long day/night

Today was filled with emotion. I am up very late. My day started with consoling a friend. Love sucks sometimes. She is a good friend to me and I made sure to try and help in her time of sadness. At least I hope I helped. Everyone is going through something. And to be honest, I don't want to waste energy on blame. If I am not a party involved, then all I can do is be supportive.

Sometimes all you need is a little push from the universe to remind you of why things turned out the way they did. You know like when you find out an ex boyfriend is in jail - you know that regardless of the hurt that was there at the end, it was worth it. I received an email from someone who was a friend. I had been to visit one of my best friends in the same complex and it brought back some emotions on how things ended. I knew I had contributed to pain and I hate that. I had to clear the air and let her know that I do feel remorse and that I hope she has a wonderful life. Thank you universe for reminding me. You don't critique an apology. Even if you think it is horrible, you hit delete. Why waste the energy. It just makes me laugh. I turned to BestFriend, of course, and thanked her for not pointing out my faults. She replied with the best answer (hope you don't mind me quoting you):

yes i have
i point them out CONSTANTLY
you're stubborn
especially when it comes to taking compliments
you're too considerate, especially when it comes to people who aren't worthy
you're WAY too cute
the kind of cute that is infuriating
IT MAKES ME SO MAD!
let's see... what else
btw :p <------

She told me exactly what I needed to hear. And it isn't the first time I have been told this. I try to surround myself with only amazing people, but I do tend to be too considerate of those unworthy. No longer. I shall not waste my energy. I wanted things to end better. Perhaps that isn't an option. But I am done, so that is all that matters.

During the day, one of my peeps needed my help. Thanks to an unused training room, we were able to speak frankly about the issues. There were hugs, tears, and much appreciation. Today was one of those days that I just felt like a good person.

Tonight we had dinner with Brother. Things have been strained between us. Tonight we made up for that. We talked for hours. There we tears, laughter, and much needed bonding. I adore my big brother. It looks like he may be moving soon. It tears me up inside. I don't judge him for wanting to go. But I won't lie, I will miss him. We stayed up past Sweetie and Bug, we kept talking. He is my brother, but also my friend. Once again I was reminded of what friendship is about. Thank you Brother!

Don't get me wrong, I don't think a friend should sit back and always agree. Not at all. BestFriend isn't that way either. She tells me straight up her opinion when I ask for it. However, she knows my intentions before I even finish my sentences. She knows if we are having a "let's plan the future" conversation that things are always serious (like with the CPA/CMA discussion). Or if what I am saying comes out wrong because it is all that I have to say. She knows my meaning. If I say I am sorry for everything, she won't critique and say that I forgot three specific items. She will understand my intentions of an apology. And I do the same for her.

I know you don't read my blog any more. But if you come across these words, please know I truly do wish you health and happiness.

I am blessed. Life is good. I am very happy. My friends are going through issues right now. I want to help them all. That is probably why my first major in college was psychology. The road from that to accounting is interesting, but for another time.

I ordered the review material for my CMA. I also wrote up a proposal for my company to help with the expenses. I have to convince two cpa's that the cma is worthy. I am so silly sometimes. My honest biggest fear, I know sounds silly, is not that they will say that they aren't going to pay, it is that the CFO decides all the accountants should have this credential. I know silly. There are three CPAs in my office and another accountant studying for it. If I took that one I could be one of five CPAs. Why would I feel different about the CMA. I guess I want it to be my thing for the time being.

Today was just one of those days where at each turn I felt I was being reminded of things. I appreciate days like this. I appreciate my family and friends. I appreciate what a good friend they know I am. I appreciate that I can go months without hearing from them only to speak and get caught up and not blamed for the lapse in time. I appreciate that I know that regardless of what is going on, that I can depend on these people.

Ok it is WAY late and Bug is going to get up in a few hours. I must go to sleep. Good night all, have a fantastic weekend. We gave Bug a digital camera for her b-day. This is one of the pics from her first "roll". I love seeing things through her eyes.