still here

I am here. Not much to report. I have been fighting some depression - fun, I tell ya. And I hate for my blog to be too negative, so I have been away. I did get a physical on Monday. Dr is going to talk to me on Friday about the results and potential happy pills. What's wrong? Nothing and everything. Sad about Alley, normal chemical issues, and feeling overwhelmed with life - nothing major.

I have been eating very poorly. I am sure it is due to the emotions I am going through.

I just need a swift kick in the butt. I need motivation. I need to feel like I am on top of everything.

My eyes feel so tired all of the time, I don't want to do anything, and then beat myself up for doing nothing. Endless cycle of life.

But I have a new phone and it makes me feel important. It is a work phone. This means I am "on-call" all the time. And that is ok.

CPA class starts next week. I hope my life stabilizes so I can actually test with this one. The goal is to pass ONE and then I have 18 months to pass the other three.

Oh and Blah!

And then there is everything I want to do for the house. Things I want to get it ready for sale, read for another addition to the family, or ready for me to feel complete in it.

Did I mention I am all over the place?

I just have to break this funk.

OK that was the most depressing post ever.

a little from column A, a little from column B

Where have I been? Work has been pretty busy. It is time for the audit of the trust account. That is all me, well with the exception of when I need to ask my boss for the answers, lol. But it means a lot of work. I didn't eat lunch until 3:30.

As far as my thyroid goes I have a physical scheduled for 4/21. As of right now I am going to wait until then to see where my thyroid is. Yes, I think it is off. However, this gives me three weeks to really follow my diet and exercise program.

I am still gearing up for the CPA, but trying not to stress about it.

I am working with Sweetie on something to motivate me with being healthier - like a surprise. I need something to truly motivate me. What do I truly want/need desire? Hard question.

Oh and we found Sweetie's book at B&N. And relatives found it in Houston. It was so awesome to see it on a shelf at a real book store. SO VERY PROUD!!!

And this weekend is going to be busy. Friday is spending time with my friend Tammy, her family, Brother, and BestFriend. Saturday is mani/pedi with BestFriend, and Sunday is our 10k. I am so excited. I have not walked this week as I wanted, but I am still in this. I am fighting the depression. And focusing on keeping my sunshine attitude.

Today is a new day and I refuse to let this thyroid run my life, that is the main reason I am not running to get my blood tested. I want to alter things in my life and see the results.

Ding

Ding - I'm done. My six months are up. I have been off my meds for six months. And while I do not know where my thyroid is at the moment, I know that the medicine is fully out of my system. Can I see some dancin'?

Six months of no meds means that I am healthy enough to get pregnant. I have several friends who have had babies recently. Bug is changing her mind about the whole baby thing and is now - for the moment that is - saying another might be ok.

Of course that doesn't mean we are anywhere near trying. I still want to get this damn CPA test out of the way. There is going to be some reorganization at my work. Not any job losses, but job changes. I need to have this certificate to prove that this is what I do and I do it well.

And to top it off, I have a hurt shoulder. I am sure it is from using my mouse. Which of course is going to make the studying that much harder. But I can do it. I am Super Woman. This is going to hinder my blogging. And that just sucks.

Blog Block

Blogging has been "less than" lately. I love to blog, I love getting my thoughts out into my own little space, I love that others reading me. But I want it to have more purpose. It is my journal and these are my thoughts. But what is my point? Do I need a point?

The CPA exam is a huge stress for me right now. I have not been able to study as much as I would like. I have been listening to my lectures while working. I have learned that working in a cube has made my ability to zone out to reach a new level. I can completely not pay attention to this boring stuff. I am working on it though. It has to help, maybe it will get into my brain without me having to pay attention.

I think my thyroid is going to be on my mind for the rest of my life. I will wonder if I am hypo, hyper, healthy. I will question every feeling - is it starting again? I test myself to see if my brain is in a fog, BestFriend does the same. I seem to be "on". I don't want to go back on the medicine. I spent 8 months of 2007 over medicated and it was horrible. I don't want that again.

Work is going well. I can not get used to having a boss who listens, jokes, and understands mistakes if you own up to it and put in efforts so things do not happen again. Oh and the big one, he goes to bat for me. I have not had that since HES. It is a strange concept, that people aren't out to get me. And co-worker A is awesome. She takes care of me. If I am having a bad day she brings me diet coke and chocolate. And she talks me up when I am not there - or at least I think she does - there I go paranoid again.

My Bug is awesome. She is smarter by the day. Don't get me wrong, she is not a genius, and I don't want her to be. But her memory is amazing me. And she and I are able to talk now and interact in an awesome way. I love the little hard headed girl that she is. And I worry that everything will change with a second child. I loved being pregnant and I want Bug to have siblings but I worry. This is so much harder than deciding for the first one. And then there is my health, I worry I will have to go through everything I did after having Bug again. And then again, wouldn't it be worth it? When you ask if she wants a baby brother or sister she shakes her head no very dramatically. I think she knows another one would mean sharing. I never wanted a baby brother or sister. I was quite content with being the baby. I knew I didn't share well and never wanted to learn how. So I worry.

And our house. I love our little house. But I do want something bigger, something with more storage. We bought our house thinking we would be there a couple of years. Nine years later we are still there. We love our house. I love how open it is. We just need to organize. I don't want to move only to be stuck with a higher mortgage and find out the maternity leave here isn't what I was told, 100% of pay. And there is so much to do on our house for selling, and the market isn't great. Though based on our neighborhood we could potentially sell for 70k more than what we owe on it, so that makes us happy. We are going to work on getting it sale ready knowing full well we might just decide to stay a tad longer. Plus we have two wild cats we feed, yes I know you feed them and they never leave. We have two inside - two of the most spoiled cats in the world. You would think they never stepped foot outside. As long as they are coming to the back door, I don't see that we can leave. What if the next people don't feed them?

My weight loss is slow. I wish it were faster but I am not about to give up everything in order to lose quickly only for it to come back faster. And I have to remind myself that I am about 15 pounds lighter than SIL#2's wedding. That is awesome. But I feel slow compared to others in our at work group. I have to keep going, each pound makes me healthier. And I am like 38 pounds less than I was at my highest in 2004. All about being healthy.

Sweetie is so awesome with supporting me. He gives me time to get mani/pedis, he offers to take Bug out of the house so I can study, he notices when I clean and makes sure I know how much he appreciates all that I do, and he helps me with my work outs. I am very lucky and I know it.

I know some who are going through rough marriages right now. I hate it. I want to make it better. But ultimately I think if you aren't happy - change something. And if changing doesn't work, perhaps leaving is best. Life is too short to stay in an unhappy marriage. As I say, neutral is not an option. Make your life what you want. Either make the marriage the one that makes you happy or find the life you need to live. Sweetie and I have had rough times. For us making changes and refocusing was the best. BestFriend also went through this and divorce was the best. I just think that being unhappy cannot be an option. That only brings resentment.

I truly am feeling good. I think my thyroid is normal. I am noticing the weight loss. I feel stronger with my workouts. I feel smart at work - I answered an accounting question for my boss today - yep he is a CPA. Things are good. Now I need to focus on paying my taxes - ugh still pissed that we owe, make a plan for home improvements (and a loan if needed), and keep up with my studying. If only I could function on less sleep or create more hours in the day.

This has been long. Thanks for letting me get all of that out. Not sure where this blog is going. That is the nice thing. I am in charge here and I will guide it as we go. Have a great evening. I am going to enjoy the beautiful weather with another installment of my walk/run workout.

Mario Party

We are at Mom's working on some handy man work. Sweetie and MIL are hard at work with plumbing. Mom, Bug and I are trying to stay out of the way. It is a beautiful day. I started it early with a 3 mile walk. That felt great. I took it slow and steady and enjoyed the weather, birds, and myself. I am sore today as I did some weights on Thursday night.

We received good news at work yesterday regarding WW at work. We are continuing if we meet the number required for the meeting. That would mean I would have meetings through 7/11. I think that would help a lot.

Tomorrow I am trying a walk/run program. We shall see if I am ready for it yet. I know that my knee might not be up for it yet. And reluctantly, I am ok with that. But I will never know unless I try.

And a HUGE THANK YOU to Thomas. Your comment made my day!!

I have a ton of studying to do tonight. I was hoping to get some done last night, but I got the worst headache yesterday. Sure enough, it turned into a full migraine. NOT FUN. I have not had one that bad in so long. But I was smart and brought everything with me so I can work from mom's if needed. I am determined to get this damn test over with.

check in

I am fighting getting sick. Grrrr. I really want to walk tonight, but I am not sure if I will be able to. I don't want to make myself worse. Some nasty stuff is going around the office.

A co-worker gave me the starter for the amish friendship bread. It is a 10 day process. At the end you have bread you get to eat and 4 more starters to give away. Today is day 10. I have no idea who to give my 4 starters to. It is like an edible chain letter.

I am having such trouble getting back into eating right and exericsing. I didn't take that long off, exercise 1 week and eating 3 days. But it still seems harder to get back into it. I think I just need a relaxing evening. Perhaps tonight will be the night for that.

Short and sweet. I also started my review for the REG section of the CPA last night. We shall see.

taking control

I know my blog has been boring lately, talking about happy things and so on and so forth. But here is more :-)

When I received my news on Thursday about my thyroid, I was so very happy. I cannot describe what it did to me. While there is a part of me that is nervous that in May I will be back to Graves', most of me is relieved. I feel so different. BestFriend can tell the difference when I am off and assured me before I received the results that I was normal still.

So no excuses. No excuses for not losing weight, for not being able to concentrate enough to study, for not having enough energy to keep up with things (though I have not had the extreme tiredness since getting off my meds at the beginning of Sept). I have said many times before that neutral is not an option. Not with my health, my marriage, my career, my family.... You get the idea. Idle is not productive.

But what really gets me is the impact of that call. I am so motivated to study now. Though I am blogging instead of cracking the books, but Bug is at the end of a nap and might wake any moment, and I want some quality me time. I feel like I can do anything right now. Not that everything is perfect, it isn't and never will be and quite frankly, I don't want it to be. But I feel solid, that is the only way to describe it.

With my diet I am not focusing on being thin thin. Hell, I am not even focusing on the weight guidelines from WW. Instead, I want to get to a certain number, what I weighed when my thyroid broke. My body loved that weight, as I maintained it for a number of years. It is still considered overweight, and I don't care. That might sound odd as I keep promoting healthy lifestyles and such and being overweight is a health risk and associated with several diseases. My thinking is that the BMI calculation is so flawed. If IronDiva is considered overweight, and OMG she is sooo not overweight, then there is a flaw. It doesn't take into account muscle. So if I get to this weight and I am active and feeling good that is all that matters. And so I am starting my third week of actually following WW and tracking my points and planning.

With weight loss there is needed exercise. Tell me to do an aerobics class three times a week to lose weight and I will not attend. Tell me that I need to complete a certain number of miles in a week to complete a race, I am totally there. I need a training schedule and a goal. There is something about my walking. I weighed 30 pounds heavier when I started training for the halves and was a little over 20 pounds heavier when I completed my second. When I walk I feel able, I feel healthy, and I feel peaceful. Yesterday started my 100 days to the end of the Spring Race Challenge. In my schedule Fridays are rest days. So, yesterday was easy to accomplish. I did not workout and so I was successful. Today is day 2. I did two workouts for all intents and purposes. We took MIL and Bug to the park. We played, climbed, crawled, ran, and kicked the ball. It was a good workout. However, it was not what I had on my training schedule to do. After the fun, Bug went to sleep. MIL and Sweetie went out to spend some time together and I stayed with Bug. If Bug takes a nap at home chances are that I will nap with her. If she has slept at home, I think I have taken a good 99% of the naps with her. Not today. Though I was tired and sleep would have been fun, I took the opportunity to work out. I did my p90 cardio 1-2 workout with abs. After a nice shower, I feel refreshed and accomplished.

Not only that but before getting together with MIL, I decided to clean and organize our bathroom. Our bathroom is not the guest bathroom so it gets put on the back burner. Today I decided I had enough and I did something about it. I feel so accomplished today.

SRC Day 2: P90 Cardio 1-2 & abs - complete

I swear you're just like me, sipping a cup of pity

Today Bug woke with a fever. I stayed home to be with her. That means I most likely need to go in this weekend to make up for it, but that is part of this game called being a working mom. She is napping now and I think she is feeling better.

This week has been busy. I have been so very good with my diet and exercise. Here is a recap:
Day 1 - Monday - Sculpt - felt good but owie on the push-ups and tricep dips
Day 2 - Tuesday - was sore but not overly so. Cardio - had to do the second DVD as the first was still not working, took it light and it felt good. Abs - felt it!!
Day 3 - Wednesday - sore again. Sculpt - felt stronger than on Monday. I was able to do more of the pushups and triceps.
Day 4 - Thursday - woke without being sore - YAY! Did the second cardio again and was able to do more than on Tuesday. I even saw a glimpse of my biceps :-) Abs - did more than on Tuesday.

And that brings me to Day 5. I will do my Sculpt again later tonight. I woke without soreness again. I feel like this is really going to be good for me. Sweetie has done his workouts each night. Man, his are INTENSE. My goal is to someday be able to do those workouts.

Oh and since SIL#2's wedding I have lost enough to get this: And now onto the serious part of this post. As anyone who has read this blog for any amount of time knows, I fight depression. My worse case was last fall. I am happy to see how far I have come since then. However, I realized this week that something isn't back. My lack of fear, my ability to completely take on a task without thinking twice. I have been not pushing myself. Afraid of getting hurt, physically and emotionally. The one exception to this is the Blog Blowout I attended. This has applied to my walking, workout out, cpa, you name it. And I am sick of it. No more. I am working on taking on my challenges, of taking chances, and using my body, brain, and emotions to the fullest. I am no longer going to be second guessing my abilities. I am going to put myself out there, test for the CPA, walk the 10k, and get healthy.

Off to do workout #5 now.

Post more, damnit

I was instructed to post more :-) This came from my BestFriend. She knows something is up with me when I don't post.

Work has been crazy busy and the next two weeks are likely to have a lot of overtime. This is due to good things. I don't want to post about any of it until it is concrete - but it is good. That and the auditors that were due back in February are finally here. Yay, nothing like being very busy and then add having to answer questions about ledgers that were created by the person before you.

This brings me to the CPA. I am Superwoman. Yes, I am. OK, fine, I am not Superwoman, but I tend to have a Superwoman complex. I can do it all. But you hit a point when priorities have to be reevaluated. Yes, I could pass this test. Yes, I could study and study and study and accomplish that goal. But at what cost? I put my all into school. I have been there and done that. Studied and studied while working. And you want to know the truth, my marriage suffered. There were other factors at play, but it left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I am easily stressed. When I get stressed, I get bitchy. No one likes a bitchy Missy. And now it isn't just about Sweetie and me. There is a little girl involved.

I made a decision today. I would rather postpone the test and not miss out on five weeks of my family. Well, I don't like the term postpone. The truth is that I am not postponing any of my studying. I am only changing my testing date. I am not saying that I am postponing the test and not starting to study until later. Nope, the studying is still happening. Sweetie and I agree that testing later and making sure that I am ready with less stress (though there will always be stress associated with the test) would be best. This way I am not trying to force so much into my limited time. The bottom line is that there are four sections. And even if I tested with the original plan I would start studying again for the next section that next week. OK I am rambling. But it is a good thing. And I feel better.

After this decision was made, you know what I did tonight? I walked again and listened to another 2 lectures. Yep, told you that I still on with the studying. Today was the second walk during my second walk of my 10k training. Tonight's walk felt GREAT. I swore that I was flying - though my time was only like 6 seconds sooner. While I might not have been faster, I did walk better and I ended feeling charged and not worn out. While I had some sweat, I wasn't totally red and dying.

This was a good thing as when I got home Sweetie was in the driveway with a co-worker and the co-worker's son and future DIL. Sweetie did a business card for the son and in return is getting his motorcycle looked at. It should be back up and running very soon. YAY!

OK I think that is all that I can post now. Time to go to sleep. This is my boy, Bob, with Bug. He is the BEST kitty to snuggle while sleeping.

wearing sunglasses in the rain

Oh where oh where has Missy gone? Things are busy at work, I am trying to focus on studying, all the while enjoying my family. That leaves me little time. Over the weekend we finished Mom's garage. Now the record breaking rain needs to stop so construction can begin.

I also purchased my outfit for SIL#2's wedding. Since it is an outdoor wedding in mid July, I went very summery - bright colors and light fabrics.

And I have been busy with exporting the audio from my cpa review lectures. This way I can listen while I walk. Might sound boring to most, but it is motivating to me. Work out and study at the same time. And I walked three times last week and again this morning - though today was the first day with my new audio technique. I am on track for my 10k training.

Things have just been busy. And I am stressed. I get bitchy when I get stressed. Blah. Oh, and I got my crown today - yay no more temporary crown.

I am just having one of those weeks where I feel like a supporting character in my life. Don't worry, nothing huge. I am sure it is the combination of the relief of finding out that I am healthy and needing to focus on the test.

But these allergies are killing me and my throat hurts. I had to get some ice-cream to help with that.

I could just use a vacation right about now. Which means we need to start planning for our family vacation this year. This year's theme is the opposite of last year, relaxation all the way.

sorry, just need to vent

It is Saturday morning and I am up before my family. That just isn't right. So I find myself here. I am feeling blue. I hate it. Yes, it is over my health. I know everything will be ok. Let's face it, whatever it is, it will be ok. I am strong, I can take it all. I just feel like I have no control right now. The worst part is being told "it will be ok" or other generic statements. I know it is meant well. But I am the type of person who does not live on statements like "it will be ok", I want a plan of attack, I want to know HOW to make it ok. And I have yet to hear a doctor say "don't worry, it is nothing" or "it will be ok" so I have been a little distracted.

This CPA thing is bugging me to no end. I am stressing on it. Do I postpone, or continue? I need to know what to do as I have 6 weeks to complete my studying. And Sweetie, while I love him, is driving me nuts. I told him I was stressed about the test and he said "you will pass it wonderfully". That is not what I want to hear, I want a brainstorming session where we plan how I can pass while my body is tired and my brain is distracted. I have consulted four people on the subject. Two say to postpone now regardless of the outcome on Thursday and focus on health and to test when my kids are older. Two say to push through and use it as a distraction from everything else, that I should use it as something I can control. I hate decisions.

My eye twitch returned. It means I am stressed. Then Mom finds stress can elevate your WBC. Great.

Today is the Keep Austin Weird 5k. I am not looking forward to it. Yes, my friends will be there, but I want to sit in my hole until Thursday. I know that isn't healthy. It is just how I am feeling. Being around friends will be good.

Mom and I figure, as no one had heard of Graves' before I was diagnosed, that I have some rare disease that I will get to explain every time I tell someone. Nothing as well known as cancer. LoL, I guess you would have to be there because this truly got us laughing. Not that cancer is anything to laugh at.

Thursday night Mom hung out with us as I needed her, and she is the best after all. I told everyone that I needed to get out of the house so we went to dinner. After dinner we came out to find the most beautiful double and full rainbow ever. I took it as my sign that I am going to be ok. And if you were in Austin that night and saw it, I hope you liked my sign. I am good and I share. Actually, it brought some huge smiles my way and made me try to follow it - the gold would be nice about now- and we ended up getting Gelato. mmm mmmm peanut butter cup gelato.

It is 9:45 and I just had someone come to the door. I peeped out the peep hole and see two suites with their little note pads and address books. Look, don't come to my house before 10 on a Saturday. I did not answer. I should still be sleeping after all.

Yes, I am in a mood.

Father's day is tomorrow. I need to do some shopping today. And the grocery store. UGH. And Sweetie hasn't figured out what he wants to do yet. Blah.

OK I think I have vented enough. I am going to go and get dressed for the day, hopefully that will help the mood.

shopping always helps

Appointment tomorrow is still scheduled. I got the retest results today. While the WBC is lower, it is still high. Blah. I hate waiting. I hate wondering. I know it is just the meds, but still. I don't want yet another doctor, I don't want to go through another weekend not knowing. My appointment is at 4:15. There is no way that I am going to walk out of there knowing anything. And Fridays are always hard to get answers. Luckily Saturday is Keep Austin Weird, so that will be a nice distraction with many friends.

So I called my Endo yesterday and spoke to the nurse - as she is the one who calls me with my results and is my first line of contact. I told her my GP said my levels were too high and that I was hypo according to the new standards. She responded with "She (the Endo) is the expert". I said that I knew and reexplained the new standards. The nurse responded the same "well, she is the expert and if she said for your meds to stay the same then your meds need to stay the same". She didn't follow it up with "would you like to speak with her" or anything like that. I finished the call with "ok then, I might be looking for a new endo". UGH. I will call back after tomorrow's appointment and speak directly with the doctor. However, I have been looking and found my next doctor if it comes to that. Needless to say, this did not make my day wonderful.

I hate the unknown. I can handle anything, I am strong. However, I just need to know what it is. I am sure that tomorrow's appointment will result in me off my meds. I am ok with that. However, I know what Graves' did to me before. I remember the fuzzy brain, not being able to think of words, and things not making sense. I totally thought, at the time, it was new-mommy brain. But when the meds started working and I got my brain back, it was like night and day. I am ok with being in this state as we determine the right path for me. However, I worry about being able to study for the CPA. I hate.hate.hate putting it off again. But I do not want to fail when my brain isn't mine and waste the money. Does that make sense? But at the same time I do not want to postpone simply due to fear. UGH!

I am just tired of waiting. It seems it is all I do, waiting for the next blood test, waiting for results, waiting for the next doctor. I want to just be healthy. Is that too much to ask for?

In other news, I went out during lunch and found a potential dress for SIL#2's wedding. It fits nicely but with a little loss would fit better. And the best part, it was less than twenty dollars. It was cheap enough that even if I decide against it for the wedding that I needed it for potential other outings, like Sweetie's b-day. And because I bought a slinky dress, I got a salad for lunch. See I am taking control of what I can control.

Please send positive thoughts my way around 4:15 tomorrow.

10 Years

Prepare yourself for an emotional post today. Today marks 10 years since we lost Sweetie's dad. Ten years, a decade has passed, yet I remember that day all too well. So today is a hard day. Today makes us think about what we do not have and appreciate what we do. Luckily, I thoroughly believe that Bug already met her grandpas in heaven.

Today I have been living 10 years ago. I know the exact weight I was, the purse that I bought that day, the TV show we were watching when we got the call. It all feels so real still. Then I am back in reality and thinking of everything that has changed since that night.

I am not going to recreate that night. It was emotional. Rather I am going to leave it with this, please hug and kiss your loved ones today. You just never know. We miss you, Chuck!

So today is about life, today is about family, today is about being happy you are alive. BestFriend and I registered for the LiveStrong Challenge. We got hasty and registered before realizing the half off was for tomorrow only. Oh well, a good cause. If you are going to participate, register tomorrow so you can register two for one. Sweetie is going to do it as well. I am doing it in Honor of Deb. She is my Cancer-ass-kicking hero. If you wish to donate, you can go to my fundraising page. The Austin 5k is Oct 14th. Woo Hoo, getting healthy!

Tonight is my first workout of my 24 week training plan for the IBM 10k. I cannot wait. I always schedule to walk in the morning, notice I said schedule and not actually walk because getting out of bed is so very hard. But Sweetie loves our family walks so much that he requested to for me to walk in the evenings with him as we did to prepare for Chuys/Daisy. It is good for him too. And it is good for us as we get some time to chat and be silly.

Other than that I am still cranking away on my studying. This test just covers SO MUCH. I guess that is why it is the hardest section. I cannot wait to test and be done with it. The good part is that I am watching a lot of videos at this point and I am finding them very interesting. I know that is just sick.

I hope everyone has a great day today. Remember to hug and kiss on those you love. I was very lucky as today is Tuesday. On Tuesdays Sweetie goes into work early and Bug and I sleep later and snuggle. That is a great way to start a day.

Three Days Until Chuys

Last night turned out to be a great night. Mom came over for GG - not happy with that episode. Sweetie made us sandwiches as we were out of the right kind of cheese for grilled cheese. Then after she left we walked 3 miles. I am so ready for this weekend's 5ks. I may be slow, but it won't kill me, I am not even sore. After the walk, I had the best shower and I watched an hour of CPA review videos. YAY. As we were getting ready for bed I grabbed my foot lotion. Sweetie was so sweet and offered to apply the lotion for me. My feet felt great. And, as his whole intention, the foot massage led to more cardio - heehee. This of course led to not being tired. We finished our day with playing the Wii. Walking, long shower, productivity, massage, and fun with Sweetie- who could ask for a better night.

I also had a bit of a scare. MotoDiva gave Bug a beautiful silk robe on Sunday while we were at Billy's dinner. We, of course, forgot it there. I searched the house, the car, asked MotoDiva if she had it. Nope we were too focused on Bug and left it on the table. Luckily, I called today and they had it. YAY. So my lunch was spent driving to Round Rock to get her robe. I am not complaining, I am just happy we got it back. That would have sucked.

My emotions are all over the place this week. That makes it hard to focus. But I am having another good day and that makes me happy.

Now I am faced with an ethical issue. My boss is out and his boss left early. Hmmm what ever shall I do. Yep, I am going to sneak out.

Brain Dump

Brain dump time.

~Yesterday was a sad day. Blah. I hate those. But today is much better and that is my focus.

~Yesterday, MIL came over for dinner. She had a hard day as she took her dad, Sweetie's Grandpa, to a home. More on that later. It was an emotional day. I hope Bug was able to help.

~This past weekend proved that there are going to be some situations with BestFriend and James where one doesn't want to go because the other will be there. Blah is all I have to say to that.

~Today is a happy day. 15 years ago today I met my husband. 15 years ago tonight is when he went home and told his parents that he met the woman he was going to marry. Man, I love him. I am so very happy I went to that party and got into that hot tub.

~This weekend I get to walk in two 5ks. I am so excited. Other than that, Mother's Day is going to be relaxing. My request is my walk, family time, and a romantic bubble bath.

~In less than a month Bug turns 2. How is that possible? She is such a little person now. She was dancing for us last night. It was hilarious. She says things, thinks things, has opinions, and has a sense of humor - so amazing.

~Monday starts my training for my 10k. My knee has been bothering me so I am going to focus on walking and not adding the jogging just yet.

~My cramping is back. Blah. I don't know what this means as far as my Graves'. I am at a completely loss at this point as to what my symptoms mean. Overall the cramps are not as bad as they were last year, but waking to neck cramps was something I was not missing.

~I go back and give blood in another month. I am not getting my hopes up for a med reduction, but it would be nice.

~I am still working on my study schedule. I hope this week proves more productive than last week, but no worries. I refuse to get all anal about each minute spent studying. That only leads to un-productivity for me.

~Tonight is Gilmore Girls - only two episodes left - and grilled cheese. mmm mmmm good.

Committed

I am committed. I received my Notice to Schedule today. All is set. I got the day that I wanted, 7/28/07 at 8:00am. YAY. And I know I am bad, I said I would post a picture and I didn't. Last night was busy with Bug and watching a huge storm. My little trooper is going to be a storm chaser I swear, during the highlight of the hail, thunder, lightening, and rain - she wanted to go outside. No fear!

money money mon-ey

This whole technology thing is cool. I paid my "please sir, may I test" fee yesterday and received my email telling me to pay for the test today. Another $176 down. Yikes, they nickle and dime you. The old way you had to snail mail the $70 and wait for a snail mail response telling you to pay. So this was fast. I got all nervous as I paid, hoping that I could get the testing day and time that I am wanting. I submit payment and expect a scheduling window. Nope, I get a window that says "thanks for paying us, you will receive your Notice To Schedule within 14 days". WHAT??? I have to wait longer to know for sure when this torture will be over? Not fair.

And I solved my issue with the review site. The popups weren't popping, well up. I knew I had a popup blocker - using work computer for this as MicroCrap no longer supports IE for Mac. I go to my popup blocker set up and add the page as a "safe for popups". Doesn't help. I close out, restart, get back in. It doesn't help. At this point I am frustrated as the popup windows are what grade the questions and let you know a slightly important thing like if you answered the question correctly. That is when I realized it was my google toolbar that was blocking the pop ups. HA! So it is all fixed. YAY!

So I realize that this whole CPA experience might not be the most exciting, but that is going to be my life for a little while. I will try to put some interesting comments from time to time, I promise.

Like how I have 10 days to prepare for my two 5ks on Mother's Day weekend. I am excited about that. Then I begin my training for the IBM 10k. At least that is the goal now. It is enough of a distance that it should serve as motivation for exercising even when stressed but not too long of a distance that would require long hours of training.

Sweetie is so awesome. I was complaining about feeling like I am already behind and it is only week one. He told me that he is going to do everything possible to make sure that I feel caught up. Which, I am not sure what more he could do - other than playing with Bug when I study on the weekends - as I have kept my princess status. Yep, the princess pregnancy has lasted almost over 2.5 years. HA! I am not complaining. For those of you who are new, when I was pregnant, Sweetie took over ALL chores and cooking - I worked full time and was finishing my MBA when I was pregnant so he wanted things stress free. Things have kind of stayed that way. I mean I do more now than I did then, but overall he does a TON, I am so very lucky for that. He loves to pamper and it is in times like this that I am so grateful.

Of course, as I write this I find out he has to work late tonight. Kind of funny, I am writing about him pampering me and find out he is in need of his own pampering. So I told him not to worry about a thing and that Bug and I will take him dinner. It really doesn't change my study time for tonight as I study after Bug goes to sleep. But he feels guilty and I won't let that happen. Poor guy, you can only be pulled in so many directions.

I don't know what it is, but I am in a great mood today. I am feeling good about life. Now I must sneak out and get that girl of mine. She is so big. I will post pictures of her hair when I get home. I think it is too cute. But everyone else cannot believe Sweetie let me do it - heehee. I should be in radio, that was a good teaser, right?

bear feet

To me there is nothing better than being in the kitchen getting ready for the work day when your little girl is in the other room playing. And everything goes silent. And then you hear scuffling. And when you look up you see your almost 2 year old in your bear slippers coming out of your bedroom. I love it. I just died laughing. As this is Sweetie's early morning, he missed it. And I was bad and too busy enjoying the sight to take a picture.

CPA update - yesterday the class started. I took the diagnostic test. It only took me half the time. The reason is that it is a multiple choice test and if I didn't know the material right away I skipped the question. I wanted a true assessment of what I know now, which is little. But that is ok, as I will relearn it and feel confident. I need to read two chapters tonight. This week is owner's equity and cash as well as marketable securities & receivables Fun!

This class is going to be more demanding than I expected. They suggest 20 hours of study a week. I was hoping for 7. This just makes me even happier that I am taking the slower route. I can do it. I can do it.

And I paid my "please can I take this test" fee. It was actually 70 and not 75. And they have it online so it was nice and painless. Now I wait for my testing authorization code and I can schedule the test. Yay!

I gots a box, now I need some back

As promised, a picture from my pinhole camera. Well, it is my pinhole camera. However, it is actually my digital placed inside my pinhole as we could not get the items needed to make my baby work properly. Based on this photo, I am excited about getting all the needed items. Yesterday was a busy family day. We went to Wolf camera. They were not the nicest people. We mentioned pinhole camera and we got a look like we were idiots for not using the latest technology. Hello, this is an art, and pinhole is an art as well. We were sent to Precision Camera.

Due to a Bug falling asleep in the car and being spontaneous, we went to Barton Creek Mall. This is a trek for us. I used to work close by there, but since getting my current job, anything more than 5 miles seems so.very.far. And since gas prices hit 2.79, we decided it was time for a road trip - please note sarcasm. One of the reasons we went to the mall was due to the Apple Store - I am trying to decide if I NEED a shuffle for my walks, and we needed to look up the address for Precision Camera and they are hooked up to the internet. See, I have a point here.
The people at Precision Camera were awesome. The minute we mentioned the camera they were intrigued. We brought it in (as we were prepared and had it in the car) and the first comment was "this looks exciting". Long story short, or well not as long, we need to purchase a backing from polaroid. This isn't bad, but it is $200. Then we will be set up. Sweetie is very excited about it. I love it. MIL came over last night and he went on and on about how he can't wait to see what I do when we have it fully functional. And then we laughed as he gave it to me at the start of the CPA process and it is the exact opposite of what he is getting me when I pass all four sections. When I pass, I get what the bitches so nicely refer to as a BAMF, a digital SLR.
After our fun, we needed a nap. All three of us are suffering from bad allergies, they are allergies and nothing more. I honestly think that is the case, all snot is clear with my group - I know TMI. But I cannot help but worry. And I am pretty sure Bug lost one of her tubes yesterday and she has been complaining about her ear. Ugh.

Today has been our normal errands and a family walk. Tomorrow starts my CPA review. I am nervous, but also excited. It is just a matter of getting our schedule in sync. Sweetie is beyond helpful and offering any help that will ensure success. I need to make sure to send off my "may I please take the CPA test" form with my $75. It is so silly. I am already approved application wise, but I have to fill out this form each time before I plan to sit. Such is life.

Close call there, Alias started coming on the TV. Sweetie HATES Alias. I had to change it fast, lol.

Pee Pee in the Potty!!!

Guess who went pee pee on the potty this morning? Uh Huh, my Bug. Who is so very awesome? My Bug! I won't bore you with the mom talk, but I have to share. We have not started the potty training officially. We have a kid's potty to get her interest and we let her sit on it whenever she wants, but no expectations. This morning she wanted her diaper off and she went to her bathroom on her own, and peed. So very excited. We are going out tonight to get some panties so we are prepared. She told me that she wants pink, blue, and princess, but no purple. She is really getting big.

The last two weeks have been crazy at work. I am finally caught up. well, kinda caught up. I have plenty still to do. But the main project that I was cleaning up is clean. Now I can get back to my monthly financials.

CPA review is ready to start, password received and works. YAY. Starting Monday, I will have 7 weeks of professor led studies and then 6 weeks of self study to review what I still don't know. I have to admit, I am a little scared. I have not looked at this stuff in so long. And so much has happened in my life since then that I think I forgot everything. If only what I do in the real world in accounting was on the test. Nope, it is mostly things from school and what those in audit firms should know. Oh well, such is life. I just want that 75.

This weekend we are going to Wolf Camera to get the needed items for my pinhole camera. Sweetie told me that he loves my photography and that is why he bought it for me. I cannot wait to experiment with it. No worries, I will scan the results.

Did I mention that I am tired of being tired? Well, I am!