I am not perfect!

I am at work. Just finished training my temp for the day. I am letting her read over her notes and such before we go any further. We are covering so much and I am hoping that I will not have a lot to clean up once I come back.

JuneBug is moving quite a bit today and I felt her stretch her body completely, foot down and head up. I am going to miss this feeling. In spite of everything, I really do love being pregnant. Although, having my body back will be nice.

Last night I was reminded again why I am with my Sweetie. A ladybug got into the house. Knowing that we have kitties that would like to play with a ladybug, we knew we had to get her out. He took great care to take her off the wall and outside to safety. It made me smile. He is going to be such a wonderful father.

Last week we had dinner with MotoDiva along with Best Friend and her husband. During this discussion my Sweetie let a dirty little secret of mine out of the bag. I could not believe he would say it. I could see the disappointment in my Best Friend’s eyes. I knew her thinking of me changed forever. Luckily, MotoDiva agreed with me and held similar ghosts in her closet. I do not think it changed Best Friend’s thinking any to hear that I was not alone, I think she would expect it from MotoDiva, but from me was too much.

I am the type of person who wants to own up to imperfections. That has been my focus over the last 8 months. So I am here today, May 26, 2005, to confess to the people of the world my secret. Please do not judge me. It took a lot to begin this post.

I, Missy Tolleson, squeeze the toothpaste from the center. I am not a good person who squeezes from the end. This is what my Sweetie considers to be my only flaw, and it is quite a flaw. We have had separate toothpastes for years – due to my sensitive teeth. However, I think the reality is that he could no longer bring himself to correct my mis-squeezings. When I brought home the new toothpaste, he saw it as an out for him, a chance to have his own tube, an opportunity to ignore this flaw. I thought he was ok with our situation and then it becomes dinner conversation. MotoDiva agreed that my flaw was not a sickness and that it is the only way to handle a tube. I consider her brilliant, perhaps it is something brilliant people do, perhaps we simply do not have time to squeeze from the end. Who am I kidding? I attempted last weekend to be a new person and show my Sweetie that I could squeeze from the end. He watched as I attempted such a feat. He laughed at me and asked if that was hard. The truth is that it was hard. I do not think I am ready at this point in my life to change my ways. Perhaps this acknowledgement, and my friends knowing the truth, will be enough to sink in over time. Until then I will hold my head high knowing that I am not alone in the world of center squeezing.

After much confession, I am tired. I think I will head home now. Tomorrow marks another day of growth and learning.