countdown has begun

OK I test in 69.5 hours. Not that I am counting or anything :-) I am doing good. I am making sure I understand what I am studying and not cramming. If this means I don't pass this time, so be it. The bottom line is there are four tests. The items on the first three tests are on the fourth. This means I can't just forget the information when I leave, I will need it again in April or July.

And, of course, I feel like crap. I always get sick before a big test. I don't think I ever had a final in all of my college where I was completely healthy. Oh well. I hoped my surgery would cure that, guess it is in my genes. Actually that makes sense, my Dad was sick with his Surveying exams.

Another good thing is Sweetie found my alpha omega necklace. It had been missing since July. I feel more normal with it back around my neck.

The good thing is I will know if I passed by 11:30am on Saturday. It is Sweetie's Dad's b-day. That is why I scheduled it that day. Perhaps he can "stop by" and help me some with the test. He wasn't a accounting or finance person, but he was a computer programmer - so he should be able to go into the computer and tell me the right answer, right? :-)

Other than that, things are boring around these parts. We are almost ready for Halloween. I get to go as a Mom in an Orange shirt. Bug approved it.

I cleaned my desk at work. It has given me a very calming feeling. My desk gets SUPER messy during a project. I don't like to put things away that I am using. Once the project is over, I clean it. It is a ritual. Co-workers even walk by and say "so you finished a project". I also did it today as I can't sit still, I want to study. I think I will use the afternoon for some questions.

Best thing to hear:

"i love you
don't be stressed
you will succeed
and every "failure" gets you closer to full understanding and ultimate victory"

So true. What wonderful insight to hear today from Sweetie. He has been amazing. He is the most supportive with giving me time to study. He takes Bug to play and handles the chores. I am beyond lucky. Tonight is more studying. I better pas. Quite frankly I am growing bored of the topics.

And we walked

Today was Livestrong. MIL, Niece, Sweetie, Bug and I all walked. We walked in honor of those we love who are in the fight or have kicked cancer's ass. It was a lot of fun.

One week until test. I will be preparing until time of testing. I need to post pictures too.

Right now I am tired so I am gathering my girl and headed to bed :-) Nothing better than snuggling with Bug as a reward for studying.

a weight lifted

This weekend was good. Friday was date night, Saturday was b-day party for one of Bug's friends and errand day with Mom. Today was family day and the Maker Faire with BestFriend. It was cool with a life size mouse trap - like the game.

I studied at work on Friday, at Mom's on Saturday, and three hours tonight. I don't feel the most confident, but it is coming. I am doing what I can. It fully sunk in that if I don't pass, it is OK. I know that sounds counter-productive but it truly helped. I was expecting perfection and fully accepting that I am human and can only do what I can helped. After all the friend who got me into this CMA route even had to take two sections twice. Plus, I have had an rough couple of months. If I don't pass it would be understandable. With that said, I will be studying daily. I am still giving 100%, but I will not be devastated if I don't pass, I simply will pick up where I left off and study some more.

With all of that said, can I just add that I love my new nose. I had no idea how hindered my breathing was before. My Dr said I would be feeling better at this point and that in another two weeks I am going to be feeling great. I love it.

Next weekend is LiveStrong. If you are in Austin on Saturday come and walk/run with us. 3.1 miles for a great cause. What more can you ask for? Oh and the forecast shows a high of 81. Yay!

OK off to bed, I am feeling positive.

ME!!!!

I am feeling great today. Ok a little tired, but nothing out of the norm. Other than that, I feel great. I have not really posted in so long. Mostly because I haven't had much to post. I have been recovering, studying, and doing the day-to-day tasks.

It is funny today on my day of feeling good is also the day I just hit my freak out point. The point where the test is so close and I want to pass it so much but I start to doubt myself. I just need to study all the time for the next two weeks.

But I feel normal again. I don't feel sick and run down. I feel energized and silly. I feel no depression. It is a good day. And it is so beautiful outside. It is 68 degrees. I love it.

We went to Half Price Books on Tuesday. I found the greatest find. The same people who made Power90 made Slim in 6. It is a 6 week program rather than 90 days. Normally, this runs for $60. I got it for $10. I came home and checked out the DVDs to see if they were in good shape. Sure enough they look great. The previous owner completed 3 days of the program and then stopped for whatever reason. No judgement there as I have no room to talk with stopping programs. So I am going to start it tomorrow and it will end on Thanksgiving.

Of course, I also need to train for the Turkey Trot. Oh and study.

Hmmm so much I want to do.

Bug and Sweetie are doing great. He has been #1 dad and watching Bug whenever I need so I can study. She is getting so big. Her new thing is to come up to you and say "mommy, you be my best friend?". I love it. I jump up and down and act silly and say yes. I know everyone is shocked that I EVER act silly. I tell you if daycare paid more, that is where I would be working. I love hanging out at her school and with the kids. In the meantime I will just be the favorite class mom.

So off to study. Wait I am at work. I cannot study, I must be a good employee ;-)

three weeks until test
today i study at work
so nice and quiet

over five hours
listening to my lectures
brain take it all in

Hallo

I am still here. Not feeling great. But I am hanging in there. I am focusing on studying. I look forward to feeling good again. I do have two cool things to post about.

Yesterday the NP for my family doc called. My chart was being updated with the miscarriage. She saw it and called me to tell me how sorry she is. She said there are just some patients that stay on their mind and in their prayers and I am one of those patients. It meant the world to me. Makes me feel like big health isn't necessarily here. There are some small practices out there that care.

A bit of Sweetie's family history will be on display at the Texas History Museum. MIL submitted a brand for loan. It is so awesome. I cannot wait to go and see it in all its glory.

irony

I am not bruised or even in that much pain. However, I feel like I have a horrible sinus infection. The irony? I got the surgery to prevent sinus infections. It is funny. I have slept most of the weekend. Yay fun! Sweetie has been amazing and took bug to three events this weekend without me. He truly does know how to take care of me.

I will be at work tomorrow. I don't know if I will last all day, but I am going to give a good try. The other issue is I have is drainage. Just kind of gross.

Anything else new? Nope.

new nose

I survived. YAY. Actually it isn't bad. I got up at 4:30am, arrived at the hospital at 5:30, surgery at 7:30, home at noon. My throat was the worst so far. The breathing tube scratched me up good. I don't remember it going in or coming out, so that is good. But bad sore throat and it hurt to talk or even eat. That combined with me having a nauseous reaction to the anesthesia, made for a focus on taking pain meds and sleeping. 

I have kept down dinner so far, cross your fingers. I really am doing good. Once I knock out this headache, I will be much better. Even with a nose filled with dried blood, I know TMI, I am already noticing an improvement in breathing. 

 

calm

Perhaps it is the calm before the storm, but I am feeling much better today. I am focusing on the good things. Won't you join me?

1. Sweetie took my computer to the Dr today. He is so awesome like that. He said I would either have a fixed computer or a new one today.
2. Computer is fixable. While a new computer would have been nice, I would like to save for it and plan for the expense, instead of a "have to".
3. I have been good with studying and enjoying the topics.
4. I am excited for the surgery. If you put your finger under my nose and I breath out you can feel the difference from one nostril to the next. There is quite a bit of difference. I am not sure what I am going to do when I can breath normal.
5. I am still focused on the P90 program. However, I have not worked out since Sunday. I don't want to overdo it and get sick. As soon as I feel up to it, I will be exercising again. It doesn't stop my 90 day goals, it just changes how I get to the end of the 90 days.
6. Week one of weight watchers went very well. I lost 3.8 - whoo hoo! I am motivated. This weigh in is what i needed before tomorrow. The old me would drown my pain with bad for me food. This is going to keep me good.
7. SIL's MIL is doing Thanksgiving this year. My year for Christmas Eve. I am beyond psyched for the Turkey Trot.
8. I am very excited about the debate tonight. I don't think I ever watched the debates like I have this election. I am going to get some dinner and enjoy my family. We are watching the debate with MIL and Mom.
9. My mood is much better today. I feel like I am peeking out of the hole. Now I just need to hoist myself out. Better yet, anyone got a hand?
10. Bug's eye is so much better. It is a beautiful shade of black/purple/yellow/green/blue. Should be perfect for picture day tomorrow.

I will update everyone with how I am doing as soon as I can tomorrow. But send good thoughts/prayers around 7-9am CST.

some updates

• I am fighting my depression still. Blah. I hate chemical days.
  
• Surgery for my deviated septum and correcting my sinuses is Friday morning. Butt ass early in the morning too.
  
• Bug's eye is looking worse but better. The swelling is gone as well as the pain. It is WAY more colorful. No worries I am taking pictures everyday.
  
• Computer goes to the Dr tomorrow. I should have a fixed computer or a new laptop.
  
• I am in a hole right now. I am working my way out. I hate it when I am in holes.
  
• I have been so good with WW, first week weigh in tomorrow. I hope to see a smaller number.
• One month until my first test. I am going to put everything into passing.
• And I have had a headache for two days and I cannot take anything because of the surgery - FUN!
  
• OK that is enough updates. Off to prepare for Friday.