From the daisymouse fan club...

Hello! This is not Daisymouse (DM). This is "BFF" or as I'm known to my peers at work, "hey"

Since DM has been uber busy, I have hacked into her blog to update you on all that she is doing:

1. This Saturday is the final race in the Sprint Challenge. Not only has she completed the series, she has improved her time with each race (even with an injured foot)! Saturday's 5K will be a big awesome celebration and I think, the timing is perfect as its Mother's Day weekend. So if you're up at 8 a.m. Saturday, think good thoughts her way.

2. She's been crazy busy at work, putting in hours on the weekends (she's even at work now as I'm writing this!) and going to Excel trainings, etc. Lol, as if she needs training in Excel. Bill Gates calls her for Excel advice.

3. We did some work in her mom's (known to me as "G") front yard, digging her a new flowerbed, though we need to plant the flowers now. Daisymouse was nice and took a flattering picture of my old butt as I was bending over pulling some weeds, Thanks! D: And after that, her and Mr. Daisymouse, a.k.a. "Sweetie" painted G's shed. Not sure where they get all their energy.

4. YAYAYAY Saturday June 7, our little Ms. Bug will be THREE! How did that happen? DM is trying to organize a birthday party for her beautiful little girl which is difficult when the chosen theme varies from hour to hour from Totoro to Thomas the Train to Princess.

Here's a pic of DM and Mr. DM before the Capital 10K. Yes we're crazy (or dumb?) enough to get up at 5:30 in the morning on the weekend to put ourselves through pain.

And the Cap 10K was awful! Not only was the oak pollen so thick that the air was yellow, it was raining and humid which made the nearly straight up and down hills so slick people were sliding down. Ugh!

5. She's been studying for the first CPA test -> this time she's studying for the test that's easiest for her, because its in line with what she does (my idea! YAY sometimes one of my ideas is good!) My thoughts were that the hardest part of the test for her will be the newness of it and the uncertainty, and once she's past that, she'll blow through them. You really can't underestimate the scariness of going into something new - even when you're as determined and see-through-walls smart as DM.

6. She puts up with me and I'm high maintenance. Today she had to deal with a deep black depression I was in over the loss of a little bird that had been in my care. She did a good job being my rent-a-sister and I made it through the day. <3

Ok that's all that I can think of to write, but she'll be back on soon I think when everything calms down a bit.

Sincerely,
DM's fan club president

seeing some light

I went to the Dr on Friday for my results. And I have some good news to post. I am healthy. I am very healthy. Cholesterol, triglycerides, thyroid - all in check. YAY. The dr put me on some happy pills. I just need a little help in getting me in balance. And she put me on some that I can still work for #2 while taking them. So now I just need to get to the weight I want to be before starting to try. I am happy to say that I am already noticing the medicine starting to work.

Yesterday was the Texas Roundup 10k. I have a hurt foot - not sure the issue but it hurt. Well, I still went and did the 6.2 miles. And yet again I proved myself. I did it in 1:40:07. That is awesome for me. Please remember that I am a walker and not a runner. I took a little over 3 minutes off my time from the last 10k a month before and improved my minute per mile pace from the last 5k two weeks ago. The hills yesterday were rough - my butt is sore, if you don't know, you use your glutes more when you walk up hill vs walking on flat. Yep, sore. One more race and I will have finished the Sprint Challenge. This also will be 1 year of doing the 5ks and 10ks with focus. YAY me. Then I don't have another big race until August 31 which is the Nike+ Human Race 10k. Sweetie is going to run it so I will be on my own - luckily I have some time to train.

I have pics to post, but for some reason they aren't uploading in a timely manner. I have cute ones of Bug to post as well as the traditional BestFriend/me race photo. Oh well, perhaps two posts in one evening.

Thank you for your kind email/comments. It is nice to know that there are people who are supportive and understanding. And, yes, I need a trip to H-town soon.

Oh and I have to say that my life is a musical. My Bug, Sweetie, and I all sing made up songs. This is our normal routine. Sweetie didn't use to do this, but after living with me for nearly 11 years it just catches on. Bug just started singing her sentences to me - too damn cute.

still here

I am here. Not much to report. I have been fighting some depression - fun, I tell ya. And I hate for my blog to be too negative, so I have been away. I did get a physical on Monday. Dr is going to talk to me on Friday about the results and potential happy pills. What's wrong? Nothing and everything. Sad about Alley, normal chemical issues, and feeling overwhelmed with life - nothing major.

I have been eating very poorly. I am sure it is due to the emotions I am going through.

I just need a swift kick in the butt. I need motivation. I need to feel like I am on top of everything.

My eyes feel so tired all of the time, I don't want to do anything, and then beat myself up for doing nothing. Endless cycle of life.

But I have a new phone and it makes me feel important. It is a work phone. This means I am "on-call" all the time. And that is ok.

CPA class starts next week. I hope my life stabilizes so I can actually test with this one. The goal is to pass ONE and then I have 18 months to pass the other three.

Oh and Blah!

And then there is everything I want to do for the house. Things I want to get it ready for sale, read for another addition to the family, or ready for me to feel complete in it.

Did I mention I am all over the place?

I just have to break this funk.

OK that was the most depressing post ever.

lost all words

Can't talk, too hard, crying cannot stop. I just need my alone time. We had to make the hardest decision ever. Just not fair. Hurts too bad.

RIP Alley - my big girl, my love, MY cat, our home will never be the same without our "dog".

Moved my buns

In spite of terrible allergies, we did it. I wasn't feeling top notch so my goal was to simply finish the 5k. I hoped the exercise might help me to feel better. Sweetie was awesome, yet again, and was my partner through the race. Once again I didn't take a stopwatch, like with our last race, and I focused on going at a good pace that felt good. I even ran the last .10 of a mile.

I wasn't obsessed about the time. I didn't even check the website until getting home from the grocery store. Damn if I didn't get yet another PR. Not a huge time improvement, but enough to make me feel better in spite of my horrible allergies.

It was a great race. My knee is a little sore but overall I am feeling good from the event. The best part was meeting up with BestFriend after the race for our traditional post race brunch. She sat this one out, but I still wanted to celebrate with her. I might still have to go into the doc next week for some antibiotics for my sinuses.

Three races down, two to go.

yet another 5k

Getting ready for another 5k tomorrow, Schlotzsky's Bun Run. Tonight, to prepare ourselves, we watched "Run Fat Boy Run". It was so very funny. That and sushi means I am ready. Of course the Oak might just kill me. I have to see an allergist soon. My ONLY goal for tomorrow is to finish. There is no way that I will get a PR with my sinuses feeling like ass. But that is ok. I will be out there with Sweetie for the Sunshine Camps.

emotions run crazy

Things are very strange in my world lately. There is a lot of drama, there is a lot of emotion. I cannot go into a lot of it, as it isn't my place, but I am discovering that my mood is altered because of it.

What I can say is that the drama isn't about me. It isn't even really my business other than it involves my family - and thus it is my business. I just hate seeing anyone hurt. My family is so small and I like to think that we cling together during hard times, but when official statuses are in the process of changing I lose grasp with where I stand, how to act, and what to do.

Being happy is so very important. And, if you know me at all, you know that I believe happiness is a choice. Not that you should keep a stiff upper lip, be grateful for what you have, and be happy regardless. That is not what I mean at all. My marriage has had good times and bad times and bliss times (yay for being in bliss times). We decided long ago to fight for what we have and to decide to be happy. That came out wrong too. Hmmmm. We decided to make our marriage one that makes us happy. Yes, that is closer to sounding like what I mean. Of course, this isn't for everyone. Sometimes it is time to say it is the end.

The person going through this whole mess means the world to me. He drives me crazy at times, but it is his role. I don't want to see him hurt. I also think my biggest fear right now is being pushed away. This happened about 10 years ago and I cannot let it happen again. And things keep getting more and more complicated for him. It just isn't fair.

And it is getting to me. Not that he shouldn't vent, chat, confide, or lean on me. When it all started I didn't think it would even phase me. Why should it? I am simply a third party to this madness. But I am who I am and I take it all in.

BestFriend says that I take things personally. It is true. It is who I am. If you come to me crying, I will cry with you. If you are mad, chances are I will get mad too. I take it in. I absorb it. But I am not fragile. I am not someone you should treat with kid gloves. Just because I am reacting to the emotions, does not mean do not talk to me.

The hard part is caring about both sides. This was the case with BestFriend. I think I did well in juggling, but it was hard. And now, I didn't fully understand how much I care for this other person until all of this started. She is family. And that isn't going to change. Yet, as my life seems to dictate, complications grow.

I just want everyone happy. I just want everyone to feel bliss.

Friends, Ink, Happiness, Beautiful Weekend

BestFriend hosted a Henna party yesterday. With DarkDiva's henna, BestFriend's beautiful home, the beautiful day, and gracious shade from a tree, it was a perfect afternoon. I did my own henna, pictures to come. I was silly and didn't follow a pattern, simply did what I wanted.

The remainder of the weekend consisted of relaxing, walking, working out with Sweetie (we are attempting the P90 challenge once again), and many laughs with Bug.

busy busy busy

This has been a busy week. Monday I got the results of my thyroid test, dr had me go ahead and get it tested, and it is still normal. This means my symptoms are due to stress/allergies - thank goodness. Monday night and yesterday I was at a Sales Conference for work. It was good but busy.

OK that is all. Time to sleep.

So thankful

This weekend was in a word, fabulous. Friday night we went to Tammy's. We had to drive past an ex-friend's house to get there - same friend we keep getting the debt collector calls. It was a little emotional. But I was good and strong. I focused on how much has changed in the past five years. So very much is different. And I am happy with the differences.

Tammy's was awesome. We love her family and felt quite at home. Bug loves her Doodle - he is only six months older so they get along great. They live out past BFI and beyond. It was very nice and quite, very surreal. We lost track of time we were having so much fun.And last night we ran into an old friend of mine, S. I have not seen her since shortly after having Bug. It was so good to see her and show off Bug.

Today was the Capitol 10k. It was awesome. Sweetie walked with me the whole way. I loved it. It rained on us but that didn't matter. We danced, laughed, joked, oh and walked. The 6.2 miles went by pretty quickly. I did great. I finished in 1:43. I did better than I was hoping. Sweetie and I had so much fun that he has decided to walk the final three races in the Sprint Series with me.I had a weekend where I am so grateful for everyone in my life. I am so lucky to have such great friends in family. Life is good.

a little from column A, a little from column B

Where have I been? Work has been pretty busy. It is time for the audit of the trust account. That is all me, well with the exception of when I need to ask my boss for the answers, lol. But it means a lot of work. I didn't eat lunch until 3:30.

As far as my thyroid goes I have a physical scheduled for 4/21. As of right now I am going to wait until then to see where my thyroid is. Yes, I think it is off. However, this gives me three weeks to really follow my diet and exercise program.

I am still gearing up for the CPA, but trying not to stress about it.

I am working with Sweetie on something to motivate me with being healthier - like a surprise. I need something to truly motivate me. What do I truly want/need desire? Hard question.

Oh and we found Sweetie's book at B&N. And relatives found it in Houston. It was so awesome to see it on a shelf at a real book store. SO VERY PROUD!!!

And this weekend is going to be busy. Friday is spending time with my friend Tammy, her family, Brother, and BestFriend. Saturday is mani/pedi with BestFriend, and Sunday is our 10k. I am so excited. I have not walked this week as I wanted, but I am still in this. I am fighting the depression. And focusing on keeping my sunshine attitude.

Today is a new day and I refuse to let this thyroid run my life, that is the main reason I am not running to get my blood tested. I want to alter things in my life and see the results.

Happy Easter

Easter weekend was very nice and relaxed, as it should be. Friday was a day off for me and we spent the day shopping. We missed the Easter Egg hunt at the local park, but that is ok. We helped Mom get a new computer and get it all hooked up. She is high tech now using our wireless and uploading some music. Too cute. And Sweetie made us waffles last night - who could ask for more.

Today I didn't get up as early as I wanted for a walk. I was moody and bitchy, yes I can admit it when I am like that. Sweetie kept pushing for me to go. Each time I brought up an obstacle he solved it. Finally he told me "go and walk, whenever you walk it makes you happy". Then Bug told me "Mommy, go walk". So I did. And it was a GREAT walk. I went 5 miles, without music. I am ready for my 10k next week. And yes, he was right, it did put me into a better mood. And I worked hard. My heart-rate monitor said I burned 850 calories. I came back and enjoyed a bubble bath.

Now if only I hadn't eaten all the chocolate and other crap, I might have seen a weight loss from the walk :-) That is what tomorrow is for. And tomorrow I am starting the Beck Diet. More on this later. It works with WW. We shall see if it helps.

Here is Bug yesterday:Big Bug helping Sweetie:BestFriend knows how to celebrate Easter - and she bakes the BEST COOKIES: One Egg might have gone over the fence, Sweetie had to go over to get it:

blah

I got things halfway solved with the chip timing issue - just waiting for my info to be posted on the sprint site.

I think my thyroid is off again. I am noticing more hair loss, some brain fog, my eyes are not at 20/20 as they were last year, some irritability, and some depression. While I don't want my thyroid out of balance, I kind of hope that is what it is. I would rather have this grumpiness due to thyroid and not the potential of a bad depressive slump. I am not supposed to get it tested again until May. But I am overdue for a physical. I think I will get one and see where it says my thyroid is.

But I refuse to give in to the blahs. I will continue to fight. I ate too much today. I feel icky because of it. But it is not the end. I need to exercise tonight. I hope to walk or at least do a video. The 10k is coming up soon. I need to get some miles in before the fun.

Sunday is Easter. I am not sure what all we are going to do. We need to clean. Maybe that will help get me out of this funk - accomplishing something.

My shoulder is feeling better, but I keep aggravating it. I think it has me down as well. I want to do my weight training, I want to feel better. I keep reminding myself that I have 8 weeks of races so that I need to focus on my walking for now and I can add the weights back in later.

And why can't simply carrying the books that I need to study get the information into my head? I mean seriously, shouldn't that be enough?

OK I am off to be productive, healthy, and silly. I am sure these will help.

we are home

Our weekend in bullet points and photos:

• Saturday started with Daisy 5k. I got a PR, I took over 4 minutes off my time from last year. It was my best time EVER with a 5k. I rock. On a sad note, and one I am not dwelling on until I get an answer, my chip time is not showing up on their site. Without it I am out of the Sprint Challenge - grrrr. But no reason to waste any energy until I get a response to my email.
• We got to LA as scheduled. Our hotel was so very beautiful.
• The book release party was a lot of fun.
• And Sunday we spend the day at Universal Studios. It was so so so windy. It was crazy cold wind too. But that didn't stop out fun.
• And we came home today to find one of our trees with new leaves - spring is here.
• I have to say that my Bug was the best ever. She was awesome on the plane, at the party, at the park, and with our return. She was silly but completely awesome. I was so very very proud to be her Mom this weekend.

Tomorrow it starts

I am in bed, packed and prepared for tomorrow. I am always nervous before a race. I know what to expect from me, I know I can do it, but I always get a little paranoid beforehand. I stayed home with Bug today as she got sick at school yesterday. This turned out to be a blessing as I wanted to get our packets for the race today. SXSW is still going on and downtown was a nightmare. I love that my city hosts this cool event and that it supports our economy, but I will be happy when the excess is gone. The good thing is that tomorrow morning shouldn't have the SXSW crowd as it starts so early.

I will post pics of the release party as soon as available. I am so excited for this big weekend for my Sweetie.

Confusion

Because my life can be, at times, confusing. Here is some clarification. Saturday morning is the Daisy 5k. I registered myself and Sweetie when we thought the book release party would be the weekend of March 1st. Then, of course, it was moved to the 15th. Sweetie being awesome insisted that we still do the 5k and head to CA after. Since we took our second honeymoon our vacation is a little lacking. This way we don't have to miss as much work. While it will be a short trip, it will be an awesome experience.

I said I would blog a ton tonight in order to use my shoulder before my appointment tomorrow. So here I am. And today I have not had any pain. That is awesome, but of course I still have my appointment.

Tonight is the last night of SXSW. Thank Goodness. I appreciate everything Sweetie does, but more importantly, I miss him when he isn't here. I can't help it. Even after 15.5 years, I still get butterflies when I see him.

Today BestFriend told me that my blog needs more pictures. I can do that.This is me and Ser before our girl day on Saturday. Here we are at the Domain. Sweetie and Bug at SIL#2's b-day.This is my Bug, in all her cuteness.

I am feeling so good today. I am feeling skinny. At work A. has started calling me the "pocket full of sunshine". I like that. I try to have a great outlook and I love to hear when it shows. I was also told that I am very approachable and A. was told to come and talk to me as I make the day better. Yep, I like who I am. I will never be a hard ass type. I am me. I am silly, optimistic, and always try to find the good in things that are happening. Not to say I never feel sadness, anyone here for any period of time knows that I fight depression. I simply fight it on my own terms. Boss is out of town this week so I have been busting ass to get a ton done.

And that brings me to the studying. I really am going to get into it. I just need a schedule. Part of me would love to take the physical classes but it costs 3k. And BestFriend has mentioned a chocolate manicure if we keep up with our studies. That sounds like motivation. Do I get to eat the chocolate? And if not, truly what is the point?

I am so excited about our trip, my race challenge, the upcoming tests, and staying healthy. This week starts our new WW session. I am not sure if it is a 14 or 17 week one this time, but something is better than nothing. I am so close to my first goal. I just need to get this shoulder better so that I can get back into my working out. I am really missing my weight training.

That is all that I can think to fill you in on.

gimme a title

Shoulder not hurting as bad but going in on Wednesday to make sure it is ok. My first race of the Sprint Challenge (formerly known as spring race challenge) is Saturday. I am excited about this. Even if I have not had as much training as I had hoped at this point, I know that I can do this.

Sweetie was awesome this morning. I put on a new t-shit. I have an addiction. I love to buy target t-shirts. I put on a new one and it fits snuggly. It is the kind of tight that would be good for a night on the town but too tight for work. Sweetie saw me and said "that is a hot shirt, you can really tell how much weight you have lost".

This weekend was much fun. I adore that little girl. Between her silly growls, acting goofy, big hugs, shaking her booty, and big snuggles, we had a great time. I didn't get my walking in as I knew pushing the stroller would hurt my shoulder. But that is ok. Rest was much more important.

Slight Blogging Break

As my shoulder is hurting when I type, and any typing I do I need to use for studying, I will be taking a recreational computer break this weekend. If my shoulder does not feel better after this break, I will be seeing my doctor, no worries.

This is a perfect time for this experiment as Sweetie is at the interactive portion of SXSW and I get a girls' weekend with my Bug. I don't know what all we are doing, but much fun will be had. I might post some pics on Sunday, but nothing too strenous.

Hopefully I will be like new on Monday.

Day in the Life of a Missy

Things are exciting here in the World of Missy. We have drama everywhere. Drama tires me. We live in an interesting time. We bloggers put our thoughts "out there" for others to read. And they do. Even my little blog has a following. Ten years ago you didn't have such an opportunity to snoop on others as we do today. Of course, what you see is what you get. I don't blog about everything, only what I am ok with others knowing. Some might think I confide too much. I do what is right for me.

It has been brought to my attention that my blog causes someone pain. I am not going into who or what or why. My point is that we are all adults. We all have the control over what sites we read and when. As I have said before, my blog is a "feed the cat" blog. I am not political, humorous, or with an agenda. This is simply my life, a journal in a public form.

I don't write posts to hurt. In fact I have been blogging less in order to try and eliminate some pain from this person. I cannot do that any longer. They are a grown-up and can read or not read. If reading causes pain, perhaps we aren't truly friends as this blog is me.

I was very emotional when I got this news today. To the point of telling co-workers. I do not open up to co-workers often, but apparently it was quite obvious something was wrong. And after I got the same advice for the fourth time, I realized that I need to get back into this blog and why I do it - uncensored. If it bothers any of you, don't read. As I say, this is my blog and I write it for me.

I don't have an exciting life, most of it is with Sweetie and Bug. And to be honest, they are pretty close to everything I need. I am lucky enough to get two girl outings in a month - on a good month. I am lucky enough to be close friends with Mom. And BestFriend is more of a sister than simply a friend. She knows me well enough to know if my thyroid is off, if something is bothering me, and checks in on me to see how I am doing at reaching my goals. I am happy and healthy. Things are going well at work and I am excited about two more friend gatherings in the near future.

I need to focus on what keeps me healthy. I need to focus on what keeps me happy. Such as it is in the Day in the Life of a Missy.
Speaking of days - if you are going to buy one book this season, you need to buy 100 Days of Monsters: Sweetie is one of the contributors. He is officially published. We go next weekend to the release party in LA. Ya baby - we are big time, in a small, cute and unique way.

Thank you A for introducing me to the song "I've got a pocket full of sunshine". Thanks to Bug also loving it, it is stuck in my head. I leave you with my favorite verse:
"And there's no more lies.
In the darkness, there's light.
And nobody cries.
There's only butterflies."

Ding

Ding - I'm done. My six months are up. I have been off my meds for six months. And while I do not know where my thyroid is at the moment, I know that the medicine is fully out of my system. Can I see some dancin'?

Six months of no meds means that I am healthy enough to get pregnant. I have several friends who have had babies recently. Bug is changing her mind about the whole baby thing and is now - for the moment that is - saying another might be ok.

Of course that doesn't mean we are anywhere near trying. I still want to get this damn CPA test out of the way. There is going to be some reorganization at my work. Not any job losses, but job changes. I need to have this certificate to prove that this is what I do and I do it well.

And to top it off, I have a hurt shoulder. I am sure it is from using my mouse. Which of course is going to make the studying that much harder. But I can do it. I am Super Woman. This is going to hinder my blogging. And that just sucks.

always follow your instincts

Today started in the usual way. I had planned on my long walk for tomorrow, in WW you can eat more when you exercise but you must use the points in the day you earned them. Tomorrow is SIL#2's b-day and I wanted the make sure I was covered points wise.

However, this morning I knew I needed to walk. In spite of a later than planned start, I headed out at 8:30. Just as I started I had a thought that I needed to pay attention to nature in my walk. I needed to truly listen, I don't use an ipod or listen to music as I walk. As I walked I listened to the birds, noticed the buds on the tree and felt great. Then I took a turn and went a different way today. I simply walked where I was pulled. As I walked on the new road I saw that an animal had been hit by a car. I always feel sad when I see a dead animal and I try not to look while I say a small prayer for the animal as I pass.

This time as I passed I heard a small sneeze sound and saw a baby on the road, very very small pink baby. I thought it was the baby's last breath. I felt immense sadness, but kept walking. I thought "what can I do, that poor little baby is dying". Then I heard the sneeze sound again and again. I turned around. Mind you I didn't get very far at all, only to the next house. I stop my heart rate monitor and garmin and walk back to see what I could do. The little baby didn't appear to have any injuries. It was very young and its eyes were not open. I looked around and saw two other babies that didn't make the throw. I held him in my hands knowing that I had to do something and decided to take him home. Then I had the thought, what if there are more. I go back to the mother and see many babies in her pouch. I tried to get them but they were securely attached to her tit. I knew we would need to take the mother in to save the babies. Since I was over half a mile away from home, I moved the mother's body to the side of the road, gathered up the little one that I had picked up and headed home. I named him Wally. I talked to him as I walked home. I know I looked crazy. Luckily he was very small and people couldn't see what was in my hand. He wrapped himself around my fingers and his tail around my thumb. It was the neatest thing. When I got home I got the exact response I expected. I walked in saying that I needed everyone's help. We got a box for Wally and his siblings with a towel and while I dressed Bug Sweetie called wildlife rescue. Due to a possum having up to around 13 babies deep in the pouch we were instructed to bring the mother in as well. I called BestFriend and postponed our mani/pedi and headed to get the mother. Her body was cool but not stiff. This was a good sign that the babies in the pouch were still getting the remaining milk.
We were greeted by the nicest woman at wildlife rescue. She let us watch her take the babies out. She had 7 inside of her for a total of 8 that we saved. I told her Wally's name and she didn't think I was crazy - though I did find out Wally is a girl. We made a donation so they can help with the costs of the orphans. It was such a nice experience. They never asked for money. They did have a sign stating that they are a non-profit and the form asked for money - but we were never hounded to give. I appreciated that. She even said that we can call and ask how they are doing. And she said based on how big the babies were, though still very small, had a very high chance of survival.

This made me feel very good. Always listen to instincts. If it weren't for me making sure to listen to everything I heard and taking a different route, they might not have made it. And I love that I have a Sweetie who is so awesome with things like this. Bug didn't fully understand what was going on, but she has been in the best mood ever since. She knows we did something good.

I also dyed my hair last night. I decided to do something fun. BestFriend and I had our mani/pedi and a great lunch. It has been a GREAT Saturday. Even if I still need to get my 4 mile walk in :-)

Blog Block

Blogging has been "less than" lately. I love to blog, I love getting my thoughts out into my own little space, I love that others reading me. But I want it to have more purpose. It is my journal and these are my thoughts. But what is my point? Do I need a point?

The CPA exam is a huge stress for me right now. I have not been able to study as much as I would like. I have been listening to my lectures while working. I have learned that working in a cube has made my ability to zone out to reach a new level. I can completely not pay attention to this boring stuff. I am working on it though. It has to help, maybe it will get into my brain without me having to pay attention.

I think my thyroid is going to be on my mind for the rest of my life. I will wonder if I am hypo, hyper, healthy. I will question every feeling - is it starting again? I test myself to see if my brain is in a fog, BestFriend does the same. I seem to be "on". I don't want to go back on the medicine. I spent 8 months of 2007 over medicated and it was horrible. I don't want that again.

Work is going well. I can not get used to having a boss who listens, jokes, and understands mistakes if you own up to it and put in efforts so things do not happen again. Oh and the big one, he goes to bat for me. I have not had that since HES. It is a strange concept, that people aren't out to get me. And co-worker A is awesome. She takes care of me. If I am having a bad day she brings me diet coke and chocolate. And she talks me up when I am not there - or at least I think she does - there I go paranoid again.

My Bug is awesome. She is smarter by the day. Don't get me wrong, she is not a genius, and I don't want her to be. But her memory is amazing me. And she and I are able to talk now and interact in an awesome way. I love the little hard headed girl that she is. And I worry that everything will change with a second child. I loved being pregnant and I want Bug to have siblings but I worry. This is so much harder than deciding for the first one. And then there is my health, I worry I will have to go through everything I did after having Bug again. And then again, wouldn't it be worth it? When you ask if she wants a baby brother or sister she shakes her head no very dramatically. I think she knows another one would mean sharing. I never wanted a baby brother or sister. I was quite content with being the baby. I knew I didn't share well and never wanted to learn how. So I worry.

And our house. I love our little house. But I do want something bigger, something with more storage. We bought our house thinking we would be there a couple of years. Nine years later we are still there. We love our house. I love how open it is. We just need to organize. I don't want to move only to be stuck with a higher mortgage and find out the maternity leave here isn't what I was told, 100% of pay. And there is so much to do on our house for selling, and the market isn't great. Though based on our neighborhood we could potentially sell for 70k more than what we owe on it, so that makes us happy. We are going to work on getting it sale ready knowing full well we might just decide to stay a tad longer. Plus we have two wild cats we feed, yes I know you feed them and they never leave. We have two inside - two of the most spoiled cats in the world. You would think they never stepped foot outside. As long as they are coming to the back door, I don't see that we can leave. What if the next people don't feed them?

My weight loss is slow. I wish it were faster but I am not about to give up everything in order to lose quickly only for it to come back faster. And I have to remind myself that I am about 15 pounds lighter than SIL#2's wedding. That is awesome. But I feel slow compared to others in our at work group. I have to keep going, each pound makes me healthier. And I am like 38 pounds less than I was at my highest in 2004. All about being healthy.

Sweetie is so awesome with supporting me. He gives me time to get mani/pedis, he offers to take Bug out of the house so I can study, he notices when I clean and makes sure I know how much he appreciates all that I do, and he helps me with my work outs. I am very lucky and I know it.

I know some who are going through rough marriages right now. I hate it. I want to make it better. But ultimately I think if you aren't happy - change something. And if changing doesn't work, perhaps leaving is best. Life is too short to stay in an unhappy marriage. As I say, neutral is not an option. Make your life what you want. Either make the marriage the one that makes you happy or find the life you need to live. Sweetie and I have had rough times. For us making changes and refocusing was the best. BestFriend also went through this and divorce was the best. I just think that being unhappy cannot be an option. That only brings resentment.

I truly am feeling good. I think my thyroid is normal. I am noticing the weight loss. I feel stronger with my workouts. I feel smart at work - I answered an accounting question for my boss today - yep he is a CPA. Things are good. Now I need to focus on paying my taxes - ugh still pissed that we owe, make a plan for home improvements (and a loan if needed), and keep up with my studying. If only I could function on less sleep or create more hours in the day.

This has been long. Thanks for letting me get all of that out. Not sure where this blog is going. That is the nice thing. I am in charge here and I will guide it as we go. Have a great evening. I am going to enjoy the beautiful weather with another installment of my walk/run workout.

doing my part

I had the beginnings of a crappy day. I did our taxes last night. Let me just say - new tax bracket sucks. Oh and owing sucks.

But other than that, yesterday was good. We voted - yep we have done our part until November. This is not a political blog, but I am very happy that my household is an Obama one. We also played in a park, did our grocery shopping, and enjoyed a great lunch.

Then in the evening I started my walk/run program. It consists of running for one minute then walking for three repeating six times. Bug and Sweetie went with me. They are the best. My little coach would run ahead of me and encourage me to keep going. I learned that I can run for a minute without dying or my knee screaming. And I also learned that my 2.5 year old can run damn near 2 miles. My ultimate goal is to catch up to her abilities.

Today is a rest from walk/running. My knee is doing good. I am all about going at this with a slow approach. I am always the most sore two days after a workout - so I will be watching my knee closely tomorrow.

Now I am off to read to my Bug.

Mario Party

We are at Mom's working on some handy man work. Sweetie and MIL are hard at work with plumbing. Mom, Bug and I are trying to stay out of the way. It is a beautiful day. I started it early with a 3 mile walk. That felt great. I took it slow and steady and enjoyed the weather, birds, and myself. I am sore today as I did some weights on Thursday night.

We received good news at work yesterday regarding WW at work. We are continuing if we meet the number required for the meeting. That would mean I would have meetings through 7/11. I think that would help a lot.

Tomorrow I am trying a walk/run program. We shall see if I am ready for it yet. I know that my knee might not be up for it yet. And reluctantly, I am ok with that. But I will never know unless I try.

And a HUGE THANK YOU to Thomas. Your comment made my day!!

I have a ton of studying to do tonight. I was hoping to get some done last night, but I got the worst headache yesterday. Sure enough, it turned into a full migraine. NOT FUN. I have not had one that bad in so long. But I was smart and brought everything with me so I can work from mom's if needed. I am determined to get this damn test over with.

Happy

I am feeling GREAT today and in the best mood ever. I don't know what it is, but I think I might have won my battle over the looming sickness. I want to move my body, eat right, and feel healthy. I went to lunch today with some co-workers and I ate so very healthy. Yay me.

AND the director of Bug's school, the one that has almost caused me to pull Bug from the school. The one who has changed the whole feel of the place. Her last day at our location was yesterday. Today we have a new director. The decision was made yesterday, talk about some fast turn around. I am feeling optimistic about this. I was so so so excited when Bug's teacher told me, it made my evening. If only the solution had been the old director coming back, but I don't think that would happen. So YAY!!!!! That means looking for another school can be put off until June.

check in

I am fighting getting sick. Grrrr. I really want to walk tonight, but I am not sure if I will be able to. I don't want to make myself worse. Some nasty stuff is going around the office.

A co-worker gave me the starter for the amish friendship bread. It is a 10 day process. At the end you have bread you get to eat and 4 more starters to give away. Today is day 10. I have no idea who to give my 4 starters to. It is like an edible chain letter.

I am having such trouble getting back into eating right and exericsing. I didn't take that long off, exercise 1 week and eating 3 days. But it still seems harder to get back into it. I think I just need a relaxing evening. Perhaps tonight will be the night for that.

Short and sweet. I also started my review for the REG section of the CPA last night. We shall see.

Happy Birthday Brother!

Happy Birthday Brother!!! I had a great time celebrating your b-day with you tonight. Thank you for including me.

And I swiped this from SIL#2, it is so very true: "You're 6:49 a.m.
You're the time of day right around sunrise, when the sky is still a pale bluish gray. The streets are empty, and the grass and leaves are a little bit sparkly with dew. You are the sound of a few chirpy birds outside the window. You are quiet, peaceful, and contemplative. If you move slowly, it's not because you're lazy – it's because you know there's no reason to rush. You move like a relaxed cat, pausing for deep stretches that make your muscles feel alive. You are long sips of tea or coffee (out of a mug that's held with both hands) that slowly warm your insides just as the sun is brightening the sky."


Bug is doing better, much better actually. She started feeling better yesterday, though I am so glad I kept her home the one extra day. She is acting silly again, eating again, and no more fever. YAY. Today was spent watching her closely making sure no relapse as of yet. It was rainy so I did not get my walk in. I hope to get it in tomorrow. We did enjoy watching the rain. And when it stopped the birds came out. We received a bird feeder for Christmas. It was my favorite gift, as silly as it sounds. It is simply so peaceful to watch the birds feed. Today was filled with little red birds.

Tonight was a lot of fun. Brother, a friend of his, BestFriend, Sweetie, and I all went out. The evening consisted of shuffle board, pool, laser tag, rock wall, bowling, and much laughing. It was a lot of fun and I cannot believe that I am still awake at this hour. Best part of the night "it's a pickle" from BestFriend who bit into a fried pickle that she thought was cheese.

I have eaten very badly this weekend. I did it with the excuse of Brother's b-day. But I know the truth is from the stress of the week. No excuses, just time to get back on track.

Plus my mom got a great check up this past week. I can't let her be healthier than me now can I?

So goals for this next week include studying, exercising, and eating healthy.

where I start to lose my mind

Home again for the 4th day. Bug is finally starting to do better, FINALLY. Yesterday her fever was back to 102. But I think the antibiotics are finally kicking in as she is being her silly self this morning. That brings much relief. Working from home, going in late at night and before the sun is up, just plain sucks. I feel like I am a world away from my peeps. Luckily I have a great boss. I have to keep reminding myself that he is not asshole boss. I am going in this weekend to get ahead. Bug and I tried to make a trek to work a few minutes ago. She was all ready and wanting to get out of the house. Of course, she fell asleep on the way. I came back home and she woke up. Grrr. I think we will try again in a little bit. She is dying to get out of the house and she is no longer contagious.

I have been worried about Bug, not sleeping well, trying to keep myself healthy, and trying to make sure that I keep up at work. Not fun. I woke this morning annoyed at the world. I check the calendar and there isn't a reason for me to be bitchy, at least not that kind. I keep dreaming about an ex-friend who treated me very badly. This frustrates me. I know how I have changed since her. In my dreams I am the way I used to be. Maybe that is to point out how much I have changed, I don't know. But she keeps getting in my head. And then I get a message on m*y*S*p*ace about this ex-friend. No, I do not know what she is up to now. Just like the creditors who call for her, I don't know. It has been so long since I even talked to her. Everything is different.

Tomorrow is Brother's b-day. Tonight is the family celebration - need to clean. Tomorrow is the fun adult outing. This sounds like fun. I just hope Bug is up for it.

And I am bitchy. I am not even fully enjoying it being Friday because it doesn't feel like it to me. I have not been working out this week. I need to make sure that I get a 4 mile walk in this weekend.

But my Bug is being so good. And she is starting to act like herself again. She is a silly silly little girl. I think along with some good napping, cleaning, and pampering, we need to make sure to get out of the house. And as I write this she just came up to me and "got me" and we had to dance. That was a nice little reminder.

And because I hate being negative on my blog - here are some pictures to thank you for your time.
Cross at church during Ash Wednesday Service: DarkDiva the BellyDancing Queen: Bug feeling better - yes she is chewing on her tongue: And this is the picture I get when I ask to take a picture of her with her balloon:

still sick

My little Bug is still sick. Her fever was at 102 this morning, grrrr. We went to the Dr today. She has to be home tomorrow too. That sucks as she has a valentine's day party then. I worked from home yesterday and went in last night. I went in this morning and looks like I have to go back tonight. Sometimes the balance between mom and work just plain sucks. I am just lucky that I have the ability to work from home.

sick

So much to post. Friday night we went and watched DarkDiva belly dance, simply beautiful. Saturday started early with the 6k, brunch, and a much enjoyed 3 hour nap. That evening Sweetie and I planned to enjoy a date night. Bug still has not forgiven us for leaving. She would not let us go for our date. Before we even got to the point of saying good bye she went to Sweetie and said "no leave me daddy". The evening was still fun. It just proves that a plan B is always good. Sunday was the normal errands and getting ready for the week.

Bug has been fighting getting sick. All last week we watched her, her teacher watched her. We expected her to get sick by like Wednesday. Over the weekend she seemed to be doing better but not 100%. The thing is that she was not sick sick, no fever, no real bad cough - she gets an allergy cough, and her energy was high. This morning when we dropped her off she was good. She waved to us from the play ground and seemed happy.

Come 2:30 and I get a call from her teacher. She didn't have a fever but she wasn't feeling well. She was screaming if anyone looked at her, she didn't eat, and she woke from her nap unhappy. When I picked her up she was crying. As soon as she got in my arms she put her head down to sleep. She didn't feel like she had a bad fever, but it is hard to tell with her. Sure enough when I got home she was at 101.3. She has not been over 99 all last week. She got some meds in her and is now sleeping. And all week I have taken my temp along with her, to show her "mommy does it too". Mine all last week was 98. Yep, I am close to 100 now. Grrrr.

Needless to say, Sweetie says no working out tonight for me. Now I must make sure I get better so I can get Bug better. I think I am going to have to work from home tomorrow.

SRC Day 7: Walk 2 miles - complete

My Friends Hurt

I have friends who hurt. It is in my nature to want to make it all better. In 2006 I experienced my worst depression. I have come so far. I can see that. But I am not solid yet. To tend to my mental, spiritual, physical and emotional health sometimes means that I go inward. I am an introvert. And when I am working on myself I don't want distractions and I don't want to bother others. Add in that I love my family and cannot get enough time with them, and I sometimes come up as a lacking friend. I do not mean to be. I adore my friends. And if I could take away all of their pain and give them a lifetime of happiness, I would. I offer what I can. And if that isn't enough, I am sorry. I have been hurt by friends so I am cautious to trust. My good friends understand this. They understand that I am focusing on my health, on the CPA, and on making sure that I stay doing great. But I still feel guilty about not always being there.

If only there were more hours in the day, if only I could do everything I want to do.

It just seems that most everyone I love is going through a rough time right now. Be it sadness, divorce, struggling to understand one's purpose, fighting for a marriage, lonliness, or just a bad day, it is all over my peeps' lives.

And I hate to admit it, but I am human. I can only do so much, offer so much, and get in so deep. That doesn't mean don't vent to me, converse with me, or seek me as support. I LOVE all of that. All I am saying is that if I am taking time for me, I will let you know. If it isn't a good time, of if I am feeling overwhelmed, I will tell you. That probably doesn't make sense, it does to me. What I mean is please come chat, talk, and vent. Don't worry about it being too much, I promise to let you know if it is. Yes, I think that finally came out right.

Right now I know I am in an inward phase. This means my friends will need to do the contacting because I will not be good at it. I am the worst at returning phone calls or emails. Those who love me understand this. This does not mean that I don't want to chat, to hang out, or make plans. All it means is that I am focused right now and I know myself. It is so easy to say "oh I am thinking about so-and-so" and not follow through. I am not making excuses, just being quite honest.

My point? Oh yes, my friends. They are going through rough times. I am so very greatful that I am in a good place right now and I can try and offer some help.

Sometimes it just sucks being an adult and facing adult issues.

SRC Day 6: Rest - complete

SRC Day 5: Walk 2.5 miles - complete

SRC Day 4: P90 circuit 1-2 - complete

SRC Day 3: Walk 3 miles - complete

taking control

I know my blog has been boring lately, talking about happy things and so on and so forth. But here is more :-)

When I received my news on Thursday about my thyroid, I was so very happy. I cannot describe what it did to me. While there is a part of me that is nervous that in May I will be back to Graves', most of me is relieved. I feel so different. BestFriend can tell the difference when I am off and assured me before I received the results that I was normal still.

So no excuses. No excuses for not losing weight, for not being able to concentrate enough to study, for not having enough energy to keep up with things (though I have not had the extreme tiredness since getting off my meds at the beginning of Sept). I have said many times before that neutral is not an option. Not with my health, my marriage, my career, my family.... You get the idea. Idle is not productive.

But what really gets me is the impact of that call. I am so motivated to study now. Though I am blogging instead of cracking the books, but Bug is at the end of a nap and might wake any moment, and I want some quality me time. I feel like I can do anything right now. Not that everything is perfect, it isn't and never will be and quite frankly, I don't want it to be. But I feel solid, that is the only way to describe it.

With my diet I am not focusing on being thin thin. Hell, I am not even focusing on the weight guidelines from WW. Instead, I want to get to a certain number, what I weighed when my thyroid broke. My body loved that weight, as I maintained it for a number of years. It is still considered overweight, and I don't care. That might sound odd as I keep promoting healthy lifestyles and such and being overweight is a health risk and associated with several diseases. My thinking is that the BMI calculation is so flawed. If IronDiva is considered overweight, and OMG she is sooo not overweight, then there is a flaw. It doesn't take into account muscle. So if I get to this weight and I am active and feeling good that is all that matters. And so I am starting my third week of actually following WW and tracking my points and planning.

With weight loss there is needed exercise. Tell me to do an aerobics class three times a week to lose weight and I will not attend. Tell me that I need to complete a certain number of miles in a week to complete a race, I am totally there. I need a training schedule and a goal. There is something about my walking. I weighed 30 pounds heavier when I started training for the halves and was a little over 20 pounds heavier when I completed my second. When I walk I feel able, I feel healthy, and I feel peaceful. Yesterday started my 100 days to the end of the Spring Race Challenge. In my schedule Fridays are rest days. So, yesterday was easy to accomplish. I did not workout and so I was successful. Today is day 2. I did two workouts for all intents and purposes. We took MIL and Bug to the park. We played, climbed, crawled, ran, and kicked the ball. It was a good workout. However, it was not what I had on my training schedule to do. After the fun, Bug went to sleep. MIL and Sweetie went out to spend some time together and I stayed with Bug. If Bug takes a nap at home chances are that I will nap with her. If she has slept at home, I think I have taken a good 99% of the naps with her. Not today. Though I was tired and sleep would have been fun, I took the opportunity to work out. I did my p90 cardio 1-2 workout with abs. After a nice shower, I feel refreshed and accomplished.

Not only that but before getting together with MIL, I decided to clean and organize our bathroom. Our bathroom is not the guest bathroom so it gets put on the back burner. Today I decided I had enough and I did something about it. I feel so accomplished today.

SRC Day 2: P90 Cardio 1-2 & abs - complete

Go Red for Women

Today is the American Heart Association's Go Red for Women Day. Are you wearing your red? Heart disease is the biggest killer of women. I feel strongly about this. I am lucky that healthy hearts run in my family, but I have to take care of myself. I am wearing red. Much like my involvement with cancer fighting charities, I feel this one is important. Both promote healthy lifestyles. And truly, I believe that is one of the main factors in our fight.

Not only am I wearing red, wearing my red dress pin, and my American Heart Association "Start" pin, but Mom and I are also giving blood today. Remember every 8 weeks you can give blood. And everytime you give blood, you save two lives.

So give blood, exercise, and eat right. Yes, that is the focus today. Plus I lost 3.2 pounds this week at weigh in. WOO HOO. I am doing good. This weekend is going to be about relaxing, exercising, studying, and trying to be productive. Sounds fun, huh?

SRC Day 1: Rest - complete

Hopeful Remission

Quick blog. Got blood tested yesterday. I am NORMAL AGAIN. 5 months no meds and I am normal. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! I go back end of May. So 4 months this time. I think if I am normal again they will use the remission word.

Bottom line - no reason that I should not study and pass the CPA.

NORMAL feels so good.

BestFriend proves herself

What will get me and my family up at 5am on a Sunday? Not much. But one person can. Even when she says that I don't need to, that it isn't expected, that I am silly, I do it. Mom even came as a surprise. What was the event? BestFriend's first Half Maraton. Oh ya, that is big.

The celebration started yesterday. Well, first backtrack a little. This past year has been probably one of the hardest of her life. She went through a divorce and has had to do a lot of self-valuation. She and I met in Dec 2001 and hit it off right away - though the story is that I hated her at first. She was a complete change from my friend at the time. She supported me from the very beginning in anything I set my mind to.

When she decided to do the 3M Half Marathon I told her that I would not train for it. She was at my second half marathon, the main one. The best part of my race was seeing her on the route in a big green hat cheering me on. We do a lot of 5ks. She is a runner and I am a walker. This means that she is there when I cross the line, but I don't get to cheer her on. And with the 5ks that I have sat out, I have always missed her crossing. So I told her that this one was all about her.

She wanted to be alone yesterday. I would not stand for it. She needed to make today a big deal, she needed to recognize how big this is for her. So I kidnapped her. We picked up her race packet first (OMG when you do a 3M marathon you get SOOO many post it notes). Then we went to the Bazaar to try on wigs. BestFriend bought me a pink wig. We had too much fun. After this we needed a snack, off to Starbucks we go. On the way I put my wig on. When we got out of the car and I left it on, BestFriend was a little surprised. Yep, I wore it all day. After a quick stop a toy store we headed to a day spa for a mani/pedi. BestFriend put on her purple/gold wing on for this. It was so funny and so silly. After our hands were soft and toes pretty, we went to an early dinner at Kerby Lane, with the wigs on, of course. Now this is Austin, people have strange colored hair all over. We got the most looks at KerbyLane where the waiters have piercings all over, tattoos all over, and strange hair - so funny.

This morning began at 5am. At 5:30 I checked on Bug to see how she was. If she was sleeping soundly I would have Sweetie and Bug meet me at the finish. I told BestFriend I would take her to the race. She needed loving support right beforehand. But Bug was awake. She was ready to go. So Mom, Bug, Sweetie, and I all took BestFriend to the start. This turned out to be perfect as the parking was crazy and this way she didn't have to worry about it and we dropped her off near the start.We then went to near the 5k point, 3.1 miles. I wanted to see her early on, to see how she was holding up. Here is Mom and Bug waiting for BestFriend: Here is BestFriend at close to 3.1 point: Then we moved around the 10th mile marker: And last but not least, the finish line, picture courtesy of Sweetie who went to the 3rd level of a parking garage so he could get her crossing the finish line: She was hoping for a time less than 3 hours. She did less than 2.5 hours. She is amazing. I am very proud of her. It was a great weekend. I am so happy to be a part of such an important event for her.

Got some walking to do

Tomorrow is weigh in. I have been SO good. I am not expecting a huge loss, as I have no idea where my thyroid is right now, but I am feeling in control of myself and that is good. AND that is even with Girlscout cookies in the house. I think the main difference is what happened on vacation. We walked a lot and I thought a lot and I am pretty comfortable in my skin. I am not losing weight because I don't like myself or how I look. I am losing weight to be healthier for Bug. Realizing that changed everything. It doesn't matter if I get skinny skinny if I am healthier overall. And I can't say "oh I want to lose this much before getting pregnant" because I was 30 pounds heavier when I got pregnant with Bug.

I am back on the CPA bandwagon. Not sure when I will test, but I need to get it done. My boss and I were discussing it and I am tired of listing my reasons, as good as they may be.

And I found a Spring Distance Challenge that I want to do. It is 5 races (5k,10k,5k,10k, and a 5k) from 3/15-5/10. Add in the Cupid Challenge in Feb, and I am going to be set with my walking.

So my focus is going to be studying and walking. I normally put off the walking to "study" but this time I know I need to walk to be healthy in order to test properly. Now I just need to figure out when to do all of this. I think my lunches will be spent doing problems. Hey that does give me about 5 more hours a week of studying. I will figure it out. The most important thing is that I have the BEST family in the world as far as support and helping me with my goals.

such a monday

I am not having a bad day per say. But it is having its moments. We woke up a tad later than we were doing last week. Bug wanted to play and snuggle - not that there is anything wrong with that, we had fun and made sure to squish her properly. But things were off.

And everything hits at once. Our dryer is making strange noises, our lawn mower is dead, our hot water heater is making noises I don't like - though Sweetie assures me that they are the normal sounds. The house is unorganized. I need to start studying for the CPA again and I feel overwhelmed with organizing the house instead of sitting and studying. I know it is procrastination.

The vacation was everything I could have hoped for. Our renewal was beautiful. The surprise was amazing. But now back into reality. I had a semi sad day yesterday. Nothing horrible. But I planned a brunch with my friends and I didn't get to enjoy their company as much as I would have liked. Just an off day.

Today is gloomy outside. It makes me want to crawl onto my couch with a blanket, a Bug, and a Sweetie. And my training for my 10k needs to start this week. Of course, during the week of cold and wet.

Something interesting. I was looking through spreadsheets and found my weigh in from last year. I weigh the same today as I did last year. Just when I thought I had failed and gained weight, I didn't. I may not have lost, but at least I didn't gain. And considering my thyroid roller coaster, it makes me very proud. But it was also a reminder that the scale is not all that. While I am still doing WW and they still focus on weight, I am not focusing on the weight I need to be. I am focusing on one goal at a time and then moving on. I walked so much and did so much on my vacation that I feel much more comfortable in my skin.

Tonight I am hoping to work out and get some chores complete. Add in some snuggles, giggles, hiding, running, "play me"s, and a huge bubble bath and I will be in heaven. This weather is making my skin so dry, I want nothing more than to lather myself in lotion after our bath.

I am feeling better. I am not going to let sadness get to me. Nope nope.

Saturday Fun

I am feeling great today. We slept in a little, ate a wonderful breakfast, did a little shopping, and now back at home for lunch and a nap. Tonight is going to be a fun. SIL#1 and Brother's dog had puppies yesterday and we are going to see the puppies and celebrate her b-day.

I am back on track with my eating. And I am feeling good for it. I was a little worried. Co-worker A got sick on Wednesday and missed two days of work because of it. She was sick sick and I was worried I would get it. So far so good. I just hope she feels up to coming back on Monday.

And I leave you with a photo from the renewal.

almost back to normal

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIL#1!!!!

Getting back into the normal routine is hard enough on us adults, it is even harder on a 2.5 year old who doesn't understand what happened. I have been exhausted since getting back. Today was the first day that I felt half way normal and right now I am beat. I know it is the adjusting. Adjusting back to work, back to reality, back to the cold, shut it - cold for Austin. All three of us have been going to bed very early.

We walked so much over the vacation and I desperately want to keep that up. Tomorrow is weigh in. I have missed three weeks worth of weighing in. I am down from when I left on my vacation, but up slightly still due to Christmas. That is how it works. I am not beating myself up for it, I am proud of the vacation lack of weight gain.

Two weeks until I get my blood work done again, yep right back to reality. We toyed with the idea of trying to get pregnant over our second honeymoon, but thought better of it as we are still not out of the 6 month waiting period since stopping my meds. And I do want to know where my thyroid is now. I tell you deciding to have the second is so much harder than the first.

I have had several people ask where the photos are. The last two nights we did nothing productive. We ate, played, and went to bed. Hopefully I can get on this weekend and add them to my flicker, too many to post here.

And what the hell happened while I was gone. We went through Atlanta and met some of the rudest people working at the airport. And while no one was truly rude to us in Barbados (less one time at the bus station, but we aren't dwelling on that) and the cruise, I was missing my Austin niceness. Since I have returned I have only come across rudeness. Seriously did something cosmic happen?

It is time for me to go and get my little girl. She grew so much while I was gone. I missed her so much. I know - everyone should be SHOCKED by that. Have a great evening and I will let you know when more photos are up for viewing.

almost back to normal

Today was good. Bug and I had a relaxing day. Grocery shopping complete, laundry in the wash. I took a small nap but am still exhausted.

This was the back drop to our renewal ceremony. And here we are after our day walking at St Martin/St Maartin - over 9 miles to the airport.Many more pictures to come. We have 735 so far, and over 200 still to upload.

Home again Home again

We got home at 11 last night. We started our travels home at 4am (2am home time). That makes for 21 hours of travel time. I am home today in attempts to regroup and recoup. We need laundry done and I need to go to the grocery store.

I am still in a blissful state from my vacation. More stories to come. Here is the low down - in bullet form, of course.

• 4 days in Barbados
• 4 lighthouses
• walked a ton
• 7 day cruise on a huge 5 sail sail-boat
• six days of beautiful islands
  
• saw beautiful rain forests
• renewed our vows at sunset on the boat with the captain
  
• great showers
• great food and naps
• zip-lined through the St Lucia Rain Forest. SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!
• So grateful for all of the help at home. I don't know how we will ever express our gratitude.
  
• And it looks like I didn't gain any weight on my 11 day vacation. And believe me I ate a ton, guess all the walking paid off.
  

More to come.

Check in

We are GREAT, safe happy, and SO IN LOVE. Details to come, of course. Internet is slow.Sweetie won a bottle of rum tonight with a limbo contest. We have been having OUR kind of vacation, no stress, laid back, tons of walking, tons of talking, tons of pictures, and great sex. What else could I ask for during my second honeymoon.

leaving on a jet plane

And the anniversary fun begins. I just got back from work and making sure everything is set, yep it is after 10:30.

Happy 2008

Last night was a lot of fun. We laughed, drank, talked, reminisced, drank more, and had a great time. And my pain wasn't too bad this morning. Nothing a diet coke and sausage kolaches couldn't fix. It is so funny to meet up with friends that you have not seen in 15 years. Today was the normal dinner with black eyed peas and a nice nap.

I am so excited about 2008. Not only is my anniversary two days away, but we are hoping for continued health, happiness, and family time.

I have pictures to post, just need to upload them.

OK off to bed.