Once again a butterfly

Yes, this morning I saw another butterfly outside my window. YAY. This means I am where I am supposed to be. Everyone loves my tattoo here. I am lucky to work at a place that allows for tattoos to show.

At Work

I am at work, sitting in my desk and eating my lunch. I have a stack of pictures beside me. My Bug and Sweetie look happy in these photos. I have called three times, she is doing good. Daddy is taking good care of her.

I am contemplative today. I feel like I am in a dream. Work is strange, no once is acting weird, I am just feeling a little lost. I could not wait to get back, but I miss her so much. In addition, having my Sweetie home for 6 weeks has been wonderful.

What should I write about today? My lunch is short as I want to go home early.

Everyone at work is saying how great I look. I was even been called a Skinny Minnie – YAY.

I got in contact with a couple more people from high school. One has a baby only a week older than Bug. We are in the process of planning a get together.

Yes, I am on the verge of tears but have not actually cried yet. Tomorrow will be harder when she is at the daycare. But I know it is what I need to do for her.

Tonight we are going to have dinner, go on our walk and read. CPA review starts tomorrow. I am so excited about it. An ex-coworker and fellow Hilltopper is helping me with the review. It will help having someone yell at me, LOL.

My goal is to sit for two sections on Nov 30th and then two more on Feb 28th. I know I can do this.

Along the weight loss front, I did not lose last week. I was not unhappy by this due to many bad days. I am doing good today. The brownies are tempting but I want have my goal for my b-day to keep in mind. What is it about accounting departments and always having food.

I just called the CPA review people. Now I need to figure out what I am going to do.

Big Day Tomorrow

Well, not much time to post. I am back with the working class, as of tomorrow at least. I am excited and torn. I will post more on that later. I had a great day with my little family today. Tomorrow is a Daddy and Bug day as she doesn't start daycare until the 1st.

So to sum it up I feel:

Excited - to use my brain again and to interact with adults about work
Scared - 12 weeks out is scary
Sad - I will miss my Bug, but know that she will do great at her new school
Lost - I should be in bed but I am not tired yet and know if I try to go to bed now I will only toss and turn and worry - and we know how I can worry

Picture for today - my family at DarkDiva's party.

Through the night

Yes, we have officially had a Bug sleep through the night, 8.5 hours last night. 10-6:30 woo hoo!!!! Let's hope for a repeat.

What a packed weekend

First I have to say that late last night the coolest thing happened, although not the first time. I was in the bedroom reading and my Sweetie was in his computer room. I was thinking about him, but not calling his name or anything. Next thing I know he is in the bedroom. I asked him why he came when his show that he was watching was not over, he said that I called him. I told him that I didn't call. He said "no, not my name, but you called me, you needed me". I love this. We know each other so well that we communicate without words.

Now for our busy busy weekend.

Friday night was dinner with Mom and Brother. The normal deal and with great conversation.

Saturday was so busy. My two friends came, S and A, along with Amelia (A's 10 month old). Mom and MIL also came over and enjoyed the babies. Bug had the best time. She did not know what to think about this bigger baby. Amelia was very interested in Bug as well. However, the biggest issues was when A held Bug and Amelia was not happy about her mommy holding another baby.

After they left we packed up immediately and headed to the newest Diva's house, that I rarely see because that she lives far south and has a 23 month old to keep her busy. BestFriend and her husband also came along. The funny thing is that she lives only a few streets away from A and Amelia. Right when we got there Newest Diva's husband had to hold Bug. He LOVES babies. Their 23 month old is the best. She played with me and was so good with Bug. We ate so much homemade pizza, including cauliflower pizza. It was really good.

After leaving Newest Diva's house we trekked across town to G-town to spend more time with BestFriend and her husband. Once again I am so happy they are in our life. We played more Munchkin and had the best time. We got home close to 1:00.

Sunday was the normal store and such. I ran into a ex-coworker at the store and we are getting together tonight. Yay for a wonderful husband who says he will babysit. After the store I enjoyed a nap and MIL and Mom watched Sweetie play his game, lol. They are such good moms. Then Sweetie and I went out for a date. We drove around - too hot to get out and ended up at Nanking for dinner. As soon as we walked in the owner asked where Bug was. We had the best conversation. I know I say it too much on here, but I love him. When we got home and he got out of the car, I acted like I was leaving, he looked at me and mouthed, "all for me then" and ran inside laughing. I had to stop the car and get inside, he was going to get Bug all for himself, LOL. She, of course, she was asleep.

Me and Bug:

Day of Me and Tattoo

Yesterday it hit me that the first time I will be away from my baby for more than 4 hours will be on Wednesday, my first day back at work. This is not a good idea. My Sweetie insisted that I use today as a dry run.

I decided last night that I wanted to get a tattoo today. Not the one that my Sweetie and I are wanting, still waiting on the design and such a time when we both can go and get it. Rather, I wanted a tattoo for me. Every time I got a piercing or tattoo I had my Sweetie or a good friend with me. Suprisingly both times I got my tongue pierced my Sweetie was not there, lol.

So this morning we woke up at 9 and my Sweetie turns to me while we are still in bed and says, "you need to leave and start your day". I obliged and got showered and dressed. I was not feeling good but decided I still needed this day. I set out. My first trek was to Target. I bought my Bug some sunglasses, they are so big on her. Then I headed to Platinum Tattoo (any place that has slogans such as "poking people pretty" and "Keeping Austin Holy" has to be a good place). I remembered incorrectly and thought they opened at 11, nope at 12. This was actually good, as I needed food. I enjoyed some food while reading my book, yes I am savoring book six.

After noon I headed back to the tattoo parlor. While I was looking through the artist's book and discussing what I wanted my Sweetie called. I had not told him my plans, I wanted it to be all on my own. He knew I was up to something as I said I was nowhere and doing nothing, he simply laughed and told me to have fun.

The artist recommended this tattoo for me. It originally was going to be all black. However, after he had the outline he asked if he could add some red. Of course, after seeing his work, I agreed. He knew I would and already had a second ink bowl ready. It hurt a lot less than I was afraid of. I got my tattoo in December 1995. Since then I have had many many piercings. While piercings hurt, the pain is not for long. Tattoos take longer. I was worried I had grown weak. This is not the case. Did it hurt? Well, of course. However, it was nothing to even flinch over and after the outline was complete, I was pretty numb.

After my beautiful new artwork I went to get my hair trimmed. I want it to be able to grow out some before the reunion. Then I went to the mall and bought some books for my bug and Sweetie. Just as I was ready to go home, after 6 hours, my Mom called asking if I wanted to meet her at BabiesRus. Of course, I could not object. This added another hour with me being away from my Bug.

My Sweetie LOVES the tattoo. He was surprised that I got it but not shocked. When he saw the bandage he asked what I got, lol. Oh the tat is on the outside of my left leg just above my ankle.

Why a butterfly? I know it is one of the most popular tattoos. However, I have reasons for it. Butterflies follow me. With important events in my life I tend to see Butterflies. They show me that I am where I need to be. Also in the last year I feel like I have emerged as my own person. Much like a caterpillar rising from its cocoon, I have come out of events stronger and more beautiful.

So how did I do? The first time in almost 12 weeks to be away for my baby for 7 hours. I did good. Knowing she was with her daddy helped. And I trust her daycare so I should be good. The hardest thing is going to get back into work. While I am not new, I will feel like I am at a new job and relearning everything.

Isn't this a great picture?

Good Girl

7 hours of sleep. Good Bug. If only I went to sleep when she did :-(

Once again ladies and gentlemen

St Edward's made the 100 best colleges again this year.

Baseball and School

This week has been very busy so far, and things are not going to let up anytime soon.

Monday was a lazy day. Isn't that the best kind? My Sweetie and I walked and it felt good after three days off.

Tuesday we went to a RoundRock Express BaseBall game with my Mom and her Company. Since she doesn't have a spouse or children at home, her company lets her bring us along for family events. We had such fun, although it was really hot. At 10:30 at night it was still 86 degrees. Bug got cranky so I had the opportunity to walk around the stadium. They have a pool, play area, and picnic area. I was quite impressed. Yes, although the team was established in 2000, this was our first trip. I had so many people come up and compliment my bug. That always makes me happy. After the game I was waiting on Mom and Sweetie, Bug was cranky so I was pacing with her, and a couple of women were asking her age and such and saying how cute she is. My Sweetie walked up and said "I'll give you a buck for her!", smiled, and kissed me. He loves when people like our little family.

Today Mom took off from work to spend the day with us. We went to Starbucks, I love a non-fat chai. Then we went to my Bug's school. I needed to spend some time there before leaving her. The director was happy to see us and told us to spend as much time as we wanted. Bug liked the school and was very curious about the babies. She got a little fussy at one point so I sat down with her in front of some babies. This was her first time to be this close to other babies. She was very curious. The youngest in her class is 6 months. She is going to have to adjust quickly. Survival of the fittest. I really think it is going to be good for her.

After school we enjoyed a trip to BabiesRus where we purchased her first Halloween outfit and then a trek to the mall for a good wanderings and a sketch book for my Sweetie. My Sweetie puts everything in his sketch book and is about to complete his current one. We finished our outing at Manny Hattan's. While we were there Bug was so happy, cooing and smiling so much. My Sweetie smiled at her and said "looking at you makes me believe world peace is possible".

I must say that I love my BestFriend. She is the greatest. We spent the evening with her and her husband. We had the best time. I am so glad that they are in our life.

This week has been busy and things are not going to let up. Friday is family night, Saturday afternoon two friends are coming by to meet Serif, Saturday night we are going to another friend's, and Sunday we are getting together for MotoDiva and DarkDiva. So busy. What a way to finish my last weekend of freedom.

Church, Munchkin, and a Year Ago

Today has been very busy. This morning my Sweetie, JuneBug, and I went to church. We have not been to a non-holiday service since just after getting married and our favorite Priest, the one who married us, moved to another church. This is a church that I went to as a small girl and I have very fond memories of. When we think of "our" church this is where we attend. We are members and always feel comfortable there. We went back today for a big reason. First, let me back track, my mom went back over a month ago. She let us know that a baptism was happening with this service. Since we want our JuneBug babtised at this church we wanted to go and see how the new Priest handles things. I woke up this morning to my Sweetie fully dressed for church and he already had muffins baking for me. The Baptism was just what we want. They do it in groups at this church. About 5 babies were baptised this morning. I will call tomorrow and set the motion in order for getting our JuneBug on the list for the next baptism.

After church we went to the store, our normal errands, and then headed to BestFriend's house. We had the best evening. We played a game they gave my Sweetie for his b-day, Munchkin. It is so much fun. Any game that has a card like this is going to be fun to play. I love that having our JuneBug has not changed our friendship with these wonderful people.

Last year tonight, I was on a camping trip. And while I missed my Sweetie, I had a wondeful time with DarkDiva and MotoDiva. On that trip I was timid and unsure of myself around them. In only a year everything in the world has changed. My Sweetie and I are better and stronger than ever, I have more confidence in myself and my life, I am 28 pounds less, and we have a beautiful baby girl. Yes, a lot has changed in a year. This all makes me very happy. I love being able to see progress, to see healthy changes. I am very date oriented. I know when things happen. My BestFriend is not this way. She will ask me, "how long have we been friends?" That night, a year ago, was very important. My whole world started to change with that night.

This next week I am going to enjoy myself. My Sweetie will be looking for a job, of course, but we will be taking in every minute we have with JuneBug.

Now I am off to read some more of book 6 and snuggle tight to my Sweetie.

Too Tired

Alas, I am too tired for a thoughtful post. Today was our home appraisal and a date for me and Sweetie. We saw Must Love Dogs, very cute movie. But now I am tired and must go to bed.

goodnight all

Here is a picture to keep everyone happy.

Nightmare

So, I awoke this morning in a horrible way. While my baby was beside me, I awoke from a nightmare. I dreamt that my Sweetie and I were in my Mom's house after a fight. Two cops coming to the door interrupted us. My Sweetie let them in and they came to the room I was in and verified my identity. They informed me that a car crash killed my parents. They said that the other driver that hit them was fine but going to sue because one of my dad's tools from his truck hit their windshield. I asked the cops if I should sue them for killing my parents, he said yes but could not advice me. During this discussion, I was signing a bunch of papers and I commented that I would go to our attorney the next day. At this time, my Sweetie walked into the room and I looked up and said "I am so glad we had JuneBug when we did". I awoke as if the dream was reality.

Losing any more family members is one of my biggest fears. This dream really hit me not only because of losing my mother would be horrible, but because losing her without being able to say goodbye would be the worst. I am very lucky that I was able to be next to my father's bed when he passed away. I was also lucky enough to be able to say goodbye to my grandfather moments before he passed away. He chose to wait until my mother and I left the room.

This comes as no surprise. I only have one more full week off before returning to work, and then September begins. September has always been hard for me, at least since 1997. Luckily, last year my Sweetie and I made a reason for September to be happy, when we re-found each other and conceived JuneBug. The car wreck even makes sense, as it was almost a year ago that DarkDiva lost her mother in a car wreck. However, September is still hard, I miss my father more than ever. I wish he could hold my JuneBug. I wish he could see my accomplishments. I know he is around me, but I miss him. I also miss my Sweetie's father. We lost him only four months before losing my dad. I hate that my little girl does not have a grandfather. However, she is so lucky to have two wonderful grandmothers who live close.

So now that I wrote a completely depressing blog I had better add something happy. I went to the grocery store today to get makings for my famous grilled cheese sandwiches. JuneBug was so happy, grinned, and cooed all the way through. I think the soy formula that I put her on starting Thursday is helping. She is so amazing. She is mine and my Sweetie's everything.

My Brother said the best thing tonight. He stopped and looked at me and said, "You have lost weight". I smile broadly and say "yes, 28 pounds". He says, "No, since the last time I saw you (which was Wednesday), your face looks thinner". YAY.

Healthy

The best thing about today was after I got dressed to run some errands with my Sweetie and JuneBug. I had to change shirts due to something getting on it, though not spitup or formula this time, LOL. After I changed I went into the kitchen to get the diaper bag ready. Totally unexpected my Sweetie turns to me and comments on how much weight I have lost and that he can really tell. He went on to ask when I last wore this shirt and I had to admit that I was not sure but back when I worked at HighEnd, and that has been two years now. The shirt fits perfectly. Yay me.

So this mom thing is very wonderful. However, I have to admit that the fact that I was just humming along to the swing music is a little scary. But if it makes her coo, I will play it all day long.

Along the reunion front, I found out that three other classmates will be a part of the reunion committee and two people that I have been thinking a lot of lately. This should be a lot of fun. The neatest thing is that with all the old '95 people I have run into, all but one are married with kids. Perhaps I will find a playgroup for JuneBug. How does a small Texas town do a reunion? In a park with BBQ, of course.

Only 8 more working days off until going back to work. I need to get to organizing, but then there are books I need to read, lol. Not reading for so long because of school really sucked.

I am about to head out with my Sweetie and JuneBug for our walk. These walks are making me feel so good. I have felt so healthy today.

I hope everyone is feeling healthy and wonderful.

Spam??? and other daily nonsense

First, the post before this one, the one with the quiz, I moved it because of its size and I figure I would like a place to hold random facts.

However, the comments that were deleted were Spam. I can't believe it. I had no idea that I would have to worry about spamming on a blog. I want to keep my comments open, but I am sure I will get more "Microsoft sucks" comments and such. One even said my blog was "informative". What??? No, it is not. It is about my life and is nothing more than that. I am not out to inform anybody about anything, lol.

This morning I woke up with an almost migraine and feeling sick to my stomach. My Sweetie let me sleep in and took care of Bug. Shortly after I woke up DarkDiva called and said she was going to stop by. We had a short, but very nice visit. The girls were very good. Lilly and Violet even kissed my Bug. I can see in Bug's eyes that she wants to know how to "play" with these bigger girls.

Tonight we celebrated BestFriend's DH's 4.0. We had pizza and I even got a very healthy pizza - veggie with thin crust. After everyone left, my Sweetie, Bug, and I headed out for our walk - that makes three days in a row. YAY!

I know the reunion has motivated me a lot. Although I feel confident enough to walk in right now, a couple more pounds gone would not hurt anything, LOL. I received an e-mail back and it looks like I will be a part of the Reunion Committee. It should prove to be a lot of fun.

My headache is still here somewhat. BLAH.

I am giving in and starting book 6, everyone is dying for me to read it.

Until tomorrow.

Silly Quiz About Me and Sweetie

Edited - This post moved to another blog

Random Things About Missy

PopTarts

For my 17th b-day my Sweetie had a candle light table ready with poptarts and milk waiting for me as a surprise.

What makes me think of this? Someone on my Sweetie's game just commented on how they are eating poptarts. My Sweetie said that it sounded good and I am about to go for a poptart run for him. I think I might just be the best wife ever.

Checking In

I finally finished book 5 and now I can start on book 6.

Food wise I have been doing great. I am officially down 26 pounds from last year, YAY. My highest was on August 14, 2004. Last night my Sweetie and I went walking with our JuneBug for 30 minutes. We want to start a family walk several nights a week - we will see how this pans out.

We had the best dinner tonight. My Sweetie prepared some bacon wrapped filets and I prepared a wonderful salad with green onions, spinach, tomato, sugar snap peas, almond slivers, pieces of bacon, and lite dressing. Top it with a whole wheat roll and there is an awesome 9 point dinner. After our stomachs settled a little we went out for a walk. Two nights in a row. We did another 30 minutes and went further than yesterday. I love walking at night with my Sweetie and my JuneBug has done so well both nights.

After our walk I enjoyed a wonderful shower as my Sweetie fed JuneBug for her last meal of the night. Now I am all comfy in my night clothes and feeling great.

I go back to work soon. I am so excited. I will miss my Bug and Sweetie with all my being, but having to use my brain and getting out of the house and on a better schedule will be very nice. In the meantime I have two weeks to do some organizing of the house before I begin my CPA review, but nothing crazy.

We are celebrating on Wednesday or Thursday. BestFriend's DH got a 4.0 this semester. He took 9 hours in 5 weeks. Simply crazy. I am so proud of him.

What else should I chat about? I am sitting on my couch, my Sweetie is playing his game (I love that he plays it in the living room so he can be close to me and JuneBug), my Bob cat is next to me demanding attention since the tiny human who monopolizes my time is in her bassinet. Of course she just showed her ability to be slightly awake as I just saw a foot kick into view.

I most likely will post more tonight. I am in a communicating mood, but I don't want any post to be too long, lol.

Dancing, Freak, CPA, and Upcoming events

Last night DarkDiva had a late night pool party. We all dressed up, DarkDiva in a black corset, ballroom shirt, and opera gloves. I wore something much more comfortable and less glamorous, a nice sweater and skirt. We brought along some friends from Elgin and had a great time. My Sweetie had the best time swimming with Lilly and MotoDiva. Bug was so good throughout the party, she is so wonderful. The best part of the evening was after the belly dancing show started. It was very humid. Those of us who chose not to swim were very hot. At the shallow end of the pool there were about five or six water fountains that shot up from the ground for the kids to run through. I took my bug over to this area and we danced around the projectile water. It was refreshing simply being close. I would stick Bug’s feet into the water. She did not seem upset by this. We danced for a couple more songs and continued having a wonderful time. By this time, I was having so much fun and wanted to see how she would react totally wet. I held her tight and we ran under the water. OK, strike this up as another reason she questions my ability to keep her alive, LOL. She blinked a couple of times, looked around in an attempt to figure out why there was water on her face, and started to cry by sticking her lower lip out first. I hurried over and got her a towel, while giggling, of course. All was better as quickly as it went bad. It was a wonderful mommy moment, dancing in the water. My Mom took pictures of us, I hope they turn out, yes on regular film.

And something else funny happened. I was very “mommy” looking last night. I had the sensible shoes, summer sweater, and knee length black skirt. I was in DarkDiva’s bathroom while she was finishing getting ready, while at the same time urging Elgin friend to wear this very revealing dress. DarkDiva had a friend in from Dallas who I had never met and she was also in the bathroom with us. You know how girls are, LOL. Well, I started talking about Carnaval. This Dallas friend was SHOCKED. She turns to DarkDiva and says “Is she crazy when she isn’t a new mom”. DarkDiva smiled and said, “No, she is a freak all the time”. DarkDiva let out a little giggle. Last year this upcoming weekend was our camping trip. This was when DarkDiva and MotoDiva first found out that I am not as vanilla as I appear. I must admit, I truly enjoy the faces of shock when people find this out and I remember their faces that Saturday evening. Elgin friend also laughed and had to agree and brought up the New Year’s party going into 2002. That was quite a party. There was much alcohol consumed. And there is even a picture of me drinking a blow-job, you know the drink where you have your hands behind your back and you bend down to the drink, pick it up with your mouth, and throw your head back to drink it. Yes, I will have some ‘splaining to do when my JuneBug finds that picture, LOL.

I am feeling pretty good today. I am feeling confident for the reunion. My Sweetie and I talked about it a lot. We missed his reunion, we never received the invitation, but he does not want me to miss mine.

Upcoming events, my calendar never goes blank.

August 23 - Round Rock Express game – time for a ballpark hotdog.
August 28 – finish MotoDiva’s most recent movie
August 31 – go back to work
September 1 – JuneBug starts her daycare
September 17-18 – romantic weekend planned
September 30 – Niece’s b-day
October 1 – Carmina Burana
October 10 – JuneBug’s 4 month appointment – more shots and introduction of cereal to her diet
October 15 – Reunion
October 31 – Halloween (of course)
November 12 – my b-day and the countdown to 30 begins
November 24 – Thanksgiving
November 30 – BestFriend’s b-day and testing for CPA section 1

I don’t know if I am testing for one part or two with the CPA. But I will keep everyone updated with my stress level, LOL. Now it is time for me to try and finish that darn book five.

And the reunion is planned

The Class of '95 reunion is planned, October 15th.

I have 9 weeks.

Dreams, Weight, Running, and Montana

I love this picture, I know I am a horrible mom, but is this not the cutest?

Ever have a dream that causes you to wake up happy? Well, no that is not correct, not just an emotion, more of a realization. Let me try to explain. I had a dream this morning. It involved someone who wronged me, someone who was a dear friend of mine at the end of high school. The details of the dream, or why we are no longer friends are not important. However, the dream showed my acceptance of the past as a path to where we are today. Even that does not describe how I felt. It was a dream that opened my eyes to my own forgiveness. I thought I had forgiven. However, forgiveness is not black and white. It has many layers. Yes, I had gotten through the top few layers. However, this dream showed me that I have uncovered even more, thicker layers. The biggest aspect of this dream was that I was face to face with this person. I have not seen her in over 9 years, although we have e-mailed more recently. This was my first dream really face to face with her. What made me really stop and think was the lack of anger or emotion with this confrontation. I know it was only in a dream, but I felt a relief when I awoke.

The feeling of forgiveness is wonderful.

I was also running in this dream, this is a common theme in my dreams. I have researched this and the meaning of the dream depends on the effort of the running. Meaning if the running is hard and labored this means that you feel your life is out of control. However, if it was effortless, like in my dream, it means a successful feeling of life and a control of what is happening around you, like keeping up with everything. I am happy to say that all my running dreams are effortless.

Of course, a running dream makes sense with JuneBug and CPA. Also dreaming about past people makes sense. Since JuneBug’s arrival, actually conception, I have had a strong need and desire regarding my family and friends. This actually goes hand in hand with my self confidence. Feeling comfortable in my own skin and with who I am and the life I live makes me feel confident and able in my abilities to keep my family and friends close. It also gives me the ability to see the past, and those who wronged me and such, with different eyes, in an attempt to understand and come to the needed conclusion of forgiveness.

Another realization is that I really am comfortable in my skin. I am overweight, this is true. I have lost 24 pounds since last year at this time. However, during this time I had a beautiful baby girl and I have not had the feeling of “oh I need to lose XXX amount of weight in order to be happy for such and such event”. A BMI of over 30 is considered obese. While I believe the term implies someone much larger than me, the truth is that medically this is correct. I have 16 more pounds to lose before I am out of this category. I cannot wait. This is my first goal. I am following weight watchers to help me get healthy for my Sweetie and my JuneBug (although I have no medical issues other than my thyroid). Now I will not lie, I want to be as fit as possible for Carnaval. I am focusing on this as a goal. However, regardless of my weight, I know I will look awesome and have a great time. My Sweetie thinks I look great and that is all that matters.

I am feeling fantastic today. My JuneBug slept great only waking once during the night. I am so proud of her. This weekend is going to be filled with a party, cleaning the house for a maybe upcoming home appraisal, and enjoying my Sweetie and JuneBug.

I saw this quote today and really like it:
"If your ship has not yet come in, build a lighthouse." Rod Garcia

What I am listening to: Montana by Venus Hum. My Sweetie and I saw her in concert opening for The Blue Man Group two years ago this month.

And the cell phone rang!

:-)

The monkey ate the what?

Picture of the day: This is me the day my JuneBug arrived. Look at that belly.

No the title has no meaning. Titles are hard to generate.

I have gotten a bit spoiled the last few weeks. Having my Sweetie around 24/7 has been wonderful. I love waking up with him in the morning while taking care of JuneBug, having him fix me lunch, and being able to spend time with him throughout the day. It has been wonderful. I am looking forward to going back to work and starting back on my CPA review, but I will miss the lazy mornings and such.

Today we went to Suncoast and splurged on a movie we have been wanting for a long time. Kiki's Delivery Service. It is another Hayao Miyazaki movie. JuneBug was a little fussy so I held her through the mall and assured her that I would wake her if something interesting happened. I don't think she believed me. However, she did fall asleep.

Tonight we went to BestFriends. BestFriend's husband just finished a hard semester and we needed to celebrate. I was so awesome. We took food to save money vs. a restaurant. I only had 4 points left for the day. So I bought a lean cuisine and a bunch of veggies to steam. It was perfect, and I was stuffed. Yay to 5 days perfect on the plan. While I am not expecting perfection, I am happy for a good first week of actually following the program. Since I no longer have breastfeeding to help my weight loss, I must do it on my own. My Sweetie is so wonderful and telling me how awesome I am and how great I look. It does wonders for a girl's self esteem.

So I have to be an adult. I do, right? Ahhhhh come on, do I have to? OK fine. So, regarding the Motive half marathon I am thinking that I am most likely not going to participate this year. The main reason is my CPA review. I HAVE to test and pass one section before the end of the year. While this is not unheard of, I have a wonderful family that I want/need/long to spend time with. I plan on Studying 4 hours on the weekend, more if I want to sit for two sections. The training for a half marathon can be up to three hours during the LSD (long slow distance) walks. This is more time than I want to be away from my Sweetie and JuneBug. However, my Sweetie said if I want to do it, that he wants to do it with me. This eliminates part of the issue. We agreed to begin like we are training (low mileage in the beginning), see how we do, and decide closer to the race. The only issue is that the price raises the closer you get.

School starts around here next week. My niece is entering the 3rd grade. I can't believe she is getting so big. This is bittersweet for me. I am happy that I finished my MBA, but sad that I don't have school supplies to purchase. Luckily I have my CPA study to keep my brain ticking. Otherwise I might just be going crazy. And after all, I do need study supplies.....

I know it is TMI, but the addition of a new baby has not decreased our sex life but rather increased it. I know no one actually cares, but it is has been amazing since we got our clearance at 2 weeks. I know my self-esteem is one of the biggest causes. But a girl can't complain *enter amazingly happy and satisfied face here*.

It is calling to me!

I can't help it. It is in my blood. I feel the need to train, sweat, overcome injuries and seek success. I was never in sports. Walking is my sport. I am not the best at it, I am slow - but I finish what I start.

Last night I went to the Motive Bison Stampede website. It is Nov 20th. This year they are giving away medals. Oh I want that medal. Of course I have to remember those F&*^%*&G hills, lol. But I need a marathon this year. I did Motive in 2003, Motorola in 2004, and now I can have Motive in 2005. Plus I would love to see the weight loss with the training. My thyroid was broken when I trained before. And DarkDiva sent out the costumes for Carnaval. I have great motivation now as the costume is rather skimpy.

I have 15 weeks to train, totally doable. I would not have the best time, but I could complete it in the 4 hours needed. But I still worry about training and studying at the same time.

My Sweetie is so very supportive. He told me that if I decide to train for the Stampede, he is going to train and complete it with me. Isn't he the greatest?

This marathon is located only a couple of miles from my home, as well all proceeds from the event go to the Leukemia & Lymphoma society - one of my favorite charities.

Speaking of charities, we packed JuneBug up and took her to the Cystic Fibrosis office today. My Sweetie needed to speak with the director, and friend, about design work he does for them. The director needed to meet JuneBug. He even said we are welcome back anytime as long as we bring her. He could not say enough about her, simply amazed by her beauty. I did not complain. Anyone can oogle my baby :-)

Now I must set in a plan of attack if I want to sit for the first part of the CPA as well as walk a half marathon. Let me introduce you to the Anal Missy.

Doctor's appointment and a wonderful evening

Yesterday was my JuneBug's 2 month appointment. She is now 22", 9.5lbs, and considered very healthy. Yes, she got her shots. And she cried. I think I did worse than she did. We came home, gave her the tylenol and she went to sleep. Sounds perfect doesn't it? It has been 24 hours since the appointment and she has yet to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. The good news is that she has not been overly cranky, just waking up a lot.

Even with the off sleep schedule, we had a great evening. We ate a great dinner and settled onto the couches and spent the evening reading. It was wonderful. After getting JuneBug back to sleep at one point, we were commenting on how we are so lucky to have her and how we cannot believe she is ours. My husband said "It is like Christmas everyday!". I cannot imagine life without her. She is everything to us, and she is only 9 weeks old.

My Sweetie is dropping off portfolios as I compose this post. They look amazing. He is so talented. Even with being out of work, he has been in such better spirits (and he wasn't even in that bad of spirits to begin with) since leaving UT system. I am so proud of him.

As far as eating I have been spot on for two days, Sunday and Monday, and am doing really good today. I am using the current Flex plan and changing it only slightly to make it like the plan I lost my weight on in 1997.

Happy 2 Months Baby Girl!

Today my JuneBug is 2 months. I can't believe that it has been 2 months, the time has flown. Of course being at home, strange sleep schedules, and adjusting to life will do that. She is so much bigger than when I met her. I still cannot believe she is mine. My Sweetie and I are amazed by her daily. We are so happy that she is our's and so happy as parents. The photo on the right is JuneBug tonight in her bassinet. The one on the left is when she came home from the hospital. She is wearing the same hat in each. Sorry for the poor quality on the right. She has gotten so BIG!

Tomorrow marks a big day. She has her 2 month appointment. This is also marked with shots - I think this will be harder on my Sweetie than JuneBug.

This weekend was so much fun. Saturday was the party. My Sweetie, MIL, Niece, SIL's boyfriend, MotoDiva's DH (yes, they are working things out), and MotoDiva's DD all climbed the rock walls for an hour. BestFriend and her DH played pool and helped entertain Mom who was watching JuneBug. Then MotoDiva's DH and DD, DarkDiva's DH, SIL and her boyfriend, and my Sweetie and me all played laser tag. It was so much fun. Next thing we knew it was time for the after party.



My Sweetie and I rarely drink - although our bar would make people think differently, but the alcohol is very old. My Sweetie got TRASHED, as you can tell from the bottom photo!!! He is so funny drunk, very contemplative, rambles greatly, and is very set on expressing his feelings about our relationship and explaining how I am his life and how he dedicates everyday to being the man I deserve. Don't we look cute in the picture here? Being the sober one, although I did enjoy a few, I enjoyed this side of my Sweetie. And today he wasn't hurting too badly - nothing that some food and water couldn't cure.


I feel great and journaled my food intake today like a good girl. I feel so focused and in control right now. And although it is not as purple as I wanted, everyone seems to like my hair - yay.

Back to Weight Watchers

First, today was wonderful. We spent the morning relaxing and discussing the tattoos that we want. He loved my gift, a Think Different Poster

We packed up JuneBug and headed to the tattoo shop. We did not actually get any ink applied, but we talked with the artist and know what we want. Now it is just a matter of when.

After dinner with the family, I am here at my computer while my Sweetie plays his game. We had such a great day and I am feeling good.

Several people I know have rejoined Weight Watchers (WW) recently. This had me thinking that I should as well. Since the on-line version is cheaper, I decided to join.

Now this is the best part. I used my same login as before and they kept my old weigh ins. This is from 8/14/04, which is perfect. This shows my prepregnancy weight, my highest, as well as my weight when I got pregnant. I added all my weigh ins during pregnancy through this past Saturday. I consider my weight loss from my highest before pregnancy so I wanted to be able to see the numbers from last summer and such. Well, I pressed submit and my chart updated to show 23 pounds lost and my 10% loss obtained. This feels great. I am so motivated now. Of course, I am not going to start really watching everything until Sunday and I get a chance to go to the store, not to mention my Sweetie's party on Saturday. But I feel that it is a big step.

My first focus will be exercise and journaling my food intake. After I see how that works, I will start reducing my food intake. Bottom line is that I have 20 until I am at my first goal, and an overall 50 to lose. I can do this. With a husband who helps me build my confidence daily, I can do anything.

On a side note, I started reading the 5th book (not the newest one) on Sunday. I know it has been out for two years, but I was in the MBA program and busy reading other things. However, the problem is that I have not been working on my 30-days book because of Harry.

It is time to juggle.

Happy Birthday Sweetie!!!

Happy 30th Baby!!! You are the most awesome man in the world. Thank you for being my everything.

My Sweetie is in Business

It is official, you can purchase Specks items at Cafe Press.

Poor Cranky Bug

Yesterday marked 8 weeks since my JuneBug's arrival.

The day started with a cranky Bug during the night. She cried during the night, this almost never happens, she normally saves her screaming moments for the daytime. She even skipped a meal even though she woke up during the night. This set us up for a hard day. Lately she has been eating small amounts throughout the day. She was up to three oz at time with sometimes four. Lately she has been doing two and sometimes three - with eating more often.

Yesterday, she would nap for about 10 minutes, wake up crying and refuse to eat. Each time she fell asleep we hoped it would be for longer - but no. I needed to get out of the house and my Sweetie needed to drop a receipt off at MIL's work. I hoped the car ride would help JuneBug find a deep sleep. She could not sleep deeply while at MotoDiva's on Saturday either. The nice thing about Saturday was that when we got home we all ended up going to sleep for the night (other than waking up for feedings and such) and it was only 8:00. So we headed out. She was not happy about the car ride and proceeded to cry. She finally fell asleep as we made the exit for MIL's work. Due to our day with her, we didn't want to jink anything and my Sweetie ran inside while I stayed in the car with JuneBug.

The next step was my work. We hoped that the 20 minute drive would do Bug good. I had to go yesterday because I could no longer log in from home. It is great to get a message "your password has expired, please change it before loggin in". This means I have to go into work to change my password. The close to 30 minute nap was good for Bug. She woke up and even ate some when we arrived at my work.

Everyone was so happy to see us. It was their first chance to meet her. They all commented on her hair. The best part was all the compliments that I received. They all said that I look so good and that it looked like I was thinner than before getting pregnant. My Sweetie, who was holding JuneBug, smiled so big and said "she is, pregnancy is a great weight loss tool for her." Of course that led into saying I should have more babies to lose more weight, lol. So I went to my Cubicle to change my password. Several co-workers followed, of course. Within a minute of being in my cube my JuneBug started crying again. My Sweetie was so good and stepped out into the hallway to calm her down. The best part? The network was down, so I didn't even get to change my password. My Sweetie calmed her down and came back for my boss to meet her. They were impressed. I told everyone that I will see them at the end of the month.

We were able to eat a quick lunch and then got JuneBug home. She did not go back to sleep until 10:00. Until then she cried almost constantly and did not eat much. She woke up at 11, ate two oz and went to sleep for the night, over 4 hours even. Overall she only ate 80% of her normal intake.

Today has been much better.

Oh good news. We called the daycare on Monday to check in on the status of our application and such. The school we want has two openings - YAY. Not only that, she is going into the room we wanted. She will be a River Otter. This is the room I think she will love. Both would be good, but this one has more sunshine

Feeling Great

I am feeling great. I have been for days now. Saturday we packed up JuneBug and headed to MotoDiva to help her make a movie. This is for her to practice since she will be applying for the MFA program in film at UT. For the movie (I actually have a speaking part, scary) we needed three changes of clothing. She wanted business like clothing. I worried about this. While I know I weigh less I do not feel like I am smaller. Don't get me wrong, the lower the number on the scale has made me feel great. I have a favorite pair of black slacks. I tried them on 2 weeks after my JuneBug's arrival and they did not fit. I did not let this get to me. While I was deciding what to wear for the movie I knew I needed these pants. I figured I could wear a long shirt over to cover the too tight hips and belly.

I tried them on..... and they fit. I was happy. Then I remembered that they were too tight when I got pregnant. This made me feel great. I have been wearing more fitted t-shirts and such. One I bought before my 2003 b-day. I never wore it because I did not think that it fit correctly. I wore it on Friday. I knew I was a little smaller, but I thought it also went with my growing self confidence. After trying on the pants, I knew something else was going on, and it was good.

This morning I decided to measure myself. I have not done this since I was pregnant and wanted to see how my body was changing. The results were WONDERFUl. I am 21 pounds lighter, 1.5" smaller around my waist, 2" smaller around my hips, 1" smaller around each upper arm, 1" smaller below my breasts, 1" smaller around each thigh, and 1" smaller around each calf. Overall, I am a complete size smaller than when I got pregnant. This is fantastic. I feel wonderful. My high school reunion is still not planned. However, if I found out it was going to be tomorrow, I would go very proud.

I tell you, DarkDiva is correct, the best weight loss tool is being madly in love. I can't wait to see the changes in August when I actually start watching what I eat and make sure to exercise more.