And I let crazy take a spin, and I let crazy settle in

Today – Bug is nine months. She is wonderful. She furniture walks all the time, crawls fast and quiet like a baby ninja, and she has a giggle that can make the worst frown turn upside down.

My Bug, my angel. Nine months ago, she was so tiny. I showed Bug the pictures of her shortly after birth, she loves looking at herself on the computer. She even giggled at the photo of me pregnant in the hospital only hours before she was born. She totally reacted. I love it.

Our day has been so busy.

Sweetie was good at his appointment. The Dr even combined the two appointments (Bug and Sweetie). This was so very nice as the appointments were a couple of hours apart. We did not mind, we were going to go to Sweetie’s go shopping or something and come back for Bug. We were able to get in and get out.

Sweetie was declared healthy, pending his blood work. And while Bug was declared very healthy, she does have another ear infection. We are being sent to the good ‘ol ENT. I hope she does not need tubes.

Now for me, I am not as healthy as my bunch. We knew something was up. I will not tip toe around. I have Graves’ Disease. “Graves' disease is an autoimmune disease characterized by a metabolic imbalance resulting from overproduction of thyroid hormones (thyrotoxicosis).”

"If left untreated, Graves’ Disease can lead to heart problems and problems in pregnancy, and an increased risk of a miscarriage. Severe, untreated Graves’ Disease can be fatal. Thyrotoxic storm is a rare life-threatening condition that develops in cases of untreated hyperthyroidism. It is usually brought on by an acute stress, such as trauma surgery or infection. Symptoms are severe, with a pounding heart, sweating, restlessness, shaking, diarrhea, change in consciousness, agitation and confusion. Congestive heart failure can develop rapidly and lead to death." Not to mention bone density loss that can result in Osteoporosis.

I, basically, have two options. I can take mediation for two years. This could (30% chance) correct my disease and put me into remission. This medicine is not healthy for pregnancy. However, I have read on several sites that if you do become pregnant, there is a dosage that will not hurt the fetus. Although if we take this option, we will make sure to be as safe as possible and postpone our second child. The side effects are Hepatitis, low white blood cells, low red blood cells, joint pain, and itchiness. While these are not common, it is still scary.

The second option, the one my Dr is leaning towards, is radioactive iodine. This one pill, what I took for my scan except in a higher dosage, would essentially kill my thyroid. KILL IT. This scares the crap out of me. I did a lot of research and it seems that you can retain your fertility after this treatment. However, many sites say this is for women past their child rearing years.

The other part that scares me is that I would never again have a functioning thyroid, if the radiation works. The doctor said that I WILL gain weight. I hate this. Not only for vanity reasons, because I admit to those. But I am so close to being in a healthy weight range. I worry that with the next pregnancy I will gain a normal amount of weight, will not be able to get it off, and then have risks of heart disease and osteoporosis (just like with Graves’ Disease) associated with obesity. I would also be on medication for the rest of my life, as I would be in a permanent state of hypothyroidism.

I don’t mind being on medication – ok I don’t like it – but I can live with it. My thyroid “broke” back in 2002, I was diagnosed with a Hypothyroid in the beginning of 2004. I was hypo throughout my pregnancy (and never even had to adjust my medication). Nevertheless, just like how Bug was Breech at week 36 and 37 weeks but flipped at 38, she also flipped my thyroid. After my c-section, I became hyper.

That is why this is an even harder decision to make. Thyroid flipping from hypo to hyper (hypo is where you have trouble losing weight and hyper is where you –in theory – lose too fast) is very rare. The odds of it happening at all is very rare. However, it could flip back. There is no way to know what a second pregnancy will do to my thyroid.

I would hate to do the radiation when my body could correct itself.

Sweetie was with me at the appointment, as well as Bug. I was pretty shaken after. The Dr told me that it is my decision, but she is pushing the killing of my thyroid. We went to breakfast at Kerby Lane and discussed our options. Then, in between appointments, I began my googling of the disease.

We are in agreement. I am going to do a little more research into the medication option. If after the two years it is not corrected, radiation might be the answer. We just do not feel that it is a good first approach.

Sweetie then declared our focus on being healthy. I think this sounds great. There is not a food or herbal cure. However, being healthier could not hurt. We cannot help but believe that a healthier lifestyle could help the medicine. Afterall, this no-meat lent is helping in the “being aware” of our food intake. He is so wonderful.

We did get some green supplements today – we shall see if this helps my energy level.

And since thyroid storm is a risk – “Common clinical presentation includes fever, tachycardia, neurologic abnormalities, and hypertension, followed by hypotension and shock. Because thyroid storm is invariably fatal if left untreated, rapid diagnosis and aggressive treatment are critical.”

This is normally caused by stress or a stressful event. While thyroid storm is rare, so is Graves’ disease. We do not want to temp fate. So, we are also working on reducing my stress level. I am postponing the CPA until my treatment plan is underway – regardless of the option we choose.

What I am doing is focusing on being healthy – continuing my walking and organizing the house. I want to make my lifestyle healthy before taking back on the task of studying.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled to have a diagnosis. I know there are MUCH MUCH worse things to hear from the Dr. I will overcome this.

Just to add, if you discover a disease and your name is anything like Graves – do not name it after yourself. Name it something nice – not after your name when your name means a place for a DEAD body to live ;-)

I must get to bed. I have a long drive tomorrow for my meeting. I also have to give blood first thing in the morning for further thyroid tests.

In case anyone is wondering –
The most common symptoms of Graves’ Disease:
• trouble sleeping - yep
• fatigue - yep
• trouble getting pregnant
• frequent bowel movements
• irritability - yep
• weight loss without dieting - yep
• heat sensitivity – yep (more than normal, still like my blankets)
• increased sweating
• muscular weakness
• changes in vision or how your eyes look – yep (in vision – not how my eyes look)
• lighter menstrual flow
• rapid heart beat - yep
• hand tremors