SPF : BEHIND and Haiku #3

This week's SPF - Behind. And since we do what Kristine tell us to without asking, I give you my behind pictures.

As this week's focus is MotoDiva, I give you her behind.
This is Bug from behind. I see this a lot lately as I chase her around.I was going to post a picture of how much I am behind at work, but cannot figure a way to do that without showing things I shouldn't. Busy is better than bored.

And now for our third installment of the Haiku for MotoDiva Challenge:

she has a talent
men take clothing off for her
oh how can I learn

Haiku #2

Walking: Last night Sweetie and I took Bug out in her stroller to walk to the park. When we got there she was asleep so we kept walking. It was a nice long slow walk. The perfect weather and some good conversation. This this morning I got up early and went walking. It was still dark, but I did 1.8 miles at a good pace. I was so sweaty when I got back that the shower felt so very good. Now we won't discuss the cake I ate a few minutes ago.

Now on to MotoDiva and haiku #2:

March two thousand three
I met this vibrant creature
life never the same

MotoDiva Haiku part 1

Actually, I am feeling great today. I am dressed cute and feeling sexy. However, I did not walk. But that is ok. I really like it when I walk with Sweetie and Bug at night. I am also very distracted today. Not in the kind of way where thoughts are revolving around someone or something. Nope, I am just plain distracted. Meaning, I was in the middle of writing up the bank transactions that I do almost daily - this is even a task I like. I wasn't even done writing up this one page and I found myself printing something else that I need to do. I am being productive, but damn I have to keep myself focused. So what do I do? I come on here to blog, lol.

MotoDiva's husband, J, started a haiku challenge. Those of us with blogs are supposed to write haikus about her upcoming birthday, it's the big 4-0. In honor of this I will be writing a Haiku a day for her.

thirty-five years old
how does she look so gorgeous
five years of practice

We are celebrating her on Saturday. It is going to to be so much fun. I cannot wait to see everyone. It has been so long since we had a full tribal gathering like this.

Bringing Sexy Back

Time to go deep again. My boss is on vacation so this week is crazy busy. Mostly self directed busy because I want him to come back and be like "WOW Missy is THE best employee ever, I will keep ignoring her coming in late and leaving early." But still, I find myself wanting to post today. Today is a rainy day and that always makes me look inward.

I said in an earlier post that I have been doing a lot of thinking. Well here is part of it. 2001 was a very bad year for us. Between lay offs and bad jobs and stress it was not good. I was lucky and was only out of work for 1 week. Sweetie was out for 16. This was a huge turning point in my life. I stayed in school through the stress- I worked full time while earning both my BBA and my MBA. My thyroid broke in the beginning of 2002. I gained weight. I was stressed. Life became about getting by and not planning. Things are changing. Now I am not saying the last 6 years have been completely horrible. Not in the least. I earned degrees, met some wonderful friends, completed two half marathons for LLS, and had my beautiful daughter.

However, I noticed something about me. I was focused on school. Then I was focused on school and pregnancy. Then I was focused on new baby. See where I am going. See how you can lose yourself. I realized that my clothes are all "get-by" clothes. Except for a couple of outfits for special occasions, all my clothing is the minimal amount to get by because of wanting to lose weight and not wanting to spend money on clothing that I will only shrink out of. My hair has even been the same way. I used to keep my hair short. Then I grew it out. I have really only cut my hair on a needed basis. I am not sure what I want to do with my hair, but I want something fun. The same goes for the house. Our house got out of control at this time, mostly because who can find the time to do housework when working 40+ hours a week and attending school full time. And now I see the CPA review coming up and worry about focusing on that and losing myself more. Nope, I cannot allow that.

I feel that I have been in a hole since 2001. No more. The ripple effect from that year is over. No longer. No longer will I think certain things were better before then.

So I am in a process of working on my self-esteem and me. I want to feel sexy and wonderful and most importantly me again. I am reclaiming control of all areas of my life. No longer am I going to settle for control over certain areas. I am going to live life today and not for "when" happens. In the past it was: when I finished school, when I had Bug, when I found a good job, when I passed the CPA, when I went into remission, when I lost weight. No more whens. Only now. Living for now.

My plan?

• I have five weeks until CPA review begins. I am going to use this time to work on me and my house. No miracles expected, no real goals. But I am going to focus on spending some time on me everyday. I am hoping to get the house in order. Nothing perfect, just more under control.
• As far as the weight, I am still trying to lose it. I am focusing on eating healthy and wonderful foods and my walking. I want to add yoga as well because I need more flexibility - but no rush. The goal is to move daily.
• Clothing, as I am an accountant, I cannot bring myself to buy new clothing yet. However, I am going to focus on accessories and such that make me feel special. That being said, I will be purchasing new outfits for the Blog Blowout and have already started the process of finding a great sundress for SIL#2's wedding.
• Hair, like I said, I am not sure what I want to do. I love the ponytail ease and look. However, I have thick hair and that makes for some head sweat. I am thinking of going shorter for the summer, like a short bob. Color? No idea.
• Hobby, I want to find something that is fun to do. Outside of work and CPA. Something that is relaxing. Not sure what yet, but I will find it.
• New experiences, the BlogBlowout is a big step in this direction. I cannot wait to meet these wonderful women. BestFriend is planning a tubing trip with the Divas, yay. And, of course, I am working on the next family vacation. Sweetie and I are wanting to go camping and enjoy nature.

Well, I am sure I bored everyone enough. I am excited and feeling very positive. I will keep everyone updated on my progress.

random thoughts

Random thoughts as I end my weekend.

~SIL#1 is going through a rough time. Friday night we got together and I had Bug work her magic. I hope she helped. That little girl can make anyone smile. I hate when my peeps are going through rough times.

~Last night was a lot of fun. We had dinner with HowieMaui, her DH, and BestFriend. We went to a small Mexican restaurant in Georgetown. It was very good food and not very busy. Bug can be very sensitive to atmospheres. For example she does not like Wendy's. Every time we go she has a fit. Well, this place was perfect for her. She was so very good. We laughed and had a great time. After, HowieMaui and her DH came back and we played on the wii we are borrowing. It was fun. And we owe your DH new sunglasses, HowieMaui.

~Sweetie doesn't feel well again. He has another fever. I tell you the man never gets sick, but when he does it is a bad one. Don't worry Bug and I are taking care of him. Poor guy even had to go into work today. If he still has a fever tomorrow morning he is going back to the doctor. I am hoping he doesn't have to go back and today is just a fluke.

SPF

"SPF: That was my favorite age with Kara. She was my little buddy and her favorite thing was to go check the mail with me. We were two little buddies who had no one but each other for friendship."

Two huh? Alrightly then.

Two branches with spring blooms. Two Duckies visiting my work.And last but not least, the first two portions of the CPA review that I begin next month.

Quick update

Quick update on training: Tuesday night we walked 1.5 miles. I was faster than I expected which is good. Yesterday, was a rest or an easy walk day. I opted to rest as I was slightly sore from the day before. Tonight I am skipping my workout as I am having a back muscle cramp up. That is ok, this is just the first week. I am by no means backing down :-)

Today was crazy busy at work. I really like what I do. For the most part, it is like solving little puzzles all day long. Today, it was a LOT of the same kind of puzzle. I completed over 500 of these multi-click repetitive puzzles. It makes for some tired eyes and wrists.

OK that is all for now. I am off to find "two". Wish me luck.

Training

Today starts my 8 week training for the Chuy's 5k. A 5k is 3.1 miles. This is not a huge distance. My longest walk to date was 18 miles. However, I am focusing on exercising regularly, gaining some speed, and the most important - and the one I have to remind myself of - gaining a solid base of fitness before starting a running program. I have a bad knee so I need to stick to slow and steady. BestFriend and Sweetie are doing it with me, though they run. HowieMaui might even come. The main thing is finishing the "race" so we can all go and celebrate while wearing our t-shirts.

So I am writing about it here, to make it official, and hopefully, accountable. Today's workout is 1.5 miles. I am trying to take this nice and slow.

I have been thinking a lot about me and my life and working on changing some things. This is a part of this process as well. I won't bore you with the details, but I will keep you up to date on the progress.

The day after Chuy's is Mother's day. I also want to complete the Daisy5k that weekend. It is a 5k dedicated to mothers and has a DAISY as the logo. I am so there. So that is my goal - Chuy's 5k on May 12th and Daisy 5k on May 13th.

I even added them to my side bar. I am committed now. As well as adding the Blog Blowout graphic. So much fun, I cannot wait.

stress free

My group is finally starting to feel better. While we are still coughing and weak, we are close to being considered healthy. The store today felt like a marathon. And even though Sweetie is also still on the mend, he was awesome and took over with the Bug watching to let me have a bubble bath. I loves me some bubble bath. Sweetie and Bug watched the Muppet Show while I relaxed, good times.
mmmm look how stress free I look. I am ready to start a new week. I hope everyone else was able to have a relaxing Sunday evening.

SPF

SPF: Your letters.

That is what I am focusing on right now - be happy. I still feel sick and that is getting to me. Not to mention Sweetie has the flu. Yep, he went to the dr yesterday with a 103.4 fever and walked out with three prescriptions. I hope he feels better soon. No fun when everyone doesn't feel good. As of this morning his fever is down to 99 but he doesn't have a voice, now I could get used to that. And I know that decongestants make me bitchy but I think they also make me depressed. Blah.

This also means the weekend is very unplanned. We wanted to start on the flooring, but I think that would be too much for Sweetie. All I want is some time with my family, some time with myself, and to accomplish some chores. That would make me very happy.

I have to feel better for next week. I am starting my exercise program to get me in shape for SIL#2's wedding, the LiveStrong Challenge, and ultimately the Turkey Trot. You see I start this CPA process on 4/30/07. This will take 6 months to finish. I want to finish by my b-day - mid November. But not only do I want to finish, I want to finish healthy and stronger than when I started. I can stress easily. Stress leads to sickness. I believe that if I am healthier during the stress I can eliminate (or at least reduce) the sickness.

I also want to start back up on my 365 project. The difference will be that it will not be 365 pictures of me. It will be 365 pictures of my life. The pictures that I take will be things that strike me as interesting or beautiful. I am not sure if I am starting today but it is coming.

I cannot let myself fall into that hole again. So I am trying everything in my power to change things that put me there. I realized I keep ending up in the hole because of walking backwards and I don't see it. I need to turn around and face the future in order to side step another fall.

how to make a mouse smile

Phone rings, look at caller ID, it is BestFriend. She tells me she wanted to come by but there was someone at my front door. I ask if this person was still at our door. She said yes and that it was a stranger and it scared her. I send Sweetie to the door. He comes back with this:
BestFriend left it at my doorstep. She wants to make sure I feel better. This balloon is huge. On the phone she said that she didn't want to come in due to the sick. I don't blame her as Sweetie's fever is once again back - must be due to getting me dinner and being awesome last night. Thank you BestFriend. You totally made my day. It is a true friend who takes the time to make a friend smile in spite of her own turmoil. Thank you. I know that I can get caught up in my own life and issues. I promise to be a better friend. In the meantime, I shall enjoy my balloon.

Shortly after receiving the balloon I took this picture. Springtime in Texas.

Sick - be gone with you

Yesterday, I was home sick. I kept Bug home as well to make sure she really was over her crap. Today, I am home sick and she is at school. I went to the doctor like a good girl. I have a very bad sinus infection. But the good news is that he ruled out strep, bronchitis, and meningitis. You don't want to hear the doctor say "you are the sickest person today". Ya thanks. I left with three prescriptions. One for some good antibiotic, one for a decongestant and one for eye drops because for two days my right eye won't stop watering - yep infected. Fun.

I get my prescriptions and dream about my time to sleep uninterrupted. I even considered a bubble bath if time allowed. When I get home I get a call from Sweetie, who is at the last day of SXSW. He says he doesn't feel good. He might take off at noon and come home. Sure enough while I was trying to sleep as my decongestant had not kicked in yet, I hear him come home and get into bed. Note to self, next mattress get one of those where a bowling ball bouncing won't move a glass of wine. I finally get some sleep as my airways opened and I could breathe through one nostril.

I wake up and figure I will move to the living room. As I am leaving I wake Sweetie up and ask how he feels sick. He says his whole body feels achy and hot (yet, he is under the covers) and how the drainage hurts. So I check his temp, 102.x. I get him medicine and one of my decongestants. Good thing the Dr gave me extra.

I was taking care of Bug while she was sick and I was sick (can I get an AMEN for all the single parents out there, I don't know how you do it). I so looked forward to SXSW being over so I could get my knight in shinning armor back. Well, SXSW is over but instead of my knight I have a sick husband and myself to take care of. And I know he is going to be too sick to be of any use tonight.

And did I mention that decongestants make me bitchy?

Super Fantastic Girl's Weekend

Bug had a rough weekend. On Friday around 4:45 my cell phone rings its horrible ring. If you don't know, I have the daycare set to the most annoying and horrible ring. This is so I know it is them and I will hear it if I am away from my cube. Long story short, she fell off a bike and got a knot on her forehead. The picture does not do it justice. Nasty I tell you. True to form though, she cried harder about losing the bike to another kid than the bump itself. She might be little but she is tough.Friday night she was a little more snuggly, but overall good. Saturday, Sweetie was at SXSW. Bug and I went to Target and had lunch with him. She was acting like she was starting to get sick and not feeling great, but she was all over her daddy, and we hoped she was fighting it. During lunch, she went to sleep on me. Not a good sign. I took her home. She didn't wake up even as I transferred her to the couch with me. She woke with a 101.4 fever. Poor bug. Last night, Mom and MIL came over to keep me company. I appreciated it as I anticipated Sweetie to be out very late. I had the sick under control, I just appreciate the company.

This morning, I woke feeling less than great. At one point both Bug and I had a 99.4 fever. Nothing horrible, but funny that we were the same. This meant our big fun day turned into a stay at home day. To convince myself that I am not getting sick I decided to clean the kitchen. I shined my sink, scrubed the counters and the stove top. It looks great and Sweetie was perfect and noticed. Brownie points to his reaction of "Holy Shit".

Tonight is full of thunder. I love this sound. This makes for good sleep. Here are some photos I took over the weekend to show that spring is here.

Uhad meets SXSW

For SPF - Scroll to the post below.

Happy Friday. Today I am in an overly emotional mood and I fear a spewing all over this post may be in order. Today is not bad emotional; not depression, not sadness, not badness.

Today I am feeling like me again. The depression started to lift on Thursday a week ago and then this week it is completely gone. I am feeling back in touch with the world, with reality, and with myself. This is a very good thing.

I am in the mood to feel life. This morning, as I left the house, I pulled over to take photos of a beautiful tree. Sweetie just smiled at me.

I am the kind of person who normally works in quiet. Songs distract me as I tend to listen intently. I can be perfectly happy with quiet. Sweetie is not this way. He has to have his music. Today, I am listening to music on my ipod on shuffle and I am getting my most favorite of songs. It is making me smile. Songs that helped me through hard times. Songs always get me through hard times. What I love about me is that I am able to listen to these songs that helped me through these times without reliving the pain/struggles. Instead I can see how far I have come, how different life is since then. I can look down the hole I was trapped in and acknowledge the fight to get back to "normal ground". Now I need to make sure I don't fall into the hole again.

Today is a good day. Sweetie is being way cool this weekend and attending the Interactive portion of SXSW. His work is paying him to go, lucky him. This means a girl's weekend. I am not sure what we are going to do, but we are going to have a blast.

At SXSW, Sweetie is passing out buttons with uhad on them. He called me after giving away the first one. It sounds like he is having a great time. I just hope he remembers to keep one for me.

So my goals for the weekend: walk, take photos of beautiful things, relax, enjoy my Bug, and chores.

SPF - Luggage

This is Uhad - he is on our luggage - and you can get him too if you go to Sweetie's cafe press store. Isn't he cute

This her her new big girl bed.

And it may not be a lighter and it may not be an entry way step - but it seems there are some things in the genes. Watch out American Idol.

Healthy

Healthy is a good thing. Healthy is a wonderful thing. When looking at test results and all numbers are comfortably within normal ranges, this is a very good thing. However, it can also be a very frustrating thing when you are hoping for a result to be out of range so medicine can be reduced. Yes, once again, I am not hypothyroid. I don't know what is up with my body. All my levels are in the normal range - ya no liver damage. But I was so very much hoping that on this one year anniversary that I would have my meds reduced. The plan is for me to stay on my meds, retest in three months, and go back in six months. This has me very motivated. I am going to be healthy healthy healthy.

I am in the absolute best mood today. I don't know why. I would have expected to be disappointed more. But I am good. For lunch I went over to Panda Express. I read while eating and sitting in the sun. It is the most beautiful day. And I am feeling better than I have in a long time. And that makes me smile. Sweetie is in a good mood today too. Maybe there is something in the air.

And while I anticipated postponing the CPA until my Graves' is further along, that has changed. Today, after the appointment, I decided that I am no longer postponing anything because of this disease. It is official - I start the class for the FAR section of the CPA on April 30th. YAY. That has me testing for FAR and BEC at the end of August. By the grace of God, I hope to be a CPA by the end of the year. And because of being enrolled back in 2004, the cost was only 10% of what I was going to pay for an in-class version. And this way I get to study where ever I go and on my time frame. The in-class version had two options, mon and wed from 6-10 or Saturday from 8-5. I am very excited. Must finish floors so I can start studying.

and now we wait

Waiting. I am so very good at it. Seriously, I can wait and be patient about anything. It is THE best trait I received from my mother. You hear about impulse people. Not me, I would rather not have it today. I would rather not know now. I would rather wait patiently.

Or NOT.

I was good and I gave my blood. The Dr's office should get the results tomorrow and my appointment is on Wednesday morning. Now, I wait. I wait to see if my meds are working and if they need to be adjusted. This weekend I did not eat good foods. I didn't do horrible, but I did not do good. And that is ok. SIL#2 told me it looks like I have lost 20 pounds. She is my new favorite person. I allowed myself to eat what I wanted without binging. But today I am back on the beach. Today I am healthy again. While I hate waiting. I am feeling much less stress. I gave my blood for the test. I cannot do anything to alter the results at this point. The ball is out of my court.

Last night we went bowling with MotoDiva, BestFriend, and some other friends. We had the best time. I created a new sport, cardio-bowl. It is going to make me rich I tell ya. OK it won't but I looked very silly for the evening. And we laughed a lot - laughing is good for everyone.

And I have to add, I can't like it when my friends are going through rough times. I can't. I want to help, I want to make it better. Being an adult with adult decisions sucks.

Very Wonderful Day

Today was a family day. It was a great family day. I truly love spending time with my little family. We enjoyed not one but TWO trips to IKEA today. The first was to get Bug new big girl bedding. We wanted something fun but not a comforter that dictated the theme of the room. I think we did great. We converted the crib to the toddler bed and almost have the big girl room ready.

The second trip was to begin the home improvement project four years in the making. We have officially started our flooring project. Started, meaning that we bought the first round of supplies. We are doing this in rounds. It will probably take six rounds for the full house, if we choose to do the bedrooms as well. This is determined by money as well as the amount of flooring my car can hold. For those of you who don't know, during spring break in 2003 I got FED UP with our carpet and I started ripping it up. Sweetie and I took on the task of ripping up the carpet in all rooms except the bedrooms and painted the concrete. We loved the way it looked. However, it is a bitch to clean and it is chipping. We did not seal it, only used paint - that is what the guy at L*owes told us to do. Now, I want something easier to clean and more finished. I am not complaining, we only spent $250 for our 2003 makeover. So now we are installing some nice maple flooring. I am sure progress reports will come regularly.

What else makes for a wonderful day? Dreaming. The whole day was us planning the future. We took a very long route home and we drove around talking and dreaming. We looked at neighborhoods that we really want to move into someday. We discussed how we want to stay in our current home until we are further along in my student loan payoff plan. That and we do love our little house.

So, if you come over to my house during the next two months, don't be surprised if you are put to work, of if we are working while we visit.

Oh that and a cafe vanilla frappachino - can I just say that is now my favorite drink. I know, not SouthBeach friendly, but anyways....

Friday Friday Friday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIL#2!!!!

Yesterday was less than productive. Our network at work was down. We cleaned our desks, did some random paperwork, went to lunch, chatted, and finally around 2 we were told that we could get on the internet because it was back up. Yay. At 3:30ish we were told to go home as the computers would not be up the remainder of the day. Luckily, as there is much work to do, we are back in full motion today. And even luckier, auditor didn't come - we postponed him again. Oops.

So, I am feeling better today, which is very good. I cannot wait until the appointment on Wednesday. I cannot promise that I will workout this weekend or even eat right. I will try, but the stress is blah. Oh and yesterday I found out that the person who sits next to me has the SAME thyroid dr as I do. Isn't it a small world? She had the surgery and is now hypo. Very interesting. I need to read more in my book before my appointment. Still crossing fingers that the meds are working and that they will reduce my dosage - positive thoughts, positive thoughts.

This weekend is going to be fun. Tonight is celebrating SIL#2's b-day, tomorrow is family day, and then Sunday is another sewing party for SIL#2 followed by bowling with friends. Yay. That along with the normal grocery store, laundry, and paying of bills and you have a packed weekend.

March and April are going to be busy for me. You see, I hope (pending the outcome of my appointment on Wednesday) to start the CPA review on April 30th. That means that the next two months are going to be spent working on my exercise and organization routines. We are hoping to have the house as a well oiled machine and my exercise as a habit. Flylady don't fail me now.

So work just asked me when I am going to sit for the CPA. I answered that the class starts April 30th. Crap, I just locked myself in. At least I didn't say I was going to sit in May.

Now time for me to pull out the ol spreadsheets. planning planning planning.