Confidence

I am working on my confidence - going to start exercising again as well as incorporating yoga into my routine. I am also making sure that I work on my self-esteem. Actually, strangely enough it has been good lately; feeling sexy, beautiful, and strong. The past days have given me a new feeling of hope in my ability to control my destiny. I like control. Although my desk and house does not show it, I like order. I like to know the outcome of things and what it will take to get me there.

Because of this, I am postponing my first two sections of the CPA until the beginning of the year. This semester is harder than expected and I think I will benefit from some self-evaluation. I will still be studying every weekend, but only 8 hours compared to 16. This was a hard decision. However, I think it is for the best. I have a big project in Accounting Ethics that has potential for publication. That would be nice. Moreover, what is my hurry - passing should be my focus not becoming a hermit to reach the goal.

I will make sure to get my studies complete as planned - and yes a daily account of what needs to be accomplished already exists - on excel. Nevertheless, I need to make sure that I take as much effort for myself. I need to make sure that I put myself first from here on out. I need to make sure that I know what I want and how to reach these goals. Independence and a clear head - that is my goal.

At this point in my life, there are many decisions to make. I have to have confidence in my ability to make them correctly. I have to trust in my instincts. They have yet to be wrong. Unfortunately, I seem to have an unbelievable sense of ESP at times. I appreciate it and hate it. Can’t we all live in ignorant bliss? Is there even such a thing? There just seems to be so many issues right now.

Cynicism is an interesting thing. You lose as many people as I have, and have hurt as many times as I have – and you grow cynical. You begin to see the crazy hysteria with everyday life.