Reality Check

Last night we went on our date. It was a great date. We had sushi - yummy yummy. Sweetie had Sake. We went to see The Lakehouse. The theater started showing up Superman. It was quite funny. We had to have someone go out and tell management that the wrong movie was showing. We had a wonderful time.

Then today I receive a reality check. I found out today that a friend from HS has Hodgkin's - a form of Lymphoma. She and I never hung out outside of school, but we were friends through photography and yearbook. I saw her a couple of times around town over the years and we always did the "how are you?" comments. I really liked her. Well HS friend S is bringing her to the Stitch-n-bitch on Thursday. I am so happy to see her again. She was only diagnosed at the end of June. So she is very new in her journey of kicking cancer's ass. The good news is that Hodgkin's has a very high rate of survival.

So let's make this about me. Just when I am truly thinking of trying to find a new job, reality hits. Someone that I know, someone I can relate to, comes up with a disease that my organization is fighting to end. I want to make sure that she knows everything that we can do for her, support groups and financial aid. She might already know. The real reality check is that I might have already entered her into our database. I know I entered someone by her first name and age.

It is just so close to home. And to be honest, I think that is a reason I have been looking for work. For a few months, I have been entering the patient aid at work. I have been very "close" to our patients. I have received several calls from family about their children or parents being at the end of their journey. The hardest was two weeks ago. A girl who was very active in the society came to the end. She was 15 and knew what this meant. She spent her last days creating artwork that could sell in support of our research. She was amazing. Such a wonderful story. The survival rate is over 80%. But the 20% kills me. When I get a call about our legal name from a 4 year old's lawyer as she is in her last weeks of life, I want to run and hug my Bug and never stop.

I could never be a social worker, a doctor, or anyone of the sort. I am not built like that. I take things very personally. So I think a big part of this job search is wanting to go back to my corporate life, where I can look at numbers and spreadsheets. Where my work life and home life are drastically different.

So now the question is, now that I know someone going through this disease, will it make me want to stay or run faster?