I am having a very hard day, and it is only morning. I mentioned before that September is always hard on me. I expected this one to be worse and I am correct. Heard from best friend last night. We (best friend, moto diva, and I) and getting together with Dark Diva this weekend. I have been trying to think of something to do for Dark Diva that would be special from those who know. This has brought back so many feelings. I am sitting here at work tearing up. I miss my father so badly today that my stomach, heart, and throat ache. I don't want to be here right now. Don't want to be around anyone. What I would really like is to take a very long walk - wherever it leads me while listening to emotional music and letting the built up tears flow. I think I will try to write some poetry today, always has helped in the past.
I think the part that really gets to me is how much my father has missed. In the last seven years I have gotten married, bought a house, finished school, continued on for my MBA, qualified for the CPA, walked two half marathons for charity, and got a great job.
I will go this weekend to visit Dark Diva. I will try to hold back some of my emotions. I will resist the urge to run from this event. I don't think I will make weight watchers tomorrow. Instead I will try to go for the walk that I need. I need to work through this. Not "get over" but get into a better place. Yes, even after 7 years it hurts. But I think all of the circumstances this year makes the pain worse.
I tend to keep my emotions inside - don't want to bother others. I need to remember that those around me love me and want to help.
I need to go shopping.
1 comment:
Wow going through blogs, boredom at work will do that to you. But yours caught my eye and made me read. I hope everything for you is going better. And there is nothing better than a good cry. ;0) Or shopping whichever one brings you more happiness. Take care
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