I m beyond behind at work, but that is ok. I am enjoying what I am doing again. Part of it is knowing L is being taken care of. My brain simply works better when I have work to do. My boss has been awesome, which helps a ton.
I got my Rx for my happy pills filled - and it is going to cost me $0. I love promotional coupons. I am also getting back into my walking this week and begin training for the Turkey Trot. Yay. In the work challenge I need to still lose 4.25 pounds before Aug 6th. I can do that. And the lingering weigh in will keep me good during Sweetie's b-day.
Two kids, two jobs, a house to maintain (or at least try), and trying to find one on one time together is not the easiest combination in a marriage. But I am happy to say we are doing it. And while I am getting frustrated easier and using Sweetie as a easy target, our communication is better. We are getting the whole routine of two kids down while trying to keep things even. With Bug it was easier as it was two of us splitting her care. Now there are two that need our attention and in very different ways.
This week has really made me feel more like myself again. My pregnancy was hard and filled with fear of another miscarriage. Then there is the whole lack of sleep, recovering from surgery, dealing with hormones part.
Last night I was having a frustrated moment and took it out on Sweetie. I admit it. He came in calm asking if that is what I was doing. Now in the moment I didn't admit it, I am still a woman. But I know it is true. Instead of wallowing in the frustration and complaining about this and that, I decided "do something about it". I know that sounds easy, but sometimes all the "to-dos" and frustrations take over. So I made myself stop and think about what was the one thing bothering me then and I dealt with it. Baby steps. I got the dishes done, then I picked clothes out for me and the kids, prepped the bottles for school, and took a nice long shower. To a new mom, even a new again mom, the shower is the end all. It can make your whole day. I did all of this while Sweetie put Bug to bed. I went to bed feeling accomplished, less stressed, and ready for the next day. I know this is common knowledge to a lot of people. But I just don't have the habits yet. I am working on it.
Another thing I did was plan for my next test. I am pumped. I have an email in to the IMA They changed the format in May and I have to find out how the section I took relates to the new way. I even contacted my study guide company and they told me that the items for the new version will be of no charge and it is simple switch on their end. That made my day. Now to get into a routine that stops my frustration from being overwhelming and able to get my studying and exercising in. Oh and take care of the kids and the house and work....oh no here comes the frustration again ;-) One step at a time. I need to make a list and do what I can. The most important part of my day is spending time with my kids.
Now off to finalize the last details for G's b-day tomorrow. It is going to be fun.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Monday, July 05, 2010
A Happy 4th
We had a great 4th of July. BBQ, family, laughs, and fireworks. It really was good. Last year I had 5th disease so I was in pain. And we couldn't do fireworks due to the drought. The year before I was newly pregnant and feeling like crap (it was the pregnancy I miscarried). This year was awesome, no pain, happily holding my 3 month old while watching my Niece and Bug play, and my Brother was here. That last one really made it wonderful. He has been staying with my mom. And on a purely selfish level, I have loved it. He is close by and Bug has been able to bond with him again. They were even playing soccer outside yesterday. He is already planning on coaching sports for L. My kids are very lucky with the family they have.
This was L's first 4th, and first fireworks. They were fun, but scary. We had several that blew too soon, not far off the ground, or didn't go off at all. The quality simply was not there. And after all the years of incident free fireworks, this year we had a close call. A fountain went off too soon and got Sweetie. I watched him jump back and fall to the ground in the yard across the street. I was by the house, holding L, talking to G, and watching Bug draw with chalk on the driveway. I put L in G's arms and ran to him expecting the worst. I thought for sure there would be blood, a missing ear, and a needed trip to the ER. We are very lucky, his ear is fine, he just needed a minute to recover. He does have a burn/scrape on his shin. He really scared the crap out of me.
It really was fun though, we stayed up until nearly three. The kids were, of course, passed out so we stayed at Gs. Since moving out 13 years ago, I have only stayed here a few times. This morning was lovely. L and I were up first. I cleaned bottles while enjoying the quiet morning. Then we sat outside while he had his breakfast bottle. It was very nice. Now Sweetie is making us breakfast. I don't know what we have in store for today, but so far the holiday weekend has been wonderful.
This was L's first 4th, and first fireworks. They were fun, but scary. We had several that blew too soon, not far off the ground, or didn't go off at all. The quality simply was not there. And after all the years of incident free fireworks, this year we had a close call. A fountain went off too soon and got Sweetie. I watched him jump back and fall to the ground in the yard across the street. I was by the house, holding L, talking to G, and watching Bug draw with chalk on the driveway. I put L in G's arms and ran to him expecting the worst. I thought for sure there would be blood, a missing ear, and a needed trip to the ER. We are very lucky, his ear is fine, he just needed a minute to recover. He does have a burn/scrape on his shin. He really scared the crap out of me.
It really was fun though, we stayed up until nearly three. The kids were, of course, passed out so we stayed at Gs. Since moving out 13 years ago, I have only stayed here a few times. This morning was lovely. L and I were up first. I cleaned bottles while enjoying the quiet morning. Then we sat outside while he had his breakfast bottle. It was very nice. Now Sweetie is making us breakfast. I don't know what we have in store for today, but so far the holiday weekend has been wonderful.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Relaxing
Well, my girl day turned in early. We went to Brushy Creek Park to walk the trails. And we did just that. The rain held out for us and it was a great time. We played on a play ground and tested our strength. Luckily we were the only ones there. As we left to go to lunch she said "maybe we should have rest first". Sure enough she was tired and wanted to take a nap before lunch.
This weekend is a hard one. I am expecting to break down at least once. We are going through my Dad's study. There are years of memories and junk to go through. I found the tapes of my girl scout performances, my graduation from High School, and Christmas of 91. Sweetie and I are the only ones with a VHS tape deck still so I get to take them to our house and view them.
Going to the park today with Bug a little strange. Even though I have lived in the same area, within 4 miles of the house I grew up in, my whole life, I rarely go North towards the schools I went to. I knew things had changed, but this time I was explaining the sights to Bug, so it really hit me. This was the first time I drove past my elementary in a very long time. It has changed in so many ways. She was very interested that it was the school where I went to Kindergarten. She asked my teacher's name and what we did in class. Having a five year old is awesome.
While at the park we found a fishing spot that my Dad would have loved. Going with the rest of the weekend, it got me a little teary. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a sad weekend. It is a reflective weekend. Remembering the good times, missing those who we lost along the way, and planning for the future. One thing we found so far was really cool. It was a photo album of my grandma's (father's mom). It was made in 1930 and had her address listed. We were saying how cool it was and I said we should look it up on google maps. We did and it was so neat. The house may not be the same, but we looked around the street. It was very neat. She was 27 at the time, single and loving it. The album has pictures of many friends (male and female) and places. Truly neat to think about my grandma as a young woman. If only I could go back as a fly on the wall and see what it was like when they were my age.
Now off to snuggle the next generation :-)
This weekend is a hard one. I am expecting to break down at least once. We are going through my Dad's study. There are years of memories and junk to go through. I found the tapes of my girl scout performances, my graduation from High School, and Christmas of 91. Sweetie and I are the only ones with a VHS tape deck still so I get to take them to our house and view them.
Going to the park today with Bug a little strange. Even though I have lived in the same area, within 4 miles of the house I grew up in, my whole life, I rarely go North towards the schools I went to. I knew things had changed, but this time I was explaining the sights to Bug, so it really hit me. This was the first time I drove past my elementary in a very long time. It has changed in so many ways. She was very interested that it was the school where I went to Kindergarten. She asked my teacher's name and what we did in class. Having a five year old is awesome.
While at the park we found a fishing spot that my Dad would have loved. Going with the rest of the weekend, it got me a little teary. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a sad weekend. It is a reflective weekend. Remembering the good times, missing those who we lost along the way, and planning for the future. One thing we found so far was really cool. It was a photo album of my grandma's (father's mom). It was made in 1930 and had her address listed. We were saying how cool it was and I said we should look it up on google maps. We did and it was so neat. The house may not be the same, but we looked around the street. It was very neat. She was 27 at the time, single and loving it. The album has pictures of many friends (male and female) and places. Truly neat to think about my grandma as a young woman. If only I could go back as a fly on the wall and see what it was like when they were my age.
Now off to snuggle the next generation :-)
Friday, July 02, 2010
Going good
Things are good. L started daycare yesterday. I was good and didn't cry. Though I did tear up at work and the day before, lol. Work is good. I am happy to be back. I have a ton to do and am behind but that is a good thing as it makes the day go faster and I can get to my babies sooner.
Did I mention the 10 pound challenge. Work has this challenge where you have to lose 10 pounds before Aug 6th. If you don't you have to pay $100 to the pot. If you do lose it then you get to split the pot with others that also lost. This is completely voluntary, but once you commit you are in. Well, I am happy to say I only need to lose 5 more to be at the goal. Woo Hoo.
I need to start walking again. Really what I need is a better schedule for the kids and Sweetie. But the priority is there. Sweetie has been running again and doing good. Our goal is at least a 10k, if not a half marathon for L's 1st b-day.
I am still shocked that I have kidS. Two, isn't that crazy. I feel like more of an adult with two. Not to mention the pain that writing the check yesterday caused. Two in daycare (and a very nice one at that) is expensive. But it is worth it. If it means we have to stay in our little house for an extra year to make it work, it is worth it. My kids are worth it.
I need to post some pics. If you are on my facebook, I know you have seen how absolutely adorable L is. He is all boy and I am happy to say no one has thought he was a girl. But it is his cheeks, you just want to squeeze them. So far I have heard that he looks like Sweetie and Bug. This is funny as Bug looks like me but no one says he looks like me. I hope it looks more like Sweetie. It would only be fair :-)
This past weekend we went to Ft Worth for our first little family vacation as a set of 4. It was a LOT of fun. We are going to make it a priority to go away at least once a quarter. With Sweetie's spot finding (gowalla) and our love of just wondering, walking, and talking we can go anywhere.
I am very excited about this weekend. Yes, I only worked two days and then get a three day weekend. I planned that quite nicely. Tomorrow I get one on one girl time with Bug, then the 4th and fireworks, and Monday will be family fun tooling around town and visiting some parks. I have a feeling I am going to do some more videoing for the spot finder ;-)
Things are good. And I am doing very good. Happy pills kicked in, thyroid meds reduced, and just enjoying my family. I am letting go of the whole perfection goal. I need to start back on the FlyLady. It is all about babysteps.
Let the weekend begin :-)
Did I mention the 10 pound challenge. Work has this challenge where you have to lose 10 pounds before Aug 6th. If you don't you have to pay $100 to the pot. If you do lose it then you get to split the pot with others that also lost. This is completely voluntary, but once you commit you are in. Well, I am happy to say I only need to lose 5 more to be at the goal. Woo Hoo.
I need to start walking again. Really what I need is a better schedule for the kids and Sweetie. But the priority is there. Sweetie has been running again and doing good. Our goal is at least a 10k, if not a half marathon for L's 1st b-day.
I am still shocked that I have kidS. Two, isn't that crazy. I feel like more of an adult with two. Not to mention the pain that writing the check yesterday caused. Two in daycare (and a very nice one at that) is expensive. But it is worth it. If it means we have to stay in our little house for an extra year to make it work, it is worth it. My kids are worth it.
I need to post some pics. If you are on my facebook, I know you have seen how absolutely adorable L is. He is all boy and I am happy to say no one has thought he was a girl. But it is his cheeks, you just want to squeeze them. So far I have heard that he looks like Sweetie and Bug. This is funny as Bug looks like me but no one says he looks like me. I hope it looks more like Sweetie. It would only be fair :-)
This past weekend we went to Ft Worth for our first little family vacation as a set of 4. It was a LOT of fun. We are going to make it a priority to go away at least once a quarter. With Sweetie's spot finding (gowalla) and our love of just wondering, walking, and talking we can go anywhere.
I am very excited about this weekend. Yes, I only worked two days and then get a three day weekend. I planned that quite nicely. Tomorrow I get one on one girl time with Bug, then the 4th and fireworks, and Monday will be family fun tooling around town and visiting some parks. I have a feeling I am going to do some more videoing for the spot finder ;-)
Things are good. And I am doing very good. Happy pills kicked in, thyroid meds reduced, and just enjoying my family. I am letting go of the whole perfection goal. I need to start back on the FlyLady. It is all about babysteps.
Let the weekend begin :-)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Need to blog more
I dreamt last night about blogging. It was very real, just me sitting on the cot in L's room and blogging. I don't remember all I wrote, but I know it was like "I know I need to get back into this". I woke up honestly surprised the blog wasn't written, it was that real.
So there it is, I need to blog more. Today is my last day of maternity leave. I have both kids with me and having lunch with Sweetie. I am going to make the most of my time before going back to work tomorrow. I am sure a post will come tomorrow along the lines of having to leave L :-) I know it is time. I need my adult life back and he is big enough to have fun. I am just going to miss holding throughout the day.
So there it is, I need to blog more. Today is my last day of maternity leave. I have both kids with me and having lunch with Sweetie. I am going to make the most of my time before going back to work tomorrow. I am sure a post will come tomorrow along the lines of having to leave L :-) I know it is time. I need my adult life back and he is big enough to have fun. I am just going to miss holding throughout the day.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
feeling a little lost
Bug is now 5. How can that be? Didn't I just have her? She is amazing and awesome.
I go back to work in three weeks. I have been working from home and it is hard. Between L (who is awesome too), and systems not working and things being slower from home, I am just spinning my wheels. I worked 5.5 hours today from home and got nothing done. I don't want to leave, I am just tired of reports not working.
I feel like I am losing my grasp on everything. I am not one for a pity party, I just feel like I need an outlet. Luckily, I got on some happy pills today. I hope it helps. I need a routine, some structure, something to help my brain. I need to be able to touch something and have it work. And most importantly, I think I need some work on me. My weight has gotten to me, I feel unattractive. I am going to do something about it right now. Time for some lists, goals, baby steps so I feel accomplished.
Thank you, all I needed was to vent for a little while. Maybe writing about it will help. If I decide it is getting too personal, I will move the address.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Still here
Baby boy is getting big, over 11 lbs and 7 weeks today. Life is busy and crazy, but wonderful. I have a little less than a month and a half left at home. More updates will come, but I wanted everyone to know that things are good :-)
Monday, May 03, 2010
Time flying by
My recovery is going good. It was better than last time until I carried my dude in his carseat too soon. This caused a small hole on my incision. Blah. The good news is that not even 2 weeks later and the hole is healed. This week I am going to get out the jogging stroller and go for a walk with little dude.
Having two is very different, but not a nightmare at all. Sweetie is focusing on Bug while I focus on baby. I love having two - yes I know it has only been a little over a month. But it truly is fun.
Things are good. It is time for me to get back to studying and getting healthy. As far as the healthy part, I have motivation. In-law wedding mid july. Oh yes that is some good motivation.
Oh I realized that I have not posted a pic of my guy - here he is with his beautiful grin.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Happy Easter
Happy Easter everyone. Today is a wonderful day. I am surrounded with family and reminded how lucky I truly am. This year my tiny family is one larger and feels complete. If you ask Sweetie he says he wants one more, but we shall see.
I am happy to announce the arrival of Lucas Xavier Tolleson on 3.30.10 at 1:29pm. He weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and was 20 inches in length. He is perfect and we adore him. Bug has stepped into the big sister role without any issues. She adores him, kisses him, hugs him, and says he is her favorite.
While at the hospital Sweetie and Bug stayed with me. It was such a nice transition into our larger family size. We came home on Friday and have been enjoying some nice quiet family time.
I don't have pics to post right now but there are a few on facebook. Don't worry will be some posted here soon.
I am happy to announce the arrival of Lucas Xavier Tolleson on 3.30.10 at 1:29pm. He weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and was 20 inches in length. He is perfect and we adore him. Bug has stepped into the big sister role without any issues. She adores him, kisses him, hugs him, and says he is her favorite.
While at the hospital Sweetie and Bug stayed with me. It was such a nice transition into our larger family size. We came home on Friday and have been enjoying some nice quiet family time.
I don't have pics to post right now but there are a few on facebook. Don't worry will be some posted here soon.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Today is the day
and I should be sleeping. But I am not. I have honestly the worst heart burn that I have had through the whole pregnancy. And if I have complained about anything it is the heartburn. So I am up. I know I need my sleep, so I will be trying again in a few minutes, hoping the last batch of tums helps.
But the big thing is that I get to meet my boy today. I cannot wait. I am terrified, more so than with Bug. I think it is the whole ignorance is bliss vs. been there and done that. Sometimes knowing what you are getting into is scarier, lol.
The house isn't perfect. His room is beautiful, but the dining room still holds many items that need to be put away that came from his room. I have to let that go. The situation was the same with Bug, and everything turned out good :-) We are not doing our Whataburger run in the middle of the night this time. Earlier in the week during a horrible, but not this bad, bout of heartburn I declared that we shouldn't do it as I wouldn't be able to sleep after. Kind of funny that I am up anyway.
I hope Bug is ready. I just want to hold her and make sure that she is reassured and happy. I want her to know that this is not a replacement but simply an addition. I adore her so much. We had our girl day today. It wasn't as "big" as we had planned. I wasn't feeling up for much.
I hope today goes smoothly. I feel like we are forgetting something big.
But the big thing is that I get to meet my boy today. I cannot wait. I am terrified, more so than with Bug. I think it is the whole ignorance is bliss vs. been there and done that. Sometimes knowing what you are getting into is scarier, lol.
The house isn't perfect. His room is beautiful, but the dining room still holds many items that need to be put away that came from his room. I have to let that go. The situation was the same with Bug, and everything turned out good :-) We are not doing our Whataburger run in the middle of the night this time. Earlier in the week during a horrible, but not this bad, bout of heartburn I declared that we shouldn't do it as I wouldn't be able to sleep after. Kind of funny that I am up anyway.
I hope Bug is ready. I just want to hold her and make sure that she is reassured and happy. I want her to know that this is not a replacement but simply an addition. I adore her so much. We had our girl day today. It wasn't as "big" as we had planned. I wasn't feeling up for much.
I hope today goes smoothly. I feel like we are forgetting something big.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
happiness
I am sitting in a beautiful park on an 80 degree day. My family plays as I watch butterflies and dragonflies. 3 days until baby L. Life is so good.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Wrapping it up
Yesterday was my 37 week appointment. The Friday before I also had to go in due to a spike in blood pressure. I was put on bedrest for the weekend. The bp never went back up - which is good. However, this caused enough concern to the Dr that he moved my c-section date to 3/30. This is one week earlier. We are a little scattered with this but at the same time ready. Next week I get to meet my little boy. I am so thrilled. I cannot wait to hold him. While this pregnancy has felt like forever in some ways in others it went by so fast. He is most likely my last baby and I am trying to cling to each kick. This pregnancy was so very different from Bug's. This one, due to my miscarriage in 2008, was filled with more worry, caution, nervousness. Add two additional doctors to the mix and it has been a journey to say the least. The fun part was seeing him more often due to the specialist. And the most amazing part has been Bug's reaction to everything. I am going to miss the additional hugs and kisses that I receive from her that are for him.
Family of four just sounds so grown up. I have to get used to that idea, lol.
Family of four just sounds so grown up. I have to get used to that idea, lol.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
sitting pretty
I sit here 36 weeks and 2 days pregnant. In 5 days my boy will be "term". I am so exited I cannot stand it. The family has come together and helped get the room ready - only thing really left is painting and decals - but that can be done after he comes, worst case. Hard to believe that just a couple of weeks ago the room was a packed computer room.
We also got so many other things taken care of - big sigh of relief. The biggest change was replacing Sweetie's car. Well really it was my car that he inherited in 2000 after his poor car was totaled in a wreck. The car was dead in the drive but we were able to get the dealership of the new car to agree to tow it for us. Today, when I got home, the car was gone. This is good, but it does feel strange. This car was the last one my father helped me purchase. Add some hormones and you will understand.
Other than cleaning the living, dining room, and Bug's room, we are ready for baby L. I just feel like I am in a dream. I cannot wait. I want to see what he looks like, I want to kiss him, I want Bug to meet him. She hugs and kisses my belly. She tells him she loves him. She even said tonight that she cannot wait for him to come out. I adore all of this. I love that she is big enough to understand all of this.
As tonight is the last night of SXSW, Bug and I had a girls night. We went and purchased some new PJS and toiletries for the hospital stay. We are going to pack tonight, just in case. Bug never tried to come early, so I hope he doesn't either. But he is in the 85th percentile and she was never even close. Oh and have I mentioned that he is sideways - yep that feels great :-)
OK off to pack my bag. I hope I don't need it for 21 days :-)
We also got so many other things taken care of - big sigh of relief. The biggest change was replacing Sweetie's car. Well really it was my car that he inherited in 2000 after his poor car was totaled in a wreck. The car was dead in the drive but we were able to get the dealership of the new car to agree to tow it for us. Today, when I got home, the car was gone. This is good, but it does feel strange. This car was the last one my father helped me purchase. Add some hormones and you will understand.
Other than cleaning the living, dining room, and Bug's room, we are ready for baby L. I just feel like I am in a dream. I cannot wait. I want to see what he looks like, I want to kiss him, I want Bug to meet him. She hugs and kisses my belly. She tells him she loves him. She even said tonight that she cannot wait for him to come out. I adore all of this. I love that she is big enough to understand all of this.
As tonight is the last night of SXSW, Bug and I had a girls night. We went and purchased some new PJS and toiletries for the hospital stay. We are going to pack tonight, just in case. Bug never tried to come early, so I hope he doesn't either. But he is in the 85th percentile and she was never even close. Oh and have I mentioned that he is sideways - yep that feels great :-)
OK off to pack my bag. I hope I don't need it for 21 days :-)
Sunday, February 28, 2010
120 days
He did it! Successful completion of 120 days of growth. It sounds so silly, but I am so proud of him. for 120 days he took a picture every day and he posted on the website. He even went to the party in TN. It was a great experience for him. As much as I want him to trim back, I have to admit it is such a part of him now. This is his last photo for the challenge and I adore it!
That is my Sweetie. Man, I adore him. Right now he is delivering our huge wrap around computer desk to my SIL. This means the room is close to being empty and we can start loading it back up and cleaning the remainder of the house that is in disarray since starting this project. We have completed so much this weekend and it gets me excited - 37 days remain at this point. WOO HOO!!!
That is my Sweetie. Man, I adore him. Right now he is delivering our huge wrap around computer desk to my SIL. This means the room is close to being empty and we can start loading it back up and cleaning the remainder of the house that is in disarray since starting this project. We have completed so much this weekend and it gets me excited - 37 days remain at this point. WOO HOO!!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
small break
OK I have to take a moment so I thought I would come here. Every single thing that I have tried to work on today has had an issue. Blah.
Yesterday it snowed. Yes, real live, not just ice but snow. Huge flakes, it was awesome. It lasted all day long. Unfortunately, we still had work and school. Though I did get out early enough to take Bug out in it. It was a lot of fun. And true to form our weather is sunny and beautiful today. One day is all we can take, lol.
This past weekend was girls' weekend. We had so much fun. We went to Sesame Street Elmo 1-2-3. It was fun. The strangest part was walking up to the Frank Erwin Center with Bug and being 33 weeks pregnant. The last time I was there I was 36 weeks pregnant with Bug. In fact the last two times I was there, I was pregnant (brother's graduation in Dec 04 and my MBA graduation May 05). It really made me think about how we have now less than 6 weeks.
As far as baby boy goes, things are good. Monday we had another ultrasound with the specialist and got the "graduation" and do not need to go back. He is still in the 85th percentile and measuring 10 days ahead of schedule. This morning I had my regular OB appointment and everything looks good. So far no movement in my c-section date. 41 days and counting.
This weekend, much to my happiness, Sweetie and MIL are attacking the room. I promise to give them whatever food/water they need if they keep going until it is done. I want to be able to work on Bug's room, the remainder of the house and packing my bag during March.
It is just crazy that in less than 6 weeks I will have a baby boy. Wow. I know it will all come together. It did with Bug.
On 3/8 we go to Kindergarten registration. This part is blowing my mind. How can my baby be big enough for school? So much is happening this year. I just have to slow down and make sure to take it all in.
While I love the kicks and attention the pregnancy gives me, I am so over being pregnant. I want my body back. I want to be able to diet with the goal of weight loss, to exercise without ligament pain or cramping. Sweetie is still holding out for a third, but I am pretty sure we are done. One of each.
My favorite part of this time around is Bug. She is amazing. She loves this little brother so very much and has never met him. She hugs and kisses my belly and tells him "you are my favorite guy". It melts my heart. I know that there will be some rough patches when he comes, but overall I feel like it is going to be good.
The big things to do before he comes are: car seat, Dr set up, room complete, bags packed, car purchased for Sweetie, and house cleaned. Not too bad. I will just keep repeating over and over, it can be done, it can be done, it can be done :-)
Yesterday it snowed. Yes, real live, not just ice but snow. Huge flakes, it was awesome. It lasted all day long. Unfortunately, we still had work and school. Though I did get out early enough to take Bug out in it. It was a lot of fun. And true to form our weather is sunny and beautiful today. One day is all we can take, lol.
This past weekend was girls' weekend. We had so much fun. We went to Sesame Street Elmo 1-2-3. It was fun. The strangest part was walking up to the Frank Erwin Center with Bug and being 33 weeks pregnant. The last time I was there I was 36 weeks pregnant with Bug. In fact the last two times I was there, I was pregnant (brother's graduation in Dec 04 and my MBA graduation May 05). It really made me think about how we have now less than 6 weeks.
As far as baby boy goes, things are good. Monday we had another ultrasound with the specialist and got the "graduation" and do not need to go back. He is still in the 85th percentile and measuring 10 days ahead of schedule. This morning I had my regular OB appointment and everything looks good. So far no movement in my c-section date. 41 days and counting.
This weekend, much to my happiness, Sweetie and MIL are attacking the room. I promise to give them whatever food/water they need if they keep going until it is done. I want to be able to work on Bug's room, the remainder of the house and packing my bag during March.
It is just crazy that in less than 6 weeks I will have a baby boy. Wow. I know it will all come together. It did with Bug.
On 3/8 we go to Kindergarten registration. This part is blowing my mind. How can my baby be big enough for school? So much is happening this year. I just have to slow down and make sure to take it all in.
While I love the kicks and attention the pregnancy gives me, I am so over being pregnant. I want my body back. I want to be able to diet with the goal of weight loss, to exercise without ligament pain or cramping. Sweetie is still holding out for a third, but I am pretty sure we are done. One of each.
My favorite part of this time around is Bug. She is amazing. She loves this little brother so very much and has never met him. She hugs and kisses my belly and tells him "you are my favorite guy". It melts my heart. I know that there will be some rough patches when he comes, but overall I feel like it is going to be good.
The big things to do before he comes are: car seat, Dr set up, room complete, bags packed, car purchased for Sweetie, and house cleaned. Not too bad. I will just keep repeating over and over, it can be done, it can be done, it can be done :-)
Friday, February 19, 2010
playing single parent
I am in the single parent role this weekend. Sweetie is at whiskerino. This is after 111 days of growth.
He is having great fun and thinks I am the best wife ever for making all the travel plans so he could hang with the manly bearded types. It is the least I can do. I don't mind him traveling without me - he wanted me to go with him but I am entirely too pregnant to enjoy it - but I do miss him. We have only been apart 5 weekends over the course of 12 years. I am pretty attached to him :-)
This means Bug and I have a girls' weekend. We shopped for a new dress today for her, had junk food for dinner and now we watch finding nemo. It is a good evening. I have having some BH contractions, nothing scary, and he is kicking like nobodies business. So the remainder of the night is me resting. Tomorrow is Sesame street live. I think we will have fun. Add in some laundry and errands/chores and that sums up our time together. We get to pick Sweetie up at the airport on Sunday.
Our next appointment is on Monday. This is a big one. Not only will we see the growth, but we will also get the scan that looks at all the organs. This is the scan that I received at 36 weeks with Bug, but they do at 33 weeks with my specialist. I am very anxious to see how he will do. I go back to normal OB on Wednesday and with the results on Monday I am hoping we can decide on the best c-section date. Right now 4/6 is scheduled - but I am open if we need to do it earlier.
He is having great fun and thinks I am the best wife ever for making all the travel plans so he could hang with the manly bearded types. It is the least I can do. I don't mind him traveling without me - he wanted me to go with him but I am entirely too pregnant to enjoy it - but I do miss him. We have only been apart 5 weekends over the course of 12 years. I am pretty attached to him :-)This means Bug and I have a girls' weekend. We shopped for a new dress today for her, had junk food for dinner and now we watch finding nemo. It is a good evening. I have having some BH contractions, nothing scary, and he is kicking like nobodies business. So the remainder of the night is me resting. Tomorrow is Sesame street live. I think we will have fun. Add in some laundry and errands/chores and that sums up our time together. We get to pick Sweetie up at the airport on Sunday.
Our next appointment is on Monday. This is a big one. Not only will we see the growth, but we will also get the scan that looks at all the organs. This is the scan that I received at 36 weeks with Bug, but they do at 33 weeks with my specialist. I am very anxious to see how he will do. I go back to normal OB on Wednesday and with the results on Monday I am hoping we can decide on the best c-section date. Right now 4/6 is scheduled - but I am open if we need to do it earlier.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
A bigger job than expected
We are still working on the computer/baby L's room. It is more than we expected. We have at least 11 years worth of bills/school papers/computer room stuff to go through. We are of the mindset of get rid of it all, but we still have to look at all of it. It does bring back memories and such. I mostly stopped using the computer room when Bug was born, started only using my laptop after graduating with my MBA.
Luckily the good has outweighed anything not so good. Love notes, cards, our marriage license, and photos of loved ones has outweighed the box of crap from leaving bad jobs and pictures of friends gone bad.
Our goal is to finish the room by Wednesday - with cleaning it out at least. The step after that is to get Bug's room all set up for her "big sister" room. Then back to his room. Our goal is to keep things even in the whole attention area with two kids. This is going to be fun.
Our Valentine's day plans might not seem the most romantic, but they are to me. Preparing our son's room, cooking a nice dinner together, watching a romantic netflix - that is perfect.
Now off to more cleaning and watching olympics - Go USA!
Luckily the good has outweighed anything not so good. Love notes, cards, our marriage license, and photos of loved ones has outweighed the box of crap from leaving bad jobs and pictures of friends gone bad.
Our goal is to finish the room by Wednesday - with cleaning it out at least. The step after that is to get Bug's room all set up for her "big sister" room. Then back to his room. Our goal is to keep things even in the whole attention area with two kids. This is going to be fun.
Our Valentine's day plans might not seem the most romantic, but they are to me. Preparing our son's room, cooking a nice dinner together, watching a romantic netflix - that is perfect.
Now off to more cleaning and watching olympics - Go USA!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
random
Best quote of the night "daddy will you please stop shooting my unicorn".
We are ready for the Valentine's Day party. It is so hard to believe that on Sunday it will be 13 years since Sweetie proposed on stage.
Life is good. I am still freaking out about getting the room ready - but a ton will be done this week.
Sweetie's car is dead - we have been expecting this for some time. Until we buy a new one, prob end of the month or so, we are car pooling. Honestly, I love that. We get more time together, have spontaneous family dinner out, and it is just fun. We are lucky enough that we both work in locations that permit carpooling.
But the main thing is that I am doing good. Thyroid looks good, baby is kicking like crazy. I can tell how much bigger he is than Bug was, I feel his movements more. This makes me smile. However, a day doesn't go by where a co-worker makes a comment that I won't make it through March as I am huge. Well, it is true, I am huge. I am also only 5'0" and there isn't much room for me to carry him, lol.
OK just wanted to do a quick drop in and let everyone know how I am doing. Oh and since the last post, OB has not changed my c-section date yet. I go back for another size ultrasound on 2/22 and then see regular ob on 2/24. We will see how much this little guy has grown by then.
We are ready for the Valentine's Day party. It is so hard to believe that on Sunday it will be 13 years since Sweetie proposed on stage.
Life is good. I am still freaking out about getting the room ready - but a ton will be done this week.
Sweetie's car is dead - we have been expecting this for some time. Until we buy a new one, prob end of the month or so, we are car pooling. Honestly, I love that. We get more time together, have spontaneous family dinner out, and it is just fun. We are lucky enough that we both work in locations that permit carpooling.
But the main thing is that I am doing good. Thyroid looks good, baby is kicking like crazy. I can tell how much bigger he is than Bug was, I feel his movements more. This makes me smile. However, a day doesn't go by where a co-worker makes a comment that I won't make it through March as I am huge. Well, it is true, I am huge. I am also only 5'0" and there isn't much room for me to carry him, lol.
OK just wanted to do a quick drop in and let everyone know how I am doing. Oh and since the last post, OB has not changed my c-section date yet. I go back for another size ultrasound on 2/22 and then see regular ob on 2/24. We will see how much this little guy has grown by then.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
So much going on in my brain
It is all good. We started on the room. It is hard to see the progress at this point as we are having to sort through nearly 11 years worth of stuff. It is hard to eliminate a room that was filled. But we can do it. Someday we will get the bigger place that allows for a computer room. For now, we shall focus on our little family.
I have another Dr appointment with my regular Ob tomorrow. I am anxious to what he says about baby's size. From my research it seems that he may change my c-section date. That is cool with me. I really want him to make it to week 37 - which is March 23. The good thing about being as short as I am is that there isn't much room for baby. Add a big baby to that mix and I am huge ;-) I believe my boss is expecting me to have him early or be put on bed rest.
Work is good, but busy. I am very thankful for my boss. This time around is so much different, and better, than when I was pregnant with Bug. There is stress to get items done, but I am working very hard to not allow it to get to me.
Currently, I am fighting a cold. Such fun. Sweetie took Bug up to work with him to give me some space to sleep. Of course I couldn't. But I did enjoy a long shower, doing my toes, watching "you've got mail", and now finally some blogging. Now if I could shake this headache and stuffy nose I would be set.
During the day I have a ton of blog ideas go through my head. Of course when I sit down to write, they are all gone.
The best part of this pregnancy is feeling him kick. Well, that and watching Bug feel him kick. I love that she is old enough to fully understand that I am pregnant. While she may not fully understand how things are going to change, she knows a baby is in there. And she has been the biggest helper. It is funny, when we had Bug it was all about us becoming parents. This time it is all about Bug becoming a big sister.
Now to the other perk of third trimester, the fact that I must eat or I will get sick - such fun.
I have another Dr appointment with my regular Ob tomorrow. I am anxious to what he says about baby's size. From my research it seems that he may change my c-section date. That is cool with me. I really want him to make it to week 37 - which is March 23. The good thing about being as short as I am is that there isn't much room for baby. Add a big baby to that mix and I am huge ;-) I believe my boss is expecting me to have him early or be put on bed rest.
Work is good, but busy. I am very thankful for my boss. This time around is so much different, and better, than when I was pregnant with Bug. There is stress to get items done, but I am working very hard to not allow it to get to me.
Currently, I am fighting a cold. Such fun. Sweetie took Bug up to work with him to give me some space to sleep. Of course I couldn't. But I did enjoy a long shower, doing my toes, watching "you've got mail", and now finally some blogging. Now if I could shake this headache and stuffy nose I would be set.
During the day I have a ton of blog ideas go through my head. Of course when I sit down to write, they are all gone.
The best part of this pregnancy is feeling him kick. Well, that and watching Bug feel him kick. I love that she is old enough to fully understand that I am pregnant. While she may not fully understand how things are going to change, she knows a baby is in there. And she has been the biggest helper. It is funny, when we had Bug it was all about us becoming parents. This time it is all about Bug becoming a big sister.
Now to the other perk of third trimester, the fact that I must eat or I will get sick - such fun.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Big boy
Well, I just got back from our 29 week sonogram with the specialist. Baby looks good. The liver looks good, no worries there. He is measuring big. He is about 17 days ahead of schedule. He is in the 84%. Luckily as I am a c-section I am not terrified at the news. I am thinking that this will be a March baby. I do want him to try and hold out until 3/23 - but we will see. They checked my blood sugar and no problems and my blood pressure is looking awesome. Mostly I just feel a need to get everything done. He has the most beautiful cheeks. I cannot wait to kiss them.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Baby growing big and strong
Time is flying. I am 28 weeks now. 11 until my c-section, if he holds out that long. Everything is looking good. I cannot wait to meet him. Serif cannot stop talking about him. She wants LT to come home. I just smile and agree. I am finishing my room this week, little clean up and getting rid of old clothes and such. Then the focus is the room. YAY. Not long now at all :-)
Well, back to work. I just wanted to stop in and let everyone know that things are still good.
Well, back to work. I just wanted to stop in and let everyone know that things are still good.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Happy 2010!!!
**First I want to say that I received a call on New Years Eve from the Dr and all blood work came back normal. The scary sounding diseases are not an issue, yay. Now all we do is wait until the next sonogram and watch for changes.
Here it is, 2010. That date still sounds so futuristic to me. But the biggest thing that this year brings is my due date is in 2010. This means we are going to have our baby boy THIS YEAR - 94 days to be exact.
2009 was a good year. Sweetie rode 112 miles for LLS Team in Training and we conceived our baby boy. We celebrated birthdays and, most sadly, the loss of a friend. The last few months of the year were a blur of watching and praying and hoping for our new little one. Bug is beyond excited.
With the new year we are now focusing on changing the over stuffed computer room into a wonderful baby boy's room. He will be using Bug's furniture with new bedding and she is getting a new bed and dresser. After all, she does start Kindergarten this year. That is very hard for me to type - I cannot believe she is that big. Side note on her, she knows that baby will be here before her b-day. This translates to starting to plan her b-day party to get to it quicker and get him quicker. It is so cute.
This new year was brought in with a very laid back way. We went to a friend's for New Years eve. I made it to about 11, but ultimately brought in the new year at home with my Bug, Sweetie, Mom, and MIL. New Years Day MIL made us a wonderful dinner. It was perfect. The evening ended in taking down the Christmas tree. This is a tad early for us, but very needed as we are all set to get this boy's room done.
Tomorrow is our 12th wedding anniversary. Since we celebrated our 10 year in Barbados it has been hard to have an anniversary live up to that level. All I want is to spend some time with him.
Here it is, 2010. That date still sounds so futuristic to me. But the biggest thing that this year brings is my due date is in 2010. This means we are going to have our baby boy THIS YEAR - 94 days to be exact.
2009 was a good year. Sweetie rode 112 miles for LLS Team in Training and we conceived our baby boy. We celebrated birthdays and, most sadly, the loss of a friend. The last few months of the year were a blur of watching and praying and hoping for our new little one. Bug is beyond excited.
With the new year we are now focusing on changing the over stuffed computer room into a wonderful baby boy's room. He will be using Bug's furniture with new bedding and she is getting a new bed and dresser. After all, she does start Kindergarten this year. That is very hard for me to type - I cannot believe she is that big. Side note on her, she knows that baby will be here before her b-day. This translates to starting to plan her b-day party to get to it quicker and get him quicker. It is so cute.
This new year was brought in with a very laid back way. We went to a friend's for New Years eve. I made it to about 11, but ultimately brought in the new year at home with my Bug, Sweetie, Mom, and MIL. New Years Day MIL made us a wonderful dinner. It was perfect. The evening ended in taking down the Christmas tree. This is a tad early for us, but very needed as we are all set to get this boy's room done.
Tomorrow is our 12th wedding anniversary. Since we celebrated our 10 year in Barbados it has been hard to have an anniversary live up to that level. All I want is to spend some time with him.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Happy
Things have been crazy in the Tolleson household. Between Christmas, playing, enjoying new floors, and being lazy, our time has slipped away. Christmas was wonderful. Watching Serif through this season has been a magical experience. She is such a neat kid and so very grateful for everything she received.
Last week was my 24 week appointment with my regular ob. I had my glucose test and passed, yay! Then yesterday was my 25 week appointment with my specialist. Baby boy looks good, measuring 5 days ahead of schedule and in the 54 percentile. There is one issue. They noticed a spot on his liver. They are going to watch and see if it progresses with the next appointment. In the meantime I got to go and have a ton of labwork done. Fun. I know he will be ok, I am just a little concerned. I think he picked up on my concern as he has been CRAZY kicking and moving around today. All has to be good.
I said that I wouldn't worry about getting the room ready until the first of the year, yikes it is almost here. In fact 98 days and I will be a 2nd time mommy. I cannot believe it, that sounds so soon to me. There is so much to do, at home and work, but I have to believe it will get done. When we prepared for Bug we started having "home improvement Sundays" and enlisted the help of MIL to come over to get things ready. Hopefully we can do that again. With work I am going to have to sit down with my boss and make out a realistic plan of my workload and my third trimester. Little things like it may be easier for me to work on Saturday mornings than late during the week, and how I am trying to keep stress to a low level. It will all get done, we just need to keep the faith.
Other than those little stressers, I am beyond happy. Sweetie and Bug take the best care of me. I am so lucky to have my little family. Last night I had a headache so I was resting and Bug kept coming by and checking to see if I had a fever and told me to rest. She loves to feel brother kick her. Her eyes light up. I love it. I think she has felt him more than Sweetie at this point. What can I say, he likes his sister. We received some clothes from a teacher at Bug's school and we are getting more from another friend who has a 10 month old. That is going to be the best part, most of the clothing purchased. That way I can focus on the little things for his room.
Last week was my 24 week appointment with my regular ob. I had my glucose test and passed, yay! Then yesterday was my 25 week appointment with my specialist. Baby boy looks good, measuring 5 days ahead of schedule and in the 54 percentile. There is one issue. They noticed a spot on his liver. They are going to watch and see if it progresses with the next appointment. In the meantime I got to go and have a ton of labwork done. Fun. I know he will be ok, I am just a little concerned. I think he picked up on my concern as he has been CRAZY kicking and moving around today. All has to be good.
I said that I wouldn't worry about getting the room ready until the first of the year, yikes it is almost here. In fact 98 days and I will be a 2nd time mommy. I cannot believe it, that sounds so soon to me. There is so much to do, at home and work, but I have to believe it will get done. When we prepared for Bug we started having "home improvement Sundays" and enlisted the help of MIL to come over to get things ready. Hopefully we can do that again. With work I am going to have to sit down with my boss and make out a realistic plan of my workload and my third trimester. Little things like it may be easier for me to work on Saturday mornings than late during the week, and how I am trying to keep stress to a low level. It will all get done, we just need to keep the faith.
Other than those little stressers, I am beyond happy. Sweetie and Bug take the best care of me. I am so lucky to have my little family. Last night I had a headache so I was resting and Bug kept coming by and checking to see if I had a fever and told me to rest. She loves to feel brother kick her. Her eyes light up. I love it. I think she has felt him more than Sweetie at this point. What can I say, he likes his sister. We received some clothes from a teacher at Bug's school and we are getting more from another friend who has a 10 month old. That is going to be the best part, most of the clothing purchased. That way I can focus on the little things for his room.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Quick drop in
I have a few minutes before I head out and thought I would check in. Things are good here. Christmas is in full swing. Baby has me distracted though, so I must push through and get into the spirit of everything. Bug is so big this year, I can really see a difference in her in the last 6 months. It is awesome. She is my little buddy. We are shopping and talking friends. Her and Sweetie, they are the rough housing types.
I went to her school yesterday and saw her dance class. She really likes it. She might even like it more than soccer. No problem there at all, these are things she must decide for herself. I just enjoy watching her make the decisions.
She and I have next week off. Sweetie has to work, but we plan on having some fun. Last minute shopping and decorating are planned as well as so much needed baking. I cannot wait. I think I am more looking forward to the three days with her than with Christmas itself.
We have been on the go so much lately. Tonight my goal is to clean and relax. I know how old that sounds, but it is true. And there you have it, time for me to go and get my precious Bug.
I went to her school yesterday and saw her dance class. She really likes it. She might even like it more than soccer. No problem there at all, these are things she must decide for herself. I just enjoy watching her make the decisions.
She and I have next week off. Sweetie has to work, but we plan on having some fun. Last minute shopping and decorating are planned as well as so much needed baking. I cannot wait. I think I am more looking forward to the three days with her than with Christmas itself.
We have been on the go so much lately. Tonight my goal is to clean and relax. I know how old that sounds, but it is true. And there you have it, time for me to go and get my precious Bug.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Staycation comes to a close
Our staycation is now over. Tomorrow is back to the grind stone. Actually, I am looking forward to it. I had not taken a decent amount of time off since Jan 08 for our second honeymoon. I feel recharged. The last few weeks of the year are going to be crazy, but I can handle it.
The floors look awesome. I am beyond happy with them. The whole living room has come together. I have still been taking my pictures, at least one a day as planned. I simply need to upload them. Pics of the living room will be on there as well. As soon the kitchen and dining room are put back together, I will post pics of those too.
This week has been wonderful. We slept late, stayed up late, watched movies during the day, and ate junk food when we wanted. It felt like Christmas break when I was a kid.
Baby seems to be doing really good. He is kicking away. I love feeling his movement. Bug loves him so much already - it just warms my heart. Sweetie is excited and we have been discussing names and themes. Our plan is to get the house ready for him except his room by the first of the year. Then all we have to worry about with the last trimester is the room.
The floors look awesome. I am beyond happy with them. The whole living room has come together. I have still been taking my pictures, at least one a day as planned. I simply need to upload them. Pics of the living room will be on there as well. As soon the kitchen and dining room are put back together, I will post pics of those too.
This week has been wonderful. We slept late, stayed up late, watched movies during the day, and ate junk food when we wanted. It felt like Christmas break when I was a kid.
Baby seems to be doing really good. He is kicking away. I love feeling his movement. Bug loves him so much already - it just warms my heart. Sweetie is excited and we have been discussing names and themes. Our plan is to get the house ready for him except his room by the first of the year. Then all we have to worry about with the last trimester is the room.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Happy happy happy
Sweetie and I are off this week. We spent the vacation money on our floors, which are done and BEAUTIFUL (pics to come soon)!!! We got the trees up, Bug has her own this year, and they are perfect for us.
Our tree is not big, but it is VERY us. I had a complete adult realization moment - you know where all of the sudden you feel your age and like a responsible adult. With a second child on the way and new flooring feeling like an adult has been pretty constant. However, with the unpacking of ornaments that span over 13 Christmases of our living together really hit me. When we first moved in together our tree was a little smaller and mostly balls with a couple of ornaments showing the happenings of the year. Each year there are less generic balls and more sentimental ornaments. This year the tree is my favorite. We have nothing but ornaments. It simply makes me smile.
This staycation has been wonderful. The three of us are just taking it all in. Shopping, yummy food, Christmas specials, seeing Santa, and many laughs have filled the two days. I just hope it doesn't go too fast. Now if only we can get the computer room cleaned out for baby, I will feel completely productive. Oh and Christmas shopping would be good too. But it will all come in time. I am fighting some anxiety and stress, but that comes with hormones.
I am still taking my 365 photos, I need to update a few, hopefully I will get to that tonight. I also need to clean off the kitchen table of the items placed there during the floor installation.
I hope everyone is having a great holiday season. I am truly enjoying it so far. And on the 12th I get to take Bug to the nutcracker for the first time. YAY!
Our tree is not big, but it is VERY us. I had a complete adult realization moment - you know where all of the sudden you feel your age and like a responsible adult. With a second child on the way and new flooring feeling like an adult has been pretty constant. However, with the unpacking of ornaments that span over 13 Christmases of our living together really hit me. When we first moved in together our tree was a little smaller and mostly balls with a couple of ornaments showing the happenings of the year. Each year there are less generic balls and more sentimental ornaments. This year the tree is my favorite. We have nothing but ornaments. It simply makes me smile.
This staycation has been wonderful. The three of us are just taking it all in. Shopping, yummy food, Christmas specials, seeing Santa, and many laughs have filled the two days. I just hope it doesn't go too fast. Now if only we can get the computer room cleaned out for baby, I will feel completely productive. Oh and Christmas shopping would be good too. But it will all come in time. I am fighting some anxiety and stress, but that comes with hormones.
I am still taking my 365 photos, I need to update a few, hopefully I will get to that tonight. I also need to clean off the kitchen table of the items placed there during the floor installation.
I hope everyone is having a great holiday season. I am truly enjoying it so far. And on the 12th I get to take Bug to the nutcracker for the first time. YAY!
Friday, November 27, 2009
moving slowly but thankful
Currently I am sitting in the middle of heb waiting on Sweetie to return. I am having some pain - nothing scary - so I am moving slowly. I am an emotional wreck this holiday season. Thanksgiving was wonderful. We are getting close to having a name for this little bundle. As with bug, we are not saying names until we are set - we don't want reactions to change our minds.
Today we are decorating the tree. I cannot wait. The house is still in chaos with the flooring and such - but the tree area is clean. I need to upload pics too, I got some great ones of thanksgiving.
Today we are decorating the tree. I cannot wait. The house is still in chaos with the flooring and such - but the tree area is clean. I need to upload pics too, I got some great ones of thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
So much for posting daily
The flooring isn't going as quickly as I planned. We had to unhook the modem on Monday due to moving the desk from the living room - hence no blogging for two days. A ton was accomplished last night. I love love love it.
Today was my 20 week appointment with my regular OB. Sweetie couldn't make it - the first appointment he has missed. But I had Bug so I was set. She laid next to me on the table while they did an ultrasound. He kicked for her and she LOVED it. She really is going to be a great big sister. I cannot wait.
But first we have to change his room into a bedroom. This means taking everything out that is in there. This is going to be a task. Once we do this we will be able to move some of Bug's furniture into Baby's room and get her new items. Since we have baby items we are using this opportunity to get her big girl items that help make her feel special.
Thanksgiving is at SIL's MIL's house again this year. I cannot wait. Bug and I are going to make some food for the fun while Sweetie and MIL do the turkey trot. I just am not up for it this year.
Today I am thankful for a Dr that makes me feel comfortable, taking time from work, and for rainbows.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I will try to get on tomorrow and post my pictures. I have been taking my one a day, just haven't been able to post them.
Today was my 20 week appointment with my regular OB. Sweetie couldn't make it - the first appointment he has missed. But I had Bug so I was set. She laid next to me on the table while they did an ultrasound. He kicked for her and she LOVED it. She really is going to be a great big sister. I cannot wait.
But first we have to change his room into a bedroom. This means taking everything out that is in there. This is going to be a task. Once we do this we will be able to move some of Bug's furniture into Baby's room and get her new items. Since we have baby items we are using this opportunity to get her big girl items that help make her feel special.
Thanksgiving is at SIL's MIL's house again this year. I cannot wait. Bug and I are going to make some food for the fun while Sweetie and MIL do the turkey trot. I just am not up for it this year.
Today I am thankful for a Dr that makes me feel comfortable, taking time from work, and for rainbows.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. I will try to get on tomorrow and post my pictures. I have been taking my one a day, just haven't been able to post them.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
All things good
Today my thanks focus towards my family and home. Sweetie is working on redoing our floors. We have wanted to for years but for one reason or another did not. Well, my Christmas is coming early. With the help of his uncle, Sweetie is installing flooring for us. It makes me so happy. They didn't get as far as expected due to all of the angles in our house, but I am very impressed with the results. Hopefully the remainder will be done this week so I can start Christmas decorating.
I am thankful for a home where I can install flooring. I am thankful for Sweetie and his willingness to give up a weekend to make me happy. And even though I am having such sciatic pain that I almost fell down today, I am even thankful for that. It means that I am lucky enough to experience this wonderful pregnancy. I just have to accept that I will never be the running around with a bump kind of pregnant lady who is running around like nothing is different, lol.
I am in a great place right now. This is very welcome.
I am thankful for a home where I can install flooring. I am thankful for Sweetie and his willingness to give up a weekend to make me happy. And even though I am having such sciatic pain that I almost fell down today, I am even thankful for that. It means that I am lucky enough to experience this wonderful pregnancy. I just have to accept that I will never be the running around with a bump kind of pregnant lady who is running around like nothing is different, lol.
I am in a great place right now. This is very welcome.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Another
I am beyond thankful for my wonderful and awesome husband. He takes the best care of me and our family. I only hope that someday he understands how much he means to me.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thankful
I have been posting daily what I am thankful for on FB. However, here I can go into more detail than a simple status message. I am so very thankful this year. Normally I do a post at Thanksgiving. However, this year, there is so much going on, I feel I need more. My goal is to post one a day until Thanksgiving, with a total of 7 :-)
First, I am thankful for baby beats heart rate monitor. My friend DarkDiva gave me hers when I was pregnant with Bug. I used it twice. We didn't have the fear of a miscarriage as we do with this one. Wednesday night we were cleaning for some upcoming home improvements. I found the monitor. Of course I had to try it. Hearing his heartbeat was wonderful. Of course, this is for "entertainment purposes only" and is not a full medical declaration of health. And, if he moves to another area, the battery on the device is low, or who knows what else, you won't be able to find the heartbeat. I know from the expecting boards that this is common. However, last night when we experienced this, it caused some worry. Please know there were no other signs of anything bad. We took to bed early that night trying to remind ourselves that everything is fine. Sweetie and Bug took turns singing and talking to my belly. Apparently it worked, as I was getting ready for sleep, I felt him kick. Nothing strong yet, but movement nevertheless. I left work a little early today and stopped by CVS for a new battery and much needed Reece's peanut butter trees (but that is another story about how by the time I got home two were gone). I came home and with the new battery looked for his wonderful life beat again. Sure enough I found it. I am so happy to hear him. I am so lucky to have nearly twice as many appointments as I did with Bug. I have had 7 ultrasounds. My next dr appointment is Wednesday. But this reassurance is very much appreciated.
First, I am thankful for baby beats heart rate monitor. My friend DarkDiva gave me hers when I was pregnant with Bug. I used it twice. We didn't have the fear of a miscarriage as we do with this one. Wednesday night we were cleaning for some upcoming home improvements. I found the monitor. Of course I had to try it. Hearing his heartbeat was wonderful. Of course, this is for "entertainment purposes only" and is not a full medical declaration of health. And, if he moves to another area, the battery on the device is low, or who knows what else, you won't be able to find the heartbeat. I know from the expecting boards that this is common. However, last night when we experienced this, it caused some worry. Please know there were no other signs of anything bad. We took to bed early that night trying to remind ourselves that everything is fine. Sweetie and Bug took turns singing and talking to my belly. Apparently it worked, as I was getting ready for sleep, I felt him kick. Nothing strong yet, but movement nevertheless. I left work a little early today and stopped by CVS for a new battery and much needed Reece's peanut butter trees (but that is another story about how by the time I got home two were gone). I came home and with the new battery looked for his wonderful life beat again. Sure enough I found it. I am so happy to hear him. I am so lucky to have nearly twice as many appointments as I did with Bug. I have had 7 ultrasounds. My next dr appointment is Wednesday. But this reassurance is very much appreciated.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Day 6
Shopping Day! Today was a great one. Even though I had to go a little slower - thanks to my sciatic nerve. Nevertheless, we accomplished a lot and had fun chatting.
Now I am tired, but happy.
If you want to see days 2-5, click on the photo to go to my photostream.
Now I am tired, but happy.
If you want to see days 2-5, click on the photo to go to my photostream.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Day 1
I am attempting the 365 challenge once again. Fun fun. I uploaded the first 5 days. My goal is to document my 34th year. Day one began with my 33rd b-day.
This was a present from Sweetie and Bug. I asked for a tree as it symbolizes our growing family.
This was a present from Sweetie and Bug. I asked for a tree as it symbolizes our growing family.
Monday, November 09, 2009
18 weeks and going strong
Today was the big anatomy ultrasound for 18 weeks. Everything looks good. I am so happy. His heart rate is at 160 and strong. This time he did some beautiful kicks for us. And, yes, they confirmed he is a boy. While the last appointment said he was as well as the 3D scan – I was still concerned that after getting Bug on board with a boy that he would turn out to be a girl, lol. Luckily, that was not the case. The Dr said he is a “fat boy” due to his weight being 6% higher than the average at this age. He had no concerns at all and said he looks very healthy. He declared my pregnancy on cruise control and for me to continue as planned. This makes me very happy. Next step? Next week I get my thyroid tested and see my Endo.
This weekend was wonderful. While Bug and I did not feel well on Saturday morning, we were feeling better come evening. We hung out with BestFriend for a little bit and watched Bug sing on a microphone for the first time.
Yesterday was even more fun. We were feeling better so we headed out for our normal chores. As we were driving past the mall we noticed a big top. Sure enough a small circus was in town. We decided spontaneity is the key to life and bought tickets. Really, Sweetie was the one who insisted we do it right then. He loves nothing more in this world than to make her smile. This was Bug’s first circus and she loved it. The elephants and clowns were her favorite. She enjoyed cotton candy, popcorn, and face painting. It was pouring when we arrived, without an umbrella, of course. By the time we left and made it through the mud, we were a little chilly. The solution was hot chocolate. Bug was very serious through the whole event. It wasn’t until we left and she began chatting away about the fun that we knew she had a blast. When I was dropping her off at school this morning she was telling all her friends and it made me smile so big.
I can already tell that this Christmas is going to be awesome. She is so big. I know we originally wanted our kids closer in age. But this is so perfect for us. She is talking about brother a ton. She offers up her baby things for him to use, is deciding what she wants to teach him, and already naming him. Right now it is Mo – from the WallE.
This weekend was wonderful. While Bug and I did not feel well on Saturday morning, we were feeling better come evening. We hung out with BestFriend for a little bit and watched Bug sing on a microphone for the first time.
Yesterday was even more fun. We were feeling better so we headed out for our normal chores. As we were driving past the mall we noticed a big top. Sure enough a small circus was in town. We decided spontaneity is the key to life and bought tickets. Really, Sweetie was the one who insisted we do it right then. He loves nothing more in this world than to make her smile. This was Bug’s first circus and she loved it. The elephants and clowns were her favorite. She enjoyed cotton candy, popcorn, and face painting. It was pouring when we arrived, without an umbrella, of course. By the time we left and made it through the mud, we were a little chilly. The solution was hot chocolate. Bug was very serious through the whole event. It wasn’t until we left and she began chatting away about the fun that we knew she had a blast. When I was dropping her off at school this morning she was telling all her friends and it made me smile so big.
I can already tell that this Christmas is going to be awesome. She is so big. I know we originally wanted our kids closer in age. But this is so perfect for us. She is talking about brother a ton. She offers up her baby things for him to use, is deciding what she wants to teach him, and already naming him. Right now it is Mo – from the WallE.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Happy
I am happy. Things are progressing in the organizing department. Work is crazy busy, but I have a plan. Due to system changes and the audit, I am very behind. Don't get me wrong, I am not being given a hard time over it or anything - I just know what needs to be done.
We have our next appointment on Monday. This is the anatomy scan. I cannot wait to see little cricket again.
Next week is also my birthday. YAY. I don't know what it is, but I am so very happy about this one. Nothing major planned, just dinner with family. But truly that is all I need.
We have our next appointment on Monday. This is the anatomy scan. I cannot wait to see little cricket again.
Next week is also my birthday. YAY. I don't know what it is, but I am so very happy about this one. Nothing major planned, just dinner with family. But truly that is all I need.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
just some girl time
Sweetie is hanging out with MIL so it is just me and Bug. We are enjoying some noodles and grapes - we are very simple at times :-) We planned on some baking tonight, but that will depend on Bug. If she isn't in the mood, no big deal. The goal is to relax.
I cannot even express how happy I am to be past the nausea. While I am still suffering some fatigue, being able to eat and drink again is pure bliss. That doesn't mean that I am functioning at full force, sciatic nerve pain has already started and I tire very easily.
Things are a little stressed, but we will survive, as we always do. I have faith that what is meant to be will happen. The main thing is that I want Sweetie happy. He deserves it.
In other news, I am so excited about tomorrow. Bug and I will both be witches. We are going to SIL's again and plan to have a grand time. I hope to get pics uploaded this weekend of the fun.
I cannot even express how happy I am to be past the nausea. While I am still suffering some fatigue, being able to eat and drink again is pure bliss. That doesn't mean that I am functioning at full force, sciatic nerve pain has already started and I tire very easily.
Things are a little stressed, but we will survive, as we always do. I have faith that what is meant to be will happen. The main thing is that I want Sweetie happy. He deserves it.
In other news, I am so excited about tomorrow. Bug and I will both be witches. We are going to SIL's again and plan to have a grand time. I hope to get pics uploaded this weekend of the fun.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
16 week appointment
We went to my 16 week appointment today. They did an unexpected sonogram to see if they could see sex. The first half the NP thought girl, then the baby rolled over and showed more. She declared that she thinks it is a boy, but nothing certain and that I would find out in 2 weeks at my anatomy scan. Bug heard her say boy and started crying saying that it was a girl. The crying wasn't in a fit sort of way, but very sad. She had Sweetie pick her up and she cried into his shoulder. He, understandably, just wanted to be able to say that it was a girl.
The not knowing for sure killed me. I called the 3/4d ultrasound place a friend went to. I figured if I couldn't get an appointment in before my anatomy scan on the 9th, it wasn't meant to be. Well, they got me in before the 9th. In fact, they got me in today. It was awesome. A sonogram without stress or worry - YAY. Baby was lying just like me with his arms behind his head. This is funny as there is a picture of Bug as a new born with both of our arms behind our head as we slept.
She confirmed what I heard that morning. She stated that she was 99.8% sure that it is a BOY! Yay. We were sure that Bug was a boy. When we found out the sex we were so thrown we took the remainder of the day off. This time we thought it was a girl and once again got thrown off. Goes to show, we don't know much - lol. We are thrilled and happy and excited. Honestly, I am just over the top after seeing strong legs, beating heart, and knowing the sex. I feel like yet another layer of the scared coat that I have been wearing was lifted. I feel like I can shop now, and bond fully with my son.
No worries about Bug. By the time we got home, she was good with the whole baby brother concept.
The not knowing for sure killed me. I called the 3/4d ultrasound place a friend went to. I figured if I couldn't get an appointment in before my anatomy scan on the 9th, it wasn't meant to be. Well, they got me in before the 9th. In fact, they got me in today. It was awesome. A sonogram without stress or worry - YAY. Baby was lying just like me with his arms behind his head. This is funny as there is a picture of Bug as a new born with both of our arms behind our head as we slept.
She confirmed what I heard that morning. She stated that she was 99.8% sure that it is a BOY! Yay. We were sure that Bug was a boy. When we found out the sex we were so thrown we took the remainder of the day off. This time we thought it was a girl and once again got thrown off. Goes to show, we don't know much - lol. We are thrilled and happy and excited. Honestly, I am just over the top after seeing strong legs, beating heart, and knowing the sex. I feel like yet another layer of the scared coat that I have been wearing was lifted. I feel like I can shop now, and bond fully with my son.
No worries about Bug. By the time we got home, she was good with the whole baby brother concept.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Happy
Life is good. No cramping all weekend. I had a great time with my friends on Saturday night. Plus my Brother is back from Alaska. I missed him so much and am so happy he is back.
I smiled a lot this weekend. Sweetie was the source of much of it. He made sure I had fun and laughed while also resting. I have to say, there is nothing that makes me happier than watching him be a father. He walks on his hands, dances silly, and carries her around just to hear her laugh. Yes, I am in a hormonal/emotional state. I am simply feeling much love for my family :-)
Next appointment is Tuesday. I will let everyone know how it goes.
I smiled a lot this weekend. Sweetie was the source of much of it. He made sure I had fun and laughed while also resting. I have to say, there is nothing that makes me happier than watching him be a father. He walks on his hands, dances silly, and carries her around just to hear her laugh. Yes, I am in a hormonal/emotional state. I am simply feeling much love for my family :-)
Next appointment is Tuesday. I will let everyone know how it goes.
Friday, October 23, 2009
time to chill
So nothing major to report. But I have been having some minor cramping. I told Sweetie that I thought it was due to me needing to drink more water. I called the nurse today and they had me do a urine test to rule out bladder infection. Good news, it came back clean. The nurse instructed me to rest some this weekend and make sure to up my fluid intake. Sounds good to me.
We have a crazy weekend planned, but not too much. We have soccer in the morning, a baby shower to attend for an ex-teacher of Bug's, and then back to Gumbos to listen to BestFriend's boyfriend. Sitting, eating good food, and listening to wonderful music - that is my kind of rest.
We have a crazy weekend planned, but not too much. We have soccer in the morning, a baby shower to attend for an ex-teacher of Bug's, and then back to Gumbos to listen to BestFriend's boyfriend. Sitting, eating good food, and listening to wonderful music - that is my kind of rest.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
frustration
I may be the same weight I was when I got pregnant with Bug, but things are very different this time. I am sick just like with her. But I am having the back pain, lack of sleep, and utter exhaustion after standing much earlier. Please do not take this as complaining about my situation.
Sink is still clean, been doing a little housework every night (trying not to focus on what still needs to be done), and trying to listen to my body and rest when needed. Sweetie is amazing and has been cooking and cleaning for me. He is very protective of me and I have to admit that I love it. If I mention any cramping or exhaustion he sends me to rest. My next Dr appt is on Tuesday.
I just need to get past the frustration. I can only do what I can do. I am different from everyone else and need to accept that. My dry eyes have been very bad this week. That is something I look forward to after having my baby - being able to treat my disease. Since we were trying they would not prescribe anything worthwhile. In many ways I feel like I have been pregnant for well over a year. After the miscarriage we knew that we would be trying again with the first of the year. This meant nothing crazy medicine or diet wise.
OK enough complaining. I am happy - I just need a good night sleep :-)
Sink is still clean, been doing a little housework every night (trying not to focus on what still needs to be done), and trying to listen to my body and rest when needed. Sweetie is amazing and has been cooking and cleaning for me. He is very protective of me and I have to admit that I love it. If I mention any cramping or exhaustion he sends me to rest. My next Dr appt is on Tuesday.
I just need to get past the frustration. I can only do what I can do. I am different from everyone else and need to accept that. My dry eyes have been very bad this week. That is something I look forward to after having my baby - being able to treat my disease. Since we were trying they would not prescribe anything worthwhile. In many ways I feel like I have been pregnant for well over a year. After the miscarriage we knew that we would be trying again with the first of the year. This meant nothing crazy medicine or diet wise.
OK enough complaining. I am happy - I just need a good night sleep :-)
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
while my reports run
I think I am going to hop over here and work on some more me time. It does help to write things out.
I am doing better. So far the sink has been clean for two days - this is the first step with Flylady. And last night I did my 15 minutes of laundry. Not much, but a huge start. Tonight is more of the same. However, we are attacking our living/dining/kitchen area. We need a new fridge and in order for that to happen, some organization needs to occur.
A new fitness challenge starts this week. I am hoping to complete this one. No worries, all easy going exercise for me.
OK funny story. Bug and I were having a bit of a disagreement about show and tell and getting ready for school. On the way she said "mom, we are fighting". I couldn't say anything but "yes, honey I think we are." She is getting big. The most wonderful and frustrating part is that she understands so much now. She is so excited for baby - aka Cricket. She wants her (no sex determined yet, Bug just claims she is a girl) to come out now and play. We were discussing Christmas and I told her that I want to do a ton of crafts and baking as I want this Christmas very special for her. She asked me why, and not in a "saying it to hear myself say it" way but in an honest question. I explain that next Christmas is going to be very special with a new babybrothersister, but that this is her last Christmas with just her. I just love her so much. She is my awesome little friend.
Speaking of which, I need to go and get her.
I am doing better. So far the sink has been clean for two days - this is the first step with Flylady. And last night I did my 15 minutes of laundry. Not much, but a huge start. Tonight is more of the same. However, we are attacking our living/dining/kitchen area. We need a new fridge and in order for that to happen, some organization needs to occur.
A new fitness challenge starts this week. I am hoping to complete this one. No worries, all easy going exercise for me.
OK funny story. Bug and I were having a bit of a disagreement about show and tell and getting ready for school. On the way she said "mom, we are fighting". I couldn't say anything but "yes, honey I think we are." She is getting big. The most wonderful and frustrating part is that she understands so much now. She is so excited for baby - aka Cricket. She wants her (no sex determined yet, Bug just claims she is a girl) to come out now and play. We were discussing Christmas and I told her that I want to do a ton of crafts and baking as I want this Christmas very special for her. She asked me why, and not in a "saying it to hear myself say it" way but in an honest question. I explain that next Christmas is going to be very special with a new babybrothersister, but that this is her last Christmas with just her. I just love her so much. She is my awesome little friend.
Speaking of which, I need to go and get her.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
me and my brain
I am overwhelmed. It is true. I worry about being able to juggle two kiddos, keep the house clean, keep up at work, and all other things that go along with where I am in my pregnancy. That and even with the 12 week appointment past us, I am still so scared of a loss. And honestly, the last things I want to hear are "it will work out" or "you can do it".
The bottom line is that since the miscarriage we have let our house go. It became very obvious to me today as I looked around and took in the status. I tried to show a brave face, hell I even convinced myself, but the loss got to me greatly. We let the house go, stopped inviting people over because of it, hung out with others less, and clung to each other as we healed. There is good and bad to this situation. I feel we are stronger for it but also feel disconnected from some friends. We have become bad about waiting for the invitations from others but not extending our own. I plan to change this.
I had a weepy day today. I cried and had to really think about things and a plan. We spent the day at a b-day party and then a nap. I refuse to beat myself up for not cleaning when that was such a great nap :-) So what I did was get a load of laundry going and completed FlyLady day one and I shined my sink. It is beautiful. It is a start.
The bottom line is that since the miscarriage we have let our house go. It became very obvious to me today as I looked around and took in the status. I tried to show a brave face, hell I even convinced myself, but the loss got to me greatly. We let the house go, stopped inviting people over because of it, hung out with others less, and clung to each other as we healed. There is good and bad to this situation. I feel we are stronger for it but also feel disconnected from some friends. We have become bad about waiting for the invitations from others but not extending our own. I plan to change this.
I had a weepy day today. I cried and had to really think about things and a plan. We spent the day at a b-day party and then a nap. I refuse to beat myself up for not cleaning when that was such a great nap :-) So what I did was get a load of laundry going and completed FlyLady day one and I shined my sink. It is beautiful. It is a start.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
pregnant brain and yay
First, let's do the yay. Today we sent in the tax return I have been working on and that the audit was all about, yay. Big relief.
And yes, the pregnant brain has started. It is real, and seriously frustrating. I made three errors at work today. Two were caught beforehand and one not. UGH. Nothing horrible, but still frustrates me.
Once again, I rejoined flylady. I first found flylady back in 1999. I believe it is a very good program, yet I have to admit I have never done the work. This time I am hoping it is different. I have the 30 day baby step program all ready. We are starting it tomorrow. Wish us luck. My goal is to get organized before baby comes. I know my world will be in chaos then, even if the house is a fine oiled machine.
As far as the pregnancy goes, things are going smoothly. I got sick twice today and had to miss a happy hour due to feeling like crap, but overall that is improving. But the worst thing is sleeping. I know this is only going to get worse. My hip hurts and it is very hard not to sleep on my back. I want to try yoga more often to see if it will help. Sweetie is getting the workout area all ready for me this weekend.
And I do have to brag on Sweetie. Yesterday I told him that I was craving chicken and dumplings, just a side comment. When he arrived home he had two bags of groceries. He found a recipe online and bought everything to make a healthy version for me. It was yummy. The best part was living the full princess pregnancy lifestyle and lying on the couch while he did all the cooking.
Now I am going to attempt this whole sleep thing again. Wish me luck.
And yes, the pregnant brain has started. It is real, and seriously frustrating. I made three errors at work today. Two were caught beforehand and one not. UGH. Nothing horrible, but still frustrates me.
Once again, I rejoined flylady. I first found flylady back in 1999. I believe it is a very good program, yet I have to admit I have never done the work. This time I am hoping it is different. I have the 30 day baby step program all ready. We are starting it tomorrow. Wish us luck. My goal is to get organized before baby comes. I know my world will be in chaos then, even if the house is a fine oiled machine.
As far as the pregnancy goes, things are going smoothly. I got sick twice today and had to miss a happy hour due to feeling like crap, but overall that is improving. But the worst thing is sleeping. I know this is only going to get worse. My hip hurts and it is very hard not to sleep on my back. I want to try yoga more often to see if it will help. Sweetie is getting the workout area all ready for me this weekend.
And I do have to brag on Sweetie. Yesterday I told him that I was craving chicken and dumplings, just a side comment. When he arrived home he had two bags of groceries. He found a recipe online and bought everything to make a healthy version for me. It was yummy. The best part was living the full princess pregnancy lifestyle and lying on the couch while he did all the cooking.
Now I am going to attempt this whole sleep thing again. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
down but not out
We went camping for Ren Faire this past weekend. It was a lot of fun. It was cool and damp and perfect. Unfortunately, Bug did get a cough and low grade fever. No worries, she can go back tomorrow.
I am happy to report that the last two days I woke up without any nausea. I think this means I am getting to the second trimester happy stage. The true test will be if I have the energy to clean tonight.
I am happy to report that the last two days I woke up without any nausea. I think this means I am getting to the second trimester happy stage. The true test will be if I have the energy to clean tonight.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
need some good vibes
Most of Bug's friends have come down with the flu this week and last. So far we have been lucky. But today, today when we got home Bug requested we go straight to my bed, snuggle and watch TV. I hope it is just her wanting to take care of me. We have a big weekend planned and I don't want her to have to miss it.
Tonight we focus on resting, hydrating, vitamin C, and a good dinner. I hope it helps. The good news is that her mood is wonderful. Currently she is putting smiley faces all over me.
Tonight we focus on resting, hydrating, vitamin C, and a good dinner. I hope it helps. The good news is that her mood is wonderful. Currently she is putting smiley faces all over me.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
great evening
Sweetie had softball tonight. This left a girls' evening for me and Bug. We did it up right. We started with some dinner at subway and finished with shopping at Target. She is just so much fun. We bought snack items for an upcoming outing and some fun items. The best part was when I was looking at the sports bras (those who know my daughter should just start sighing now, esp if you remember the "tiger boobies" incident). She managed to put on a sports bra by herself. It was huge, as it should be, but it was just so funny. I, of course, found myself standing there without camera or cell phone. Throughout the trip she kept telling me to stop and showing me how silly she can be.
I know our life is going to change in some major ways in less than 6 months. I hope my girl remains as silly as she is now. She says she is excited about the baby. I know she doesn't understand what it means fully. All we can do it try and prepare her as much as possible. In so many ways having a 5 year difference will be nice.
I know our life is going to change in some major ways in less than 6 months. I hope my girl remains as silly as she is now. She says she is excited about the baby. I know she doesn't understand what it means fully. All we can do it try and prepare her as much as possible. In so many ways having a 5 year difference will be nice.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Happy
Today was a rough and frustrating day. This morning started with a sweet girl who wanted a few more hugs. Then I got to work. It was a frustrating day. This is the last week before the tax return that I have been working on needs to be done. I knew I would have to work late. Sweetie is awesome, he took Serif tonight to see friends as I wouldn't make it. Working late isn't a problem, it doesn't cause stress in and of itself. But combine it with an auditor asking tons of questions and a computer that kept having major issues and I end up cranky. I left work after 7 completely shot. If I could drink, I would have enjoyed a glass, or bottle of wine.
I got home before Sweetie and Bug. Do you know what I did? I went for a walk. Nothing major. I am just getting back into it. I finally feel far enough along to start moving, yay second trimester. The plan I am following starts with 15 minutes. And I have to say, that 15 minutes felt wonderful. I cannot wait to do it again. Now I am sipping some soup, enjoying some t.v. and the remaining silence in the house.
I got home before Sweetie and Bug. Do you know what I did? I went for a walk. Nothing major. I am just getting back into it. I finally feel far enough along to start moving, yay second trimester. The plan I am following starts with 15 minutes. And I have to say, that 15 minutes felt wonderful. I cannot wait to do it again. Now I am sipping some soup, enjoying some t.v. and the remaining silence in the house.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Happy 2nd Trimester
Today, I begin my 14th week and my second trimester. This makes me beyond happy. Hormones are strong. We were at Target, surprise surprise, and I as I looked through the baby isle I found myself browsing and tearing up. I am getting so very excited.
Goal for this month - laundry in order. Not worn in a year, packed or given away. I must make this short, more lists to make.
Goal for this month - laundry in order. Not worn in a year, packed or given away. I must make this short, more lists to make.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
dry day
I am having a dry day. My eyes are dry, my skin is dry, and I am tired. Not fair. I am not here to complain, but I sure will be happy when second trimester happiness sets in.
I am just antsy today. I don't want to sit still and concentrate. I am making lists in my head about what I can get done and when. There is absolutely so much to do before April. I am trying to focus on the FlyLady idea of baby steps. And not to sound like I am making excuses, but it will be nice when we know the sex. Then I can start really going through what we have and what we need.
Last night was celebration for both BIL and Niece's b-days. It was fun although the service sucked (not eating at Dave and Busters again) and I got sick. Nothing like eating a meal you have to pay for only to lose it. Sucks. But I didn't let it get to me. Well, that isn't true, I was exhausted.
I am hoping that I will feel up to getting some of the items on my to-do list done.
I am just antsy today. I don't want to sit still and concentrate. I am making lists in my head about what I can get done and when. There is absolutely so much to do before April. I am trying to focus on the FlyLady idea of baby steps. And not to sound like I am making excuses, but it will be nice when we know the sex. Then I can start really going through what we have and what we need.
Last night was celebration for both BIL and Niece's b-days. It was fun although the service sucked (not eating at Dave and Busters again) and I got sick. Nothing like eating a meal you have to pay for only to lose it. Sucks. But I didn't let it get to me. Well, that isn't true, I was exhausted.
I am hoping that I will feel up to getting some of the items on my to-do list done.
Monday, September 28, 2009
collective exhale
Let's all together exhale, ready on one...two...three ahhhhhhhhhh!
Appointment was great. Sonogram was wonderful. Baby was facing my back and sleeping. Then it turned to look down and started doing crunches, it was so cute. The tech did say that when we go back for our anatomy sonogram tell baby not to be like that or we will not find out the sex. We go back on 11/9/09 to hopefully find out. That is my birthday week, so I am hoping to buy something pink or blue for my b-day.
I have my regular OB appointment on Wednesday. Bug is going to take me. She asked if the dr was going to get the baby out - since I am c-section I have explained that the dr does it. I told her we have to wait. I think she is disappointed. She wanted baby to be a witch with us for Halloween. 9 months is a long time for a 4 year old.
I am feeling much better than this weekend. I have a little cough, but nothing bad. I am just so beyond happy. I was so scared. I had no symptoms or issues like I did last time. But the fear was there. I didn't fully understand it until after the appointment and I found myself in tears while I was driving. Happy and wonderful tears. You could see the relief on Sweetie's face too.
I just had to get on and spread the happy report.
Appointment was great. Sonogram was wonderful. Baby was facing my back and sleeping. Then it turned to look down and started doing crunches, it was so cute. The tech did say that when we go back for our anatomy sonogram tell baby not to be like that or we will not find out the sex. We go back on 11/9/09 to hopefully find out. That is my birthday week, so I am hoping to buy something pink or blue for my b-day.
I have my regular OB appointment on Wednesday. Bug is going to take me. She asked if the dr was going to get the baby out - since I am c-section I have explained that the dr does it. I told her we have to wait. I think she is disappointed. She wanted baby to be a witch with us for Halloween. 9 months is a long time for a 4 year old.
I am feeling much better than this weekend. I have a little cough, but nothing bad. I am just so beyond happy. I was so scared. I had no symptoms or issues like I did last time. But the fear was there. I didn't fully understand it until after the appointment and I found myself in tears while I was driving. Happy and wonderful tears. You could see the relief on Sweetie's face too.
I just had to get on and spread the happy report.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Thoughts of the Day
- My ear feels odd, sucks, hope it isn't an infection
- Sweetie's desk is solved
- Chef Boyardee is very yummy
- I think I may get lost in the piles of laundry
- I am feeling better than earlier today - so that is progress
- I am hoping that after the appointment tomorrow, and all goes well, that I will feel up to starting back with my walking this week
Saturday, September 26, 2009
music for my soul
Today was busy as planned. Bug decided to be a witch for Halloween. Correction, she decided we both will be witches. Soccer was awesome today. Last night Bug was doing great during practice and it showed with the game. She kicked that ball several times - yay. They don't keep score so it is no win or lose, though if you ask Sweetie he will tell you the score. But it all about the fun. I just want to help her learn healthy habits of exercise and confidence. It seems to be working, even after only a little over a week that included 3 games.
Tonight was awesome. We picked up my Godmother and headed to Gumbos. BestFriend's boyfriend sounded amazing, as always. The conversation was fun, the food was yummy, and Bug was better than I even expected. Three hours at an adult restaurant is not the most fun. Luckily, she had BestFriend and Godmother to keep her happy. And it was so good for me. I needed to get out. Even if it ended with me tossing my cookies in the ladies room.
My nose is stuffed up, I am sneezing a ton, and my nausea is kicking my butt. It is all good. I plan to rest up tomorrow.
Tonight was awesome. We picked up my Godmother and headed to Gumbos. BestFriend's boyfriend sounded amazing, as always. The conversation was fun, the food was yummy, and Bug was better than I even expected. Three hours at an adult restaurant is not the most fun. Luckily, she had BestFriend and Godmother to keep her happy. And it was so good for me. I needed to get out. Even if it ended with me tossing my cookies in the ladies room.
My nose is stuffed up, I am sneezing a ton, and my nausea is kicking my butt. It is all good. I plan to rest up tomorrow.
Friday, September 25, 2009
chililng
Sweetie took Bug to soccer practice. He is so good to me. I just finished an uneventful nap and now I am trying to get something in my tummy before I have to run very quickly to the potty. My lunch was not the best for baby, apparently. I would have thought chicken and pasta - wait stop right there, can't think about it.To top it off, I have a sore throat and stuffy nose. No fever or anything so I think it is just the results of going from a high of 95 on Monday to a high of 58 on Tuesday.
In other news, today I completed a big part of the audit that we are working on. Now we have two weeks to finish it. Then work will be busy and crazy, but on my own terms.
We have our 12 week sonogram on Monday - the appointment that I have been living for. The only issue is that I didn't receive a call reminding me the time. I hope that doesn't mean that they forgot about me or that I slipped off the schedule. I will stay positive, but they will be receiving a call first thing Monday morning.
This weekend is going to be exciting. Tonight, well...isn't, but tomorrow is soccer, Niece's 13th b-day party, and then BestFriend's boyfriend is singing in his first paying gig. We are so proud and cannot wait to spend the evening listening to his wonderful voice.
The nesting is kicking in. The only problem is that I am still nauseous and exhausted. The result? I end up bitchy. But the first step is admitting you have a problem, correct? So I am working on lists, lots and lots of lists.
OK family is home, I am off to spend time with them.
In other news, today I completed a big part of the audit that we are working on. Now we have two weeks to finish it. Then work will be busy and crazy, but on my own terms.
We have our 12 week sonogram on Monday - the appointment that I have been living for. The only issue is that I didn't receive a call reminding me the time. I hope that doesn't mean that they forgot about me or that I slipped off the schedule. I will stay positive, but they will be receiving a call first thing Monday morning.
This weekend is going to be exciting. Tonight, well...isn't, but tomorrow is soccer, Niece's 13th b-day party, and then BestFriend's boyfriend is singing in his first paying gig. We are so proud and cannot wait to spend the evening listening to his wonderful voice.
The nesting is kicking in. The only problem is that I am still nauseous and exhausted. The result? I end up bitchy. But the first step is admitting you have a problem, correct? So I am working on lists, lots and lots of lists.
OK family is home, I am off to spend time with them.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
nervous
I am feeling good. Much better than Monday. I had to stay home due to the worst morning sickness combined with a migraine. Sweetie brought me lunch that day and it made everything so much better.
Last night we went to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. It was so good. We laughed all the way through it. We saw the 3-d version and Bug loved it. All in all, last night was a great distraction.
I am at the point in my pregnancy where I was last year when I found out we lost the baby. That has me on edge. While I feel so different this time, I still fear going in on Monday and hearing the horrible news I heard last time. To cope with it, I am trying to distract myself. I check my symptoms often (to make sure I still feel pregnant) and keep praying. I know I have been distant with my friends, and I hope they understand.
The other new exciting aspect of our life is reorganizing the house. We need to clear out one room in order for this baby to have a place to sleep. We refuse to try to sell our house when the market is so bad. Plus, while our house is small - it is also a low mortgage. I don't want to give that up while I have two daycare payment for a couple of months next year. I see us moving in the next 2 years or so. In the mean time, reduce, recycle, organize. We are on a mission to get rid of the things we don't use. Plus, we see it as a challenge.
And I have to hand it to Sweetie. He is awesome. If I even mention - what if we did this - he is trying to figure it out and make it happen. He even told me that he likes my hormones and mood swings. He said it tells him that everything is going smoothly.
Oh and Bug's soccer is going so well. I love the T&C community. She may not be the best on the team, but she is enjoying it and it is building her confidence. I posted pics to facebook, need to remember to post some here.
Last night we went to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. It was so good. We laughed all the way through it. We saw the 3-d version and Bug loved it. All in all, last night was a great distraction.
I am at the point in my pregnancy where I was last year when I found out we lost the baby. That has me on edge. While I feel so different this time, I still fear going in on Monday and hearing the horrible news I heard last time. To cope with it, I am trying to distract myself. I check my symptoms often (to make sure I still feel pregnant) and keep praying. I know I have been distant with my friends, and I hope they understand.
The other new exciting aspect of our life is reorganizing the house. We need to clear out one room in order for this baby to have a place to sleep. We refuse to try to sell our house when the market is so bad. Plus, while our house is small - it is also a low mortgage. I don't want to give that up while I have two daycare payment for a couple of months next year. I see us moving in the next 2 years or so. In the mean time, reduce, recycle, organize. We are on a mission to get rid of the things we don't use. Plus, we see it as a challenge.
And I have to hand it to Sweetie. He is awesome. If I even mention - what if we did this - he is trying to figure it out and make it happen. He even told me that he likes my hormones and mood swings. He said it tells him that everything is going smoothly.
Oh and Bug's soccer is going so well. I love the T&C community. She may not be the best on the team, but she is enjoying it and it is building her confidence. I posted pics to facebook, need to remember to post some here.
Friday, September 18, 2009
5 years
5 years ago today, my world changed forever. The life that I had, would never be the same. This is the day we conceived my daughter. This is a very happy anniversary. We aren't the type of couple to celebrate everything. But the life altering items are important to us. The ones that remind us of what makes us us, and make us look back and see just how far we have come, like looking down from a mountain, baby.
I look back and so much has changed. We have matured, relaxed a lot, changed our focus, and changed jobs several times, lol. Sometimes, it is just nice to look back and smile. Everything that happened in my life led me to this place. This place with my loving husband, beautiful daughter, one on the way, and awesome family. Because of that, I would not change a thing. I have had friends come and go. Even ones that were crappy - I don't hold any anger towards. All is forgiven. I mean, in the whole scheme of things, what does it matter?
Our plans for the weekend are busy. Soccer meet up, two games, and much needed housework. I am hoping that my nausea stays at bay and that I am able to accomplish what I need to. But for now, I am just going to sit here in the silence and enjoy thinking about my family.
I look back and so much has changed. We have matured, relaxed a lot, changed our focus, and changed jobs several times, lol. Sometimes, it is just nice to look back and smile. Everything that happened in my life led me to this place. This place with my loving husband, beautiful daughter, one on the way, and awesome family. Because of that, I would not change a thing. I have had friends come and go. Even ones that were crappy - I don't hold any anger towards. All is forgiven. I mean, in the whole scheme of things, what does it matter?
Our plans for the weekend are busy. Soccer meet up, two games, and much needed housework. I am hoping that my nausea stays at bay and that I am able to accomplish what I need to. But for now, I am just going to sit here in the silence and enjoy thinking about my family.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tears, clouds, and beans
Tonight was Bug's first soccer practice. This is a six week "course" on skills. She was the youngest one there and didn't like playing with the older kids. After some tears, Sweetie and Bug went to the side and did their own thing. He had her doing the same drills the others were doing. She loved it. So now the goal is to get her confident enough to do it with the other kids. She meets her team on Friday and that should be good as the kids are her age.
The weather was so beautiful. Blue skies with big clouds and nice cool breeze. Afterward, we went to dinner where Bug ate her favorite - beans with some rice. Yummy. I think it was a very successful evening. Well, except for the bit of attitude I am encountering now, but that is par for the course - wait 5 minutes and her mood will be good again.
I am doing good. Work is getting a little stressed. We have one month to do a ton of work. But that is ok. My back is hurting as well as my hands along with my eyes being very dry again. This is the fun of my sjogrens. My specialist OB told me that people with lupus feel better with pregnancy, but with sjogrens - you just don't know. Great. Not complaining, though. I will endure all the pain I can if it means holding another little one.
13 days until the next appt. This is the one I am most anxious about. Maybe it is good that work is so busy with audit.
The weather was so beautiful. Blue skies with big clouds and nice cool breeze. Afterward, we went to dinner where Bug ate her favorite - beans with some rice. Yummy. I think it was a very successful evening. Well, except for the bit of attitude I am encountering now, but that is par for the course - wait 5 minutes and her mood will be good again.
I am doing good. Work is getting a little stressed. We have one month to do a ton of work. But that is ok. My back is hurting as well as my hands along with my eyes being very dry again. This is the fun of my sjogrens. My specialist OB told me that people with lupus feel better with pregnancy, but with sjogrens - you just don't know. Great. Not complaining, though. I will endure all the pain I can if it means holding another little one.
13 days until the next appt. This is the one I am most anxious about. Maybe it is good that work is so busy with audit.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
No soccer yet
Due to a two day down pour that was more than needed, Bug's soccer game was canceled. That is ok, we didn't even get out of the 70s. It was awesome. We had a great day nevertheless. We shot some video for The Spot Finder, enjoyed driving in crazy ass rain - ok maybe enjoyed is a large stretch. And did some fun shopping. We got soaked after lunch and we even had our umbrella. And thanks to the rain, one video shows the pink and purple polka dot umbrella - hahha. He will look so manly.
Bug also starts dance tomorrow so we had to go and get dance shoes, both ballet and tap - fun. She is so excited. In fact she slept in her ballet shows. I will get pics tomorrow before school, she is adorable in her leotard, if I do say so myself.
The only real issue yesterday was that baby apparently doesn't like pumpkin lattes. How can this be? While I didn't get sick, I felt like I was going to most of the day. The good news is that baby does like Lamme's chocolate covered strawberries - thank goodness. That might have been my breakfast this morning.
I know this isn't a high traffic site. But I want to capture my feelings like I did with Bug. Today is errand day. I am not sure how I am going to plan dinners - nothing sounds good.
Now I must go, it seems Sweetie is dead and we must go to the bookstore to get a new one (very odd game we play, you would have to be us to truly get it, lol).
Bug also starts dance tomorrow so we had to go and get dance shoes, both ballet and tap - fun. She is so excited. In fact she slept in her ballet shows. I will get pics tomorrow before school, she is adorable in her leotard, if I do say so myself.
The only real issue yesterday was that baby apparently doesn't like pumpkin lattes. How can this be? While I didn't get sick, I felt like I was going to most of the day. The good news is that baby does like Lamme's chocolate covered strawberries - thank goodness. That might have been my breakfast this morning.
I know this isn't a high traffic site. But I want to capture my feelings like I did with Bug. Today is errand day. I am not sure how I am going to plan dinners - nothing sounds good.
Now I must go, it seems Sweetie is dead and we must go to the bookstore to get a new one (very odd game we play, you would have to be us to truly get it, lol).
Thursday, September 10, 2009
still hanging in there
So far so good. Still feeling what I should be and doing what I need to do. I cannot wait until the appointment. Work has been busy with an audit. My nausea is fairly constant, but not getting in the way. I am emotional and hormonal, but that is to be expected.
Tomorrow starts Bug's soccer season. This is her first year doing it. I hope she loves it. Saturday is her first game. In preparation we bought a new point and click camera.
Well, I know this has been the most exciting thing on the internet, complete sarcasm. But I am exhausted and must sleep.
Tomorrow starts Bug's soccer season. This is her first year doing it. I hope she loves it. Saturday is her first game. In preparation we bought a new point and click camera.
Well, I know this has been the most exciting thing on the internet, complete sarcasm. But I am exhausted and must sleep.
Monday, September 07, 2009
I did it
OK I spent the day with the family. I love my family. We are in some ways so very different, but we accept each other and, at least I do, really like each other. Well, I was feeling so good after the day that when I got home I did a workout. Nothing crazy. I did the first trimester weight and stretch workout in my prenatal exercise book. It felt good. I didn't exercise with Bug. I also didn't gain a lot of weight - thanks to already being so heavy. But this time I know I am older and I want to feel good throughout.
So I am feeling good. Trying not to let the fear rule me. Don't worry I am watching for the "warning signs" very closely - I am not completely cured, lol.
So I am feeling good. Trying not to let the fear rule me. Don't worry I am watching for the "warning signs" very closely - I am not completely cured, lol.
Living on faith
As I have said before, I feel different this time. This does not take away the fear of another loss. Sweetie admitted his fears too. But staying with thinking positive we went shopping on Saturday for some maternity clothes. The one good/bad thing about having extra padding and being pregnant before is that I am showing earlier than with Bug.
So I am living on faith, praying that what I want is also what is meant to be. Next appointment is 9/28. This will be the 12 week sonogram. We didn't make it that far last time. I will feel much better after that appt.
This weekend has been very nice and relaxing. I have had some good family time, got to hang out with some friends, rested a ton, and today is a family gathering.
I am hoping to start my exercising again this week. I have been bad and lazy. Well, tired with nausea doesn't help. Hopefully, I can get past that to enjoy the benefits of more energy.
So I am living on faith, praying that what I want is also what is meant to be. Next appointment is 9/28. This will be the 12 week sonogram. We didn't make it that far last time. I will feel much better after that appt.
This weekend has been very nice and relaxing. I have had some good family time, got to hang out with some friends, rested a ton, and today is a family gathering.
I am hoping to start my exercising again this week. I have been bad and lazy. Well, tired with nausea doesn't help. Hopefully, I can get past that to enjoy the benefits of more energy.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
the big question
The big question now is, do we find out the sex? We did with Bug. Well, we had to wait an extra month as she covered herself. But do we wait this time? Could I even do that? Part of me really wants to find out so I know how much of her stuff that we can use for this one. And I do have at least 10 weeks to think about it.
And nothing is set, of course. But this one feels so much better than last year. Yes, I have the morning/day/night sickness, but I am also just so happy (although also bitchy and hormonal). I can't explain it. Also my body isn't doing the crazy weight gain like it did last year. This time is more like with Bug and me showing a weight loss still.
We get to see the baby again on Wednesday. There are perks to needing a OB specialist along with the normal OBGYN - more times to see baby!!!
Now I just need to get past my fears and get my butt moving.
And nothing is set, of course. But this one feels so much better than last year. Yes, I have the morning/day/night sickness, but I am also just so happy (although also bitchy and hormonal). I can't explain it. Also my body isn't doing the crazy weight gain like it did last year. This time is more like with Bug and me showing a weight loss still.
We get to see the baby again on Wednesday. There are perks to needing a OB specialist along with the normal OBGYN - more times to see baby!!!
Now I just need to get past my fears and get my butt moving.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
heehee
So we have some news. heehee. I am almost 8 weeks pregnant. Due April 11th. YAY. We saw the specialist Ob on Tuesday - we saw a heartbeat and got to hear it. So excited. Not sure how much I will post, been going to bed around 9 due to exhaustion. So far I am feeling nicely sick and tired ;-)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The one where I start walking again
You know how the Friend's episodes are titled to begin "the one with the...", I am in that kind of mood.
I am walking again. At least once last week, and then this morning again. I hadn't walked due to muscle pain, weight gain due to mc and thyroid, feeling slower than anything, and simply having no energy.
Well, I did it. I did not track distance, that way I can't beat myself for my speed. I know which driveway was the halfway point last time and this time (this time was further). I set out to move for a certain number of minutes. It felt great. I love a morning walk. It is hard to wake up for it, esp with fighting the fatigue related to my thyroid.
The sun was in a beautiful rise this morning - pink and golden. I listened to my lectures while I walked. I smelled the flowers, smiled at the animals, and moved my body.
I am working on me. I am trying to improve each aspect of my life and living by the motto, "if not now, when?" The sunshine has been partly cloudy and I am tired of it.
So my goal now is to focus on eating right, moving my body, studying, and organizing.
Sweetie and I are planning vacations. We both have a ton of vacation to use up or we lose it.
I am walking again. At least once last week, and then this morning again. I hadn't walked due to muscle pain, weight gain due to mc and thyroid, feeling slower than anything, and simply having no energy.
Well, I did it. I did not track distance, that way I can't beat myself for my speed. I know which driveway was the halfway point last time and this time (this time was further). I set out to move for a certain number of minutes. It felt great. I love a morning walk. It is hard to wake up for it, esp with fighting the fatigue related to my thyroid.
The sun was in a beautiful rise this morning - pink and golden. I listened to my lectures while I walked. I smelled the flowers, smiled at the animals, and moved my body.
I am working on me. I am trying to improve each aspect of my life and living by the motto, "if not now, when?" The sunshine has been partly cloudy and I am tired of it.
So my goal now is to focus on eating right, moving my body, studying, and organizing.
Sweetie and I are planning vacations. We both have a ton of vacation to use up or we lose it.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
thoughts
Not sure where this is going. All I know is that I need to write. So far I am not moving my blog, I may at some point, who knows.
I did not pass my test. The testing site had a network shut down for an hour, I wasn't as prepared as I thought, the week before had extra stress...the list goes on and on. I thought I was ok with it, well really I am. But a part of me is disappointed, as I am human.
My thyroid is doing so much better. I have been on my meds for 7 weeks. I get my blood tested tomorrow. I hope the results prove that my thyroid is on track, I feel that it is. My skin is not better at all. But no one wants to treat anything while I am contemplating pregnancy. Ugh. That is frustrating too. We have not been fully trying. No tracking, no ovulation kits, nothing crazy, simply not preventing. I go back and forth whether I want to just stick with Bug and no more. Then I see siblings and I want her to have that relationship. But the truth of the matter is that I don't know how long it may take. A lot has changed with my health since having Bug.
The worst part of a miscarriage, other than the loss, is everyone knows you want another. They are watching and waiting for me to get pregnant again. If I am sick, they wonder, if I do anything different, they contemplate. Nothing is said to me, but I know it is there. My boss is wonderful, the best I have ever had. I know his wanting to learn all aspects of my job is his fear that I am going to be needing a maternity leave sooner than later. He would never ever ever say it in that way. And the way I wrote it comes across badly. Nothing like that. More like he wants to make sure we have our bases covered in case of a medical leave needed. He hasn't said anything, I am only assuming. And I don't want to wait, but I worry. And there is that I am scared. As I said above, I am human. Of course I am scared.
I am frustrated by my weight. With my thyroid at a normal range, I know that I can lose, I just need to get off my butt. In an attempt to motivate myself I had my family join the Texas Roundup Family Summer Challenge. The goal is to exercise 150 minutes a week for 8 weeks. I am hoping it works. A little motivation can go a long way. At least that is what I keep telling myself.
The good news is that I am in a cleaning and fix it up mood. We have visited some beautiful houses lately. While we cannot afford to move at this point, we want to improve our space. We have plans for the front yard, floors, and painting.
Yes, planning and laughing and being silly and hard work - that will make it all better.
I did not pass my test. The testing site had a network shut down for an hour, I wasn't as prepared as I thought, the week before had extra stress...the list goes on and on. I thought I was ok with it, well really I am. But a part of me is disappointed, as I am human.
My thyroid is doing so much better. I have been on my meds for 7 weeks. I get my blood tested tomorrow. I hope the results prove that my thyroid is on track, I feel that it is. My skin is not better at all. But no one wants to treat anything while I am contemplating pregnancy. Ugh. That is frustrating too. We have not been fully trying. No tracking, no ovulation kits, nothing crazy, simply not preventing. I go back and forth whether I want to just stick with Bug and no more. Then I see siblings and I want her to have that relationship. But the truth of the matter is that I don't know how long it may take. A lot has changed with my health since having Bug.
The worst part of a miscarriage, other than the loss, is everyone knows you want another. They are watching and waiting for me to get pregnant again. If I am sick, they wonder, if I do anything different, they contemplate. Nothing is said to me, but I know it is there. My boss is wonderful, the best I have ever had. I know his wanting to learn all aspects of my job is his fear that I am going to be needing a maternity leave sooner than later. He would never ever ever say it in that way. And the way I wrote it comes across badly. Nothing like that. More like he wants to make sure we have our bases covered in case of a medical leave needed. He hasn't said anything, I am only assuming. And I don't want to wait, but I worry. And there is that I am scared. As I said above, I am human. Of course I am scared.
I am frustrated by my weight. With my thyroid at a normal range, I know that I can lose, I just need to get off my butt. In an attempt to motivate myself I had my family join the Texas Roundup Family Summer Challenge. The goal is to exercise 150 minutes a week for 8 weeks. I am hoping it works. A little motivation can go a long way. At least that is what I keep telling myself.
The good news is that I am in a cleaning and fix it up mood. We have visited some beautiful houses lately. While we cannot afford to move at this point, we want to improve our space. We have plans for the front yard, floors, and painting.
Yes, planning and laughing and being silly and hard work - that will make it all better.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Still around
I feel inclined to post an update. Not sure what exactly what to say. Maybe it is because my boss is out of town, maybe it is stress, who knows. I have my next CMA test on Saturday. I am not feeling too good about it. I have not been studying. Life, Bug, Sweetie, and work has gotten in the way. It is what it is.
Things are stressful at Sweetie's work. I hate it. I want him happy. He deserves to be happy. All plans are on hold for now. I want to go home right now and get a game plan for him to find his happiness again.
So I have this test. If you remember back I was having issues with my Sjogren's and let the the head peeps for the testing know and they so graciously gave me another testing window free of charge. I am not fully prepared. I am stressed. I feel like I need to study, but sweetie needs me.
I am just feeling overwhelmed right now, and stuck. I want to plan, move forward. I want to get this testing done, plan a vacation, get the floors done. But I am stuck.
Nothing to worry about. I can unstuck myself. I just need a little venting from time to time. Perhaps I need a more private place to blog. Perhaps all I need is some time off.
Things are stressful at Sweetie's work. I hate it. I want him happy. He deserves to be happy. All plans are on hold for now. I want to go home right now and get a game plan for him to find his happiness again.
So I have this test. If you remember back I was having issues with my Sjogren's and let the the head peeps for the testing know and they so graciously gave me another testing window free of charge. I am not fully prepared. I am stressed. I feel like I need to study, but sweetie needs me.
I am just feeling overwhelmed right now, and stuck. I want to plan, move forward. I want to get this testing done, plan a vacation, get the floors done. But I am stuck.
Nothing to worry about. I can unstuck myself. I just need a little venting from time to time. Perhaps I need a more private place to blog. Perhaps all I need is some time off.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Happy 4th Birthday!!!
Today my Bug turns 4. I cannot believe she is 4. The time has flown by. So much has changed since last year - with Bug and in Bug's world. I adore the kid she is becoming. I love her more every single day. Happy birthday dear wonderful Bug. I hope the day is wonderful for you!!!
Bug through the years:
2005 -
2006 - 
2007 - 
2008 - 
2009 - 
Bug through the years:
2005 -
2006 - 
2007 - 
2008 - 
2009 - 
Monday, May 18, 2009
We will miss you Deb!
Deb left our world today. She was an amazing, motivating, brilliant woman. She leaves behind her a following that spans the country wide. She had a way with words. In the midst of her own battles she would remind us to enjoy the sun and eat a fresh salad. She influenced me in ways I never would expect from an internet friend. I was lucky enough to meet her in person to celebrate her b-day in 2007 at a small Greek restaurant in Austin. It felt like seeing an old friend. That was just how she was.
Please send prayers to her family, luckily her life was filled with a large and loving one, and most importantly her daughter.
The world will miss Deb. She made an impact on more people than most do in a longer lifetime.
Thank you, Deb, for everything!
Please send prayers to her family, luckily her life was filled with a large and loving one, and most importantly her daughter.
The world will miss Deb. She made an impact on more people than most do in a longer lifetime.
Thank you, Deb, for everything!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
And the cycle begins again
Thankfully I received a call on Tuesday that my thyroid is hypo again. I knew it was, but do to standards vs new standards I was worried that I would still be "normal". I am having a ton of symptoms so I was prepared to go in with a fight. No fight needed. I am hypo and back on synthroid. Hopefully in the next few weeks I will feel better. My thyroid went hypo back in 2002, diagnosed in Jan 2004. It turned hyper after having Bug, then normal, and now hypo again. Now I wonder if I will be going hyper again. Is the cycle going to repeat?
My car is going to take longer than 5 weeks. This just blows my mind. I love car pooling with Sweetie. The only issue is that he doesn't have AC and summer is here.
I have been cleaning today. Going through old things. I feel like when I was very depressed in 2006 that I stopped doing some things. Hard to explain. But the closet I am going through has things that I just shoved in there and never put away or used. Kind of emotional and empowering at the same time. I can see how far I have come from that point. I can appreciate the need to go through a hard time to grow and come back stronger.
I am doing good. I am happy about the results of the tests. Now I feel like I can start to lose weight and feel better overall.
OK I have to get back to Bug, she is so much fun and a big help today.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
My Mother's Day Gift
Last late June we got a bicycle for Sweetie for his birthday - yes, early. When we got him an awesome bike I told him that he going to use it. Sure enough he joined Team in Training. He began the program at the end of January. He trained and raised money in Deb's honor. Because I got him into the program, and the race fell on Mother's Day Weekend, I told him all I wanted was for him to complete the race. Yesterday, was his event day. He participated in the Armadillo Hill Country Ride. He completed 107 miles with a smile. He is truly amazing. I am beyond proud of him. MIL, Mom, Bug, and myself went and cheered him on. We were lucky enough to see him at two rest stops and at the finish. I am beyond proud. And might I add, he is so super fine on his bike - he looks like a pro. Here are some pics from our wonderful day.
This is Sweetie and Bug at a fund raising event:
Here he is coming in for the finish:
We are so proud of him:
They had showers on site - so nice. This is Sweetie at the finish after a shower. He was on top of the world:
My Daddy can bike over 100 miles, can yours?
It was a wonderful day. I am very proud of him.
This is Sweetie and Bug at a fund raising event:
Here he is coming in for the finish:
We are so proud of him:
They had showers on site - so nice. This is Sweetie at the finish after a shower. He was on top of the world:
My Daddy can bike over 100 miles, can yours?
It was a wonderful day. I am very proud of him.
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