2005 is a big year. I know as a child 2005 sounded like light years away. However, as time often does, 2005 arrived quickly. This year marks a significant b-day with my Sweetie turning 30, an MBA graduation for me, first baby for us, and hopefully some CPA accomplished.
Every year is its own creature. You know what I mean. While some things are constant, every year feels slightly different from the last, whether it is based on worldly events or situations close to home. This year will be no exception.
As my belly swells, I am reminded of the commitment and love between my Sweetie and I. What truly amazes me is the ability for a married couple to evolve. I know of several situations where the evolution turned the relationship sour. However, I am a witness to the opposite. Our marriage is very different today from the beginning, or even a year ago. This evolution is not what I would have expected. At least my analytical brain would never put this cause and effect together. We are stronger, more passionate, and more respectful than ever. I could token it to falling in love. Although when you fall in love, typically, you do not know the person very well and are in the new phase of the relationship. While feelings are deep for this person, complete security and unconditional love take time. No, this is not like falling in love. Our situation is more like walking along a path in a park. You believe it to be the most beautiful area, in spite of some of the surroundings. You walk it daily enjoying the beauty. One day you find yourself falling into a hole, a hole that somehow you missed. While falling, you feel hurt and pain. The reward is when you land. The beautiful park of before compares nothing to the enchanted-like forest you stand in now. The miracle is when you discover that you stand within the park from before - only transformed into something more beautiful than you could ever imagine.
If you have never experienced such a transformation, this may not make any sense. If your transformation was only to the worse, simply imagine the exact opposite happening. My life, in so many ways, is so different from 4 months ago. It is for the better. I still feel that I am in a transformation, a dream state of sorts. I feel that at any minute I will awake to find that the beautiful forest does not exist. I cling to this state, not knowing what the future holds, not knowing how 2005 will feel.
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