As you hold me in your arms, I know everything will be ok.
Deep within your eyes, I can see how much you adore me.
Your tender touch on my face and on my belly is so loving, yet careful and cautious.
Laughter and smiles fill our time, silly inside jokes for no one but ourselves.
Being apart, for even working hours, causes our hearts to miss being close to each other.
The next step, a child, excites us and brings us closer still.
A simple glance is all I need for you to know if I need a kiss or a hug.
Everyday our love strengthens.
Everyday our commitment reestablishes.
While in public, your affection is strong and obvious. You do not care who sees us.
Daily you tell me how much you love, need, and adore me.
I fit perfectly in your arms as we drift off to sleep.
I need you in my life.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Blogs are Interesting
When I blog, I write what I want to and what I am feeling. I have several loyal readers (family, friends, and some unknowns), yet I do not write for them. I write for myself. If my blog begins to bore you – I am sorry. However, the focus on my blog is my life. My Sweetie has a blog with a different focus. While he cannot help but post from time to time about baby and me, overall his blog is about Design – as most of you know since the majority of my regular visitors also read his blog.
My SIL – husband’s sister – uses LiveJournal. She likes a feature that restricts who can read her posts. It works for her. However, I like blogger better. I like that whatever I write is accessible to anyone. If I put it out there, then it is ripe for the picking. I know this means that I am vulnerable in some aspects to those whom I do not care for. However, I am willing to take that chance. I do not write my blog for them. I use this as a tool, as a journal, as a way to express myself in a semi-creative way. With how things are in my life right now, I want a place to document how I feel. Things are so wonderful and I never want to forget.
I read several blogs on a regular basis. Some caught my attention with their history, others with their current situation. While I do not know these individuals in real life, I do know about aspects of their life. In addition, I am drawn back to read more on a daily basis.
Last night Sweetie and I went over to Best Friend’s house. I had homework to do so I packed up my laptop. While I sat in the living room using their wireless network, I had a sudden moment of technology overload. While this is not the first time for me to travel with my laptop in this manner, something about last night hit me. I was chatting with a friend in Dallas while sitting with my Best Friend. I had my computer, so all of my bookmarks as well as my documents were with me. It was not long ago, where our biggest form of communication was not e-mail or cell phones. Now, I have a cell phone, wireless internet, and a blog to inform all about my daily life. So very strange.
My SIL – husband’s sister – uses LiveJournal. She likes a feature that restricts who can read her posts. It works for her. However, I like blogger better. I like that whatever I write is accessible to anyone. If I put it out there, then it is ripe for the picking. I know this means that I am vulnerable in some aspects to those whom I do not care for. However, I am willing to take that chance. I do not write my blog for them. I use this as a tool, as a journal, as a way to express myself in a semi-creative way. With how things are in my life right now, I want a place to document how I feel. Things are so wonderful and I never want to forget.
I read several blogs on a regular basis. Some caught my attention with their history, others with their current situation. While I do not know these individuals in real life, I do know about aspects of their life. In addition, I am drawn back to read more on a daily basis.
Last night Sweetie and I went over to Best Friend’s house. I had homework to do so I packed up my laptop. While I sat in the living room using their wireless network, I had a sudden moment of technology overload. While this is not the first time for me to travel with my laptop in this manner, something about last night hit me. I was chatting with a friend in Dallas while sitting with my Best Friend. I had my computer, so all of my bookmarks as well as my documents were with me. It was not long ago, where our biggest form of communication was not e-mail or cell phones. Now, I have a cell phone, wireless internet, and a blog to inform all about my daily life. So very strange.
Beautiful Day
Yesterday, and so far today, have been so beautiful. Blue Sky, scarce clouds, green lawns, and a slight chill in the air make for a happy Missy. As much as I love the rain and overcast, nice beautiful days after a storm are so very enjoyable. Spring is definitely coming. I cannot wait. Of course Baby is coming in June and that is still in spring, so that might be a little overwhelming.
I made the official decision that I am waiting to test for CPA until after baby. Between pregnancy brain (which I didn’t truly believe in until I began experiencing it), wanting to do well in my last class, preparing the house for baby, and simply wanting to spend every second that I can with my Sweetie before we become three, sitting for the CPA now would only cause unneeded stress. I know that I am eligible to sit and I have the review information. The next step is only to apply myself and finish the tests. No rush.
The last day of the month is the slowest for me. Some other areas of Accounting experience this time as the busiest, such as Accounts Receivable and Accounts Payable. However, since I am General Ledger, I come in after the fact and clean everything up. Tomorrow, I will be busy – actually this whole week will be busy. I completed what I can today before Inventory, AP, and AR finalize their numbers. For now, I am enjoying the calm before the storm and using this time to make “to do” lists and a brain-break.
Yesterday, while out with my Sweetie and Mom, we went to Kohls for shoes. I actually found some sandals that will be good for my back. And I listened to my Sweetie and bought the ones that made my feet feel wonderful. They are sporty and feel like slippers. Between that and the cream pops that we got at the store – I was in a good mood.
Today I sit working and looking out my window to a beautiful clear blue sky. While I wish I could be outside enjoying the weather, I am happy to at least have my window to look out.
I made the official decision that I am waiting to test for CPA until after baby. Between pregnancy brain (which I didn’t truly believe in until I began experiencing it), wanting to do well in my last class, preparing the house for baby, and simply wanting to spend every second that I can with my Sweetie before we become three, sitting for the CPA now would only cause unneeded stress. I know that I am eligible to sit and I have the review information. The next step is only to apply myself and finish the tests. No rush.
The last day of the month is the slowest for me. Some other areas of Accounting experience this time as the busiest, such as Accounts Receivable and Accounts Payable. However, since I am General Ledger, I come in after the fact and clean everything up. Tomorrow, I will be busy – actually this whole week will be busy. I completed what I can today before Inventory, AP, and AR finalize their numbers. For now, I am enjoying the calm before the storm and using this time to make “to do” lists and a brain-break.
Yesterday, while out with my Sweetie and Mom, we went to Kohls for shoes. I actually found some sandals that will be good for my back. And I listened to my Sweetie and bought the ones that made my feet feel wonderful. They are sporty and feel like slippers. Between that and the cream pops that we got at the store – I was in a good mood.
Today I sit working and looking out my window to a beautiful clear blue sky. While I wish I could be outside enjoying the weather, I am happy to at least have my window to look out.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Cleaning for a New Life
I know that I am blogging a lot this weekend. There is simply so much going on. We just got back from MotoDiva’s. Today was interesting with packing up her things. We helped as much as we could, with me as supervisor of course. Sweetie helped with lifting heavy boxes and being as wonderful as always.
It is very emotional to go through a house with a friend and decide what stays and what goes. I cannot help but think about my marriage. It would take forever to split everything up between us. Not because of how much we own, but because most everything we own is “ours” and not simply “mine” or “his”. I received several random hugs and kisses during the day from my Sweetie thanking me for our relationship. That always makes me happy.
Supporting my dear friend makes me realize how wonderful my marriage really is. It is something I hope I never take for granted.
It is very emotional to go through a house with a friend and decide what stays and what goes. I cannot help but think about my marriage. It would take forever to split everything up between us. Not because of how much we own, but because most everything we own is “ours” and not simply “mine” or “his”. I received several random hugs and kisses during the day from my Sweetie thanking me for our relationship. That always makes me happy.
Supporting my dear friend makes me realize how wonderful my marriage really is. It is something I hope I never take for granted.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Pregnancy is Strange
OK so today I decided that I wanted to measure myself. In the past, with working to lose weight, I measured myself regularly. This time was very different. I did not walk in hoping to go down another size, or with any other expectations. I simply wanted to see how my body has changed with my 25 weeks of pregnancy.
While my weight remains lower than pre-pregnancy, hey a pound is a pound; I figured my body would be very different. This week the baby has changed my diaphragm drastically causing the smallest of tasks to cause me to be out of breath. This is great for the ego ☹ Luckily, we discussed this in our child birthing class and I no longer feel as a freak.
This morning I ventured into the bathroom with the latest measurements in hand – could not find the set right before we got pregnant, so I settled for one a month before as it should be close enough. This time I was not nervous about the whole ordeal, simply curious.
At 25 weeks, the only difference is my belly. I assumed that I would gain on my thighs and hips, as much a part of pregnancy as the belly. However, not me, I am the same as I was in August. My waist is four inches larger – really, I thought it would be more. She has grown rapidly this past week. Since I always measured my chest under the breast, I know TMI, and it is the same as well.
On my pregnancy board, there are women who are like me with no gain and those who have already hit 25 pounds gained. Each pregnant woman is different, as each pregnancy. Since I started with more padding than needed, I worried about how any additional weight would affect baby or me. However, pregnancy is not the time to diet or add additional exercise. My savior has been my lack of appetite. My biggest issue, is not sweets surprisingly, it is salty like fries and chips. Overall, I watch what I eat, but do not limit or deprive myself of any indulgences. It will be interesting to see how the next 15 weeks go with body changes.
DarkDiva says the best tool for weight loss is being madly in love. I think this is very true and why my weight has not gone crazy.
While my weight remains lower than pre-pregnancy, hey a pound is a pound; I figured my body would be very different. This week the baby has changed my diaphragm drastically causing the smallest of tasks to cause me to be out of breath. This is great for the ego ☹ Luckily, we discussed this in our child birthing class and I no longer feel as a freak.
This morning I ventured into the bathroom with the latest measurements in hand – could not find the set right before we got pregnant, so I settled for one a month before as it should be close enough. This time I was not nervous about the whole ordeal, simply curious.
At 25 weeks, the only difference is my belly. I assumed that I would gain on my thighs and hips, as much a part of pregnancy as the belly. However, not me, I am the same as I was in August. My waist is four inches larger – really, I thought it would be more. She has grown rapidly this past week. Since I always measured my chest under the breast, I know TMI, and it is the same as well.
On my pregnancy board, there are women who are like me with no gain and those who have already hit 25 pounds gained. Each pregnant woman is different, as each pregnancy. Since I started with more padding than needed, I worried about how any additional weight would affect baby or me. However, pregnancy is not the time to diet or add additional exercise. My savior has been my lack of appetite. My biggest issue, is not sweets surprisingly, it is salty like fries and chips. Overall, I watch what I eat, but do not limit or deprive myself of any indulgences. It will be interesting to see how the next 15 weeks go with body changes.
DarkDiva says the best tool for weight loss is being madly in love. I think this is very true and why my weight has not gone crazy.
Friday, February 25, 2005
So Very Tired Today
While I slept wonderfully last night, I am dragging today. Luckily, I found out why. I have pregnancy anemia. This is nothing scary. 95% of women suffer from the needed iron supplement. It has to do with my blood supply increasing so rapidly. So, I get to take a iron supplement along with my prenatal vitamin. Nothing bad. The good news is that the Cystic Fibrosis test came back negative – YAY! Also, my glucose test came back good. This means that, for now at least, I do not have to worry about gestational diabetes.
I was so busy at work today. So busy I did not eat until close to 2:00. While not eating makes me feel less than wonderful, I do love being up to my eyeballs in spreadsheets analyzing data and reconciling accounts. And my new computer ROCKS!! Although it is a PC….
Tonight was a fun filled evening with SIL, Brother, Mom, and Sweetie. It is so nice to have my Brother back to his old self. Tomorrow our plans are to sleep in and then head to MotoDiva’s to give support. I am hoping to get some relaxation this weekend – that and to get started on preparing house for baby.
I was so busy at work today. So busy I did not eat until close to 2:00. While not eating makes me feel less than wonderful, I do love being up to my eyeballs in spreadsheets analyzing data and reconciling accounts. And my new computer ROCKS!! Although it is a PC….
Tonight was a fun filled evening with SIL, Brother, Mom, and Sweetie. It is so nice to have my Brother back to his old self. Tomorrow our plans are to sleep in and then head to MotoDiva’s to give support. I am hoping to get some relaxation this weekend – that and to get started on preparing house for baby.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Lost Love and Those Around
Today marks a very special day. We start our child birth class tonight. For the next four weeks we will be in class from 6:30-9:00. I can’t believe we are at this point. My Mom bought me a new shirt (pink of course) that I am wearing today. It makes me look very pregnant – so Sweetie is happy. Since the classes start so close to when we get off work, I drove Sweetie into work today. I will leave a little early and we are going to have dinner before heading to the hospital with our two pillows and a blanket.
On sad news, I found out that MotoDiva is leaving her husband. I do not know the details, nor would I post them here. It makes me sad. However, it makes me appreciate what I have with my Sweetie. We have proven that we can make it through anything while gaining strength and confidence. So, it is hard for me to see a couple close to us not make it. I want to hug my Sweetie right now. He found out before I did and sent me an IM thanking me for being with him. He is such a wonderful man.
I do not usually share private conversations – but this is what I received from my Sweetie during lunch today on instant messenger:
Me: sometimes Chick-fil-A is good, but not great - this time it is GREAT
Sweetie: that's awesome, mouse
Me: makes me smile
Sweetie: my sammich is very tasty today, too... i wonder if our lunches taste better than normal today because of "us" being "us" still and as strong as we are.
Me: you are going to make me cry
Sweetie: I love you so much
Sweetie: everything seems so much richer to me right now... more valuable...
Sweetie: you -are- the single most important thing in my life, Missy. I need you.
Me: I love you
On good news, we think we decided on a name. This is HUGE. This is a person’s life that we are forming. So far, pending any pregnancy last minute thoughts, we are going with the VERY unique name. Well, it isn’t a name. But we love it and are making it a name. So when you find out keep in mind that it is unique and please let it grow on you before you react. We thought long and hard about this one. This is the name we chose. The name that is perfect for us.
On sad news, I found out that MotoDiva is leaving her husband. I do not know the details, nor would I post them here. It makes me sad. However, it makes me appreciate what I have with my Sweetie. We have proven that we can make it through anything while gaining strength and confidence. So, it is hard for me to see a couple close to us not make it. I want to hug my Sweetie right now. He found out before I did and sent me an IM thanking me for being with him. He is such a wonderful man.
I do not usually share private conversations – but this is what I received from my Sweetie during lunch today on instant messenger:
Me: sometimes Chick-fil-A is good, but not great - this time it is GREAT
Sweetie: that's awesome, mouse
Me: makes me smile
Sweetie: my sammich is very tasty today, too... i wonder if our lunches taste better than normal today because of "us" being "us" still and as strong as we are.
Me: you are going to make me cry
Sweetie: I love you so much
Sweetie: everything seems so much richer to me right now... more valuable...
Sweetie: you -are- the single most important thing in my life, Missy. I need you.
Me: I love you
On good news, we think we decided on a name. This is HUGE. This is a person’s life that we are forming. So far, pending any pregnancy last minute thoughts, we are going with the VERY unique name. Well, it isn’t a name. But we love it and are making it a name. So when you find out keep in mind that it is unique and please let it grow on you before you react. We thought long and hard about this one. This is the name we chose. The name that is perfect for us.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Getting Better
I think, knock on wood, that I am finally better. The last two nights I actually slept. This is good. Last night I slept great. I passed out early – ok not too early – but I went straight into a deep sleep. And much to my surprise I awoke to laundry complete (and put away), dishes done, and coffee table organized. My Sweetie is wonderful. These things were not even stressing me out. He did it all because he wants to make me happy. Little does he know that all I need to be happy is to hear that he loves me and to feel his wonderful hug.
Work was good today. I was busy and I got a new computer. This is huge since mine was crashing with errors talking about disk failures. Now I will be able to work more efficiently. If only it was a laptop…..
Sweetie was so cute this morning. As we were finishing getting ready for work he asked if we could ride together. He loves adding any minutes that he can to our time together. Hard to say no to such a cute face.
I just have to say it again; I am so happy right now. I feel close to my family. I am happy with my job. School is almost over. I have wonderful friends. And most importantly, I feel completely secure in my marriage and in our new little family. I am so very lucky.
Of course, there is that whole fact of having to be an adult now. No, two cars, a mortgage, college degrees, careers, and pushing 30 does not make you an adult. Having a child does though, LOL. There is no one else that I would want to become an adult with. It helps that we know each other better than anyone else knows us. Like how he knows if I move my legs a certain way it means that I am sick. I know that he stayed up too late if his eyes have purple lines under them. Of course, I won’t post everything that I know that others don’t, there is something so wonderful in being the only one who knows these things.
Baby has been wonderful today, kicking away. I love to feel these kicks. It is hard to describe. But it is wonderful. I can’t wait until this weekend. We are getting started on preparing the house for baby. There is a lot to do. However, I have a plan in place that will have everything ready before graduation. Yes, for those who know me, it is in Excel. And yes, I do have a copy at work and at home.
This post is so long because I am waiting on Sweetie to come and pick me up. It doesn’t bother me, it just causes me to have mushy gushy feelings since I just talked to him – heehee – and I have access to a computer – and a fast one now.
Tonight I have to do my school work. Let’s hope I can stay awake.
Work was good today. I was busy and I got a new computer. This is huge since mine was crashing with errors talking about disk failures. Now I will be able to work more efficiently. If only it was a laptop…..
Sweetie was so cute this morning. As we were finishing getting ready for work he asked if we could ride together. He loves adding any minutes that he can to our time together. Hard to say no to such a cute face.
I just have to say it again; I am so happy right now. I feel close to my family. I am happy with my job. School is almost over. I have wonderful friends. And most importantly, I feel completely secure in my marriage and in our new little family. I am so very lucky.
Of course, there is that whole fact of having to be an adult now. No, two cars, a mortgage, college degrees, careers, and pushing 30 does not make you an adult. Having a child does though, LOL. There is no one else that I would want to become an adult with. It helps that we know each other better than anyone else knows us. Like how he knows if I move my legs a certain way it means that I am sick. I know that he stayed up too late if his eyes have purple lines under them. Of course, I won’t post everything that I know that others don’t, there is something so wonderful in being the only one who knows these things.
Baby has been wonderful today, kicking away. I love to feel these kicks. It is hard to describe. But it is wonderful. I can’t wait until this weekend. We are getting started on preparing the house for baby. There is a lot to do. However, I have a plan in place that will have everything ready before graduation. Yes, for those who know me, it is in Excel. And yes, I do have a copy at work and at home.
This post is so long because I am waiting on Sweetie to come and pick me up. It doesn’t bother me, it just causes me to have mushy gushy feelings since I just talked to him – heehee – and I have access to a computer – and a fast one now.
Tonight I have to do my school work. Let’s hope I can stay awake.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
True Love
Want to know what true love is? When your man gives you his free iTunes cap to use for any song you want. Yep, that is what my Sweetie did tonight – it was a great surprise. Once again, simple pleasures. That is after drawing me a wonderful bubble bath. I have not taken a bath in months (don't worry I do shower, LOL) for fear that the baths that I like would be too hot for Baby. Imagine my surprise to find out that my baths were not in the “too hot” range. This means I have my baths back.
Pretty in Pink
Today’s appointment proved what we were hoping for – Indeed Baby is a GIRL. We are so happy. The drink did not taste as bad as I was afraid. However, it really affected me. I got jittery and could not think very straight. Nothing serious – but I did check the wrong doctor’s name when we arrived. Apparently, pregnancy brain is very common because the receptionist simply confirmed who my correct doctor is.
Overall, the appointment was fast. Other than waiting to give my blood (has to be one hour after finishing the drink), we were in and out. Urine test looks good. Weight is great – still down one pound from pre-pregnancy weight. Blood pressure is good. Baby’s heartbeat is strong. And get this – she has long legs. How is this possible? I am starting to think it will not be long before she is taller than I am. One nice thing about appointment day is that my Sweetie brings me to work – this means he has to pick me up.
I have to work on some schoolwork tonight, research for my big project. This is for my group project. Luckily, we split up the work needed for a Monday deadline. This semester has not been bad – although I have always taken more than one course – so that might be part of it. Five and a half years of more than one – sometimes 5 classes, while working full time, starts to seem normal.
I am just so happy that she let us see her parts – lol.
Now we feel motivated to work on her bedroom.
This is such an amazing journey. I knew it would change me (emotionally, physically, spiritually) but I had no idea the impact on my marriage. I knew my Sweetie would be interested and informed about the pregnancy, I had no idea that he would be so engaged in the process. He even refers to it as “our” pregnancy.
I think I am going to kidnap my Sweetie for a big date this weekend. OK so it will not be that big of a surprise since he reads my blog. Since the nausea left, we have not really had a great date night. I am aching to have a romantic evening with him. I have a cute black dress that wants to go out on the town. All I need is maternity hose – what fun. It is amazing how the same weight can be such a different shape. I cannot see my feet when I am standing straight – lol.
I read some other blogs of pregnant women and they post their bellies. I will consider doing this. Of course, it will have to be a great picture.
Overall, the appointment was fast. Other than waiting to give my blood (has to be one hour after finishing the drink), we were in and out. Urine test looks good. Weight is great – still down one pound from pre-pregnancy weight. Blood pressure is good. Baby’s heartbeat is strong. And get this – she has long legs. How is this possible? I am starting to think it will not be long before she is taller than I am. One nice thing about appointment day is that my Sweetie brings me to work – this means he has to pick me up.
I have to work on some schoolwork tonight, research for my big project. This is for my group project. Luckily, we split up the work needed for a Monday deadline. This semester has not been bad – although I have always taken more than one course – so that might be part of it. Five and a half years of more than one – sometimes 5 classes, while working full time, starts to seem normal.
I am just so happy that she let us see her parts – lol.
Now we feel motivated to work on her bedroom.
This is such an amazing journey. I knew it would change me (emotionally, physically, spiritually) but I had no idea the impact on my marriage. I knew my Sweetie would be interested and informed about the pregnancy, I had no idea that he would be so engaged in the process. He even refers to it as “our” pregnancy.
I think I am going to kidnap my Sweetie for a big date this weekend. OK so it will not be that big of a surprise since he reads my blog. Since the nausea left, we have not really had a great date night. I am aching to have a romantic evening with him. I have a cute black dress that wants to go out on the town. All I need is maternity hose – what fun. It is amazing how the same weight can be such a different shape. I cannot see my feet when I am standing straight – lol.
I read some other blogs of pregnant women and they post their bellies. I will consider doing this. Of course, it will have to be a great picture.
Monday, February 21, 2005
One. Two. Three. Hormonal.
Tomorrow morning is our next appointment, week 24. I have my glucose test then. This involves drinking a super sugary orange soda within 5-10 minutes and then giving blood after an hour. I hope that Baby will let us know for sure about the sex.
I love these appointments. My Sweetie goes to each one with me. His only request, as any other day, is that I dress to where I look very pregnant. He loves it when I show off my belly. He simply glows every time he looks at me. I am not the only one who sees it, in my love stricken state, everyone comments on how happy he is. If you know my Sweetie at all, you know he is a very passionate person. He finds it difficult to hide emotions when he feels them strongly. Even my Diva friends comment on how he takes such good care of me and is so in-love with me. This is the same reason we are always kissing and hugging each other – regardless of where we are or who is around. Sorry if this gets to anyone ☺ OK not really, I do not care what anyone thinks – I love being close to him. I love that I get to go to sleep in his arms every night and wake up next to him every morning. I love that we speak our own language or simply with our eyes. I love the history that we have and the future that is ours for the taking. Most of all, I love how he adores me, how he adores us. He is my best friend, husband, lover, companion, and my soul mate. And with soul-mates, even the biggest obstacles cannot keep the couple apart. These obstacles only make the couple stronger. What can I say? I love that man of mine.
OK enough mush for now. Stay tuned for more ultra hormonal pregnancy blogs.
I love these appointments. My Sweetie goes to each one with me. His only request, as any other day, is that I dress to where I look very pregnant. He loves it when I show off my belly. He simply glows every time he looks at me. I am not the only one who sees it, in my love stricken state, everyone comments on how happy he is. If you know my Sweetie at all, you know he is a very passionate person. He finds it difficult to hide emotions when he feels them strongly. Even my Diva friends comment on how he takes such good care of me and is so in-love with me. This is the same reason we are always kissing and hugging each other – regardless of where we are or who is around. Sorry if this gets to anyone ☺ OK not really, I do not care what anyone thinks – I love being close to him. I love that I get to go to sleep in his arms every night and wake up next to him every morning. I love that we speak our own language or simply with our eyes. I love the history that we have and the future that is ours for the taking. Most of all, I love how he adores me, how he adores us. He is my best friend, husband, lover, companion, and my soul mate. And with soul-mates, even the biggest obstacles cannot keep the couple apart. These obstacles only make the couple stronger. What can I say? I love that man of mine.
OK enough mush for now. Stay tuned for more ultra hormonal pregnancy blogs.
I am Official
After almost nine months at my current employer, I received my nameplate. The time delay was only due to my not pressing the issue. The AP Manager was nice enough to make sure that I receive one. She looks after the GL group. We are small (only 5 of us), so AP adopted us and includes us with their functions and decorations.
The most wonderful thing is the amount of time that I have been with my employer. I was only with SKIDS for 7.5 months. I was looking for a job even before I hit the 6-month point. This place tried to break me. It is the only job where I walked out. My current employer is so much better. I enjoy the work. Even with a hard day, I do not dread going in the next morning. And now with baby on the way, I know it is where I am supposed to be.
The most wonderful thing is the amount of time that I have been with my employer. I was only with SKIDS for 7.5 months. I was looking for a job even before I hit the 6-month point. This place tried to break me. It is the only job where I walked out. My current employer is so much better. I enjoy the work. Even with a hard day, I do not dread going in the next morning. And now with baby on the way, I know it is where I am supposed to be.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Happy Weekend
I am so happy today. My Sweetie and I spent a lot of time with my Mother, MIL, and Brother today. I love living so close to our family. I love being able to spend time with our family without having to drive for hours or purchase airfare.
I also met with my Capstone group. This is my last class at my beloved university. While only one of my groups in the MBA program proved to be less than desirable, I worried that this last class would also provide a crappy return. This is not the case. My group seems organized, willing to work together, and competent to graduate in May. I think this is going to be a good semester. What is shocking is that we only have 10 weeks left of class and only 12 until graduation. This year is already passing so quickly.
I am finally starting to feel better. I hope it continues. This cold has kicked my butt.
Alas, it is time for me to put my laptop away and cuddle in the arms of the man I adore.
I also met with my Capstone group. This is my last class at my beloved university. While only one of my groups in the MBA program proved to be less than desirable, I worried that this last class would also provide a crappy return. This is not the case. My group seems organized, willing to work together, and competent to graduate in May. I think this is going to be a good semester. What is shocking is that we only have 10 weeks left of class and only 12 until graduation. This year is already passing so quickly.
I am finally starting to feel better. I hope it continues. This cold has kicked my butt.
Alas, it is time for me to put my laptop away and cuddle in the arms of the man I adore.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
100 things about me
1.I was a bicentennial baby
2.Never lived more than 15 miles from the hospital I was born
3.I can be very silly
4.I can be very serious
5.I believe in comfort over fashion
6.I am 5'
7.I met my husband when I was 15
8.Married when I was 21
9.our honeymoon was at Disney World, it was wonderful
10.we are still together and are very happy
11.in fact happier than we have ever been
12.My family is very important to me
13.and often try to solve all their problems - rarely does this happen
14.I had four majors before deciding on accounting
15.I still long to do something with psychology
16.I was the first in my family to earn a college degree
17.Daisies are my favorite flower
18.Butterflies are also my favorite
19.they tend to follow me during stressful/emotional times
20.Did not ride a roller coaster until I was 16
21.It was the Texas Giant in Six Flags in Dallas
22.First airplane trip was when I was 18
23.It was my first time to leave the state of Texas and the country
24.When I am stressed I am obsessive about biting off all my nails
25.When I am writing a paper I am the same way about my toe nails
26.no, I do not bite them - I have to clip them
27.although I could physically bite my big toe nail before pregnancy
28.even with being overweight
29.I do not smoke
30.although I have smoked and "smoked" in the past
31.but never as a habit or on a consistent basis - purely social for both
32.and did not try "smoking" until I was 22 - I didn't care for it
33.I have never tried anything harder
34.I do not drink coffee in the mornings
35.instead I crave cold water and drink it all day
36.I like to drink Shirley Temples
37.They remind me of my Grandpa
38.As well as Tin Roof Ice-cream and Root Beer Floats
39.I received my love for ice-cream from him
40.I only drink alcohol on a social basis
41.and when this happens it is normally way too much
42.I am a "love everyone" drunk
43.I have lost more family members than currently survive
44.With every loss I try to focus on improving my life
45.when we lost my father-in-law my husband, then fiancee, and I moved in together
46.when we lost my father we moved up the wedding
47.when we lost my grandpa is when I started looking at going back to school
48.although it took a year before I got my butt in gear
49.I love being married
50.we have grown from mistakes
51.once you realize you really are with a person by choice - things can't help but improve
52.I know I am free to leave - I want to stay
53.I like watching stupid tv reruns before going to bed
54.I like thunder storms
55.I sing in the mornings - not only in the shower
56.mostly made up songs to the cats and my Husband
57.I have six cats - yes way too many
58.they are my furry children
59.we always wanted children
60.but wanted to wait until after I completed my education
61.I think we will be better parents for it
62.I will graduate when I am 36 weeks pregnant
63.I suffer from, and fight, depression
64.I do not like to use medication
65.It makes me feel numb
66.when I am upset, I tend to keep it in and try to stay away from others
67.a stress relief tool for me is a nice bubble bath or a long walk
68.One of my biggest accomplishments is financial independence
69.I sleep with a stuffed pooh bear
70.I get teary eyed with the national anthem
71.I use music as therapy
72.Such as Chicago, Tori Amos, and Sarah McLachlan
73.During hard times I listen to one album over and over
74.This repetition also works with movies
75.my mother and I reached a point of quoting lines from Steel Magnolias
76.it is how we bonded after my grandmother's death
77.I have completed two half marathons for charity
78.these were huge accomplishments
79.My husband met me on the course of the second and cheered me on until the end
80.I want a job that helps the community
81.my favorite thing in the world is being in my husband's arms
82.there is nothing more comforting to me - regardless of the situation
83.I am short enough that he can rest his chin on my head when he holds me
84.I am more of a morning person than a night owl
85.however, I have trouble getting myself to go to bed early
86.I love to take naps
87.I can sleep anywhere
88.unless it is the middle of the night and an Abby cat is meowing constantly
89.I can stress about anything
90.however, I like instant gratification
91.I am very close to my mom
92.I wish I was closer to my brother - I am working on this one
93.I want to live in other parts of the country
94.but not yet, my family needs me here
95.I want to be a better person (daughter, wife, friend, sister)
96.I do not have many good friends
97.But the ones I have mean the world to me
98.My friends now would never betray me - as I have experienced in the past
99.I believe in fate and in soul mates
100.I do not hold grudges, rather I try to focus on forgiveness.
2.Never lived more than 15 miles from the hospital I was born
3.I can be very silly
4.I can be very serious
5.I believe in comfort over fashion
6.I am 5'
7.I met my husband when I was 15
8.Married when I was 21
9.our honeymoon was at Disney World, it was wonderful
10.we are still together and are very happy
11.in fact happier than we have ever been
12.My family is very important to me
13.and often try to solve all their problems - rarely does this happen
14.I had four majors before deciding on accounting
15.I still long to do something with psychology
16.I was the first in my family to earn a college degree
17.Daisies are my favorite flower
18.Butterflies are also my favorite
19.they tend to follow me during stressful/emotional times
20.Did not ride a roller coaster until I was 16
21.It was the Texas Giant in Six Flags in Dallas
22.First airplane trip was when I was 18
23.It was my first time to leave the state of Texas and the country
24.When I am stressed I am obsessive about biting off all my nails
25.When I am writing a paper I am the same way about my toe nails
26.no, I do not bite them - I have to clip them
27.although I could physically bite my big toe nail before pregnancy
28.even with being overweight
29.I do not smoke
30.although I have smoked and "smoked" in the past
31.but never as a habit or on a consistent basis - purely social for both
32.and did not try "smoking" until I was 22 - I didn't care for it
33.I have never tried anything harder
34.I do not drink coffee in the mornings
35.instead I crave cold water and drink it all day
36.I like to drink Shirley Temples
37.They remind me of my Grandpa
38.As well as Tin Roof Ice-cream and Root Beer Floats
39.I received my love for ice-cream from him
40.I only drink alcohol on a social basis
41.and when this happens it is normally way too much
42.I am a "love everyone" drunk
43.I have lost more family members than currently survive
44.With every loss I try to focus on improving my life
45.when we lost my father-in-law my husband, then fiancee, and I moved in together
46.when we lost my father we moved up the wedding
47.when we lost my grandpa is when I started looking at going back to school
48.although it took a year before I got my butt in gear
49.I love being married
50.we have grown from mistakes
51.once you realize you really are with a person by choice - things can't help but improve
52.I know I am free to leave - I want to stay
53.I like watching stupid tv reruns before going to bed
54.I like thunder storms
55.I sing in the mornings - not only in the shower
56.mostly made up songs to the cats and my Husband
57.I have six cats - yes way too many
58.they are my furry children
59.we always wanted children
60.but wanted to wait until after I completed my education
61.I think we will be better parents for it
62.I will graduate when I am 36 weeks pregnant
63.I suffer from, and fight, depression
64.I do not like to use medication
65.It makes me feel numb
66.when I am upset, I tend to keep it in and try to stay away from others
67.a stress relief tool for me is a nice bubble bath or a long walk
68.One of my biggest accomplishments is financial independence
69.I sleep with a stuffed pooh bear
70.I get teary eyed with the national anthem
71.I use music as therapy
72.Such as Chicago, Tori Amos, and Sarah McLachlan
73.During hard times I listen to one album over and over
74.This repetition also works with movies
75.my mother and I reached a point of quoting lines from Steel Magnolias
76.it is how we bonded after my grandmother's death
77.I have completed two half marathons for charity
78.these were huge accomplishments
79.My husband met me on the course of the second and cheered me on until the end
80.I want a job that helps the community
81.my favorite thing in the world is being in my husband's arms
82.there is nothing more comforting to me - regardless of the situation
83.I am short enough that he can rest his chin on my head when he holds me
84.I am more of a morning person than a night owl
85.however, I have trouble getting myself to go to bed early
86.I love to take naps
87.I can sleep anywhere
88.unless it is the middle of the night and an Abby cat is meowing constantly
89.I can stress about anything
90.however, I like instant gratification
91.I am very close to my mom
92.I wish I was closer to my brother - I am working on this one
93.I want to live in other parts of the country
94.but not yet, my family needs me here
95.I want to be a better person (daughter, wife, friend, sister)
96.I do not have many good friends
97.But the ones I have mean the world to me
98.My friends now would never betray me - as I have experienced in the past
99.I believe in fate and in soul mates
100.I do not hold grudges, rather I try to focus on forgiveness.
Chemical Days
Today is rainy and yucky.
I am currently at Best Friend’s house. Everyone else (Best Friend’s Husband, Best Friend’s Oldest Friend, and my Sweetie) is busy playing FFXI. Luckily, I have my computer with me. Days like this are good. I love hanging out with these people. They really are wonderful for me.
Yesterday, I was able to leave work at 12:30. This was a wonderful treat after all the long hours of late. I planned to take a long bubble bath and pamper myself. However, since I am still not feeling wonderful, I ended up sleeping for 3 hours. Apparently, I needed it.
Yesterday afternoon and this morning have been hard chemical days. These are hard on my Sweetie. He feels powerless. While this was nothing like any bad days in the past, or even a few months ago, he reacts the same way. He tries anything to make me happy. While I do not like using chemicals even when I am not pregnant, bad days feel harder in some respects now. Perhaps it is because I have not kept up with my walking. Or because I really haven’t taken long bubble baths as I used to – for fear of being too hot. The good news is that I got a thermometer – so I will know for sure.
My Sweetie knows that being around others helps. Even if I swear that I want to live in my closet for a weekend, he will not allow it. Moreover, every time, yes 100%, I end up thanking him for making me get out of the house. While I did not try to stay home today – we are celebrating Best Friend’s Oldest Friend’s B-day. I did start feeling better after getting out and about.
The even nicer part is that Best Friend understands that I am pregnant and tire easily. Because of this, she set her bed up with fresh sheets for me as soon as I feel the need to begin checking for eye leaks.
There will most likely be more than one post tonight. I am in a blogging mood.
I am currently at Best Friend’s house. Everyone else (Best Friend’s Husband, Best Friend’s Oldest Friend, and my Sweetie) is busy playing FFXI. Luckily, I have my computer with me. Days like this are good. I love hanging out with these people. They really are wonderful for me.
Yesterday, I was able to leave work at 12:30. This was a wonderful treat after all the long hours of late. I planned to take a long bubble bath and pamper myself. However, since I am still not feeling wonderful, I ended up sleeping for 3 hours. Apparently, I needed it.
Yesterday afternoon and this morning have been hard chemical days. These are hard on my Sweetie. He feels powerless. While this was nothing like any bad days in the past, or even a few months ago, he reacts the same way. He tries anything to make me happy. While I do not like using chemicals even when I am not pregnant, bad days feel harder in some respects now. Perhaps it is because I have not kept up with my walking. Or because I really haven’t taken long bubble baths as I used to – for fear of being too hot. The good news is that I got a thermometer – so I will know for sure.
My Sweetie knows that being around others helps. Even if I swear that I want to live in my closet for a weekend, he will not allow it. Moreover, every time, yes 100%, I end up thanking him for making me get out of the house. While I did not try to stay home today – we are celebrating Best Friend’s Oldest Friend’s B-day. I did start feeling better after getting out and about.
The even nicer part is that Best Friend understands that I am pregnant and tire easily. Because of this, she set her bed up with fresh sheets for me as soon as I feel the need to begin checking for eye leaks.
There will most likely be more than one post tonight. I am in a blogging mood.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Happy Birthday Brother
Today is my Brother's 36th b-day. He is home and doing well. Unfortunately, SIL is sick so he came out to my house to celebrate. He is doing well, still gaining back his strength. My Sweetie, Mother, Brother, and I had a wonderful evening simply talking. It was great. I, however, still have a cough and this worries my brother. No worries, I am doing much better today.
My Sweetie and I are still debating names, not debating against each other. No, we agree – maybe that is the problem, we agree too much. We have it down to two names – no, I am not telling. One is classic with historic meaning. The other is original. It is a hard decision.
Baby is moving so much lately. It is a very strange experience for me to realize that I am two now. I am never alone. Everything that I do must involve consideration of her. I love it. This realization is more now since her movement has increased. I feel her moving during meetings and I hope that I am not smiling too much. Apparently, she likes the way I sit at work. She is active during this time. This is good since this is when I need her to be active – to remind me about my goals. This reminds me of the Simpson’s episode where Homer puts pictures of Maggie around a sign so that it reads “Do it for her”.
Although my Sweetie felt Baby move twice, he still touches my stomach every chance he gets. This makes me very happy. My Brother was getting a kick out of my princess status and how My Sweetie takes such good care of me.
Tuesday we get to see our little angel again. I cannot wait. I hope we get a definite answer on the sex. Hard to believe another month has passed. Hard to believe it was 22 weeks ago this Saturday that I got pregnant. It seems this pregnancy is going so quickly. There is so much to do. So much to prepare the nursery. Almost enough to make me crazy. On top of this, I have school to keep up with large assignments, which makes sense for the final class in the MBA program. I have class on Saturday from 8:30-12:30 – no sleeping in for me. Then on Sunday, I have a group meeting. This is not going to be the resting weekend that I hoped.
My Sweetie and I are still debating names, not debating against each other. No, we agree – maybe that is the problem, we agree too much. We have it down to two names – no, I am not telling. One is classic with historic meaning. The other is original. It is a hard decision.
Baby is moving so much lately. It is a very strange experience for me to realize that I am two now. I am never alone. Everything that I do must involve consideration of her. I love it. This realization is more now since her movement has increased. I feel her moving during meetings and I hope that I am not smiling too much. Apparently, she likes the way I sit at work. She is active during this time. This is good since this is when I need her to be active – to remind me about my goals. This reminds me of the Simpson’s episode where Homer puts pictures of Maggie around a sign so that it reads “Do it for her”.
Although my Sweetie felt Baby move twice, he still touches my stomach every chance he gets. This makes me very happy. My Brother was getting a kick out of my princess status and how My Sweetie takes such good care of me.
Tuesday we get to see our little angel again. I cannot wait. I hope we get a definite answer on the sex. Hard to believe another month has passed. Hard to believe it was 22 weeks ago this Saturday that I got pregnant. It seems this pregnancy is going so quickly. There is so much to do. So much to prepare the nursery. Almost enough to make me crazy. On top of this, I have school to keep up with large assignments, which makes sense for the final class in the MBA program. I have class on Saturday from 8:30-12:30 – no sleeping in for me. Then on Sunday, I have a group meeting. This is not going to be the resting weekend that I hoped.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Melted Heart
Valentine’s day. Overall, it was a good day. My brother went home from the hospital – VERY good news.
Yesterday started with more simple pleasures. As I have described before, iTrip can be a wonderful invention. My Sweetie pulled next to me during our drive into work while noticeably singing aloud. I turn on the radio to hear what he is listening to – and it was one of our songs. As our cars began to part ways I looked over and saw him signing “I love you always”. I signed it back and had a large smile on my face all the way to work. It made me so happy.
Work was not good. Not at all. I even worked late. An 11 hour day sucks on Valentine’s day. Good thing I left when I did. My Sweetie was about to drive to my work and take me home. I arrived home to a homemade card, the best kind and a large melted chocolate heart. The theme was that his heart melts for me. It was wonderful.
For dinner we had exactly what I was craving – chili cheese dogs. It was so good. We sat together and watched T.V. It was perfect. While it will never top the Valentine’s of 1997, it was exactly what I needed.
Yesterday started with more simple pleasures. As I have described before, iTrip can be a wonderful invention. My Sweetie pulled next to me during our drive into work while noticeably singing aloud. I turn on the radio to hear what he is listening to – and it was one of our songs. As our cars began to part ways I looked over and saw him signing “I love you always”. I signed it back and had a large smile on my face all the way to work. It made me so happy.
Work was not good. Not at all. I even worked late. An 11 hour day sucks on Valentine’s day. Good thing I left when I did. My Sweetie was about to drive to my work and take me home. I arrived home to a homemade card, the best kind and a large melted chocolate heart. The theme was that his heart melts for me. It was wonderful.
For dinner we had exactly what I was craving – chili cheese dogs. It was so good. We sat together and watched T.V. It was perfect. While it will never top the Valentine’s of 1997, it was exactly what I needed.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
The Weekend Comes to a Close
Today my brother was in a new hospital room. This is wonderful. His doctor said he can go home whenever he is ready. Brother is being wise to make sure that his strength returns.
Sleeping last night was hard, cold kept me awake. This allowed for a time during the early morning where my Sweetie and I were awake while lying in bed. A nice short, but strong, storm rolled into the darkness that simply sounded wonderful. If we were sleeping as we normally are during this hour, we would have missed this wonderful sound. As I said before, the simplest pleasures are the best.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. My Sweetie and I have some plans - pending I complete a paper due at 11:00 tomorrow night. I know we are wild and crazy people, but chili cheese hot dogs while watching a DVD sounds perfect.
My Brother made a few comments over the weekend about how happy watching my Sweetie and I make him. You see my Sweetie openly shows his love for my belly and me. Regardless of where we are – home, grocery store, or even a hospital – he can be found caressing and kissing my rounded belly. He is so happy about this baby. He is so passionate about us. He is so confident in our future. He is my Husband.
Sleeping last night was hard, cold kept me awake. This allowed for a time during the early morning where my Sweetie and I were awake while lying in bed. A nice short, but strong, storm rolled into the darkness that simply sounded wonderful. If we were sleeping as we normally are during this hour, we would have missed this wonderful sound. As I said before, the simplest pleasures are the best.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. My Sweetie and I have some plans - pending I complete a paper due at 11:00 tomorrow night. I know we are wild and crazy people, but chili cheese hot dogs while watching a DVD sounds perfect.
My Brother made a few comments over the weekend about how happy watching my Sweetie and I make him. You see my Sweetie openly shows his love for my belly and me. Regardless of where we are – home, grocery store, or even a hospital – he can be found caressing and kissing my rounded belly. He is so happy about this baby. He is so passionate about us. He is so confident in our future. He is my Husband.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Brother Updates!!!
First, I must say I am still feeling pretty crappy. I worked 12 hours yesterday and it took its toll.
Now on to more important things. My brother is doing so much better. This morning we receive a call from the hospital. It was my brother asking when we were planning to visit - he was bored. However, this is huge. Not only is he awake, but also able to talk since all tubes were removed. The even better part? He spent the whole day sitting in his chair. OK that is not the even better part. The best part? They are moving him out of ICU. He would have moved today but there were 9 patients ahead of him waiting on a room. That is fine by me. All that matters is that the doctors are saying he is allowed to move ☺
Now all I have to focus on is getting me better. I am so relieved.
Now on to more important things. My brother is doing so much better. This morning we receive a call from the hospital. It was my brother asking when we were planning to visit - he was bored. However, this is huge. Not only is he awake, but also able to talk since all tubes were removed. The even better part? He spent the whole day sitting in his chair. OK that is not the even better part. The best part? They are moving him out of ICU. He would have moved today but there were 9 patients ahead of him waiting on a room. That is fine by me. All that matters is that the doctors are saying he is allowed to move ☺
Now all I have to focus on is getting me better. I am so relieved.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Pregnancy and Valentine's Day
I was able to work a half day today. That is an improvement. Good news is that my brother is no longer sedated. As of last night, he was conscious when my mother visited. Although he could not speak because of being ventilated, this is a big improvement. Of course, I will keep everyone updated.
One thing I must say is that my Sweetie takes the best care of me. He truly loves me and that is obvious. I am feeling sick and have a big belly, yet he is still interested in me in that oh so nice way ;-)
I have been thinking of how my life is different now that I am “with child”.
~Weight down 4 pounds.
~No longer take Excedrin on a daily basis
~No more in-grown toe-nails – I know TMI
~Increased self-esteem
~Bigger Boobies ☺
~Pregnancy Glow
~Treated like a princess on a daily basis now
~No longer have to suck in my belly – I couldn’t even if I tried – and people like looking at my belly now
~An improved outlook on life
~Falling in love with my Sweetie all over again
I love this. I love being pregnant, I love being a princess. As I write this, my Sweetie is cooking dinner while singing cute songs to me. Not saying that I do this, but this is a good sign that we are soul-mates.
Monday is the eighth anniversary of my Sweetie proposing to me. As he does most things, this was very grand and romantic. No other Valentine’s Day will ever live up to the night he described to 200 strangers how, since he had me, he no longer needed any of his senses. He called me up on stage and lowered to one knee. Needless to say, I said yes. He even had my parents and my god-mother in the balcony watching everything. It was the most romantic and wonderful way to begin the next step in our life.
Life is good.
One thing I must say is that my Sweetie takes the best care of me. He truly loves me and that is obvious. I am feeling sick and have a big belly, yet he is still interested in me in that oh so nice way ;-)
I have been thinking of how my life is different now that I am “with child”.
~Weight down 4 pounds.
~No longer take Excedrin on a daily basis
~No more in-grown toe-nails – I know TMI
~Increased self-esteem
~Bigger Boobies ☺
~Pregnancy Glow
~Treated like a princess on a daily basis now
~No longer have to suck in my belly – I couldn’t even if I tried – and people like looking at my belly now
~An improved outlook on life
~Falling in love with my Sweetie all over again
I love this. I love being pregnant, I love being a princess. As I write this, my Sweetie is cooking dinner while singing cute songs to me. Not saying that I do this, but this is a good sign that we are soul-mates.
Monday is the eighth anniversary of my Sweetie proposing to me. As he does most things, this was very grand and romantic. No other Valentine’s Day will ever live up to the night he described to 200 strangers how, since he had me, he no longer needed any of his senses. He called me up on stage and lowered to one knee. Needless to say, I said yes. He even had my parents and my god-mother in the balcony watching everything. It was the most romantic and wonderful way to begin the next step in our life.
Life is good.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Home Sick :-(
The colds around the office, a co-worker bringing her sick child to work on Monday, and the stress of this week finally casused me to get sick. I fought for two weeks. However, today I woke with a fever, coughing, sore throat, and stuffed nose. FUN!
Work is busy now and me being home doesn't help a thing. Luckily I am ahead of the deadline. I hope I make it to work tomorrow. In order to do that, I must take care of myself today. I am in bed right now with water and kleenex. I even ate breakfast - I had to or I will awake feeling worse thanks to my inner child.
Now it is time for the kitties to do their job and make me all better.
Work is busy now and me being home doesn't help a thing. Luckily I am ahead of the deadline. I hope I make it to work tomorrow. In order to do that, I must take care of myself today. I am in bed right now with water and kleenex. I even ate breakfast - I had to or I will awake feeling worse thanks to my inner child.
Now it is time for the kitties to do their job and make me all better.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Fat Tuesday
My brother is still in ICU. He is no longer sedated through medical means. However, he is not completely coherent. I will feel much better when he is in a hospital room. The bad part is that his b-day is next Wednesday.
I am trying to keep the stress down – however, today it was harder. Today is day 5 of my brother’s hospital visit and it is starting to really worry me. I am working on relaxation techniques and my Sweetie is helping to relax me before going to bed, the best foot massages and reading to my belly.
For now I am very tired and full from a wonderful pancake supper – Happy Fat Tuesday.
Tomorrow we begin Lent.
I am trying to keep the stress down – however, today it was harder. Today is day 5 of my brother’s hospital visit and it is starting to really worry me. I am working on relaxation techniques and my Sweetie is helping to relax me before going to bed, the best foot massages and reading to my belly.
For now I am very tired and full from a wonderful pancake supper – Happy Fat Tuesday.
Tomorrow we begin Lent.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
ESP, Carnaval, and ICU
Unfortunately, since Friday, my life has not been very wonderful. Friday morning I woke up feeling not very well. I know that my body has been fighting a cold for a couple of weeks. I thought about taking an early afternoon.
Once again, my E.S.P. set in. On Thursday, after a 3 hour meeting without food or water, I felt exhausted. I told my Sweetie that I felt as though I would pass out. Knowing I had plans with my Divas that night - he replied instantly that he would pick me up from work and take me to DarkDiva’s b-day gathering. He is always my knight in shining armor without a moment’s hesitation. The evening was very lovely. We gave her a nice pen to use during her classes is pursuit of becoming a doctor.
This leads us into Friday morning. My Sweetie had to take me into work - since we left mine the day before. Due to a shortage in the gas take, the time between our offices took longer than normal. While at work, I suddenly got a fear that he was trying to get a hold of me. I pull out my cell phone – dead. This did not make me feel well. I continue to work assuming that I am overreacting. When I see my Sweetie on im, I am very relieved.
However, it was not my Sweetie that I was receiving. A few minutes later, I receive a call from an outside-unrecognized line. It is my SIL – Brother’s wife (I realize now that I write SIL for both of my SILs – I have two). She tells me that my brother went to the sleep study the night before and that now they were admitting him to the ICU. By the end of the call, she was crying – and very frantic. I told her that I would meet her at the hospital. I e-mail a couple of people and let my boss know the situation – a situation that I was unsure.
I spent the day with my mother at the hospital. The bottom line is that his Carbon Dioxide is too high – this is causing many problems, one is an enlarged heart. I did get a chance to speak with him Friday afternoon – he was sleeping during the morning and mid-afternoon. He was doing well – although still very sick. We left during a shift change for dinner. By the time we returned, he was on a ventilator due to not waking easy enough after falling asleep. From this point, he has been sedated.
My Sweetie and I did not visit the hospital yesterday. However, my mother was there for most of the day. We had plans to baby-sit for Dark Diva while she went to Carnaval. I took it easy during the day – knowing my mom would call if she needed me. I have to make sure that I do not let everything stress me too much. The evening was wonderful with the girls. DarkDiva painted MotoDiva with red and yellow - sans bra. She was beautiful. Along with a red feather headpiece and you have a carnaval outfit. Dark Diva was gorgeous with an Indian type outfit. Neither could walk on normal streets with their outfits – which made them even more irrestible. I cannot wait until next year – I will be there. From what it sounds, I will be painted. The girls were wonderful – a welcomed distraction.
Today, after everyone returned home from the hotel – my Sweetie and I headed back to the hospital. The good news is that brother’s swelling is down (have to assume it is a good sign) – although he is still sedated.
Now I am trying to make sure that everything for this next week is complete as well as relaxing. I will be back at the hospital tomorrow after work. I will not go into the history, but my brother has had a pretty crappy hand dealt to him health wise.
So everyone, please keep him in your thoughts. He will be 36 this month – much too young to go through any of this.
Once again, my E.S.P. set in. On Thursday, after a 3 hour meeting without food or water, I felt exhausted. I told my Sweetie that I felt as though I would pass out. Knowing I had plans with my Divas that night - he replied instantly that he would pick me up from work and take me to DarkDiva’s b-day gathering. He is always my knight in shining armor without a moment’s hesitation. The evening was very lovely. We gave her a nice pen to use during her classes is pursuit of becoming a doctor.
This leads us into Friday morning. My Sweetie had to take me into work - since we left mine the day before. Due to a shortage in the gas take, the time between our offices took longer than normal. While at work, I suddenly got a fear that he was trying to get a hold of me. I pull out my cell phone – dead. This did not make me feel well. I continue to work assuming that I am overreacting. When I see my Sweetie on im, I am very relieved.
However, it was not my Sweetie that I was receiving. A few minutes later, I receive a call from an outside-unrecognized line. It is my SIL – Brother’s wife (I realize now that I write SIL for both of my SILs – I have two). She tells me that my brother went to the sleep study the night before and that now they were admitting him to the ICU. By the end of the call, she was crying – and very frantic. I told her that I would meet her at the hospital. I e-mail a couple of people and let my boss know the situation – a situation that I was unsure.
I spent the day with my mother at the hospital. The bottom line is that his Carbon Dioxide is too high – this is causing many problems, one is an enlarged heart. I did get a chance to speak with him Friday afternoon – he was sleeping during the morning and mid-afternoon. He was doing well – although still very sick. We left during a shift change for dinner. By the time we returned, he was on a ventilator due to not waking easy enough after falling asleep. From this point, he has been sedated.
My Sweetie and I did not visit the hospital yesterday. However, my mother was there for most of the day. We had plans to baby-sit for Dark Diva while she went to Carnaval. I took it easy during the day – knowing my mom would call if she needed me. I have to make sure that I do not let everything stress me too much. The evening was wonderful with the girls. DarkDiva painted MotoDiva with red and yellow - sans bra. She was beautiful. Along with a red feather headpiece and you have a carnaval outfit. Dark Diva was gorgeous with an Indian type outfit. Neither could walk on normal streets with their outfits – which made them even more irrestible. I cannot wait until next year – I will be there. From what it sounds, I will be painted. The girls were wonderful – a welcomed distraction.
Today, after everyone returned home from the hotel – my Sweetie and I headed back to the hospital. The good news is that brother’s swelling is down (have to assume it is a good sign) – although he is still sedated.
Now I am trying to make sure that everything for this next week is complete as well as relaxing. I will be back at the hospital tomorrow after work. I will not go into the history, but my brother has had a pretty crappy hand dealt to him health wise.
So everyone, please keep him in your thoughts. He will be 36 this month – much too young to go through any of this.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Simple Pleasures
After an interesting day – and not in the best of ways – with work, I found great comfort in my evening plans.
As I have mentioned before, sometimes the simplest of dates are the best. For Christmas, my Sweetie gave me a cookbook for Newlyweds. While we are no longer newlyweds, the cookbook is wonderful with traditions and elegant meals. His intent was that our family is starting and he wants dinnertime to be very special.
We have a goal of cooking a meal from complete scratch once a week – this being easier said than done when a pregnant wife does not know what she will want to eat. Of course, this goal also came about this weekend. We shall see how long it continues. While we made out the grocery list over the weekend, we were determined to find something to cook together.
My Sweetie and I arrived home at about the same time. This is very nice. We both started working on the meal. There is something so wonderful about cooking together. It was a nice change of pace for me since recently
I do not help prepare the meal. I am a princess – leave me be.
Seriously, my Sweetie takes great pride in taking care of me.
Cooking together last night was wonderful. We each took care of a needed item without anything feeling like a chore. The results? In less than 30 minutes we made a wonderful meal from scratch. We had pork stir-fry over rice with peanuts. It was so good; because of not only the delicious recipe, but also the way we made the food. This will become a part of our regular routine.
I have to interrupt my post. My Sweetie just called me at work to make me listen to a very silly song. This is something I love about this man. He is so silly. Moreover, a large part of this silliness is how we can be silly together. He can be himself – even when being himself means laughing at lama songs.
After dinner we headed out into the 30 something degree weather for ice cream. Doesn’t everyone think of eating ice cream in cold weather? We settled on Mocha Almond Fudge along with Magic shell, caramel, and chopped nuts. That was so much fun.
I love wonderful dates that involve staying home.
As I have mentioned before, sometimes the simplest of dates are the best. For Christmas, my Sweetie gave me a cookbook for Newlyweds. While we are no longer newlyweds, the cookbook is wonderful with traditions and elegant meals. His intent was that our family is starting and he wants dinnertime to be very special.
We have a goal of cooking a meal from complete scratch once a week – this being easier said than done when a pregnant wife does not know what she will want to eat. Of course, this goal also came about this weekend. We shall see how long it continues. While we made out the grocery list over the weekend, we were determined to find something to cook together.
My Sweetie and I arrived home at about the same time. This is very nice. We both started working on the meal. There is something so wonderful about cooking together. It was a nice change of pace for me since recently
I do not help prepare the meal. I am a princess – leave me be.
Seriously, my Sweetie takes great pride in taking care of me.
Cooking together last night was wonderful. We each took care of a needed item without anything feeling like a chore. The results? In less than 30 minutes we made a wonderful meal from scratch. We had pork stir-fry over rice with peanuts. It was so good; because of not only the delicious recipe, but also the way we made the food. This will become a part of our regular routine.
I have to interrupt my post. My Sweetie just called me at work to make me listen to a very silly song. This is something I love about this man. He is so silly. Moreover, a large part of this silliness is how we can be silly together. He can be himself – even when being himself means laughing at lama songs.
After dinner we headed out into the 30 something degree weather for ice cream. Doesn’t everyone think of eating ice cream in cold weather? We settled on Mocha Almond Fudge along with Magic shell, caramel, and chopped nuts. That was so much fun.
I love wonderful dates that involve staying home.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
"Is that sorry on your breath?" Allison Kraus
Forgiveness, apologies, and mental growth.
Much as an alcoholic will not be able to seek help until ready, the same goes for correcting wrongs or forgiving those wrongs done unto you.
There are many things in my head today. Some are because of hormones. Some are because of the time of year. Next Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. I plan to attend my school’s services during the day. It has been a long time since I walked around with ashes on my forehead. It takes a confidence and pride to do this. I feel this Easter season will prove rather emotional.
I am in a transitional point in my life. This pregnancy brought much reflection and contemplation about my life. Please know that I do not mean to bore you with too many details, I simply wish to discuss the process.
In AA, the eighth step in the 12-step program involves listing those who you wronged and becoming able to reach the point of making amends. I believe this, much like all of the steps, are valid goals for any individual. It takes being in a certain place in your life to complete such a task; you must be confident and have come to grips with the issues at hand. This process cannot be forced. When a person requests an apology, this is useless. A better approach would be to wait, regardless of how hard, for the true apology. Not only will it be more sincere, but will mean more than a forced response. It is much like hearing “I love you” without saying it first; it simply means more.
I also believe that a step that is as important as making amends is the ability to forgive. This can be difficult. Holding a grudge or hatred inside can be addictive. This is not healthy. It takes great inner searching and understanding to forgive. I am not speaking of contacting the person, though sometimes that helps. I mean to get to a place where you can think of the situation without hurt feelings. This takes time.
My Sweetie thinks that I am very compassionate. It is one of the reasons that he loves me so. Part of this involves my ability to forgive. While people may drive me crazy in the short term – I try to not hold any grudges. He believes that when I forgive, I do so as fully as I can, as well as quickly. My life proves this. I can forgive those who hurt me deeply. I will even continue to feel compassionate about their lives and situations.
Through this pregnancy, I have reached forgiveness on many levels, for things that happened years ago – and some more recent. As adults, we carry discontent, anger, frustration, or feelings of failed expectations. Some of these feelings stem back to our childhood. Discovering that parents are simply adults is a hard lesson to learn. My pregnancy is even more profound in this sense because I am the same age as my mom when she had me, I will even deliver in the same hospital. It gives me a completely new perspective on my childhood. When I look back now, I think of the hardships that my parents experienced. I see them as adults – no longer the super heroes with expectations of unrealistic proportions. No, this does not mean that they fell; in fact removing expectations (and associated disappointment) causes them to rise.
Whether it is forgiveness or seeking amends, it takes time. There is no set amount of time to expect either to occur, for yourself or others. However, when you reach the mental growth to accept and stop the dwelling on issues in the past, it feels wonderful. It feels like a weight removed from your chest. Really, it all boils down to life being too short to hold such negative energy inside.
I hope that the second half of my pregnancy proves to provide as much growth as the first half. The growth that I have experienced truly is a transcendence one.
Much as an alcoholic will not be able to seek help until ready, the same goes for correcting wrongs or forgiving those wrongs done unto you.
There are many things in my head today. Some are because of hormones. Some are because of the time of year. Next Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. I plan to attend my school’s services during the day. It has been a long time since I walked around with ashes on my forehead. It takes a confidence and pride to do this. I feel this Easter season will prove rather emotional.
I am in a transitional point in my life. This pregnancy brought much reflection and contemplation about my life. Please know that I do not mean to bore you with too many details, I simply wish to discuss the process.
In AA, the eighth step in the 12-step program involves listing those who you wronged and becoming able to reach the point of making amends. I believe this, much like all of the steps, are valid goals for any individual. It takes being in a certain place in your life to complete such a task; you must be confident and have come to grips with the issues at hand. This process cannot be forced. When a person requests an apology, this is useless. A better approach would be to wait, regardless of how hard, for the true apology. Not only will it be more sincere, but will mean more than a forced response. It is much like hearing “I love you” without saying it first; it simply means more.
I also believe that a step that is as important as making amends is the ability to forgive. This can be difficult. Holding a grudge or hatred inside can be addictive. This is not healthy. It takes great inner searching and understanding to forgive. I am not speaking of contacting the person, though sometimes that helps. I mean to get to a place where you can think of the situation without hurt feelings. This takes time.
My Sweetie thinks that I am very compassionate. It is one of the reasons that he loves me so. Part of this involves my ability to forgive. While people may drive me crazy in the short term – I try to not hold any grudges. He believes that when I forgive, I do so as fully as I can, as well as quickly. My life proves this. I can forgive those who hurt me deeply. I will even continue to feel compassionate about their lives and situations.
Through this pregnancy, I have reached forgiveness on many levels, for things that happened years ago – and some more recent. As adults, we carry discontent, anger, frustration, or feelings of failed expectations. Some of these feelings stem back to our childhood. Discovering that parents are simply adults is a hard lesson to learn. My pregnancy is even more profound in this sense because I am the same age as my mom when she had me, I will even deliver in the same hospital. It gives me a completely new perspective on my childhood. When I look back now, I think of the hardships that my parents experienced. I see them as adults – no longer the super heroes with expectations of unrealistic proportions. No, this does not mean that they fell; in fact removing expectations (and associated disappointment) causes them to rise.
Whether it is forgiveness or seeking amends, it takes time. There is no set amount of time to expect either to occur, for yourself or others. However, when you reach the mental growth to accept and stop the dwelling on issues in the past, it feels wonderful. It feels like a weight removed from your chest. Really, it all boils down to life being too short to hold such negative energy inside.
I hope that the second half of my pregnancy proves to provide as much growth as the first half. The growth that I have experienced truly is a transcendence one.
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