into the fog

Well I fully believe that my Graves' is back. No remission for me. All last week I was waking feeling sick to my stomach. I had to eat something like dry cereal to make it better. I didn't have any other symptoms but was wondering if I was pregnant, it was that much like morning sickness. It wasn't until Sunday when we got some breakfast and I got a diet coke and it was making my stomach feel better that I realized the issue. I know I am not pregnant. Instead I was reminded how I would have a diet coke for breakfast when I worked for Telecom and when I was losing all the weight so quickly. It was the same upset stomach feeling. Great! Mom has even noticed that I am getting a foggy brain. I am emotional and on the verge of tears and today I have some depression. I just wish I knew where I stood. I give my blood on Friday. Hopefully I can get my scan next week.

I ate badly all weekend and it caused me a gain, which really is not a surprise. I wanted to eat what I can't when I go low iodine. So chocolate, pastries, and burgers were on the menu. However, that changes today. You see I have three months until our anniversary. It is time for me to start working out again and eating right again and getting all hawt for my man, though he claims I already am ;-)

I changed cubicles on Friday. I am so happy that I did. My old cube just didn't feel right. This one is awesome. It is amazing what kind of change something like this can cause. I was so productive today. And while I feel my fuzzy brain is back in some respects, others I feel more on target - another reason I think I was hypo on my meds. I even brought in my posters from my cube at HES. Feels good to have my things finally surrounding me. I have been so timid for so long, afraid to let anyone in to know me, afraid of getting hurt. My boss has been such a great influence to push me past this. He has no idea at all. I am feeling so good here. I think passing my 1 year anniversary here last week helped a lot. Another sign of my growth is that I have been talking openly about my disease. That is big for me.

Friday will be four weeks since being off my meds. My dr said to be off for three to four. I think I will go for my blood work on Wednesday or Thursday, that way the Dr will get the results on Friday and I can go ahead and call ARA and make the appointment for the scan. I just want to feel normal.

My focus this week is my walking and trying to stay stress free. I am very excited about LiveStrong coming up. I know that I am not going to break any records, I just want to show my support for sure a great cause.

And that brings me to time to head out and get my big girl. Man, she is amazing. On Saturday we went to the park and played. It was so much fun. I have some great pictures to post as soon as I upload them.

Have a great evening everyone, I will try and post pics tonight.