Monday, July 31, 2006

Should be

Let's play a game - the "should be" game. I should be cleaning for Sweetie's party on Friday. I should be working out. I should be reading my book for Thursday's book club meeting.

But I have not blogged in so long. And I know there are people DYING to know about my life. So I have to shift my priorities.

~Bug has 6 - almost 7 teeth
~As of right now, if CPA firm offers, I am saying no.
~Sweetie's b-day is Friday and I am taking the day off.
~I registered for classes - to defer my loans.
~One of the classes is Principles of Accounting.
~I hope to start studying for one section of CPA soon.
~My boss's last day was today *BIG GRIN*

Ok I really need to read the book, I will try to post more tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Swimming with the fishes

OMG I am still laughing.

Sweetie is working late tonight. It is just Bug and me. Starting last week we have been giving her her freedom. We let her play in her room without us being in there. We let her walk around the house,but not in our room - too many things she can get hurt with. So there is a gate into our hallway.

She has walked all over the place tonight.

I know she walked into her bathroom - she is obsessed with the toilet and toilet paper. I knew we were currently out of toilet paper, I finished the roll myself when we got home, so I let her do her thing while carefully listening, of course. I heard nothing, so I thought nothing of it.

Well, I had to use the powder room. So I grabbed the new roll and told Bug to come with me. I wish I didn't have to go as badly as I did. Or else you would see what I experienced.

I found in the toilet......

TWO GOLDFISH. The cracker mind you, but this cracked me up. She snacks while she walks around and plays, my mom calls it her grazing. She must have had two of the goldfish that I gave her - always two at a time as she has two hands you know. She then took them to the bathroom and put them in the toilet.

Note to self, make sure keys are at a high level at all times.

So I flushed the fish.

Cracks me up.

Also when I picked her up from school a teacher I had never met said "she looks just like you". I smiled. We get about half and half of people saying that she looks like me or Sweetie. Then as I was leaving Bug's best friend's mom (yes they are best friends) asked if we cut her hair. When I said no, she said "there is something different about her, she looks just like you today". My Bug!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Night ramblings

I feel very emotional today. Nothing bad caused it, just overly aware of emotions. I know a lot of it is my upcoming decision. I won't bore you with my pros and cons list. But it is a very important decision that I hope that I do not make incorrectly.

I feel distant from some of my friends. I know that part of this is that I pushed some away when I found out about my Graves'. It sucks. But I will pop my head back into their lives and get the closeness back. I just hate it when I do this. I know they understand.

I am sitting in a dark room. The only light coming from the TV and computer. Sweetie and Bug sleep next to me. While I write, I enjoy a chai tea - phase one even. mmmm life is good. I planned to do some cleaning and exercise tonight. That didn't happen as the lack of sleep from the weekend caught up to all three of us and we found ourselves taking a nap after dinner.

And while today was not phase one, it was MUCH better than my recent eating. That makes me feel good. I have to focus on being healthy as a lifestyle choice. It is not a case of "on plan" or "off plan". The scale does not rule all success.

Come on 30, I am going to totally rock.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Play Ball

Tonight we went to dinner with SIL, FBIL (future BIL), Niece, and Bug’s Great Grandpa to celebrate MIL’s b-day. Family is an awesome thing. We had a great time and really made me appreciate living so close to both sides of our family.

So the whole CPA job. BestFriend and Mom are worried about the stress level. The fact that they would push for me to finish my CPA is a pro and con. Part of me wants to postpone the CPA for longer and just focus on enjoying Bug and being healthy. Not meaning staying home, but trying to make my current situation work. I had a good week at work. I got a lot done and part of that is because of my boss being out. This gives me hope.

But enough about that. I have until the 1st to make a decision.

Last night’s stitch-n-bitch was a lot of fun. Sweetie is too good to me. He told me that I can do that kind of thing whenever I want. Well, I don’t know about that, but a couple of times a month is very nice. The funny thing about last night was that we had six women there who are all in different stages/situations in life. We had a widowed grandmother, married with no kids, married with multiple kids, married with first child, marriage ending with one kid, and newlywed cancer patient. It just goes to show that everyone needs a break from reality and interaction with friends.

I want to play Kickball. HowieMaui just sent me a story on leagues forming for adults to play kickball after work once a week for stress relief. That sounds like fun.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Booth Babe

Today I worked at the Dell Community Fair. They had an area set up with booths of local non-profits. This was our third day there, my first. The first hour I was there with another co-worker. The second I was alone. During the second hour, I received 8 people wanting more information on our programs. Plus I gave out a ton of literature. I got more results in my hour than in the pervious 5 combined. I spoke with knowledge and confidence – I don’t think I have ever done that. No “uhm”s, no “and like”s, and I spoke with a passion.

DAMNIT!

Why do I have to be good at that? Why did I have to have this day of knowledge and power, of feeling like I knew what I was talking about?

Yesterday, I received a response from the CPA firm. They said that they have been busy and out of the office. I understand. They are still interested in me and hope to have a final decision by 8/1.

So I have to make up my mind. The interesting thing is that my boss’s last day is 7/31. This means, if I choose to go, that I would not be giving notice to her. And while this has been the case since my boss gave her notice, it is even more so now, I cannot have her in my decision making equation.

Now I have no idea what the environment is like at the CPA firm. But I have no idea what the environment will be like here with a new ED. I feel like either way I am starting a new job.

This is a very hard decision. Part time CPA work is rare (I could finish my CPA faster). But so is a full time job with only 35 hours a week and 4 weeks off a year.

If only this job paid more.

So I have to brag on my Sweetie for a minute. Every morning, I drop him off at work. He gets his bag from the back seat and comes to my window and kisses me. There was a car next to us on my side. So he kissed me. Waited a second, kissed me again, and said that was because he couldn’t walk around. Too cute. Then Tuesday night he had to work late. He went into the office after we had dinner. He was not very late and I was chatting with him while he was at work. He came home, kissed me, and went to the computer room to finish what needed to be done for the next morning. I thought nothing of it. He came back a minute later and snuggled in on the couch with me. He told me that he wanted to spend some time with me before working. Then last night I went to bed first, to read my book for the bookclub and get ready for bed. When I decided I had enough of the reading, put away my book, and turned off my light, I hear our word that we use to mean “I love you more than life” from the living room. I had said nothing and Sweetie was playing his game. I ask why he said that and he said “I heard noises that mean you are going to sleep now.” Oh I love him. It is the little things.

Tonight is the stitch-n-bitch. We should have fun. I will take my knitting and see how far I get. Probably more bitching. HS Cancer friend will be there. I have a ton of information to give her.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate making decisions? Well, I do.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Reality Check

Last night we went on our date. It was a great date. We had sushi - yummy yummy. Sweetie had Sake. We went to see The Lakehouse. The theater started showing up Superman. It was quite funny. We had to have someone go out and tell management that the wrong movie was showing. We had a wonderful time.

Then today I receive a reality check. I found out today that a friend from HS has Hodgkin's - a form of Lymphoma. She and I never hung out outside of school, but we were friends through photography and yearbook. I saw her a couple of times around town over the years and we always did the "how are you?" comments. I really liked her. Well HS friend S is bringing her to the Stitch-n-bitch on Thursday. I am so happy to see her again. She was only diagnosed at the end of June. So she is very new in her journey of kicking cancer's ass. The good news is that Hodgkin's has a very high rate of survival.

So let's make this about me. Just when I am truly thinking of trying to find a new job, reality hits. Someone that I know, someone I can relate to, comes up with a disease that my organization is fighting to end. I want to make sure that she knows everything that we can do for her, support groups and financial aid. She might already know. The real reality check is that I might have already entered her into our database. I know I entered someone by her first name and age.

It is just so close to home. And to be honest, I think that is a reason I have been looking for work. For a few months, I have been entering the patient aid at work. I have been very "close" to our patients. I have received several calls from family about their children or parents being at the end of their journey. The hardest was two weeks ago. A girl who was very active in the society came to the end. She was 15 and knew what this meant. She spent her last days creating artwork that could sell in support of our research. She was amazing. Such a wonderful story. The survival rate is over 80%. But the 20% kills me. When I get a call about our legal name from a 4 year old's lawyer as she is in her last weeks of life, I want to run and hug my Bug and never stop.

I could never be a social worker, a doctor, or anyone of the sort. I am not built like that. I take things very personally. So I think a big part of this job search is wanting to go back to my corporate life, where I can look at numbers and spreadsheets. Where my work life and home life are drastically different.

So now the question is, now that I know someone going through this disease, will it make me want to stay or run faster?

Saturday, July 15, 2006

nap time

I have a sleeping Bug on me. We had a rough night last night. She is sick. Not sure with what, but she is. I hate being a working mom sometimes. Not sure about our date tonight. It will all depend on Bug.

Sweetie made us all breakfast this morning. Making breakfast is his "thing". Brown Sugar Pancakes and they were so very yummy. As he cooked, I chased Bug, she was feeling much better from the night before.

One thing I need to keep in mind with this whole "get healthy plan", even with my recent weight gain due to my meds, I am still 20 pounds less than I was at this point last year. And that my friend is still progress.

Tomorrow, I start the workout plan. Suprisingly, with my b-day only 17 weeks away, I do not have a crazy unrealistic workout planned. My plan is to move my body 5-6 times a week. I think that also goes with my lack of crazy unrealistic weight loss goals for my b-day. I have one goal that I am aiming for, to be considered a healthy weight. I have not been considered a healthy weight since late 1999/early 2000.

Then there is the diet. I say that I am starting phase one. However, I am not going to be crazy strict about it. MIL's b-day is during the 14 days involved with phase one. I am still going to eat a piece of the cake that I make her. My real immediate goal is to feel a bit healthier for Sweetie's b-day. There are two weeks from MIL's to Sweetie's b-day.

Somebody is waking up. I have to get her some milk.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Thursday Thirteen

Our family walk did not happen. We came home and put on Finding Nemo while we ate dinner. Shortly after eating, Bug fell asleep. Now what happens when a Bug falls asleep on you? You fall asleep too. I mean we both passed out. Sweetie finished the movie and played on his computer. But Bug and I slept like it was night time - well it was for her. I am back awake now hoping that I did not screw up my sleeping schedule and can sleep tonight. So no walk. But really good sleep.

Mamma Bee and Summer Girl participate in this thing called Thursday Thirteen. I think I will give it a try.


Thirteen Things about Getting Healthier


1. With my thyroid levels normal, I want to focus on being healthier.

2. I know that I need to eat better. My problem is that I am either eating really healthy or crap. There is no in between.

3. I am hoping that if I could feel how eating healthier can make me, well feel, that I would want to do it without needing to be "on plan".

4. I am starting Phase One of South Beach again on Monday. Not sure if I will do the full 14 days. I am aiming for during the week at least.

5. The weekends are the hardest. Honestly, if I could eat closer to Phase Two (more fruits and whole grains) on the weekends and a Phase one day or two during the week, I think I could do this.

6. And then there is exercise.

7. I used to exercise in the morning before getting ready for work. I really liked that time of day.

8. But at 6am I normally have a baby in my arms. I love snuggling her. How do I leave that to exercise?

9. See, this is why I need to get this as a routine before adding more stress to my life.

10. Once I get my butt up, the 6am thing would be best. I could workout and spend one hour for just me. I could walk and do Yourself Fitness. I have been wanting a good workout. To feel my body move.

11. I gave myself this week off to finish getting over that strep, I am still on the antibiotics. But come this weekend, I have to do something.

12. I need to stay away from the vast amount of chocolate in the office. Who knew such athletic people would have so much candy around.

13. Birthday is in just over 17 weeks. 17 weeks until 30. I can make my goal, I just need to be healthy. And give up the numbers. If I am eating healthy and exercising the majority of the week - and it is a habit by my birthday - isn't that meeting my goal of being healthier?

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, IÂ’ll add you here!)



Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!




pee pee dance

On our vacation Sweetie and I were going to have a date night. However, we didn’t want to stop the fun of the day with the grandmas and Bug. This means that we need a date. Sweetie came up with the idea for one this weekend. He has planned for us to go to dinner and a movie (The Lake House). He even picked the movie. I also want to do something else as a surprise so I cannot blog about it. No, it is nothing sexual. But he sometimes reads my blog and I don’t want it ruined.

I am so excited about this. We have not had any time alone, other than getting ready for bed at night, in some time. So we will celebrate my levels and my upcoming attempt of phase one.

Work has been pretty good this week. I am just trudging along. Actually, I am trying to make it a job I love, in case this is where I am supposed to be.

It is all about perspective.

But I have to get off my butt. We have a family walk planned after dinner. Hope we do it. There is a cute little park that I would like to walk to for Bug. That and Sweetie and I have always used walks as a time to chat. And that is always good.

Mom’s b-day was this past weekend. We had a relaxing time and hung out at her house eating the cake I made, and it was good. This is a very busy birthday season. First is Bug, then Mom, the 21st is MIL, and Sweetie’s is Aug 4th. I have to figure out what to do for a Man who will officially be 30-something.

Even if the CPA firm calls, I think I am only testing for a max of two sections before my b-day. I need to pass, not stress myself out. And I really want a routine for my housework, eating, and exercise before I add in studying again. So not postponing, just changing goals. I would rather have one section passed than to sit and fail all four.

I have had so much water today. I am a very good water drinker. Even when I am being “bad” I will get my water in. So that is not new. But today, man I have been peeing all the time. The bad part is that I have to put the phone on night-right and leave the office. There is a community bathroom for the entire building’s floor. Which is not bad, but means there is much further to walk.

I will close as I run to the potty, yet again.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

results

I got my blood test results this morning.

Drum roll please.....

For my Free T4 (normal is .73-1.95), I started with a 2.29 on 3/8. Currently it is .98. NORMAL!!!

For my Free T3 (normal is 2.3-4.2), I started with a 7.3 on 3/8. Currently it is 2.8. NORMAL!!!

For my Ultrasensative TSH (normal is .300-5.1, with this one if you are below the .3 you are hyper and if you are above the 5.1 you are hypo), I started with .024 on 3/8. Currently it is .906. NORMAL!!! This is the chemical that normally takes the longest to get into a normal range. Four months on the meds and I have it on track.

I go back in two months. I am hoping to need a reduction in my medication at that time.

I feel great today. I feel like someone told me great news, like I got a job or something. I had no idea having normal levels would make me feel so good. I have not had a normal thyroid test since right after having Bug.

The medication is working. Normal levels. This means that while I still have Graves', I am not currently Hyper. YAY.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

poptarts

Chocolate poptarts. Even though I would eat them at home as a kid, they always remind me of Grandma and Grandpa’s house. They would by them special when I stayed over.

Sweetie just wrote to me that he wants a date with me with a movie and dinner. I love that.

Gave more blood today. Time to test my levels again. I should know something tomorrow.

I am giving South Beach another try. From everything I have read, this kind of eating is the best for thyroid issues. HowieMaui is going to do it with me. Wish me luck. I will be finishing phase one just before Sweetie’s b-day.

My favorite kick-ass cancer survivor is coming to Austin tomorrow. I do not think I will make it. I know I am no longer contagious, I am just so afraid to get her sick. She posted recently that she thanked someone wearing a blood donation T-shirt. The woman was so moved that she cried. I love it. I cannot wait until I can give blood again. I can be on my meds and give blood. However, the meds have to have me in a normal range with my levels. But once they are, no holding me back, I am even getting on the bone marrow registry.

And now, it is two minutes until I go and get my sweet girl and spend a fun evening doing something, well, fun.

Monday, July 10, 2006

And so we eat Nilla Waffers

Only 10 more working days with my boss. I have this week, she is off next week, and the last week in July is her last week.

Lord help me to not kill her.

No word from CPA firm, so I am going to look elsewhere for work. All I want, which is a lot, is a job I love. That way being away from Bug might be a bit easier.

Now I just need to get to feeling good enough to workout. I am feeling 100% better from Friday, but not yet feeling great.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Not Contagious

I have been on my meds for the needed 24 hours in order to no longer be considered contagious.

While I still feel a bit of a sore throat and am tired, I am feeling so much better. I was feeling so bad yesterday.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Strep

I have strep. I will be contagious until tomorrow at 1pm.

I have antibotics and the good cough syrup.

That is all.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Home Again

We are home. We did not get home until 7:30 last night due to missing our flight. But I am not getting into that, as I want this to be a happy post. All I have to say is that American Airlines sucks.

The trip was amazing. We have 689 photos from our digital camera and several rolls of film to develop. I am so lucky to have a family that I can spend a week with - 24 hours a day - and not want to kill any of them. We saw the SanDiego coast, SanDiego Zoo, Down Town Disney, Disney Land, and California Adventure. During our trip we saw polar bears, a talking trash can, a scary plastic bag, and Goofy. We experienced being stuck in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride during the most annoying part, the "pirate life for me" part with the burning building and all the drunk pirates singing. It got annoying. Bug got restless, but she hung in there. We even got my Mom on a Rollercoaster, her first. And Bug was so good!!! She was a little trooper with the plane rides, car rides, waiting in line, the heat, the rides she rode on, and all the people.

The trip was so much fun and with six days of excitement, there is no way that I could possibly blog about all of the fun.

We came home to burgers and hotdogs. My brother told me before I left that he was going to make sure that we did not have to do anything for the 4th. He had hotdogs, burgers, watermelon, and sodas all ready to eat. My brother and SIL are amazing. We ate and set off fireworks. It was a very nice celebration, even if we did get home later than expected.

I was to return to work today, but I was feeling less than wonderful and wanted to give Bug a half way normal day before returning to school. So, we slept. That was so nice.

San Diego Coast.
Bug riding her first ride at the Zoo.
Bug dancing to the blues in Downtown Disney.
Me and the Castle.

Bug playing with a fountain in California Adventure.

Where I am applying. Great location too, Main Street.

Bug at LAX waiting for our flight.

Now I must get ready for bed. I have to go to work tomorrow - ugh.