Blog Block

Blogging has been "less than" lately. I love to blog, I love getting my thoughts out into my own little space, I love that others reading me. But I want it to have more purpose. It is my journal and these are my thoughts. But what is my point? Do I need a point?

The CPA exam is a huge stress for me right now. I have not been able to study as much as I would like. I have been listening to my lectures while working. I have learned that working in a cube has made my ability to zone out to reach a new level. I can completely not pay attention to this boring stuff. I am working on it though. It has to help, maybe it will get into my brain without me having to pay attention.

I think my thyroid is going to be on my mind for the rest of my life. I will wonder if I am hypo, hyper, healthy. I will question every feeling - is it starting again? I test myself to see if my brain is in a fog, BestFriend does the same. I seem to be "on". I don't want to go back on the medicine. I spent 8 months of 2007 over medicated and it was horrible. I don't want that again.

Work is going well. I can not get used to having a boss who listens, jokes, and understands mistakes if you own up to it and put in efforts so things do not happen again. Oh and the big one, he goes to bat for me. I have not had that since HES. It is a strange concept, that people aren't out to get me. And co-worker A is awesome. She takes care of me. If I am having a bad day she brings me diet coke and chocolate. And she talks me up when I am not there - or at least I think she does - there I go paranoid again.

My Bug is awesome. She is smarter by the day. Don't get me wrong, she is not a genius, and I don't want her to be. But her memory is amazing me. And she and I are able to talk now and interact in an awesome way. I love the little hard headed girl that she is. And I worry that everything will change with a second child. I loved being pregnant and I want Bug to have siblings but I worry. This is so much harder than deciding for the first one. And then there is my health, I worry I will have to go through everything I did after having Bug again. And then again, wouldn't it be worth it? When you ask if she wants a baby brother or sister she shakes her head no very dramatically. I think she knows another one would mean sharing. I never wanted a baby brother or sister. I was quite content with being the baby. I knew I didn't share well and never wanted to learn how. So I worry.

And our house. I love our little house. But I do want something bigger, something with more storage. We bought our house thinking we would be there a couple of years. Nine years later we are still there. We love our house. I love how open it is. We just need to organize. I don't want to move only to be stuck with a higher mortgage and find out the maternity leave here isn't what I was told, 100% of pay. And there is so much to do on our house for selling, and the market isn't great. Though based on our neighborhood we could potentially sell for 70k more than what we owe on it, so that makes us happy. We are going to work on getting it sale ready knowing full well we might just decide to stay a tad longer. Plus we have two wild cats we feed, yes I know you feed them and they never leave. We have two inside - two of the most spoiled cats in the world. You would think they never stepped foot outside. As long as they are coming to the back door, I don't see that we can leave. What if the next people don't feed them?

My weight loss is slow. I wish it were faster but I am not about to give up everything in order to lose quickly only for it to come back faster. And I have to remind myself that I am about 15 pounds lighter than SIL#2's wedding. That is awesome. But I feel slow compared to others in our at work group. I have to keep going, each pound makes me healthier. And I am like 38 pounds less than I was at my highest in 2004. All about being healthy.

Sweetie is so awesome with supporting me. He gives me time to get mani/pedis, he offers to take Bug out of the house so I can study, he notices when I clean and makes sure I know how much he appreciates all that I do, and he helps me with my work outs. I am very lucky and I know it.

I know some who are going through rough marriages right now. I hate it. I want to make it better. But ultimately I think if you aren't happy - change something. And if changing doesn't work, perhaps leaving is best. Life is too short to stay in an unhappy marriage. As I say, neutral is not an option. Make your life what you want. Either make the marriage the one that makes you happy or find the life you need to live. Sweetie and I have had rough times. For us making changes and refocusing was the best. BestFriend also went through this and divorce was the best. I just think that being unhappy cannot be an option. That only brings resentment.

I truly am feeling good. I think my thyroid is normal. I am noticing the weight loss. I feel stronger with my workouts. I feel smart at work - I answered an accounting question for my boss today - yep he is a CPA. Things are good. Now I need to focus on paying my taxes - ugh still pissed that we owe, make a plan for home improvements (and a loan if needed), and keep up with my studying. If only I could function on less sleep or create more hours in the day.

This has been long. Thanks for letting me get all of that out. Not sure where this blog is going. That is the nice thing. I am in charge here and I will guide it as we go. Have a great evening. I am going to enjoy the beautiful weather with another installment of my walk/run workout.

doing my part

I had the beginnings of a crappy day. I did our taxes last night. Let me just say - new tax bracket sucks. Oh and owing sucks.

But other than that, yesterday was good. We voted - yep we have done our part until November. This is not a political blog, but I am very happy that my household is an Obama one. We also played in a park, did our grocery shopping, and enjoyed a great lunch.

Then in the evening I started my walk/run program. It consists of running for one minute then walking for three repeating six times. Bug and Sweetie went with me. They are the best. My little coach would run ahead of me and encourage me to keep going. I learned that I can run for a minute without dying or my knee screaming. And I also learned that my 2.5 year old can run damn near 2 miles. My ultimate goal is to catch up to her abilities.

Today is a rest from walk/running. My knee is doing good. I am all about going at this with a slow approach. I am always the most sore two days after a workout - so I will be watching my knee closely tomorrow.

Now I am off to read to my Bug.

Mario Party

We are at Mom's working on some handy man work. Sweetie and MIL are hard at work with plumbing. Mom, Bug and I are trying to stay out of the way. It is a beautiful day. I started it early with a 3 mile walk. That felt great. I took it slow and steady and enjoyed the weather, birds, and myself. I am sore today as I did some weights on Thursday night.

We received good news at work yesterday regarding WW at work. We are continuing if we meet the number required for the meeting. That would mean I would have meetings through 7/11. I think that would help a lot.

Tomorrow I am trying a walk/run program. We shall see if I am ready for it yet. I know that my knee might not be up for it yet. And reluctantly, I am ok with that. But I will never know unless I try.

And a HUGE THANK YOU to Thomas. Your comment made my day!!

I have a ton of studying to do tonight. I was hoping to get some done last night, but I got the worst headache yesterday. Sure enough, it turned into a full migraine. NOT FUN. I have not had one that bad in so long. But I was smart and brought everything with me so I can work from mom's if needed. I am determined to get this damn test over with.

Happy

I am feeling GREAT today and in the best mood ever. I don't know what it is, but I think I might have won my battle over the looming sickness. I want to move my body, eat right, and feel healthy. I went to lunch today with some co-workers and I ate so very healthy. Yay me.

AND the director of Bug's school, the one that has almost caused me to pull Bug from the school. The one who has changed the whole feel of the place. Her last day at our location was yesterday. Today we have a new director. The decision was made yesterday, talk about some fast turn around. I am feeling optimistic about this. I was so so so excited when Bug's teacher told me, it made my evening. If only the solution had been the old director coming back, but I don't think that would happen. So YAY!!!!! That means looking for another school can be put off until June.

check in

I am fighting getting sick. Grrrr. I really want to walk tonight, but I am not sure if I will be able to. I don't want to make myself worse. Some nasty stuff is going around the office.

A co-worker gave me the starter for the amish friendship bread. It is a 10 day process. At the end you have bread you get to eat and 4 more starters to give away. Today is day 10. I have no idea who to give my 4 starters to. It is like an edible chain letter.

I am having such trouble getting back into eating right and exericsing. I didn't take that long off, exercise 1 week and eating 3 days. But it still seems harder to get back into it. I think I just need a relaxing evening. Perhaps tonight will be the night for that.

Short and sweet. I also started my review for the REG section of the CPA last night. We shall see.

Happy Birthday Brother!

Happy Birthday Brother!!! I had a great time celebrating your b-day with you tonight. Thank you for including me.

And I swiped this from SIL#2, it is so very true: "You're 6:49 a.m.
You're the time of day right around sunrise, when the sky is still a pale bluish gray. The streets are empty, and the grass and leaves are a little bit sparkly with dew. You are the sound of a few chirpy birds outside the window. You are quiet, peaceful, and contemplative. If you move slowly, it's not because you're lazy – it's because you know there's no reason to rush. You move like a relaxed cat, pausing for deep stretches that make your muscles feel alive. You are long sips of tea or coffee (out of a mug that's held with both hands) that slowly warm your insides just as the sun is brightening the sky."


Bug is doing better, much better actually. She started feeling better yesterday, though I am so glad I kept her home the one extra day. She is acting silly again, eating again, and no more fever. YAY. Today was spent watching her closely making sure no relapse as of yet. It was rainy so I did not get my walk in. I hope to get it in tomorrow. We did enjoy watching the rain. And when it stopped the birds came out. We received a bird feeder for Christmas. It was my favorite gift, as silly as it sounds. It is simply so peaceful to watch the birds feed. Today was filled with little red birds.

Tonight was a lot of fun. Brother, a friend of his, BestFriend, Sweetie, and I all went out. The evening consisted of shuffle board, pool, laser tag, rock wall, bowling, and much laughing. It was a lot of fun and I cannot believe that I am still awake at this hour. Best part of the night "it's a pickle" from BestFriend who bit into a fried pickle that she thought was cheese.

I have eaten very badly this weekend. I did it with the excuse of Brother's b-day. But I know the truth is from the stress of the week. No excuses, just time to get back on track.

Plus my mom got a great check up this past week. I can't let her be healthier than me now can I?

So goals for this next week include studying, exercising, and eating healthy.

where I start to lose my mind

Home again for the 4th day. Bug is finally starting to do better, FINALLY. Yesterday her fever was back to 102. But I think the antibiotics are finally kicking in as she is being her silly self this morning. That brings much relief. Working from home, going in late at night and before the sun is up, just plain sucks. I feel like I am a world away from my peeps. Luckily I have a great boss. I have to keep reminding myself that he is not asshole boss. I am going in this weekend to get ahead. Bug and I tried to make a trek to work a few minutes ago. She was all ready and wanting to get out of the house. Of course, she fell asleep on the way. I came back home and she woke up. Grrr. I think we will try again in a little bit. She is dying to get out of the house and she is no longer contagious.

I have been worried about Bug, not sleeping well, trying to keep myself healthy, and trying to make sure that I keep up at work. Not fun. I woke this morning annoyed at the world. I check the calendar and there isn't a reason for me to be bitchy, at least not that kind. I keep dreaming about an ex-friend who treated me very badly. This frustrates me. I know how I have changed since her. In my dreams I am the way I used to be. Maybe that is to point out how much I have changed, I don't know. But she keeps getting in my head. And then I get a message on m*y*S*p*ace about this ex-friend. No, I do not know what she is up to now. Just like the creditors who call for her, I don't know. It has been so long since I even talked to her. Everything is different.

Tomorrow is Brother's b-day. Tonight is the family celebration - need to clean. Tomorrow is the fun adult outing. This sounds like fun. I just hope Bug is up for it.

And I am bitchy. I am not even fully enjoying it being Friday because it doesn't feel like it to me. I have not been working out this week. I need to make sure that I get a 4 mile walk in this weekend.

But my Bug is being so good. And she is starting to act like herself again. She is a silly silly little girl. I think along with some good napping, cleaning, and pampering, we need to make sure to get out of the house. And as I write this she just came up to me and "got me" and we had to dance. That was a nice little reminder.

And because I hate being negative on my blog - here are some pictures to thank you for your time.
Cross at church during Ash Wednesday Service: DarkDiva the BellyDancing Queen: Bug feeling better - yes she is chewing on her tongue: And this is the picture I get when I ask to take a picture of her with her balloon:

still sick

My little Bug is still sick. Her fever was at 102 this morning, grrrr. We went to the Dr today. She has to be home tomorrow too. That sucks as she has a valentine's day party then. I worked from home yesterday and went in last night. I went in this morning and looks like I have to go back tonight. Sometimes the balance between mom and work just plain sucks. I am just lucky that I have the ability to work from home.

sick

So much to post. Friday night we went and watched DarkDiva belly dance, simply beautiful. Saturday started early with the 6k, brunch, and a much enjoyed 3 hour nap. That evening Sweetie and I planned to enjoy a date night. Bug still has not forgiven us for leaving. She would not let us go for our date. Before we even got to the point of saying good bye she went to Sweetie and said "no leave me daddy". The evening was still fun. It just proves that a plan B is always good. Sunday was the normal errands and getting ready for the week.

Bug has been fighting getting sick. All last week we watched her, her teacher watched her. We expected her to get sick by like Wednesday. Over the weekend she seemed to be doing better but not 100%. The thing is that she was not sick sick, no fever, no real bad cough - she gets an allergy cough, and her energy was high. This morning when we dropped her off she was good. She waved to us from the play ground and seemed happy.

Come 2:30 and I get a call from her teacher. She didn't have a fever but she wasn't feeling well. She was screaming if anyone looked at her, she didn't eat, and she woke from her nap unhappy. When I picked her up she was crying. As soon as she got in my arms she put her head down to sleep. She didn't feel like she had a bad fever, but it is hard to tell with her. Sure enough when I got home she was at 101.3. She has not been over 99 all last week. She got some meds in her and is now sleeping. And all week I have taken my temp along with her, to show her "mommy does it too". Mine all last week was 98. Yep, I am close to 100 now. Grrrr.

Needless to say, Sweetie says no working out tonight for me. Now I must make sure I get better so I can get Bug better. I think I am going to have to work from home tomorrow.

SRC Day 7: Walk 2 miles - complete

My Friends Hurt

I have friends who hurt. It is in my nature to want to make it all better. In 2006 I experienced my worst depression. I have come so far. I can see that. But I am not solid yet. To tend to my mental, spiritual, physical and emotional health sometimes means that I go inward. I am an introvert. And when I am working on myself I don't want distractions and I don't want to bother others. Add in that I love my family and cannot get enough time with them, and I sometimes come up as a lacking friend. I do not mean to be. I adore my friends. And if I could take away all of their pain and give them a lifetime of happiness, I would. I offer what I can. And if that isn't enough, I am sorry. I have been hurt by friends so I am cautious to trust. My good friends understand this. They understand that I am focusing on my health, on the CPA, and on making sure that I stay doing great. But I still feel guilty about not always being there.

If only there were more hours in the day, if only I could do everything I want to do.

It just seems that most everyone I love is going through a rough time right now. Be it sadness, divorce, struggling to understand one's purpose, fighting for a marriage, lonliness, or just a bad day, it is all over my peeps' lives.

And I hate to admit it, but I am human. I can only do so much, offer so much, and get in so deep. That doesn't mean don't vent to me, converse with me, or seek me as support. I LOVE all of that. All I am saying is that if I am taking time for me, I will let you know. If it isn't a good time, of if I am feeling overwhelmed, I will tell you. That probably doesn't make sense, it does to me. What I mean is please come chat, talk, and vent. Don't worry about it being too much, I promise to let you know if it is. Yes, I think that finally came out right.

Right now I know I am in an inward phase. This means my friends will need to do the contacting because I will not be good at it. I am the worst at returning phone calls or emails. Those who love me understand this. This does not mean that I don't want to chat, to hang out, or make plans. All it means is that I am focused right now and I know myself. It is so easy to say "oh I am thinking about so-and-so" and not follow through. I am not making excuses, just being quite honest.

My point? Oh yes, my friends. They are going through rough times. I am so very greatful that I am in a good place right now and I can try and offer some help.

Sometimes it just sucks being an adult and facing adult issues.

SRC Day 6: Rest - complete

SRC Day 5: Walk 2.5 miles - complete

SRC Day 4: P90 circuit 1-2 - complete

SRC Day 3: Walk 3 miles - complete

taking control

I know my blog has been boring lately, talking about happy things and so on and so forth. But here is more :-)

When I received my news on Thursday about my thyroid, I was so very happy. I cannot describe what it did to me. While there is a part of me that is nervous that in May I will be back to Graves', most of me is relieved. I feel so different. BestFriend can tell the difference when I am off and assured me before I received the results that I was normal still.

So no excuses. No excuses for not losing weight, for not being able to concentrate enough to study, for not having enough energy to keep up with things (though I have not had the extreme tiredness since getting off my meds at the beginning of Sept). I have said many times before that neutral is not an option. Not with my health, my marriage, my career, my family.... You get the idea. Idle is not productive.

But what really gets me is the impact of that call. I am so motivated to study now. Though I am blogging instead of cracking the books, but Bug is at the end of a nap and might wake any moment, and I want some quality me time. I feel like I can do anything right now. Not that everything is perfect, it isn't and never will be and quite frankly, I don't want it to be. But I feel solid, that is the only way to describe it.

With my diet I am not focusing on being thin thin. Hell, I am not even focusing on the weight guidelines from WW. Instead, I want to get to a certain number, what I weighed when my thyroid broke. My body loved that weight, as I maintained it for a number of years. It is still considered overweight, and I don't care. That might sound odd as I keep promoting healthy lifestyles and such and being overweight is a health risk and associated with several diseases. My thinking is that the BMI calculation is so flawed. If IronDiva is considered overweight, and OMG she is sooo not overweight, then there is a flaw. It doesn't take into account muscle. So if I get to this weight and I am active and feeling good that is all that matters. And so I am starting my third week of actually following WW and tracking my points and planning.

With weight loss there is needed exercise. Tell me to do an aerobics class three times a week to lose weight and I will not attend. Tell me that I need to complete a certain number of miles in a week to complete a race, I am totally there. I need a training schedule and a goal. There is something about my walking. I weighed 30 pounds heavier when I started training for the halves and was a little over 20 pounds heavier when I completed my second. When I walk I feel able, I feel healthy, and I feel peaceful. Yesterday started my 100 days to the end of the Spring Race Challenge. In my schedule Fridays are rest days. So, yesterday was easy to accomplish. I did not workout and so I was successful. Today is day 2. I did two workouts for all intents and purposes. We took MIL and Bug to the park. We played, climbed, crawled, ran, and kicked the ball. It was a good workout. However, it was not what I had on my training schedule to do. After the fun, Bug went to sleep. MIL and Sweetie went out to spend some time together and I stayed with Bug. If Bug takes a nap at home chances are that I will nap with her. If she has slept at home, I think I have taken a good 99% of the naps with her. Not today. Though I was tired and sleep would have been fun, I took the opportunity to work out. I did my p90 cardio 1-2 workout with abs. After a nice shower, I feel refreshed and accomplished.

Not only that but before getting together with MIL, I decided to clean and organize our bathroom. Our bathroom is not the guest bathroom so it gets put on the back burner. Today I decided I had enough and I did something about it. I feel so accomplished today.

SRC Day 2: P90 Cardio 1-2 & abs - complete

Go Red for Women

Today is the American Heart Association's Go Red for Women Day. Are you wearing your red? Heart disease is the biggest killer of women. I feel strongly about this. I am lucky that healthy hearts run in my family, but I have to take care of myself. I am wearing red. Much like my involvement with cancer fighting charities, I feel this one is important. Both promote healthy lifestyles. And truly, I believe that is one of the main factors in our fight.

Not only am I wearing red, wearing my red dress pin, and my American Heart Association "Start" pin, but Mom and I are also giving blood today. Remember every 8 weeks you can give blood. And everytime you give blood, you save two lives.

So give blood, exercise, and eat right. Yes, that is the focus today. Plus I lost 3.2 pounds this week at weigh in. WOO HOO. I am doing good. This weekend is going to be about relaxing, exercising, studying, and trying to be productive. Sounds fun, huh?

SRC Day 1: Rest - complete

Hopeful Remission

Quick blog. Got blood tested yesterday. I am NORMAL AGAIN. 5 months no meds and I am normal. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! I go back end of May. So 4 months this time. I think if I am normal again they will use the remission word.

Bottom line - no reason that I should not study and pass the CPA.

NORMAL feels so good.

BestFriend proves herself

What will get me and my family up at 5am on a Sunday? Not much. But one person can. Even when she says that I don't need to, that it isn't expected, that I am silly, I do it. Mom even came as a surprise. What was the event? BestFriend's first Half Maraton. Oh ya, that is big.

The celebration started yesterday. Well, first backtrack a little. This past year has been probably one of the hardest of her life. She went through a divorce and has had to do a lot of self-valuation. She and I met in Dec 2001 and hit it off right away - though the story is that I hated her at first. She was a complete change from my friend at the time. She supported me from the very beginning in anything I set my mind to.

When she decided to do the 3M Half Marathon I told her that I would not train for it. She was at my second half marathon, the main one. The best part of my race was seeing her on the route in a big green hat cheering me on. We do a lot of 5ks. She is a runner and I am a walker. This means that she is there when I cross the line, but I don't get to cheer her on. And with the 5ks that I have sat out, I have always missed her crossing. So I told her that this one was all about her.

She wanted to be alone yesterday. I would not stand for it. She needed to make today a big deal, she needed to recognize how big this is for her. So I kidnapped her. We picked up her race packet first (OMG when you do a 3M marathon you get SOOO many post it notes). Then we went to the Bazaar to try on wigs. BestFriend bought me a pink wig. We had too much fun. After this we needed a snack, off to Starbucks we go. On the way I put my wig on. When we got out of the car and I left it on, BestFriend was a little surprised. Yep, I wore it all day. After a quick stop a toy store we headed to a day spa for a mani/pedi. BestFriend put on her purple/gold wing on for this. It was so funny and so silly. After our hands were soft and toes pretty, we went to an early dinner at Kerby Lane, with the wigs on, of course. Now this is Austin, people have strange colored hair all over. We got the most looks at KerbyLane where the waiters have piercings all over, tattoos all over, and strange hair - so funny.

This morning began at 5am. At 5:30 I checked on Bug to see how she was. If she was sleeping soundly I would have Sweetie and Bug meet me at the finish. I told BestFriend I would take her to the race. She needed loving support right beforehand. But Bug was awake. She was ready to go. So Mom, Bug, Sweetie, and I all took BestFriend to the start. This turned out to be perfect as the parking was crazy and this way she didn't have to worry about it and we dropped her off near the start.We then went to near the 5k point, 3.1 miles. I wanted to see her early on, to see how she was holding up. Here is Mom and Bug waiting for BestFriend: Here is BestFriend at close to 3.1 point: Then we moved around the 10th mile marker: And last but not least, the finish line, picture courtesy of Sweetie who went to the 3rd level of a parking garage so he could get her crossing the finish line: She was hoping for a time less than 3 hours. She did less than 2.5 hours. She is amazing. I am very proud of her. It was a great weekend. I am so happy to be a part of such an important event for her.

Got some walking to do

Tomorrow is weigh in. I have been SO good. I am not expecting a huge loss, as I have no idea where my thyroid is right now, but I am feeling in control of myself and that is good. AND that is even with Girlscout cookies in the house. I think the main difference is what happened on vacation. We walked a lot and I thought a lot and I am pretty comfortable in my skin. I am not losing weight because I don't like myself or how I look. I am losing weight to be healthier for Bug. Realizing that changed everything. It doesn't matter if I get skinny skinny if I am healthier overall. And I can't say "oh I want to lose this much before getting pregnant" because I was 30 pounds heavier when I got pregnant with Bug.

I am back on the CPA bandwagon. Not sure when I will test, but I need to get it done. My boss and I were discussing it and I am tired of listing my reasons, as good as they may be.

And I found a Spring Distance Challenge that I want to do. It is 5 races (5k,10k,5k,10k, and a 5k) from 3/15-5/10. Add in the Cupid Challenge in Feb, and I am going to be set with my walking.

So my focus is going to be studying and walking. I normally put off the walking to "study" but this time I know I need to walk to be healthy in order to test properly. Now I just need to figure out when to do all of this. I think my lunches will be spent doing problems. Hey that does give me about 5 more hours a week of studying. I will figure it out. The most important thing is that I have the BEST family in the world as far as support and helping me with my goals.

such a monday

I am not having a bad day per say. But it is having its moments. We woke up a tad later than we were doing last week. Bug wanted to play and snuggle - not that there is anything wrong with that, we had fun and made sure to squish her properly. But things were off.

And everything hits at once. Our dryer is making strange noises, our lawn mower is dead, our hot water heater is making noises I don't like - though Sweetie assures me that they are the normal sounds. The house is unorganized. I need to start studying for the CPA again and I feel overwhelmed with organizing the house instead of sitting and studying. I know it is procrastination.

The vacation was everything I could have hoped for. Our renewal was beautiful. The surprise was amazing. But now back into reality. I had a semi sad day yesterday. Nothing horrible. But I planned a brunch with my friends and I didn't get to enjoy their company as much as I would have liked. Just an off day.

Today is gloomy outside. It makes me want to crawl onto my couch with a blanket, a Bug, and a Sweetie. And my training for my 10k needs to start this week. Of course, during the week of cold and wet.

Something interesting. I was looking through spreadsheets and found my weigh in from last year. I weigh the same today as I did last year. Just when I thought I had failed and gained weight, I didn't. I may not have lost, but at least I didn't gain. And considering my thyroid roller coaster, it makes me very proud. But it was also a reminder that the scale is not all that. While I am still doing WW and they still focus on weight, I am not focusing on the weight I need to be. I am focusing on one goal at a time and then moving on. I walked so much and did so much on my vacation that I feel much more comfortable in my skin.

Tonight I am hoping to work out and get some chores complete. Add in some snuggles, giggles, hiding, running, "play me"s, and a huge bubble bath and I will be in heaven. This weather is making my skin so dry, I want nothing more than to lather myself in lotion after our bath.

I am feeling better. I am not going to let sadness get to me. Nope nope.

Saturday Fun

I am feeling great today. We slept in a little, ate a wonderful breakfast, did a little shopping, and now back at home for lunch and a nap. Tonight is going to be a fun. SIL#1 and Brother's dog had puppies yesterday and we are going to see the puppies and celebrate her b-day.

I am back on track with my eating. And I am feeling good for it. I was a little worried. Co-worker A got sick on Wednesday and missed two days of work because of it. She was sick sick and I was worried I would get it. So far so good. I just hope she feels up to coming back on Monday.

And I leave you with a photo from the renewal.

almost back to normal

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIL#1!!!!

Getting back into the normal routine is hard enough on us adults, it is even harder on a 2.5 year old who doesn't understand what happened. I have been exhausted since getting back. Today was the first day that I felt half way normal and right now I am beat. I know it is the adjusting. Adjusting back to work, back to reality, back to the cold, shut it - cold for Austin. All three of us have been going to bed very early.

We walked so much over the vacation and I desperately want to keep that up. Tomorrow is weigh in. I have missed three weeks worth of weighing in. I am down from when I left on my vacation, but up slightly still due to Christmas. That is how it works. I am not beating myself up for it, I am proud of the vacation lack of weight gain.

Two weeks until I get my blood work done again, yep right back to reality. We toyed with the idea of trying to get pregnant over our second honeymoon, but thought better of it as we are still not out of the 6 month waiting period since stopping my meds. And I do want to know where my thyroid is now. I tell you deciding to have the second is so much harder than the first.

I have had several people ask where the photos are. The last two nights we did nothing productive. We ate, played, and went to bed. Hopefully I can get on this weekend and add them to my flicker, too many to post here.

And what the hell happened while I was gone. We went through Atlanta and met some of the rudest people working at the airport. And while no one was truly rude to us in Barbados (less one time at the bus station, but we aren't dwelling on that) and the cruise, I was missing my Austin niceness. Since I have returned I have only come across rudeness. Seriously did something cosmic happen?

It is time for me to go and get my little girl. She grew so much while I was gone. I missed her so much. I know - everyone should be SHOCKED by that. Have a great evening and I will let you know when more photos are up for viewing.

almost back to normal

Today was good. Bug and I had a relaxing day. Grocery shopping complete, laundry in the wash. I took a small nap but am still exhausted.

This was the back drop to our renewal ceremony. And here we are after our day walking at St Martin/St Maartin - over 9 miles to the airport.Many more pictures to come. We have 735 so far, and over 200 still to upload.

Home again Home again

We got home at 11 last night. We started our travels home at 4am (2am home time). That makes for 21 hours of travel time. I am home today in attempts to regroup and recoup. We need laundry done and I need to go to the grocery store.

I am still in a blissful state from my vacation. More stories to come. Here is the low down - in bullet form, of course.

• 4 days in Barbados
• 4 lighthouses
• walked a ton
• 7 day cruise on a huge 5 sail sail-boat
• six days of beautiful islands
  
• saw beautiful rain forests
• renewed our vows at sunset on the boat with the captain
  
• great showers
• great food and naps
• zip-lined through the St Lucia Rain Forest. SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!
• So grateful for all of the help at home. I don't know how we will ever express our gratitude.
  
• And it looks like I didn't gain any weight on my 11 day vacation. And believe me I ate a ton, guess all the walking paid off.
  

More to come.

Check in

We are GREAT, safe happy, and SO IN LOVE. Details to come, of course. Internet is slow.Sweetie won a bottle of rum tonight with a limbo contest. We have been having OUR kind of vacation, no stress, laid back, tons of walking, tons of talking, tons of pictures, and great sex. What else could I ask for during my second honeymoon.

leaving on a jet plane

And the anniversary fun begins. I just got back from work and making sure everything is set, yep it is after 10:30.

Happy 2008

Last night was a lot of fun. We laughed, drank, talked, reminisced, drank more, and had a great time. And my pain wasn't too bad this morning. Nothing a diet coke and sausage kolaches couldn't fix. It is so funny to meet up with friends that you have not seen in 15 years. Today was the normal dinner with black eyed peas and a nice nap.

I am so excited about 2008. Not only is my anniversary two days away, but we are hoping for continued health, happiness, and family time.

I have pictures to post, just need to upload them.

OK off to bed.

New Years Eve

Good news is that after spending over 6 hours yesterday looking for a dress, and coming up with NOTHING, I left early today and found TWO. And I only spent $30. Right on.

AND the day gets better. A. from work loves me so much that she replaced her phone and gave me her old one. She gave me her LG500 phone. SO VERY AWESOME.

AND the day gets better yet. Brother has an old friend that now lives in Alaska. She has been visiting Texas and family. Tonight it turns out she is in town and he is having her over. We have not seen her in a very long time. And she has her husband and baby with her. Tonight is going to be fun. We are going to stop in at SIL#2's for a bit and then head over to Brothers. I know SIL#2 will be disappointed, but I am sure she will understand as she has done the stop in and move on to another party thing several times - including the first year we were in our house. So it is understood - and we have no idea when we will see Brother's friend again. Nothing like last minute planning.

Great day: productive at work, get a cool phone for free (still trying to figure out how to repay her), time with Bug and Mom, found two dresses, get to see family, and get to see old family friends.

Everyone have a happy and safe New Years.

contemplations

The holidays have been very surreal. I thrived on Bug's reactions to my favorite time of year. And while it was a longer Christmas season, it seemed to pass too quickly to do all that I wanted. And with our anniversary coming up, my focus has been on that.

What do you get the man who makes you happier than anyone else, who knows you better than anyone, who fights for the survival of "you" on a daily basis? The traditional gift is tin/aluminum. Does a can of Mountain Dew really speak my emotions?

Speaking of emotions.... If it wasn't for the little pill that I am on right now, I would swear I was pregnant. I have been crying at ANYTHING. And it doesn't even have to be something I see, just a thought can send me off. It has not been depressed crying - though I did have my normal couple of days in the season where I wanted to crawl into my closet and not come out. Though that was fleeting.

This year I am simply overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with happiness. I feel like everything is going so well. I love it when A at work makes gagging noises when she hears Sweetie and me on the phone, I love it when I hear people say that we are made for each other. I love how hard we have fought and focused and prioritized to get to this point. Ten years ago we were different people. We were young and stupid and yes, in love. We were insecure and didn't even know it. The last 10 years have played like a novel. We have had heartache, feeling lost, losing loved ones, excitement, bliss, sadness, happiness, and the most important, laughter.

Where was I going? I am a very date oriented person. I am a very controlling person. This has not been the case as much lately. Sweetie has something planned for our anniversary. I have no clue what it is. I am not trying to solve the puzzle and ruin the surprise. I have been walking without a stopwatch. And I have been accepting my weight and not letting myself ruin this time in my life because of a stupid number on the scale. This may not sound big, but for me, this is huge.

We still have 4 days in 2007. I am at the point in the year where I look back, think of resolutions and how to improve. 2007 is the year of the Boar. Since BestFriend was born in the year of the boar, she chose the theme of the year - concurring fear. So what have I done with my year? I went to the blog blowout and met fellow bloggers in person - something I would never do. I completed five 5ks. I made the decision to do the RAI - scariest of all only to find out I didn't need it yet. I met old friends and I allowed myself to open up at work and trust people again.

If you know anything about me, you know that I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. This goes for good and bad. Not so much as a "you did something bad so now you have cancer", but in a this lesson is here for you to learn from, this heartache will lead to something more. I never claim to have the answers as to what the reason is. But it is what keeps me going, it is my faith. Take my disease. I do not know where I am right now, could be in remission could be back in Graves'. You have to let go of control with something like this. And just when I thought I had control and the upper hand, the tables turned and I found out quickly that the control that I thought I had was a mirage. I firmly believe that one of the reasons I have this experience is to teach me to let go, that I cannot have control. And most importantly, control does not mean happiness.

I said that the decision to move ahead with the RAI was the scariest thing done this year. That isn't true. The scariest thing was not looking over my shoulder at every turn, to stop waiting for the next big fall. Sweetie gave me a reminder coin to carry with me for my b-day. It says "faith". To trust, to have faith, to let go of control is very very scary. But, for me, it is the only way to find true happiness. It is the only way to live my life with my soul-mate where we will never again accept neutral as an option and we laugh daily.

Wow, I didn't expect that to be so long. I guess it has been coming. Thanks for listening. And to reward you putting up with my ramblings, here is a photo (there was going to be a video but it is taking too long, I will try again later):

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christmas was a lot of fun this year. Sunday during the day BestFriend and I got mani/pedis - that was a ton of fun. The night was at Brother's and much fun as Bug kept saying "shake your booty". It is quite cute. Last night was at SIL#2's. It was a lot of fun. Unfortunately we were a little late and had to leave earlier than we wanted due to Bug and needing her to get to sleep before Santa could come. Today was Christmas morning at home. Bug was happy to see her "Blue Bike" and trains from Santa. The remainder of the day was at Mom's. We enjoyed a long nap, dinner, and played a game. It was a lot of fun. It was a very relaxing Christmas.

As much as I love the holiday season, I am so happy to see it come to a close. Back on eating right and exercising tomorrow. I am not out to lose weight - I simply want to lose my weight gain from the last couple of days - I have been oh so bad.

I can now focus on anniversary and whatever is planned, still no clue - but that is ok. I have to buy a new dress. You know that Seinfeld where Elaine buys a dress and it looks so good in the store and when she got it home it didn't look the same. That is what happened to me. Well, that but not as bad. It looks good, but I don't feel as sexy as I did when I tried it on. This next weekend will be back at the stores looking for something else. No worries.

Since tomorrow is back to work, I need to make this short.

And I helped.....

I told you that we were busy through Christmas and right now is no exception. But first let me catch you up.

Thursday, Bug and I went to the mall to get Sweetie's Christmas. We were walking in one of the department stores and she was holding a cup of snacks and a bag of snacks from school. Yes, my child is spoiled and yes this is relevant as it paints the picture. So we were walking side by side without holding hands as hers were full. She looks very "big" when we walk like this. So the conversation went like this:
Me: What does Daddy want for Christmas, Bug?
Bug: Noise. (as a matter of fact as she can be, as if this was all thought out)
Me: Noise?
Bug: yeah, noise.... ahhhhhhh (insert noise we make when getting "gotten" after hiding or being tickled)
Me: Yes, that does make Daddy happy, I guess noise it is.
Just too damn cute!

Yesterday, was my parents 34th wedding anniversary. Mom and I like to celebrate things like this so we went to see P.S. I Love You. We really liked the movie and cried the whole time. Finish the evening with some Starbucks and girl talk and you have yourself a great time.

Today, we went to MIL's to snow the yard. Unfortunately, the wind had other ideas and it didn't turn out quite as we hoped. But the good news is that Bug had a great time.

Tonight was the Nutcracker. It was at a new location. GRRRR! It was disappointing, some of the main things that we love, like the live symphony, were not included. AND they were sold out of nutcrackers. But that didn't stop us from having a great time. Our date is "complete" and we are working on wrapping presents. You might ask why I would blog on a date night and more importantly how can I blog when I am wrapping presents? My sweet sweet husband has a side of OCD. He likes presents wrapped a certain way. While I am the more analytical one, I simply do not take as much care as he does. It drives him a bit batty to watch me wrap. So I am helping by putting the gifts into piles, watching It's a Wonderful Life, and cheering him on.

Tomorrow is pedicure with BestFriend and Christmas Eve Eve with Brother. We must wrap, clean, bake, and buy the last present or two. So much to do.

If I don't get back on before, everyone have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Christmas has begun

OK since we are busy like daily through Christmas, my posts will most likely be short and to the point.

We had my party on Friday and Sweetie's was tonight. Before the party I decided to get my hair cut. YAY I feel like I am me again. I didn't go as short as I was 10 years ago, but it is shorter than I have been in some time. What else is new this week? I woke up early yesterday and today and worked out. YAY me. And this morning I didn't start my stopwatch as I started my walk, I hit the button but it didn't start and I didn't notice as it was dark. And it didn't bother me. That is big for me. I am doing so much better with my control issues. I am letting go of perfection. I tend to expect too much of myself and then when I don't meet my own self made standards, I beat myself up for it. Stupid really. But I am working on it and have seen huge changes. I am sure a longer post will come soon with more explanation. But for now let's just say that with the anniversary coming up, I am doing a lot of looking back and looking forward. I weighed less when we got married. But everything that I am most proud of in the last 10 years happened when I was at this weight or higher so I have to let go of the idea that the scale will somehow make things better. Things are great now and I am healthy and happy - what more could I ask for? I am focusing on a healthy loss that I can maintain. I am focusing on making memories.

Tomorrow night is our last free night until Christmas. We need to finish shopping and start wrapping.

I am feeling so good that I feel guilty. I hate it when friends hurt. I want to make it better.

getting my party on

I still feel crappy, but am in such a great mood. I had another weight loss this week. I am feeling great about that.

My anniversary ring came in. We had it shipped to Sweetie's work. He is very very happy with it. I cannot wait to see it.

Tonight is our company Christmas party. I am so excited. Last year I didn't really know anyone. But now that I have been here longer, I am excited.

OK that wasn't much of a post. Sorry about that. But I must got get beautimus for my party.

~Night y'all~

One great day

Sweetie and I both took the day off for Christmas shopping. We completed most of it, there is always more, isn't there? But we had great fun. Sweetie had a dentist appointment first thing this morning so I shopped for a dress for our anniversary. I knew I wanted to wear a dress that makes me feel pretty. I was successful. I went to Macy's and found an elegant white and black dress. I tried on several and this was the only one I wanted to keep on. If I lose a couple of pounds it will be that much more comfortable.

So I was feeling good when we started our shopping. We had such a great day shopping and laughing. I am not feeling great, going from 80 to 40 does that. But it didn't hold us back. It truly was a great day.

Now I need to feel better so I can get back into the exercise.

Thank you again, God!

Somehow I am awake. We were up late. Sweetie and Bug are still in bed. I am enjoying water and motrin as I upload my photos from last night. It all still seems a blur. I am so thankful for this year. This scary year of the Boar. You see BestFriend declared this to be the year of doing scary things, as it is the year of the Boar. More on that at my year end recap. Yesterday was a big day for me. I was going to do a new 5k and reunite with a friend that I have not seen since 1992, yes the same year Sweetie and I met. First some back story. She was a friend of Brothers, as I have said before. She was his roommate and quickly became one of the family. She was 5 years older than me, and to a 15 year old, that is older - the irony being that BestFriend and she are the same age. She was the older sister I never had. She had a huge impact on my life. Then circumstances were as they were and she moved away. The catch is there was no goodbye. For many years I had trouble with this. I dreamt about her, I was angry with her. Then time passes, life happens, you grow up, and suddenly though everything is not known, it is understood.

Last night was the 5k. We planned this as our reuniting place. It was a fun and healthy place to meet. Let's be honest, it was neutral and safe. She had a shitty week and I was worried that circumstances as they were, she would not make it. Things were different as originally planned. She and I did not meet up at the start, parking for the event was HORRIBLE, but this is a happy post so I will not go into that. She was not up for the walk so she brought her family to cheer me on and to meet up at the end.

Sweetie and BestFriend ran, and did awesome might I add. I pushed Bug in her stroller. Thanks to cellular technology, I saw her as I passed the starting line. I saw she was with her family. It was real. The first mile is getting over to the lights. That is the fastest I have ever done a mile. I even did quite a bit of running - not a lot by normal people standards, but a lot for me. Then we got to the lights, I didn't run and I we enjoyed the lights, but meeting up with this person keep me going. At the end of the lights was an optional exit. I could tell Bug was getting antsy. She loved the lights, but she wanted to go out and touch them - silly 'ol Bug. The last mile did not have lights so I knew she would be bored. And since I didn't even start my stop watch - how very very very unlike me - we opted to stop. We waited at the designated meeting point for BestFriend. Sweetie was going backwards on the trail to find us, and of course we weren't there. That is the only bad part of stopping early. After I cooled off, and composed myself, I called T to let her know I was at the tree.

And there she was. In real life. We hugged, I met her family. Her youngest, 6 months older than Bug, took to me the minute he saw me. And Bug didn't mind sharing - which she is good about at school, but this was different. BestFriend and Sweetie were there as my rocks. Without them I would have chickened out. It was so very special to see this person again after so long. We all went to dinner. We chatted and had fun. Sweetie offered for them to come back to our house. And something different happened. I didn't freak out because the house wasn't picture perfect. I welcomed them over. Something is a changin' in these here parts. BestFriend couldn't stay as she had some single girl plans, which I hope she had a great time. We had a great visit. There were tears, happy tears. Sweetie kept T's husband, JM, and her two teenagers happy with our Wii. And Bug has her new friend, Doodle. She loves him and kept saying his name. This is the first time she has really had a kid her age in our home and playing with her toys. She was amazing.

Oh and no worries when you count the walk to and from when we parked, I did more than a 5k's worth of distance.

Here is BestFriend with Bug after the race, hope she doesn't kill me for posting a pic of her sweaty - she just ran a 5k:Here
Here is BestFriend after the race: Even the kids felt the urge to do something healthy: And the best part of having a boy as a friend - you can put buckets on their head:Thank you Brother for finding her on the M*y S*pa*ce crack and contacting her. Thank you God for not taking her on Friday. I am so thankful she is here. I am so thankful this year for those in my life. I am thankful to be surrounded by such strength.

As we drifted off to sleep last night Sweetie asked me if I was happy, "Yes" I answered with a smile bright enough to light the darkened room.

bringing it all together

Time for reflection. Time for contemplation. I am fighting a cold. Fighting it hard might I add. I refuse to be sick. This weekend is too special. I have the trail of lights 5k. The neat part about this year is that I get to see the trail of lights twice. We have the 5k and then we always go with SIL#2, BIL, Niece, MIL, and Mom. Lots of fun this year.

But something else is happening on Saturday, at the 5k. I am reconnecting with the friend that I have not seen in some fifteen years. I am excited. I am nervous. I have grown, matured, and changed since then. What if she doesn't like me? What if I am not cool enough for her? What if time has been too much? Brother has already met with her a couple of times. I am convinced that I am overreacting.

I am feeling so good. I think my thyroid is still normal. I have been doing very well with my diet. Though nothing has been off limits - it is the holiday season. Having WW at work has been very nice. Tomorrow is weigh in. So far I am down 5 pounds. We shall see what tomorrow brings.

Four weeks left until 10 years. We purchased new wedding bands for the celebration and picked them up last night. They are so beautiful. And tonight we found my anniversary ring. I have been looking for the perfect ring. I am not a traditional type. I wanted something different. I did not want diamonds. When I found this ring and showed Sweetie, he pulled his wallet out immediately and told me to order it because it is the ring. I am so excited. Have I mentioned that I still do not know the plans? Have I mentioned that I have not been asking? Have I mentioned that this drives me crazy?

I am tired. Tonight is going to be watching Christmas movies, eating PB&J, and a long bath. I
have to feel better for the fun of Saturday!

In the Sprit

Happy Toes

I have pretty toes. BestFriend and I got mani/pedis yesterday. It was so much fun. We don't get to spend much one-on-one time together, so we made up for it yesterday.

We have had a great weekend. Friday night Sweetie, Bug, and I adopted an angel from the Salvation Army Angel Tree. We purchased the items for a little girl named Teresa and turned them in today. I hope it helps to make her Christmas a little better.

We also had a guy try to scam us out of cash. GRRRR I hate people like that. I am happy to help when needed, don't play on that. Don't make me feel used as you walk away. No, we didn't fall for his scam. It just upset me that he even tried.

I have a ton of work to do this next week. But that is ok. I am still very happy. And I get to interview two people on Tuesday. Yes, one of my peeps is leaving, long story. I have done this before, but it is always a little nerve wracking. I mean I want to pick the right person for the job.

What else is new? I feel like I have not blogged in so long. We have been enjoying Bug so much this season. She loves the Christmas tree, the songs, and the specials. She is awesome. She may have her two year old moments, aka stubborn fits, but I love this age.

OK sorry for the short post, but I need to get to sleep.

BestFriend Strikes Again

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTFRIEND!!!!!

She did it again, she got me to register for another 5k. We are doing the Trail of Lights 5k. This is a 5k at night through Zilker Park's Trail of Lights. It is going to be fun. Plus we get a long sleeve t-shirt. What more can we ask for?

.

World Domination Tuesday

First a HUGE SHOUT OUT - HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOWIEMAUI!!!!!

Now onto what I was going to say. I am sore. Not just sore, I am very sore. I have not worked out with my power 90 videos since labor day-ish. At that point I was doing level 1. Last night I decided that I need to get back on it if I want a loss during the holiday season and to feel great about myself for our anniversary. So I did level 2. Makes sense right? I mean it has been almost 3 months since I did anything like this, shouldn't I be able to move on to level 2? The overall video is the same as level 1. But, it is 12 minutes longer and I swear the extra time is with lunges and push ups. OWIE. I am so sore. It feels good to know I worked hard, but damn.

And get this, after my workout, I made dinner. That involved THREE pots/bowls to cook. AND we ate at the dining room table. Am I awesome or what?

My goal is to workout again tonight. but if it doesn't happen, that is ok. No beating myself up.

And I never posted about Thanksgiving weekend. It was AWESOME. No stress. I did not have my traditional flip-out. YAY. It was four days filled with family and good times. We got a new tree, picture is at home of course, it is beautiful. Very very us. We played a lot of Wii. Sweetie and I have a competition on who is better at Big Brain Academy - LOVE THAT GAME. We were even productive and made a huge dent in the laundry. It was the best four day weekend. It was a weekend where we spent every minute together and wanted more.

We are finishing putting up the decorations after work this week and hopefully putting up the lights outside soon - it is supposed to rain again this weekend.

Did I mention that I love Christmas?

Giving Thanks

It is that time of year again, time to give thanks. This year I am not feeling up to par, allergies are kicking my butt. My response is to take the holiday as stress free as possible. The house isn't perfect, the floor isn't spotless, Bug's room is a mess from us putting in her big girl bed (a twin now). But none of that matters. What matters is family, quality time with loved ones, and being thankful.

I am thankful for so much this year.

• For my Mom. I am thankful that she is so close to me. I am thankful for her expressions of what a great mom I am.
• For my home, my job, my health.
  
• For my friends and family.
• For me. I am learning more about myself everyday and I like who I am. I may not be the weight that I want but that is ok. When I look at what I have accomplished at the weight I am now or higher, I cannot complain.
  
• But above all else, I am thankful for Sweetie and Bug. They are my life, my support system, and my constant reminder of good in the world.

This morning Bug reminded me again of how thankful I am. This is the first year for Bug to enjoy to parade. She and I sat on the floor watching in awe. She is amazing. Here we are, watching the fun - of course straight from bed. Here is Sweetie and Bug. Sweetie smokes the turkey every year. He wakes up early and tends to the temp and I wake up to his wonderful kiss and him smelling of smoked turkey. This is what makes my Thanksgiving. May everyone have a wonderful and safe holiday. Take time to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you.

Only Two

Two Names You Go By:
1. Missy 2. Melissa
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Grey turtle neck-ish shirt 2. The prettiest panties with little flowers on them (I am wearing pants over them)
Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:
1. Trust 2. Laughter
Two of Your Favorite Things to do:
1. Walk with my family 2. Play games
Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. Sleep 2. Clean for Thanksgiving
Two things you did last night:
1. Walked for an hour with Bug 2. Started cleaning the dining room
Two things you ate today:
1. Slim-fast 2. Vitamins
Two people you Last Talked To:
In Person
1 . Co worker Buddy A and another co-worker
IM
1. Mom and Sweetie
Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. Cleaning for Thanksgiving 2. Hopefully finish a big project at work. My boss says I have to finish it to get Thanksgiving off, he jokes but I want it done.
Two longest car rides:
1. Austin to Florida 2. Austin to McAllen
Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Thanksgiving 2. Christmas
Two Favorite Beverages:
1. Right now, Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha - for me it is a big O in a cup :-) 2. Cherry Coke
Two Things About Me -Things you may not have known:
What don't you know? That is hard.
1. The Friend's episode with the chocolate chip cookie recipe, that is what happened to me. I thought my G-ma's cookies were an old family recipe.
2. I have to have my programs appear on my toolbar the same way each day. When a program quits and things are out of order, it really bugs me
Two jobs I have had in my life:
1. Accounting Manager 2. Candy Counter Saleswoman - with Lammes - mmm mmm mmmm
Two Movies I would watch over and over :
1. Nemo - oh wait movies I want to watch over and over; FightClub 2. Steel Magnolias
Two places I have lived:
1. Austin 2. Cedar Park
Two of my Favorite Foods:
1. Chocolate 2. Sushi
Two places I'd rather be right now:
1. Home in bed snuggling Sweetie 2. Near water
Two people I think will respond:
1. Mom 2. not sure
P.S. Now add a couple of questions:
What have been the happiest two moments in your life:
I am leaving out birth of Bug and wedding - as those are obvious
1. Finding out we were pregnant 2. Walking the stage for my MBA
What books are you reading right now:
1. CPA/Thyroid/Walking books 2. The Golden Compass

Beginning the Season

Happy Birthday Daddy! Today is my Dad's b-day, he would be 62. As we do, we did our shopping. And since everyone started the holidays early this is the first year we have been surrounded by Holiday Music/Decorations/General Cheer on a full blown level. This was very fun. This is my favorite time of year. Not for the presents, but for the fun, the family, the tradition. Even the station that goes "all holiday music" started the fun early. Normally they start the day after Thanksgiving. Nope today the music was on. I could go on and on about the marketing concepts that corporate America is pushing on us and how it isn't about making the cheer of the season last longer but rather more paychecks in the season making you spend more. But you know what? I won't do it, I love the season and I am going to enjoy the extended version.

We had the best day. BestFriend joined us for a short time with lunch. She is wonderful and asked me and Mom to tell her about my Dad. We were crying for most of lunch. But it was a good time.

Shopping on this day is a tradition for Mom and me. But I think this year we accomplished the least amount of actual shopping, lol. We ended up browsing jewelry stores. With the upcoming 10th wedding anniversary coming up, Sweetie and I are getting new wedding bands. This has me on a hunt for a new "engagement" type of ring. Well, long story short, Mom and I went from store to store looking at their offerings. This was fun as what I want this time is more non-traditional.

At the end of the day we laughed that we didn't do much actual shopping but it was one of the most fun shopping days we have had. Thank you, Sweetie, for watching Bug for me.

This week was very good. Not only did I have my b-day, a good week at work, Bug's Thanksgiving lunch at school, had a weight loss at WW, and a fun shopping day, but I also got in contact with an old friend. This friend was actually a friend of my brother's and more of my "big sister". She was awesome and I felt a great loss when she moved away. Not to dwell on that at all. Time has passed, everything has changed, circumstances are understood, and well... life happens. But thanks to Brother's boss being out of town and him surfing the 'ol my*spa*ce, he re-found this friend. I received a warm email from her today and I can't wait to get back in contact. When she last saw me, I was 15. Things have changed a tad bit since then.

Thanksgiving is next week. I can't wait. I have a ton of cleaning to do, but such is life. I love Thanksgiving. Reflecting on what we are thankful for is always important. And it is supposed to be cold and rainy for the day. Perfect weather, IMHO.

Today I am thankful for the people in my life. I am so very lucky to have such amazing people around me.

** I forgot to add, I got my test results back. While my thyroid is lower, which means closer to Hyper than it was 1.5 months ago, it is still normal. I am getting rid of my Endo. Not because of her, but because of her rude ass staff. I get my levels checked again in January. However, I am living as if I am in remission, regardless of how long I get to enjoy it. Which means if all goes well, we may be able to start thinking of trying for #2 in March (six months being off anti-thyroid medicines). We shall see, a lot can happen between now and then. My focus is being as healthy as I can in the meantime.

Yes, bullet points again.

• Back at work today. Not only did I have a ton of emails to go through, but I also had a 2 hour meeting - yay. Can you say, not caught up at all? Yes, I knew you could.
  
• I am getting my blood tested tomorrow, yes two weeks early. I am noticing some symptoms. And to be honest I have no clue if I am hypo or hyper.
  
• I had to take co-worker bud, A, to the ER today. She is having heart issues. Not cool at all. I just hope they figure everything out.
• Behind my knee is hurting again too. GRRRR!
• Sweetie downloaded Super Mario Brothers Three for our Wii. This is my all time favorite game.
  

birthday comes to a close

My birthday weekend has been wonderful. Saturday during the day Bug had a b-day party at an inflatable play place. She had so much fun, as did I. Saturday night Sweetie and I had a date night. We went to Cool River and enjoyed some of his Halloween winnings. We had a fantastic time. The meal was delicious, the service was divine, and the atmosphere was wonderful. It could not have been better.

Today Sweetie and I took off from work. Mom made cupcakes and we took them in to Bug's school. I wanted all my kids to celebrate my "Happy Day". We then set out for our day. We enjoyed some breakfast, some shopping, a movie, some lunch, talking, planning, and dreaming. The wonderful day completed with Bug and I taking a walk around my Mom's neighborhood, where I grew up. Funny how everything seems so much smaller now. We then had dinner with Brother, SIL#1, Mom, MIL, SIL#2, BIL, Niece, and BestFriend.

It was a great day. Now back to the norm and preparing for Thanksgiving.

~HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME~

Happy Birthday to ME!!! I am now officially 30 something. 31 years ago I entered this world.

bullet point day

• You never realize how much you shift your weight and move in a chair until it squeaks.
• Life is all about how you look at things. I had a bad day yesterday and had some M&Ms. A co-worker pointed out that if you turn them upside down it is "WW" which means they must be weight watchers candy.
• I got back from getting my car inspected today to find on my desk several bags with M&Ms in them. On each bag has "2 points" written on it. My work buddy A went to the trouble of figuring out how many M&Ms are in 2 points and made these emergency bags for me. Isn't that sweet. I truly do have a great support network around me.
• I love it when I am on the road by my work and people flash their lights to tell others of a cop up ahead.
• It cracks me up that our 12 year old car passed inspection with flying colors but my 5 year old car needed a new part to pass.
• I have no idea where my thyroid is. GRRRR.
• I get to have dinner with my Diva's tonight. My Sweetie is too good to me.
• My b-day weekend has already started. I got a card from a co-worker today.
• My Bug sings "die die die". She gets it from A Bug's Life. It sounds horrible. But I know it could be MUCH worse, and will be knowing her.
• I still need to post the picture of the "Loose weight now" car. That is mine and Sweetie's BIGGEST pet peeve. Lose and Loose are not the same. I laugh at it but it is like nails on a chalk board to me.