My belly is large today – swelling with child. As her arrival approaches, I find the emotional rollercoaster to change course at a faster rate. I admit when the hormones take over my body. Today is a nice combination of bliss and sadness. I am grateful that today is slow at work. I am listening to my iPod. I love this tool. All of my “therapy” songs are on here. With a simple shuffle, I listen to Allison Kraus followed by Tori Amos and some Venus Hum for smiles (how can you not smile at Montana). Do not get me wrong, this is not a full out low state – I do not feel the urge to hide in my closet. Just a little blah followed by a huge YAY. Good thing emotional roller coasters do not make me as sick as an actual one would at this point – not to mention not being able to fit into the seat – lol.
I use this blog as a journal. While I try to focus on all the good in my life, it out weighs the bad by quite a bit, I do not want to paint a picture of a life seen though rose colored glasses. I still experience my depression – not nearly like at my worst. I am very happy to say that my depression is not as bad as some that I know. I have never thought to take my life, nor to harm my body in anyway (many piercings and a tattoo do not count). I am able to function without meds. However, I have low days where my Sweetie does not know what to do to help me. I digress, because today is not a low day.
Today is a “oh my goodness, I am starting my third trimester this weekend, AND there are only 8 weeks left of class (7 until everything is due), AND we need to prepare the house for a baby, AND there is that registry, AND will I come back to work or be a SHAM (stay at home mom) AND graduation – big party or small, AND are we choosing the right name (much harder to name a baby than a cat), AND what about daycare, AND the CPA, AND AND AND……..
Ladies and Gentlemen, you just witnessed a freak out moment experienced by Missy. The experience is much more animated in person.
I still love being pregnant – I simply have these moments of overwhelming sensations.
I had lunch today with my Sweetie. Completely spontaneous and exactly what I needed. He makes me so happy. That is a fact. There is nothing sweeter than receiving an im that says “wow - i am really missing you right now.” This caused our lunch plans.
I have work to do on campus this weekend. Because my campus is so beautiful and since it will be the weekend before spring break and should be empty, my Sweetie is going to come with me. I love this. I love showing off my school. If anyone has not seen my school I am more than willing to offer tours – heehee. Can you tell that I am proud?
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