even I stumble
I fall hard and hurt like hell
how do I focus?

doubt abilities
things I want to do must wait
must dig deeper now

much disappointment
must pick myself off the ground
I must try again

Taking a break

Just a quick drop in -

• I have been crazy busy studying
• L is now pulling up to standing and letting go without falling right away - yikes
• Bug is awesome as awesome sauce - she still amazes me daily
• She and I have a girls' day planned for after my test
  
• Sweetie has been AMAZING - he is the best husband ever, he supports me, makes me laugh, and dreams with me
• After my test, I have a "to-do" list that is a mile long
• Can't think about that now
• Before my test on Friday I am going to my school to finish my last minute studies and to ground me - I figure the place where I did my best is the perfect location
• I have my work weigh in on Thursday since I won't be at work Friday
• Looks like I am not paying once again - down 34.2 since after L - woot
• I am back to the weight I was when I joined the at work weight watchers Nov 2007
• Now it is nearly 12 and I must get to bed - night night
  

When you arrive at a cliff, look across and see a beautiful landscape, do you walk all the way around safely or do you gather quickly what you can to make a glider, run, close your eyes, and jump?

Nothing in particular, just an urge.

smiles

I am having the best weekend. I completed the first race since Thanksgiving 2008. And I am happy to say that I did awesome. L was great and never made a noise, and I was able to cross the finish with Bug and Sweetie. I know a 5k isn't a big race, but it was a big one to me. It proved to me that I can do it, that I am back in the game.

And with my weight, everyone seems to have noticed it this week. It makes me smile and want to keep going. That is why I ate a healthy brunch after the race, and why I chose fruit while studying this morning at Starbucks.

Now off to finish my weekend with my family.

Put your hand up

Come on everybody, everybody clap their hands..
Can you give me a M-I-S-S-Y, alright now, Can you give me a R-U-L-E-S
That's right, that's right, everybody clap your hands

Hee hee - Sorry, but I am not one to toot my own horn, so this is where I do it.

Yesterday, when I weighed in I hit my mini goal of 30 pounds - 30.2 actually :-) This makes me so happy - only 2 pounds left for the work 10 pound challenge. Next goal - to weigh what I did at SIL's wedding in Jul '07. This one isn't far as I am only 1 pound away. I picked goals that I could relate to and strive for ex. weight at graduation, weight starting HES, so on and so forth. Some are closer together than others, but it works for me.

And true to form, have me see good results and I stray. I had icecream last night, high lunch today - but I made sure to count it all - not going to stop now. And honestly, when I entered everything into the computer, I felt in control again.

I need to update my sidebar with my new weight goals - currently I am 13 weeks and 9 pounds away from my anniversary goal.

all around me

Last night was a date night for Sweetie and me. We went to a free showing of Social Network by Gowalla. It was fun. While this is not my first Gowalla event, it is the first one since I joined as a user. And this event was the first time that my alias was mentioned. Sweetie made sure those he knew knew my name on the game. Before the movie, we went with a friend to have a drink. It was a lot of fun and I felt like I was doing an adult event, lol. And yes, I tracked every point. This has been a high week, Boca de Beppo on Thursday and Alamo Drafthouse on Friday - but I did awesome. It wasn't until today and I ordered a hamburger at sonic that I went over. Damn 13 point burger. Somehow in my brain it was going to be 6 or 7. It is all good, no worries.

Today was busy and laid back at the same time. Sweetie had a 5k this morning with BestFriend. We then had a b-day party for a friend from Bug's old school. While I adore our new school, I miss our little group. I need to make sure we all get together more often, for the girls and for the moms. We then had a soccer game. It was a good match and a beautiful day. L was awesome and played on a blanket with me while looking cute, not too hard at all.

It is funny, I have been blogging for six years now. Sometimes often, sometimes not so often, but always has been the same blog. Even though in this time friends have come and gone who know this address, I have not changed it. I really don't care what they think, I have nothing to hide. However, it is always a little odd for me when a friend/relative says "I read your blog". Yes, I put it all out here for the whole world to read, but in my mind no-one does. H told me today that I look good and complimented the weight loss. She then told me she reads my blog. *Hello H hope I am not boring you too much* And regardless of who it is that says this, even BestFriend, I instantly start thinking "what have I written lately, should I be embarrassed?" The answer is always no as I don't write anything that would truly embarrass me. I think the main thing is I don't consider myself interesting enough to have anyone want to read what I have to say. I am not as gifted as Katie (if you are looking for a fun blog to read, this is a great one), I just write for myself.

OK back to the your regularly scheduled programming. I should be studying. I will. But man it is amazing what I feel motivated to do while procrastinating studying, I want to clean out the pantry, sort laundry, clean out closets. So I was thinking today - why is this? I know this stuff for the most part, I just need a crash course in some of the formulas and definitions. But what if I don't pass? This is the second time to take this test. And failing the first time - regardless of the technical difficulties that occurred that threw me off my game, it was still seeing those words at the end of the test "FAIL". I want this certification so badly. I am at a place where I feel that I need to pass. OK enough of this, I have seen the lovely words "PASS" on the first test and I can do it again.

Now I am off to do a mock exam.