Exposed

If you have ever sat in an empty and cold bathtub while fully clothed and crying, you can appreciate how good it can make you feel for a little person to come into the dark room with a smile that can light up the world. You can appreciate how good it can make you feel to hear her talk to you while laughing. I am sure telling amazing stories - that include rubber duckies found in Mom's dungeon. You can also appreciate when she asks to get into the tub with you and all she wants to do is hug you. Full on bear hugs. You cannot help but cry while squeezing her. She lifts up and laughs. Not like she is laughing at you, but more like sharing happiness. Another hug and a kiss. All is right with the world again. She takes the best care of me.

I am good. Nothing to worry about. I was just experiencing some sadness last night. I cope by hiding. I hide from family and friends. I was sad, so I hid. But I had to share this. I had to share how she got me out of the tub. I had to share what a great little person she is. She does not just cry because I cry, she tries to make me feel better. She knows how happy hugs and kisses make me.

Sweetie worked to make me happy by doing dishes and running to the store for needed items while Bug took care of me. He returned with a yummy and healthy dinner.

So why the sadness? I still think it is my medication. I am going to call the Dr next week - if not tomorrow. I really don't want to half my medication without her knowledge. I have been experiencing sadness - nothing as dramatic like suicidal or anything like that, I am fully functioning - as well as exhaustion. That is the only way to say it, exhaustion and not fatigue. I pass out at night, which is good, but I am tired all day. These are things that can be related to my medication. Or I am simply messed up.

In spite of the tub incident last night, I had a good evening. Sweetie and I watched a movie, ate a wonderful dinner, and talked. That is always good. We were going to play split, but I fell asleep.

The holidays are here. Tonight is an informal gathering so I can meet HowieMaui's newest SIL. This is her first Christmas in the States. We are going to watch Christmas specials and bake. I need to make things for tomorrow's Diva gathering as well as Christmas Eve Eve on Saturday.

Bug had an ENT appointment yesterday. After, we went shopping for some Stocking Stuffers for Sweetie. We were quite successful. It really put me into the holiday spirit. I do love this time of year.

Today is my parent's wedding anniversary. 33 years ago they went to a JP and got hitched. I am ever so grateful for this.

Did I mention that I am tired?

I really don't want to work today.

I went to my girlie doc follow up appointment this morning. All went well. I will get the results next week, though I am not worried. But as a reward, I got a peppermint mocha from Starbucks. Yummy Yummy,

Sweetie is off from work today. He is shopping for me while doing some cleaning and picking up some needed items for my baking. He is too good to me. This meant, of course, that he wanted to have lunch with me. That was a very nice break.

Unfortunately, there was an accident. With Sweetie's ever expanding creativeness we had a casualty. The glass on our coffee table broke today. Sweetie was attaching rivets to a project. With the last one, the glass broke. We have discussed getting a new coffee table. I think I know what our joint anniversary gift will be.