rooms to clean because no one goes into the rooms – or at least that is the theory. We found movie stubs, photos, concert tickets, marathon bibs, and other items. It was wonderful going through these items and reminiscing.

My Sweetie is finishing some of the picking up while I relax on the bed. I am having a bit of cramping – nothing scary, only Braxton hicks. However, he likes me to take it easy when this happens.

I am very tired tonight. Think it is time to let my head fall gently into my pillow.

I am done!

It is done, complete, and sent. My personal business plan project is in the instructors’ hands now. Godspeed paper, Godspeed.

After finishing the paper, my Sweetie and I enjoyed a relaxing evening in each other’s arms. Next week my group project is due, that will reduce much stress, of course it is going to be quite a ride to get to the end product.

I have had a great day. Feeling as I am on a high all day, nothing could bring me down. I love this kind of mood. I walked around with a grin from ear to ear throughout the office. Even my hip flexor pain did not bother my mood, although the pain enhanced my waddling.

Warning pregnancy hormones ahead:
I am so happy right now. I love my Sweetie. Everyday is better and better. Things are not only wonderful with my Sweetie, they are going so well with the other family members. We are seeing my brother on a weekly basis and I am trying to stay in better contact with my Sweetie’s sister – she has quite a social life and we do not get together as much as I would like. However, I feel greatly protective of all of my family members and friends. Hormones are fun in this respect. I want everyone happy and become disgusted when others try to break this harmony.

So we are looking at less than 9 weeks until JuneBug’s arrival. My Sweetie thinks she will come early simply because of all that we need to do in preparation. Of course, we will be better prepared after the showers. It simply amazes me that we are this far along. Tonight our JuneBug did a grand dance number for my Sweetie. She performed her largest moves to date. My belly rippled with waves. It was amazing.

I hope tomorrow is as wonderful on the emotional front as today.

Play Time

Today has been very busy. I went back to school today for my group meeting. The meeting went well. I am not the slacker in the group. We are all slackers. OK that sounds bad. After meeting for two hours, we left the library with a plan of attack for our final product. I came home to my Sweetie, Mother, and MIL. They helped my Sweetie move some furniture to open our living room. This kind of thing helps my Sweetie. He is going through nesting big time.

After dinner, we ran to Target to get a flashlight as well as a couple of other items. I told you he is nesting – “we do not have a big enough flashlight, must get one today”. While passing the toy isle, or rather entering, I saw some big bouncy balls. We get one out and decide the only decent thing to do as soon-to-be parents was to test the equipment. The next isle was empty and so began the ball play. We then noticed different textures for the balls – well that means we have to test the other option. That meant another test run. It was so much fun. We did experience a small girl, I would say maybe two and a half or so, come running past us without a parent close by only to hide in the clothes. The mother, who was also pregnant, obviously had played this game before and came looking for her. Terry gave away her hiding place by saying “I have no idea where she went” while randomly waving into the direction of the clothing rack with a huge grin (he wants me to add that he did not rat out the little girl). It was so cute. All we could see was two little white sandals and blue jean shorts under the clothing. I cannot wait. This prompted my Sweetie to want to look at picture frames.

Once we got home, I started back on my project. I can happily say that I am halfway complete with the final proofing. It is due tomorrow night at 11 and I know that I will get everything complete in time – and do a lil missy dance to celebrate. My Sweetie continued his nesting, which I LOVE and moved some items around on a shelf. He put my moo-cow photo in a frame to display along with the picture of the candle display from our first Christmas as a married couple. He is so wonderful, no wonder I call him Sweetie.

I will be so happy when the semester is over, so very happy. However, my Mom did point out my lack of complete breakdowns over school this semester and last, basically since becoming pregnant. This is true. I have been much less stressed during the last almost seven months. Let us hope this continues over the last three weeks of class.

It is time to drift off to sleep. What a wonderful and productive weekend. I feel much accomplishment as I cuddle into my husband’s arms.

You having baby, yes?

I am sitting on my bed listening to Tori Amos and trying so hard to work on this research for my meeting tomorrow. I am distracted. I feel that maybe, just maybe, if I write my thoughts in my blog that I might be better equipped to find financing for non-profit cooperative housing.

Ever since I was very small, my family has eaten at a particular Chinese restaurant. When my Sweetie and I got together, it became our restaurant. This is good food and even more impressive, they have been in business for over 20 years without changing management. The owner has watched me grow up. Many times over the past few years she has asked us “any babies yet?” We always smiled and said “no” without going into details about my schooling. She has even asked my mom about it, “when are they going to give you grandbabies”. Since becoming pregnant, we have eaten there often, even more since I started showing – in hopes to be able to say, “yes” to that all-important question. However, she has not been at the restaurant the times we chose to dine there. Last night we stopped in for a very impromptu date. She was there. She was not sure but we could see her looking at my belly. At the end of the meal, my Sweetie got up to go to the restroom. While away she came up to set the next table and said very casually “you going to have a baby?” I replied with a proud “yes”. She could not believe that I am due in June. My Sweetie walked up just as I was saying the due date. Come to find out her b-day is only 4 days after our due date, so who knows - I am thinking free egg rolls for life if we get the same date. Throughout the whole time, she kept saying how great I look. She said I did not look tired or anything and was impressed that I am still working. I was not even wearing any makeup so it was just what I needed to hear. It is official; we know that this will be the first public outing that we will take our JuneBug to after her arrival.

Today we were very productive. We bought three new tires for my Sweetie’s car and one for mine – of course my flat was not fixable. After we headed to campus. My Sweetie worked on ideas for a mural in JuneBug’s room while I worked on my project due on Monday. After I did all that I could for that sitting, we decided to walk around my campus. I love my school. I will miss it so much. My Sweetie took pictures of me in front of the red door of Main Building. It was such a nice day and such a great chance to enjoy the quietness that a Saturday afternoon holds.

Walking around campus made me think of the memories that I have over the last five and a half years. I appreciate my degrees more because of how I had to earn them. I did not have someone to pay for schooling. I am not complaining. I think I appreciated it more knowing that it was my money and knowing how much debt we compiled during the process. I also did not have the luxury of attending school without working. This is one reason why I ended up at my school. The program that I earned my BBA through is geared for working adults. This means all classes on nights and weekends. While it was hard, when I graduated I had a great resume due to the years of experience along with my degree. I will miss my school greatly. My Sweetie loves my school as much as I do, and he attended a different university.

After our exploration of my school, it was time to head home and complete more research.

Pissy, Tax Return, and Family Doctor

Today started out wonderful ;-) But quickly changed once getting out of bed and realizing that I still do not feel great. Then I found that I have a flat tire so Sweetie came back to the house to take me to work – he only got to the end of the street before realizing that I was not behind him. When I get to work, the hormones kick in and I am in a pissy mood. Not at anyone in particular, or anything, just in general. I have a co-worker who is my buddy, in spite of her being 21 and calling me old LOL. I warned her about my mood and she did not flinch and focused on making me laugh. She even took me to lunch to make sure that I got out of the office. That combined with logging into our bank account and finding that our tax return deposited today – YAY. This means we can buy anything in our registry that others do not. I also received more good news today. Our family doctor accepts infants, some do not, so JuneBug will have the same doctor as me. This is a huge relief.

So, the pissiness has lessened. Hormones are such fun. This weekend is more schoolwork and cleaning for the upcoming move. Also, have to rent a small u-haul. This is getting exciting. So much to do. Best Friend imed me today with “YOU ARE GRDAUTING NEXT MONTH”. That made me smile. I reevaluated my timeline for everything for our JuneBug. We are not off track, but I need to feel better this weekend to get everything done. I am being good, drinking my water, and taking my vitamins – so that has to count for something.

We started planning our weekend away last night. Thanks to the tax return, we may go all out. We found a wonderful hotel on the RiverWalk. Our last outing before our baby, I cannot wait. Of course, I hate spending a lot of money on a hotel. My Sweetie said it is my decision. We shall see. The sheer ability to do a nice weekend is wonderful. It will also depend on my ligament, sciatica, and hip flexor pain. Wow I sound old there, don’t I?

Even with all my sleep yesterday, I am very tired today. I cannot wait for Sweetie to pick me up. Tonight will be research, research, and more research. I cannot wait until this class is over. I am so glad that I am only taking one class this semester. I like having the ability to focus on baby as well. With the end of my undergraduate, I took 15 hours while working full time. I was so exhausted when graduation hit that I do not know if I enjoyed it fully, although that might also have to do with starting the MBA program only a couple weeks after graduation.

I love where my Sweetie and I are right now. In looking around our family and friends, I am happy to have such strong and wonderful people supporting me. I think about this a lot recently due to my upcoming shower. Not to mention, that the Diva’s have been so wonderful, even with the issues in their own lives. I am so lucky to have this group as my closest friends. Every time I am with these women, I learn something new, feel stronger and more secure about myself, and feel as if I am worthy of their friendship.

I could keep rambling, but it is almost time for my Sweetie to arrive to pick me up. In case I do not blog again until Monday, I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Sick at home

I am at home today recovering for the niceness that my co-worker shared with me. I am not so sick that anyone should worry, I simply got a fever last night and want to make sure that it does not come back. So, I got to relax today. After breakfast and sending Sweetie off to work I went back to bed. Apparently, I needed it as I slept for three and a half hours. I woke up a couple of minutes before my Sweetie called to make sure that I woke up to eat lunch. I even got some research done. Once again, I have to say that I love my laptop. It is the best when I need to stay in bed. I took another nap and now I am here happy to report that I am feeling much better. June Bug has been very active today and that makes me happy. As long as she stays out of my ribs, I welcome the kicks and punches.

Other than that, I am feeling great today. I feel confident, sexy, happy, able, and silly. There might be something to this saying in bed thing, I have not had any of my normal pains today. I will make sure to bring this up with the doctor next Friday. I know that I will complete a good amount of research tonight. I started and once I start, there is no stopping me and I will have great results for my team. Plus, I always do my best work during the last moments before a deadline. Overall, today has not been bad.

What is on my brain today? That is a good question. I think about how my life will change in June. I also think about how much everything has changed over the past six and a half months. I am excited about these changes. I still cannot believe we are having a baby. I am so very grateful that she is so healthy. I know that my Sweetie will be a wonderful father. I know that we will be a wonderful team. The next couple of weeks are going to be crazy. Between finishing two large projects for school and two showers, things are pretty non-stop.

Tonight is another relaxing evening while I work on schoolwork. Sweetie is busy in the kitchen making pork tenderloin with blackberry sauce. It sounds wonderful. It is so nice to be a princess – heehee.

Crazy Life

After posting last night, I received an e-mail from a teammate. He reminds the group that the final group project is due on the 13th. I look up the assignment file and see it is the 18th. However, that is still so soon. I log into blackboard and see that my teammate was not altogether incorrect. I see conflicting deadlines, not good for a project this big – 5 days is a big deal. I have to make sure to get everything done this week. I am starting to stress badly. This weekend I also wanted to get everything done for the move on the 16th. I know it will all come together. However, it causes my stomach to go into knots. It would not be so bad but a real company is waiting for our results so we cannot slack. I will focus myself into the paperwork tonight through Friday.

Before I got pregnant, I did not believe in pregnant brain. Well, it is here and strong. I read that it happens because we become so distracted with what is happening within that silly things, like forgetting where your keys are or failing to finish reading an e-mail before replying, come into play. (My MIL sent an e-mail telling everyone her new work e-mail and phone number, I replied before reading the entire e-mail asking for the phone number.) I have noticed this and now believe. It is the sheer distraction and lack of concentration that truly gets me with this pregnant brain. I have not focused on school. I cannot get myself to do the in-depth research that I normally would not have a problem. Moreover, with the project that we are working on, I would normally enjoy it a lot.

I believe the remainder of April will be very stressful. As always, I will simply keep my nose to the grindstone and focus on the end results – GRADUATION. I am so close!!!! I must think of how I want to celebrate my most likely last graduation. I want friends and family there, of course. However, do I want a BBQ at the house, which sounds great? Actually, that sounds really great. Having everyone back at the house after graduation until who knows when. I want a big small celebration. Hope that makes sense. Now I must start the planning since it is so close.

I just cannot get over how everything is happening right now, back to back. I love it, but need to make sure that I take a moment to enjoy the process. I am graduating and having a baby – both are so wonderful. My focus is on Serif more than graduating. I also cannot believe how in love we are with this little girl. We have not even held her and she is our world. I am so ready for her, just need to get her room ready.

Sweetie and I rode into work together again. I love the extra few minutes this allows. I love my husband. I love our life and I refuse to let anyone break us. Can you tell I am hormonal today? Yes, it is so much fun.

And a moment of silence for Black Kitty – we do not know which one you were, but you will be missed. I hope you find peace under the tree.

Happiness

Tonight, I blog from home. Today was long and busy. My Sweetie requested that we ride together today. I felt bad when I had to work late to make sure that all day three close items completed as needed. However, it was worth the wait to see his smile when I picked him up instead of having to wait until getting home.

My throat is feeling a bit better. However, I am not letting work know. We are supposed to have a work weekend this weekend. Not only will all my items be complete, but I have to finish a 32 page paper, prepare for the moving of furniture the next weekend, meet with my school group, and spend some quality time with my Sweetie.

Tonight the weather is nice. We have the windows open and the cats enjoy the breeze. A thunderstorm approaches. I see the radar on the screen and can hear the thunder in the distance. My Sweetie prepares our dinner as the first warning weatherman warns of large hail approaching. Serif is hanging out behind my ribs. While this is uncomfortable, my sciatica is feeling better today.

I feel at great peace today. Best Friend is teasing me about my shower. I am not to know anything. I will not even find out the location until a couple of days before the engagement. I love it. She is so wonderful. I only hope that I can do the same for her when the time comes.

School is very stressful right now. I have my personal project to finish this weekend. The one good thing about this is after Monday I will be that much closer to graduation. My group project is advancing slowly. However, I am confident that we will complete our assignment on time. Graduation is fast approaching, only five and a half weeks away. This is crazy. I am so close to the end. I can taste it. Now I need a cute outfit for the occasion.

Mmmmmmm I smell dinner. It is time to enjoy Chinese chicken salad.

Time for renewal

I lie in bed. The alarm’s function is useless as I watch the darkness through the window. The day begins to emerge. My Sweetie and I have a magical moment where we both wake up without an alarm or other distraction. In each other’s arms we watch the sun finish rising without a spoken word. I leave the holds of the bed and begin my shower. My Sweetie joins me and I stand in the shower in his arms as the hot water falls onto our bodies.

Life is interesting. I was raised that people are good. This is not true. People are people. Some are evil, some are whores, and a few fall into the true friend category. My Grandfather taught me to never let them see your weakness. This is true. Bad people only use your weaknesses against you. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to decipher the good from the bad.

One of my biggest pet peeves involves people judging others. I hate it when someone who does not live your life feels that they have a right to an opinion on the choices you make. No one, except you, can know the full extent of the reasons behind life decisions. People that judge truly bother me. One of the biggest decisions for my Sweetie and me recently involves daycare. This was a hard decision. However, with a mortgage, car payment, credit cards, and huge student loans we cannot survive on one salary. I wish we could. However, like many many other expectant mothers, we ventured out to choose a quality school for our child. I am grateful that I do not have to enroll her at only six weeks old.

As with my nesting inside the house, the same goes for outside. The focus is getting rid of the junk. This involves any relationship that does not promote growth. This is sad as one of the relationships that we ended involves a person that my Sweetie met in Junior High. However, we have to eliminate the trash in our life. Unfortunately, that means some stay and some go. I will not put up with people calling me a bad mother for putting my daughter in school when I cannot stay at home. This is a hard decision. Moreover, this is a personal decision. It is one that I made with my Sweetie.

This morning we had our 30 week appointment (yep every two weeks now). Everything looks good except for my throat. Apparently, the co-worker who got me sick last time was nice enough to share yet again. Nothing to worry about unless I still have a sore throat on Thursday. My weight is still looking great. I am at the 1 pound a week point. I am four pounds higher than my pre-pregnancy weight, and an average baby at this stage weighs 3 pounds.

It is time for me to pick up my Sweetie from work.

Relaxing in Overalls

Last night my Brother and SIL came over for some gaming fun. We had a blast. I even stayed up until 2 in the morning. They brought a duck and toy fish for our little girl's room.

I forgot to mention an important aspect of Thursday evening. While it was not my b-day, Best Friend was nice enough to bring me a present. She gave me five 1”x1” square magnets brightly colored and featuring the letters to make up the name of our daughter, Serif. I love them. Today she gave me two paper butterflies for the room. And MIL stopped by today and dropped off socks that rattle along with a print for the room. This little girl is so spoiled.

This morning was about cleaning. My Sweetie is in the nesting phase as much as I am. I have to admit that I did have a hormonal breakdown of sorts. However, he was wonderful and held me while I freaked out about how much we need to do in 10 weeks. We then headed out with Best Friend, her husband, and Sam (best friend’s oldest friend) to watch Sin City. I have not read the comics. However, I enjoyed the movie. The movie looks fantastic.

I am currently on my computer while at Best Friend’s house. The rest of the group is playing their game. My Sweetie loves to play video games. I do not think he could ever give it up. That is one of the reasons we work so well together. I understand his need to play the games. He bought his first PlayStation in May 1997, right after his father died. I bought him the PlayStation 2 in 2002 in celebration of winning his Addy’s. He played with the single player type games until 2002 when he started his first massively multiplayer on-line game, Lineage. From this moment on, he was hooked. He introduced his current game, FFXI, to our closest of friends over a year ago and they like to have LAN parties and such. I do not play due to school. However, I like to support him with his hobby and I love hanging out with our friends. Some girlfriends or wives do not like for their husband's to play video games. I am not this way and understand that this is a trait of my husband that will never change. Since I love everything about my Sweetie, this means video games and all :-)

One Year

First, I want to say a big Congratulations to my Sweetie. Today marks 1 year with his current job. This is huge because from July 2001 to March 31, 2004 - he only worked in his field for 6 months.

Yesterday I left work early for grad fest. It was wonderful. The best part was when my advisor from undergrad saw my name and said she remembered me. I have not bothered her in 2.5 years. In addition, this same woman called me when I inquired about SEU and the reason I made the final decision to attend my school. I got my cap and gown, information for a pendent (since I already have a ring), and a small present for myself and Serif. I felt very proud to be there and very accomplished. My belly was a big discussion point and I loved it. I went and picked my Sweetie up wearing the mortarboard. He laughed. I also had the tassel hanging from my rear view mirror to show it off. I am set for graduation – except for finishing that last class – pesky little details.

Last night was wonderful. MotoDiva’s house is beautiful. She now lives in central Austin and has an old house. This is the kind of house my dad would love. My Sweetie and I talked at great lengths about our next house being similar. Best Friend and her husband, DarkDiva and her family, and one other friend made the party complete. DarkDiva and her husband could not believe how much my belly has grown since last weekend. Guess that explains all the “when are you due?” questions this week. Also explains why my boss wants to get a temp in here pretty quick to learn my job.

This morning, while we were getting ready for work, my Sweetie asked if we could have lunch. This makes me very happy. Where else would we go to celebrate 1 year of working without an apron? Texas Land and Cattle, of course. While we did not dine at the location that he worked at for close to a year, we did enjoy the food and celebrating. And, of course, there was much kissing at the end.

Today marks another important day. As of today I can no longer fly. This means that if my Sweetie has to go on a business trip, I do not get to tag along. This also means that I do not have to worry about going to CA for training – YAY. Starting May 1st I can no longer leave Austin. I think I will take my Sweetie away for a romantic weekend the last weekend in April – one last adult weekend for a while.

Today is a great day!

Grad Fest and Deadlines

While my schedule has been crazy for some time, today really marks the point where everything gets crazier. Here is the breakdown of my life for the next few months:

Today
~ GradFest – I get to pick up my cap and gown, look at announcements, and have fun with the approaching end of my schooling career (until PhD that is)
~ MotoDiva’s B-day (35 and 36 months) and dinner at her new house

April ~ 21 – shower at work, 23 – big shower
May ~ 2 – school ends, 8 – Mother’s Day, 12 – graduation rehearsal, 14 – GRADUATION
June ~ Serif’s arrival, 19 - Father’s Day
July ~ 4th of July, 9 – Mom’s b-day, 14 – pick up diploma, 21 - MIL’s b-day
Aug ~ 4 - Sweetie’s 30th B-day
Sept ~ Back to work, Serif begins daycare

I cannot believe Grad Fest is already here. I am so happy. There are so many wonderful and big things happening now. This graduation is so much different from my BBA graduation. With my BBA, I was the first in the family to graduate and we made a big production about it – I have photos to prove how much we celebrated. This time I cannot drink as I did last time (although I am having one glass of wine). More importantly, Serif has taken most of the excitement for herself. However, know that I am so excited and proud of myself. I am so close to having my MBA. I have attended SEU since 1999 while working full time and without any breaks. I continued through hard times and kept my focus on the goal. It helped that my Sweetie encouraged me the entire way. Even when we both found ourselves laid off, he insisted that stayed in school. He has always been my biggest fan. Honestly, with this celebration I am happy with a quiet gathering with my Sweetie, friends, and family.

Things are not only busy at home, but with work as well. I just got out of a finance wide meeting. We are beginning our Q1 close and will have our audit begin on the 14th. This requires a lot of work – this is a shorter close than normal. Therefore, they are asking for 10-hour days through the 12th with work weekends on the ninth and 16th. I simply cannot do 10-hour days. I love being pregnant and I really do not like to complain, but my sciatic nerve is starting to hurt worse. I am wondering when I will be put on semi bed rest, where I need to be at home but not bound to bed. I hope that I can work at least full time through April. Then perhaps I can go to half days or even full days off. I am pretty sure that the minute I call Uncle that my doctor will write me a note. Do not get me wrong. I really like my job. I even like these crunch times. I will make it work. I just need to get set up from home.

We are adults

I posted before about being an adult. Most days I do not consider myself an adult. Yes, I own my home; have a degree (almost two), married for 7 years, and have a career. However, this does not make me feel like an adult, as least not what I thought being an adult would feel like. However, yesterday I felt like an adult.

My Sweetie and I took off from work to find a daycare for our June Bug. No, that is not correct; we set out to find a school for her. We only had one appointment for the day and all others we planned to do drop-ins. We went to seven schools. Remarkably, four were of the same chain. All were within about 5 miles from our house. The rate for infant care is higher than for toddlers. We found the prices ranging from $695-$905 a month. This was not a shocker as I have heard of some infant care being over a grand a month.

After seeing the first school, the one with the appointment, and another school that we always loved the look of the outside, we decided to regroup at Starbucks. The schools could not have been more different. My Sweetie and I were on the exact same page with our opinions. This was a wonderful feeling. We then headed to four more schools (three under the same name as our first appointment). We liked all of them. However, we had to be very meticulous and decided that two of these four made the final cut. By this time, it was after one o’clock and I was getting hungry. Lunch was in order. My Sweetie and I ate a nice lunch while discussing our options. We loved that we kept going back to this one chain. My Sweetie looked up at me with teary eyes and said, “I want her here now”. It was so sweet. He loves this little girl so much. Only one more stop until our journey found completion. This was the only real threat to the chain that we were looking into. Of course, this was the $905 school. However, it did not have the same feel as the first school. We headed home, filled out the paper work, drove back to the first school, and paid our $50 for our name to be added to the waiting list for three Stepping Stone Schools.

The biggest disappointment was the number of schools without an infant curriculum. The school we chose has lesson plans for the infants with sign language included. This was a big requirement for our JuneBug. Another neat thing was that we did not sign her up as “Baby Tolleson”, we used her name. My Sweetie turned to me and said “She better be a girl now”.

Yesterday proved that we really are adults. However, most importantly it showed, once again, what a great partnership my Sweetie and I have. I know of many couples that would argue or become edgy with the emotional day that choosing a daycare can bring. However, that wasn't the case with us at all. We did not argue, disagree, or even snap at each other. We held hands, smiled, talked, asked questions, listened, and had a wonderful day. The best part is that we feel confident where our precious child will be during the work day.

Purple Balloon in the Sky

While working intently with the sun on my back (through my window) the afternoon was very quiet. Suddenly a splash of color catches my eye. I look up towards the top of my cubicle and see a purple balloon gently bouncing over to me. It comes directly into my cube and I catch it in my hands. I instantly start smiling and playing with it. A few seconds later one of my good friends comes around the corner letting me know that she shot the balloon over to me. It totally made my day.

They say Confucius does his crossword with a pen

Today is busy. Yet I feel a draw to blog. My Sweetie’s grandfather has been going downhill for a while, yet I thought he was doing well. While he did repeat himself over the weekend, he seemed to be doing fine. Last night just as MIL was leaving for the second time that day (she took Grandpa home and then returned for more conversation), I received a call on my cell. I did not make it in time and saw the number was from her house (Grandpa lives with her). This was odd because he normally calls the house first. Not to mention that he has never called my cell. While I waited to see if a voicemail was left, my Sweetie’s cell phone rang. He asked to speak to MIL. He was suffering from a sort of dementia. He was asking about MIL’s mom. She passed away over 6 years ago. We could hear the conversation because my Sweetie accidentally hit the loudspeaker option. He kept saying that he could not find MIL’s mom, he just wanted to know where she was, and that she was not home. After some big hugs, she headed home to him. When she got home, he asked her again and she had to explain that his wife has been gone for over 6 years. He was not upset, but confused why he was looking for her. He said he thought she was working late and was worried because she would normally call. MIL is scared and frustrated. He stays home alone during the day and has a vehicle. My Sweetie and I are worried that he will drive to the cemetery and experience another episode like this but try to go back to where they lived at the time that the episode dictates. MIL does not know what to do. I cannot blame her. All we can do is show her that we are there for her.

I did not intend for this post to be a downer. My Sweetie and I spoke at great lengths about this last night. It is very hard to watch someone you love deteriorate. The deaths in my family have been sudden and even the ones with older people have had their mental state in check. There was only one time with my Nanny that she did not recognize us, and that was at the end.

They say doing crossword puzzles and that kind of thing helps the brain. Luckily, while we give her a hard time about her age, my mom does many crossword puzzles and both mom and MIL find enjoyment in puzzle games. We all must remember that the brain is a muscle that needs exercise.

Easter Weekend

First, I have to post that we FINALLY purchased the crib. BabiesRus on-line just added the crib we wanted (and discovered two sites that were sold out). We ordered it and feel very accomplished. However, the arrival date says June 2-6. Let us hope they are being a little cautious with this estimate. While our June Bug will not need the crib at first, I would like to know that it is ready for her when she comes home for the first time.

Friday night we colored Easter Eggs (Brother, Mom, MIL, SIL (husband’s sister), niece, Grandpa-in-law, my Sweetie, and I) with the excitement of a severe thunderstorm with hail and all. For Easter, but given on Friday, my Sweetie gave me a potted plant. The plant is purple calla lilies. They are so beautiful. He bought them because they remind him of us – the calla for him and the purple for me. They are so beautiful and unique. I hope to post a photo as soon as the film develops – I know, we are so behind the times.

Saturday my mom and I went to Lago Vista to watch Dark Diva’s girls while my Sweetie went with the group to Marble Falls to prepare her mother’s house for sale. My mom and I had a great time with the girls. Another big storm hit during naptime, this time no hail, and all four of us slept soundly.

My Sweetie, DarkDiva, and her husband arrived back at the house a little after eight. We enjoyed dinner while watching the girls flock to my Sweetie for hugs and kisses. He loves these girls and he is amazing with them. So much so, that after dinner he volunteered to put the oldest to bed – story time and all.

After putting the girls to bed, DarkDiva surprised us with a gift, an awesome mobile. It has wonderful colors along with classical music that plays continually (rather than winding down). We love it. Since my Sweetie had a hard day of manual labor, combined with gaming until 5:30 that morning, he fell asleep on the couch shortly after receiving the gift. This was not a problem since it was time to paint my tummy.

We ventured into the bedroom for DarkDiva to apply henna to my stomach. She researched at great lengths with what would be safe in my current condition. She is a wonderful artist. I simply told her that I wanted a butterfly. After over three hours, the results proved a butterfly covering my entire stomach – pictures to follow once I receive them from DarkDiva, or I develop my film.

For those of you who do not know – natural henna is applied as a thick gooey black substance. It dries and provides the best results if you leave the black textured portion on your body overnight – or 12 hours. (There are methods that use chemicals to provide the results sooner but are not safe for even women who are not pregnant - at least that is what I found through my research). After drying, it begins to flake off the body and the remainder washes away with a simple shower. The natural henna stains a reddish brown color – what the black substance leaves behind. Since henna uses the body’s heat to provide color, the color is light orange at first (the color of mine today) and it will darken to a richer shade over two days. This means mine should be wonderfully looking for tomorrow, my little secret. I am hoping to have this treatment at least one, if not more, times before my June Bugs Arrival.

Today we had the Easter celebration at our house. We did not make sunrise service as we were out until 2 in the morning, my mom included. However, the day was very nice. Good food, good conversation, and relaxing environment. I did not dress up – the weather was colder than expected, so I wore sweat pants and one of my Team in Training t-shirts. I was very comfortable.

Overall, this Easter weekend was very nice. I cannot wait for next year. Our June Bug will have fun with the Easter eggs.

Good Friday

Today is a slow day at work. My boss and his boss are not here. This makes for a lazy day. I just got back from lunch; late and long – the way it should be. I went with two of my favorite co-workers and my Sweetie. This is the first time for him to meet these women. I love that I have a husband who I can introduce to anyone. He was perfect; and kissed and held my hand as normal. When I got back to work, they told me that it is obvious that we are in love and that he is cute. I could not argue with either statement.

The best part was when we met my Sweetie at the restaurant. We approached him and I introduced everyone. Before he said hello to my coworkers he came over to me and kissed me. Then he turned and greeted my co-workers. It was so sweet.

EDITED: After posting this originally, I started to leave for the day. I was stuck with one of the co-workers from lunch with normal chitchat. She began talking a bout my two favorite subjects (Terry and our June Bug), so I could not help but linger. She was telling another co-worker about my Sweetie and me. She said that the neatest part of seeing us was that we have been together for so many years (almost 13) yet you would not know it to look at us. She said we look like a couple in a new relationship with all the sweetness and adorable jesters. I loved it. Sorry, we cannot give out our secret to happiness. It is ours to enjoy.

And the Nesting Begins

Emotions are overflowing today. Weepiness is evident today (normal pregnancy stuff). Not depression, just weepiness. You cannot understand until you are pregnant. The worst thing is that it is not simply getting watery eyes; it is full out tears for the stupidest of things. This applies to happy, sad, and afraid tears. However, my sweetie calling me unexpectedly a minute ago made me smile. I love hearing his voice during the day.

I like journaling like this. I write for me and it makes me happy.

My little girl is dancing again today. My belly ripples like water from her movements. I have never seen her, held her, or kissed her. However, I love her so much. My Sweetie does too. When I ask how much, he gets teary eyed and begins to kiss my belly explaining that his love for both her and me is without boundaries. He is going to be such a wonderful father, in fact he already is.

We joke about how I am a princess. However, during the last 6 months I really have been a princess. He takes the best care of me. He makes sure that I eat when I need to (vastly important when pregnant – if my stomach gets empty for too long I get sick), he runs bubble baths to help my back, he rubs my feet with wonderful coconut foot lotion, and he kisses my stretch marks and says with pride that they are there because of his baby.

The weepiness is because of hormone fluctuations and not due to unhappiness. I am so happy right now.

Tomorrow is Good Friday. I should not have to work – it is a holiday. However, I do not want to use a flex holiday. Tomorrow night the family is coming over to decorate Easter eggs. This should be fun. Saturday is helping with DarkDiva’s girls and Sunday is Easter. Busy Busy Busy weekend. Still have to decide if we will attend the Sunrise Service. It was so nice last year.

Then the next few weekends will focus on getting the items ready to move to my mom’s house. That is the next biggest hurdle. Once we complete the move, we can focus on the nursery and the remainder of the house at the same time. My goal is still to have everything ready by graduation. Because not only will people be in my house celebrating my MBA, but also anytime after that point the doctors will not stop labor once it begins.
I sent an e-mail to family and friends about moving the furniture. Hope it goes over well. I HATE asking for help. I come from a long line of family that hates asking for help.

I looked into my maternity leave. I get 12 weeks – 6 weeks paid 100%. I asked what I can do to extend that time and they told me “You can talk to your manager about an unpaid personal leave. There is no job protection with this type of leave.” I hate this. I wish I could have just a few more weeks with her before sending her off to someone else. I love my company and their benefits. I cannot risk my job not being here when I come back. I wish we lived in Canada, one year of maternity leave sounds heavenly. I know some mothers go back to work after 6 weeks. I am trying to get set to work from home. That might be an alternative in the beginning. I am also talking to my other working mom friends. That should help.

I AM PERFECT!!!!

No, this is not an opinion. My doctor declared me perfect today. I am sure my Sweetie is going to call him and tell him that these comments go straight to my head.

Today was our 28 week appointment. Pee test looked good. Weight looks good, although, I have officially gained from my pre-pregnancy weight. However, I am not complaining about 2 pounds in 28 weeks (really 26 weeks from conception). Blood pressure looks great, so no worries about my swelling.

Today they also measured my uterus. This is done with a tape measure over my belly. I am measuring right on target. YAY. After the measuring, we listened to her heartbeat. It sounds wonderful. She ranged from the 140s-150s. Then came the fun part of the appointment; the Rhogam shot. This is the Rh Factor shot due to my blood type being negative and Terry’s being positive. This shot went into my hip. It did not hurt too badly, but now I feel it. I feel achy and cannot get comfortable. It is worth it though.

We spoke with the Nurse and my Doctor (we like him so much) about my swelling, pains, and heartburn (woke up last night due to bad heartburn). And Terry asked about my coughing. All are normal and nothing to cause worry. After looking over my paperwork, the doctor declared me perfect. I told him that I would tell everyone today about his diagnosis.

I go back in 2 weeks. Is this not crazy? Not long before I go back weekly. I cannot believe how far along I am.

I feel great today. Another beautiful day to enjoy through my window. This appointment made me feel so good. I was worried about blood pressure and my aches and pains. Knowing that everything is normal is a huge relief. I do need to get a new belly belt; mine just does not fit properly due to my petite back.

Suddenly I feel less stressed about getting everything complete. While we still have so much to do, I am confident that everything will come together. It always does for us. With Easter this weekend, and always more work for school needed, I know our time will be limited. However, we proved how much we could accomplish even when the weekend is busy.

Tonight I have schoolwork and my brother is coming over for a short visit. I think, overall, it will be another laid-back evening. I might dye my hair tonight, nothing crazy, just a shade – if even that – different from my own. Since being pregnant, I have not cut my hair. It is getting pretty long and touching my shoulders. Normally within a 6 month period I feel a need to change my hair, color or length or something. I feel that need for change. This is the same change that prompted my tattoo in 1995 and many piercings (that I no longer have). What can I say, I am not as vanilla as some people think *grin*.

Now I am off to pick my Sweetie up from work. I love it when we carpool. I love spending any extra time with him that I can.

Twists, Turns, and Emotions

What should I blog about today? It is beautiful outside. My mood is good and I am not experiencing any overly active pregnancy hormones. I am doing well, except for being tired. I am in the mood for a profound post. However, I am not yet certain where this post will end.
Last night I completed the assignment due. I had to review another classmate’s business plan. It was easier than I expected and took less time – even better.

I looked over our registry today. Surprisingly, we already have items purchased on it. These must be co-workers as the announcement for my work shower went out last week and the invitations for my “real” shower have not gone out yet. That is going to be a busy week. During the week that marks one year since I walked out on the evil SKIDS, I will have two showers. Now I must make sure that I look cute for all the pictures.

A song that has caught my attention recently is titled “Breathe”. The part that I love goes a little something like this. “Life is like an hour glass glued to the table, no one can find the rewind button girl, so cradle your head in your hands, and breathe”. I like this song because it is about making mistakes and not being able to go back in time to fix them, you have to simply accept the consequences and breathe.

We all have things that we can beat ourselves up for, but it is a waste of time. Sometimes something broken heals stronger than before.

I do not know if everyone knows this story, but my Sweetie fractured his collarbone when he was younger. This happened when he was at camp. Due to the counselors fearing a lawsuit of sorts, they did not send him to seek medical attention. Instead, he suffered with a fractured collarbone for the remainder of camp, for like 2 weeks. When he came home, his family took him to the doctor and, sure enough, there was a fracture. However, his body healed the imperfection with a calcium buildup. He did not require a doctor’s attention (which we will not even go into how that has fed into his not wanting to go to a doctor about anything) and he does not suffer any limitations due to the fracture (hence gymnastics for so many years). However, I have felt the calcium buildup when massaging him. The point is that there was a crack that healed to be stronger and more stable than before the accident.

I believe life is like Terry’s collarbone. Fractures are going to happen; we have to hope that the healing process provides a stronger result than before.

Another subject on my mind today involves friends and family. I am so lucky to have so many friends. I am also lucky to be so close (although I want to get closer still) to my family. Seeing most of the Austin relatives this past weekend really made me think about how lucky I am. Having my Mom stay on Sunday to keep me company while my Sweetie ran up to work made me very happy. I am so lucky to have a Mother and MIL that love us and will do anything to help us out during this life altering experience. It has been very interesting to compare pregnancies with my mom. I think they are different in everyway possible. Everyone is so excited about this baby. I cannot even believe it. This baby is already so loved, she has no idea.

Then we have this upcoming Saturday. I love that we are all going to help DarkDiva in a time of need. I love that we have this group of friends that are so dedicated in helping each other that no one has to ask twice. I love that we have friends that my Sweetie likes and does not hesitate in offering his assistance.

I can honestly say that I really like my life right now. My marriage is better than ever, my friends are dedicated and amazing, and my family is close and supportive. I write about this because I never want to forget this feeling. Even with all the evil people that have passed through my life and tried to ruin it (ex coworkers and ex friends). They have not succeeded. If anything, they only fueled my happiness and where I am now.

Monday ramblings

After my sleepless night on Saturday, I expected to crash yesterday. However, that was not the case. I went strong all day. Today, however, is a different story. I am feeling great. However, I am going to need a nap. My Sweetie and I took his car into the shop for normal maintenance so I will need to pick him up before heading home. I think I will leave the office a little early and take a nap in my car.

Today flew by. The thunderstorm from this morning passed and the sky is blue and beautiful. After a much productive weekend, tonight has to have my focus on school. This will also allow my Sweetie some much needed time on his game.

Saturday marked a very interesting day for my pregnancy. I experienced a lot of ligament and stretching pain Friday night, nothing serious, but uncomfortable. Saturday morning I awoke to my belly button out of sight. It is still there, I have not popped yet, but I can no longer see my belly button when I look down. It is amazing to see such growth over night. So now, I cannot see anything below my belly and that includes my belly button. This cracks me up. I am also experiencing more swelling. Our next appointment is on Wednesday. This makes me feel relieved. They will be able to make sure my blood pressure is still good – always has been so far. I know the swelling is a part of pregnancy. However, it is annoying. Luckily, I have a husband who sees my swollen feet and instantly offers to rub them.

I am so lucky to have Terry as my husband and father of my baby. He takes the best care of me. I love telling other women about how he does all the chores right now (although I did vacuum last night and made him breakfast and lunch today), and how he is so attentive to my every need. We even discussed midnight feedings for our June Bug. He told me that if I am too tired that he wants me to pump so that he can get up and take care of her. I love this. He is so crazy about us and this baby and anyone who looks at him can tell.

Next weekend we are going to DarkDiva’s mother’s house to help prepare it for sale. The whole group will be there, approximately 12 or more of us. My job is to supervise and to watch the girls. I love these girls, so this is not a problem. I will make sure to get plenty of photos. Terry will most likely be manly moving furniture and other odds and ends. However, DarkDiva told him that he is on the babysitting committee. She understands that he does not want to be far from me for any length of time – she has witnessed so many kisses and hugs and she thinks he simply adores me (I agree). She describes us as madly in love. After the move, she is making us dinner and painting my belly. If I can get a good shot of the artwork, I will post it. The nice part of pregnancy is the belly. You cannot suck it in at all. Therefore, you might as well accept it and show it off. I have been at the point for a while, where it is obvious that I am pregnant. It helps that my Sweetie is always touching, talking to, kissing, and singing to my stomach.

Now I am headed to pick my Sweetie up from work. Before I throw myself into my schoolwork, I will make sure that we spend some wonderful time together.

Until Tomorrow

Home improvement and eye candy

This weekend was absolutely wonderful.

Friday night we had my Brother, SIL, and Mom over for dinner. Once again we had wonderful conversation and a great dinner thanks to my Sweetie making hamburgers.

Saturday we saw Cirque Du Soleil’s Varekai with MIL, SIL, SIL’s boyfriend, Niece, and mom. It was amazing. The best act involved male twins that wore little clothing and performed on a trapeze of sorts that goes around their arms. These men were gorgeous and extremely talented. My Sweetie enjoyed the part where men on seesaws jumped into sheet-like safety nets. This was so neat. I love these types of outings. June bug loved the show and proceeded to kick enough that allowed my Mom to feel her movements.

After the show, we headed to the container store and bought efla shelving for our laundry room. My Sweetie used this same system for our closet while I was in Chicago. We then headed to Linens-n-things for some much needed slip covers for our couches. We even found stain resistant ones. We then picked up a late dinner and headed home feeling much accomplished in our quest to prepare our house for our June Bug.

Today we were even more productive. After the grocery store, my Sweetie began working on our laundry room. In less than one hour, my Sweetie unveiled a new laundry room. For the first time in 6 years, (Saturday marked six years since we moved into our castle) our laundry room is organized and fully functional. My Sweetie HATES home improvement. However, he likes installing the elfa system. He did a wonderful job. It made us feel very productive and finally one step closer to our June Bug. After the project, my Sweetie felt very proud and accomplished. Now that we completed one room for organization and put on the new slipcovers (Thank you Mom), we are ready for the next step.

The weekend was perfect. I spent time with my family members while enjoying my Sweetie thoroughly. The worst part of the weekend was waking up last night at 3 and not able to fall back to sleep until 6. However, I fell back to sleep enjoying my Sweetie’s arms.

After a weekend like this, all I can say is; life is good.

The Written Word

Yesterday, my Sweetie gave me a wonderful gift to celebrate our 6 months. This was quite a surprise as this was not a celebration that required gifts.

He gave me a new statue and a card. The card was the best gift. As always, he picked a blank card to inscribe with his own poetry. His words brought tears to my eyes. As I read the card I sat down on the floor to take it all in. Words about how I am his life; about how he needs, wants, loves, and adores me; how I am his love and his only; how he cannot live without me. He ends it with thanking me for the last 6 months and for the countless months to come.

I love this man. I love my husband, Terry.

Who needs sleep

I was able to sleep after my post this morning. At one point, I had a bob next to my head purring (he is 6 today – HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOB) and my Sweetie on the other side snoring. That is what I call paradise. Don’t worry, my Sweetie didn’t snore for long, I always kick him when he does, heehee. The alarm came much too early this morning so I may go home after lunch to sleep.

Last night’s class was really good. Walking through the hospital made things very real. It made me think that in 12 weeks I will be there giving birth to the most wonderful little girl – the creation of love between Terry and me. When we got home from the birthing class we went straight to the bedroom – it is more comfortable to sit on the bed with my swollen feet. We did not turn on the TV. We simply started taking and checking our e-mails and such. Terry took the time to show me some desktops and icons that he really likes. I love them as well and he is going to alter one for me (my laptop screen size is apparently abnormal). I know it sounds simple, but moments like these are the best.

Being pregnant is indescribable. This is very true. Every pregnancy is different and the support around you has a large impact on the experience. I am so very lucky to have such a supportive husband who takes the best care of me. It is not only about him handling the chores, while that is wonderful. He also takes the time to rub my feet and back. He sings and talks to my belly. He holds me close when my hormonal rollercoaster causes tears to fall. Most importantly, he finds me silly and funny while we still have very in-depth conversations. I think that is very important to a marriage – the conversation. Not only about open communication, but able to discuss things that we both relate.

While I did sleep after my post, it apparently was not long enough. My Co-workers were worried about me. Since it is spring break, there were no bosses around, YAY me. And since I am salary and caught up on work, sneaking out is an option.

Before sneaking out, I had a lunch date with my Sweetie. We ate outside and talked about the last 6 months. He kept kissing me and making me laugh. He told me that I looked tired, but his very cute, beautiful, gorgeous pregnant wife. He melts my heart anytime. After a brief, yet passionate make out session at my car, we parted ways.

My co-workers saw me come back to work and questioned why I was there. I gave in and headed out at 2 for home. I crawled into bed and had no trouble with an almost 3 hour nap. I awoke to all the cats surrounding me.

When I checked my e-mail, I found one from my Sweetie. He sent me the desktop that we found the night before for my screen size. So Sweet.

I received a wonderful gift today as well – but that deserves its own post.

Now I am off to prepare for my Brother and SIL coming to dinner.

6 months

It is almost 3 in the morning and I am awake. Nothing bad mind you, purely pregnancy. I tossed and turned until 2. At this point, I awoke to pee and thusly, awakened the beast within – also known as hunger. We had our last birthing class last night. We always eat dinner before class. Apparently, this was not enough for me for the night. I got up quietly – no need for Sweetie to be disturbed – to find a fast and healthy snack. What else can I do when eating peanut butter crackers while waiting for sleep? Blog. The tour of the hospital was awesome. The labor and delivery room is very nice. Seeing where our little June bug will be born made it so very real for us.

Tomorrow/today marks a special day for my Sweetie and I. It is 6 months since our whole world changed. 6 months since we recommitted to each other in such a profound way. Celebrating these occasions is very important to us. We have plans with my brother for dinner. However, we will celebrate with lunch (unless I am passed out from lack of sleep tonight) as well as some on Saturday.

The last 6 months have been remarkable. In many ways, we have gone back in time to when we were new lovers with the excitement of simply hearing the other’s voice. However, it is like going back with the knowledge we have now – we are comfortable around each other unlike any new relationship. I am grateful, even much obliged, to everything that occurred with our past that set the stage for our turning point on Saturday, September 18th. Everything happens for a reason. We are where we are based on past actions. It is simple logic that if I am happy where I am, that I cannot be unhappy with the past actions that brought me to my current destination.

A person’s life is like a rich tapestry. The colors fading in and out represent the relationships that come and go. However, the main theme, the colors you can see from across the room, these colors represent the people most influential and important in your life. Ex friends and lovers are only seen when up close, as their presence is never for long or with a large enough importance to weave into the grander pattern. While their actions may help alter the present into the future, they served merely as stepping stones to get our life to the next step. They are not the people that we use to define our lives. The ones that we use to define our lives know us, mold us, and inspire us. They are the ones that we call on when times are tough, the ones that we can be goofy around, and the ones we cannot wait to tell when we have good news. These are the people we are proud to call family, friends, and mentors. I cannot imagine my tapestry without my husband’s influence. He is the one I turn to when times are tough. He is the one that I am the goofiest around, and he is the one that I cannot wait to share good news. He is my world. No other can take his place.

Alas, I found the bottom of my juice box. I must attempt to sleep. If all else fails, I might be back on tonight for more blogging fun.

Happy St Patrick's Day

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day

Today everyone is Irish. This is true. However, I really am Irish – from both my mother and father’s side of the family. Of course, with the last name I graciously accepted 7 years ago, you might not know it. This day is special to me because my father’s name was Patrick. We have our last birthing class, so we cannot miss, but know that we are wearing green – and I am craving Irish coffee (or at least cool whip). When my Grandparents were alive, we would go to their house for Irish coffee and sausage rolls. Since I was a kid I did not receive the coffee, but I did get to scoop the cool whip into the mugs and eat some for myself.

Such happy memories.

MooCow

As promised, here I am on one of the cows at the Arboretum.

The Calendar Lies

I received an e-mail from my cousin-in-law stating that I am not graduating Mother’s day weekend. In total disbelief, I grab my calendar of beautiful orchids and quickly flip to May. Sure enough, I am NOT graduating on Mother’s day weekend. I am, however, still graduating on May 14th at 10:00 at the Frank Erwin Center. The biggest difference is that Mother’s day is on May 8th (still a very important day – 13 years since I met my husband in a certain hot tub). This does not change my countdown as I focused on the date. However, this past weekend I told MIL that I am graduating on Mother’s day weekend. Good thing she reads my blog. Blame it on pregnancy brain; blame it on a faulty calendar. I even discussed graduation falling on Mother’s Day weekend with fellow students, which means I am not the only misinformed one, LOL. My cousin-in-law was worried that I would either forget to wish my mom a happy mother’s day or that I would end up with a house full of people a week earlier than the actual ceremony. Of course, invitations will have the correct date – and hopefully people would look at the date instead of hearing my words about the holiday. I think I will have my Sweetie design something for my invites this time.

My schooling adventure is almost over. Over the weekend, I received my confirmation request regarding my name and degree for my diploma. It will have my full name and MBA Accounting. I get to pick up my diploma with my little one on July 14th. Much of the process is the same as with my BBA. However, since I am graduating in May rather than December, it is a larger ceremony held away from campus. This calls for a graduation rehearsal the Thursday before, followed by a party. Friday is a special service for graduates and the “Blessing of the Brains” and Saturday is the actual event. When I graduated with my BBA, I received the most wonderful present from my Sweetie, a pearl necklace and earrings from money that he saved from waiting tables. I am not materialistic. However, I cannot help but wonder what I will receive this time. Actually, if we have everything ready for our June bug by graduation, that will be present enough.

Last night was so much fun. I loved seeing my friend again. It makes me very happy that I answered that advertisement for an accounting associate/sales coordinator back in August 1997. Once again, fate took care of me. My mom, Sonnet, and I all discussed how happy we are that we worked there. It was a great learning experience for me. It is also where I was working (for less than a month) when my father passed away. The family-like atmosphere was what got me through. I stayed there for 2 years before needing a larger company to expand my wings.

I went to lunch with a co-worker today. The conversation was wonderful, as we discussed mostly my maternity leave. However, here we are hours later and I am still so very full. When I wait to eat and get low, my eyes become bigger than my stomach. I think something light is in order for tonight.

Where is the cow picture? I am working on it. We have to resize it because the CD that we received has the pictures HUGE. As soon as this is complete, I will post the soon-to-be famous Missy on Cow photo.

World Domination Tuesday

The dark clouds and rain are back. That is ok. Today is World Domination Tuesday. I am very happy today.

Chris, my friend and co-worker from High End, is coming to work with me. While I try to see him on a regular basis, we have not worked together in over a year and a half and I miss him. He will be in AP, but very close for me to bother on a daily basis. This makes me so very happy.

Tonight, Sonnet, a friend whom I have not blogged about is coming to dinner. She is wonderfully fascinating. I met her in 1997 at my first full time job outside of working for my parents. She was in my wedding and has been a good friend throughout. We do not see each other as much as I would like, but regardless, she would offer the shirt off her back (and I am sure the guys would be very happy if this happened) for a friend. I cannot wait for her to see my belly.

Last night was another wonderful evening. My Sweetie and I went to the grocery store to pick up some last minute items for our big salad as well as ice cream. Who can say no to Cherry Chocolate Chip? Back at the house, we chatted, laughed, got silly, and made our salads. The best part of the evening was sitting in the living room eating dinner and my Sweetie says, “I told everyone that I would be on the game tonight”. I told him “OK” as he normally plays on Monday nights and I do not mind. He looked at me, smiled, and said “but I don’t want to, I want to stay here with you”. That was so sweet. He even went to sleep at the same time as I did. This does not always happen because of my falling asleep early. Last night I stayed up until 11.

This morning was nice too – no bloodshed to speak of. As we left for work, I called my Sweetie on his cell to let him know that I had to stop for gas. Imagine my surprise when I get the gas station and he is there, waiting to pump my gas for me. Such a gentleman.

Now I must talk about me for a minute, I do not think that means a change in topic, LOL. I am sure I have mentioned before how people are very drawn to me to talk/vent/discuss/confess. Co-workers that I barely know will come to me and vent about our boss or the company. I guess I do not have the “going to use this information to back stab you” look. My Best Friend said it is because I stop everything that I am doing and look at the person talking in the eye. Whatever it is, I love it. I love that people are so open with me. This also goes with men. Yesterday I had two different men hitting on me over e-mail and instant messenger while I was at work. They know I am married, they know I am pregnant. However, somehow I am still very interesting. One is single and the other is married. While I would never act on or mislead these men, talk about an ego boost. These two have hit on me since before I was pregnant and have not stopped. I guess I hold my weight better than I thought. Both have told me that I am very sexy and that they find my personality, confidence, and intelligence attractive. This makes me so happy to have my Sweetie. Yes, others hitting on me makes me feel closer to my Sweetie. It shows once again that we are together because we want to be. We both have “other options” if we wanted them, but we do not. We love where we are at in our relationship. We do not wish to explore any life that does not have the other at our side.

The BEST weekend

Blogging is so addictive, as well as pregnancy. What I mean is that I want to journal and capture most of my day-to-day tasks and thoughts, so that I can reread and remember the feelings that I am experiencing during this wonderful time.

From my last blog on Saturday I said we were about to head to dinner. In spite of falling asleep on my Sweetie’s chest (the most comfortable place in the world), we did make it to dinner. We had a great dinner with wonderful conversation. The plan was to go to a late movie or watch a DVD at home after eating. This did not happen. We were so deep in our wonderful conversation that it continued from the restaurant to the house and while we walked up and down our street watching a helicopter and did not finish until after we got inside and ready for bed. I love these discussions.

I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy is going. Yes, I say that a lot. Nevertheless, it is so true. I am now officially in my third trimester. And other than feeling sick for three months (and now off and on as it turns into heart burn), taking an iron supplement, experiencing some swollen feet, and two beautiful stretch marks (badges of honor – I can’t even imagine what I would have for stretch marks if I gained weight), I have had a great pregnancy. I will honestly miss being pregnant when the wonderful day in June arrives. However, I am sure my little June Bug will keep me distracted.

Speaking of our little bug. I had the most wonderful experience yesterday morning. After watching “In the womb” on Friday, we learned that at this point she knows my voice and can hear others around me, although it is muffled. The neatest part is that they said that if she listens to the same music repeatedly she can “learn it” and recognize it.

I sat on the couch while my Sweetie made muffins. He asked about a Sarah McLachlan song that was stuck in his head and trying very hard to sing the melody. After listening to “Stupid” (which was the song stuck in his head,) I decided to see how much my June Bug can hear. I put the speaker onto my belly and played “Answer”. This is a deeply important song to my sweetie and me. Right when the piano started to play, she began to kick. She kicked through the whole song. She really loved it. My Sweetie came in to see how I was doing. My head was back with tears streaming down my face. It made me so happy to feel her respond to something that I directly caused. Apparently, it was the piano. I played “Baby mine”, a beautiful a cappella version that I found on iTunes. She did not react once.

Yesterday was the normal grocery store outing with Brother tagging along again. However, before heading out my Mom proved to show how much she will spoil this baby. My Sweetie has been drawn to frogs lately. She bought him a frog puppet to use when playing with our baby. It is perfect. We had fun in the store (my Sweetie had fun riding the cart down the isles) although I did get very low in the store and by the time we got to the register I had to purchase a snickers and eat it while sitting on a nearby bench. After the store, MIL and Best Friend came over to the house to talk to my Mom about the shower. Of course, this meant I had to leave the room. I went into our June Bug’s room and sat on the futon renaming photos from our Arboretum outing. As soon as I have the size altered, I will post me on the Cow. It is just too cute. Well my Sweetie actually said, “You look beautiful in this photo”. I have to trust him about this. It makes me feel very loved that this much time, attention, and organization is going into my shower. We all went to dinner after the meeting where Best Friend told me repeatedly that my only part in the shower is to grow the baby and show up on the day. /sigh. It is wonderful, and hard, to not have any control.

That brings us to today. My Sweetie and I slept in too late again. We were in the process of waking up when I looked at my nightstand and saw that my water glass was there all night without a cat knocking it over. With less than 10 seconds from this thought, my big orange boy Bob came running onto the bed, knocked over the glass causing water to hit him and me. This combined with my yelling caused him to freak (all of this happened without him actually stopping) and run across my Sweetie and off the bed. I jumped up and grabbed towels. I noticed that my Sweetie was not moving and I thought it was because he was comfy on the bed. I look over and he has two cuts on his chest and two on his face. My poor baby, he looks like he was in a bar fight. Because I was worried about the excessive blood loss (did that sound like a good reason) we opted to co-shower. It really does save time and money, and it got his focus off his cuts.

Oh and I totally have to write this because I told him that I would blog about it. I made HIM breakfast today. That is right. I did it all myself. It was not anything hard, but I have not made him breakfast in a long time, not since he decided that I need to be a princess. While I LOVE being a princess, I like being able to take care of him from time to time.

This is very long. I should have a bell go off at this point to awake the readers who might be asleep after reading about my boring life.

What a day!!!

What a wonderful day. We started with breakfast, nothing romantic (I had peanut butter and jelly toast) but he was willing to make anything I wanted. I cannot help it if I can be simple at times.

After enjoying some wonderful conversation, my Sweetie decided that I should rest my eyes for a few minutes before we began our wonderful day. I cannot say no to that.

When I awoke about 30 minutes later, it was time to get ready to begin our adventure. By the time we left the house, I was getting hungry for lunch. We went to the Arboretum, picked up some Pok-E-Joes, and took it over by the cows to enjoy the weather. Although a little windy, it was wonderful (I know I use this word too much). When we parked at the Arbor and my Sweetie opened his door, a toddler boy came running up to him and grabbed his leg (while he was still in the car). This made the mother so embarrassed. However, we could not help but laugh. Obviously, this child knows someone with a car similar to mine. I think the mother felt some relief when she saw my belly when I got out of the car.

After eating, my Sweetie went back to the car to get our camera and Flat Stanley. Flat Stanley is a project for my eight-year-old niece. Family or friends take Flat Stanley on a journey and document with photos. When my Sweetie got back I was leaning on a cow, claiming it for my own. He thought this was very cute. We took a picture with Flat Stanley, the cow, and me and then he says “Now I want a picture of you on the cow.” Of course, I was on the highest of the cows. I was not sure of this set up. However, since my Sweetie is usually more cautious with my belly than I am, and he was ok with it, I decided that it would be a neat shot. He helped me up. I have trouble getting on this cow when I am not pregnant – let alone with a belly as big as mine. I am sure it was a sight. After the picture, I made sure to get one of my Sweetie riding the cow.

We did almost experience a horrible kidnapping when a young child saw Flat Stanley on the ground and decided she should have him. Luckily, the wind came in and took Flat Stanley from her hands and the rescue was successful.

After the cows, we walked over to the lookout portion of the walkway. My Sweetie was so cute and wanted a picture of us together. We shall see if either of the two attempts come out. I might just post a picture with half my face and my Sweetie’s nose.

We left the Arbor and headed to BabiesRus to have some fun. The experience was not as overwhelming as we expected. We went through the store, Sweetie with the checklist and me with the scanner, and had a blast. Several hours and 7 pages later, we completed the registry. It made the whole “having a baby” situation soooo real. I can see how registering can be stressful and cause arguments for some couples, but not us. We had a wonderful time throughout. It really showed me how strong we are as a couple and how ready we are to have this little girl.

From BabiesRus we went to the mall. We enjoyed a snack (I had icecream), purchased a couple of DVD’s, and looked through Build a Bear Workshop (we could not find a soft enough bear). By this point, I was tired, feet were aching, and I needed water. So here we are, resting before our big date tonight. I am sitting on the bed because I can have my swollen feet up easier. My Sweetie is enjoying a nap next to me with Abby sleeping on him. She never does this. I just hope she allows him to wake up to take me to dinner. If he is this crazy over a kitty (and who can blame him) how is he going to be with a little girl. Lord help us all ☺ Alas she moved and now he is awake. I think it is time for us to continue our wonderful day and get ready for our date.

Explaining my poetry

If you have never read my poetry before, you might not know that it can go a little dark. Not all of it, but the majority are this way, This doesn't mean that I am upset. I like to write this way. What started everything today was reading DarkDiva's poem and one from BestFriend that I did not post because the killing me would be so much. Both poems were about MotoDiva and the Diva friendship. I was very into thinking about MotoDiva's life and how everything is changing. That got me started. Once I get started, I flow. Some of my best poems in high school were very dark - although they did make the poetry publication. Some even concerned my mother. When I explained that I don't always write about what I experience, she felt better. A good way to look at it is that I start on an emotion or situaiton and then magnify it.

Unable to Speak

Slip away into the corner
Hiding from on looking eyes
Resisting the urge to scream
Settle for tears

Longing for understanding
Fearful of judgment
Comfort in silence
Away from the world

Life moves too quickly
Hard to keep up
Stupid games we play
To keep out reality

Strength defines
Yet weakness prevails
Expectations to reach
Overwhelmed

~Missy

DarkDiva Poetry

DarkDiva wrote this yesterday. I think it is beautiful and wanted to share. Perhaps I should write some poetry of my own today.

Friends are the ones who remain
After desolation
After the rains clear
After the partygoers have left the house in shambles
After clashes.

Love does not dissipate.

Mental Health Day

Intellectual lawn
Spring day pulls the masses
Clear skies and soft breeze
Such a wonderful feeling

iPod playing in my ears
Steel drums not far away
They seem in time
A Broadway musical for me

I smile taking it all in
This might be my last full day
I spend on campus as a student
A yellow butterfly soars in front of me

This is my school
Where I should be
I started here on my own
Out of my own decision and need

I sway to the music that only I hear
Others read, sun bathe, and play Frisbee
I feel emotional
My journey here is coming to an end

I lie down on the bed of grass
The tree as my comforter
I feel at peace
Then I feel Serif kick
Life is good.

So long ago, yet it feels like yesterday, I walked on this campus to meet my advisor and begin my journey. I asked the first student that I saw to point out Holy Cross Hall. It is a beautiful old building with much history. I had no idea that five and a half years last I would be at the end of my graduate degree. I love my school.
I picked it for several reasons.
1) When I was looking and sending inquiries to the local schools, this is the only one that called me directly – the others sent a form letter.
2) Size – I liked the feel and the attention that comes with a small class
3) My father wanted to go here. However, I never stepped onto campus until the day I officially started the process
4) Flexible class schedules – I would not have to stop working to complete my degree
5) It always felt where I should be

So many of my decisions happened due to situations and factors at the time. This was a decision I made on my own. I announced to the worked that I was going back to school at SEU. It wasn’t a question but a proclamation. I started here not knowing a soul and am leaving with lifelong friends.

Leaving the school you love shouldn’t happen when you are overly emotional. I took advantage of being on campus and bought baby items. So very exciting. When I graduated with my undergraduate degree, I started the MBA program the next month. Now I will graduate with my MBA and start the MOM program the next month. It makes me walk around looking like a crazy woman, with my huge smile – almost as big as my belly :-)

Listen to your heart

This song came on my ipod while I was enjoying my campus. I love the words to this song, so I thought I would share. It is so true, all we can do is listen to our hearts.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know there is something in the wake of your smile
I get emotions from the look in your eyes
You built a love, but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns to dark

Listen to your heart
When he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart
There is nothing else you can do

I don’t know where you are going
And I don’t know why
Listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide
Swept away, nothing is as it seems
The feelings of belonging to your dreams

Listen to your heart
When he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart
There is nothing else you can do

I don’t know where you are going
And I don’t know why
Listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye

Before you tell him goodbye.

Funny Story

Last night we went to dinner with Best friend and her husband. Of course, we went to our favorite place, Chuy’s. We ran into a guy that my Sweetie used to work with at Serranos during his waiter days. To clarify – my Sweetie worked at Serrano’s from August 2002 until March 2003. After leaving Serrano’s he went to Texas Land and Cattle from March 2003 until the beginning of March 2004 – at which time he quit to dedicate 150% of himself in finding a full time job – which he did and started on April 1, 2004 (Almost a year).

So, we talked with his old co-worker for a couple of minutes and found out that his wife was working that night too. She came by near the end of our meal. I was feeling exceptionally full and without realizing, I sat back in my chair to relieve my back. She looked up at me and points to my belly, looks at my Sweetie and says, “Is that yours?”

He smiled the biggest smile ever and brought his hand to my belly. As he gently rubbed on our little girl’s home, he turned and said “yes”.

I think I am looking rather pregnant lately.

You must be this tall to ride....

My belly is large today – swelling with child. As her arrival approaches, I find the emotional rollercoaster to change course at a faster rate. I admit when the hormones take over my body. Today is a nice combination of bliss and sadness. I am grateful that today is slow at work. I am listening to my iPod. I love this tool. All of my “therapy” songs are on here. With a simple shuffle, I listen to Allison Kraus followed by Tori Amos and some Venus Hum for smiles (how can you not smile at Montana). Do not get me wrong, this is not a full out low state – I do not feel the urge to hide in my closet. Just a little blah followed by a huge YAY. Good thing emotional roller coasters do not make me as sick as an actual one would at this point – not to mention not being able to fit into the seat – lol.

I use this blog as a journal. While I try to focus on all the good in my life, it out weighs the bad by quite a bit, I do not want to paint a picture of a life seen though rose colored glasses. I still experience my depression – not nearly like at my worst. I am very happy to say that my depression is not as bad as some that I know. I have never thought to take my life, nor to harm my body in anyway (many piercings and a tattoo do not count). I am able to function without meds. However, I have low days where my Sweetie does not know what to do to help me. I digress, because today is not a low day.

Today is a “oh my goodness, I am starting my third trimester this weekend, AND there are only 8 weeks left of class (7 until everything is due), AND we need to prepare the house for a baby, AND there is that registry, AND will I come back to work or be a SHAM (stay at home mom) AND graduation – big party or small, AND are we choosing the right name (much harder to name a baby than a cat), AND what about daycare, AND the CPA, AND AND AND……..

Ladies and Gentlemen, you just witnessed a freak out moment experienced by Missy. The experience is much more animated in person.

I still love being pregnant – I simply have these moments of overwhelming sensations.

I had lunch today with my Sweetie. Completely spontaneous and exactly what I needed. He makes me so happy. That is a fact. There is nothing sweeter than receiving an im that says “wow - i am really missing you right now.” This caused our lunch plans.

I have work to do on campus this weekend. Because my campus is so beautiful and since it will be the weekend before spring break and should be empty, my Sweetie is going to come with me. I love this. I love showing off my school. If anyone has not seen my school I am more than willing to offer tours – heehee. Can you tell that I am proud?

My Dear Friends

I am having another pregnancy hormone attack. Do not worry – it is a good one. I am simply overwhelmed by my friends. The ones here and outside of the Austin area. They are true friends. How does that song go? Friends are Friends forever. That sounds nice. However, it is not true. I have had my fair share of less than desirable friends. From my college roommate who ended up with a guy who abused her and she pushed me away in the process, to another who hung out with me to try and get my guy, to others who tried to mentally abuse me and discourage my success. I understand in these situations that they were not true friends. I also understand that their actions were not solely about me and I do not hold any grudges. My only point is a comparison.

The Divas are amazing. I know that they would never treat me badly or betray me – we are a sisterhood. My Sweetie likes me to hang out with these women. They are stronger than any of my past friends and much more intelligent. I have been with my Sweetie for almost 13 years, so he is a pretty good judge on comparing present and past friends. I am honored that they include me in their group, even with me being the youngest. It honors me even more that they consider me as intelligent as they are. I do not see it yet, but I will not argue the compliment.

MotoDiva is staying with Best Friend until she can move into her own place. Apparently, there was a “secret” meeting about me last night. They were discussing my baby shower. You see MotoDiva is a project manager, PMP, as a trade. She is the best to talk to with about any project. All three women are very excited about this baby. Last I heard, DarkDiva is going to design the invites. Her first degree is in Studio Art – before she decided to go back to school and become a doctor.

I met Best Friend Christmas of 2001 and we started hanging out at the beginning of 2002. She was instantly telling me how wonderful, smart, and successful that I am. It was very different from my best friend at the time. She changed my life. I can say that for sure. She also understands depression and what I go through. My self-esteem skyrocketed with her. She is the one who introduced me to MotoDiva and DarkDiva. This group also showed me that it is ok to only surround yourself with those that you like and respect.

I am very lucky that my only friends are not only in Austin. Sweetie’s Best friend from highschool’s wife is a good friend. In spite of everything going on in her life, she always checks up on me. She has even offered to come and stay with me some after the baby. This is much appreciated. She is a good friend that I feel very comfortable confiding in.

I am having a day where I feel very blessed.

I received an update from Classmates.com, the reunion is drawing near so I always check the updates. I think my Sweetie is the only part of me that is the same since 10 years ago. I am more confident, more able, more compassionate, have a better body image, and feel much less of a need to “fit in” with everyone. I guess to sum it up – I like who I am, I like the life I live, and I love those who are around me.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

After 6 weekends of rain, we have sunshine. Not just sunshine, but blue skies, highs forecasted for the upper 60’s/low 70’s and only one day of rain in the forecast during the week before a “should be” pretty weekend.

I am in a great mood today. We overslept this morning. Not with a frantic – get out of bed and rush, rush, rush way – but in a let us snuggle longer kind of way.

Since I am not taking a class on campus, it has not hit me that my last spring break is next week. Before baby, Sweetie and I planned to go to Portland. However, due to finances, and flying, this has changed. The other bad part is that this class has so much to do in it; I probably will be busy with schoolwork. That is ok with me. This weekend I will be at school working on a big project due on Monday. Then the next weekend we are going to see Cirque Du Soleil. It is going to be awesome. Baby (ugh she has a name – should I post it?) is at a point where she responds to light and sound, so she should have some fun.

Something hit me yesterday on the way home. I was thinking of my little one and her coming into the world. I think about this a lot. And I suddenly realized that we will be the first to hold her, to kiss her, to love her. She will be brand new – just for us. I cannot wait. Even with the pain, the sickness, the exhaustion, I love being pregnant. I love not caring about sucking in my belly. I love the looks I get from both men and women. I love that more doors are opened for me. I love that co-workers fell closer to me and ask about the health of my baby. I feel closer to my co-workers and I fit in more than before pregnancy. I love that when they ask how I am feeling it is not simply to see polite, they honestly are looking out for me. This is such a miracle.