Sink Clean - check
Bottles Washed - check
So I am taking a moment to blog. Today I had lunch with my old coworkers, Kimberly and Tiffany. I miss them. However, don't think the AP job will work out there. There are many string that Kimberly (AP Manager) has to go through. While I would still love to work with her, I understand.
My biggest resolution for 2006 is finding myself. I want happiness, I want to feel like I know the path I should be on. Family life is right on track, I am taking about outside of my marriage and family. For many years I was a student. That defined me. Now, while I am studying for the CPA, I don't have that definition. Don't get me wrong, I have the "Mom" title that I adore. I plan to walk more marathons and that might be all that I am looking for. I am much lighter than when I walked 13.1 miles. This year, regardless of what happens job wise, I am getting to know me.
The biggest step is that I am comfortable in my skin. My body is not perfect. However, it helped me walk marathons and have a beautiful baby. I am still working on my weight, my loss slowed with the holidays. I only have 17 more to go. That seems so small compared to the 56 lost. All I want for January is to firm up a little before my bottom shows at carnaval.
Another step in learning about myself is letting go of things. I have had HORRIBLE friends. Friends that if you knew the stories you would want to punch them. Friends that helped me to learn what a real friend is. Friends that, in spite of everything, I still do not hate. Friends that I had to have in order to have the life I have today. I have e-mails from these friends. Conversations that make me sad when I reread them. Words that were written to hurt. Lines I kept to remind me. They stalk me. From their safe folder they taunt me to remember. Things are much too good for me to allow this to happen. Things are so very different from then. Everything is different. These words are a shackle, holding me back from my full potential. Today I am going to delete this folder and all the contents. Today I am letting go. Today is the last step in moving on, releasing the last items that remind me of the past. It is done. Time to focus on people who impress, inspire, entertain, and respect me. Only today matters.
This feels great.
2 comments:
You have grown into a wonderful person. I am very proud of you. You continue to grow and bloom. The past should help to shape us not to hold us back. It is a hard lesson to learn but one that, I believe, you have learned at a very young age. I truly believe that 2006 is going to be a great year for you.
Love,
Mom
Nobody needs girlfriends like those. Yes, delete it or print them and burn them and release the ashes in the wind as a way to signify letting go.
Here's to you having the best year ever!!
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