Going Deep

Sweetie doesn't feel well and is resting with Bug. This gives me a chance to blog.

Last night went well. It was much deeper than the first time. Outcome? I am messed up. OK not really that bad. We discussed communication and how Sweetie and I fight. Good thing is that we don't do all the negative things that we could. Actually we don't fight too badly, but there is room for improvement. My problem is that I clam up. I try to run away. I stop talking, change rooms, slam doors. Well that is not true for all discussions. Simple arguments I am in it and fighting back. The same goes for over-the-top-world-ending conflicts. I might try to run but I stop myself and I keep on screaming. These are the ones that I become a different person and my hiding goes away. But for medium arguments, I try to escape. I know more than you wanted to know about me, but it is my blog so na-na.

The counselor suggested I should seek individual counseling on top of the couples. Nice. Actually I could use some. I have pent up feelings that I have not dealt with from many things over my life. When we discussed my wanting to run away with arguments, the counselor asked why I do it. When I said that I have always done it that way (seems it is a family trait), that is when additional counseling was suggested. We told the counselor that we had some good discussions that dealt with issues that would normally go into arguments without the arguments part over the last week. He suggested we try to have more of these over the next week while keeping in mind the negative argument tactics that we use, we discussed Sweetie's problems too so it wasn't all me. Overall, it was good.

Work was very good today. New boss was back and I was actually doing work that I am paid to do. It felt good. I really like my boss. He is not a micro-manager. He says that I am smart enough to figure a lot of it out on my own and smart enough to know when to ask questions. Indeed I am. I am teh smart.

Tomorrow is Friday - yay! Saturday is Niece's 10th b-day, should be a ton of fun.