Last night my Sweetie and I went to the culinary flavors of Austin for Cystic Fibrosis. My Sweetie does volunteer design work for the organization so our tickets were free. It was awesome. A chance to dress up and go on the town.
The food was very good. Many restaurants came and brought some delectable tastes. We walked around, bid on a silent auction, drank free wine and ate free food. It was for a great cause and something my Sweetie and I enjoy greatly.
The best part was the silent auction. We won the bid on two tickets to see Carmina Burana by Ballet Austin in the directors circle. This is something we planned to see anyway, now we have guaranteed good seats.
The evening is one we shall never forget.
One interesting thing did occur while we were there. We ran into one of my Sweetie's old co-workers. It was a little awkward, but my Sweetie didn't let it get to him at all.
I think over 7 weeks of a whacked out sleep schedule is getting to me, I am so tired. The worst thing is that I have no motivation to go to bed early. I have a month to get myself on a schedule, I know I can do it.
Between time, heat, plans, and rain; I did not work out yesterday or today. It is ok, I have to let go of the perfectionist side of me. I will do my best.
I know this post is short, enjoy the pictures that I posted. I love that Blogger lets you post pictures from your desktop now. This means a lot more pictures will be posted on my blog.
Friday, July 29, 2005
My Sweetie and JuneBug
I love this photo. We were at the grocery store. That is my Sweetie. There is nothing sexier than a father.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Late Night Check In
I have not had a chance to post twice in one day for awhile. Yes, this counts as twice in one day since I have not gone to bed. I just finished day four of my book. It is about passion. I am so happy today. I have been all day. My heart feels full and golden. My passion for life and most importantly my Sweetie makes me want to dance and sing for everyone to hear. I know how lucky I am. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful family who love and care for my little girl. I have a man who will do anything to make me happy. I went walking tonight. This time I took along my Sweetie and my JuneBug. It was a great walk. This breaking in gently is driving me crazy. I did 22 minutes this time and wanted to go longer, but I know breaking in is best.
It is almost time for me to go to sleep. Man I have to get on a schedule before going back to work. I just feel so great. The journaling and assignments in my book are really giving me insight. The main thing is that I am learning very quickly how happy I am. I knew I was very happy. However, I did not realize the full extent with all areas of my life. So far, I highly recommend the book. The assignments take some time and thinking, but once complete, it makes me feel like I know myself a bit better.
Now to change the subject before I sound like I am trying to convert you to the self help world.
My Sweetie's newest craze is NeoPets. Yes, it is for kids. But we have a kid, doesn't that count? OK probably not, but it is quite addictive. It is neat to have something you have to care for, feed, and keep alive. HAHAHA not like we have anything else like that in our life right now. Speaking of which, JuneBug is sleeping good. She should be waking soon for a feeding.
I am simply so happy.
It is almost time for me to go to sleep. Man I have to get on a schedule before going back to work. I just feel so great. The journaling and assignments in my book are really giving me insight. The main thing is that I am learning very quickly how happy I am. I knew I was very happy. However, I did not realize the full extent with all areas of my life. So far, I highly recommend the book. The assignments take some time and thinking, but once complete, it makes me feel like I know myself a bit better.
Now to change the subject before I sound like I am trying to convert you to the self help world.
My Sweetie's newest craze is NeoPets. Yes, it is for kids. But we have a kid, doesn't that count? OK probably not, but it is quite addictive. It is neat to have something you have to care for, feed, and keep alive. HAHAHA not like we have anything else like that in our life right now. Speaking of which, JuneBug is sleeping good. She should be waking soon for a feeding.
I am simply so happy.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Self improvement, pumping decision, and family weekend
As I write this I have an angel on my chest. This is not out of the norm, but I felt I should mention it - as it makes me so happy.
Today my Sweetie is working on preparing his portfolio to find work. He keeps coming out of the computer room to kiss me and JuneBug.
Wow I have not written in a few days.
This past weekend was good. Friday night was dinner with Mom, Brother, and my little family. It was some good food. Saturday was MIL's b-day celebration. We packed JuneBug up and went to MIL's house. JuneBug did good and had a good combination of sleep and awake. Of course, everyone gave her the attention that she deserves. That night my Sweetie and I watched the Sarah McLachlan concert on DVD. It was a year since we saw her in person. Sunday Mom and I went out for a girls' outing. I got my hair cut, well trimmed and not cut. I had not cut my hair since becoming pregnant and it was time. Mostly I wanted it looking nice when I dye it next week.
I also worked out on Sunday. A little upper body weight training session. It felt great. I am really getting back into everything. I have to, after all Carnaval is not far away. DarkDiva is planning a wonderful costume for me.
I made the decision to quit pumping. Friday I went to pump and JuneBug was calm and happy. The minute I started the pump she started crying. My Sweetie took her to another room, out of earshot, and she calmed down. That was all I needed for my decision. I pumped Saturday morning and evening to relieve pressure and have not since. I must say it is wonderful. I have my body back. I am not living in 3 hour increments. I feel I am enjoying my daughter more. That is all that matters. Plus I have always loved that my Sweetie can help with the feedings. As of this morning, I was still leaking some, but have not been engorged or had any pain since Saturday. And I am happy to say that I am not feeling guilty about the decision. I feel very relieved. With pumping I was constantly reminded that I was not making enough. Now I can focus on all the more important things in life.
I cannot wait for Sweetie's party. I still have to finish his present. This weekend I actually made more work for myself - not in bad way, but Serif's gift also requires some work. Sweetie and I are also pretty close to deciding on tattoos. I cannot wait.
I am big on improving one's self. I have several "self help" type books. I decided to work on myself before I have to start studying for the CPA. The book I am working with is called "Change Your Life in 30 Days". Last night I finished day three. I think it is really helping. Day one is about being true to yourself, day two discusses acknowledging yourself, and day three is about confidence.
I am feeling good, no, I am feeling great. I can tell such a difference in myself from last year. I just have to smile. My life is good. Yes, things are a little more stressful with Sweetie out of work. However, I am not reacting the way I have in the past with a situation like this. I love being able to see personal growth. Of course there is no end to personal growth, hence the reason why I am working through this book now. I will keep everyone updated on my progress.
Today my Sweetie is working on preparing his portfolio to find work. He keeps coming out of the computer room to kiss me and JuneBug.
Wow I have not written in a few days.
This past weekend was good. Friday night was dinner with Mom, Brother, and my little family. It was some good food. Saturday was MIL's b-day celebration. We packed JuneBug up and went to MIL's house. JuneBug did good and had a good combination of sleep and awake. Of course, everyone gave her the attention that she deserves. That night my Sweetie and I watched the Sarah McLachlan concert on DVD. It was a year since we saw her in person. Sunday Mom and I went out for a girls' outing. I got my hair cut, well trimmed and not cut. I had not cut my hair since becoming pregnant and it was time. Mostly I wanted it looking nice when I dye it next week.
I also worked out on Sunday. A little upper body weight training session. It felt great. I am really getting back into everything. I have to, after all Carnaval is not far away. DarkDiva is planning a wonderful costume for me.
I made the decision to quit pumping. Friday I went to pump and JuneBug was calm and happy. The minute I started the pump she started crying. My Sweetie took her to another room, out of earshot, and she calmed down. That was all I needed for my decision. I pumped Saturday morning and evening to relieve pressure and have not since. I must say it is wonderful. I have my body back. I am not living in 3 hour increments. I feel I am enjoying my daughter more. That is all that matters. Plus I have always loved that my Sweetie can help with the feedings. As of this morning, I was still leaking some, but have not been engorged or had any pain since Saturday. And I am happy to say that I am not feeling guilty about the decision. I feel very relieved. With pumping I was constantly reminded that I was not making enough. Now I can focus on all the more important things in life.
I cannot wait for Sweetie's party. I still have to finish his present. This weekend I actually made more work for myself - not in bad way, but Serif's gift also requires some work. Sweetie and I are also pretty close to deciding on tattoos. I cannot wait.
I am big on improving one's self. I have several "self help" type books. I decided to work on myself before I have to start studying for the CPA. The book I am working with is called "Change Your Life in 30 Days". Last night I finished day three. I think it is really helping. Day one is about being true to yourself, day two discusses acknowledging yourself, and day three is about confidence.
I am feeling good, no, I am feeling great. I can tell such a difference in myself from last year. I just have to smile. My life is good. Yes, things are a little more stressful with Sweetie out of work. However, I am not reacting the way I have in the past with a situation like this. I love being able to see personal growth. Of course there is no end to personal growth, hence the reason why I am working through this book now. I will keep everyone updated on my progress.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Short check in
I forgot to mention that as of late Wednesday night, I am wearing my wedding band again. WOOO HOOO.
Today I sent the e-mail for my Sweetie's 30th birthday. I hope everyone can make it. He is going to have quite a celebration: rock climbing, video games, tattoos, and adult beverages. Not to mention some sweet kisses from a young thing - my Junebug that is.
I have to sneak out of the house this next week to finish my Sweetie’s present. Hey since he is not reading my blog regularly maybe I should just say what I got him. Uuuuummmmm nope, not taking the chance.
I am in such a good mood today. I walked this morning and it felt great again.
This weekend we shall celebrate MILs birthday and try to find some romantic moments for ourselves.
Today I sent the e-mail for my Sweetie's 30th birthday. I hope everyone can make it. He is going to have quite a celebration: rock climbing, video games, tattoos, and adult beverages. Not to mention some sweet kisses from a young thing - my Junebug that is.
I have to sneak out of the house this next week to finish my Sweetie’s present. Hey since he is not reading my blog regularly maybe I should just say what I got him. Uuuuummmmm nope, not taking the chance.
I am in such a good mood today. I walked this morning and it felt great again.
This weekend we shall celebrate MILs birthday and try to find some romantic moments for ourselves.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Wildflower Center and Pumping Issues
Today was MIL’s b-day. I saw that the Wildflower Center had a special on frogs. So the family packed up (SIL, SIL’s boyfriend, Niece, MIL, Grandpa, Mom, Sweetie, JuneBug, and myself) and made the trek this evening.
It was exactly what my Sweetie and I expected. I cannot wait to go back. We are going to go back when the butterflies are the most abundant. I love that he and I share a love for places like this. I love that we know each other so well.
Having my Sweetie home has shown him a bit of what my life has been like for the last month. Weekends are different from weekdays. Today he got to experience the issues that I have had with pumping. He was playing his game, no a problem at all, but he got to see JuneBug get frustrated that the pump started going and then he got to see me try to console her in my lap while pumping. After witnessing the added frustration that this causes, none directly towards JuneBug – as I understand she does not understand, but in the process altogether, he suggested that it might be time to call it quits. Mom arrived after work to ride to the Wildflower center with us. She could see the frustration in my eyes and she suggested the same thing.
Now the only person I need to come to terms with is myself. I hate this. I am a great mom. I know it. Why should I let something like this make me feel like a failure? I grew up on formula and as BestFriend would say (Who was also formula) that I have a great big brain, so obviously there is nothing wrong with it. But I do feel like a failure. I knew from the beginning that I might have problems with breastfeeding; it is in my family history. But I honestly assumed that it would not be hard for me. Now it seems all I am doing is sitting and thinking that I should be pumping. And the 15 minutes is getting longer and longer. I think it is because JuneBug is awake more lately. My Sweetie is so wonderful and supportive. Bottom line is that he wants me happy.
So I have to get over this failure. My mom felt like a failure. I was able to give more breast milk to JuneBug than I received. This is a good thing. I need to focus on that. However, I feel like I “should” be able to pump what is needed. But to be honest, only being able to pump 30% of what she is eating now is very discouraging. Here lies the important decision. Once I let things dry up, it is gone. I have to get over this feeling of failure. If my Sweetie has no problem with JuneBug being on formula, then that is a big sign. I am not one of those women who carry around their pump all day long and 8 times a day stop their lives to sit and pump for 15 minutes. I just cannot seem to do that.
No decision is made yet. I have to think some more. Alas, I am going to go and pump while researching butterfly tattoos.
It was exactly what my Sweetie and I expected. I cannot wait to go back. We are going to go back when the butterflies are the most abundant. I love that he and I share a love for places like this. I love that we know each other so well.
Having my Sweetie home has shown him a bit of what my life has been like for the last month. Weekends are different from weekdays. Today he got to experience the issues that I have had with pumping. He was playing his game, no a problem at all, but he got to see JuneBug get frustrated that the pump started going and then he got to see me try to console her in my lap while pumping. After witnessing the added frustration that this causes, none directly towards JuneBug – as I understand she does not understand, but in the process altogether, he suggested that it might be time to call it quits. Mom arrived after work to ride to the Wildflower center with us. She could see the frustration in my eyes and she suggested the same thing.
Now the only person I need to come to terms with is myself. I hate this. I am a great mom. I know it. Why should I let something like this make me feel like a failure? I grew up on formula and as BestFriend would say (Who was also formula) that I have a great big brain, so obviously there is nothing wrong with it. But I do feel like a failure. I knew from the beginning that I might have problems with breastfeeding; it is in my family history. But I honestly assumed that it would not be hard for me. Now it seems all I am doing is sitting and thinking that I should be pumping. And the 15 minutes is getting longer and longer. I think it is because JuneBug is awake more lately. My Sweetie is so wonderful and supportive. Bottom line is that he wants me happy.
So I have to get over this failure. My mom felt like a failure. I was able to give more breast milk to JuneBug than I received. This is a good thing. I need to focus on that. However, I feel like I “should” be able to pump what is needed. But to be honest, only being able to pump 30% of what she is eating now is very discouraging. Here lies the important decision. Once I let things dry up, it is gone. I have to get over this feeling of failure. If my Sweetie has no problem with JuneBug being on formula, then that is a big sign. I am not one of those women who carry around their pump all day long and 8 times a day stop their lives to sit and pump for 15 minutes. I just cannot seem to do that.
No decision is made yet. I have to think some more. Alas, I am going to go and pump while researching butterfly tattoos.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
I'm Back!
Today I started working out again. A 20 minute walk did the trick and after a shower and taking over with JuneBug so my Sweetie can start his workout, I feel great. I have not walked on my own regularly since Feb 2004 when I completed the Motorola Half Marathon.
A little history. I started walking during highschool (along with riding my bike) and in college. I would walk sporadically until 2003. My Sweetie has always been supportive with my walking. When I joined Team in Training in August 2003, he knew I would be successful. He even walked with me during some of my weekday walks. Unfortunately, my walking did not continue after the half. This is not uncommon with long distance events. You train hard for an event and once it is over you find yourself a little lost. Between the half and now I only walked a few times. I wanted to walk more during my pregnancy, but with the horrible tendon pain, it was not an option.
When I walk with my Sweetie or by myself, is very different. I love walking with my Sweetie. We talk a lot when we walk and even have in depth conversations. We really bond during these walks. When I walk alone, it is very similar. I use the walking as therapy.
I started tonight for a few reasons. I received my 6 week clearance for being normal again (although I still need to bring up the whole perfect issue next appointment, LOL). I also want to start my exercising so I can get off antidepressants. But also I want to help my weight loss. I have not walked consistently since finding out about my thyroid - hence why I did not lose weight during marathon training. I am down 21 from my pre-pregnancy weight, my highest. I am only 19 from my first goal, my weight when my thyroid broke. I know that my thyroid is corrected through medication. I also know that I have to exercise to reach my first goal - medication cannot do it all.
So, I told my Sweetie that I am ready to start exercising again. He is so supportive and said that he wanted to watch JuneBug for me while I went walking. I walked for 20 minutes. I know it is a far cry from my 5.5 hour walking from before. However, one of the biggest issues with my marathon training was that I did not have an appropriate base to start training. So I was always trying to catch up. Since I want an appropriate base as well as to ease into exercise due to my surgery and lack of consistent exercise, I am starting slowly.
It felt GREAT. I kept a good pace and made sure to feel it, in spite of the short time. I decided while I was walking that my marathon for 2005 (I walked the Motive half in 2003, the Motorola half in 2004) will have to be having my JuneBug. I am going to focus on consistency, speed, and form until I finish testing for the CPA. The truth is that training for a marathon, even a half, is a time commitment. Studying for the CPA is a time commitment. Since I have my Sweetie and JuneBug who I want to spend time with, I only want one time commitment at a time. I should have a great base for the time that I am ready to begin training again.
I feel so confident. Today was a really good day. JuneBug and I hung out with my Sweetie. We helped him expunge the bad from UT. I am not sure what exactly made me feel so good today. I have only been on my meds for three days, so it should not be that, but who knows. I just feel so wonderful and sexy. While we were out today I even bought some hair color for my Sweetie’s birthday. I cannot wait to get inked and celebrate his birthday. Now the only question is what we are going to get. The idea right now is that we are going to get similar tats. I have to be careful. It seems every time I go into a tattoo parlor I get a piercing.
Now I must research tats.
A little history. I started walking during highschool (along with riding my bike) and in college. I would walk sporadically until 2003. My Sweetie has always been supportive with my walking. When I joined Team in Training in August 2003, he knew I would be successful. He even walked with me during some of my weekday walks. Unfortunately, my walking did not continue after the half. This is not uncommon with long distance events. You train hard for an event and once it is over you find yourself a little lost. Between the half and now I only walked a few times. I wanted to walk more during my pregnancy, but with the horrible tendon pain, it was not an option.
When I walk with my Sweetie or by myself, is very different. I love walking with my Sweetie. We talk a lot when we walk and even have in depth conversations. We really bond during these walks. When I walk alone, it is very similar. I use the walking as therapy.
I started tonight for a few reasons. I received my 6 week clearance for being normal again (although I still need to bring up the whole perfect issue next appointment, LOL). I also want to start my exercising so I can get off antidepressants. But also I want to help my weight loss. I have not walked consistently since finding out about my thyroid - hence why I did not lose weight during marathon training. I am down 21 from my pre-pregnancy weight, my highest. I am only 19 from my first goal, my weight when my thyroid broke. I know that my thyroid is corrected through medication. I also know that I have to exercise to reach my first goal - medication cannot do it all.
So, I told my Sweetie that I am ready to start exercising again. He is so supportive and said that he wanted to watch JuneBug for me while I went walking. I walked for 20 minutes. I know it is a far cry from my 5.5 hour walking from before. However, one of the biggest issues with my marathon training was that I did not have an appropriate base to start training. So I was always trying to catch up. Since I want an appropriate base as well as to ease into exercise due to my surgery and lack of consistent exercise, I am starting slowly.
It felt GREAT. I kept a good pace and made sure to feel it, in spite of the short time. I decided while I was walking that my marathon for 2005 (I walked the Motive half in 2003, the Motorola half in 2004) will have to be having my JuneBug. I am going to focus on consistency, speed, and form until I finish testing for the CPA. The truth is that training for a marathon, even a half, is a time commitment. Studying for the CPA is a time commitment. Since I have my Sweetie and JuneBug who I want to spend time with, I only want one time commitment at a time. I should have a great base for the time that I am ready to begin training again.
I feel so confident. Today was a really good day. JuneBug and I hung out with my Sweetie. We helped him expunge the bad from UT. I am not sure what exactly made me feel so good today. I have only been on my meds for three days, so it should not be that, but who knows. I just feel so wonderful and sexy. While we were out today I even bought some hair color for my Sweetie’s birthday. I cannot wait to get inked and celebrate his birthday. Now the only question is what we are going to get. The idea right now is that we are going to get similar tats. I have to be careful. It seems every time I go into a tattoo parlor I get a piercing.
Now I must research tats.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
UT System No More
Yesterday proved to be more interesting than anticipated. At 4:40 my Sweetie imed me saying that he was just let go. Long story short, his boss was out to get him. I know a lot of people say that, but in this case it is true. He was busting his ass for her lately and received no acknowledgement. He even worked late most days last week and went in on Sunday.
The good news is that we are doing great. We are not freaked or concerned about the whole event. We know things will work out, they always do. And luckily we have a good amount in savings so we are covered for a little while.
The main thing is that she cannot make him unhappy anymore. I am happy that his choice to leave was made for him. Now he can find the kind of job he wants. No matter what, I am here for him.
Last night we went to BestFriend’s house and she helped him compose a letter of rebuttal for the managers he worked with. She is such a great friend. Right now he is there giving his official resignation. Tonight I will take him to dinner to celebrate. No longer will he have to work with that awful manager.
Regardless of the actions of yesterday, my Sweetie has agreed to get a tattoo for his birthday. YAY.
The good news is that we are doing great. We are not freaked or concerned about the whole event. We know things will work out, they always do. And luckily we have a good amount in savings so we are covered for a little while.
The main thing is that she cannot make him unhappy anymore. I am happy that his choice to leave was made for him. Now he can find the kind of job he wants. No matter what, I am here for him.
Last night we went to BestFriend’s house and she helped him compose a letter of rebuttal for the managers he worked with. She is such a great friend. Right now he is there giving his official resignation. Tonight I will take him to dinner to celebrate. No longer will he have to work with that awful manager.
Regardless of the actions of yesterday, my Sweetie has agreed to get a tattoo for his birthday. YAY.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Appointment and the need for ink
Today was my 6-week postpartum appointment. Can you believe it? My appointment was at 7:45 this morning. The idea was that my Sweetie would go with me to help with Serif. Unfortunately, he had an early meeting and could not make the appointment. Mom came by this morning and saved the day. Since the appointment was early, she was able to go into work late. This is easier for her than taking off during the day. My JuneBug was a little cranky so they stayed at the house while I went to the appointment on my own. It was the first time for me to go to the office alone. My Sweetie has always been with me. The nurses and doctor said I look great. I am down a few more pounds, but I knew that due to my home scale. Overall, I am down 21 from my pre-pregnancy weight. The nurse looked at my incision and could not believe how good it looks, she said it did not look new at all. The doctor came in and also looked at my incision and said he was so happy. He declared me normal again. I laughed and said “that is only true if I was ever normal”. I forgot to ask if this meant I am no longer perfect, lol.
The doctor sat down in front of me, he is a very hands on doctor, and asked how I am doing and if I have any questions. I told him that I am suffering from some depression. He said “ok”. He gave me a hug and told me how proud he was for me to tell him something hard like that. He said it is the most under-diagnosed problem. He said that he believes that Tom Cruise’s comments (stupid son of a bitch comments if you ask me, but I am hormonal) actually did more good then Tom ever expected because with everyone reacting and so mad at him it caused much discussion. I know on my expecting board (even though now we all have had our babies) there are so many women saying “hey me too.” I told him that in no way are my feelings going towards my JuneBug. He told me that is important to know. He gave me another couple of hugs and a prescription. I go back in two months. My goal is to try and get off the meds then, we shall see.
I am proud of myself. I hate the meds but I think I need them until I get an established exercise routine and begin journaling. Now that I had my 6-week check up I can start exercising without my Sweetie worrying so much. I am feeling so good today. I feel in control.
I go back to the doctor on September 20th. That is going to be a hard day. My plan is to call in sick that day, go to my appointment, and spend the day with my mom shopping. For those who do not remember, this day marks 8 years since losing my dad. Hard to believe we are only two months away from this point. Two months from today marks when my Sweetie and I created life. We are going to celebrate that whole weekend. Days that good, life altering days like that wonderful Saturday, must be celebrated.
Today I was out with my JuneBug, running errands and doing reseach got my Sweetie’s 30th b-day present. I stopped for lunch at Wendy’s and there was a butterfly where you place your order. This made me want my butterfly tattoo so badly. Now that I am not pregnant I can go ahead with it. I want a butterfly. Still trying to decide if I want the small yellow one or the big one on my lower back. My Sweetie likes the idea of both, especially the lower back. For those who do not know, he is a butt man. I am going to see what my Sweetie can do design wise for my tattoo. He has never designed a tattoo before, but I feel confident that he will come through with flying colors. Now I must get some ink on him.
The doctor sat down in front of me, he is a very hands on doctor, and asked how I am doing and if I have any questions. I told him that I am suffering from some depression. He said “ok”. He gave me a hug and told me how proud he was for me to tell him something hard like that. He said it is the most under-diagnosed problem. He said that he believes that Tom Cruise’s comments (stupid son of a bitch comments if you ask me, but I am hormonal) actually did more good then Tom ever expected because with everyone reacting and so mad at him it caused much discussion. I know on my expecting board (even though now we all have had our babies) there are so many women saying “hey me too.” I told him that in no way are my feelings going towards my JuneBug. He told me that is important to know. He gave me another couple of hugs and a prescription. I go back in two months. My goal is to try and get off the meds then, we shall see.
I am proud of myself. I hate the meds but I think I need them until I get an established exercise routine and begin journaling. Now that I had my 6-week check up I can start exercising without my Sweetie worrying so much. I am feeling so good today. I feel in control.
I go back to the doctor on September 20th. That is going to be a hard day. My plan is to call in sick that day, go to my appointment, and spend the day with my mom shopping. For those who do not remember, this day marks 8 years since losing my dad. Hard to believe we are only two months away from this point. Two months from today marks when my Sweetie and I created life. We are going to celebrate that whole weekend. Days that good, life altering days like that wonderful Saturday, must be celebrated.
Today I was out with my JuneBug, running errands and doing reseach got my Sweetie’s 30th b-day present. I stopped for lunch at Wendy’s and there was a butterfly where you place your order. This made me want my butterfly tattoo so badly. Now that I am not pregnant I can go ahead with it. I want a butterfly. Still trying to decide if I want the small yellow one or the big one on my lower back. My Sweetie likes the idea of both, especially the lower back. For those who do not know, he is a butt man. I am going to see what my Sweetie can do design wise for my tattoo. He has never designed a tattoo before, but I feel confident that he will come through with flying colors. Now I must get some ink on him.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
I have a question
In life, there are few moments that require extreme consideration, planning, and ending with a big question. It seems as life progresses these moments become less and less. For example; being asked to go steady with a cute boy at 15, the big question of a marriage proposal at 20, and asking to have a baby at 27. These are the questions that I have been asked. However, there are questions I have to ask, questions that I have to consider deeply, questions that provide moments of anticipation as to the answer that will be provided.
Today provided one of these rare, but highly important occasions. After months of waiting for the day to arrive, we finally had our optimal moment. Best Friend and her husband came to spend the day with us. We had the best time with an early dinner and the girls and boys splitting up (other than JuneBug who went with the boys) and did some shopping. We met back at the house to enjoy some company and to watch a movie. This was the moment. It finally arrived. While my Sweetie could not wait 5 minutes longer, the only harm was that I was pumping at the time. However, it was still perfect. After asking James to come into the living room, he was in the dining room, my Sweetie decided to use an otter stuffy to do his biding. The stuffy asked one if the biggest questions for our JuneBug. We asked the Kerseys to be the Godparents to our first born. The best part was that they said YES. We are so happy. It is a wonderful feeling to know that these important roles are filled. Now all we have to do is the morbid part, the will.
I am very sentimental these days, so be prepared with my posts. Today is no exception. I am so grateful to have such wonderful friends. I know that I had to have horrible and backstabbing best friends in order to appreciate the best friend that I have now. I will be forever grateful of the person that BestFriend has helped me to become. My confidence is higher because of her, as well as my knowledge of strange and random items of humor.
Today was a wonderful day. Our family is even more complete and real.
Today provided one of these rare, but highly important occasions. After months of waiting for the day to arrive, we finally had our optimal moment. Best Friend and her husband came to spend the day with us. We had the best time with an early dinner and the girls and boys splitting up (other than JuneBug who went with the boys) and did some shopping. We met back at the house to enjoy some company and to watch a movie. This was the moment. It finally arrived. While my Sweetie could not wait 5 minutes longer, the only harm was that I was pumping at the time. However, it was still perfect. After asking James to come into the living room, he was in the dining room, my Sweetie decided to use an otter stuffy to do his biding. The stuffy asked one if the biggest questions for our JuneBug. We asked the Kerseys to be the Godparents to our first born. The best part was that they said YES. We are so happy. It is a wonderful feeling to know that these important roles are filled. Now all we have to do is the morbid part, the will.
I am very sentimental these days, so be prepared with my posts. Today is no exception. I am so grateful to have such wonderful friends. I know that I had to have horrible and backstabbing best friends in order to appreciate the best friend that I have now. I will be forever grateful of the person that BestFriend has helped me to become. My confidence is higher because of her, as well as my knowledge of strange and random items of humor.
Today was a wonderful day. Our family is even more complete and real.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Will she return to the scene of the crime and repeat?
I try to be a positive person. But the truth is that I have been experiencing some depression. Luckily, my Sweetie is so supportive and wants to make it all better. Last night and this morning were rough. I am lucky that my depression has never been the kind that makes me want to harm myself or others. I have done research and discovered that I do not have postpartum depression – that is a relief. I just have my normal chemical issues.
Well the best thing for depression, for me at least was a perfect little girl peeing all over her receiving blanket and carpet while I was changing her diaper. It was my fault, I didn’t have the new diaper under her in time. The funny thing is that she did not have a wet diaper when we went in but I wasn’t sure. I had the old diaper and new diaper next to each other, the reason why the new one wasn’t under her, and comparing. I was still looking at the diaper when I said “you didn’t pee”. When I looked up at her, she peed. Yes, she smiled the whole time.
Another thing that brought me out of my funk was reading past love notes from my sweetie. He loves me so much. I am so lucky to have him.
Speaking of him. Next month is his 30th b-day. I will invite everyone once we nail down what he really wants to do. However, that isn’t what made my day. The big present, part of at least, for my Sweetie for his 30th b-day, planned ahead for months and months, came today. WOOHOO. I have much relief.
I want this b-day to be perfect for him. Things are so different than last year. This year we are a family, we are happier than ever, and we are stronger than ever. Not to mention 30 isn’t just any b-day. This involves thinking, planning, and much attention.
I love him so much and this is a chance to show him.
Well the best thing for depression, for me at least was a perfect little girl peeing all over her receiving blanket and carpet while I was changing her diaper. It was my fault, I didn’t have the new diaper under her in time. The funny thing is that she did not have a wet diaper when we went in but I wasn’t sure. I had the old diaper and new diaper next to each other, the reason why the new one wasn’t under her, and comparing. I was still looking at the diaper when I said “you didn’t pee”. When I looked up at her, she peed. Yes, she smiled the whole time.
Another thing that brought me out of my funk was reading past love notes from my sweetie. He loves me so much. I am so lucky to have him.
Speaking of him. Next month is his 30th b-day. I will invite everyone once we nail down what he really wants to do. However, that isn’t what made my day. The big present, part of at least, for my Sweetie for his 30th b-day, planned ahead for months and months, came today. WOOHOO. I have much relief.
I want this b-day to be perfect for him. Things are so different than last year. This year we are a family, we are happier than ever, and we are stronger than ever. Not to mention 30 isn’t just any b-day. This involves thinking, planning, and much attention.
I love him so much and this is a chance to show him.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Feeling Good
Today my JuneBug was a little grumpy so we opted out of the lunch with co-workers. Instead, we met with my Sweetie for lunch. We had a great time while JuneBug slept. After our lunch we made a trek to my school.
The goal – to pick up my diploma.
I had several women stop and admire my angel. They commented on how beautiful she is. When I reached the appropriate floor the woman that I was speaking with on the elevator asked if I was there to get my diploma. When I said yes, she said that I had that look.
When the guy at the desk asked if my diploma looked correct, I almost started crying. It is the most beautiful piece of paper ever. After our successful journey JuneBug and I headed home for a much needed nap. She is my favorite napping buddy now – shhhh don’t tell my Sweetie.
I am so proud of myself. Now I have to find a frame. I am hanging this diploma.
The goal – to pick up my diploma.
I had several women stop and admire my angel. They commented on how beautiful she is. When I reached the appropriate floor the woman that I was speaking with on the elevator asked if I was there to get my diploma. When I said yes, she said that I had that look.
When the guy at the desk asked if my diploma looked correct, I almost started crying. It is the most beautiful piece of paper ever. After our successful journey JuneBug and I headed home for a much needed nap. She is my favorite napping buddy now – shhhh don’t tell my Sweetie.
I am so proud of myself. Now I have to find a frame. I am hanging this diploma.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
This is not my beautiful house
Ever have one of those days? The kind where you wake up and cannot believe your life is yours?
That is what happened to me today. I woke up to my family and was overtaken by how much I love these two people. Aftter my Sweetie left for work my JuneBug and I then settled on the couch to go back to sleep. We slept for four hours with the only break as a short feeding. When we decided we had enough sleep –this was mutual – we started our day. While we were still lying on the couch I looked at my angel. I cannot believe she is mine. I cannot believe such a perfect little person came from me. She is wonderful. Even when she cries I know she is perfect. I don’t know what my Sweetie and I did to deserve such a wonderful and beautiful baby. Apparently we did something right.
I watch her in her swing. She is happy. I cannot imagine my life without her. I love her so much. I love my Sweetie so much.
I just cannot believe that this is my wonderful life. It is times like this where I have complete faith.
That is what happened to me today. I woke up to my family and was overtaken by how much I love these two people. Aftter my Sweetie left for work my JuneBug and I then settled on the couch to go back to sleep. We slept for four hours with the only break as a short feeding. When we decided we had enough sleep –this was mutual – we started our day. While we were still lying on the couch I looked at my angel. I cannot believe she is mine. I cannot believe such a perfect little person came from me. She is wonderful. Even when she cries I know she is perfect. I don’t know what my Sweetie and I did to deserve such a wonderful and beautiful baby. Apparently we did something right.
I watch her in her swing. She is happy. I cannot imagine my life without her. I love her so much. I love my Sweetie so much.
I just cannot believe that this is my wonderful life. It is times like this where I have complete faith.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Today marks 5 weeks
Yesterday was a good day. JuneBug was cranky again, but still my angel. JuneBug started crying before my Sweetie left for work. He picked her up from our bed and told me that he would calm her and bring her back. He is so wonderful and adores her so much. My Sweetie had to work late again so I had my mom come by after work to relieve me so I could take a shower. That was exactly what I needed. She stayed and we chatted for a couple of hours. It was very nice.
It is not so bad when my Sweetie works late since we can IM throughout the evening. When he got home, he was in the best mood and felt very accomplished. He gave JuneBug and me wonderful attention. Before he got home, I gave her a bath and had her waiting for him in her PJs asleep. He hugged and kissed both of us so much.
Today has been another cranky day. Her nights are good, just during the day she has been crying a lot. I am determined to find what she needs – it is hard when she can’t talk yet. I hope her new swing will help during the day. I have to admit the fact that my and my Sweetie’s arms make her happy makes me happy.
The best thing that my Sweetie “said” to me today was an im that said, “How are my two perfect girls today?” That made me smile.
Our life has changed so much in 5 weeks – for obvious reasons. And I think we have adapted very well. I know of couples that put their marriage on the back burner with a new baby. I do not believe that is the case for us. We are intimate and passionate. We are a team. It makes me so happy.
We are so happy with our family. You can actually hear the happiness in my Sweetie’s voice. Of course, this was true during the pregnancy as well.
Tonight we went to target to purchase some pants for my Sweetie. We had a good time. I love to watch my Sweetie in public with our little one. He is such a good father. We have decided to start perhaps looking into purchasing a microwave. I know I am excited about the potential jump into the 20th century. The truth is that we had a microwave since 1997 when we moved in together. However, it died in late 2003 and was never replaced.
I chatted with co-workers today. JuneBug and I are planning a trip to my work on Thursday. I will be in the area due to picking up my diploma – YAY!!! Two of my favorite co-workers and I are going to lunch. I hope JuneBug is up for it.
Alas it is time for me to snuggle in with JuneBug and my Sweetie.
It is not so bad when my Sweetie works late since we can IM throughout the evening. When he got home, he was in the best mood and felt very accomplished. He gave JuneBug and me wonderful attention. Before he got home, I gave her a bath and had her waiting for him in her PJs asleep. He hugged and kissed both of us so much.
Today has been another cranky day. Her nights are good, just during the day she has been crying a lot. I am determined to find what she needs – it is hard when she can’t talk yet. I hope her new swing will help during the day. I have to admit the fact that my and my Sweetie’s arms make her happy makes me happy.
The best thing that my Sweetie “said” to me today was an im that said, “How are my two perfect girls today?” That made me smile.
Our life has changed so much in 5 weeks – for obvious reasons. And I think we have adapted very well. I know of couples that put their marriage on the back burner with a new baby. I do not believe that is the case for us. We are intimate and passionate. We are a team. It makes me so happy.
We are so happy with our family. You can actually hear the happiness in my Sweetie’s voice. Of course, this was true during the pregnancy as well.
Tonight we went to target to purchase some pants for my Sweetie. We had a good time. I love to watch my Sweetie in public with our little one. He is such a good father. We have decided to start perhaps looking into purchasing a microwave. I know I am excited about the potential jump into the 20th century. The truth is that we had a microwave since 1997 when we moved in together. However, it died in late 2003 and was never replaced.
I chatted with co-workers today. JuneBug and I are planning a trip to my work on Thursday. I will be in the area due to picking up my diploma – YAY!!! Two of my favorite co-workers and I are going to lunch. I hope JuneBug is up for it.
Alas it is time for me to snuggle in with JuneBug and my Sweetie.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Motherhood
Sunday morning:
I am the only one in my house awake. On my chest is an angel sleeping. On the couch is my husband. In the background is some smooth music. I am hungry, thirsty, and need to pump. Yet I stay where I am. This is motherhood. I had no idea what a difference pregnancy would make on me. Then I had no idea about motherhood. I make sure I eat and drink – I have to take care of myself. However, a common theme in my house now is “after….”. This means, “I will eat after Serif eats”. You can exchange “after Serif eats” for “after I pump” or “after I get her to sleep’ etc….. I am not complaining. I adore this job.
The one issue I have is regarding to my milk supply. I am very lucky to have a great support group. My mother understands. Unfortunately, at the time, the doctor told her when she did not create enough for me that supplementing (like I do) was not worth it. Luckily, things have changed and we know that any breast milk at all gives benefits. Along with my Mom is my Sweetie who told me that the feeding decision (breastfed vs. formula) is my decision. My third greatest support system is my exclusively pumping board. There are many of members who have the same situation as I do, low production and latching issues. While I know this support system is wonderful, I still have many feelings of guilt and failure regarding the feeding of my daughter. I am working on this daily. I know that I am a good mom. I know there is nothing wrong with formula – I grew up on it. I really am working on it.
My boards suggest Fenugreek to help increase supply. I am using this – but not sure if it is helping. They also suggest longer pump times – but that is hard. Stopping to pump during the weekday is hard – especially when Serif needs me to hold her. Another suggestion is oatmeal. However, it has to be real oats and not the instant kind. I bought some at the store today and will try it. I worry about the medication option. You see the makers of the medication do not endorse it for increasing breast milk supply. It is a side effect. There are many women on my board who take it and found their supply to double in some cases. We shall see. I think I will still talk to my doctor, but I would rather increase naturally if possible. However, I refuse to obsess or spend my entire day pumping.
Sunday night:
I need to start my walking. My goal is 30 minutes a day to start with. I need to do this for so many reasons. I want to get back to long distance walking. However, right now that doesn’t make much sense due to taking care of Serif and pumping. I am now 20 less than when I got pregnant. WOO HOO! I have not been this weight since 2002. My first goal is 20 more pounds. This puts me where I was before my thyroid broke. This is very doable.
Tonight I went to the grocery store after dinner to get some icecream – lite for me since I am so happy with the weight loss. My Sweetie wanted to watch an Anime and had our JuneBug on his chest. Since he has to work tomorrow, and time is limited for him on work nights, I volunteered to go to the store. This was my first outing without Serif. This was also the first time my Sweetie was left alone with her. I did so good. I was not worried at all. I even took my time and returned energized. He did wonderfully and not only took care of her but read her a story.
I am so very lucky to have such a wonderful husband. Once again, this weekend was “his time” for taking care of our little one – at his insistence. I do not mind at all. I love that he is this hands on – it also means I get to sleep a bit more on weekends.
Speaking of weekends, we had a great weekend. Friday night we picked up the pictures of our JuneBug. Saturday was my Mom’s b-day. We enjoyed a laid back day with family and friends. Today consisted of sleeping in and the grocery store. All in all it was a great weekend.
I am the only one in my house awake. On my chest is an angel sleeping. On the couch is my husband. In the background is some smooth music. I am hungry, thirsty, and need to pump. Yet I stay where I am. This is motherhood. I had no idea what a difference pregnancy would make on me. Then I had no idea about motherhood. I make sure I eat and drink – I have to take care of myself. However, a common theme in my house now is “after….”. This means, “I will eat after Serif eats”. You can exchange “after Serif eats” for “after I pump” or “after I get her to sleep’ etc….. I am not complaining. I adore this job.
The one issue I have is regarding to my milk supply. I am very lucky to have a great support group. My mother understands. Unfortunately, at the time, the doctor told her when she did not create enough for me that supplementing (like I do) was not worth it. Luckily, things have changed and we know that any breast milk at all gives benefits. Along with my Mom is my Sweetie who told me that the feeding decision (breastfed vs. formula) is my decision. My third greatest support system is my exclusively pumping board. There are many of members who have the same situation as I do, low production and latching issues. While I know this support system is wonderful, I still have many feelings of guilt and failure regarding the feeding of my daughter. I am working on this daily. I know that I am a good mom. I know there is nothing wrong with formula – I grew up on it. I really am working on it.
My boards suggest Fenugreek to help increase supply. I am using this – but not sure if it is helping. They also suggest longer pump times – but that is hard. Stopping to pump during the weekday is hard – especially when Serif needs me to hold her. Another suggestion is oatmeal. However, it has to be real oats and not the instant kind. I bought some at the store today and will try it. I worry about the medication option. You see the makers of the medication do not endorse it for increasing breast milk supply. It is a side effect. There are many women on my board who take it and found their supply to double in some cases. We shall see. I think I will still talk to my doctor, but I would rather increase naturally if possible. However, I refuse to obsess or spend my entire day pumping.
Sunday night:
I need to start my walking. My goal is 30 minutes a day to start with. I need to do this for so many reasons. I want to get back to long distance walking. However, right now that doesn’t make much sense due to taking care of Serif and pumping. I am now 20 less than when I got pregnant. WOO HOO! I have not been this weight since 2002. My first goal is 20 more pounds. This puts me where I was before my thyroid broke. This is very doable.
Tonight I went to the grocery store after dinner to get some icecream – lite for me since I am so happy with the weight loss. My Sweetie wanted to watch an Anime and had our JuneBug on his chest. Since he has to work tomorrow, and time is limited for him on work nights, I volunteered to go to the store. This was my first outing without Serif. This was also the first time my Sweetie was left alone with her. I did so good. I was not worried at all. I even took my time and returned energized. He did wonderfully and not only took care of her but read her a story.
I am so very lucky to have such a wonderful husband. Once again, this weekend was “his time” for taking care of our little one – at his insistence. I do not mind at all. I love that he is this hands on – it also means I get to sleep a bit more on weekends.
Speaking of weekends, we had a great weekend. Friday night we picked up the pictures of our JuneBug. Saturday was my Mom’s b-day. We enjoyed a laid back day with family and friends. Today consisted of sleeping in and the grocery store. All in all it was a great weekend.
Friday, July 08, 2005
One Month and Ego Boosts
Happy One Month Miss Serif Bug. Today has been very eventful. After sleeping in, my JuneBug and I got all pretty and headed to the mall. I knew I wanted photos taken of her today. We lucked out and got an appointment only 45 minutes after we arrived. That is good considering I simply did a walk-in. Due to some of the poses having me in them, and me not planning for this, I went and bought a shirt during our wait. The funny thing is that they used a drape for me so it was not needed. We got about 6 different poses. Serif was cranky throughout the experience. However, the photographer was very patient. Of course, she calmed down as soon as the shoot was complete. The proofs were ready by 4:00 but I wanted my Sweetie to pick the ones he likes so we will go tomorrow night for our final decisions.
Then enters Frap-boy. As Serif and I were leaving the mall, a guy was walking around with frapachino samples. He walked out of his way to come to Serif and I, and did not offer us a sample as I was drinking a diet coke. However, he lingered after I was bent over tending to Serif. You see, the shirt I bought shows off my uhm.., well, Serif’s food producers very well. I did not realize this until after our conversation. He watched as I tended to Serif and then came even closer and proceeded to tell me how much he loves babies and asking me her age and such. He was totally hitting on me. It was great. I wonder what else he would have said if I wasn’t wearing my new ring – heehee. Now I know if I need an ego boost and a caffeine fix where I should go. I wonder if he works Fridays grin.
My ego was sky high. When I got home my bug decided to take a nap and I wanted to check e-mail and such. I use IM a lot at work and have my co-workers on my contact list. The co-worker who would like to be my boyfriend came on and chatted with me. Nothing bad discussed – remember it is work and I did have a baby in my lap. He asked about my girl and made a couple of compliment comments to let me know he is still interested. This should not shock me as he continued to flirt while I was pregnant. Nothing will ever happen with him – for so many reasons and I am honest with him about this. However, he is a nice guy and I don’t mind a compliment here and there. I told him that he has been replaced by Frap-boy. He did not approve.
Our evening was pretty uneventful due to my Sweetie working late. However, we did chat on-line and on the phone throughout the evening. I love seeing “UT System” on caller ID.
Then came the night. At 10:00, I sent an IM to my Sweetie asking if he ever had dinner. He is bad about working late and not eating. He said he was starving so I packed up my computer and my baby and we headed to Sweetie’s work to bring him dinner. Serif is sleeping in a chair next to me while my Sweetie works across the desk from me. I hope I am not distracting him. I am in a good mood. I don’t mind the time – I can sleep whenever Serif sleeps tomorrow.
My angel is so beautiful. I know everyone is tired of hearing this, but it is true. I am amazed by her daily. I cannot believe how much I love her. I cannot believe how great it is to be a mom.
This is getting long. I will end this. If I have more to say, I will start a new post.
Then enters Frap-boy. As Serif and I were leaving the mall, a guy was walking around with frapachino samples. He walked out of his way to come to Serif and I, and did not offer us a sample as I was drinking a diet coke. However, he lingered after I was bent over tending to Serif. You see, the shirt I bought shows off my uhm.., well, Serif’s food producers very well. I did not realize this until after our conversation. He watched as I tended to Serif and then came even closer and proceeded to tell me how much he loves babies and asking me her age and such. He was totally hitting on me. It was great. I wonder what else he would have said if I wasn’t wearing my new ring – heehee. Now I know if I need an ego boost and a caffeine fix where I should go. I wonder if he works Fridays grin.
My ego was sky high. When I got home my bug decided to take a nap and I wanted to check e-mail and such. I use IM a lot at work and have my co-workers on my contact list. The co-worker who would like to be my boyfriend came on and chatted with me. Nothing bad discussed – remember it is work and I did have a baby in my lap. He asked about my girl and made a couple of compliment comments to let me know he is still interested. This should not shock me as he continued to flirt while I was pregnant. Nothing will ever happen with him – for so many reasons and I am honest with him about this. However, he is a nice guy and I don’t mind a compliment here and there. I told him that he has been replaced by Frap-boy. He did not approve.
Our evening was pretty uneventful due to my Sweetie working late. However, we did chat on-line and on the phone throughout the evening. I love seeing “UT System” on caller ID.
Then came the night. At 10:00, I sent an IM to my Sweetie asking if he ever had dinner. He is bad about working late and not eating. He said he was starving so I packed up my computer and my baby and we headed to Sweetie’s work to bring him dinner. Serif is sleeping in a chair next to me while my Sweetie works across the desk from me. I hope I am not distracting him. I am in a good mood. I don’t mind the time – I can sleep whenever Serif sleeps tomorrow.
My angel is so beautiful. I know everyone is tired of hearing this, but it is true. I am amazed by her daily. I cannot believe how much I love her. I cannot believe how great it is to be a mom.
This is getting long. I will end this. If I have more to say, I will start a new post.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Random Thoughts
Today I am just going to do some free writing, meaning that I am going to write what comes to mind regardless of if it makes sense. This is a tool for self discovery as well as therapy.
As I type this, my JuneBug is lying on my lap wide awake. She has the most beautiful eyes. It is amazing to have a daughter. So much is different from last year. I am so happy.
I have not started exercising yet. I hope to this week. Of course, my clearance only came yesterday. It is hard during the day. Serif takes so much of my time with feedings and pumping. She was doing good with the shield. However, she still was not getting enough food. Then she got smart and decided to not use the shield. We shall keep trying. At least she is still getting my milk. I think I will talk to my doctor at my 6-week appointment about increasing my supply using medicine. She is so beautiful, so perfect. Now she naps.
My maternity leave is 1/3 of the way complete. I cannot believe it. Tomorrow is my co-worker’s b-day. I may go to the company lunch with Serif. It would be a nice way to introduce her to everyone. Tomorrow is also her one month b-day. I want to get professional photos done. I hope I can get in.
Last night I spent the evening working on work. I don’t mind, it means that I am needed. We also watched Magnolia. That was one strange and long movie. Not our kind of movie at all. It wasn’t even the content that was the issue, it was the delivery.
I realize that I did not write about the 4th of July. We had a great day. The day consisted of Mom, MIL, Grandpa, SIL (husband’s sister), niece, SIL’s boyfriend, Brother, SIL (brother’s wife), and my little family. We enjoyed BBQ and many many fireworks. My Sweetie is such a pyromaniac. Some don’t know this. His two favorite holidays are the 4th and Halloween. If only we shot off fireworks for Halloween, then he would be in heaven. We had a great time and did not get to bed until very late.
I love my new ring. I wear it on my wedding finger due to still not being able to wear my wedding band. It is funny. I can wear all my old clothes and my feet did not grow as they have with friend’s of mine. However, the tell tale that I was pregnant is my ring size, my stretch marks, and my slightly loose lower belly. I would like for my ring size to go back so I don’t have to resize my wedding band. I know that my belly will firm, in fact it is getting better everyday. As far as my stretch marks, I love them. They are proof that this angel was in my belly and that I wasn’t simply dreaming. They are proof that my Sweetie and I made her. Back to the ring. You would think it was a new engagement ring with how much I love it. I look at it all day. It is not expensive or anything like that. It is just a ring my Sweetie wanted me to have. It makes me so happy.
What else is in my Brain today? Mom is stopping by after work so we can all go to ToysRus. This should be fun.
As I type this, my JuneBug is lying on my lap wide awake. She has the most beautiful eyes. It is amazing to have a daughter. So much is different from last year. I am so happy.
I have not started exercising yet. I hope to this week. Of course, my clearance only came yesterday. It is hard during the day. Serif takes so much of my time with feedings and pumping. She was doing good with the shield. However, she still was not getting enough food. Then she got smart and decided to not use the shield. We shall keep trying. At least she is still getting my milk. I think I will talk to my doctor at my 6-week appointment about increasing my supply using medicine. She is so beautiful, so perfect. Now she naps.
My maternity leave is 1/3 of the way complete. I cannot believe it. Tomorrow is my co-worker’s b-day. I may go to the company lunch with Serif. It would be a nice way to introduce her to everyone. Tomorrow is also her one month b-day. I want to get professional photos done. I hope I can get in.
Last night I spent the evening working on work. I don’t mind, it means that I am needed. We also watched Magnolia. That was one strange and long movie. Not our kind of movie at all. It wasn’t even the content that was the issue, it was the delivery.
I realize that I did not write about the 4th of July. We had a great day. The day consisted of Mom, MIL, Grandpa, SIL (husband’s sister), niece, SIL’s boyfriend, Brother, SIL (brother’s wife), and my little family. We enjoyed BBQ and many many fireworks. My Sweetie is such a pyromaniac. Some don’t know this. His two favorite holidays are the 4th and Halloween. If only we shot off fireworks for Halloween, then he would be in heaven. We had a great time and did not get to bed until very late.
I love my new ring. I wear it on my wedding finger due to still not being able to wear my wedding band. It is funny. I can wear all my old clothes and my feet did not grow as they have with friend’s of mine. However, the tell tale that I was pregnant is my ring size, my stretch marks, and my slightly loose lower belly. I would like for my ring size to go back so I don’t have to resize my wedding band. I know that my belly will firm, in fact it is getting better everyday. As far as my stretch marks, I love them. They are proof that this angel was in my belly and that I wasn’t simply dreaming. They are proof that my Sweetie and I made her. Back to the ring. You would think it was a new engagement ring with how much I love it. I look at it all day. It is not expensive or anything like that. It is just a ring my Sweetie wanted me to have. It makes me so happy.
What else is in my Brain today? Mom is stopping by after work so we can all go to ToysRus. This should be fun.
Monday, July 04, 2005
I Love This Man
Our weekend was so fantastic. Friday night Brother, SIL, and Mom came over to hang out with us and we had very interesting discussions. I never know where the conversations with my brother will end up.
Saturday was our first family weekend day. The first weekend we brought her home, the second we went to the grocery store, and last weekend consisted of out of town guests and making the 48 hour movie. So yesterday we had a blast. We went to the mall. We took Serif to her first trip to the Apple Store. YAY. We also went to James Avery and my Sweetie bought me a ring that he has been looking at for many months but wanted to wait until after Serif’s arrival to purchase due to sizing. I love it. It is so beautiful. We came home and after a family napping experience decided to watch the “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” We loved it. It is totally awesome, exactly our kind of movie. I am so glad we bought it sight unseen. After the movie we stayed up until 3am discussing the ideas in the movie. In case you don’t know, the movie is about erasing memories. We both decided that we would not want to erase any of our memories, even the horrible ones. This goes back to the whole idea that our actions and our past put us where we are today.
Today has been very productive with the normal grocery store outing. This time our JuneBug was awake for almost the whole trip. She was so good and took everything in. After our outing we brought my Mom back to our house and proceeded to get ready for our first date since Serif’s arrival. She was so wonderful and watched our princess while we went out. We saw Howl’s Moving Castle. We love all of Hayao Miyazaki’s movies. This one was no different and met our expectations. The best part was that it was subtitled and not dubbed – we prefer this option. After the movie, we went to Cheesecake Factory for dessert. This was very romantic. I even enjoyed an adult beverage. My Sweetie stopped me while I was talking and told me that he loves me so much. It melted my heart. While it was hard to leave my little one, I had the best time. This weekend was filled with things that are very much my Sweetie and me. It makes me so happy. Weekends like this remind me how obvious it is that my Sweetie and I are soul-mates.
Today my Sweetie and Brother went and bought fireworks. This should be quite a show for my JuneBug’s first 4th of July.
I go to bed tonight very happy - actually quite blissful.
Life is good.
Saturday was our first family weekend day. The first weekend we brought her home, the second we went to the grocery store, and last weekend consisted of out of town guests and making the 48 hour movie. So yesterday we had a blast. We went to the mall. We took Serif to her first trip to the Apple Store. YAY. We also went to James Avery and my Sweetie bought me a ring that he has been looking at for many months but wanted to wait until after Serif’s arrival to purchase due to sizing. I love it. It is so beautiful. We came home and after a family napping experience decided to watch the “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” We loved it. It is totally awesome, exactly our kind of movie. I am so glad we bought it sight unseen. After the movie we stayed up until 3am discussing the ideas in the movie. In case you don’t know, the movie is about erasing memories. We both decided that we would not want to erase any of our memories, even the horrible ones. This goes back to the whole idea that our actions and our past put us where we are today.
Today has been very productive with the normal grocery store outing. This time our JuneBug was awake for almost the whole trip. She was so good and took everything in. After our outing we brought my Mom back to our house and proceeded to get ready for our first date since Serif’s arrival. She was so wonderful and watched our princess while we went out. We saw Howl’s Moving Castle. We love all of Hayao Miyazaki’s movies. This one was no different and met our expectations. The best part was that it was subtitled and not dubbed – we prefer this option. After the movie, we went to Cheesecake Factory for dessert. This was very romantic. I even enjoyed an adult beverage. My Sweetie stopped me while I was talking and told me that he loves me so much. It melted my heart. While it was hard to leave my little one, I had the best time. This weekend was filled with things that are very much my Sweetie and me. It makes me so happy. Weekends like this remind me how obvious it is that my Sweetie and I are soul-mates.
Today my Sweetie and Brother went and bought fireworks. This should be quite a show for my JuneBug’s first 4th of July.
I go to bed tonight very happy - actually quite blissful.
Life is good.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Perfect Outings
The most wonderful thing to wake up to is a newborn’s face, a face like fresh untouched snow, perfection in every inch. When her eyes open, a grin comes over her face and we start our day. She wakes me with this smile everyday instead of crying. I know this could change at any moment so I am going to enjoy
After three weeks, we are getting into a routine. The best part is at night. As soon as my Sweetie comes home, he takes over. He loves to hold her, kiss her, and even change her diaper. He is such a great father. Yesterday morning while he was getting ready for work and Serif and I slept, he took a picture of us because we were so cute.
Yesterday I went on an outing with my JuneBug. We got my car registration and proceeded to Serif’s first outing to the mall. This was also my first time to take her out in her stroller. It was perfect. We did some shopping, some walking, and we were very productive. After such a wonderful outing, we came home and enjoyed a nap.
Today was another big outing day. We had lunch with my Sweetie for the first time. We took her to our normal place, Pok-e-Joes. After, we made a quick trip to Mom’s work and ending out outing at Target. We had so much fun. I love taking her outside.
Today was a big step for us. While at Target I bought a nipple shield – cannot find the one from the hospital – and she never used it. However, I have had the urge to get one since last week. I did not know that Target would sell them and thought I would have to make the trek to BabiesRus. Well, I bought one and came home to give it a try. She nursed on me for 10 minutes. WOO HOO!!!! I am such a happy mommy. It has been a rough start, but I am not giving up. This is huge. My Grandmother did not produce milk. My mom did not produce enough and formula fed me. I want Serif to grow strong with my milk.
I am in such a great mood today. I am beyond happy. This weekend is going to be wonderful. I bought Serif a new little outfit for the fourth – just in case the outfit I picked out does not fit yet.
I am so excited to start working out next week. I am going to focus on walking and stretching. I am just so happy to be less than I was when I got pregnant. And it appears I have lost even more. I will keep everyone updated on my progress.
Oh and I heard back from the TSBPA – CPA testing board. My deadline for testing is the end of this year. I was worried about being able to take all four sections in this time-frame. Well my worries are no more, I only have to take ONE part before the end of the year, then I have another 18 months to take the following three parts. YAY. I can do that. I am hoping to start studying next week but don’t have to get serious until September. That is the best news as I am still adjusting to our new lifestyle.
This weekend is going to be wonderful. We are going to spend time with our little family as well as extended family. Tomorrow should be interesting, as this will be our first Saturday as just the three of us.
I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday weekend.
After three weeks, we are getting into a routine. The best part is at night. As soon as my Sweetie comes home, he takes over. He loves to hold her, kiss her, and even change her diaper. He is such a great father. Yesterday morning while he was getting ready for work and Serif and I slept, he took a picture of us because we were so cute.
Yesterday I went on an outing with my JuneBug. We got my car registration and proceeded to Serif’s first outing to the mall. This was also my first time to take her out in her stroller. It was perfect. We did some shopping, some walking, and we were very productive. After such a wonderful outing, we came home and enjoyed a nap.
Today was another big outing day. We had lunch with my Sweetie for the first time. We took her to our normal place, Pok-e-Joes. After, we made a quick trip to Mom’s work and ending out outing at Target. We had so much fun. I love taking her outside.
Today was a big step for us. While at Target I bought a nipple shield – cannot find the one from the hospital – and she never used it. However, I have had the urge to get one since last week. I did not know that Target would sell them and thought I would have to make the trek to BabiesRus. Well, I bought one and came home to give it a try. She nursed on me for 10 minutes. WOO HOO!!!! I am such a happy mommy. It has been a rough start, but I am not giving up. This is huge. My Grandmother did not produce milk. My mom did not produce enough and formula fed me. I want Serif to grow strong with my milk.
I am in such a great mood today. I am beyond happy. This weekend is going to be wonderful. I bought Serif a new little outfit for the fourth – just in case the outfit I picked out does not fit yet.
I am so excited to start working out next week. I am going to focus on walking and stretching. I am just so happy to be less than I was when I got pregnant. And it appears I have lost even more. I will keep everyone updated on my progress.
Oh and I heard back from the TSBPA – CPA testing board. My deadline for testing is the end of this year. I was worried about being able to take all four sections in this time-frame. Well my worries are no more, I only have to take ONE part before the end of the year, then I have another 18 months to take the following three parts. YAY. I can do that. I am hoping to start studying next week but don’t have to get serious until September. That is the best news as I am still adjusting to our new lifestyle.
This weekend is going to be wonderful. We are going to spend time with our little family as well as extended family. Tomorrow should be interesting, as this will be our first Saturday as just the three of us.
I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday weekend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)