Softball

Last night was counseling session #6. I think that this will be the last one with this guy. I think we have come to the end of his resources. We really wanted to give him a chance so we kept going. Plus even if the session wasn't as insightful as we hoped, it motivated discussions between us that were very good. They say, who are they, I don't know, but they say that you should give it six weeks. And I feel we did that. Last night we discussed my depression. This is a really good topic. I was told to journal; get everything negative out of my head and on paper. That way it is no longer in my head. I was listening and thinking, yes this is called free-writing and I have done it before. I felt I knew that he was going to say that I should get it all out and then throw away the paper - like getting rid of the bad thoughts about myself and such. Nope he said that I should keep it close by and if I start to think bad thoughts again tell myself that I can read them. OK I am a dweller. That would not be good, I would reread. Hell, I reread my blog, over and over. The joke in my house is that my blog is my favorite. When he first started talking he said for me to keep it private so I could feel open to writing anything that came out. Then he said I might want to share it with Sweetie. Now I am not knocking journaling or the free-writing experience, I think they can be very helpful. But I did not get the feeling that this guy knew what he was talking about. Then at the end Sweetie asked what he could do when I feel low. He asked if there were any tricks/tips that could help me. Seems like a good question. The counselor said "only Melissa can tell you that, Melissa what do you want?" I told him that I didn't know. Sweetie rephrased it and asked if there was anything he should try in the meantime while I am figuring out what would help the most. Again he got the same answer on how everyone is different and only I can answer that. Now don't get me wrong, he was correct, only I know what I need. However, we expected something from his 18 years experience that could help. Even if it was along the lines of what helped other patients, this has been his tactic with everything else.

So now we are trying to decide if we find another counselor or what. Even with it being less than, I think we got a lot out of the experience. We bought the books he suggested. I don't think he was completely horrible, I just think we want a level deeper. Counselors should have levels like in martial arts. Sometimes a senior green belt is good, other times you need a decided second degree black.

In other news, we are still undecided on the weekend, lol. Part of me wants a great romantic weekend. The other part thinks that doing a project together would be very romantic in another way. Plus it would make me feel accomplished before my upcoming new decade. If we decide to stay home, I will take a TON of before and after photos. Hopefully the after will be wonderful enough to make me want to post the before, lol.

Sweetie's company was going to have a softball game this afternoon with a catered lunch. It got cancelled due to the rain yesterday and thus wet fields today. So we decided that if this happened that we would lunch together. I went to my car to leave for lunch. After getting into the car I notice a note under the windshield wiper. I look around to see if the other cars have this same notice. Nothing on any other cars. I then get paranoid that someone hit my car and they were leaving a note to let me know. I get the note and see a small hand-drawn softball on the front. I knew it was from my Sweetie. It was a handwritten card that spoke of how he was happy that the softball game was cancelled because that meant he got to have lunch with me. That made me smile. He went out of his way to come to my work to leave me this surprise. We then had a fantastic lunch.

We just finished playing my first game ever of StarCraft. We played it against one another, although mostly this was a learning experience for me, as will be the first dozen games I suppose. It was a lot of fun. I have always enjoyed playing games with Sweetie and I am very happy to have the opportunity to connect with Sweetie on something like this. And don't get me wrong, he will get his. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But someday I will beat him at this game.

Now it is time for bed. Today was a good day. I like good days.

The books the counselor suggested were: The Five Love Languages, Loving Solutions, and The Five Languages of Apology. These will go nicely with the books we already have :-)