Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Another New Attempt

Today has not been productive. Or maybe it has. My boss is out on a CPE training. I cannot wait until I go to these. Not only is he out, his boss is out, and her boss is out. See where I am going with this? I came in to find work waiting on my chair. I completed what was there. That was well before lunch. I could have moved on to the next month with the items we have covered, working on July's close right now. But nope, I felt like being unproductive. LoL.

I started to experience some depression and Sweetie, knowing me better than anyone else, demanded I have lunch with him. I know it sounds harsh, but he knew that I needed to get out of the office. I cannot wait until I move into my actual office and out of this gray cube, I think the depression will be less solely because of sunshine. I went to lunch and it helped. We were close to home so I stopped and picked up my "Office Yoga" book, hand lotion, and the new Enigma CD. Sweetie knew exactly what I needed. Thank you, Sweetie. I love you.

And I am giving up the scale. Since I rejoined WW, I have lost 1.6 pounds - that is all. So my new approach is eating to feel energy and exercising to feel stronger. Novel concept, isn't it? It is actually going to be hard for me. But I am convinced that weight loss is not possible right now with my meds. It might get easier in December when my meds are lowered (please let them be lowered). But the goal is to keep lowering which means I will continue to be overmedicated. Which will mean inability to lose and perhaps even gaining. So I am letting go. I am trying to let go of a lot lately. Instead, I am focusing on eating more Southbeach like, as I keep reading that a diet like this is the best for thyroid, and exercise that makes me happy. No counting, no weighing. I like control. No let's be honest, I love control. It is a main theme in my life. And one I am working on. But I have no control on my weight loss. And a diet is all about control. So I am going back to what I was like when I was pregnant. I only ate when I was hungry, I didn't over indulge, and I only weighed at the Dr's office once a month (until the end when the appointments increased). Now I did watch that weight and kept it in the back of my mind, I did not ignore it completely. So if I go with that mind set and add exercise I should get healthier, even if I do not lose weight. I am just moving weight loss from the front of my mind to the back. And weight loss is not the end all measure. The main thing is to come up with other ways to observe my progress rather than the scale. Clothing is a good one. So are measurements. And lets not forget pictures. But if I am able to exercise longer, lift more, or sleep better and the scale hasn't moved, who cares really. And if after a month it does move, Right On!

So while that may sound like other posts I have written, this time is very different. I am going to take an assessment and then put the scale away until 4 weeks from now. I will keep everyone posted. Sweetie is pushing for our family walks to move to a daily basis and I want to get more into yoga.

Much like everything else in my life right now, this is a work in progress.

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