Sunday, June 12, 2005

Home Again

This will most likely be a long post. I have many days to blog about. Currently I am sitting in my dining room with a bassinet next to me and my Sweetie on the couch taking a nap. However, that I am getting ahead of myself.

Since I do not wish to bore you with the details of Tuesday’s surgery, although I find it all very exciting, I will try to hit the main points. We arrived at the hospital at 11 for my surgery at 1. This was exciting. My Sweetie and I took pictures of my soon to be smaller belly and generally hung out. My mom met us in the pre-op room and helped to entertain us. Unfortunately my doctor was running late due to another surgery. I did not go into the operating room until almost 3:00.

Here is the cliff notes version of what happened. I walked into the operating room to start the process. Sweetie puts on his scrubs and joins me when he is allowed into the sterile environment. The first thing I receive is a spinal tap. The first attempt did not take and I received some pain. I consider myself to have a high tolerance of pain and I was brought to tears. The second attempt was much better and began working instantly. You know how when you drink your legs become very heavy. This is what it felt like at first. The next thing I knew I was numb from the nipples down – yes this is what the anesthesiologist told me to expect, not chest but nipples. We thought he was crazy for saying this. However, it is true. I was not numb from the chest down, but more specifically from the nipples down. I did not feel the tugging or pulling that I read I would in the beginning. Actually, I do not even know when they officially started. They allowed my Sweetie to come into the room. I was so happy to see him. I had already gotten sick due to the spinal tap and just needed his presence. My Sweetie was cheering me on and making sure that I was ok. I was great and even cracked a few jokes with everyone in the room. The next thing we hear is about the size of her head. This caused my Sweetie to stand up and watch the surgery. While he did not see the initial incision, he did watch everything else. I can officially say that my man knows me inside and out. Next thing I know is that I feel a HUGE pressure on my chest. Keep in mind that I had a screen blocking my view of anything. The pressure (which I expected from my research) was the action of pushing the baby out. She was already engaged in my pelvis some and this was harder than anticipated. I would not have been able to deliver her naturally. Then I hear “Here she comes” from the doctor and I instantly begin to tear up. He brought her out and said “I am sorry, but I have to show her to you right now she is so beautiful.” And she was. My Sweetie went to her side while they began finishing up with me. After an initial cleaning, her brought her to me. We both were overcome with tears. I was able to kiss her a couple times and he went to the nursery with her to get her checked out. The nurse called a few minutes later to find out her official stats.

At 3:04pm on June 7, 2005, Serif Paige Tolleson entered the world weighing a whopping 6lbs 3oz and 19 inches in length.

By the time the staff was ready to move me into the recovery room, I was already losing some of my numbness. While in recovery, my Sweetie brought her to me to hold and attempt breastfeeding. She could only stay a minute because she had an appointment with a bath. I finished in recovery and got to check into my room. The numbness was all but gone at this point. Due to the late surgery, it was not long before visitors began filling the room. In fact, I had visitors before I had my baby in my arms. My room was filled with people. I felt so very blessed, loved, happy, overcome and amazing. My Sweetie stayed with the baby no matter where she went and took perfect care of me when he was in the room. He constantly told me through tear filled eyes how much he loves me and how I am so beautiful.

We stayed four nights. Sweetie stayed each night with me. I was not feeling bad at all. Tuesday night I stood up without any problems. By Wednesday morning, I met the requirements to enjoy a normal diet of hospital food. Wednesday afternoon I was unhooked from the machines and able to take a shower on my own. I was very impressed with my progress. Thursday night Serif’s weight showed more than a 10% weight loss. This combined with her petite size had us stay an extra night. Friday night she showed everyone and gained back enough weight to allow her to go home without concern.

Throughout this “vacation”, I was very well taken care of. I have to brag about my Sweetie. He was so wonderful. As of writing this, I still have not changed a diaper. Due to the surgery, I was still in the operating room when he went to the nursery and the nurses went over swaddling, diapers, umbilical cord care, burping, and various other words of wisdom. He came to the room prepared and very competent. He got up with me to console her each time she cried. When she was not easily consoled, he had me stay in bed and he paced with her. I know that he is my partner in this. He is already such a great father. Even the nurses commented on how great he is. He was so involved with the pregnancy. I knew he would be great when she arrived. However, I had no idea how above and beyond he would be. He would have me nap while he stayed awake. While I was pumping, he would bring me water without me asking him to and help me drink it since I did not have a free hand. He got very excited to be able to feed Serif when we introduced an SNS feeding system into the routine. And he showed the correct amount of concern when we found out about her weight loss. As I sit here, I can see his detailed log of Serif’s activities (feedings and diapers). He loves her so much. He loves me so much. He loves our family so much.

We came home yesterday afternoon after taping a magical moment with a large butterfly and receiving the ok from a pediatrician. Once home my Sweetie went to the door first so that he could tape Serif and me getting out of the car and coming into the house. Inside we found a wonderful surprise. My friends borrowed my Mom’s house key and came in and left vases filled with flowers throughout the house. It was a wonderful surprise. The afternoon/evening consisted of both Grandmas coming over as well as Brother.

It was such a magical journey. Since this post is almost twice the length I normally like to write, I will begin a new post to discuss our first night home.

I am so unbelievably happy.

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