Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Self improvement, pumping decision, and family weekend

As I write this I have an angel on my chest. This is not out of the norm, but I felt I should mention it - as it makes me so happy.

Today my Sweetie is working on preparing his portfolio to find work. He keeps coming out of the computer room to kiss me and JuneBug.

Wow I have not written in a few days.

This past weekend was good. Friday night was dinner with Mom, Brother, and my little family. It was some good food. Saturday was MIL's b-day celebration. We packed JuneBug up and went to MIL's house. JuneBug did good and had a good combination of sleep and awake. Of course, everyone gave her the attention that she deserves. That night my Sweetie and I watched the Sarah McLachlan concert on DVD. It was a year since we saw her in person. Sunday Mom and I went out for a girls' outing. I got my hair cut, well trimmed and not cut. I had not cut my hair since becoming pregnant and it was time. Mostly I wanted it looking nice when I dye it next week.

I also worked out on Sunday. A little upper body weight training session. It felt great. I am really getting back into everything. I have to, after all Carnaval is not far away. DarkDiva is planning a wonderful costume for me.

I made the decision to quit pumping. Friday I went to pump and JuneBug was calm and happy. The minute I started the pump she started crying. My Sweetie took her to another room, out of earshot, and she calmed down. That was all I needed for my decision. I pumped Saturday morning and evening to relieve pressure and have not since. I must say it is wonderful. I have my body back. I am not living in 3 hour increments. I feel I am enjoying my daughter more. That is all that matters. Plus I have always loved that my Sweetie can help with the feedings. As of this morning, I was still leaking some, but have not been engorged or had any pain since Saturday. And I am happy to say that I am not feeling guilty about the decision. I feel very relieved. With pumping I was constantly reminded that I was not making enough. Now I can focus on all the more important things in life.

I cannot wait for Sweetie's party. I still have to finish his present. This weekend I actually made more work for myself - not in bad way, but Serif's gift also requires some work. Sweetie and I are also pretty close to deciding on tattoos. I cannot wait.

I am big on improving one's self. I have several "self help" type books. I decided to work on myself before I have to start studying for the CPA. The book I am working with is called "Change Your Life in 30 Days". Last night I finished day three. I think it is really helping. Day one is about being true to yourself, day two discusses acknowledging yourself, and day three is about confidence.

I am feeling good, no, I am feeling great. I can tell such a difference in myself from last year. I just have to smile. My life is good. Yes, things are a little more stressful with Sweetie out of work. However, I am not reacting the way I have in the past with a situation like this. I love being able to see personal growth. Of course there is no end to personal growth, hence the reason why I am working through this book now. I will keep everyone updated on my progress.

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