well crap

Yesterday I had the WORST headache, it lasted all day. I took my normal meds, took a long nap, ate chocolate and bad food - normally works. Nope headache still continued.

Today I woke with a fever and the same headache. Blah. I have been drinking my water and hoping it was simply dehydration. However, when I got dressed I noticed that I have a rash on my legs. Not horrible but there nevertheless.

I can't like rashes so when I got home from the grocery store I went onto my trusty webmb.com and the symptom checker. One question asked if I was taking antibiotics. Yes. The details specifically said that sulfa drugs can cause this. Flash back to the Dr's office on Thursday, NP asked "can you take sulfa drugs". I said yes, not thinking twice about it.

I looked up the side effects for this drug:
1) Headache - check
2) dizziness - check
3) rash - check

Great. Just when I started to feel better I find out that my meds are not good for me. Guess I will be on the phone first thing in the morning for a new prescription.

I am off to try and get rid of this headache, take a bath for the rash, and get ready for next week.

feeling better

My sinus infection was bad enough for the dr to prescribe a double dose of antibiotics. I woke this morning feeling so much better. Still a little tired, but I woke contemplating going walking - don't worry I was smart and decided not just yet. Perhaps tomorrow, today is about resting and finishing getting rid of this infection.

Yesterday was Jim's b-day. He came over and we celebrated him. I hope I wasn't too much of a party pooper, I was just tired.

I have felt so bad with this infection that I have not fully celebrated my great thyroid news. I have not even told everyone. I think with feeling badly, it just hasn't seemed real.
____________________________________________________________________
Dear Ex High School Best Friend,
We have not spoken in over 4.5 years. I just want you to know that I find much solace in the fact that your bill collectors are calling my house DAILY to try and find you. However, please pay your bills as it is damn annoying to hear your name on my answering machine over and over. Isn't karma is a bitch?

Thank you
____________________________________________________________________

Now to pictures:

uhm.....ok

First things first, I have a HORRIBLE sinus infection. I have Dr's orders to go home and go to bed until Monday. Am I following them? No, I went back to work. But I did leave early and came home and slept for four hours.

Now onto the important news. I gave my blood yesterday like a good girl. And I got the call this morning about my results. I was all prepared to call and schedule my uptake scan as my final step before the RAI.

There has been a change of plans.

No RAI for me this month. You see my thyroid is normal. It is normal for the old standards, the new standards, and even the brand new standards that Drs in CA are following. Without meds for four weeks and it is normal. They are not saying remission yet. I go back at the end of November and test again. I had to have the nurse repeat herself and I just started laughing.

So what I thought were symptoms have been my brain (nice huh?) and my horrible sinus infection.

I cannot believe it, as of right now I am healthy. HEALTHY. I have not had a normal thyroid since the beginning of 2001. I don't even know what to think, how to act. And this sinus infection has totally stolen the thunder of this wonderful news. GRRRRRR!

So I have no excuses in regard to losing weight or studying for the CPA (though I will be watching my stress levels very closely as that is a cause of thyroid changes). And the best part? I get to continue to take my vitamin and calcium first thing in the morning. You cannot take vitamins and your thyroid medication at the same time. This meant I forgot my vitamins most days.

So not saying remission yet. But I am damn motivated to be healthy and do everything in my power to continue on this no medication route.

Step Two Complete

I gave my blood today for testing. I am ready to feel good again. On top of the Graves' coming back I have a sinus infection, or at least I think. I go to the Dr tomorrow. Normally I would want to suffer through, but I want to be feeling as good as I can when I take my little pill.

I hope to hear from the Dr tomorrow so I can schedule my uptake scan. My goal is still to get the RAI on the 16th, but of course this depends on scheduling and such.

Not much of a post. I just wanted to update everyone on my progress.

into the fog

Well I fully believe that my Graves' is back. No remission for me. All last week I was waking feeling sick to my stomach. I had to eat something like dry cereal to make it better. I didn't have any other symptoms but was wondering if I was pregnant, it was that much like morning sickness. It wasn't until Sunday when we got some breakfast and I got a diet coke and it was making my stomach feel better that I realized the issue. I know I am not pregnant. Instead I was reminded how I would have a diet coke for breakfast when I worked for Telecom and when I was losing all the weight so quickly. It was the same upset stomach feeling. Great! Mom has even noticed that I am getting a foggy brain. I am emotional and on the verge of tears and today I have some depression. I just wish I knew where I stood. I give my blood on Friday. Hopefully I can get my scan next week.

I ate badly all weekend and it caused me a gain, which really is not a surprise. I wanted to eat what I can't when I go low iodine. So chocolate, pastries, and burgers were on the menu. However, that changes today. You see I have three months until our anniversary. It is time for me to start working out again and eating right again and getting all hawt for my man, though he claims I already am ;-)

I changed cubicles on Friday. I am so happy that I did. My old cube just didn't feel right. This one is awesome. It is amazing what kind of change something like this can cause. I was so productive today. And while I feel my fuzzy brain is back in some respects, others I feel more on target - another reason I think I was hypo on my meds. I even brought in my posters from my cube at HES. Feels good to have my things finally surrounding me. I have been so timid for so long, afraid to let anyone in to know me, afraid of getting hurt. My boss has been such a great influence to push me past this. He has no idea at all. I am feeling so good here. I think passing my 1 year anniversary here last week helped a lot. Another sign of my growth is that I have been talking openly about my disease. That is big for me.

Friday will be four weeks since being off my meds. My dr said to be off for three to four. I think I will go for my blood work on Wednesday or Thursday, that way the Dr will get the results on Friday and I can go ahead and call ARA and make the appointment for the scan. I just want to feel normal.

My focus this week is my walking and trying to stay stress free. I am very excited about LiveStrong coming up. I know that I am not going to break any records, I just want to show my support for sure a great cause.

And that brings me to time to head out and get my big girl. Man, she is amazing. On Saturday we went to the park and played. It was so much fun. I have some great pictures to post as soon as I upload them.

Have a great evening everyone, I will try and post pics tonight.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIECE!!

Happy 40th BIL!!!

Tonight, as in Saturday night, we celebrated BIL's 40th b-day. Much fun was had. More to post, but now I must sleep.

as promised

Pictures are finally here, yay. I am writing this while listening to both Sweetie and Bug snore. It has been a rough week for us and sleep has been limited. We were all in bed before 8:30. I am so tired too, but can I sleep? Nope. Oh well, I figured I would write instead. Things are good today, though my eyes are bothering me more. I have no idea if it is my allergies or thyroid. I hate not knowing, means I am not in control. One more week without meds and I get my blood tested. I am still cautious about it all. BestFriend has planned more with the glow party and it truly makes me happy. I feel like I have a team cheering me on through this.

I found out this week that my friend A is pregnant with her #2. That makes the third person we know who is due in Feb. And while I have said a lot about wanting another baby and how I am getting healthy for that, I just want everyone to know that whatever happens, happens. Sweetie and I have had several long talks about how much we want more children, but if that is not in the cards for us, Bug is awesome and we are thrilled with her.

Weight Watchers at work has not started yet. They are waiting for a leader to be assigned. That is my one main complaint about this set up. With this program you need to find the right leader and there is no shopping around for other meeting/leaders like you can when you attend traditional meetings. Plus I hate it when I know the program better than the leaders. But I am having faith and letting go. I need the support and environment to continue my weight loss. But I must say that I am fighting going off program until it starts. Or the one that is harder to fight, going off until I take the RAI - or rather the week before due to the low-iodine diet. I keep thinking that once I get the treatment that I am going to have to be healthy and why not blow it until then. I know, the other part of me, the angel on my shoulder, says to stay good and that way I have less to lose after treatment. But that devil can be tempting. For lunch Sweetie and I went to Red Robin. I had a bad morning and ate poorly because of it. But I came back to work and counted all the points.

OK on to pictures:
Bug and me at the lake last Thursday. She didn't want her picture taken, she wanted to go and see the water.
The lake.
The geese that chased Bug and me.
My new iPod skin. don't you love it? This is so very me. And it makes me smile. Now I can listen to the CPA reviews at work.
And my new walking shoes. The photo does not capture the color. They are brown. Chocolate actually. I really like them, hope the feel great after walking for awhile. I think I was drawn to them because on the low-iodine diet you cannot eat chocolate.

feeling like sunshine

Pictures will come tonight. I upgraded my RAM. So much faster, yay!

I am feeling so good. I am convinced that I was hypo with my meds. Other than my eyes bothering me right now, and that might be overuse with the computer or allergies and not my Graves', I feel so much healthier. Now as my meds leave my body, I will become more hyper, so while I feel great now I should be experiencing more hyper side effects any day. It does not mean that I am cured or that I do not need the treatment. I have to remind myself. I am feeling so good and I cannot get my hopes up that I am in remission. I just wish that there was a pocket thyroid test so I could know everyday where I stand.

Monday I went to the girlie doc. All is well, pending anything strange from the pap. We discussed birth control, the upcoming RAI, and what I need to do for #2. Everything is set. I start my prenatals when I finish my current bottle of vitamins and stop the pill after the six month wait time after the RAI. Other than that the NP was excited and said she hopes to see me in the summer. YAY!!

This weekend is going to be crazy busy. We have BIL's 40th b-day on Saturday and niece's 11th b-day on Sunday. Which means we need to prepare during the week. And I need to get my butt out the door and walking. LiveStrong is coming up soon.

Give Blood

Thursday went as planned. We gave our blood and took Bug to the lake. It was very nice. Bug got to feed the ducks and geese. In fact, we had to run away from three big geese as we ran out of bread and they wanted more. I am sure that I looked silly. I need to upload the photos from the day. After that fun, we had a lovely dinner with Brother and SIL#1. It was a good day. We go back to give blood in November. And I received enough points to order this:I am now a level 2 donor. Please please please please please, if you are able to give blood, donate. I saved two lives on Thursday.

Friday was a good day. I am so happy where I work. We are, hopefully, going to have Weight Watchers at work. It is a 17 week commitment. The best part? They are paying 50%. When you lose your 10%, they are reimbursing the employees the remaining 50%. As long as you lose 10% of your initial weight, the program is free. That is a good incentive. So between work being a positive, scheduled upcoming walks, and support of friends and family, I hope to avoid the average weight gain with the RAI treatment. The whole goal is for me to be as healthy as possible in about 7 months so we can start thinking about trying for #2.

And speaking of my upcoming treatment, BestFriend is awesome. She is planning a glow party to celebrate my new adventure. Glow in the dark jewelry, nail polish, and buttons. It is a good thing.

and we begin the ride of the 10th anniversary

Ten years ago today is when my dad went into the hospital. Ten years ago tomorrow is when we lost him. This is always hard on me. I think about everything that has happened since we lost him, how much has changed. Luckily, I believe that he is watching us and checking in. Mom and I have talked about that day and have discovered that we both remember different things. We are both soldiers, we do what we need to in time of need.

Every year we gather and remember my father. We go to the lake where we scattered his ashes. However, this year we are adding something different. I decided that we are going to celebrate life instead of mourning death. Mom and I are leaving work early to give blood. We are going to save lives. This is going to be our new tradition.

And after tomorrow's donation, I will qualify for a mug. OK, fine, I admit it, it doesn't take much to make me happy.

Last night was not a picnic as planned, instead we went to dinner to celebrate Sweetie finishing a big project. Sweetie was awesome and brought me home a card and yellow daises. Here is a pic of Bug from last night with her new do:Tonight has been a wonderful step in parenting. We introduced Bug to Invader Zim. We are such good parents.

from the office of blue shirts

I have decided that I will get the RAI as soon as I can, meaning go to give blood on Oct 5th. This is a good date for a few reasons: 1) It is four weeks of not being on my meds 2)It is Jim's b-day 3) It is three years since we found out about Bug. And since it was my pregnancy that triggered this disease, it seems fitting. I am expecting to get my scan done the week of Oct 8th and the RAI the week of the 15th. That means that I will be on the low-iodine diet for LiveStrong, but that is ok. We can celebrate without food.

Today I am grateful for my Mom. She is so awesome about making sure that she doesn't overstep her boundaries. She helped me a lot today and I am grateful for every moment I have with her. I know how lucky I am to have a Mom who treats me like an adult and helps me make hard decisions. For that I am very very grateful.

Now the big question is CPA. It can take up to a year to get the meds regulated after RAI. Do I focus on health or use the test as a distraction? Right now I am planning on using it as a distraction, but allowing myself the option of postponing. Blah, being an adult is so hard.

Sweetie and I have a fun evening planned. If it doesn't rain, we are going to pack up the stroller and walk to a park for a picnic, at least that is the plan. We are very date oriented and today is a happy date for us. So I want to spend a lot of quality time with him tonight, I don't care what we do.

And with that, I think I am going to sneak out. My boss is out the next two days and I want to get a TON done so I look like a good little employee. And since procrastination is my BEST trait, I will leave the pile on my desk until tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a great evening.

light at the end of the tunnel

There is a light, I see it, can you see it? It is there. I have been CRAZY busy at work. But I am close to the end of the mad rush. I doubt I will be caught up this week, but hopefully next week. It is just nice to finally feel not so overwhelmed.

I am even starting to feel better. I highly recommend zicam. It sucks to take every three hours, and the not eating or drinking for 15 minutes after isn't great, but I believe it is what is helping me to feel better.

Tonight was a fun evening. We have taken Bug out of gymnastics. She is doing a recreation activity at school and seems to enjoy it more than the gymnastics. Instead we are going to spend a couple of nights a week focusing on running, playing with the soccer ball, and playing on the play ground. All about movement and being active. So tonight, since I am still recovering, we took it easy. After a yummy dinner we went for a run. Actually, this was prompted by Bug as she loves running. So we headed out. We went at least a mile and she ran most of it. It was awesome.

And here are some pics from dinner on Thursday (sorry BestFriend, couldn't resist, you know I want to be just like you):

Here is BestFriend - she is so beautiful - and amazing, AND look how skinny she is. DarkDiva is in the background. BestFriend and I have the same problem when photographing DarkDiva, all the photos come out blurry. This was the best one from the evening:Here is MotoDiva, she is the one trying to entice me into doing tris, I swear she can talk anyone into anything:This is IronDiva. She is the amazing woman who has completed two IronMan Tris. Being able to complete a 15 hour endurance event is one thing, but being cute and nice and awesome just makes it down right impossible to hate her. This is Michelle. She is the newest Diva. I am still learning about her, hence the lack of cool nickname. But so far she is fitting in nicely. And, of course, me! Hopefully I can get HowieMaui to come to next month's dinner.

17 - Today I am grateful for my healthy family. We ate healthy, we moved, we talked, and we are going to go to bed at a good hour. I love having a daughter who brings me shoes and says "running, mommy?" and while we are out "hurry up mommy, run".

another weekend comes to a close

The weekend is over. It was a good weekend, not too exciting, which I like. Friday night was the going away party for Bug's daycare director. It was fun as Sweetie and I were the only parents invited. It is nice being the cool parents.

Unfortunately, Friday night I started to feel less than great. Blah. I am so sick of sinus infections. I refuse to let this get that bad. I don't have a fever or anything, just feel tired and yucky in my head. Sweetie was nice and watched Bug as I napped both yesterday and today.

Our Saturday was a fun family day with getting Bug a haircut and doing a lil shopping. And today was the normal grocery store and then Sweetie needing to go into work and me working from home. Man, that is S.L.O.W UGH. But it is ok. I got most of what I needed done.

The diet and exercise have not been the best. But that is ok. As they say, the diet starts tomorrow. Actually I have not been that bad, just have not been counting this weekend. Back on track tomorrow. I hope to be feeling up to walking then as well.

Gratefuls:
14 - For Bug being at a daycare that I feel comfortable with. We may readdress her care with each new class, but overall we are very happy where she is at now.
15 - For getting a full refund on my shoes that didn't fit, and not forcing an exchange. Good customer service is a wonderful thing.
16 - For the comfort of little routines like the weekly grocery store with Mom. It is a set time I get to spend with her. I am grateful for all the time I have with her.

hyper

I am hyper.

that is all

just what I needed

I was sad again today. Sweetie and BestFriend were very good at making me feel better. Sweetie insisted on having lunch with me, which always helps. And tonight was a dinner with the Divas. This was planned in advance but I almost canceled due to my emotions. BestFriend insisted that I go. That was exactly what I needed, to be surrounded by five strong and beautiful women.

Now where I brag. During lunch with Sweetie, I used 24.5 points. I only get 20 a day. I stress ate. It wasn't bad though, because I counted it, enjoyed it, and didn't use the "well, I have blown it" thinking. I didn't have any points left for the day but was going out to dinner that night. What did I do? I had some REALLY good zero point soup before leaving for the restaurant. Then I had two cups of mint hot tea while I was there, to keep me occupied as you cannot drink it too quickly. Then for dinner I had the bowl of fresh fruit. I am so awesome.

The new talk of my friends is the New Orleans Marathon on Feb 24th. There is a half and a full. That on top of the Rookie Tri that MotoDiva is trying to get me to do in May. Why can't I have friends that drink or do drugs, so much easier to meet expectations that way - I kid.

I end my sad day feeling much better, feeling healthy, and happy. Now for my gratefuls:
12 - For my job. I worked late last night. I have never had a 12 hour day be as non-tiring and non-stressful as it was last night. Now, I was tired, and there is some stress. But at telecom hell when I worked these hours, I would leave so tired and pissed at the world. It is nice to be at a place you like.
13 - For friends. I am very lucky with the friends that I have. Thank you all for being wonderful.Thank you BestFriend for helping me get out of my slump.

And out of total randomness: don't you love it when you upload your photos and you find random pictures of bread? I am sure Bug was being super cute and moved as the picture was being taken, I just can't remember what the cuteness was.

Fast forward, take a picture of me, I'm the prize at the end

Time for catch up. I have been sad this week, so bear with me. I had a post all ready about crappy salesmen and how to not go to their stores. But when trying to write it I realized that is much more negative than I want to be right now.

Grateful for
8 - Spending time with a good friend. Regardless of how short, or busy, time together is good.
9 - For lazy days with my little family. Sometimes doing nothing is the best ever. Oh and family naps.
10 - For a Husband who wrote to me that he didn't want the lunch he took to work because he could not look at me while it ate it. He truly knows how to make me smile.
11 - For my Bug's love of animals. There are some days she simply seems so big. She feeds the stray outside - her chore. And she insisted that he get his food even though it was raining and he was no where to be seen.

glow-worthy

Today was the appointment. My thyroid is at 2. That means it is in the perfect range. I feel best when it is under 3. No need for me to whip out the new standards because I am within the new range. However, today marked my 1.5 years since being diagnosed. We have not altered my meds any during this time. Remember the goal is to need to reduce the meds slowly until none is needed. This does not look good for remission. So I am on the path for RAI - otherwise known as I-131. Yes, this is scary, yes this is extreme.

Here are the needed steps:
Step One - take last medicine - done
Step Two - get blood work done (4-6 weeks without meds). This will show my TSH levels without my anti thyroid drugs
Step Three - get uptake scan - so Dr can determine dosage
Step Four - begin low iodine diet one week before RAI
Step Five- get RAI

There are precautions to take after the RAI, but not as bad as if I were getting this for thyroid cancer. I cannot be near people for prolonged periods of time at a close proximity for the first couple of days. I can hug, but not snuggle. That is going to be hard. No kissing, no sex, and that kind of thing.

Now the tricky part is planning all of this. My first timeline had me starting the one week diet right before Halloween. Now, with Weight Watchers and all I would not be going overboard, but chili is not allowed on the low-iodine diet and I have to have my chili on Halloween. Then there is my b-day and Thanksgiving, and Christmas. And part of me wants to wait to do the blood work, because that is what starts everything in motion, until after the first of the year. Of course, even with that said, I am going to be watching my symptoms. And if after the 4-6 weeks if I start to notice all bad symptoms that I had before diagnosis, then I will go ahead and do the blood work.

I am scared of the weight gain. I already gained weight with this disease and treatment, I already paid the price, shouldn't that count for something. And I am fighting so very hard right now to get it off. Which, of course, means that all training plans that are set now will stay in place. I will continue with my walking and power90 workouts. I will beat this.

And speaking of walking. I am not doing the IBM 10k. I know I could finish it. I know that it wouldn't kill me. But when I did my half-marathons I promised myself that I wasn't going to just finish races anymore. I want to feel good afterwards. I want to know that I am prepared. With that said, my knee has been bugging me a little - nothing bad - so I am going to do the 4k fun run instead that day. My main focus is still the LiveStrong Challenge on Oct 13th. And the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving (5 miles).

When I got to work, BestFriend asked about the appointment. When I told her about the RAI, she asked how I was doing. I realized that I am doing good. I know I hate the thought of it, but I think I have come to terms with it. It is all good. And we only have to wait 6 months post RAI to start trying for #2. And Bug so needs a #2.

Thankful for:
6 - The ability to walk. While I may never be a runner, I am able to move my body and for this I am grateful. On my walk yesterday, I saw a woman in a wheel chair. I do not know any of the details. But it reminded me that I am very lucky.

7 - My health. Though I do have an autoimmune disease and have to make some decisions, it could be so much worse. I am grateful that I am not so sick that I do not have time to think about my options.

i am shrinking

I gave my blood this morning. I read an article about your TSH being higher if you fast, basically warning against fasting, unless needed for other tests, as to provide more accurate results. Well, since I want mine higher for dosage reduction, I fasted. I should get the results tomorrow. Then the appointment is Friday. This is this Doctor's last chance. I just spoke with a co-worker who has a great endocrinologist and I may try him.

Thankful for:
4 - having the cubicle closest to the bathroom. The rich food from Monday decided to turn my tummy against me. I know, TMI.
5 - having measured, yay for getting through the first 30 days, and seeing a 2" reduction in my waist. I lost all over, but that was my biggest loss.

I need to workout tonight and not think about the test results. I will receive the call about them in the morning. Tonight is going to be relaxing. Don't worry I will post as soon as I know anything.

be like a duck

In my house, Sandra Boynton rules. BestFriend introduced me to this very wise author. Our current favorite song from the Philadelphia Chickens CD is "Be Like a Duck". My favorite part of this song is as follows:

maybe you'll stroll, maybe you'll fly, maybe you'll float and let the river run by; when the rain starts fallin' let it roll off your back, open up your beak and go quack quack quack.

Septembers are always hard for me. And this year I am not going to let it bring me down. This weekend has been wonderful and I am going to make sure to make sure that my September goes out the same way it came in.

Friday night was date night and we enjoyed sushi, laser tag, and gelato. Saturday and Sunday we spent time on the yard, making it look very nice and added some yellow flowers. We spent time with both Moms. And today was Jambalaya at MotoDiva's. This was a great weekend.

Today was weigh in and I am down 11. That means that this weekend I get a mani/pedi. Of course, after the good food at MotoDiva's, I better be good all week to maintain this loss.

As a way for me to try and be happier about this month, I am going to post something I am thankful for with each day.
1. Being rewarded for being nice - we were helping a neighbor look for his nephew's dog without question. We didn't even know what the dog looked like. Turns out the nephew owns a restaurant and wants to buy us dinner one day this week to pay us back for our help.
2. Feeling in control of our environment and of Sweetie doing so much work on the yard
3. Friends to hang out with - and discussion of potential athletic challenges. And feeling healthier and that my weight is going in the right direction.