life is good

Today, I had jury duty. I was not picked and was back at work at just after noon. I am such a good employee, I could have taken the whole day off. Weight watchers at work starts this week - woo hoo! I am so excited.

This weekend was so wonderful. Sweetie and I enjoyed each other and our Bug. It was one of those weekends where everything feels so good. Sweetie and I have reached great point in our relationship. We are perfect for each other. And since we have been together for close to 15.5 years, we have grown with each other. We have had several different relationships during this time. It is hard to describe. But we are very different people than 15, or even 3, years ago. With each new phase we find ourselves closer. This weekend we joked and laughed about some of our harder times. This was a huge step. It means I have let go a lot - and that is a big thing for this control freak.

My point is that I am feeling so good. I know I have said it. I wish I could completely describe the difference. I am more confident, more awake. It is a great feeling. I knew I was hypo - I KNEW IT. Now I know better. Another month and I will get my blood tested again. I have no idea where I am right now. All I know is where I don't want to be.

I am very very emotional. Not bad, but in a appreciating everything and everyone around me kind of way.

I do have one bad issue. OK I have many issues, but this one is different. Last week I noticed behind my left knee was giving me some pain. Nothing horrible, but annoying. I assumed I just needed to "work it out". Last night we went on a family walk/run. It was fun as always and I ran more than the last time as my coach can be a hard ass (she says "run mommy"). Today the pain is worse. And tonight it is hurting to walk. Nothing to go to the Dr about, but I must baby it. I have a heating pad on it now. The issue is that the Race for a Cure is this weekend. I have to get this better in order to walk. Grrrr

Now time for bed. I have my heating pad, ate some of the best French toast ala Sweetie, and will have my Bug to snuggle.

All in all, Life Is Good!

Costume Fun

Here I am all ready for our night out, I am considering getting my nose pierced :BestFriend was there and gorgeous as always:BestFriend and Michelle: Michelle was the best cat woman:Sweetie before : Sweetie after: Shortly after we arrived, Sweetie received this: HE WON THIRD PLACE!!!!! Third place was $500. I am so very proud of him!

This was second place: And this was first place: Sweetie was very creepy. He received great reactions and we found out he has amazing thigh strength. He had to squat walk all night. Is he sore today? Nope. Amazing truly.

OK back to my fantastic weekend. Family day today has been awesome.

Lack of Blogging

Man, it seems that I have no time to blog. Things are fast paced as always. This past weekend was so very nice. Friday night BestFriend, Mom, Bug, and I volunteered for the Special Needs Dance in Gtown. It was so wonderful. I am beyond proud of my daughter. She was receptive to everyone, regardless of their "difference". It was so heart warming to be appreciated for a few hours of our time. Bug and I danced and took pictures. I need to upload them for BestFriend.

Weight Watchers is finally starting the at work program this week. The first meeting will be on Thursday and then Fridays until Feb 22. That means I should have some good motivation to be good through the holidays. I couldn't do any other plan around co-workers. I wouldn't want them watching what I eat. But with WW you don't know if I have the points for what I am eating, so there :-)

Sweetie and I registered for the Cap 10k on 3/30/08. It falls on my Grandpa's b-day. Since we already paid for it, we are much more likely to train for it. I am so excited.

Today is so beautiful. I love this fall weather. I don't get spring fever, I get fall fever. This weather makes me want to walk, to clean, and to organize. On Sunday I started going through the pantry. Throwing away old items, cleaning the shelves. I didn't complete it, but I made a good dent.

We are almost ready for Halloween at my house. Sweetie is the only one whose costume is lacking. And we are going to a Halloween Party this year. That is big for us.

I am still feeling so good. I can't even describe it. I feel like a blanket has been lifted. I feel like me again. And that is a very good thing, I like me.

It is getting close to 5. I need to finish up some work and go get my baby. For a very nice change Sweetie will be home when I get there. Poor guy has been having to get up at 5 the last two mornings for work and having to stand all day. I think I will cook him a nice dinner tonight. Hopefully we can go on a family walk as well, we shall see.

Everyone have a great night.

time for a change?

Sweetie and I got our passport renewals in the mail today, you never know when a girl's weekend in Canada will happen. However, you have to send in your old passport. I looked at mine one last time before putting it in the envelope. The photo is from Nov 1994. I was 18. I think I look so young in the photo. But what really surprised me was my hair style. It is the same as my new photo. Sure the hair is darker now and I have gained some weight since my teen days, who hasn't? But the style is the same. Now I have not had the same style during the 13 years. Every year or so I cut it short then I grow it long, you get the idea. My hair was super short and super cute at our wedding. I have thought about going back to that short. I think it was just a little strange to see two photos 13 years apart with the same style. I want to be the cutest little me I can for my 31st b-day.

So now I need to decide what I want to do with my hair. Grow it, cut it, color it?

we went, we walked, we livedstrong

LiveStrong was awesome. We went to the race expo last night and had fun. I filled out an "In Honor Of" sheet for Deb. That felt awesome. Bug was very good with the chaos and excitement. She found the CVS booth and fell in love with the little bean bag chairs that they had. I asked her if we needed to get some for home to which she replied "yes".

This morning came early. BestFriend was at the house by 6:15am. Bug did not understand why we were getting up so early and why the sun was not up. We found great parking and had plenty of time to warm up before the start of the race.

The race started and ended at the Capitol. Sweetie and me before the race.Bug and Sweetie listening to Lance's speech. The weather was perfect, though the sun was bright at a couple of locations. The best part for me was the music. There was a DJ mixing live while on a pedi-cab. Normally as a walker the fun stuff is already done by the time we get there. Not only did we get to dance while walking, we even passed the DJ. We passed a lot of people. Bug was awesome. She fell asleep shortly after the start and didn't wake up until we finished. Sweetie and Bug after the race. I did great. I even ran some. And I got a PR. YAY me!!!! Here I am after the race. BestFriend also got a PR. Of course, she ran the whole way and met us at the end. And two more photos to round out the post. This is my new cube and my new shoe laces. OK off to enjoy the rest of my weekend. Be safe.

LiveStrong Tomorrow

Tomorrow is LiveStrong. YAY. I have not been walking. But that is ok. I may be slow but I will finish.

Last night was so wonderful with my friends. My Divas are awesome. I am feeling so much better. It truly is amazing at how much better I am feeling. I am more focused, more awake, with more energy, higher sex drive (if you must know), and all in all feeling better.

I don't know what is going to happen with my thyroid. And I am ok with that. I am simply focusing on being healthier for me. But what I do know is when I said over and over and over and over the past oh 10 months that I felt I was hypo, I was. I have my blood work and I am going to keep it close to me. Regardless of how my thyroid goes I will be able to say "see these numbers, this is when I feel best, keep me here".

My b-day is a month away. YAY! Though Sweetie said that we are skipping it due to the anniversary coming up. He is funny. So my goal is to workout and be healthy and see a weight loss before my b-day. Nothing crazy, just down :-)

Ok Just realized that all the bosses are gone and all my peeps are gone, why am I here? I think I will go get a Bug and a Sweetie and go to packet pick up for LiveStrong.

Be healthy everyone!

Happy

Just a quick note to say how happy and great I feel. Tonight was dinner with my Divas. It was wonderful, as always.

This week has shown me how over medicated I was for many months. I am feeling so healthy.

well crap

Yesterday I had the WORST headache, it lasted all day. I took my normal meds, took a long nap, ate chocolate and bad food - normally works. Nope headache still continued.

Today I woke with a fever and the same headache. Blah. I have been drinking my water and hoping it was simply dehydration. However, when I got dressed I noticed that I have a rash on my legs. Not horrible but there nevertheless.

I can't like rashes so when I got home from the grocery store I went onto my trusty webmb.com and the symptom checker. One question asked if I was taking antibiotics. Yes. The details specifically said that sulfa drugs can cause this. Flash back to the Dr's office on Thursday, NP asked "can you take sulfa drugs". I said yes, not thinking twice about it.

I looked up the side effects for this drug:
1) Headache - check
2) dizziness - check
3) rash - check

Great. Just when I started to feel better I find out that my meds are not good for me. Guess I will be on the phone first thing in the morning for a new prescription.

I am off to try and get rid of this headache, take a bath for the rash, and get ready for next week.

feeling better

My sinus infection was bad enough for the dr to prescribe a double dose of antibiotics. I woke this morning feeling so much better. Still a little tired, but I woke contemplating going walking - don't worry I was smart and decided not just yet. Perhaps tomorrow, today is about resting and finishing getting rid of this infection.

Yesterday was Jim's b-day. He came over and we celebrated him. I hope I wasn't too much of a party pooper, I was just tired.

I have felt so bad with this infection that I have not fully celebrated my great thyroid news. I have not even told everyone. I think with feeling badly, it just hasn't seemed real.
____________________________________________________________________
Dear Ex High School Best Friend,
We have not spoken in over 4.5 years. I just want you to know that I find much solace in the fact that your bill collectors are calling my house DAILY to try and find you. However, please pay your bills as it is damn annoying to hear your name on my answering machine over and over. Isn't karma is a bitch?

Thank you
____________________________________________________________________

Now to pictures:

uhm.....ok

First things first, I have a HORRIBLE sinus infection. I have Dr's orders to go home and go to bed until Monday. Am I following them? No, I went back to work. But I did leave early and came home and slept for four hours.

Now onto the important news. I gave my blood yesterday like a good girl. And I got the call this morning about my results. I was all prepared to call and schedule my uptake scan as my final step before the RAI.

There has been a change of plans.

No RAI for me this month. You see my thyroid is normal. It is normal for the old standards, the new standards, and even the brand new standards that Drs in CA are following. Without meds for four weeks and it is normal. They are not saying remission yet. I go back at the end of November and test again. I had to have the nurse repeat herself and I just started laughing.

So what I thought were symptoms have been my brain (nice huh?) and my horrible sinus infection.

I cannot believe it, as of right now I am healthy. HEALTHY. I have not had a normal thyroid since the beginning of 2001. I don't even know what to think, how to act. And this sinus infection has totally stolen the thunder of this wonderful news. GRRRRRR!

So I have no excuses in regard to losing weight or studying for the CPA (though I will be watching my stress levels very closely as that is a cause of thyroid changes). And the best part? I get to continue to take my vitamin and calcium first thing in the morning. You cannot take vitamins and your thyroid medication at the same time. This meant I forgot my vitamins most days.

So not saying remission yet. But I am damn motivated to be healthy and do everything in my power to continue on this no medication route.

Step Two Complete

I gave my blood today for testing. I am ready to feel good again. On top of the Graves' coming back I have a sinus infection, or at least I think. I go to the Dr tomorrow. Normally I would want to suffer through, but I want to be feeling as good as I can when I take my little pill.

I hope to hear from the Dr tomorrow so I can schedule my uptake scan. My goal is still to get the RAI on the 16th, but of course this depends on scheduling and such.

Not much of a post. I just wanted to update everyone on my progress.

into the fog

Well I fully believe that my Graves' is back. No remission for me. All last week I was waking feeling sick to my stomach. I had to eat something like dry cereal to make it better. I didn't have any other symptoms but was wondering if I was pregnant, it was that much like morning sickness. It wasn't until Sunday when we got some breakfast and I got a diet coke and it was making my stomach feel better that I realized the issue. I know I am not pregnant. Instead I was reminded how I would have a diet coke for breakfast when I worked for Telecom and when I was losing all the weight so quickly. It was the same upset stomach feeling. Great! Mom has even noticed that I am getting a foggy brain. I am emotional and on the verge of tears and today I have some depression. I just wish I knew where I stood. I give my blood on Friday. Hopefully I can get my scan next week.

I ate badly all weekend and it caused me a gain, which really is not a surprise. I wanted to eat what I can't when I go low iodine. So chocolate, pastries, and burgers were on the menu. However, that changes today. You see I have three months until our anniversary. It is time for me to start working out again and eating right again and getting all hawt for my man, though he claims I already am ;-)

I changed cubicles on Friday. I am so happy that I did. My old cube just didn't feel right. This one is awesome. It is amazing what kind of change something like this can cause. I was so productive today. And while I feel my fuzzy brain is back in some respects, others I feel more on target - another reason I think I was hypo on my meds. I even brought in my posters from my cube at HES. Feels good to have my things finally surrounding me. I have been so timid for so long, afraid to let anyone in to know me, afraid of getting hurt. My boss has been such a great influence to push me past this. He has no idea at all. I am feeling so good here. I think passing my 1 year anniversary here last week helped a lot. Another sign of my growth is that I have been talking openly about my disease. That is big for me.

Friday will be four weeks since being off my meds. My dr said to be off for three to four. I think I will go for my blood work on Wednesday or Thursday, that way the Dr will get the results on Friday and I can go ahead and call ARA and make the appointment for the scan. I just want to feel normal.

My focus this week is my walking and trying to stay stress free. I am very excited about LiveStrong coming up. I know that I am not going to break any records, I just want to show my support for sure a great cause.

And that brings me to time to head out and get my big girl. Man, she is amazing. On Saturday we went to the park and played. It was so much fun. I have some great pictures to post as soon as I upload them.

Have a great evening everyone, I will try and post pics tonight.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIECE!!

Happy 40th BIL!!!

Tonight, as in Saturday night, we celebrated BIL's 40th b-day. Much fun was had. More to post, but now I must sleep.

as promised

Pictures are finally here, yay. I am writing this while listening to both Sweetie and Bug snore. It has been a rough week for us and sleep has been limited. We were all in bed before 8:30. I am so tired too, but can I sleep? Nope. Oh well, I figured I would write instead. Things are good today, though my eyes are bothering me more. I have no idea if it is my allergies or thyroid. I hate not knowing, means I am not in control. One more week without meds and I get my blood tested. I am still cautious about it all. BestFriend has planned more with the glow party and it truly makes me happy. I feel like I have a team cheering me on through this.

I found out this week that my friend A is pregnant with her #2. That makes the third person we know who is due in Feb. And while I have said a lot about wanting another baby and how I am getting healthy for that, I just want everyone to know that whatever happens, happens. Sweetie and I have had several long talks about how much we want more children, but if that is not in the cards for us, Bug is awesome and we are thrilled with her.

Weight Watchers at work has not started yet. They are waiting for a leader to be assigned. That is my one main complaint about this set up. With this program you need to find the right leader and there is no shopping around for other meeting/leaders like you can when you attend traditional meetings. Plus I hate it when I know the program better than the leaders. But I am having faith and letting go. I need the support and environment to continue my weight loss. But I must say that I am fighting going off program until it starts. Or the one that is harder to fight, going off until I take the RAI - or rather the week before due to the low-iodine diet. I keep thinking that once I get the treatment that I am going to have to be healthy and why not blow it until then. I know, the other part of me, the angel on my shoulder, says to stay good and that way I have less to lose after treatment. But that devil can be tempting. For lunch Sweetie and I went to Red Robin. I had a bad morning and ate poorly because of it. But I came back to work and counted all the points.

OK on to pictures:
Bug and me at the lake last Thursday. She didn't want her picture taken, she wanted to go and see the water.
The lake.
The geese that chased Bug and me.
My new iPod skin. don't you love it? This is so very me. And it makes me smile. Now I can listen to the CPA reviews at work.
And my new walking shoes. The photo does not capture the color. They are brown. Chocolate actually. I really like them, hope the feel great after walking for awhile. I think I was drawn to them because on the low-iodine diet you cannot eat chocolate.

feeling like sunshine

Pictures will come tonight. I upgraded my RAM. So much faster, yay!

I am feeling so good. I am convinced that I was hypo with my meds. Other than my eyes bothering me right now, and that might be overuse with the computer or allergies and not my Graves', I feel so much healthier. Now as my meds leave my body, I will become more hyper, so while I feel great now I should be experiencing more hyper side effects any day. It does not mean that I am cured or that I do not need the treatment. I have to remind myself. I am feeling so good and I cannot get my hopes up that I am in remission. I just wish that there was a pocket thyroid test so I could know everyday where I stand.

Monday I went to the girlie doc. All is well, pending anything strange from the pap. We discussed birth control, the upcoming RAI, and what I need to do for #2. Everything is set. I start my prenatals when I finish my current bottle of vitamins and stop the pill after the six month wait time after the RAI. Other than that the NP was excited and said she hopes to see me in the summer. YAY!!

This weekend is going to be crazy busy. We have BIL's 40th b-day on Saturday and niece's 11th b-day on Sunday. Which means we need to prepare during the week. And I need to get my butt out the door and walking. LiveStrong is coming up soon.

Give Blood

Thursday went as planned. We gave our blood and took Bug to the lake. It was very nice. Bug got to feed the ducks and geese. In fact, we had to run away from three big geese as we ran out of bread and they wanted more. I am sure that I looked silly. I need to upload the photos from the day. After that fun, we had a lovely dinner with Brother and SIL#1. It was a good day. We go back to give blood in November. And I received enough points to order this:I am now a level 2 donor. Please please please please please, if you are able to give blood, donate. I saved two lives on Thursday.

Friday was a good day. I am so happy where I work. We are, hopefully, going to have Weight Watchers at work. It is a 17 week commitment. The best part? They are paying 50%. When you lose your 10%, they are reimbursing the employees the remaining 50%. As long as you lose 10% of your initial weight, the program is free. That is a good incentive. So between work being a positive, scheduled upcoming walks, and support of friends and family, I hope to avoid the average weight gain with the RAI treatment. The whole goal is for me to be as healthy as possible in about 7 months so we can start thinking about trying for #2.

And speaking of my upcoming treatment, BestFriend is awesome. She is planning a glow party to celebrate my new adventure. Glow in the dark jewelry, nail polish, and buttons. It is a good thing.

and we begin the ride of the 10th anniversary

Ten years ago today is when my dad went into the hospital. Ten years ago tomorrow is when we lost him. This is always hard on me. I think about everything that has happened since we lost him, how much has changed. Luckily, I believe that he is watching us and checking in. Mom and I have talked about that day and have discovered that we both remember different things. We are both soldiers, we do what we need to in time of need.

Every year we gather and remember my father. We go to the lake where we scattered his ashes. However, this year we are adding something different. I decided that we are going to celebrate life instead of mourning death. Mom and I are leaving work early to give blood. We are going to save lives. This is going to be our new tradition.

And after tomorrow's donation, I will qualify for a mug. OK, fine, I admit it, it doesn't take much to make me happy.

Last night was not a picnic as planned, instead we went to dinner to celebrate Sweetie finishing a big project. Sweetie was awesome and brought me home a card and yellow daises. Here is a pic of Bug from last night with her new do:Tonight has been a wonderful step in parenting. We introduced Bug to Invader Zim. We are such good parents.

from the office of blue shirts

I have decided that I will get the RAI as soon as I can, meaning go to give blood on Oct 5th. This is a good date for a few reasons: 1) It is four weeks of not being on my meds 2)It is Jim's b-day 3) It is three years since we found out about Bug. And since it was my pregnancy that triggered this disease, it seems fitting. I am expecting to get my scan done the week of Oct 8th and the RAI the week of the 15th. That means that I will be on the low-iodine diet for LiveStrong, but that is ok. We can celebrate without food.

Today I am grateful for my Mom. She is so awesome about making sure that she doesn't overstep her boundaries. She helped me a lot today and I am grateful for every moment I have with her. I know how lucky I am to have a Mom who treats me like an adult and helps me make hard decisions. For that I am very very grateful.

Now the big question is CPA. It can take up to a year to get the meds regulated after RAI. Do I focus on health or use the test as a distraction? Right now I am planning on using it as a distraction, but allowing myself the option of postponing. Blah, being an adult is so hard.

Sweetie and I have a fun evening planned. If it doesn't rain, we are going to pack up the stroller and walk to a park for a picnic, at least that is the plan. We are very date oriented and today is a happy date for us. So I want to spend a lot of quality time with him tonight, I don't care what we do.

And with that, I think I am going to sneak out. My boss is out the next two days and I want to get a TON done so I look like a good little employee. And since procrastination is my BEST trait, I will leave the pile on my desk until tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a great evening.

light at the end of the tunnel

There is a light, I see it, can you see it? It is there. I have been CRAZY busy at work. But I am close to the end of the mad rush. I doubt I will be caught up this week, but hopefully next week. It is just nice to finally feel not so overwhelmed.

I am even starting to feel better. I highly recommend zicam. It sucks to take every three hours, and the not eating or drinking for 15 minutes after isn't great, but I believe it is what is helping me to feel better.

Tonight was a fun evening. We have taken Bug out of gymnastics. She is doing a recreation activity at school and seems to enjoy it more than the gymnastics. Instead we are going to spend a couple of nights a week focusing on running, playing with the soccer ball, and playing on the play ground. All about movement and being active. So tonight, since I am still recovering, we took it easy. After a yummy dinner we went for a run. Actually, this was prompted by Bug as she loves running. So we headed out. We went at least a mile and she ran most of it. It was awesome.

And here are some pics from dinner on Thursday (sorry BestFriend, couldn't resist, you know I want to be just like you):

Here is BestFriend - she is so beautiful - and amazing, AND look how skinny she is. DarkDiva is in the background. BestFriend and I have the same problem when photographing DarkDiva, all the photos come out blurry. This was the best one from the evening:Here is MotoDiva, she is the one trying to entice me into doing tris, I swear she can talk anyone into anything:This is IronDiva. She is the amazing woman who has completed two IronMan Tris. Being able to complete a 15 hour endurance event is one thing, but being cute and nice and awesome just makes it down right impossible to hate her. This is Michelle. She is the newest Diva. I am still learning about her, hence the lack of cool nickname. But so far she is fitting in nicely. And, of course, me! Hopefully I can get HowieMaui to come to next month's dinner.

17 - Today I am grateful for my healthy family. We ate healthy, we moved, we talked, and we are going to go to bed at a good hour. I love having a daughter who brings me shoes and says "running, mommy?" and while we are out "hurry up mommy, run".