So much has been going on. Last week began my B-day celebration. Wednesday night Sweetie took me to see Sarah McLachlan at the Austin Music Hall. It was awesome, fantastic, beautiful, inspiring. I left feeling better - having been home from work the two days before with Strep. My soul was reset and my mind refocused. The venue was perfect and intimate, but don't get me started on the seating issue we had, it all worked out so I am not focusing on that. I adore that Sweetie and I do things like this. Unfortunately, it was a work night so we didn't have a chance to do anything other than the concert itself.
Then on Friday I took my mom to see Rent at the Zachary Scott theater. We loved the movie but never got a chance to see the play. It was jaw dropping awesome. We had the first row so the actors were right in front of us as they used the stage as well as the floor in front of the stage. They collected funds at the end for AIDS services of Austin. This was very smart as we gave deeply after seeing such a performance. I love seeing live performances. I appreciate the talent and the guts to do it in front of everyone.
Tomorrow is my actual birthday. I love birthdays and I am excited to turn 34. The only problem is that I have a horrible time asking for presents. There truly isn't much that I want. Well, within a reasonable range for a b-day gift. All I truly want is time with people that I love.
I am already in the holiday spirit. It came early for me this year. I don't know if it is because of L, my self confidence, or simply because. But I love it. Last night Bug and I got her hair cut and wandered into Hallmark to get some Christmasy things. We can't start singing or decorating yet. Bug knows that the holiday season begins after my b-day. So I assume on Saturday she is going to have us all festive singing carols and decorating.
Now this is not going to distract me from my weight loss efforts. I am down 35 pounds and really hitting the point where everyone is noticing. I won the weight loss challenge at work - cha ching. I started another challenge here, to not gain weight over the season. I know I can do this. My whole focus with this new lifestyle is to not deprive myself, I say this as I am eating a frosty :-), but to only indulge with things I truly love. Tomorrow night we are going to Outback. I don't plan to be perfect for my b-day, but I didn't want to ruin anything either, so I started looking up the points. Man oh man those are high. I would eat the half ribs with a sweet potato - that is 34 points, I only get 21 a day.
My favorite thing about the loss, underwear. I have many sizes of underwear. When I was heavier I would be behind on the laundry and grab a pair out of the lower regions of my drawer - they would be too small - crap. Well, last week I put a pair on and started getting ready for work. I looked down and thought "wait what size are these, I haven't worn them in some time". Sure enough they were the smaller size in my drawer that would depress me only 4 months before. I am also having this discovery with my bras. Only it isn't only the band that is smaller, poor Sweetie I always lose in the boob first, lol.
I have to admit though, people noticing the loss is really keeping me good. It feels really good for a coworker who hasn't seen me in a month to say "wow, you have been doing good, look at the loss in your face". I know that I am getting closer every day to being the healthy mom that I want to be. And since I am not losing fast, I know that my chances of keeping it off are greatly increased.
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Two weeks into me
I am happy to say that I have followed WW for two weeks. I have been counting points, exercising (ok only three times, but still), and thinking about what I need to fuel me. I have not given up eating out, though we do need to eat at home more, and I have not felt deprived - yet..and I will cope when that comes. So why the change? The challenge at work has helped motivate me, I do not want to pay the money. But also I hit a point where I got so sick of it, that I have to take care of it. Does that make sense? So I decided on the 26 in 16 plan. And Sweetie was so supportive that he started tracking his too. We both are doing the same workout plan, though he is way ahead of me and actually runs while I walk, but it is still something we are both doing. He only has 10 pounds to lose, but I hope this support continues even after he hits his goal. He wants to run a half if not a full marathon in 2011. I know he can do it. If I can complete a half so can he.
The other change is really thinking about the health risks with my weight. How I see myself, even in the mirror is not accurate. It isn't until I see a photo or catch a glimpse of myself when I am not looking that I realize the truth. And the truth is that I need to be healthier. And while I have been dancing with the idea of getting back on the wagon with WW, I kept having this voice in my head saying "I will do it, but I will do xxx instead because I know better". Uhm....yeah. I know I lost before my wedding and that the program works. But obviously I need some help as it didn't help me through emotional hard times, working while going to school, and health issues. And while others who love me will argue, the truth is that I am considered type 2 obese. There are only 3 types, and type 3 is morbid. This is a medical issue. And with my thyroid being the way it is and making weight loss hard, as well as so many other things, I have to be better. I am lucky, my cholesterol, triglycerides, and blood sugar are great. But I can't rely on that. If I were diabetic, I would change my lifestyle and treat the disease. Obesity is a disease. While it is different, it is still a medical situation. I needed to treat it as such.
My other battle is body image. When I got married I was 117 pounds. I looked great. I worse a size 3. But I saw myself as fat. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and bitch slap that version of me. I know that I need to work on me as well. And that is a big reason why I am not doing a crash diet, weight loss surgery (luckily I don't qualify), or anything else drastic. I need this to take some time. I need to feel each stage of my body changing. I need to feel stronger and healthier.
When I walk, I walk alone. When I did Team in Training, I had a team and walked with them one day a week. That was fun. However, my training walks, less a few that Sweetie would walk with me, were alone. When I walked the 18 miles, I did it alone, and without music. Many have offered to walk with me. I appreciate the gesture, but know that my walking is therapy. Yesterday on my walk I went through a lot of internal stuff. (Yes more inside me talk, but is is my little part of the internet)
Over the years I have had several blows, situations, and stresses that took their toll. I like to say that I am better. And while I am, I am not 100% yet. I know I will get there as long as I keep looking inward. My point is it truly hit me how the events in my life have had an impact on how I see myself. How I do not see myself as an attractive, fun loving woman. I see myself as a wife, a mother, an employee. I do not see me. My clothing has been to cover me, but not to make me feel cute. My hair is the same way. I know I like to have my sunshine face on, and it isn't a facade, just more like just not the whole story. I feel like a prisoner in my body. And in turn this has also come through in the disorganization of my home. How I got to this point is not important. The important thing is to refind me. To take back control.
Now I am not talking about leaving my family to live in a village or anything. I just need to work on me. I need to make a conscious effort to do things for me, even if it is something silly like taking a walk or study. It was a true ah ha moment. If it were a cheesy girl chick flick, you would see me walking and then a montage of my past. I then would realize what I needed to do, and instantly feel sexy and cute and run to the airport to tell the man I love not to leave or some other blah blah blah. Well, while I love a good romantic comedy, that is not my life. Instead it is more like the montage went off in my head and I felt honestly like someone took a blow to me. I don't have to go and find my love, I have him here. Sweetie knew something was wrong and I couldn't quite put it into words. Part of me felt like things that I have worked through and dealt with were coming back. But then I realized that was not the case. Rather, it was the next step. It was like in the half marathon when I was walking for hours and felt so tired and salty and I could see the end. I wasn't done with the work, but I could see the finish. All my hard work was paying off. That is where I am, not at the end, but I can see it, I know it is there, I just have this last hurdle to overcome.
This weight loss kick, exercise, and studying again, all goes hand in hand. It all goes to help me. Yes, it will help my family but only on a secondary level. I am sure none of this makes sense. But it is good for me to write about it. This moment that I write about, it was kind of scary for me. I feared that I was going to enter a deep depression, like that of '06. I wasn't sure I could fight it if it took hold. If you have never dealt with depression, you do not know of the monster that it is and how it is much like an alter ego in some respects that takes over. I took it in, almost waiting to be pulled down. But it didn't happen. Instead I kept swimming. When I realized it was a moment of motivation, of realization, and showing me the next step, I began to exhale. I like me. I love my family. I am worth all of it. And you know what? I can fight it. My thyroid is acting like it did after Bug. But I REFUSE to let the weight come back if I have to go back on the horrible meds or any other treatment. I know that for me to be healthy I may have to track my points, exercise, and watch my choices forever.
I have a family that supports me. What more could I ask for? I will continue to write about my journey. I am sure it will be boring, but I hope to gain so much insight from simply writing my feelings. I will continue my walking, my therapy time.
I have tracked my points with Sweetie for 2 weeks. I have exercised and posted it even on my fb and twitter as motivation. I have a study plan in place. And I shined my sink tonight. This is a journey, not sure exactly how it is going to go, but I know the destination. And I know that I will get there. I am going to break free from these prisons. I am going to be a complete me again.
My weigh in at work is on Friday. I will post the outcome :-)
The other change is really thinking about the health risks with my weight. How I see myself, even in the mirror is not accurate. It isn't until I see a photo or catch a glimpse of myself when I am not looking that I realize the truth. And the truth is that I need to be healthier. And while I have been dancing with the idea of getting back on the wagon with WW, I kept having this voice in my head saying "I will do it, but I will do xxx instead because I know better". Uhm....yeah. I know I lost before my wedding and that the program works. But obviously I need some help as it didn't help me through emotional hard times, working while going to school, and health issues. And while others who love me will argue, the truth is that I am considered type 2 obese. There are only 3 types, and type 3 is morbid. This is a medical issue. And with my thyroid being the way it is and making weight loss hard, as well as so many other things, I have to be better. I am lucky, my cholesterol, triglycerides, and blood sugar are great. But I can't rely on that. If I were diabetic, I would change my lifestyle and treat the disease. Obesity is a disease. While it is different, it is still a medical situation. I needed to treat it as such.
My other battle is body image. When I got married I was 117 pounds. I looked great. I worse a size 3. But I saw myself as fat. What I wouldn't give to go back in time and bitch slap that version of me. I know that I need to work on me as well. And that is a big reason why I am not doing a crash diet, weight loss surgery (luckily I don't qualify), or anything else drastic. I need this to take some time. I need to feel each stage of my body changing. I need to feel stronger and healthier.
When I walk, I walk alone. When I did Team in Training, I had a team and walked with them one day a week. That was fun. However, my training walks, less a few that Sweetie would walk with me, were alone. When I walked the 18 miles, I did it alone, and without music. Many have offered to walk with me. I appreciate the gesture, but know that my walking is therapy. Yesterday on my walk I went through a lot of internal stuff. (Yes more inside me talk, but is is my little part of the internet)
Over the years I have had several blows, situations, and stresses that took their toll. I like to say that I am better. And while I am, I am not 100% yet. I know I will get there as long as I keep looking inward. My point is it truly hit me how the events in my life have had an impact on how I see myself. How I do not see myself as an attractive, fun loving woman. I see myself as a wife, a mother, an employee. I do not see me. My clothing has been to cover me, but not to make me feel cute. My hair is the same way. I know I like to have my sunshine face on, and it isn't a facade, just more like just not the whole story. I feel like a prisoner in my body. And in turn this has also come through in the disorganization of my home. How I got to this point is not important. The important thing is to refind me. To take back control.
Now I am not talking about leaving my family to live in a village or anything. I just need to work on me. I need to make a conscious effort to do things for me, even if it is something silly like taking a walk or study. It was a true ah ha moment. If it were a cheesy girl chick flick, you would see me walking and then a montage of my past. I then would realize what I needed to do, and instantly feel sexy and cute and run to the airport to tell the man I love not to leave or some other blah blah blah. Well, while I love a good romantic comedy, that is not my life. Instead it is more like the montage went off in my head and I felt honestly like someone took a blow to me. I don't have to go and find my love, I have him here. Sweetie knew something was wrong and I couldn't quite put it into words. Part of me felt like things that I have worked through and dealt with were coming back. But then I realized that was not the case. Rather, it was the next step. It was like in the half marathon when I was walking for hours and felt so tired and salty and I could see the end. I wasn't done with the work, but I could see the finish. All my hard work was paying off. That is where I am, not at the end, but I can see it, I know it is there, I just have this last hurdle to overcome.
This weight loss kick, exercise, and studying again, all goes hand in hand. It all goes to help me. Yes, it will help my family but only on a secondary level. I am sure none of this makes sense. But it is good for me to write about it. This moment that I write about, it was kind of scary for me. I feared that I was going to enter a deep depression, like that of '06. I wasn't sure I could fight it if it took hold. If you have never dealt with depression, you do not know of the monster that it is and how it is much like an alter ego in some respects that takes over. I took it in, almost waiting to be pulled down. But it didn't happen. Instead I kept swimming. When I realized it was a moment of motivation, of realization, and showing me the next step, I began to exhale. I like me. I love my family. I am worth all of it. And you know what? I can fight it. My thyroid is acting like it did after Bug. But I REFUSE to let the weight come back if I have to go back on the horrible meds or any other treatment. I know that for me to be healthy I may have to track my points, exercise, and watch my choices forever.
I have a family that supports me. What more could I ask for? I will continue to write about my journey. I am sure it will be boring, but I hope to gain so much insight from simply writing my feelings. I will continue my walking, my therapy time.
I have tracked my points with Sweetie for 2 weeks. I have exercised and posted it even on my fb and twitter as motivation. I have a study plan in place. And I shined my sink tonight. This is a journey, not sure exactly how it is going to go, but I know the destination. And I know that I will get there. I am going to break free from these prisons. I am going to be a complete me again.
My weigh in at work is on Friday. I will post the outcome :-)
Monday, July 26, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
26 in 16
OK so I am putting it out here so I am accountable. I am doing good and have found some motivation to get healthy. Thanks to the horrible lighting in the dressing room last week when we shopped for the clothes to wear at the wedding. It made me sad, then mad. Mad is good, mad gets you off your butt. So I enjoyed the weekend and started back on WW yesterday. Yes, I have actually journaled my food.
I am down 16.2 from my postpartum weight. I have earned my initial 5 pounds, 2 additional 5 pounds, and a 5% star. I know it is just a graphic on a website, but it makes me proud. This week, even with the wedding, I lost 2.2. YAY.
I feel like I can do it. I have made smaller goals so I don't get lost in the whole 60 pounds that I need to lose now. I am focusing on losing 26 pounds in 16 weeks. This is in time for my b-day. This puts me below what I was on our 2nd honeymoon. My ultimate goal is to be at a weight considered healthy, even if it is only by .1, by L's 1st b-day. This would be about 66 pounds less than when I got pregnant. So my b-day is my focus, of course I have smaller goals before then, like 10% loss, back to weight that I started SEU at, so on and so forth. Next mini goal on my radar is 20 pounds.
As far as exercising, I am going to do the podrunner 5k plan followed by the 8k plan. I will be doing it in order to be in better shape for the Turkey Trot 5 miler. Yes, I am motivated today. I hope it continues. I may post on here more about weight loss and exercise to keep me honest. Another thing I did was put the ww app on Sweetie's phone. This means he can at any point look at how I am doing, see how many points I have left, calculate points of the dinners he likes to make. He is not a controlling man. He will not be harping on me. Instead he will use it as motivating tool for me.
So 26 in 16. I can do it!
I am down 16.2 from my postpartum weight. I have earned my initial 5 pounds, 2 additional 5 pounds, and a 5% star. I know it is just a graphic on a website, but it makes me proud. This week, even with the wedding, I lost 2.2. YAY.
I feel like I can do it. I have made smaller goals so I don't get lost in the whole 60 pounds that I need to lose now. I am focusing on losing 26 pounds in 16 weeks. This is in time for my b-day. This puts me below what I was on our 2nd honeymoon. My ultimate goal is to be at a weight considered healthy, even if it is only by .1, by L's 1st b-day. This would be about 66 pounds less than when I got pregnant. So my b-day is my focus, of course I have smaller goals before then, like 10% loss, back to weight that I started SEU at, so on and so forth. Next mini goal on my radar is 20 pounds.
As far as exercising, I am going to do the podrunner 5k plan followed by the 8k plan. I will be doing it in order to be in better shape for the Turkey Trot 5 miler. Yes, I am motivated today. I hope it continues. I may post on here more about weight loss and exercise to keep me honest. Another thing I did was put the ww app on Sweetie's phone. This means he can at any point look at how I am doing, see how many points I have left, calculate points of the dinners he likes to make. He is not a controlling man. He will not be harping on me. Instead he will use it as motivating tool for me.
So 26 in 16. I can do it!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Thoughts
People who make excuses irritate me. However, I realize I am making excuses too. I haven't been studying. First it was the holidays and then my eyes. No more, I need to stay on track. My boss asked me this week how it is going - I need to get back into it. I am also making excuses about my weight and my not taking better care of myself. Not sure exactly what the excuse is, but it is obviously there. I just am having trouble getting myself in a routine. Perhaps it has been the thinking of another baby, and wondering what the point in losing weight is to only gain it back. Yes, I know that I need to be healthy, yes I know my thinking is flawed.I also need to get the house in order. This is weighing heavy on me. I am hoping that we are going to get a move on the floors. I just feel like I need a week of nothing but organizing and cleaning. Perhaps we will plan a long weekend soon and get some work done. Who knows.
My little girl turns 4 in a little more than 5 weeks. I cannot wait. I love birthdays. We need to book the location and such. I already asked for a day off from work for our annual celebration of Bug. Now don't be scared, this is Bug being a monster.
OK studying, exercising, and cleaning. I can do it :-) I need to make a plan. Yes, a plan - that will solve it all - enter evil laughter.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I feel green today
Well, things are crazy as ever. We were on a role, car replaced, wash/dryer replaced, new flooring idea solved, and new slip covers purchased as we opted for washer/dryer instead of new couches. Then the storm hit. It was loud, big, crazy. Softball sized hail. Sweetie's car did not do so well, front windshield cracked throughout and back window gone. My new car has little dints. It is ok. Nothing horrible. We will survive. I am not even really bummed about it, a little stressed about getting it all fixed and the steps needed to take, but that is all.We are working very hard at getting the house organized. We have been here 10 years now - that is so hard to believe. The big push is that I am fighting depression. I have been feeling overwhelmed and out of control. I am not a woo is me kind of girl and I don't want to bring any one down. Honestly, I do try to look in the good in everything. My eyes have been bothering me, I feel like my thyroid is off, or it might be my sjogren's worse - who knows. It is time to get my blood tested, so we will see.
The good news is that I have been back on WW again for a week. I know it is not much, but I am trying. I did manage to get out and walk three times last week. Due to my muscle aches and such I am going back to the basics with slow walks using my heart rate monitor.
OK there is more to say but I need to go and put another load of laundry away. Maybe I will get caught up with laundry, like completely caught up - that hasn't happened in years.
The pics are of yesterday. The first is with the hail. It looked like snow. The streets were completely covered, so crazy. The second is moments after the storm. Everything was so very green. Right now I am feeling like I am in the storm, need to focus on the green to come.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
calm
Perhaps it is the calm before the storm, but I am feeling much better today. I am focusing on the good things. Won't you join me?
- Sweetie took my computer to the Dr today. He is so awesome like that. He said I would either have a fixed computer or a new one today.
- Computer is fixable. While a new computer would have been nice, I would like to save for it and plan for the expense, instead of a "have to".
- I have been good with studying and enjoying the topics.
- I am excited for the surgery. If you put your finger under my nose and I breath out you can feel the difference from one nostril to the next. There is quite a bit of difference. I am not sure what I am going to do when I can breath normal.
- I am still focused on the P90 program. However, I have not worked out since Sunday. I don't want to overdo it and get sick. As soon as I feel up to it, I will be exercising again. It doesn't stop my 90 day goals, it just changes how I get to the end of the 90 days.
- Week one of weight watchers went very well. I lost 3.8 - whoo hoo! I am motivated. This weigh in is what i needed before tomorrow. The old me would drown my pain with bad for me food. This is going to keep me good.
- SIL's MIL is doing Thanksgiving this year. My year for Christmas Eve. I am beyond psyched for the Turkey Trot.
- I am very excited about the debate tonight. I don't think I ever watched the debates like I have this election. I am going to get some dinner and enjoy my family. We are watching the debate with MIL and Mom.
- My mood is much better today. I feel like I am peeking out of the hole. Now I just need to hoist myself out. Better yet, anyone got a hand?
- Bug's eye is so much better. It is a beautiful shade of black/purple/yellow/green/blue. Should be perfect for picture day tomorrow.
I will update everyone with how I am doing as soon as I can tomorrow. But send good thoughts/prayers around 7-9am CST.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Blog Block
Blogging has been "less than" lately. I love to blog, I love getting my thoughts out into my own little space, I love that others reading me. But I want it to have more purpose. It is my journal and these are my thoughts. But what is my point? Do I need a point?
The CPA exam is a huge stress for me right now. I have not been able to study as much as I would like. I have been listening to my lectures while working. I have learned that working in a cube has made my ability to zone out to reach a new level. I can completely not pay attention to this boring stuff. I am working on it though. It has to help, maybe it will get into my brain without me having to pay attention.
I think my thyroid is going to be on my mind for the rest of my life. I will wonder if I am hypo, hyper, healthy. I will question every feeling - is it starting again? I test myself to see if my brain is in a fog, BestFriend does the same. I seem to be "on". I don't want to go back on the medicine. I spent 8 months of 2007 over medicated and it was horrible. I don't want that again.
Work is going well. I can not get used to having a boss who listens, jokes, and understands mistakes if you own up to it and put in efforts so things do not happen again. Oh and the big one, he goes to bat for me. I have not had that since HES. It is a strange concept, that people aren't out to get me. And co-worker A is awesome. She takes care of me. If I am having a bad day she brings me diet coke and chocolate. And she talks me up when I am not there - or at least I think she does - there I go paranoid again.
My Bug is awesome. She is smarter by the day. Don't get me wrong, she is not a genius, and I don't want her to be. But her memory is amazing me. And she and I are able to talk now and interact in an awesome way. I love the little hard headed girl that she is. And I worry that everything will change with a second child. I loved being pregnant and I want Bug to have siblings but I worry. This is so much harder than deciding for the first one. And then there is my health, I worry I will have to go through everything I did after having Bug again. And then again, wouldn't it be worth it? When you ask if she wants a baby brother or sister she shakes her head no very dramatically. I think she knows another one would mean sharing. I never wanted a baby brother or sister. I was quite content with being the baby. I knew I didn't share well and never wanted to learn how. So I worry.
And our house. I love our little house. But I do want something bigger, something with more storage. We bought our house thinking we would be there a couple of years. Nine years later we are still there. We love our house. I love how open it is. We just need to organize. I don't want to move only to be stuck with a higher mortgage and find out the maternity leave here isn't what I was told, 100% of pay. And there is so much to do on our house for selling, and the market isn't great. Though based on our neighborhood we could potentially sell for 70k more than what we owe on it, so that makes us happy. We are going to work on getting it sale ready knowing full well we might just decide to stay a tad longer. Plus we have two wild cats we feed, yes I know you feed them and they never leave. We have two inside - two of the most spoiled cats in the world. You would think they never stepped foot outside. As long as they are coming to the back door, I don't see that we can leave. What if the next people don't feed them?
My weight loss is slow. I wish it were faster but I am not about to give up everything in order to lose quickly only for it to come back faster. And I have to remind myself that I am about 15 pounds lighter than SIL#2's wedding. That is awesome. But I feel slow compared to others in our at work group. I have to keep going, each pound makes me healthier. And I am like 38 pounds less than I was at my highest in 2004. All about being healthy.
Sweetie is so awesome with supporting me. He gives me time to get mani/pedis, he offers to take Bug out of the house so I can study, he notices when I clean and makes sure I know how much he appreciates all that I do, and he helps me with my work outs. I am very lucky and I know it.
I know some who are going through rough marriages right now. I hate it. I want to make it better. But ultimately I think if you aren't happy - change something. And if changing doesn't work, perhaps leaving is best. Life is too short to stay in an unhappy marriage. As I say, neutral is not an option. Make your life what you want. Either make the marriage the one that makes you happy or find the life you need to live. Sweetie and I have had rough times. For us making changes and refocusing was the best. BestFriend also went through this and divorce was the best. I just think that being unhappy cannot be an option. That only brings resentment.
The CPA exam is a huge stress for me right now. I have not been able to study as much as I would like. I have been listening to my lectures while working. I have learned that working in a cube has made my ability to zone out to reach a new level. I can completely not pay attention to this boring stuff. I am working on it though. It has to help, maybe it will get into my brain without me having to pay attention.
I think my thyroid is going to be on my mind for the rest of my life. I will wonder if I am hypo, hyper, healthy. I will question every feeling - is it starting again? I test myself to see if my brain is in a fog, BestFriend does the same. I seem to be "on". I don't want to go back on the medicine. I spent 8 months of 2007 over medicated and it was horrible. I don't want that again.
Work is going well. I can not get used to having a boss who listens, jokes, and understands mistakes if you own up to it and put in efforts so things do not happen again. Oh and the big one, he goes to bat for me. I have not had that since HES. It is a strange concept, that people aren't out to get me. And co-worker A is awesome. She takes care of me. If I am having a bad day she brings me diet coke and chocolate. And she talks me up when I am not there - or at least I think she does - there I go paranoid again.
My Bug is awesome. She is smarter by the day. Don't get me wrong, she is not a genius, and I don't want her to be. But her memory is amazing me. And she and I are able to talk now and interact in an awesome way. I love the little hard headed girl that she is. And I worry that everything will change with a second child. I loved being pregnant and I want Bug to have siblings but I worry. This is so much harder than deciding for the first one. And then there is my health, I worry I will have to go through everything I did after having Bug again. And then again, wouldn't it be worth it? When you ask if she wants a baby brother or sister she shakes her head no very dramatically. I think she knows another one would mean sharing. I never wanted a baby brother or sister. I was quite content with being the baby. I knew I didn't share well and never wanted to learn how. So I worry.
And our house. I love our little house. But I do want something bigger, something with more storage. We bought our house thinking we would be there a couple of years. Nine years later we are still there. We love our house. I love how open it is. We just need to organize. I don't want to move only to be stuck with a higher mortgage and find out the maternity leave here isn't what I was told, 100% of pay. And there is so much to do on our house for selling, and the market isn't great. Though based on our neighborhood we could potentially sell for 70k more than what we owe on it, so that makes us happy. We are going to work on getting it sale ready knowing full well we might just decide to stay a tad longer. Plus we have two wild cats we feed, yes I know you feed them and they never leave. We have two inside - two of the most spoiled cats in the world. You would think they never stepped foot outside. As long as they are coming to the back door, I don't see that we can leave. What if the next people don't feed them?
My weight loss is slow. I wish it were faster but I am not about to give up everything in order to lose quickly only for it to come back faster. And I have to remind myself that I am about 15 pounds lighter than SIL#2's wedding. That is awesome. But I feel slow compared to others in our at work group. I have to keep going, each pound makes me healthier. And I am like 38 pounds less than I was at my highest in 2004. All about being healthy.
Sweetie is so awesome with supporting me. He gives me time to get mani/pedis, he offers to take Bug out of the house so I can study, he notices when I clean and makes sure I know how much he appreciates all that I do, and he helps me with my work outs. I am very lucky and I know it.
I know some who are going through rough marriages right now. I hate it. I want to make it better. But ultimately I think if you aren't happy - change something. And if changing doesn't work, perhaps leaving is best. Life is too short to stay in an unhappy marriage. As I say, neutral is not an option. Make your life what you want. Either make the marriage the one that makes you happy or find the life you need to live. Sweetie and I have had rough times. For us making changes and refocusing was the best. BestFriend also went through this and divorce was the best. I just think that being unhappy cannot be an option. That only brings resentment.
I truly am feeling good. I think my thyroid is normal. I am noticing the weight loss. I feel stronger with my workouts. I feel smart at work - I answered an accounting question for my boss today - yep he is a CPA. Things are good. Now I need to focus on paying my taxes - ugh still pissed that we owe, make a plan for home improvements (and a loan if needed), and keep up with my studying. If only I could function on less sleep or create more hours in the day.
This has been long. Thanks for letting me get all of that out. Not sure where this blog is going. That is the nice thing. I am in charge here and I will guide it as we go. Have a great evening. I am going to enjoy the beautiful weather with another installment of my walk/run workout.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
taking control
I know my blog has been boring lately, talking about happy things and so on and so forth. But here is more :-)When I received my news on Thursday about my thyroid, I was so very happy. I cannot describe what it did to me. While there is a part of me that is nervous that in May I will be back to Graves', most of me is relieved. I feel so different. BestFriend can tell the difference when I am off and assured me before I received the results that I was normal still.
So no excuses. No excuses for not losing weight, for not being able to concentrate enough to study, for not having enough energy to keep up with things (though I have not had the extreme tiredness since getting off my meds at the beginning of Sept). I have said many times before that neutral is not an option. Not with my health, my marriage, my career, my family.... You get the idea. Idle is not productive.
But what really gets me is the impact of that call. I am so motivated to study now. Though I am blogging instead of cracking the books, but Bug is at the end of a nap and might wake any moment, and I want some quality me time. I feel like I can do anything right now. Not that everything is perfect, it isn't and never will be and quite frankly, I don't want it to be. But I feel solid, that is the only way to describe it.
With my diet I am not focusing on being thin thin. Hell, I am not even focusing on the weight guidelines from WW. Instead, I want to get to a certain number, what I weighed when my thyroid broke. My body loved that weight, as I maintained it for a number of years. It is still considered overweight, and I don't care. That might sound odd as I keep promoting healthy lifestyles and such and being overweight is a health risk and associated with several diseases. My thinking is that the BMI calculation is so flawed. If IronDiva is considered overweight, and OMG she is sooo not overweight, then there is a flaw. It doesn't take into account muscle. So if I get to this weight and I am active and feeling good that is all that matters. And so I am starting my third week of actually following WW and tracking my points and planning.
With weight loss there is needed exercise. Tell me to do an aerobics class three times a week to lose weight and I will not attend. Tell me that I need to complete a certain number of miles in a week to complete a race, I am totally there. I need a training schedule and a goal. There is something about my walking. I weighed 30 pounds heavier when I started training for the halves and was a little over 20 pounds heavier when I completed my second. When I walk I feel able, I feel healthy, and I feel peaceful. Yesterday started my 100 days to the end of the Spring Race Challenge. In my schedule Fridays are rest days. So, yesterday was easy to accomplish. I did not workout and so I was successful. Today is day 2. I did two workouts for all intents and purposes. We took MIL and Bug to the park. We played, climbed, crawled, ran, and kicked the ball. It was a good workout. However, it was not what I had on my training schedule to do. After the fun, Bug went to sleep. MIL and Sweetie went out to spend some time together and I stayed with Bug. If Bug takes a nap at home chances are that I will nap with her. If she has slept at home, I think I have taken a good 99% of the naps with her. Not today. Though I was tired and sleep would have been fun, I took the opportunity to work out. I did my p90 cardio 1-2 workout with abs. After a nice shower, I feel refreshed and accomplished.
Not only that but before getting together with MIL, I decided to clean and organize our bathroom. Our bathroom is not the guest bathroom so it gets put on the back burner. Today I decided I had enough and I did something about it. I feel so accomplished today.
SRC Day 2: P90 Cardio 1-2 & abs - complete
Monday, January 21, 2008
such a monday
I am not having a bad day per say. But it is having its moments. We woke up a tad later than we were doing last week. Bug wanted to play and snuggle - not that there is anything wrong with that, we had fun and made sure to squish her properly. But things were off.
And everything hits at once. Our dryer is making strange noises, our lawn mower is dead, our hot water heater is making noises I don't like - though Sweetie assures me that they are the normal sounds. The house is unorganized. I need to start studying for the CPA again and I feel overwhelmed with organizing the house instead of sitting and studying. I know it is procrastination.
The vacation was everything I could have hoped for. Our renewal was beautiful. The surprise was amazing. But now back into reality. I had a semi sad day yesterday. Nothing horrible. But I planned a brunch with my friends and I didn't get to enjoy their company as much as I would have liked. Just an off day.
Today is gloomy outside. It makes me want to crawl onto my couch with a blanket, a Bug, and a Sweetie. And my training for my 10k needs to start this week. Of course, during the week of cold and wet.
Something interesting. I was looking through spreadsheets and found my weigh in from last year. I weigh the same today as I did last year. Just when I thought I had failed and gained weight, I didn't. I may not have lost, but at least I didn't gain. And considering my thyroid roller coaster, it makes me very proud. But it was also a reminder that the scale is not all that. While I am still doing WW and they still focus on weight, I am not focusing on the weight I need to be. I am focusing on one goal at a time and then moving on. I walked so much and did so much on my vacation that I feel much more comfortable in my skin.
Tonight I am hoping to work out and get some chores complete. Add in some snuggles, giggles, hiding, running, "play me"s, and a huge bubble bath and I will be in heaven. This weather is making my skin so dry, I want nothing more than to lather myself in lotion after our bath.
I am feeling better. I am not going to let sadness get to me. Nope nope.
And everything hits at once. Our dryer is making strange noises, our lawn mower is dead, our hot water heater is making noises I don't like - though Sweetie assures me that they are the normal sounds. The house is unorganized. I need to start studying for the CPA again and I feel overwhelmed with organizing the house instead of sitting and studying. I know it is procrastination.
The vacation was everything I could have hoped for. Our renewal was beautiful. The surprise was amazing. But now back into reality. I had a semi sad day yesterday. Nothing horrible. But I planned a brunch with my friends and I didn't get to enjoy their company as much as I would have liked. Just an off day.
Today is gloomy outside. It makes me want to crawl onto my couch with a blanket, a Bug, and a Sweetie. And my training for my 10k needs to start this week. Of course, during the week of cold and wet.
Something interesting. I was looking through spreadsheets and found my weigh in from last year. I weigh the same today as I did last year. Just when I thought I had failed and gained weight, I didn't. I may not have lost, but at least I didn't gain. And considering my thyroid roller coaster, it makes me very proud. But it was also a reminder that the scale is not all that. While I am still doing WW and they still focus on weight, I am not focusing on the weight I need to be. I am focusing on one goal at a time and then moving on. I walked so much and did so much on my vacation that I feel much more comfortable in my skin.
Tonight I am hoping to work out and get some chores complete. Add in some snuggles, giggles, hiding, running, "play me"s, and a huge bubble bath and I will be in heaven. This weather is making my skin so dry, I want nothing more than to lather myself in lotion after our bath.
I am feeling better. I am not going to let sadness get to me. Nope nope.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Christmas has begun
OK since we are busy like daily through Christmas, my posts will most likely be short and to the point.
We had my party on Friday and Sweetie's was tonight. Before the party I decided to get my hair cut. YAY I feel like I am me again. I didn't go as short as I was 10 years ago, but it is shorter than I have been in some time.
What else is new this week? I woke up early yesterday and today and worked out. YAY me. And this morning I didn't start my stopwatch as I started my walk, I hit the button but it didn't start and I didn't notice as it was dark. And it didn't bother me. That is big for me. I am doing so much better with my control issues. I am letting go of perfection. I tend to expect too much of myself and then when I don't meet my own self made standards, I beat myself up for it. Stupid really. But I am working on it and have seen huge changes. I am sure a longer post will come soon with more explanation. But for now let's just say that with the anniversary coming up, I am doing a lot of looking back and looking forward. I weighed less when we got married. But everything that I am most proud of in the last 10 years happened when I was at this weight or higher so I have to let go of the idea that the scale will somehow make things better. Things are great now and I am healthy and happy - what more could I ask for? I am focusing on a healthy loss that I can maintain. I am focusing on making memories.
Tomorrow night is our last free night until Christmas. We need to finish shopping and start wrapping.
I am feeling so good that I feel guilty. I hate it when friends hurt. I want to make it better.
We had my party on Friday and Sweetie's was tonight. Before the party I decided to get my hair cut. YAY I feel like I am me again. I didn't go as short as I was 10 years ago, but it is shorter than I have been in some time.
What else is new this week? I woke up early yesterday and today and worked out. YAY me. And this morning I didn't start my stopwatch as I started my walk, I hit the button but it didn't start and I didn't notice as it was dark. And it didn't bother me. That is big for me. I am doing so much better with my control issues. I am letting go of perfection. I tend to expect too much of myself and then when I don't meet my own self made standards, I beat myself up for it. Stupid really. But I am working on it and have seen huge changes. I am sure a longer post will come soon with more explanation. But for now let's just say that with the anniversary coming up, I am doing a lot of looking back and looking forward. I weighed less when we got married. But everything that I am most proud of in the last 10 years happened when I was at this weight or higher so I have to let go of the idea that the scale will somehow make things better. Things are great now and I am healthy and happy - what more could I ask for? I am focusing on a healthy loss that I can maintain. I am focusing on making memories.Tomorrow night is our last free night until Christmas. We need to finish shopping and start wrapping.
I am feeling so good that I feel guilty. I hate it when friends hurt. I want to make it better.
Friday, December 14, 2007
getting my party on
I still feel crappy, but am in such a great mood. I had another weight loss this week. I am feeling great about that.
My anniversary ring came in. We had it shipped to Sweetie's work. He is very very happy with it. I cannot wait to see it.
My anniversary ring came in. We had it shipped to Sweetie's work. He is very very happy with it. I cannot wait to see it.
OK that wasn't much of a post. Sorry about that. But I must got get beautimus for my party.
~Night y'all~
Thursday, December 06, 2007
bringing it all together
Time for reflection. Time for contemplation. I am fighting a cold. Fighting it hard might I add. I refuse to be sick. This weekend is too special. I have the trail of lights 5k. The neat part about this year is that I get to see the trail of lights twice. We have the 5k and then we always go with SIL#2, BIL, Niece, MIL, and Mom. Lots of fun this year.But something else is happening on Saturday, at the 5k. I am reconnecting with the friend that I have not seen in some fifteen years. I am excited. I am nervous. I have grown, matured, and changed since then. What if she doesn't like me? What if I am not cool enough for her? What if time has been too much? Brother has already met with her a couple of times. I am convinced that I am overreacting.
I am feeling so good. I think my thyroid is still normal. I have been doing very well with my diet. Though nothing has been off limits - it is the holiday season. Having WW at work has been very nice. Tomorrow is weigh in. So far I am down 5 pounds. We shall see what tomorrow brings.
Four weeks left until 10 years. We purchased new wedding bands for the celebration and picked them up last night. They are so beautiful. And tonight we found my anniversary ring. I have been looking for the perfect ring. I am not a traditional type. I wanted something different. I did not want diamonds. When I found this ring and showed Sweetie, he pulled his wallet out immediately and told me to order it because it is the ring. I am so excited. Have I mentioned that I still do not know the plans? Have I mentioned that I have not been asking? Have I mentioned that this drives me crazy?
I am tired. Tonight is going to be watching Christmas movies, eating PB&J, and a long bath. I
have to feel better for the fun of Saturday!
Saturday, November 03, 2007
pre-5k check in
Just a quick note to say that I am doing good. Race for A Cure is tomorrow morning. So we have to get up nice and early. Thank goodness for the time change.
Let's see, what have I been up to?
Halloween was good, pictures to come. Weight Watchers started on Friday. I am so excited. It is going to be good. Now I just need to get back on the 'ol workout routine and I should be set.
OK short and sweet. I need my beauty sleep for tomorrow morning I walk in the sea of pink.
Let's see, what have I been up to?
Halloween was good, pictures to come. Weight Watchers started on Friday. I am so excited. It is going to be good. Now I just need to get back on the 'ol workout routine and I should be set.
OK short and sweet. I need my beauty sleep for tomorrow morning I walk in the sea of pink.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
as promised
Pictures are finally here, yay. I am writing this while listening to both Sweetie and Bug snore. It has been a rough week for us and sleep has been limited. We were all in bed before 8:30. I am so tired too, but can I sleep? Nope. Oh well, I figured I would write instead. Things are good today, though my eyes are bothering me more. I have no idea if it is my allergies or thyroid. I hate not knowing, means I am not in control. One more week without meds and I get my blood tested. I am still cautious about it all. BestFriend has planned more with the glow party and it truly makes me happy. I feel like I have a team cheering me on through this.
I found out this week that my friend A is pregnant with her #2. That makes the third person we know who is due in Feb. And while I have said a lot about wanting another baby and how I am getting healthy for that, I just want everyone to know that whatever happens, happens. Sweetie and I have had several long talks about how much we want more children, but if that is not in the cards for us, Bug is awesome and we are thrilled with her.
Weight Watchers at work has not started yet. They are waiting for a leader to be assigned. That is my one main complaint about this set up. With this program you need to find the right leader and there is no shopping around for other meeting/leaders like you can when you attend traditional meetings. Plus I hate it when I know the program better than the leaders. But I am having faith and letting go. I need the support and environment to continue my weight loss. But I must say that I am fighting going off program until it starts. Or the one that is harder to fight, going off until I take the RAI - or rather the week before due to the low-iodine diet. I keep thinking that once I get the treatment that I am going to have to be healthy and why not blow it until then. I know, the other part of me, the angel on my shoulder, says to stay good and that way I have less to lose after treatment. But that devil can be tempting. For lunch Sweetie and I went to Red Robin. I had a bad morning and ate poorly because of it. But I came back to work and counted all the points.
OK on to pictures:
Bug and me at the lake last Thursday. She didn't want her picture taken, she wanted to go and see the water.
The lake.
The geese that chased Bug and me.
My new iPod skin. don't you love it? This is so very me. And it makes me smile. Now I can listen to the CPA reviews at work.
And my new walking shoes. The photo does not capture the color. They are brown. Chocolate actually. I really like them, hope the feel great after walking for awhile. I think I was drawn to them because on the low-iodine diet you cannot eat chocolate.
I found out this week that my friend A is pregnant with her #2. That makes the third person we know who is due in Feb. And while I have said a lot about wanting another baby and how I am getting healthy for that, I just want everyone to know that whatever happens, happens. Sweetie and I have had several long talks about how much we want more children, but if that is not in the cards for us, Bug is awesome and we are thrilled with her.
Weight Watchers at work has not started yet. They are waiting for a leader to be assigned. That is my one main complaint about this set up. With this program you need to find the right leader and there is no shopping around for other meeting/leaders like you can when you attend traditional meetings. Plus I hate it when I know the program better than the leaders. But I am having faith and letting go. I need the support and environment to continue my weight loss. But I must say that I am fighting going off program until it starts. Or the one that is harder to fight, going off until I take the RAI - or rather the week before due to the low-iodine diet. I keep thinking that once I get the treatment that I am going to have to be healthy and why not blow it until then. I know, the other part of me, the angel on my shoulder, says to stay good and that way I have less to lose after treatment. But that devil can be tempting. For lunch Sweetie and I went to Red Robin. I had a bad morning and ate poorly because of it. But I came back to work and counted all the points.
OK on to pictures:
Bug and me at the lake last Thursday. She didn't want her picture taken, she wanted to go and see the water.
The lake.
The geese that chased Bug and me.
My new iPod skin. don't you love it? This is so very me. And it makes me smile. Now I can listen to the CPA reviews at work.
And my new walking shoes. The photo does not capture the color. They are brown. Chocolate actually. I really like them, hope the feel great after walking for awhile. I think I was drawn to them because on the low-iodine diet you cannot eat chocolate.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
i am shrinking
I gave my blood this morning. I read an article about your TSH being higher if you fast, basically warning against fasting, unless needed for other tests, as to provide more accurate results. Well, since I want mine higher for dosage reduction, I fasted. I should get the results tomorrow. Then the appointment is Friday. This is this Doctor's last chance. I just spoke with a co-worker who has a great endocrinologist and I may try him.
Thankful for:
4 - having the cubicle closest to the bathroom. The rich food from Monday decided to turn my tummy against me. I know, TMI.
5 - having measured, yay for getting through the first 30 days, and seeing a 2" reduction in my waist. I lost all over, but that was my biggest loss.
I need to workout tonight and not think about the test results. I will receive the call about them in the morning. Tonight is going to be relaxing. Don't worry I will post as soon as I know anything.
Thankful for:
4 - having the cubicle closest to the bathroom. The rich food from Monday decided to turn my tummy against me. I know, TMI.
5 - having measured, yay for getting through the first 30 days, and seeing a 2" reduction in my waist. I lost all over, but that was my biggest loss.
I need to workout tonight and not think about the test results. I will receive the call about them in the morning. Tonight is going to be relaxing. Don't worry I will post as soon as I know anything.
Monday, August 13, 2007
feeling strong
First, of course most important, Bug is feeling more like her old self. Her fever lasted all day Friday and Saturday. Luckily, she did not have one yesterday. I was afraid the emergency room would be in our plans.
I did my workout on Friday and Saturday. Yesterday was a rest day. YAY. First week done, 12 more to go. This week my goal is to start my training for the 10k while keeping up with my power90 workouts.
So working out, keeping Bug happy, and installing my mom's garage door opener - though not 100% complete yet, was our weekend. I wouldn't say boring, just not action packed. And sometimes that is best.
And I am happy to say that I counted my points all 7 days last week - even on the weekend. Oh and I am wearing some pants that I have not worn in a couple of months because they were tight - heehee.
And to my friend who is hurting. I miss you!
7 days down/83 to go
I did my workout on Friday and Saturday. Yesterday was a rest day. YAY. First week done, 12 more to go. This week my goal is to start my training for the 10k while keeping up with my power90 workouts.
So working out, keeping Bug happy, and installing my mom's garage door opener - though not 100% complete yet, was our weekend. I wouldn't say boring, just not action packed. And sometimes that is best.
And I am happy to say that I counted my points all 7 days last week - even on the weekend. Oh and I am wearing some pants that I have not worn in a couple of months because they were tight - heehee.
And to my friend who is hurting. I miss you!
7 days down/83 to go
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
90 days to a new me
Sweetie and I never ever ever order items off infomercials. Though I do like to watch them. However, a week and a half ago we felt compelled to call the toll free number. Sweetie and I are doing the workout plan Power 90. He is doing the P90x and I am doing the first level of Power 90. It took a week, but we received our items and have been gearing ourselves up for starting this journey. We are not out to become one of the "success stories". We are not out to have this huge transformation. No, we simply want to be in better shape. I would do the P90x with Sweetie, but it has a minimum requirement test that, quite frankly, I can not pass yet.
Yesterday, my items arrived. I got home and pulled out the material. We have been soaking up all the knowledge we could on the message boards and question and answer pages so that we would be prepared. I even bought a bikini to wear during my progress shots. I let nothing hold me back last night. The DVD did not work for the cardio workout and the replacement DVD will take a week to arrive, I could have used it as an excuse to postpone starting until it arrives. Then while Sweetie and Bug were at gymnastics I was going to take my before pictures. I could not find our camcorder. It has a remote and the screen flips, so it makes taking pictures of yourself very easy. It was at Sweetie's work. You are supposed to take the before pictures before your first workout. UGH. I decided nothing would hold me back. I got my digital camera, found how to do the timer, got out my tripod, and took my before photos. I then took my measurements and did the sculpt workout since the cardio did not work. Sweetie was pleasantly surprised to see me working out when he got home.
It was a good workout. I am sore today. Not too sore, but sore enough to know that I worked my muscles. The hardest part? The pushups and tricep dips - owie. But overall, I feel very motivated.
Turns out it is our DVD player and not the disc, so I will be able to workout tonight with the correct workout, I was going to use the more advanced DVD and make modifications so that I don't overdo it. But I am relieved that I don't have to. Tonight is cardio with abs and maybe some walking.
So my blog might be about weight loss, walking, and power90 more and more. Hope it isn't boring. I am simply trying to keep myself motivated. My focus is our anniversary and getting into great shape before #2. I was lucky and at the end of my pregnancy had only gained 5 pounds with Bug (and she was 6 lbs 3 oz so really I didn't gain anything). I am sure that I won't be that lucky next time :-)
Sweetie and I were both good in taking our before shots and measurements. We hope to have results good enough to post on the internet. I know those photos alone are enough to keep me on track for a while.
One day down, eighty-nine to go.
Yesterday, my items arrived. I got home and pulled out the material. We have been soaking up all the knowledge we could on the message boards and question and answer pages so that we would be prepared. I even bought a bikini to wear during my progress shots. I let nothing hold me back last night. The DVD did not work for the cardio workout and the replacement DVD will take a week to arrive, I could have used it as an excuse to postpone starting until it arrives. Then while Sweetie and Bug were at gymnastics I was going to take my before pictures. I could not find our camcorder. It has a remote and the screen flips, so it makes taking pictures of yourself very easy. It was at Sweetie's work. You are supposed to take the before pictures before your first workout. UGH. I decided nothing would hold me back. I got my digital camera, found how to do the timer, got out my tripod, and took my before photos. I then took my measurements and did the sculpt workout since the cardio did not work. Sweetie was pleasantly surprised to see me working out when he got home.
It was a good workout. I am sore today. Not too sore, but sore enough to know that I worked my muscles. The hardest part? The pushups and tricep dips - owie. But overall, I feel very motivated.
Turns out it is our DVD player and not the disc, so I will be able to workout tonight with the correct workout, I was going to use the more advanced DVD and make modifications so that I don't overdo it. But I am relieved that I don't have to. Tonight is cardio with abs and maybe some walking.
So my blog might be about weight loss, walking, and power90 more and more. Hope it isn't boring. I am simply trying to keep myself motivated. My focus is our anniversary and getting into great shape before #2. I was lucky and at the end of my pregnancy had only gained 5 pounds with Bug (and she was 6 lbs 3 oz so really I didn't gain anything). I am sure that I won't be that lucky next time :-)
Sweetie and I were both good in taking our before shots and measurements. We hope to have results good enough to post on the internet. I know those photos alone are enough to keep me on track for a while.
One day down, eighty-nine to go.
Monday, July 30, 2007
My Mommy Weekend
No big hair or shiny shoes for me. I did not make it to Dallas as planned. The goal was to leave after the b-day party on Saturday, thinking it was from 1-3. However, I was wrong. It was from 5-7. While Sweetie told me to go and was very supportive of taking a very two year old to a party by himself, I knew I would have full blown mom guilt.
While I missed not seeing the bitches and cannot wait to see them hopefully sometime soon, I am so glad that I did not go. Not only was the party a success, she was the only one from the school that came (the others were family and friends of the parents), but we also ended up having an impromptu playdate with Bug's boyfriend. It was very nice and relaxed. However, Bug was being very two all weekend. And if you are not a parent and don't know this joy, being very two means full blown fit and then suddenly sweet and nice. It is the strangest thing.
The whole weekend was about being a mommy/a family. It was awesome. And other than me fighting a sinus infection with all my might, I had a great weekend. Pictures will come shortly. All I can say is that it is neat to have the popular kid. Everyone wants to hang out with her. We will see if we passed and if she gets invited to anything else. And with our busy weekend we also had some nice downtime with watching movies and napping.
And to top off the weekend, when I weighed in this morning I was down 3 more pounds. YAY!! 11 weeks until LiveStrong Challenge and 12 weeks until IBM 10k. Sweetie and I are doing good with our training and plan to start adding some strength training and such to our routines. More on that later.
This weekend left Sweetie and me pumped about some of our goals right now - house wise, family wise, health wise, etc. It is just nice to feel like things are coming together and to feel in control.
Don't worry I am not going to allow myself to get full blown sick. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.
While I missed not seeing the bitches and cannot wait to see them hopefully sometime soon, I am so glad that I did not go. Not only was the party a success, she was the only one from the school that came (the others were family and friends of the parents), but we also ended up having an impromptu playdate with Bug's boyfriend. It was very nice and relaxed. However, Bug was being very two all weekend. And if you are not a parent and don't know this joy, being very two means full blown fit and then suddenly sweet and nice. It is the strangest thing.
The whole weekend was about being a mommy/a family. It was awesome. And other than me fighting a sinus infection with all my might, I had a great weekend. Pictures will come shortly. All I can say is that it is neat to have the popular kid. Everyone wants to hang out with her. We will see if we passed and if she gets invited to anything else. And with our busy weekend we also had some nice downtime with watching movies and napping.
And to top off the weekend, when I weighed in this morning I was down 3 more pounds. YAY!! 11 weeks until LiveStrong Challenge and 12 weeks until IBM 10k. Sweetie and I are doing good with our training and plan to start adding some strength training and such to our routines. More on that later.
This weekend left Sweetie and me pumped about some of our goals right now - house wise, family wise, health wise, etc. It is just nice to feel like things are coming together and to feel in control.
Don't worry I am not going to allow myself to get full blown sick. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
that is Manager Missy to you
I am still here. And have the nice opportunity to blog as my boss left early today. Things are going well in my world. Though I am looking forward to a weekend that we don't have any plans and can just veg. That might be the weekend of Aug 11 as this weekend Bug has a b-day party to go to with one of her buddies from school and the next weekend is Sweetie's b-day.
Speaking of Sweetie. He has a new blog. He has his normal blog, where he is bad about posting, and now has added a fun blog. He created a site called I am jealous. Check it out!
I am back on the weight loss bandwagon. I rejoined weight watchers online Sunday night. So far I have been good. Not obsessing, just counting what I eat and focusing on more SouthBeach/Core Foods. We shall see. My walking is still going well. Still worried that the 10k might be too far too soon. Though I went further on the same time frame of training and I weighed close to 30 pounds more when I did TNT. Blah. I just want to feel great. My goal is to lose weight/feel better for our 10 year anniversary. I have no idea what Sweetie has planned, maybe nothing - but I want to feel good about the pictures taken regardless - as I always make sure to have pictures taken.
Work is going well. We finished the big tax return that I was working on. YAY. It wasn't hard, just a lot of calculations and I had to bring my department into the 20th century. They had tons of 10-key tape taped to sheets to show their calculations with hand written tiny notes. That does not work for me. I use excel. You can enter the formulas, have better descriptions, and save it for next time. The best part is that if one number is off, you don't have to rerun the whole tape. Luckily, my boss thinks this is a good thing. And while it is not official, it should be at some point this week. My big news is that my Manager title will actually be used. Four people will begin reporting directly to me. This is big. The most I have managed before is 2. Yay for using my degrees. They better watch out, don't you know that I am a hard ass boss.
I go back to the Hematologist tomorrow. They want a final look to make sure that everything is normal. I am sure that it is. I am feeling pretty good. Not quite as tired as I have been. Then I go back to my Endo in Sept. I think that is when we will discuss the RAI. I still HATE the idea of it. I don't like making decisions where there is no going back. I do not do well with that thinking. But I believe that Sweetie and I are done with these meds and I need to be six months or so past RAI before trying for #2. And since we are ready for #2, it means we need the RAI. I just hate being on meds forever. And I know, I know - it could be so much worse.
OK I think I am going to sneak out early and go and get my little girl. Everyone have a great night!
Speaking of Sweetie. He has a new blog. He has his normal blog, where he is bad about posting, and now has added a fun blog. He created a site called I am jealous. Check it out!
I am back on the weight loss bandwagon. I rejoined weight watchers online Sunday night. So far I have been good. Not obsessing, just counting what I eat and focusing on more SouthBeach/Core Foods. We shall see. My walking is still going well. Still worried that the 10k might be too far too soon. Though I went further on the same time frame of training and I weighed close to 30 pounds more when I did TNT. Blah. I just want to feel great. My goal is to lose weight/feel better for our 10 year anniversary. I have no idea what Sweetie has planned, maybe nothing - but I want to feel good about the pictures taken regardless - as I always make sure to have pictures taken.
Work is going well. We finished the big tax return that I was working on. YAY. It wasn't hard, just a lot of calculations and I had to bring my department into the 20th century. They had tons of 10-key tape taped to sheets to show their calculations with hand written tiny notes. That does not work for me. I use excel. You can enter the formulas, have better descriptions, and save it for next time. The best part is that if one number is off, you don't have to rerun the whole tape. Luckily, my boss thinks this is a good thing. And while it is not official, it should be at some point this week. My big news is that my Manager title will actually be used. Four people will begin reporting directly to me. This is big. The most I have managed before is 2. Yay for using my degrees. They better watch out, don't you know that I am a hard ass boss.
I go back to the Hematologist tomorrow. They want a final look to make sure that everything is normal. I am sure that it is. I am feeling pretty good. Not quite as tired as I have been. Then I go back to my Endo in Sept. I think that is when we will discuss the RAI. I still HATE the idea of it. I don't like making decisions where there is no going back. I do not do well with that thinking. But I believe that Sweetie and I are done with these meds and I need to be six months or so past RAI before trying for #2. And since we are ready for #2, it means we need the RAI. I just hate being on meds forever. And I know, I know - it could be so much worse.
OK I think I am going to sneak out early and go and get my little girl. Everyone have a great night!
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