moving slowly but thankful

Currently I am sitting in the middle of heb waiting on Sweetie to return. I am having some pain - nothing scary - so I am moving slowly. I am an emotional wreck this holiday season. Thanksgiving was wonderful. We are getting close to having a name for this little bundle. As with bug, we are not saying names until we are set - we don't want reactions to change our minds.
Today we are decorating the tree. I cannot wait. The house is still in chaos with the flooring and such - but the tree area is clean. I need to upload pics too, I got some great ones of thanksgiving.

So much for posting daily

The flooring isn't going as quickly as I planned. We had to unhook the modem on Monday due to moving the desk from the living room - hence no blogging for two days. A ton was accomplished last night. I love love love it.

Today was my 20 week appointment with my regular OB. Sweetie couldn't make it - the first appointment he has missed. But I had Bug so I was set. She laid next to me on the table while they did an ultrasound. He kicked for her and she LOVED it. She really is going to be a great big sister. I cannot wait.

But first we have to change his room into a bedroom. This means taking everything out that is in there. This is going to be a task. Once we do this we will be able to move some of Bug's furniture into Baby's room and get her new items. Since we have baby items we are using this opportunity to get her big girl items that help make her feel special.

Thanksgiving is at SIL's MIL's house again this year. I cannot wait. Bug and I are going to make some food for the fun while Sweetie and MIL do the turkey trot. I just am not up for it this year.

Today I am thankful for a Dr that makes me feel comfortable, taking time from work, and for rainbows.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I will try to get on tomorrow and post my pictures. I have been taking my one a day, just haven't been able to post them.

All things good

Today my thanks focus towards my family and home. Sweetie is working on redoing our floors. We have wanted to for years but for one reason or another did not. Well, my Christmas is coming early. With the help of his uncle, Sweetie is installing flooring for us. It makes me so happy. They didn't get as far as expected due to all of the angles in our house, but I am very impressed with the results. Hopefully the remainder will be done this week so I can start Christmas decorating.

I am thankful for a home where I can install flooring. I am thankful for Sweetie and his willingness to give up a weekend to make me happy. And even though I am having such sciatic pain that I almost fell down today, I am even thankful for that. It means that I am lucky enough to experience this wonderful pregnancy. I just have to accept that I will never be the running around with a bump kind of pregnant lady who is running around like nothing is different, lol.

I am in a great place right now. This is very welcome.

Another

I am beyond thankful for my wonderful and awesome husband. He takes the best care of me and our family. I only hope that someday he understands how much he means to me.

Thankful

I have been posting daily what I am thankful for on FB. However, here I can go into more detail than a simple status message. I am so very thankful this year. Normally I do a post at Thanksgiving. However, this year, there is so much going on, I feel I need more. My goal is to post one a day until Thanksgiving, with a total of 7 :-)

First, I am thankful for baby beats heart rate monitor. My friend DarkDiva gave me hers when I was pregnant with Bug. I used it twice. We didn't have the fear of a miscarriage as we do with this one. Wednesday night we were cleaning for some upcoming home improvements. I found the monitor. Of course I had to try it. Hearing his heartbeat was wonderful. Of course, this is for "entertainment purposes only" and is not a full medical declaration of health. And, if he moves to another area, the battery on the device is low, or who knows what else, you won't be able to find the heartbeat. I know from the expecting boards that this is common. However, last night when we experienced this, it caused some worry. Please know there were no other signs of anything bad. We took to bed early that night trying to remind ourselves that everything is fine. Sweetie and Bug took turns singing and talking to my belly. Apparently it worked, as I was getting ready for sleep, I felt him kick. Nothing strong yet, but movement nevertheless. I left work a little early today and stopped by CVS for a new battery and much needed Reece's peanut butter trees (but that is another story about how by the time I got home two were gone). I came home and with the new battery looked for his wonderful life beat again. Sure enough I found it. I am so happy to hear him. I am so lucky to have nearly twice as many appointments as I did with Bug. I have had 7 ultrasounds. My next dr appointment is Wednesday. But this reassurance is very much appreciated.

Day 6

Day 6
Originally uploaded by daisymouse

Shopping Day! Today was a great one. Even though I had to go a little slower - thanks to my sciatic nerve. Nevertheless, we accomplished a lot and had fun chatting.

Now I am tired, but happy.

If you want to see days 2-5, click on the photo to go to my photostream.

Day 1

Day 1
Originally uploaded by daisymouse

I am attempting the 365 challenge once again. Fun fun. I uploaded the first 5 days. My goal is to document my 34th year. Day one began with my 33rd b-day.

This was a present from Sweetie and Bug. I asked for a tree as it symbolizes our growing family.

18 weeks and going strong

Today was the big anatomy ultrasound for 18 weeks. Everything looks good. I am so happy. His heart rate is at 160 and strong. This time he did some beautiful kicks for us. And, yes, they confirmed he is a boy. While the last appointment said he was as well as the 3D scan – I was still concerned that after getting Bug on board with a boy that he would turn out to be a girl, lol. Luckily, that was not the case. The Dr said he is a “fat boy” due to his weight being 6% higher than the average at this age. He had no concerns at all and said he looks very healthy. He declared my pregnancy on cruise control and for me to continue as planned. This makes me very happy. Next step? Next week I get my thyroid tested and see my Endo.

This weekend was wonderful. While Bug and I did not feel well on Saturday morning, we were feeling better come evening. We hung out with BestFriend for a little bit and watched Bug sing on a microphone for the first time.

Yesterday was even more fun. We were feeling better so we headed out for our normal chores. As we were driving past the mall we noticed a big top. Sure enough a small circus was in town. We decided spontaneity is the key to life and bought tickets. Really, Sweetie was the one who insisted we do it right then. He loves nothing more in this world than to make her smile. This was Bug’s first circus and she loved it. The elephants and clowns were her favorite. She enjoyed cotton candy, popcorn, and face painting. It was pouring when we arrived, without an umbrella, of course. By the time we left and made it through the mud, we were a little chilly. The solution was hot chocolate. Bug was very serious through the whole event. It wasn’t until we left and she began chatting away about the fun that we knew she had a blast. When I was dropping her off at school this morning she was telling all her friends and it made me smile so big.

I can already tell that this Christmas is going to be awesome. She is so big. I know we originally wanted our kids closer in age. But this is so perfect for us. She is talking about brother a ton. She offers up her baby things for him to use, is deciding what she wants to teach him, and already naming him. Right now it is Mo – from the WallE.

Happy

I am happy. Things are progressing in the organizing department. Work is crazy busy, but I have a plan. Due to system changes and the audit, I am very behind. Don't get me wrong, I am not being given a hard time over it or anything - I just know what needs to be done.

We have our next appointment on Monday. This is the anatomy scan. I cannot wait to see little cricket again.

Next week is also my birthday. YAY. I don't know what it is, but I am so very happy about this one. Nothing major planned, just dinner with family. But truly that is all I need.

Halloween 2009

just some girl time

Sweetie is hanging out with MIL so it is just me and Bug. We are enjoying some noodles and grapes - we are very simple at times :-) We planned on some baking tonight, but that will depend on Bug. If she isn't in the mood, no big deal. The goal is to relax.

I cannot even express how happy I am to be past the nausea. While I am still suffering some fatigue, being able to eat and drink again is pure bliss. That doesn't mean that I am functioning at full force, sciatic nerve pain has already started and I tire very easily.

Things are a little stressed, but we will survive, as we always do. I have faith that what is meant to be will happen. The main thing is that I want Sweetie happy. He deserves it.

In other news, I am so excited about tomorrow. Bug and I will both be witches. We are going to SIL's again and plan to have a grand time. I hope to get pics uploaded this weekend of the fun.

16 week appointment

We went to my 16 week appointment today. They did an unexpected sonogram to see if they could see sex. The first half the NP thought girl, then the baby rolled over and showed more. She declared that she thinks it is a boy, but nothing certain and that I would find out in 2 weeks at my anatomy scan. Bug heard her say boy and started crying saying that it was a girl. The crying wasn't in a fit sort of way, but very sad. She had Sweetie pick her up and she cried into his shoulder. He, understandably, just wanted to be able to say that it was a girl.

The not knowing for sure killed me. I called the 3/4d ultrasound place a friend went to. I figured if I couldn't get an appointment in before my anatomy scan on the 9th, it wasn't meant to be. Well, they got me in before the 9th. In fact, they got me in today. It was awesome. A sonogram without stress or worry - YAY. Baby was lying just like me with his arms behind his head. This is funny as there is a picture of Bug as a new born with both of our arms behind our head as we slept.

She confirmed what I heard that morning. She stated that she was 99.8% sure that it is a BOY! Yay. We were sure that Bug was a boy. When we found out the sex we were so thrown we took the remainder of the day off. This time we thought it was a girl and once again got thrown off. Goes to show, we don't know much - lol. We are thrilled and happy and excited. Honestly, I am just over the top after seeing strong legs, beating heart, and knowing the sex. I feel like yet another layer of the scared coat that I have been wearing was lifted. I feel like I can shop now, and bond fully with my son.

No worries about Bug. By the time we got home, she was good with the whole baby brother concept.

Happy

Life is good. No cramping all weekend. I had a great time with my friends on Saturday night. Plus my Brother is back from Alaska. I missed him so much and am so happy he is back.

I smiled a lot this weekend. Sweetie was the source of much of it. He made sure I had fun and laughed while also resting. I have to say, there is nothing that makes me happier than watching him be a father. He walks on his hands, dances silly, and carries her around just to hear her laugh. Yes, I am in a hormonal/emotional state. I am simply feeling much love for my family :-)

Next appointment is Tuesday. I will let everyone know how it goes.

time to chill

So nothing major to report. But I have been having some minor cramping. I told Sweetie that I thought it was due to me needing to drink more water. I called the nurse today and they had me do a urine test to rule out bladder infection. Good news, it came back clean. The nurse instructed me to rest some this weekend and make sure to up my fluid intake. Sounds good to me.

We have a crazy weekend planned, but not too much. We have soccer in the morning, a baby shower to attend for an ex-teacher of Bug's, and then back to Gumbos to listen to BestFriend's boyfriend. Sitting, eating good food, and listening to wonderful music - that is my kind of rest.

frustration

I may be the same weight I was when I got pregnant with Bug, but things are very different this time. I am sick just like with her. But I am having the back pain, lack of sleep, and utter exhaustion after standing much earlier. Please do not take this as complaining about my situation.

Sink is still clean, been doing a little housework every night (trying not to focus on what still needs to be done), and trying to listen to my body and rest when needed. Sweetie is amazing and has been cooking and cleaning for me. He is very protective of me and I have to admit that I love it. If I mention any cramping or exhaustion he sends me to rest. My next Dr appt is on Tuesday.

I just need to get past the frustration. I can only do what I can do. I am different from everyone else and need to accept that. My dry eyes have been very bad this week. That is something I look forward to after having my baby - being able to treat my disease. Since we were trying they would not prescribe anything worthwhile. In many ways I feel like I have been pregnant for well over a year. After the miscarriage we knew that we would be trying again with the first of the year. This meant nothing crazy medicine or diet wise.

OK enough complaining. I am happy - I just need a good night sleep :-)

while my reports run

I think I am going to hop over here and work on some more me time. It does help to write things out.

I am doing better. So far the sink has been clean for two days - this is the first step with Flylady. And last night I did my 15 minutes of laundry. Not much, but a huge start. Tonight is more of the same. However, we are attacking our living/dining/kitchen area. We need a new fridge and in order for that to happen, some organization needs to occur.

A new fitness challenge starts this week. I am hoping to complete this one. No worries, all easy going exercise for me.

OK funny story. Bug and I were having a bit of a disagreement about show and tell and getting ready for school. On the way she said "mom, we are fighting". I couldn't say anything but "yes, honey I think we are." She is getting big. The most wonderful and frustrating part is that she understands so much now. She is so excited for baby - aka Cricket. She wants her (no sex determined yet, Bug just claims she is a girl) to come out now and play. We were discussing Christmas and I told her that I want to do a ton of crafts and baking as I want this Christmas very special for her. She asked me why, and not in a "saying it to hear myself say it" way but in an honest question. I explain that next Christmas is going to be very special with a new babybrothersister, but that this is her last Christmas with just her. I just love her so much. She is my awesome little friend.

Speaking of which, I need to go and get her.

me and my brain

I am overwhelmed. It is true. I worry about being able to juggle two kiddos, keep the house clean, keep up at work, and all other things that go along with where I am in my pregnancy. That and even with the 12 week appointment past us, I am still so scared of a loss. And honestly, the last things I want to hear are "it will work out" or "you can do it".

The bottom line is that since the miscarriage we have let our house go. It became very obvious to me today as I looked around and took in the status. I tried to show a brave face, hell I even convinced myself, but the loss got to me greatly. We let the house go, stopped inviting people over because of it, hung out with others less, and clung to each other as we healed. There is good and bad to this situation. I feel we are stronger for it but also feel disconnected from some friends. We have become bad about waiting for the invitations from others but not extending our own. I plan to change this.

I had a weepy day today. I cried and had to really think about things and a plan. We spent the day at a b-day party and then a nap. I refuse to beat myself up for not cleaning when that was such a great nap :-) So what I did was get a load of laundry going and completed FlyLady day one and I shined my sink. It is beautiful. It is a start.

pregnant brain and yay

First, let's do the yay. Today we sent in the tax return I have been working on and that the audit was all about, yay. Big relief.

And yes, the pregnant brain has started. It is real, and seriously frustrating. I made three errors at work today. Two were caught beforehand and one not. UGH. Nothing horrible, but still frustrates me.

Once again, I rejoined flylady. I first found flylady back in 1999. I believe it is a very good program, yet I have to admit I have never done the work. This time I am hoping it is different. I have the 30 day baby step program all ready. We are starting it tomorrow. Wish us luck. My goal is to get organized before baby comes. I know my world will be in chaos then, even if the house is a fine oiled machine.

As far as the pregnancy goes, things are going smoothly. I got sick twice today and had to miss a happy hour due to feeling like crap, but overall that is improving. But the worst thing is sleeping. I know this is only going to get worse. My hip hurts and it is very hard not to sleep on my back. I want to try yoga more often to see if it will help. Sweetie is getting the workout area all ready for me this weekend.

And I do have to brag on Sweetie. Yesterday I told him that I was craving chicken and dumplings, just a side comment. When he arrived home he had two bags of groceries. He found a recipe online and bought everything to make a healthy version for me. It was yummy. The best part was living the full princess pregnancy lifestyle and lying on the couch while he did all the cooking.

Now I am going to attempt this whole sleep thing again. Wish me luck.

down but not out

We went camping for Ren Faire this past weekend. It was a lot of fun. It was cool and damp and perfect. Unfortunately, Bug did get a cough and low grade fever. No worries, she can go back tomorrow.

I am happy to report that the last two days I woke up without any nausea. I think this means I am getting to the second trimester happy stage. The true test will be if I have the energy to clean tonight.

need some good vibes

Most of Bug's friends have come down with the flu this week and last. So far we have been lucky. But today, today when we got home Bug requested we go straight to my bed, snuggle and watch TV. I hope it is just her wanting to take care of me. We have a big weekend planned and I don't want her to have to miss it.

Tonight we focus on resting, hydrating, vitamin C, and a good dinner. I hope it helps. The good news is that her mood is wonderful. Currently she is putting smiley faces all over me.