Erin hacking the blog again

You can delete this when you read it M, but I wanted the world to see
1. How grateful I am that you're in my life
2. How sorry I am that I am a dunce friend who doesn't know the right thing to do

So, world out there, here goes:

Last night I head to Daisymouse's mom's house to visit with my friend whom I have been so desperate to see because I needed to see with my own eyes that she was ok. I entered the house, Mr. Daisymouse answers the door and I go in. She was on the couch watching Bug. Her sadness was so deep and so substantial you could actually physically feel the pain of it on your skin when you entered the house. But strong as she is, she was moving and talking and being thoughtful of other people.

We had plans to go out to eat. During my time with them, she tried to speak to me about the miscarriage a couple times. I should have queried her, asked her about things, listened to her talk it out, but I was so desperate to not see her hurt anymore, I couldn't make my brain talk about it. I talked about everything and anything else like a moron. I wanted to see her smile again and be distracted by mundane things.

As soon as I left I berated myself for being so emotionally inept. Got home and sent her a flurry of txt messages apologizing, telling her how much I love her and how important she is to me. I hope she understands and forgives me.

To Daisymouse,
1. You are my rent-a-kid-sister and best friend and I will do anything for you, go anywhere at any time, and I wish to God there was something I could do or say to take some of the pain away
2. I will never be one of those people who, albeit with good motives, try to make it better by saying they know how you feel. I am aware that this pain you are going through is a pain unique to you in all the world in all time, but I promise to be there to listen and from now on, I won't try to hide behind mundane topics because I'm scared of you being hurt
3. I will never shrug it off saying there's always another or there's always Bug, because I know this was a separate person and the pain can not be replaced by substituting anything else in its place
4. I know you are at the beginning of a journey that you will walk alone, but please please please come back to us when you're ready. We need you so much. You're my family. My role model. My best friend. And in total honesty, my favorite person in all the world. You are so beautiful and without a doubt beloved by this world and by me.

:(