nothing - yet everything

This morning I rejoined WW at work. It was very good for me. I feel in control again. I also restarted the power 90 challenge. Yay for me.

Today I went to the allergist. They poked me 80 times, 40 in the back, 20 in each arm - to test me for what I am allergic to. Guess what? I am not allergic. My reactions when molds get high are due to environmental changes and not the pollen itself. Yes, I am complicated like that. The Dr prescribed some allergy medication to help me - I know that sounds funny.

I also found out I have a deviated septum. I always felt I breathed out of one nostril more than the other. Now I know why. I go the the ENT on Monday. The allergist said that getting my septum corrected would cut down on my sinus infections drastically. I hope it is that simple. Of course, we are talking about me so probably not.

I am feeling good. I am getting myself healthy again, mental and physical. I have been experiencing some depression. I am doing everything in my power to keep it at bay.

Last night Bug and I went to dinner with BestFriend. She is awesome. She knows I am fighting this slump which means I need to be pushed to do things. She demanded it, and I am beyond grateful. Thank you, BestFriend for being so amazing.

I need to close this for now, I must get back to my studying.

SRC Day 4: P90 circuit 1-2 - complete

glow-worthy

Today was the appointment. My thyroid is at 2. That means it is in the perfect range. I feel best when it is under 3. No need for me to whip out the new standards because I am within the new range. However, today marked my 1.5 years since being diagnosed. We have not altered my meds any during this time. Remember the goal is to need to reduce the meds slowly until none is needed. This does not look good for remission. So I am on the path for RAI - otherwise known as I-131. Yes, this is scary, yes this is extreme.

Here are the needed steps:
Step One - take last medicine - done
Step Two - get blood work done (4-6 weeks without meds). This will show my TSH levels without my anti thyroid drugs
Step Three - get uptake scan - so Dr can determine dosage
Step Four - begin low iodine diet one week before RAI
Step Five- get RAI

There are precautions to take after the RAI, but not as bad as if I were getting this for thyroid cancer. I cannot be near people for prolonged periods of time at a close proximity for the first couple of days. I can hug, but not snuggle. That is going to be hard. No kissing, no sex, and that kind of thing.

Now the tricky part is planning all of this. My first timeline had me starting the one week diet right before Halloween. Now, with Weight Watchers and all I would not be going overboard, but chili is not allowed on the low-iodine diet and I have to have my chili on Halloween. Then there is my b-day and Thanksgiving, and Christmas. And part of me wants to wait to do the blood work, because that is what starts everything in motion, until after the first of the year. Of course, even with that said, I am going to be watching my symptoms. And if after the 4-6 weeks if I start to notice all bad symptoms that I had before diagnosis, then I will go ahead and do the blood work.

I am scared of the weight gain. I already gained weight with this disease and treatment, I already paid the price, shouldn't that count for something. And I am fighting so very hard right now to get it off. Which, of course, means that all training plans that are set now will stay in place. I will continue with my walking and power90 workouts. I will beat this.

And speaking of walking. I am not doing the IBM 10k. I know I could finish it. I know that it wouldn't kill me. But when I did my half-marathons I promised myself that I wasn't going to just finish races anymore. I want to feel good afterwards. I want to know that I am prepared. With that said, my knee has been bugging me a little - nothing bad - so I am going to do the 4k fun run instead that day. My main focus is still the LiveStrong Challenge on Oct 13th. And the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving (5 miles).

When I got to work, BestFriend asked about the appointment. When I told her about the RAI, she asked how I was doing. I realized that I am doing good. I know I hate the thought of it, but I think I have come to terms with it. It is all good. And we only have to wait 6 months post RAI to start trying for #2. And Bug so needs a #2.

Thankful for:
6 - The ability to walk. While I may never be a runner, I am able to move my body and for this I am grateful. On my walk yesterday, I saw a woman in a wheel chair. I do not know any of the details. But it reminded me that I am very lucky.

7 - My health. Though I do have an autoimmune disease and have to make some decisions, it could be so much worse. I am grateful that I am not so sick that I do not have time to think about my options.

Happy for a Three Day Weekend

Last night I had the honor of having dinner with BestFriend, MotoDiva, and IronDiva. It was so much fun and needed. Sweetie sent buttons for me to give the girls. They put them on immediately, and that made me smile. They are such a great group to be around.

Now let's talk a little about me - I know shocking. I have been exercising. I have been eating healthier. I am feeling better. Yesterday, was a very good day. Every month we celebrate birthdays. One woman in the company makes a multitude of cakes. Everyone can get a full on piece of any, and all, of their choosing. Yesterday was the day. They send an email in the morning. I thought, crap this is going to be hard to fight. I go into the breakroom to get my water and two co-workers noticed my weight loss. OK so maybe not so hard to fight. 3:00 come and sure enough I was strong. I stayed away from the break room. I was successful.

Then I had a meeting with my boss. Remember the "promotion" I received? I put it that way as my title had manager in it from day one, but finally people have to do what I say. Well they decided I needed a raise with that promotion. This company does not give raises, I knew this coming in. But I will sacrifice pay for location and flexibility. Well, long story short, I received a raise :-D YIPEE, I guess they like me. So I was feeling good about myself and went to get more water. Yes, I am very good with my water. The breakroom still had the leftovers of the birthday cakes. And they had Chocolate Cupcakes. OMG I love those. I had my low fat turkey slices in hand and walked past, paused, thought "mmm I need to celebrate", went back and looked at them. I then walked away AGAIN. I knew I was seeing my girls that night. And I decided that if I wanted to celebrate that I should do it with someone and not by eating a cupcake alone in my cubicle. And at dinner I did celebrate. I had a very healthy and low point dinner and we all shared a piece of carrot cake. And I worked out before meeting my friends for dinner. So I worked out, even when I was short on time, I ate right even while eating out, and I survived a celebration without ruining my diet. YAY!

And once 5:00 finally gets here, my long weekend begins. Tonight is a date night with Sweetie. We are going to our Sushi place again, if we can get there before the rush hits. Then I have no idea what our plans are. Tomorrow we are going to work on our yard, such fun. And then Monday we are going over to MotoDiva's for her famous Jambalaya - everyone dance.

Next week is a big week. I hit my day 30. Which in the world of Power90 you take your measurements and photos every 30 days. I also give blood again and go and see my endo. I have NO idea what my levels are. I have given up trying to guess. I do know that I want off of these meds. I will keep everyone updated. I am taking the article with me regarding the new guidelines for thyroid levels. The good news is that I receive my results before the actual appointment so I can prepare. The bottom line is that I am feeling better than when my WBC was high, so that is good. I just want to keep me feeling good.

So with Sweetie's button hobby, I have many buttons, and I like to wear them. I also have them on my purse. This has caused many comments from co-workers. Today a co-worker asked if Sweetie would make her a button. I think he is going to just freak out when he hears this. He loves to make them. She even suggested a theme. I love that I can brag about him with things like this.

Oh and it looks like my knee needs to be good as IronDiva has said she needs to do a 10k the same time as the IBM 10k. Must not back out now. I am hoping to get some miles in this weekend.

OK I know this was long and lame, but bear with me. I am trying to multi-task here :-)

Everyone have a great and safe weekend.

25 down/65 to go

things are a changin'

I know it has only been 2.5 weeks, but I have good things to report. I have worked out 15 times. That is HUGE for me. I cannot remember the last time I actually followed a program for this long. Even with my walking with TNT, I was not good about all the walks. I have been working out six days a week and eating so much better. I have logged my points and made better choices.

The most exciting thing is that I am already seeing results. I am feeling thinner, healthier, stronger, and more flexible. This is a great beginner program because you don't do dumbed down versions of exercises. Sweetie does many of the same exercises that I do in his intense program. It is a real workout. Sweetie tells me that he can see the changes as well. I cannot wait until Day 30 when I remeasure and take progress photos.

I have been focusing on this program and not my walking, as I don't want to over do it and injure myself. The IBM 10k training starts next week. The plan is still for LiveStrong (5k) on Oct 13th and IBM (10k) on Oct 21. However, if my knee does not cooperate, I might simply focus on LiveStrong.

And I have to say that Bug is the best little trainer ever. When I exercise she has to have her own yoga mat out. She will even do some of the stretches and kicks with me. On Saturday we were all in bed snuggling and contemplating starting our day. I mentioned that I had to workout when we finally got up. Bug left the bed. She came back with my workout shoes, placed them on my stomach and said "Go"! She will also say "yay Mommy", randomly while I work out. Talk about motivation. I am feeling really good. My energy level is back up. I am feeling very in control of my life right now. That is a nice feeling.

Now, Bug and I are watching The Lion King. It is a girl's night for us. So I must close the post and get back to our girl fun; nails and a bubble bath are in order.

Man I love this movie: "he lives on in you" and "it is in the past, you can either run from it, or learn from it".

18 days down/72 to go

hiya

Back at work. Bug is at school, no fever since Tuesday, so keep your fingers crossed. I was again good yesterday; I did my sculpt workout as well as walked 2.5 miles. Tonight is dinner out with friends.

This might just be the shortest post ever. I just wanted to get on and say that I am doing good.

10 days down/80 to go

feeling strong

First, of course most important, Bug is feeling more like her old self. Her fever lasted all day Friday and Saturday. Luckily, she did not have one yesterday. I was afraid the emergency room would be in our plans.

I did my workout on Friday and Saturday. Yesterday was a rest day. YAY. First week done, 12 more to go. This week my goal is to start my training for the 10k while keeping up with my power90 workouts.

So working out, keeping Bug happy, and installing my mom's garage door opener - though not 100% complete yet, was our weekend. I wouldn't say boring, just not action packed. And sometimes that is best.

And I am happy to say that I counted my points all 7 days last week - even on the weekend. Oh and I am wearing some pants that I have not worn in a couple of months because they were tight - heehee.

And to my friend who is hurting. I miss you!

7 days down/83 to go

I swear you're just like me, sipping a cup of pity

Today Bug woke with a fever. I stayed home to be with her. That means I most likely need to go in this weekend to make up for it, but that is part of this game called being a working mom. She is napping now and I think she is feeling better.

This week has been busy. I have been so very good with my diet and exercise. Here is a recap:
Day 1 - Monday - Sculpt - felt good but owie on the push-ups and tricep dips
Day 2 - Tuesday - was sore but not overly so. Cardio - had to do the second DVD as the first was still not working, took it light and it felt good. Abs - felt it!!
Day 3 - Wednesday - sore again. Sculpt - felt stronger than on Monday. I was able to do more of the pushups and triceps.
Day 4 - Thursday - woke without being sore - YAY! Did the second cardio again and was able to do more than on Tuesday. I even saw a glimpse of my biceps :-) Abs - did more than on Tuesday.

And that brings me to Day 5. I will do my Sculpt again later tonight. I woke without soreness again. I feel like this is really going to be good for me. Sweetie has done his workouts each night. Man, his are INTENSE. My goal is to someday be able to do those workouts.

Oh and since SIL#2's wedding I have lost enough to get this: And now onto the serious part of this post. As anyone who has read this blog for any amount of time knows, I fight depression. My worse case was last fall. I am happy to see how far I have come since then. However, I realized this week that something isn't back. My lack of fear, my ability to completely take on a task without thinking twice. I have been not pushing myself. Afraid of getting hurt, physically and emotionally. The one exception to this is the Blog Blowout I attended. This has applied to my walking, workout out, cpa, you name it. And I am sick of it. No more. I am working on taking on my challenges, of taking chances, and using my body, brain, and emotions to the fullest. I am no longer going to be second guessing my abilities. I am going to put myself out there, test for the CPA, walk the 10k, and get healthy.

Off to do workout #5 now.

90 days to a new me

Sweetie and I never ever ever order items off infomercials. Though I do like to watch them. However, a week and a half ago we felt compelled to call the toll free number. Sweetie and I are doing the workout plan Power 90. He is doing the P90x and I am doing the first level of Power 90. It took a week, but we received our items and have been gearing ourselves up for starting this journey. We are not out to become one of the "success stories". We are not out to have this huge transformation. No, we simply want to be in better shape. I would do the P90x with Sweetie, but it has a minimum requirement test that, quite frankly, I can not pass yet.

Yesterday, my items arrived. I got home and pulled out the material. We have been soaking up all the knowledge we could on the message boards and question and answer pages so that we would be prepared. I even bought a bikini to wear during my progress shots. I let nothing hold me back last night. The DVD did not work for the cardio workout and the replacement DVD will take a week to arrive, I could have used it as an excuse to postpone starting until it arrives. Then while Sweetie and Bug were at gymnastics I was going to take my before pictures. I could not find our camcorder. It has a remote and the screen flips, so it makes taking pictures of yourself very easy. It was at Sweetie's work. You are supposed to take the before pictures before your first workout. UGH. I decided nothing would hold me back. I got my digital camera, found how to do the timer, got out my tripod, and took my before photos. I then took my measurements and did the sculpt workout since the cardio did not work. Sweetie was pleasantly surprised to see me working out when he got home.

It was a good workout. I am sore today. Not too sore, but sore enough to know that I worked my muscles. The hardest part? The pushups and tricep dips - owie. But overall, I feel very motivated.

Turns out it is our DVD player and not the disc, so I will be able to workout tonight with the correct workout, I was going to use the more advanced DVD and make modifications so that I don't overdo it. But I am relieved that I don't have to. Tonight is cardio with abs and maybe some walking.

So my blog might be about weight loss, walking, and power90 more and more. Hope it isn't boring. I am simply trying to keep myself motivated. My focus is our anniversary and getting into great shape before #2. I was lucky and at the end of my pregnancy had only gained 5 pounds with Bug (and she was 6 lbs 3 oz so really I didn't gain anything). I am sure that I won't be that lucky next time :-)

Sweetie and I were both good in taking our before shots and measurements. We hope to have results good enough to post on the internet. I know those photos alone are enough to keep me on track for a while.

One day down, eighty-nine to go.