It is done

The test is complete. I am at work. I am fried. Cannot think and my hands even hurt. I feel like I completed another half marathon. The time was similar - 4 hours.

My reward? Snowballs. Yes the pink ones with coconut, marshmallow, chocolate cake and cream. Yummy.

Sweetie called me today just as I was to take my test wishing me good luck from him and Bug. Such a sweet message to hear right before taking the test.

My mom sent me the best e-card. It read: I don't care how you did today. I want you to know that, pass or fail, I am so proud to have you as my daughter. You are more than I could ever have dreamed of. Love, Mom.

She is so fantastic. This morning Bug woke up, but not hungry. As soon as I picked her up she calmed down. I took her back to my bed and we snuggled for about 30 minutes. What a wonderful way to wake up.

I know this is short. I simply wanted to check in, let you know I survived, and am gaining back brain power as I type this.

Operation Shutdown

Things are crazy emotional. I am losing my mind. I tried to study during lunch. It was a no-go. I wish it was because my brain is so full of knowledge. Nope, it is because I am tired of it all. I have a meeting with my boss at 2. I am dreading it. I am dreading everything about work. I wish I could just quit. This sucks.

OK enough complaining. I test in the morning. The theory is that I am not going to get on the computer tonight at all. We shall see how that goes. One of the other BIG parts of this test that is getting to me is that the testing location is next door to SKIDS. I have not been back there since I walked.

Would someone please have the company that I want to work for call me? I am a really good employee. In spite of what my boss says or me blogging right now.

I cannot wait until tomorrow night. I get to relax and celebrate my Best Friend's b-day. I think Sweetie shall drive and I will enjoy an adult beverage.

Was it something I said?

It happened. Bug ran away from us. She found a hidey hole and thinks it is fantastic. She crawled under the coffee table taking one of her favorite toys.

Three Days

Currently Sweetie and Bug are Christmas shopping for me. They are so good to give me the time I need to study.

Three days until the test. I am at the point where I do not care about the results. Yesterday was not productive at all. Bug woke up at 4am and we had a rough day with her needing her Mommy and not eating. We got less than half her normal intake into her. Very stressful.

As I have said before, my distractions right now are proving studying very hard. Between Bug and work, it is difficult. I realized if I don't pass, it is ok. I will know what to expect from the test, my application will be current, and I will feel like I am at least in the process. I am still planning to take Audit in February. The thing that makes me feel better is my auditor friend. She failed the Audit portion by one point. This is what she does for a living and she failed it. Not to mention how badly one point must feel. Her life is not over, she did not quit her job. She did not question her career. She simply kept testing. Don't get me wrong, I am going to study and study during these next three days. I am going to go in clear headed and do the best I can.

Tonight, before going to bed. Sweetie will finish reading the Magician's Nephew. The night I posted my wish list, he started reading to me. We started with book one because Sweetie wanted to know how Narnia came to be. However, it is not mandatory to read book one to understand The Lion Witch and the Wardrobe. He is so wonderful. When he reads he uses a different voice for each character. Not only that, he is consistent with it. Digory and Polly always sound the same.

OK, I posted and gave updates. Now I can focus on Studying.

No Christmas Tree

Nothing drastic. We did not get the decorations up as planned. My Sweetie was playing his game with his friends and we decided to do it after Bug went to bed. Well, she decided to stay up until 11:00. However, before going to bed, she made sure to essentially crawl at least 10 times in a row from one side of our rug to the other. We recorded her scooting on Nov 14th. Last night she did one of these scoots in her play pen for the family to see. Everyone reacted with being impressed. We were worried that Sweetie and I missed her first full out crawl as we did not see the movement in the crib. Then she did it again today in front of my Mom who also saw it last night. We confirmed that the movement last night was the same as we recorded on the 14th. But tonight was the first time back to back to back to back...etc.... and covering distance. I got it on tape. So very cool. We learned that when my Bug wants a cap to one of her bottles, she will go to great lengths to get it.

Oh and one other update. We did not attend the Turkey Trot as planned. Bug started coughing that morning. While it was only in the 50s for the event, we did not want to chance getting her cough worse.

All I have to say is a fan and AC on during Thanksgiving is just wrong.

White Roses

I am on the couch with Bug sleeping on me. I am absolutely in love with my life. It doesn't matter that my job sucks and I am not prepared for my test. I have a husband who adores me, and makes Thanksgiving fantastic. I have a home that I adore. Small but very us. Even with how we have changed over the years it is still us. We are listening to the "Magic of Christmas" on 95.5 - nonstop Christmas songs until Christmas. "Mary did you know" is playing. My mom and I love this song. While the Kenny Rogers song is good (he does sing mine and my Sweetie's song, "Lady"), we prefer Kathy Mattea's version on her album "Good News". This song really gets to me this year.

I had a headache all day. Now that I am doing better, I have a baby on me. It is ok. My Sweetie made a very good point. I was stressing about my test, not being ready and all. He said "Aren't you more stressed that you will pass?" I stopped and questioned what meant. He reminded me that once I pass one section, I only have 18 months to pass the remaining three. If the 18 months pass and I do not pass the other three, I lose the credit for all tests and have to start all over. That is a little overwhelming. This statement took a lot of stress off from me. He is the best ever.

Yesterday was wonderful. We ate in the evening. Sweetie BBQ'd the turkey, took half the time. After dinner we all simply sat back and talked. I caught everyone up on my work and Sweetie talked and talked and talked. If you know him at all, you know he can talk it up. I love it.

Tonight, we are putting up our Christmas decorations. It is yet another tradition. While we decorate we eat leftovers from the day before - yum ham sandwiches - and watch Miracle on 34th street. It is so much fun. I love the Christmas season. This one is so very special. Bug, of course, has no clue. However, I do, and that is all that matters.

The title? I am currently looking at the wool roses that Sweetie gave me in January for our 7th anniversary. So beautiful.

Waiting to go home

I am in a good mood. I just talked with a co-worker about the horrible mess. We both think my boss is having problems at home. It was good to let someone else know what is going on, other than my two good friends here.

I applied to about 10 places. One I really really really really want. It is for a financial analyst for a company that I have been dying to work for. Fingers are crossed. I could even carpool with Sweetie. No hopes up.

I also applied to work for UT. No, not the same UT that Sweetie worked. HowieMaui also works there and that could be fun. I need to get my resume and letter of intent in the mail for the position.

I finished my game plan for my studying this weekend. Not as bad as I thought. Then I can always do more problems if I feel I need to in the remaining time. My auditor friend took the test on Monday. She said it covers everything. She did not finish in the 4 hour time frame. She still had one more paragraph. She told me that I will do better. I hope so. I do not want to have to study for this again. I want to move onto the next section. Then I will be testing in Feb, and May. BLAH.

Here's to another 40 hours of studying before the test.

Thanksgiving Eve

Happy Thanksgiving Eve. Yes, this week has sucked ass. However, tomorrow is one of my favorite holidays, only second to Christmas.

What I am thankful for by Missy (these are in no particular order):
1) a healthy bug who makes me smile every time I see her
2) a husband who is creative, check out his new Specks comic
3) a best friend who gives the best gifts, who loves Christmas as much as I do (if not more) and supports me no matter what.
4) friends who agree with me when I am treated badly - wonderful feeling to know that I am not crazy
5) a mother who is more like a best friend than a mother
6) family in town that I can depend on
7) Sweetie, anything and everything about him, he is my soulmate
8) Being eligible to test on Wednesday.
9) My health, my home, my life
10) Me, I am at a point where I really like myself

In theory, we are attending the turkey trot tomorrow. Bug's school is sponsoring the Kid's K. We have to go and have fun. Sweetie is doing the turkey again - love it. Everyone is bringing food. We are not eating until 5. This means I should have a little time to study before the fun begins. After dinner, we will probably play games and moan in our misery (from being so stuffed).

This weekend I am focusing on studying. Sweetie gets a wonderful weekend with Bug. I hope they enjoy it. Wednesday is Best Friend's b-day as well as my testing day. That night we are celebrating both. Regardless if I pass or not, I will have succeeded in keeping my application active.

And I completely forgot to mention. On Saturday, I got into the next size down for jeans. It is so nice to wear jeans that are not baggy in the butt. It is even nicer to know that I can wear this size again. WOO HOO!!!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving. Enjoy your family and friends. I know I will.

30 Days

I am too pissed to really blog right now. I had a meeting with my fucking boss. Excuse my language. Actually please do not. I was told that I have 30 days to improve my work or I will be let go. WHAT???? ME?????? If anyone knows me this is very hard to understand. This would put me at being let go 10 days before YEAR END CLOSE. I think he has lost his mind.

Wish List

Stole this from SIL - but it is a great idea:

- Make a post to your blog or livejournal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all. The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

What do you wish for?

1. A job that I am happy with and appreciated - ok no one can help me there but myself - but it is a wish.
2. A clean house - yes stole this one too. But it is true, with Bug on the move very soon, we need to be ready.
3. Student loans paid - not realistic if you knew how much I have in student loan debt, I went to a great school that was private. Well worth it though. The plan is to be paid off in 10 years. But now would be so much easier. If that happened, I could work part time and tell my boss fuck you - see #1.
4. 80's movies that I love - then I can pretend I have time to watch them.
5. To read books with my Sweetie again - as in he reads to me - next on the list - a rereading of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe - last one I read was The Magician's Nephew (Book one) while I was pregnant and I need a refresher of book two before the movie. My dad gave me the best hard cover Narnia Collection years and years ago. Then I want to see the movie. I hope they hold true to the book.
6. To pass the FAR section of my CPA - I guess if I want that one I should stop blogging and start studying again. Stockholder's equity is waiting.
7. Traditions to introduce to Bug. Yay first holiday season.
8. A romantic evening with Sweetie to see the Nutcracker - already bought our tickets. Last year was so wonderful with dressing up and having fun. I want another - it is now a tradition.
9. Banana nut bread for Christmas morning.
10. Not Christmas, but close enough, an 8th anniversary that consists of our four traditions that we do every year. How well do you know us? Can you name them?

BLAH

I am studying like a good girl - going on 2 hours. Only 6 more planned for the day. I just had to get on, I know I know I am bad. But I want the world to know. Readers of Missy's World - please know that I HATE Deferred Taxes - both assets and liabilities. OK back to work. I need to find out how I did on my simulation. See it is the test's fault. There is a portion that has you research on the internet. Not my fault that I come here automatically. Good thing they won't have blogger at the testing site.

Cured? Like the ham.

OK so maybe not cured. But I did get out of the house today. Mom and I went on our annual shopping trip. We started at Starbucks and a Eggnog Chai Latte. Yummy. We hit a couple of stores, had a healthy lunch, and then we picked up a Bug from daycare. It was so good to see her at school. She loves being around the babies. I have no idea what Mom and I talked about before Bug came around. Before we picked her up, she was our main topic of conversation.

My studying sucked tonight. I still feel like crap and am about to go to bed. Alas, it can wait until tomorrow. My Boss e-mailed me to let me know he was going to be out of the office tomorrow. And I just finished chatting with the AP manger. She said her boss, my boss's boss, will also be out. Sounds like it is going to be a productive day. I am going to do my project first thing in the morning and then sneak in some studying.

I cannot wait until the test is over. Yes, it has hit the point that I simply want it over. Blah. Less than two weeks. I know there are three other sections and I may have to retake this one, but I cannot wait until December. I plan to read and craft.

Sweetie is so wonderful. He went and got me yummy dinner. He takes such good care of us. I am very very lucky. However, he is a uni-tasker. Much to his happiness, he found out this week that he is not alone.

Tomorrow night is a girl's night out. This is with my DI/Icom girlfriends. We are going to a sushi place and getting the back-room. It should be fun. I hope I am up for it. After Sushi the girls are going out to experience live music. I, however, will retire for studying. Unless, of course, I get a lot done at work lol.

Still Sick

I feel sick and like blogging. Strange combination. Bug is all better. She stayed home with me again today to make sure she is up for daycare. I think it was Sweetie's goal for her happiness and good to rub off on me. He also knows that when she is here, I will nap with her. While I am feeling a bit better, I am still coughing up nasty stuff and wheezing. Looks like the doctor's request of Friday return date is better than I thought.

Tomorrow is my dad's b-day. My mom and I normally go shopping. If I feel up to it, I still want to go to a couple of stores in the afternoon or something. Do not get me wrong, I am feeling better, but not up to par yet. I tell you, never plan to call in sick. You will end up really sick. Not fair.

Bug has been great today. She is entertaining me with her bald head. My mom says that with her bald head, she looks like I did at her age. She is really playing now and has a great personality. She laughs, dances, and smiles. Bob loves her enough to let her pet him. Such a good cat. The others stay away. I don't blame them.

CPA two weeks away. With everything going on, we will see. My only goal now is to take it and find out what to expect. I should get the results at the end of the year.

I have decided that I am testing the very slow option. I don't care how long it takes. Well, once I pass the first section, I only have 18 months the pass the reminder.

Thanksgiving is next week. YAY. I love Thanksgiving. We hope to do the turkey trot, me study some, and have Thanksgiving dinner in the evening - like when I was a kid. This means Sweetie doesn't have to get up quite so early for the bird. Bug and I may do the Turkey Trot alone. We shall see. It is a tradition that I want for my little family. The remainder of the day is with everyone else. I am making my famous fruit salad and maybe some green bean casserole. Other than that, I am a bad hostess and will let everyone fend for themselves.

ok diaper calls....

How a Bison says hello!

The wine tasting and zoo was fantastic. Butterflies were everywhere. I got to pet a zebra, camel, and bison. Bug loved it. That night, the party with high school friends was a lot of fun. My friend Chris even came. Yesterday, was the family gathering. Sweetie BBQd chicken and Mom baked a cake. I am so lucky to have the family and friends that I do.

Yesterday, I started feeling sick - coughing, sneezing, weezing, running nose. Blah. Bug also was not feeling up to par. Today I got the call at work that Bug was sick as well. Great. So we both went to the doctor. I think it was her plan to make sure I went in. She has an ear infection and can go back to daycare on Wednesday. I, however, have bronchitis. I am prone to it. I am not to go back to work until Friday. We shall see how my boss reacts to this. I called him and, of course, I got his voice mail.

We had a big evening. Two important things happen. For those of you who don't know, Bug started losing her hair on the sides of her head. This left a silly looking mohawk. Many wise individuals adviced us to shave her head so that it will come in even. Well, after I cried some, we did it. I now have a bald baby. She looks so different - but still cutest ever. She also had her first almost crawl. Her knees were under her as she moved forward. I would not call it a crawl yet, but so close.

I must go to sleep now am feeling sick in ways that I do not like to write about - it involves a lot of running quickly to the bathroom from both ends. Yucky Yucky Yucky.

Introducing - Bald Bug!

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

Yes, today is my actual birthday. This day 29 years ago, I came into the world. Last night Sweetie and I enjoyed a relaxing dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. We came home and I went to bed early. I awoke to a happy baby and have had a relaxing morning. I am currently waiting for my hair to finish - yes, dying it again. I cannot help it, I like change.

However, there is a reason that I am blogging this morning. Not because of the wonderful gifts I already received from MIL, Mom, Sweetie, and Bug. But I have a bigger gift to post about. The gift to myself. No, not the bubble bath, hope to get that in tonight or tomorrow morning.

I did it. I met my birthday weight loss goal. I am totally shocked by it. I have lost 50 pounds. That is fifty pounds. FIFTY!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY I had Sweetie come over to confirm. He thought it was amazing. I am feeling great. Please note the new sticker on the side.

Now I must get ready for an amazing day. Go away cough, you won't ruin my day.

Almost Almost Old

Tomorrow I will be Almost Old. 29 years old. I am excited. Tonight is going to be a date with Sweetie and a relaxing bubble bath after. I must get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is the wine tasting and zoo. I am so excited.

Quick post

Quick post before heading to a happy hour with two ex-classmates. It will be fun.

Last night was a great dinner with MotoDiva and DarkDiva. We discussed MotoDiva's 20 year reunion and my 10 year. MotoDiva's was in NYC. She even watched the finishers of the NY Marathon. That is a goal of mine, a far off goal - but a goal nevertheless. MotoDiva's b-day is in the end of March. She wants to take the three of us, and maybe Sweetie if he is good, to NYC for a visit. Sweetie and I have never been but have always wanted to go. It might just be a lot of fun :-)

Two weeks until Thanksgiving. I cannot wait. However, I have to find time to clean in between studying. If only my vacuum had a book rack. Who am I kidding? I do not vacuum, my Sweetie does everything. He is amazing. We need to figure out what Bug is going to wear for Thanksgiving dinner. I know in the morning we are going to the Turkey Trot. Want it to be a new family tradition. Bug's school will have a tent with face painting. Yay.

I had a bad dream about the test last night/this morning. Basically, I goofed off and all of the sudden it was time to take the test and I had not studied anything more than what I have at this point. I have to take the pressure off of myself. I have a family who I adore and who need me. Many brilliant people have had to take it twice, or more. If I don't pass, there is always next time and I will be better prepared. However, I am not giving up without a fight. I plan to do as well as I possibly can during that four hour period on Nov 30th.

Sweetie is picking up bug, going shopping (FOR ME), and coming to the happy hour to show off our baby. One has not seen her and the other last saw her at the end of August. She is completely different now.

I hope everyone has a great evening.

Back on Topic

I hate miscommunication and misunderstandings.

With that said, back on topic.

What was the topic? Oh yes, it was me. All about me. Three days until my b-day. Not sure about the plans for Friday. Things have changed as BestFriend's husband has a test on Saturday morning. This means Sweetie and I might get a date night. Regardless we will have fun.

This past Monday my bug turned 5 months. Yes everyone, FIVE months. She is huge. As a celebration I let her play with her food and spoon. Talk about a HUGE mess. At least she had fun.

She now knows how to roll to get where she wants to go. Next step is crawling. I am so not ready for that.

Tonight I am having a late gathering with MotoDiva and Darkdiva. Should be some good girl talk and pancakes.

Alas, it is time to get my Bug.

Shame on Texas

It saddens me to report the results of the election today. The amendment to define marriage as only a man and woman passed. IT PASSED! How is this possible? How can people be this stupid? I am emotional as I write this. Travis County, the majority of Austin voted against. This makes me happy. Austin has a very liberal reputation with things like this. However, the remaining portions of the state did not agree. I saw an interview with a man on the against side. He was taking the loss in stride. He explained that other discrimination cases did not pass the first time, race or sex, he said that the Travis County results made him want to keep working. He said there will come a day when gay marriage is recognized. I only hope it happens in his lifetime.

This evening is the first time I have felt ashamed of my State. It makes me sad.

Please Vote

While I try to keep political discussions out of my blog, today is very different.

Today is Election day. Today in Williamson County, we have a ballot without people. This election is supposed to have the highest turnout for a ballot with only amendments. There is good reason. Texas has a very important issue at hand.

Proposition Two: Amendment 2
Brief Explanation as on KXAN's website:
HJR 6 would provide that marriage in Texas is solely the union of a man and woman, and that the state and its political subdivisions could not create or recognize any legal status identical to or similar to marriage, including such legal status relationships created outside of Texas.

I am voting against this absurd amendment. My Sweetie and I believe, no backlash please as this is our opinion, that gay marriage should be allowed. If you do not know, we go to an Episcopal church - women as priests and an openly gay man as a Bishop. One of my greatest friends is a gay man. I believe God made us to be happy and Christian-like (we do not believe that everyone has to worship the way we do - but that is a different blog altogether). Why should this not include those who love the same sex?

I believe everyone should vote No today, regardless of what you believe. Imagine, if you will, that you are gay, have a committed relationship for longer than most straight couples you know, and you are madly in love with your partner. How would it make you feel if you were told your relationship wasn't real, that your commitment didn't matter, that the feelings in your heart were wrong? How would you feel if you were told you were sinning by simply fulfilling your heart, the way God made you?

One of the things I love about my company is that we offer "same-sex" benefits. This is awesome. Times are changing. Look around, everything is changing. In the state of the world right now shouldn't we encourage more love. How can loving someone be wrong?

You want to know the funny thing? For all those reading this who think I am crazy, regardless of how this law passes, there will still be individuals who are gay and in your community. They will still have relationships. They will still feel love in their heart for the same sex. This election will not change this. What does voting No do? It shows that we have respect for these people. It shows that we believe that all individuals should have the same rights. This is America. Voting Yes is discrimination, the same as that based on sex or race.

Be a real Christian and do not judge that you do not understand.

Vote No and show that Texans are not closed minded hillbilies.

I will step down from my soap box now.

A Wonderful Day

This morning began so wonderfully with me waking to a talking baby. If only I knew what she was saying. It was only an hour after her last feeding so I knew she wasn't hungry. I listened for a few seconds smiling, I love listening to her babble. I run in and hug my beautiful baby. We play and snuggle and end up sleeping on the couch all snuggled for over an hour.

The baptism was fantastic. We sat in the front row with our best friends. Such a beautiful day. During her actual baptism she did not cry. She looked very confused as to why she needed her hair washed again today. She was so wonderful. At one point during the service she got a little antsy. I took her to the cry room. There was a mom in there already, to another girl that was baptized. We had a nice talk. Her daughter is 1.5 months older than Bug and they live close to us, I am thinking potential playmate.

My Sweetie was so cute. He wanted to get Bug a Bible for the baptism. We went to the Christian Bookstore yesterday. He found one right away for her. It came up that he did not have a bible to call his own. He proceeded to look for a bible for himself. This took quite some time as he sat down and examined the different kinds. Alas, he did find one for himself. Having Bug has really brought out our faith. I love it.

After the baptism, I decided that I did not want to deal with a restaurant - getting seated, splitting the check, not being able to hear everyone, and Bug getting cranky. So I had the idea for everyone to bring food to a park near our house. This is a park I used to go to as a child. Sweetie thought it was a great idea. It was perfect. Sitting in the shade at a picnic table, bug could make noise without causing distractions. Everyone had food they wanted and we could hear all conversations. It was perfect. After a couple of photos, we changed bug into a more comfortable outfit that would allow playing. Don't worry, I will post photos as soon as they develop. She was so beautiful in her dress.

Yesterday was also DarkDiva's youngest's b-day party. Bug's first non-family kid party. She did great. She watched the older kids with amazement, how do they do that running and sitting? She even went down her first slide. Then last night MIL and Niece came over and we all went out for icecream sundaes. What a treat.

Bug has had a huge weekend and the next one is going to be at the same fast pace. I am currently writing this as Sweetie, Mom, and MIL solve puzzles. And, understandably, Bug is sound asleep.

I am so happy. Nothing better than being in your Husband's arms while watching your daughter receive baptism.

Oh and I am just going to add that my AC was running a few minutes ago. Come on, it is November.

Whistlng in the Dark

There’s only one thing that I know how to do well
And I’ve often been told that you only can do
What you know how to do well
And that’s be you,
Be what you’re like,
Be like yourself,
And so I’m having a wonderful time
But I’d rather be whistling in the dark

Pictures Pictures Pictures

you asked for it. ok maybe you didn't. who cares.

It is all about me

That is what my Bug's onesie read yesterday. And indeed it is true.

However, for one day it gets to be about me, alright for a weekend.

Still 10 days away, but plans are coming along nicely.

Friday night hopefully we are going to movies with Best Friend, Her husband, and Sam.
Saturday during the day will have a wine tasting and zoo with DarkDiva and MotoDiva.
Saturday night is a party with the girls I connected with at the reunion.
Sunday is going to be family day.

I am tired just writing this. Plus getting in 9 hours of study from Friday-Sunday. It will be good. I know that I want a long bubble bath. My last one was before Bug arrived.

Four weeks from today is my test. I can do it. I had a small breakdown this morning. Luckily I had my cheering section, Sweetie, to tell me that I can do it.

Now it is time to pick up my bug.

**PICTURES ARE COMING SOON**

HUGE SUCCESS

This Halloween was a huge success. Sweetie and SIL won costume contests at their works. Our plans changed slightly for our night celebration. We went to MIL's to show off Bug - oh I mean Cow. When we got there we did not want to leave. You see, Sweetie's family loves this holiday and in the past it has been spent together. Sweetie dressed in his real tall and creepy outfit, Bug as her Cow, and me as the pilot. We went trick-or-treating with SIL, BIL-to-be, and niece. It was so much fun to show off Bug. SIL's costume was fantastic. Then we went to Mom's and showed off Bug some more. It was a great evening.

Today is Sweetie's dad's b-day. He would be 56. He would be very happy that we celebrated last night together. Happy Birthday!

Today last year was the first time we saw Bug. Our 8 week ultrasound. And now she is a crazy rolling, laughing, and "talking" baby. So awesome.