give me a trash can

I feel like crap. There is the morning sickness. No throwing up today, but might as well be. And I have a cough. I hate it. Oh and a terrible headache.

And I feel blue today. Not sure why. But I feel very emotionally on edge. I know it is prob hormones.

I called the Dr about the cough. I am to take cough syrup and tylenol and lots of water. I have the appt on Monday and they will check me out then. If anything turns green or I get a fever I am to go to my family dr.

I cannot wait until Monday. Things will be better Monday. It is Sweetie's B-day AND the appt. We have an afternoon time slot so the day will drag like nobody's business. But we won't have to come back to work, so that is good.

Tuesday I will tell the remaining work peeps. A few know already. I had to explain why I wasn't doing WW with them this time. Of course, accoring to my IT friend, since I am already showing most should already know, lol.

And the saddest news came today. The lady at work who makes homemade cakes for everyone's b-day is leaving. SHE IS LEAVING. I am pregnant and have a bigger sweet tooth than EVER, and she has the nerve to move to Dallas? Who cares about grandkids, my death by chocolate needs are more important.

My head is killing me. That is one thing I will complain about, not being able to take anything stronger than tylenol. OK done ranting, need to go and pick Bug up.

to which i say Blah

I am emotional today. I feel lazy, fat, useless. OK I know I am none of these things, but I don't feel up to doing anything and that makes me feel worse. I know I am talking in circles. And I am trying to study. No real stress there, just trying to find the time.

And then to top it off, my biggest reason for being emotional - less the pregnancy of course - is Brother. My Brother is moving. And not just moving, he is moving to Alaska. And not in a few months, on 8/15/08. He has always lived near me. Even when we weren't talking on an almost daily basis he was close by. This is the first time he will be away. And it is very emotional. I am going to miss him. Sure we will have phones and Internet. But it will be different. The holidays are going to be so different. I am so excited and at the same time so sad about the upcoming changes.

I want him to be happy, I want him to find himself, to experience life. But in a selfish way, I want him to do that here. Google maps says that it is over 4,200 miles of driving between us. That doesn't make for a quick weekend get away to see him. I just worry about him and like having him around.

So today I am emotional. But as I reminded Mom last night, we focus on what needs to be done and show our emotions after. We handle stressful situations well.

Things are just changing and quickly.

the ear

the life of a mother

This morning Sweetie left us early for his quarterly company meeting. Bug and I were getting ready pretty slowly - but no real surprise.

That is until I went to brush her hair.

I came across some knots, not out of the norm. I moved her hair aside and saw her ear. OMG so bad. A TON of drainage. I check her, no fever.

I call work and let them know I will be late if not out today. I call the ENT, Dr not in (shit), but they will call in drops since she doesn't have a fever. I call CVS and ask for the rx to be filled then - 15 minutes, not to bad. We eat breakfast sitting on the kitchen floor - we are cool like that. We get the meds, get her to school - no fever so she can go. She didn't want me to drop her off, of course.

She has been at school without any problems, no calls at least. I am going to sneak out and get her and check on her. I hate it when my baby doesn't feel well.

And being the way I am, I took a picture of the ear. Everyone I have shown it to has said it looks horrible. Good, at least I wasn't over reacting. Don't worry I will post it.

In other news, my morning sickness is here. YAY. That was sarcasm.

best day

Today was the best day. we went to see mamma mia. omg best movie in so long. mil, mom, neice, sil, and I went for a girls event. so good so good. if you like musicals go see it.we laughed and cried.

HORMONAL

I am hormonal today. It has hit. My belly is growing and quickly. I am not sure if I will be able to keep it from work for another 2.5 weeks. Sweetie was wonderful and helped all he could this morning during my break down. He then asked to have lunch with me. This baby likes to eat. So different from Bug. Baby made me sick for like 5 days and ever since it has been all about the food.

I am starting to get excited. I am still cautious. I will feel more at ease after our appt. I just worry. We have a perfect little girl and I fear that we won't be as lucky a second time.

In other news I hope to get a ton of studying done this week. I told my boss about the CMA and he sounds excited for me. This is good. I just want to crank it out before I get too big to sit at the computer for a four hour test, lol.

BestFriend and I had a long talk today about how we don't see in ourselves what others see. She believes we focus on our own flaws instead of seeing the whole picture. That helped a ton. It is true. I focus on the things that I see as wrong. She truly is the best. So my focus tonight is to pack away clothes I cannot wear, no sense getting upset about it. And I am going to focus on doing things to make me feel pretty every day.

pics

Mom at her party:My little family:

The beautiful sunset:
DarkDiva being gorgeous:
BestFriend's hawt shoes and legs:
My too grown up Niece:Last night Sweetie brought me flowers and chocolate milk. He is the best!There you have it, a few photos to see what we have been up to.

SURPRISE

This weekend was a blast. I was successful in keeping a secret from Mom - I know shocking. We threw her a great surprise party on Saturday. She was in tears, though she hid them more than I wanted. It was fun and tiring.

Last night and tonight we worked on my room at my Mom's house. Jim may be staying there for a little while. It was fun to look through high school items.

I am uploading photos now :-)

Happy Birthday Mom

Yesterday was Mom's 60th b-day. I should have blogged sooner, but we were so busy. BestFriend and I surprised Mom by taking the day off work and spending it with her. I gave away the surprise, I am so bad at keeping secrets from my mom. We enjoyed starbucks, Alamo Draft House, shopping, playing with Bug's friends, and dinner at Outback. It was awesome. I hope it was what she was looking forward to with her b-day. It was exactly what I was hoping for. Happy Birthday Mom - you are a sensational sixty!

As far as me, I am doing great. I walked three days this week. I have been feeling good since Monday. I hope this good feeling lasts. The main difference with this pregnancy this far, to keep feeling good - I have to eat. I am trying to eat healthy items, but you know how it is. I think the walking has helped a ton. Plus it gives me time to move my body and listen to my lectures.

The real difference with my walking is BestFriend. She said she will call my house and wake everyone up if I don't get up to walk. So far, this tactic has worked.

This weekend is a double date with Jim. I cannot wait. I think we are going to have a fantastic time.

Feeling Great

Other than getting sick after lunch, I have felt great today. I walked this morning, didn't have my headache, sore throat, or bad nausea.

I don't know how I am going to keep it quiet at work for another month. I just hope I feel as good for the remainder of the week - Mom's b-day is on Wednesday. WooHoo!

What a great weekend

This has been a great weekend so far, and it isn't even over. Thursday was awesome with a lunch with Sweetie's coworkers in celebration of him. No real reason, not an anniversary or promotion, they just wanted to make sure he knew how much he was appreciated. It was awesome. They even gave him two bound books of the work he has done over the last 2.5 years.

Sweetie's day continued to improve as after he left from work. He went to Mom's as I was there with a horrible headache. It was so bad I had to leave work early and go straight to sleep - Mom's house is closer to work than mine so I went there. BAD MIGRAINE. Anyway, I was awake and we were outside when he arrived. Bug ran to the door at top speed. I let her in and she ran and picked up a bag and took it to him. She said. "this is for you". Shocked, he said "for me?" I told him that we wanted to continue the celebration from lunch.

He opened the bag and started to laugh as he felt the kiosk SWAG type pen wrapped in tissue. As he unwrapped it, his face changed quickly from humor to being ecstatic. You see, what Bug gave him wasn't a pen.

It was a digital pregnancy test. And his ecstatic response was based on the "pregnant" listed as plain as day. He looked at me yelled OMG and Yay and some other happy words. He then looked at me all serious and said "are you sure?" I smiled and said "blood test confirmed". He kissed and hugged me. He hasn't stopped smiling at me.
So once again, we have the luck of getting pregnant the first month of trying. Before you think I am bragging, please know morning sickness has already set in. So much for having a fun "trying" phase. I am doing ok. I am sicker this time already. I have been fighting a headache, and I have a sore throat. I walked yesterday and I enjoyed a nice nap today and leisurely studying. It hasn't sunk in all the way. I keep telling people hoping it will be more real. Don't get me wrong we are beyond excited. But it is hard to believe that, God willing, we are going to be a family of four in March.

I know this is early to post. However, the way I see it, if something horrible happens, I will need my friends to support me. The good news is my thyroid is healthier and I am starting out over 20 pounds lighter than last time.

BestFriend was the first to know, I then blurted it out to my Mom. I knew at that point that planning in a big way to tell Sweetie, wasn't going to happen. I have a big mouth.

Last time was princess pregnancy. This time is queen pregnancy. And yes, the queen has already begun ruling.

Life is Wonderful.
She is going to make the best big sister.

**Ok quick story, I have been having symptoms and last week Bug told me out of the blue, "there's a baby in there". I was due to start on Thursday so I tested on Wednesday. I got a negative. I tested again on Thursday and received a positive. At the dr I took the urine test, it came back negative (of course my pee was practically clear to how much I am drinking). The dr said "we have seen the result of you being pregnant, so I want to know for sure today". He put a stat on the blood test and they told me he would get the official answer in 2 hours. About 2.5 hours later he called me on my cell. Indeed the answer was positive.

moving right along

I walked this morning, second time this week. I listened to my lectures as I walked. Currently I am reviewing microeconomics. I forgot how much I enjoy this topic. I am also impressed with the amount I have remembered. The last mirco class I took was at least 8 years ago. I also received the letter with my testing authorization number. I have until 11/6 to take the first section. I am so excited.

Last night I was lucky enough to see MotoDiva, her Jeff, BestFriend, and G. It was a good dinner. However, after BestFriend and I slipped away to do some shopping. We laughed so hard. I love hanging out with her. If you don't know her she has the best "i am telling a joke but keeping a serious face" face. It cracks me up. Best part of the evening can be summed in two quotes, "are you having a seizure?" and "a shallot is a fish". And she bought me dark chocolate - she is the bestest bestfriend ever.

Work is busy, but good - actually getting caught up. I am so happy to have a three day weekend. I am going to put it to good use with laundry and studying. Oh and playing and having much fun too.

For now it is time to get out of here. Thank you Bestfriend for your comment. Your support means the world to me.

happy

There is more drama. Well that isn't the right word. But I was once again reminded yesterday by three people how much our friendship means to them. It simply makes me smile.

I am very busy coming up. This weekend is the 4th and next week is Mom's b-day.

And I started my studying. I am feeling good about it. We shall see. The good news is with this certification I find out if I passed the minute I finish the test for three out of the four sections.

OK sorry to be short, must get Bug and meet friends for dinner.