100 things about me

1.I was a bicentennial baby
2.Never lived more than 15 miles from the hospital I was born
3.I can be very silly
4.I can be very serious
5.I believe in comfort over fashion
6.I am 5'
7.I met my husband when I was 15
8.Married when I was 21
9.our honeymoon was at Disney World, it was wonderful
10.we are still together and are very happy
11.in fact happier than we have ever been
12.My family is very important to me
13.and often try to solve all their problems - rarely does this happen
14.I had four majors before deciding on accounting
15.I still long to do something with psychology
16.I was the first in my family to earn a college degree
17.Daisies are my favorite flower
18.Butterflies are also my favorite
19.they tend to follow me during stressful/emotional times
20.Did not ride a roller coaster until I was 16
21.It was the Texas Giant in Six Flags in Dallas
22.First airplane trip was when I was 18
23.It was my first time to leave the state of Texas and the country
24.When I am stressed I am obsessive about biting off all my nails
25.When I am writing a paper I am the same way about my toe nails
26.no, I do not bite them - I have to clip them
27.although I could physically bite my big toe nail before pregnancy
28.even with being overweight
29.I do not smoke
30.although I have smoked and "smoked" in the past
31.but never as a habit or on a consistent basis - purely social for both
32.and did not try "smoking" until I was 22 - I didn't care for it
33.I have never tried anything harder
34.I do not drink coffee in the mornings
35.instead I crave cold water and drink it all day
36.I like to drink Shirley Temples
37.They remind me of my Grandpa
38.As well as Tin Roof Ice-cream and Root Beer Floats
39.I received my love for ice-cream from him
40.I only drink alcohol on a social basis
41.and when this happens it is normally way too much
42.I am a "love everyone" drunk
43.I have lost more family members than currently survive
44.With every loss I try to focus on improving my life
45.when we lost my father-in-law my husband, then fiancee, and I moved in together
46.when we lost my father we moved up the wedding
47.when we lost my grandpa is when I started looking at going back to school
48.although it took a year before I got my butt in gear
49.I love being married
50.we have grown from mistakes
51.once you realize you really are with a person by choice - things can't help but improve
52.I know I am free to leave - I want to stay
53.I like watching stupid tv reruns before going to bed
54.I like thunder storms
55.I sing in the mornings - not only in the shower
56.mostly made up songs to the cats and my Husband
57.I have six cats - yes way too many
58.they are my furry children
59.we always wanted children
60.but wanted to wait until after I completed my education
61.I think we will be better parents for it
62.I will graduate when I am 36 weeks pregnant
63.I suffer from, and fight, depression
64.I do not like to use medication
65.It makes me feel numb
66.when I am upset, I tend to keep it in and try to stay away from others
67.a stress relief tool for me is a nice bubble bath or a long walk
68.One of my biggest accomplishments is financial independence
69.I sleep with a stuffed pooh bear
70.I get teary eyed with the national anthem
71.I use music as therapy
72.Such as Chicago, Tori Amos, and Sarah McLachlan
73.During hard times I listen to one album over and over
74.This repetition also works with movies
75.my mother and I reached a point of quoting lines from Steel Magnolias
76.it is how we bonded after my grandmother's death
77.I have completed two half marathons for charity
78.these were huge accomplishments
79.My husband met me on the course of the second and cheered me on until the end
80.I want a job that helps the community
81.my favorite thing in the world is being in my husband's arms
82.there is nothing more comforting to me - regardless of the situation
83.I am short enough that he can rest his chin on my head when he holds me
84.I am more of a morning person than a night owl
85.however, I have trouble getting myself to go to bed early
86.I love to take naps
87.I can sleep anywhere
88.unless it is the middle of the night and an Abby cat is meowing constantly
89.I can stress about anything
90.however, I like instant gratification
91.I am very close to my mom
92.I wish I was closer to my brother - I am working on this one
93.I want to live in other parts of the country
94.but not yet, my family needs me here
95.I want to be a better person (daughter, wife, friend, sister)
96.I do not have many good friends
97.But the ones I have mean the world to me
98.My friends now would never betray me - as I have experienced in the past
99.I believe in fate and in soul mates
100.I do not hold grudges, rather I try to focus on forgiveness.

Chemical Days

Today is rainy and yucky.

I am currently at Best Friend’s house. Everyone else (Best Friend’s Husband, Best Friend’s Oldest Friend, and my Sweetie) is busy playing FFXI. Luckily, I have my computer with me. Days like this are good. I love hanging out with these people. They really are wonderful for me.

Yesterday, I was able to leave work at 12:30. This was a wonderful treat after all the long hours of late. I planned to take a long bubble bath and pamper myself. However, since I am still not feeling wonderful, I ended up sleeping for 3 hours. Apparently, I needed it.

Yesterday afternoon and this morning have been hard chemical days. These are hard on my Sweetie. He feels powerless. While this was nothing like any bad days in the past, or even a few months ago, he reacts the same way. He tries anything to make me happy. While I do not like using chemicals even when I am not pregnant, bad days feel harder in some respects now. Perhaps it is because I have not kept up with my walking. Or because I really haven’t taken long bubble baths as I used to – for fear of being too hot. The good news is that I got a thermometer – so I will know for sure.

My Sweetie knows that being around others helps. Even if I swear that I want to live in my closet for a weekend, he will not allow it. Moreover, every time, yes 100%, I end up thanking him for making me get out of the house. While I did not try to stay home today – we are celebrating Best Friend’s Oldest Friend’s B-day. I did start feeling better after getting out and about.

The even nicer part is that Best Friend understands that I am pregnant and tire easily. Because of this, she set her bed up with fresh sheets for me as soon as I feel the need to begin checking for eye leaks.

There will most likely be more than one post tonight. I am in a blogging mood.

Happy Birthday Brother

Today is my Brother's 36th b-day. He is home and doing well. Unfortunately, SIL is sick so he came out to my house to celebrate. He is doing well, still gaining back his strength. My Sweetie, Mother, Brother, and I had a wonderful evening simply talking. It was great. I, however, still have a cough and this worries my brother. No worries, I am doing much better today.

My Sweetie and I are still debating names, not debating against each other. No, we agree – maybe that is the problem, we agree too much. We have it down to two names – no, I am not telling. One is classic with historic meaning. The other is original. It is a hard decision.

Baby is moving so much lately. It is a very strange experience for me to realize that I am two now. I am never alone. Everything that I do must involve consideration of her. I love it. This realization is more now since her movement has increased. I feel her moving during meetings and I hope that I am not smiling too much. Apparently, she likes the way I sit at work. She is active during this time. This is good since this is when I need her to be active – to remind me about my goals. This reminds me of the Simpson’s episode where Homer puts pictures of Maggie around a sign so that it reads “Do it for her”.

Although my Sweetie felt Baby move twice, he still touches my stomach every chance he gets. This makes me very happy. My Brother was getting a kick out of my princess status and how My Sweetie takes such good care of me.

Tuesday we get to see our little angel again. I cannot wait. I hope we get a definite answer on the sex. Hard to believe another month has passed. Hard to believe it was 22 weeks ago this Saturday that I got pregnant. It seems this pregnancy is going so quickly. There is so much to do. So much to prepare the nursery. Almost enough to make me crazy. On top of this, I have school to keep up with large assignments, which makes sense for the final class in the MBA program. I have class on Saturday from 8:30-12:30 – no sleeping in for me. Then on Sunday, I have a group meeting. This is not going to be the resting weekend that I hoped.

Melted Heart

Valentine’s day. Overall, it was a good day. My brother went home from the hospital – VERY good news.

Yesterday started with more simple pleasures. As I have described before, iTrip can be a wonderful invention. My Sweetie pulled next to me during our drive into work while noticeably singing aloud. I turn on the radio to hear what he is listening to – and it was one of our songs. As our cars began to part ways I looked over and saw him signing “I love you always”. I signed it back and had a large smile on my face all the way to work. It made me so happy.

Work was not good. Not at all. I even worked late. An 11 hour day sucks on Valentine’s day. Good thing I left when I did. My Sweetie was about to drive to my work and take me home. I arrived home to a homemade card, the best kind and a large melted chocolate heart. The theme was that his heart melts for me. It was wonderful.

For dinner we had exactly what I was craving – chili cheese dogs. It was so good. We sat together and watched T.V. It was perfect. While it will never top the Valentine’s of 1997, it was exactly what I needed.

The Weekend Comes to a Close

Today my brother was in a new hospital room. This is wonderful. His doctor said he can go home whenever he is ready. Brother is being wise to make sure that his strength returns.

Sleeping last night was hard, cold kept me awake. This allowed for a time during the early morning where my Sweetie and I were awake while lying in bed. A nice short, but strong, storm rolled into the darkness that simply sounded wonderful. If we were sleeping as we normally are during this hour, we would have missed this wonderful sound. As I said before, the simplest pleasures are the best.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. My Sweetie and I have some plans - pending I complete a paper due at 11:00 tomorrow night. I know we are wild and crazy people, but chili cheese hot dogs while watching a DVD sounds perfect.

My Brother made a few comments over the weekend about how happy watching my Sweetie and I make him. You see my Sweetie openly shows his love for my belly and me. Regardless of where we are – home, grocery store, or even a hospital – he can be found caressing and kissing my rounded belly. He is so happy about this baby. He is so passionate about us. He is so confident in our future. He is my Husband.

Brother Updates!!!

First, I must say I am still feeling pretty crappy. I worked 12 hours yesterday and it took its toll.

Now on to more important things. My brother is doing so much better. This morning we receive a call from the hospital. It was my brother asking when we were planning to visit - he was bored. However, this is huge. Not only is he awake, but also able to talk since all tubes were removed. The even better part? He spent the whole day sitting in his chair. OK that is not the even better part. The best part? They are moving him out of ICU. He would have moved today but there were 9 patients ahead of him waiting on a room. That is fine by me. All that matters is that the doctors are saying he is allowed to move ☺

Now all I have to focus on is getting me better. I am so relieved.

Pregnancy and Valentine's Day

I was able to work a half day today. That is an improvement. Good news is that my brother is no longer sedated. As of last night, he was conscious when my mother visited. Although he could not speak because of being ventilated, this is a big improvement. Of course, I will keep everyone updated.

One thing I must say is that my Sweetie takes the best care of me. He truly loves me and that is obvious. I am feeling sick and have a big belly, yet he is still interested in me in that oh so nice way ;-)

I have been thinking of how my life is different now that I am “with child”.
~Weight down 4 pounds.
~No longer take Excedrin on a daily basis
~No more in-grown toe-nails – I know TMI
~Increased self-esteem
~Bigger Boobies ☺
~Pregnancy Glow
~Treated like a princess on a daily basis now
~No longer have to suck in my belly – I couldn’t even if I tried – and people like looking at my belly now
~An improved outlook on life
~Falling in love with my Sweetie all over again

I love this. I love being pregnant, I love being a princess. As I write this, my Sweetie is cooking dinner while singing cute songs to me. Not saying that I do this, but this is a good sign that we are soul-mates.

Monday is the eighth anniversary of my Sweetie proposing to me. As he does most things, this was very grand and romantic. No other Valentine’s Day will ever live up to the night he described to 200 strangers how, since he had me, he no longer needed any of his senses. He called me up on stage and lowered to one knee. Needless to say, I said yes. He even had my parents and my god-mother in the balcony watching everything. It was the most romantic and wonderful way to begin the next step in our life.

Life is good.

Home Sick :-(

The colds around the office, a co-worker bringing her sick child to work on Monday, and the stress of this week finally casused me to get sick. I fought for two weeks. However, today I woke with a fever, coughing, sore throat, and stuffed nose. FUN!

Work is busy now and me being home doesn't help a thing. Luckily I am ahead of the deadline. I hope I make it to work tomorrow. In order to do that, I must take care of myself today. I am in bed right now with water and kleenex. I even ate breakfast - I had to or I will awake feeling worse thanks to my inner child.

Now it is time for the kitties to do their job and make me all better.

Fat Tuesday

My brother is still in ICU. He is no longer sedated through medical means. However, he is not completely coherent. I will feel much better when he is in a hospital room. The bad part is that his b-day is next Wednesday.

I am trying to keep the stress down – however, today it was harder. Today is day 5 of my brother’s hospital visit and it is starting to really worry me. I am working on relaxation techniques and my Sweetie is helping to relax me before going to bed, the best foot massages and reading to my belly.

For now I am very tired and full from a wonderful pancake supper – Happy Fat Tuesday.

Tomorrow we begin Lent.

ESP, Carnaval, and ICU

Unfortunately, since Friday, my life has not been very wonderful. Friday morning I woke up feeling not very well. I know that my body has been fighting a cold for a couple of weeks. I thought about taking an early afternoon.

Once again, my E.S.P. set in. On Thursday, after a 3 hour meeting without food or water, I felt exhausted. I told my Sweetie that I felt as though I would pass out. Knowing I had plans with my Divas that night - he replied instantly that he would pick me up from work and take me to DarkDiva’s b-day gathering. He is always my knight in shining armor without a moment’s hesitation. The evening was very lovely. We gave her a nice pen to use during her classes is pursuit of becoming a doctor.

This leads us into Friday morning. My Sweetie had to take me into work - since we left mine the day before. Due to a shortage in the gas take, the time between our offices took longer than normal. While at work, I suddenly got a fear that he was trying to get a hold of me. I pull out my cell phone – dead. This did not make me feel well. I continue to work assuming that I am overreacting. When I see my Sweetie on im, I am very relieved.

However, it was not my Sweetie that I was receiving. A few minutes later, I receive a call from an outside-unrecognized line. It is my SIL – Brother’s wife (I realize now that I write SIL for both of my SILs – I have two). She tells me that my brother went to the sleep study the night before and that now they were admitting him to the ICU. By the end of the call, she was crying – and very frantic. I told her that I would meet her at the hospital. I e-mail a couple of people and let my boss know the situation – a situation that I was unsure.

I spent the day with my mother at the hospital. The bottom line is that his Carbon Dioxide is too high – this is causing many problems, one is an enlarged heart. I did get a chance to speak with him Friday afternoon – he was sleeping during the morning and mid-afternoon. He was doing well – although still very sick. We left during a shift change for dinner. By the time we returned, he was on a ventilator due to not waking easy enough after falling asleep. From this point, he has been sedated.

My Sweetie and I did not visit the hospital yesterday. However, my mother was there for most of the day. We had plans to baby-sit for Dark Diva while she went to Carnaval. I took it easy during the day – knowing my mom would call if she needed me. I have to make sure that I do not let everything stress me too much. The evening was wonderful with the girls. DarkDiva painted MotoDiva with red and yellow - sans bra. She was beautiful. Along with a red feather headpiece and you have a carnaval outfit. Dark Diva was gorgeous with an Indian type outfit. Neither could walk on normal streets with their outfits – which made them even more irrestible. I cannot wait until next year – I will be there. From what it sounds, I will be painted. The girls were wonderful – a welcomed distraction.

Today, after everyone returned home from the hotel – my Sweetie and I headed back to the hospital. The good news is that brother’s swelling is down (have to assume it is a good sign) – although he is still sedated.

Now I am trying to make sure that everything for this next week is complete as well as relaxing. I will be back at the hospital tomorrow after work. I will not go into the history, but my brother has had a pretty crappy hand dealt to him health wise.

So everyone, please keep him in your thoughts. He will be 36 this month – much too young to go through any of this.

Simple Pleasures

After an interesting day – and not in the best of ways – with work, I found great comfort in my evening plans.

As I have mentioned before, sometimes the simplest of dates are the best. For Christmas, my Sweetie gave me a cookbook for Newlyweds. While we are no longer newlyweds, the cookbook is wonderful with traditions and elegant meals. His intent was that our family is starting and he wants dinnertime to be very special.

We have a goal of cooking a meal from complete scratch once a week – this being easier said than done when a pregnant wife does not know what she will want to eat. Of course, this goal also came about this weekend. We shall see how long it continues. While we made out the grocery list over the weekend, we were determined to find something to cook together.

My Sweetie and I arrived home at about the same time. This is very nice. We both started working on the meal. There is something so wonderful about cooking together. It was a nice change of pace for me since recently

I do not help prepare the meal. I am a princess – leave me be.

Seriously, my Sweetie takes great pride in taking care of me.

Cooking together last night was wonderful. We each took care of a needed item without anything feeling like a chore. The results? In less than 30 minutes we made a wonderful meal from scratch. We had pork stir-fry over rice with peanuts. It was so good; because of not only the delicious recipe, but also the way we made the food. This will become a part of our regular routine.

I have to interrupt my post. My Sweetie just called me at work to make me listen to a very silly song. This is something I love about this man. He is so silly. Moreover, a large part of this silliness is how we can be silly together. He can be himself – even when being himself means laughing at lama songs.

After dinner we headed out into the 30 something degree weather for ice cream. Doesn’t everyone think of eating ice cream in cold weather? We settled on Mocha Almond Fudge along with Magic shell, caramel, and chopped nuts. That was so much fun.

I love wonderful dates that involve staying home.

"Is that sorry on your breath?" Allison Kraus

Forgiveness, apologies, and mental growth.

Much as an alcoholic will not be able to seek help until ready, the same goes for correcting wrongs or forgiving those wrongs done unto you.

There are many things in my head today. Some are because of hormones. Some are because of the time of year. Next Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. I plan to attend my school’s services during the day. It has been a long time since I walked around with ashes on my forehead. It takes a confidence and pride to do this. I feel this Easter season will prove rather emotional.

I am in a transitional point in my life. This pregnancy brought much reflection and contemplation about my life. Please know that I do not mean to bore you with too many details, I simply wish to discuss the process.

In AA, the eighth step in the 12-step program involves listing those who you wronged and becoming able to reach the point of making amends. I believe this, much like all of the steps, are valid goals for any individual. It takes being in a certain place in your life to complete such a task; you must be confident and have come to grips with the issues at hand. This process cannot be forced. When a person requests an apology, this is useless. A better approach would be to wait, regardless of how hard, for the true apology. Not only will it be more sincere, but will mean more than a forced response. It is much like hearing “I love you” without saying it first; it simply means more.

I also believe that a step that is as important as making amends is the ability to forgive. This can be difficult. Holding a grudge or hatred inside can be addictive. This is not healthy. It takes great inner searching and understanding to forgive. I am not speaking of contacting the person, though sometimes that helps. I mean to get to a place where you can think of the situation without hurt feelings. This takes time.

My Sweetie thinks that I am very compassionate. It is one of the reasons that he loves me so. Part of this involves my ability to forgive. While people may drive me crazy in the short term – I try to not hold any grudges. He believes that when I forgive, I do so as fully as I can, as well as quickly. My life proves this. I can forgive those who hurt me deeply. I will even continue to feel compassionate about their lives and situations.

Through this pregnancy, I have reached forgiveness on many levels, for things that happened years ago – and some more recent. As adults, we carry discontent, anger, frustration, or feelings of failed expectations. Some of these feelings stem back to our childhood. Discovering that parents are simply adults is a hard lesson to learn. My pregnancy is even more profound in this sense because I am the same age as my mom when she had me, I will even deliver in the same hospital. It gives me a completely new perspective on my childhood. When I look back now, I think of the hardships that my parents experienced. I see them as adults – no longer the super heroes with expectations of unrealistic proportions. No, this does not mean that they fell; in fact removing expectations (and associated disappointment) causes them to rise.

Whether it is forgiveness or seeking amends, it takes time. There is no set amount of time to expect either to occur, for yourself or others. However, when you reach the mental growth to accept and stop the dwelling on issues in the past, it feels wonderful. It feels like a weight removed from your chest. Really, it all boils down to life being too short to hold such negative energy inside.

I hope that the second half of my pregnancy proves to provide as much growth as the first half. The growth that I have experienced truly is a transcendence one.

Long time and no blogging?

I am here. I was surprised today to see that my last post was on Wednesday. Since then, things have been quite crazy. Wednesday night my Sweetie and I decided to have an impromptu date night. He picked me up from work and we went to the mall for a little shopping and dinner. It was so wonderful. The simplest of dates can seem the most romantic.

Thursday and Friday were very hectic. My boss was out of town the majority of the week due to a death in his family. We are in a crunch time and I had to do some overtime to compensate for his absence. Boy did I miss him.

The weekend was very family and friend oriented.
~Friday night we had dinner with my brother, SIL, and mom. It was a nice relaxing visit that I hope occurs more often.
~Saturday afternoon involved going to the horrible BabiesRus again. It wasn't so terrible this time. We looked at cribs, and I think we made a decision. We also looked at strollers very closely. Of course, the car seat that we like does not come on the stroller that we like.
~Saturday night was hanging out with Best Friend and her husband and oldest friend. We had a blast. I love it when the 5 of us get together.
~Sunday was the normal errands as well as some visit time with MIL and niece.

My weekend ended with me starting my first paper for Capstone - welcome back, here write a paper, and my Sweetie cooking me dinner - as always.

I am feeling a little sick today - like I am catching a cold. I am determined that I am not getting sick - I don't have time for it.

Pregnant Ramblings

Today I am in a much better mood. Actually the drive home last night helped a lot. It looks like another beautiful day here in Austin. While I love the cold, or at least what we call cold, and rainy days - the weather this week has been uplifting. Yesterday my Sweetie and I had lunch outside - it was wonderful.

I know that you got sick of hearing about me feeling ill - but now it is the exhaustion that is kicking my butt. By 10:30 I pass out as if it is 2am. I sleep for 9 hours and still wake with slight bags under my eyes. The worst part is that I am not even getting up to go to the bathroom during the night - so there goes that excuse.

Remember that list that I keep mentioning - yes I still need to start it. This semester is very busy with my capstone course. It is one thing to slack off when only your grade suffers. This time I have two companies waiting and relying on my analysis and hard work - this means no procrastination. This is so much easier said than done.

Did I mention that I am tired?

I have so enjoyed my time off in-between semesters. It is going to be a struggle to get back into a routine. My Sweetie and I have had so much fun just enjoying each other's company. But it will be so worth it in May. I did find out that my class ends on April 20th. That means I will have three weeks before graduation to focus on baby.
Which is good because I want the nursery finished before graduation. No stress that is only 15.5 weeks away :-)

One issue with this point in my pregnancy is the emotions. I am obviously pregnant now - everyone can tell.

Side note : today while I was waiting for the microwave to heat my lunch, I was speaking with a guy from Revenue. He is a dad and a great guy. He didn't know if I was for sure - smart man - so he asked if I have anything going on outside of work right now. I wish I could tell his wife how good he was.

As my belly expands I think more and more about being pregnant. I also think more and more about my life and being an adult. I think about those who are not here to enjoy this time with me. I think about how my baby will not have a grandfather. Not trying to change the mood of this post - it is just something that I think about. I also think about all the fun we are going to have. And how spoiled she is going to be because of her Grandmothers.

Now the big issue is a name. This is a hard hard hard decision. I want a name that is strong and distinguished. I want something that is feminine but adult.

And in case anyone is wondering - the heart burn arrived this past week. The next 19.5 weeks are going to be interesting.

Post Appointment Blues

Ok not as bad as it sounds. I am tired today. I also feel some chemical depression. Nothing caused it, or promoted such feelings. But I feel like I am out of touch with life and simply want to go and hide in my closet this evening - hey there is a plug in there and I have wireless so I would be all set.

The weather is perfect outside - a nice 76 degrees with a clear blue sky as I write this. If I get home while the sun is still in the sky, I may spend some time on my swing.

Between work, school, and baby there is so much going on right now. It is downright overwhelming. There is so much to do before baby arrives. School started up on Saturday and we are right into the mix. It is going to be a rough semester - thinking CPA needs to wait a little - I have a baby girl to prepare for.

Wonderful Appointment

Our appoinment was wonderful. We saw a beautiful brain, strong heart, and wonderful spine. The classical music and plasma screen made for a memorable experience. We have pictures, I can't wait to scan them in to display. While the tech is not certain, she thinks it is a girl. Hopefully we will know more in 4 weeks. For the time being, we are thinking it is a girl, but we are not buying anything pink yet.

We did make the decision that the name should be kept secret until after the birth. That is going to be rough, esp since we are pretty close to having a name :-)

Everytime we go to the doctor, this becomes more real. This is compounded when we see a 9oz baby inside me and can call her by her potential name. That makes her more human. She was so cute moving her arms around, she was not happy with our poking and proding.

Today I am so very happy!!!!

T minus 2 hours

Until we see our baby.

Halfway to Baby

This weekend marks the halfway point of my pregnancy. I am so excited. I can't believe it is only 20 weeks until my due date. What I can't believe even more is that 18 weeks ago I got pregnant. In some ways it seems so long ago, and others it seems like yesterday. Overall, I have become very used to pregnancy, even to the belly rubs. However, at times I even find myself shocked when I think of the outcome - LOL.

I am so very happy right now. Anxious, yes, especially with the level 2 sonogram so close. However, I know everything is going to work out. I blogged before about how life changes in a heartbeat. This is proof. It is so nice to have my life completely change due to life - instead of death.

There is so much to do in the second half of pregnancy - so much to prepare for. Luckily, I have a man who adores me and this baby. I know he will help out in any way possible. He already treats me like a princess. I cannot complain at all about him. Just an example of what he does - every night, after I move into the bedroom to watch stupid tv and to drift off - he brings me OJ, my prenatal, and my thyroid medicine. He takes the best care of me.

Overall, even with the bad morning sickness that I had, I cannot complain about this pregnancy. I truly enjoy being pregnant. I hope the second half is as wonderful as the first.

So very tired

I hit that point in my pregnancy where sleeping 9 hours does not completely refresh me. I am physically asleep - but I believe I am not getting quality sleep that I need. Not sure what to do about that. Here I sit at work and about to pass out. I have a co-worker who is 21 and thinks I am so old. She is single and recently moved into her first apartment. Our lives are on very different spectrums - yet I consider her a work friend. She wrote to me this morning saying she is so tired - I start thinking that I can relate until she says that she went to bed at 6:30 this morning and woke up at 8. I didn't even do that when I was her age. Of course at her age I was already old and married LOL.

Today is Friday - but not the end of my work week. I have orientation for my only class tomorrow from 10-1. After I get the privilege of coming in for work. Auditors will be onsite asking their questions and such. Rarely do I work overtime, honestly - rarely do I work 40 hours. So I am not complaining. I am simply so tired this week and needed a couple of days to recoup.

Now I am off to have lunch with a hot date. I love working close enough to meet my Sweetie for lunch. It makes the day so much better.

Let's have some fun

OK so HOPEFULLY we will find out the sex on Monday - not soon enough.

In the meantime - here is some fun.

It's a boy if:
# You are carrying the extra weight out front
# Your belly looks like a basketball
# You are craving salty or sour foods
# You are craving protein -- meats and cheese
# Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy
# Your hands are very dry
# Pregnancy has you looking better than ever
# Your urine is a bright yellow in color
# You are having headaches
# You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived the number is even

It's a girl if:
# You had morning sickness early in pregnancy
# You are carrying high
# You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread
# Your breasts have really blossomed!

So according to this the score is 4 for a girl and 10 for a boy. I wonder if there is anything to this. I dreamt about a boy. My SIL put one of my earrings on a chain and hung it over my belly. According to her - it is a boy.

I really don't care either way. As the time of knowing approaches, I think more about it. I wonder if I would be harder on a girl. Of course my Sweetie worries that he will be a pushover for a little girl. I asked him if he will be prepared if we find out it is a girl. His responded with:

i will be, as best as a man living in a world dominated by cuteness can be prepared for the onslaught of obscene amounts of MORE cuteness, and it will only be compounded by the fact that your cuteness will multiply if it is a girl. Missy-izms will be all i ever hear after June. so yes... i will be prepared however - YOU must be prepared for having a spoiled girl. Anything she wants will be had if she comes to me for it.

Of course we know nothing until Monday - and even then we might not find out anything. So for sure we will find out when I have the baby - LOL.

5 more sleeps

I can't stand it. 5 more sleeps until I get to see my baby. The last sonogram was at 12 weeks. The change from 8 to 12 weeks was simply amazing. I can't imagine from 12 to 20. I want to know more about this little person inside me.

I am half way through my fourth month. I am running out of time of gradually increasing workouts before my third trimester. So last night, after eating a Wendy's hamburger (single with cheese) and watching The Biggest Loser, my Sweetie and I headed out for a short walk. Although I could have done more I am listening to everything that I read regarding starting slowly. The walk was wonderful. I love walking with my Sweetie. Which is good since he helped me get through the last part of my last half marathon as the break stations began packing up for the day.

Today was crazy at work. Nothing like year end and a quickly approaching audit to make everyone want something - what is this number, analyze that number, one more entry, update that rec. I don't mind. But sometimes I want to say "Can't you tell that I am working on something else that is tedious. I will come to you when I have a moment". It is hard to be the Absolute Dictator.

Short version of that story is that my boss named me absolute dictator only after a month or so of my arrival.

I still am very happy where I am. I love the hours, the pay, benefits, and the ability to chat with friends and family during my workday. If you are an accountant you know, it can get pretty quiet during the busy times.

With as tired as I am right now, waiting to finish this post before I head home, not eating lunch until almost too late - stomach empty is a very bad thing, and a headache, I still enjoy my work. I feel that I am challenged on a daily basis. I was working with the Assistant Controller today and started day dreaming about being in his position. I would love to be an ass controller - hahaha. Seriously I am happy where I am. I think after I return from maternity leave I will focus on trying to climb the ladder in front of me. Of course, with all the changes in my life recently, I will be very picky about any change in ventures.

I was thinking last night about the pregnancy. Oct 5th, when we found out about our future, seems so long ago, years even. I am coming up on my halfway point in the pregnancy. I can't believe it. It makes me smile to think about the day we found out. The shocked expressions on our faces when we found out. The walk to our cars, because we met at the doctor, and stopping and hugging, crying, and kissing, and my Sweetie lifting me off the ground. The meal at WhataBurger - although I barely remember being there - LOL. The day ended with our best friends and their reactions were so wonderful. Such a perfect memory.

Now with a big belly - and no longer able to look down and see my feet - it still seems so unreal. I can't believe it is happening. I can't wait. Thank goodness work is busy. Tomorrow I get to post only 4 sleeps until baby.

Another Semester

Today marks my last semester. In as many ways as I am happy about this day, I also have sadness. Over 5 years ago I started at my wonderful school. I love my school. It is small, beautiful, and focuses on values that others do not. I do not judge anyone for not attending my school - this was simply the best option for me to finish not only my undergrad degree, but my Masters as well. Very soon I will no longer have the pride of calling myself student. I did not realize how much I love this until this last semester approached. For the last 5 years I have been working while attending school. This impresses people, as well as myself.

This break was wonderful. 6 weeks off is very nice - and rare with how a trimester structured program works. While I have had the holidays to distract me, overall I have felt a need to do something. I like the structure school gives me - even when I am stressed and procrastinating.

I know that right after graduation I will not be thinking about the lack of school in my life - my focus will be on our baby. However, I am already looking at the next venture for myself regarding learning. My Best Friend still believes that I will go back for my PhD. We shall see. Not yet. I am thinking more along the lines of learning Spanish.

My favorite photo of me and my Sweetie was taken after my graduation for my BBA. I hope that I will have the same kind of picture after my MBA graduation. Of course, I will be huge by then. I only hope that I can attend the ceremony :-)

I go to campus on Saturday - this is an internet class so there is no set class times on campus after this orientation. This will be my first time to walk around my campus since I started showing. That is going to be very strange for me. I know of several women that had babies while attending SEU. However, to me, it seems to make me stand out as a non-traditional student even more - even though I am younger than the average age for the MBA program.

Time to stop my ramblings and head home. I am very tired from the days work, perhaps a bubble bath is in order.

Now it all makes sense

Now I know why all my friends seem to be in their 30's.

You Are 31 Years Old

31 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Being a Kid

My mother's company had their holiday party at Dave & Busters yesterday. When she heard I was going home early she invited me and my Sweetie to attend for a free lunch. I won't say no to a free lunch. We enjoyed the free food and company - my mom works with some great people.

It is official. I am pregnant. Strangers that are not certain about my "condition" are speaking of my pregnancy, asking when I am due and such. That is a big step. This happened on Saturday as well. Hard for me to imagine that I am obviously pregnant.

After lunch we went and played some games. I always love playing games with my Sweetie. As we were leaving we say a stuffy crane machine. The only exception is the size of the items inside. They are HUGE. My mom wanted my Sweetie to win something for me. I picked out a large blue smiley face. It was so amazing, he actually got it for me - AND on the first try. This pillow/stuffey is so big that I can hide my belly behind it. He makes me so happy.

After lunch Mom came over and hung out while I rested on the couch. It was very nice, we chatted and watched TV. After she left it was almost time for dinner. I was starting to go to sleep when my Sweetie came out to take my dinner order. I barely agreed to Macaroni and Cheese when I fell completely asleep. I slept while he cooked dinner and awoke to a hot meal in front of me. He takes the best care of me in the entire world. Yesterday was his day off. He could play video games all day. What did he do? Laundry - lots and lots of laundry. He even put it away.

I am married to an amazing man.

It is MLK Day - and I am at work

Today is a holiday. This was obvious with the traffic this morning. I, however, do not get this day off. I could use one of my 4 floating holidays, but I did not want to waste a single day of my vacation time - want to save up for baby.

I do not feel well though. I think I have a head cold. Not fair when I can only take few things. I think I will have to head home early today - come on bed.

The neat thing is that my semester, my last semester, starts tomorrow. I am excited about this semester. This is an on-line course. However, the software needed does not work on a Mac - figures. So I will use this excuse to visit my beautiful campus on a regular basis.

Still not sure on the CPA testing. Everything will happen, I know it. Nothing to stress over. Still need a list for baby - will try to work on that today, something preliminary to ease my mind. Good news is that we received the doctor's estimate of his charges this week. Not too bad. Hope it doesn't go up too much. Even better news is that we have the money to pay it off now - we have the option of paying over 5 weeks. That means pending anything abnormal, we will only have the hospital to pay after baby arrives. That is a big relief.

Weekend Warrior

This weekend was busy. Friday night my mom, Sweetie, my Niece, and I all went to dinner and shopping. We had a b-day party the next day and needed presents. My niece is so wonderful. She is 8 and I love it when she comes to visit. I hope we get her a couple more weekends before the baby comes - just time to enjoy her. We ate at WhataBurger - it was her decision. It is amazing to watch an 8 year old eat adult sized hamburgers lol.

Saturday was very interesting. Suprisingly it did not scare me into a stupor. We went to an indoor kids play place. It was packed. DarkDiva's oldest turned 3 and this was her day to "pay". While she loves me, she adores my Sweetie. She is his little friend. We played for almost 5 hours. That makes for a long day.

One neat thing about the day is that I ran into someone from high school. We were in Brownies together. While we were not friend's in high school - we knew of each other and held mutual friends. Her little girl is so adorable. It was so nice to see her. She looks so happy and reminded me of the good people in high school.


Saturday night was laid back due to the busy day. I did not mind. Sunday was the grocery store after a wonderful breakfast at iHop. My niece was slightly bored with the outing - a sign of her growing up. The remainder of Sunday was easy going - watching TV, playing games, and laundry. And, of course, my Sweetie cooking me dinner.

Happiness Is

Having a husband who can't stand being away from you that he calls about 10 minutes after leaving just to say "I love you and miss you". And then having him im and say that he wants to have lunch saying "I just miss you terribly". Keep in mind, we did not have a fight, or anything like that to prompt this sweetness. My Sweetie simply adores me. Now I have to get some work done so that I can meet him for lunch.

150 days

As you can tell from the top of the page - if you are reading this on 1/13/04 - there are only 150 days left of my pregnancy. Of course, this is not the exact number, but close enough to make me freak a little.

So on Monday, I caved and bought maternity jeans. They are great - no panel - but they are a bit big for me, I have to pull them up LOL. Talk about a boost, to wear the size I was before and have them big, I know it is because they are maternity, can't a girl have her moment.

Back to the 150 day thing. 8/16/04 was 150 days ago - that seems like day before yesterday. There is so much to do, and so little time. I think I will start making some lists. Also need to recruit for painting and such.

OK fine so I actually got on here to post some GREAT NEWS!!!! While I am not old, my doctor did want me to go ahead and get the AFP testing. I gave my blood on Jan 3rd at our last appointment, I always end up giving blood while I am there.

THE GOOD NEWS??? All three tests came back NEGATIVE. I know it doesn't rule out everything, but what a relief. It wasn't until after the call that I realized that I wasn't nervous or scared about the outcome. However, I will NEVER turn away good news.

Now we wait on the Cystic Fibrosis test. I am not worried about this one. However, my sweetie and I have a good friend with the disease and my Sweetie also does pro-bono work for The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, so we wanted to make sure. Mind you the outcome will not result in termination, only allowing us time to cope with anything that our future holds.

How can it be 11 days until our level 2 sonogram. I so desperately need to see the little one. Not so much about finding out the sex, but making sure about its health.

Last Friday Amelia came to visit. She is very petite. At 2.5 months she is doing wonderfully. Her neck is strong and holding up her head. She isn't as small as I was afraid, but still a little intimidating.

Monday night our long-time friend, with my Sweetie since 7th grade and me for the last 12.5 years, and wife came to visit. They brought along their 2.5 year old and 5.5 month old. I must say 3 months makes a huge difference. I was not intimidated by this precious child. She is wonderful. Now the 2.5 year old, that is my speed. She was so cute. She went into the dining room, after telling bob hello a million times, and pulled out a chair. She sat down and so cutely said "I want dinner". I asked if she wanted to come and play in the living room and she said "no, I want dinner". We settled it with cheerios and OJ. She is so cute with saying "please" and "thank you". I gave her a color changing plastic spoon so I was very cool. It is blue and turns purple with cold. So every time she pulled out her spoon she would say "purple". I have only seen her 3 times (she is from his wife's first marriage). However, you wouldn't know it - both girls acted like they completely knew us. I think a trip to Dallas is in order for more quality time. My Sweetie even held the younger girl more than I did.

I think we are ready :-)

High School Reunion and Other Thoughts

My high school reunion in this summer. I assume, based off of other reunions, that it will be around June. Perfect timing, huh? I decided if I am nice and cutely round that I will attend. There are a few people that I would like to see and shove my pregnancy in their faces - sorry hormones and all :-) If I recently had the baby, there is no way that I am going. Because of this fact, I dream a lot about high school. The dreams are not me when I was in high school - but rather me going back. Several dreams have me having to go back to finish my MBA. Where I must take high school courses in order to graduate. In one I even planned on attending the prom and thought - wow I will be so pregnant then and reminded myself that I am not a normal graduating senior. This makes sense. I am graduating with my MBA 10 years after high school. I am very proud of this fact. I have issues with some that I might run into at the reunion and am trying to prepare myself. My goal was to look great - but now that I can't lose any weight, I have to focus on cuteness.

Pregnancy is interesting - it brings out many feelings and about things that you don't expect. I am overly emotional about everything. Family and friends are dear to me. Those who try and cause problems with my family or friends get me irate. It is hard to explain. And here I am going off topic.

It has been almost 10 years since graduation. What has changed? Well I am sitting at work, for one thing. I also am very happily married, own a home, almost have an MBA complete, and am working on bringing a new life into this world. I am also a very different person with very different friends. My self esteem is higher, in spite of my weight being higher as well. I am a completely different person than I was then. My only real constant is my Sweetie. For this reason I do not think that I will be that upset if I miss the reunion.

My Secret

Baby made its presence today with not one, but three movements over about a 4 hour period. I felt sensations before that mothers tell me were the baby. However, this is the first time that I felt something that I knew was the baby. It is amazing. I am just over 18 weeks. According to the books, I am right on schedule. This makes it very real. It also make me want the 24th to be here already.

Weekend Insight

As music heals, movies remind us. The cinema shows us an alternative to our ordinary life, a chance remind us of how things could be. I am a very passionate person, what I listen to and watch affect me deeply. I relate these moments to my life and use the characters' lives to reflect on my own. The results, for me at least, are my life is better than I thought it was going into the movie.

Another thing that fascinates me on a daily basis, and probably why my first major was psychology, is how every person's life is different. Even when living under the same roof, each life is individual. My thoughts, emotions, and experiences are my own. No one can take them from me. At the same time, others may try to alter your universe, to penetrate the umbrella of happiness. I believe it is up to you, the attacked, to choose if the umbrella begins to leak and cause unhappiness, or if you dance in the new exposure embracing the changes and allowing a learning and growing experience from the situation. After life, what is life without learning and growth?

I am not certain of my stance on reincarnation. However, either way, I think we need to try to get the most we can out of life. I am not referring to items, money, or status. I mean learning with life experiences, in learning how to be a stronger and more independent person. I believe life is a constant evolution of oneself. At least that is my goal. No matter what is handed to me, and I have been handed some nasty shit, I try to grow, expand, and learn more about myself during these trying times.

I am no saint, there are days that I dwell too long on the badness. I have to pick up my frame of mind and turn it to the good aspects of life. Sometimes this is hard. Depression causes the mind-set to feel cemented in at times. However, it is my goal. My Sweetie says I am strong and compassionate. How I can deal with things and how, I try at least, to keep a positive outlook, impresses him. Just as an example, I can take the most horrible of days and create wonderful memories to sit along side. I do not replace the bad in the day - I simply create good around it in order to learn from, grow from, and in the end became a happier and more well-adjusted person.

I think the most important thing about life is to learn from, never forget completely, hold no regrets, and move on. Once a minute passes, we cannot change it. Once an action completes we can no longer take it back. Regret is a waste. I have always believed this. I try to live without regret, to live embracing the moment focusing on the future. While what happens in the past defines us, the present is the only moment we have to live.

I believe in fate, signs, and meant-to-be's. I think that events happen - good or bad - for a reason. And after something bad happens the best thing in to do is to take stock in your current situation. The present must outweigh the past.

Now that I rambled long enough. I will end with this. I am so very happy right now. I embrace the future as I see how wonderful the present treats me. I focus on continual growth and development. I will not allow the past to drive me or define me.

Random

I must apologize about this post. I have no goal for writing today. I am just going to write as things come to me.

Today is a beautiful day. The sun is out and the grass is green from all the recent rain. I have to work tomorrow. Not looking forward to it, but I will be a trooper and come in with my smiling face.

I get to meet Amelia tonight. I cannot wait. She is 2.5 months old. I know seeing her is going to freak me out. I have been around this age before, but it has been quite some time. I like it when they can interact with you, like at one or three.

I am feeling especially pregnant today. I am wearing a shirt that my Sweetie LOVES. It is pink, purple, white and black horizontal stripes. It makes me look so very pregnant. Moreover, he adores when I look pregnant. He even requests me to wear this shirt. He loves that I am pregnant. He adores taking care of me. Last night I worked late went home with an empty belly and, sure enough, when food hit my belly I started throwing up. He instantly stocked my purse with extra snacks. This episode was fairly violent, causing me to be excessively tired after. He was good enough to clean the house while I went to sleep.

I am in a good mood today. I kept the sadness away by focusing on happy thoughts.

Regardless of having to work tomorrow, it is still Friday and that means FUN!

I think I will make my Sweetie take me out on a bit of a date on Saturday.

Work

I am at work still. Yes, it is late, but I do not mind. Today is one of those days that it really hit me that I like what I do. Even with pregnancy brain - which really set in this week - guess it is because I started my 5th month on Monday. The funny thing is that I am wearing my jeans. Yes, the ones I thought were past their prime. Other than having to wear them slightly lower, they fit. I am not obsessed about weight gain during pregnancy, but I do not want to go crazy either - I have enough weight on me already. I think it is because I am carrying high. Although, after 4 months I am still below my pre-pregnancy weight by 5 pounds. My complete aversion to sweets is gone. However, I do not have the sweet tooth that I did before - good thing. One other thing that I noticed is that my tongue allergy to citrus is worsened by a great deal. I will have to be extra careful when choosing foods. I am aching to start walking again. Unfortunately work and the weather keep interfering.

OK I must brag about my Sweetie again - I know as everyone sighs. But he has been the best. He takes such good care of me. I know of many women who were not pampered during pregnancy. I cannot claim that even in a joking fashion. Yesterday I mentioned that I was hungry for Sloppy Joes. So on the way home we stopped and picked up the stuff and he went home to cook everything for me. This is the way it has been since we conceived - before we knew for sure. I do not lift a finger. I must say, if you can live this lifestyle - you should try it. It is all with the goal of keeping me healthy and stress free. So far that is working. Overall, my stress is so much below normal.

CPA is worrying me. My pregnancy brain is changing my ability to comprehend items. I knew that memory loss was normal - but to all of the sudden feel like you are in a bizarro version of Flowers for Algernon. Something entered my body and changed my brain to that of a simpleton. I worry that suddenly while testing that I will forget the simple balance sheet formula taught in accounting 101. This does not mean that I am giving up on the idea. Not by a long shot. I know I can do it, I might just require a little more studying than before baby.

2005 and Contemplation

2005 is a big year. I know as a child 2005 sounded like light years away. However, as time often does, 2005 arrived quickly. This year marks a significant b-day with my Sweetie turning 30, an MBA graduation for me, first baby for us, and hopefully some CPA accomplished.

Every year is its own creature. You know what I mean. While some things are constant, every year feels slightly different from the last, whether it is based on worldly events or situations close to home. This year will be no exception.

As my belly swells, I am reminded of the commitment and love between my Sweetie and I. What truly amazes me is the ability for a married couple to evolve. I know of several situations where the evolution turned the relationship sour. However, I am a witness to the opposite. Our marriage is very different today from the beginning, or even a year ago. This evolution is not what I would have expected. At least my analytical brain would never put this cause and effect together. We are stronger, more passionate, and more respectful than ever. I could token it to falling in love. Although when you fall in love, typically, you do not know the person very well and are in the new phase of the relationship. While feelings are deep for this person, complete security and unconditional love take time. No, this is not like falling in love. Our situation is more like walking along a path in a park. You believe it to be the most beautiful area, in spite of some of the surroundings. You walk it daily enjoying the beauty. One day you find yourself falling into a hole, a hole that somehow you missed. While falling, you feel hurt and pain. The reward is when you land. The beautiful park of before compares nothing to the enchanted-like forest you stand in now. The miracle is when you discover that you stand within the park from before - only transformed into something more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

If you have never experienced such a transformation, this may not make any sense. If your transformation was only to the worse, simply imagine the exact opposite happening. My life, in so many ways, is so different from 4 months ago. It is for the better. I still feel that I am in a transformation, a dream state of sorts. I feel that at any minute I will awake to find that the beautiful forest does not exist. I cling to this state, not knowing what the future holds, not knowing how 2005 will feel.

Baby and Anniversary

Yesterday marked the next appointment with our OBGYN as well as our 7th wedding anniversary. We started the day at the doctor. While we did not receive a sonogram this time, we did get to hear the heartbeat. It is wonderful. Just another visit to make this event more real.

We then headed to the Georgetown courthouse to purchase my Sweetie's vehicle registration. I didn't mind - it meant more time with him on our special day. After, we went to WhataBurger, as we do every year. You see after our wedding we were hungry so we went to WhataBurger in our wedding wear for dinner. The limo did not fit in the drive-through so we walked in. Every year we go for lunch or dinner in honor of this special day. We finally made it in to work at about 1:30. That makes for a nice and short day.

We celebrated after work with dinner at our favorite Chinese place of all time, Nanking. The evening was rather relaxed since our vacation served as a week long celebration. We did enjoy the remaining portion of my non-alcoholic cranberry apple champagne and Godiva chocolates, which is another tradition of ours.

Gifts? You want to know about gifts? Of course you do.

My Sweetie tries to stick with the traditional gifts, or rather the material of the traditional gifts. For example our first anniversary he made me a dozen paper daisies and a book filled with original poems. 1st anniversary is Paper. Our 5th he carved his love into wood. 5 is wood. Seven is cooper and wool. I received a medium sized square copper bowl filled with pebbles. Inside the pebbles held a white vase. In the white vase are flowers made from wool. On top of the rocks are many pieces of folded up paper naming the reasons why he loves me. My Sweetie is so very romantic.

I gave my Sweetie a large copper colored metal star that holds a candle. When lit the light comes out through many small holes. Inside the star I put an original poem about the importance of stars in our relationship right now. I also gave him a very neat picture frame for his desk at work. This is to symbolize our future. Along with these items, I took a copper pen and wrote renewal vows. As you can tell, we both are very romantic.

I think back 7 years ago, I was 21 and he was 22. We thought we knew everything. We thought we were adults. We were not. Yes, we paid our bills and lived on our own, but when I look back I see ignorance. Every year with this man is better and better. Even the hard years have something better about them. Whether it is learning from mistakes or overcoming obstacles in a way that brings us closer together, every year we become closer friends, more intimate as lovers, and a stronger couple.

The events of this past year prove to me that we can overcome anything. Together we are unstoppable. I love being married to my Sweetie. I cherish everyday that I have with him. I am honored to be the woman that stands by his side.

I love you Terry.

Day Four of vacation and New Years

Day Four was our last real day of "our" vacation. We slept in, ate breakfast, slept more and headed to USA Baby. I know that it is still a large chain, but it is nicer items with MUCH better customer service. The location is close to SKIDS - although it seems to take forever to get there now. It was a wonderful way to end our vacation.

Friday was relaxed as well. My Sweetie, mom, and I went to ICOM to help clean up. It appears the end is very near. This was very emotional. I started there over 7 years ago. It is where I worked when my father passed away, where I brought my mom to reenter the workforce, and where I determined that I wanted to go back to school for accounting. I learned a lot of lessons there. This was the first, of many, steps of independence for me. During the two years I worked there I got married, bought a house, and went back to school. Not too shabby considering I started at 20 and left at 22.

Friday night - New Years Eve. It was exactly what I needed. I only wanted to be with my Sweetie, not meaning wanting to be alone, but wanting to be near him. We had a party invitation, but I did not want to get out in the traffic and hustle and bustle. Instead we had my brother, SIL, and mother over for snacks and games. It was relaxing and enjoyable.

Saturday - New Years. It was nice and laid back. My Sweetie, mother, and I went to Luby's for lunch - tradition. Then we were spontaneous and went to see The Incredibles. I liked it a lot.

Sunday was the normal routine of shopping and chores. However, we did have dinner with Best Friend, her husband, and her oldest friend. This past week is when I have really started feeling better. No getting sick for over a week and a half. It is so amazing. But that really is for another post.

Day Two-Three Vacation

First, I must post that we do not have a crib. We went to pick it up on Tuesday and there was a huge confusion with very crappy customer service. They wanted to give us the floor model in pieces without any boxes or wrapping of any kind. These were items promised. After discovering that Babies-R-Us did not have anything to protect our crib from itself, we opted for our money returned.

Otherwise, Tuesday was a wonderful day. We slept in, drove downtown, visited my Sweetie’s office, and had lunch at Chipotle – mmmmmm bols. After, we walked to the Austin Museum of Art and the ArtHouse (Contemporary Gallery).

The Austin Museum of Art has a wonderful display of Andy Goldsworthy. His work is simply amazing. My Sweetie and I love galleries and museums so we ate up this display. While walking back to the car, we stopped in at the ArtHouse. The current exhibit is Lounge and consists of several chair swings from the ceiling. They were very comfortable. It was a wonderful outing. The night was not ruined by Babies-R-Us. We went to a nice dinner and finished the evening with me beating my Sweetie with another game of Monopoly.

Yesterday was yet another lazy day. We slept late, played with legos, ate lunch, and headed to a Baby furniture store that we found on-line. After a long drive, we discovered that the store is no longer in business. However, we did find ourselves near Terra Toys. This is an awesome toy store. Toys define my sweetie and me ad much as museums and galleries. We had so much fun. Toy stores are so different now – at least for us – we look at items we want for our baby and which items are not appropriate. All in all – these outings make us simply long for our new little guest. There was a turn of events last night. We played Monopoly again. This time I lost. I must get back my winning streak – lol.

This week is so wonderful. I love spending time with my Sweetie. He is wonderful and my perfect match.

Day One of Vacation Complete

This week is our vacation. Since we are saving for a baby - we vacation from home. Yesterday was deemed lazy. We succeeded in our goals. We slept late and enjoyed waking after others found themselves within the working day. My Sweetie made me cinnamon drop biscuits for breakfast - sooooo yummy. After several hours of magazine reading and surfing the Internet (once again I love wireless) we decided to go shopping. OK, so actually it was my need for pants that got us out of the house. My pregnant belly is too large for my pants. I refuse to spend the crazy prices for maternity pants so I bought jeans two sizes larger. I must say nothing makes you feel thin than jeans almost falling off. For now I will enjoy the feeling :-) My Sweetie was so wonderful and stated that he did not care about the price of the pants; he simply wanted me happy and comfortable.

The next stop was the best. We went to look at the crib we want again. My Sweetie was so worried that they would no longer have the one we fell in love with. On the way, I had this strong feeling that he was correct – that they no longer make our model – but I knew we could get it – I even had the feeling that we would get the crib at a reduced price due to purchasing the floor model. Also, keep in mind that my only hesitation on this crib was the fact that it was 100 over what I wanted to pay. Now I have had ESP before. I am happy to say that this time was not for something horrible, like normal. We went to the store discovered the company that makes the crib went out of business – not due to recalls or any safety reasons. To top this off due to BabysRUs policy if a damaged box enters the store, they must open and assemble it. Once assembled it must go onto the floor. If there is already this model on display, the new one sells for 30% off. Weren’t we happy to see this crib marked down? Nothing is wrong with it. But we did pay more than 100 off the original price, and making the after tax price close to the price I had in my head. So I was right, they no longer make the crib, we were able to get the crib, and we did receive the floor model at a reduced price, and I knew we would spent about 200 on a crib. Now this does not include the mattress, but we are very happy. We pick it up today. We still have a lot to move out of the room, so I cannot put it together tonight, although I would love to ☺

Dinner was at home – Sweetie made me a wonderful dinner. We ate and enjoyed Simpson’s Monopoly – I won!!!! It was a wonderful lazy day.

Now on to today – Arts and Downtown day.

A Very Merry Christmas

We had a Very Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eve was wonderful. My Sweetie and I hosted our normal gathering. The big thing about my Christmas Eve's is the tradition involved. Not so much tradition, but that each person brings something for the evening. We began the evening with origami snowmen (brought by SIL). This was great fun. The next event was from my mother with Christmas Crackers. We enjoyed the riddles, party hats, and toys. After such clean fun, it was time to get our hands dirty. I brought the event of decorating freshly bakes sugar cookies. This was wonderful. We all made several cookies. They were too beautiful to eat. My MIL offered the same tradition as last year, a taffy pull. This is always fun, esp. since we are learning a little more each year on how to make it easier. This time she added lemon extract for a very nice flavor. After finishing the taffy, we ate more of the finger foods and began on the gifts. Everyone made out with wonderful gifts.

Christmas Morning was extra special. Since this is my Sweetie and my last Christmas morning alone, we made it special. We awoke as normal and began our Christmas tradition of beginning the morning with homemade banana nut bread - provided by my mom and opening presents. Due to my New Closet, our Christmas was slightly smaller than anticipated. This means the gifts were more thought out and personal. I received gifts that prove that my Sweetie remains madly in love with me. I even had a couple of tricks up my sleeve and brought some tears to my Sweetie's eyes with how well I know him. After a slow morning with enjoying gifts and gathering all needed items, I cannot even imagine what next year will be like, we headed to my mom's. Due to my brother working on Christmas, we did not eat until close to six. The food was wonderful and we even played a game of Ninja Burger. My SIL (brother's wife) held a chain and pendant (really an earring) over my belly - according to this I am having a boy - we shall see.

Today was another wonderful day. After the normal grocery shopping, my mother, Sweetie, and I headed over to MotoDiva's for a Boxing Day dinner. Everyone was there and we enjoyed a relaxed day of food and conversation. Before we knew it, the time was past 10:30 and time to head home.

This next week is very special for my Sweetie and me. We both have the next week off and will treat it like a vacation. This is a weeklong celebration of our 7-year anniversary. I am not sure how much I will be able to post during this time, but I will try.

This Christmas was exactly what I wanted. I am so very happy with the memories acquired during this time. Next year will be even better.

Hello Kitty Star Fairy

I'm Hello Kitty Star Fairy! made by:Jen

Last Workday of the Year

Yes, poor little me, is watching the clock for my last 22 minutes of work for 2004. I have tomorrow and all of next week off. This is a great feeling because my Sweetie also has this time off (less tomorrow that is). We are going to treat it as a week long anniversary celebration. I can't wait.

Last night's Yule dinner was so wonderful. 14 of my favorite people around a large table makes for a cozy evening. Luckily Dark Diva used a very large table that was her mother's so there was enough room for all. After a dinner of goose, mashed potatoes, and cranberries, we enjoyed a walk down to the Lago Vista lake. The sky was wonderful for us. Without needing a flashlight we walked by moonlight. The water and the scene of everyone at this location was very surreal. It reminded me of something out of a movie or a video game. The older of DarkDiva's girls loved this scene. Playing by moonlight was second nature to her (she will be 3 next month). Once again I felt overwhelmed with the comfort that I feel around these people from all walks of life.

During the night we also made plans for Boxing Day (December 26th). Motodiva wants to make a large Christmas dinner. Since everyone has plans on Christmas day, she opted for the day after. This meal should have even more lovely people than the Yule dinner. I think it will be a perfect way to end the holiday weekend. The newest member of our group will also attend this dinner with her family. I can't wait to meet her daughter - she is just over 1, the same age as DarkDiva's youngest.

This Christmas season has been wonderful so far. I know it will only get better. I am feeling a lot of peace and comfort lately. This makes me smile.

I am off to head home, take a nap, and begin cleaning for Christmas eve. All is good.

Yule, Anniversary, and Contemplation

Today is the first day of winter. This is also a very special day - 31 years ago today my parents went to the courthouse and entered into the wonderful world of marriage. Although my father only lived to celebrate 24 anniversaries with my mother, she considers today her anniversary, and a special day, as much as ever.

My parents were very much in love and endured their fair share of hard times - and I think they also took on enough hard times for others as well. However, my growing up was always filled with happiness, even when times were hard. I am thankful for the hard times, they taught me to adapt when needed (like when my Sweetie was out of his industry for a couple of years and money was very tight) and to appreciate when things are going well.

My mother is the strongest woman I know. After losing my father, she was left with little insurance, out of date job skills, and a house to maintain. The catch was that she bought the house so long ago that the mortgage was cheaper than moving to a smaller place. My father has been gone for a little over 7 years. During this time, she paid off her house, found a great job where she was reintroduced to the working world (she worked with my father for 15 years in the family business). She became computer literate and even when she found herself unemployed due to a lay off, she continued to help the company that could no longer afford her. She is now in a position that she loves and that I hope will remain challenging. She handles tragedy and situations the way I do, one day at a time. We know we can overcome anything. As I am sure you can tell, we are extremely close.

I know she misses him terribly today. I cannot blame her. I try to cherish everyday with my Sweetie knowing that something can happen at any moment and take all this wonderfulness away. We must appreciate those we have, while we still have them.

I think my parents’ anniversary helped to choose my wedding date (and the college calendar). I always associated their anniversary with Christmas. My Sweetie and I will celebrate 7 years on January 3rd. Much like my parents, we endured our fair share, and then some, of hard times. However, I am happy to say that we kept our faith and focused on our love and finish our 7th year stronger than ever before.

Tonight to celebrate Yule, and to make sure that my mom gets out of the house, we are going to DarkDiva's house for Yule dinner. This should be wonderful. The whole clan should be there, except for MotoDiva's husband who is in Afghanistan. I cannot wait. I simply adore these women. They are strong, intelligent, and unique. They are unlike any past friends, mostly with the intelligent and strength issues. We are not like a click in high school. We do not dress alike or speak alike. If you saw us apart, you might never guess we are good friends. Our ages range from 28-37 (shhhh she claims she is 35 and 30 months). While we are all married, these relationships are as different as we are.

Tonight we will dine and enjoy each other’s company. During the long drive to DarkDiva’s house, I will ask my mom to tell me the story of how my father proposed and about their wedding day.

Whether you are celebrating Yule, winter, an Anniversary, or simply a Tuesday I hope your evening is wonderful and magical.

Kidnapping, jeans, lights, and Whataburger

First I must say that I am wearing my favorite jeans - buttoned and all - Don't even ask, I have no clue.

Second, on to the weekend.

This weekend was so eventful.

Friday
I took Friday off from work to complete Christmas shopping - almost done - and to relax. The real reason is that I lose vacation time if I do not use it - I know poor me. Friday was so productive. I had a great time shopping. I spent some quality time with myself. It was a beautiful day that did not require a jacket.

Friday night
Friday night my Sweetie and I went with MIL, SIL, niece, Grandfather-in-law, SIL's boyfriend, and my mother to see the Trail of Lights. It was wonderful and not too chilly. My niece (8) and I spent most of the time together enjoying the lights and atmosphere. We had such a good time my Sweetie and I took her home with us to spend the night. All in all, a wonderful family outing.

Saturday
Saturday we took my niece shopping. She was so wonderful. She really is a great kid. The best part was as we were leaving she saw the Salvation Army bell ringer and asked to give some money. That made my day.

Saturday night
Date Night!!! This week was the complete opposite from the week before. We dressed up more for Ballet Austin's Nutcracker. While our clothing was fancier the dinner was less fancy than the week before. We went to Whataburger for a nice fast dinner. Whataburger holds a lot of sentiment for us so in no way do we consider it as unworthy. Afterwards we headed to Bass Concert Hall. The Mice greeted us at the door offering programs of the event. That was so very cute. We bought a soldier for our Christmas tree, very cute. The show was wonderful. The children seated around us were all angels. The only situation with a child was when a baby boy tried to crawl on stage during the production. It was quite funny to see the father pull him back. Afterwards we enjoyed a romantic dessert at the Cheesecake Factory. The evening was a wonderful one filled with exactly what we needed - us.

Sunday
After an early start with the grocery store, I met DarkDiva, MotoDiva, Best Friend, and a new member of our group for a late lunch. This was a wonderful meal that turned into a day outing. My Sweetie dropped me off so I was bound to go with my friends wherever they led me. After lunch we went to the Arabic Christmas Bizarre to watch some belly dancing. The woman was very impressive and two of my friends are going to take classes to learn the art of belly dancing. After the belly dancing we took a small break to enjoy some coffee and conversation. At this point the newest member had to leave our adventure. Next stop Toy Joy
Which is a very neat toy store filled from floor to ceiling and open until midnight. After almost two hours in this store, and not seeing everything, we headed to the Armadillo Christmas Bizarre. This is a very Austin tradition with artists and live music. We had a blast. We finished the evening at Magnolia Cafe. By the time I got home I was exhausted and happy.

This week should be very laid back. I believe most are out of the office, which is good for me. I am hoping to work half days today through Wednesday with Thursday through January 3rd off. Hope it works out for me :-)

In case anyone is keeping score

Today we hit a milestone. I officially cannot button my jeans. Now keep in mind that I wore these jeans on Monday - they were a little tight but I could button them. Since I have lost weight so far, I know it is all baby. So today I have my pants only zipped like I had to do when I had my belly button pierced. The jeans fit everywhere else except my belly. This is so funny.

Things about me

Stolen from Sister in law...THANK YOU!!!!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Melissa
2. Missy
3. Mouse

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. edited for your protection
2. edited for your protection
3. edited for your protection

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Emotionally strong
2. have a good time
3. When I set my mind to something - I achieve it

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Sometimes get too stressed
2. Procrastinate
3. Like control

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish
2. Polish
3. Russian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Losing family
2. Losing family
3. Losing family

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My Sweetie
2. Family and friends
3. My pooh bear

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Jeans
2. Sweatshirt
3. Loafers

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists (at the moment)):
1. Sarah McLachlan
2. Nora Jones
3. Tori Amos

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Answer
2. Do what you have to do
3. Baby Mine

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Have a baby!
2. Complete school
3. Pass CPA

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Trust
2. Communication
3. Laughter

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I can overcome anything in my life with the proper support system
2. I like to be silly
3. All I care about is material things and fashion

THREE PHYSICALITY'S THE OPPOSITE SEX HAVE THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Be my Sweetie
2. Wonderful waistline
3. Great butt

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Word scrambles
2. Get to work early on a regular basis
3. Drink anything warm for the first drink in the morning

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Hanging with my Sweetie doing anything
2. Walking
3. Going to dinner with friends

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Sleeping
2. Christmas shopping
3. Reading

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Stay at home mom
2. Work for a non-profit
3. Auditor

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Complete a full marathon
2. Go back to Disney World
3. Get to a better place with several personal issues

Most Fantastic of Weekends

This weekend was action packed and wonderful.

Friday night we decorated my mom's tree. Due to my brother being sick - it was just my sweetie, my mom, and I. We ventured out for dinner since it was the three of us. I was good and enjoyed myself while watching what I ate. It is nice to know that the waiter will not look at you funny if all you order is soup. Afterwards the tree came together beautifully.

Saturday started early with shopping with my mom. We left my Sweetie to his own devices since she wanted to shop for him :-) We were very productive, energetic, and had a wonderful time. I got home in time for a nap with my Sweetie before getting ready for our date.

Saturday night was perfect. We went to dinner at East Side Cafe. If you are ever in Austin, you should really try it. The location is a home that they converted to an intimate dining atmosphere. They have their own organic garden from which the vegetables and herbs arrive. The food was fantastic, it was my Sweetie and my first time to eat there - my Sweetie heard about it and wanted to take me, thinking I would eat up the atmosphere. He was so correct. The food, however, was beyond words. I had the beef tenderloin, garlic mashed potatoes, and salad. While I could only eat half of it because of my reduced appetite, my Sweetie did not mind finishing my portions. We finished with sharing a dessert. My Sweetie is not a big dessert fan. However, this time he ate the majority of the pie and scraped all crumbs off the plate. That says a lot.

After dinner was the Concert. We saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It was awesome. They provide music with a rock edge - such as Christmas with rock, or rock opera. My favorite song of theirs is Christmas Eve, which has Carol of the Bells. This is our favorite Christmas Carol. Hearing it in person is even more intense and wonderful. The concert was more like two concerts in one. The first half was Christmas Eve and Other Stories - which in and of itself is a story told by these wonderful songs. The second half is the band playing other songs. One song that they played is coming from the album that they are currently working. It could not have been for fitting for my Sweetie and I; they played O Fortuna from Carmina Burana. This is a very special song for my Sweetie and I. Not only is it a wonderful piece of musical genius, it is also the first Symphony production that we attended. We will always remember this evening. Moreover, to hear it with the rocked out version at this concert brought out all our emotions.

Due to my lack of party animal status at this time, I was exhausted when the concert let out at 10:30. We got home around 11 and headed to bed. It was a very eventful day and I was tuckered out.

Sunday was the normal running around with lunch with friends before the grocery store. It was so good to see them again.

Now I am back at work. It is a cold day so I am seepy. I want to go home and crawl into bed. Alas, tonight my Sweetie and I are going Christmas shopping. That will be a lot of fun. I must find a second wind first.

Today is slow

After a whirlwind last few weeks, today is a blessing and a curse. Today is a slow day. Sure there is work for me to do, but I do not want to and nothing has a deadline closer than three weeks out. So here I sit. This is not bad. I am catching up on my surfing - shhhhhh. I am very tired today, but having another good day. I think I might sneak out early and take a nap before my Sweetie gets home. If nothing else, I will go and sit on my swing and enjoy my backyard.

I love time in-between semesters it is the best. This is my last time to experience this in-between semester time. Last night, I started re-reading one of my favorite series of books, The Chronicles of Narnia. The first book is The Magician's Nephew; although some incorrectly believe that the first book is the Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe - which is the second in the series.

I am so excited about Saturday. I will begin the day shopping with my mom and end it on a date with my Sweetie. I cannot ask for a better day.

Windy City, Closet Madness, Appointment Update

I am sitting in the swing my Sweetie bought me for my b-day (and put together while I was out of town). I love wireless internet. I am very happy and trying to think of everything that I need to post. The sky is a beautiful pink and blue. It looks like cotton candy. I think the colors are very appropriate considering my mood today.

Today is day two of feeling good and day three of my 2nd trimester. Monday was really bad with morning sickness for over 24 hours.

Chicago was good. I missed my Sweetie so much. I got to see snow and a cool museum though. I came home to a fully renovated closet. New paint and new shelving, with everything neatly put away. It was/is amazing.

We had another appointment on Friday. Baby is much bigger than a month ago. His/her back was to us while lying on its side. What we did see is a beautiful spine and a bit of a dance. My husband was so happy.

I am finally allowing myself to become excited since we are past the most dangerous time for miscarriages. And it is hitting me hard core. I love being pregnant. I love my belly - I started really showing the week of Thanksgiving. I believe this is my last week for my jeans. My Sweetie laughs about it. The funny thing is that my clothing fits everywhere excpet the belly. And I know it is all for baby since I have lost 7.5 pounds.

The funny thing is my Sweetie. He is so into this whole process. And he can't stop touching my belly, or my newly enlarged boobies (but I digress). He loves that I am starting to look pregnant and he loves going to the doctor's appointments with me. While in the waiting room I asked if he felt uncomfortable. He said no and that everyone knew why he was there, since few men (other than doctors) enter the office. He beams with pride and I can't blame him.

The hormones are hitting me hard as well. I started crying last night with the Nestle Tollhouse commercial about little hands. Then I got so frustrated that I cried harder when my Sweetie pointed out that I was acting pregnant. Today was the same situation. On the way to and from work I listen to the all holiday music channel (Chrismas is my favorite time of year). It was the first time for me to hear "Mary did you know" this season. This is one of my favorite and I cried and cried.

I am happy and that is all that matters. My Sweetie and I have big dates planned for the next two weeks. We are going to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and the Nutcracker. This Christmas is about us since from this point on we will no longer be two.

Wonderful Thanksgiving

While the turkey took an extra hour to smoke - it was well worth the wait. Everything turned out wonderful. To a full table, with the most guests to date, we went around the table stating what we are thankful for. I began and over a chocked up voice told my Sweetie that I was most thankful for us. My mother went next telling the table that after 9 months of being out of work, she has found a job and starts Monday. My Sweetie finished. While everyone else was talking we held hands. At his turn he said "I am thankful for the family I had, the family I currently have, and the family I will have. But most importantly, I am thankful that you (looking at me) are here to hold my hand". By the end we both were teary eyed. It was perfect. We have so much to be thankful for. After the meal we played games and had a wonderful time. I simply could not have asked for a better Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It is a time for family and friends to gather and give thanks for for everything that we have.

This year I am thankful for many things. Over the past year my Sweetie and I have experienced the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. I am thankful that our relationship is stronger than ever as we anticipate the new life growing inside me.

Summary of the past year

~I walked the Motorola Half Marathon for Team in Training
~We both left jobs that were sucking the life out of us
~I became a member of DeltaMuDelta - honor society
~I received approval to sit for the CPA Uniform Test
~We both found good jobs
~We saw Sarah McLachlan in concert
~We found ourselves again and the confirmation that we are soulmates
~We created life
~We are stronger than ever before

This past year feels like a decade. So much is different from a year ago at this time, it is so much better. It is funny, sometimes you don't even know things aren't going well untill things get better. I guess it is true, it is darkest before the dawn.

My emotions - which are on high alert right now - have me deep in thought. Life is not about fairy tales. In fact, fairy tales don't exist. And you know what? I am happy about this fact. I am not perfect and my Sweetie is not perfect. Knowing this, losing this expectation of perfection, allows for pure love. I love my Sweetie unconditionally. Not many can say this. I, however, know this is true. I know that I will love him no matter what. This is why I believe we are soulmates. No matter what happens we are drawn to eachother for support.

As I sit writing this - taking a break from my ethics paper - I watch my Sweetie prepare smoking the turkey. Since it takes an hour per pound, he stays up all night preparing for the Thanksgiving feast. He has not smoked the turkey since Thanksgiving 2000 due to my Sweetie working in the service industry and such. It is so nice having him in a job he likes. He really hasn't been happy at work since the end of 2000. What a difference being happy at work makes.

I am simply so happy right now.

To sum it up:

I will be the answer at the end of the line
I will be there for you while you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance if you cant look down

Monday on Vacation

Thanksgiving is this week. Although I have experienced the worst morning sickness during the past week, I am determined to enjoy the holiday. I am home this week to use up vacation time and to finish my classes for the semester. Today is not working out to be as productive as I planned with nausea and a headache. However, I am making sure that I do not become too stressed.

The good thing is that my paper in Ethics is a topic that I am very interested in, Sarbanes Oxley Section 404. I sent questionaires to many in my company regarding the effectiveness and have been very happy with the results. Now it is time to compile my results.

The most important thing today is to try and keep food down and keep my headache away.

MY B-DAY!

Today is my b-day. Time for me to have fun and to make everything about myself. So far the day is exactly what I wanted. With a cool 40 degrees and overcast sky - I am happy. I am feeling pretty good today - with a little nausea, but that is ok. I get to go home early today (without using vacation) and that is all that matters. Of course I "should" work hard for the next 2.5 hours until it is time to leave for lunch. My boss is out today so that is going to be hard. This weekend is going to be a full celebration. Tonight is family and a couple of friends and tomorrow is just me and my Sweetie. We are not sure what we are going to do, but I want it to be grand :-)

Beautiful Day

As I have mentioned many times in this blog, I love cooler weather. I was born during a sleet storm so I am pretty sure that has something to do with it. Tomorrow is my b-day and the forecast is calling for colder weather with a percentage of rain. Oh I hope so. Don't get me wrong, I love the clear blue sky of today with the chilling winds - the kind of weather that you spread your arms out while walking, but I adore an overcast day with cold rain.

So tomorrow is my b-day. While I love my b-days, it always makes me self conscious to hear "Happy B-day" all day long at work. However, this b-day is going to be different. The top executives are taking all of finance to Pok-E-Joes for lunch tomorrow and we get to go home afterwards. YEAH ME!!!

The biggest news is that I think my morning sickness is easing up. I had to go home early on Monday because of how bad I felt along with a migraine. Tuesday morning before I got out of bed I decided I was not going to feel sick anymore. So far it has worked. No, I am not suddenly 100% better, but I am doing much better than the last week.

I am still hoping to take the 17-24th off from work. I need it for my paper, but also my sanity. Would be nice to have a long leisurely time to prepare for Thanksgiving. My semester ends on December 2nd. Right now work is talking about sending me to Chicago from 11/29-12/1, which means all school work must be done before I leave. It is for training. I am hoping I do not go, the thought of flying now is awful, not to mention my inability to stay awake, or my husband going crazy. But we shall see.

Other than that, things are great. My Sweetie and I are doing better than ever and I am really enjoying my life right now. It is funny, you don't know what pregnancy will be like until you are there, experiencing it. Other than the hormonal rush, you also begin to see the world differently. People that normally bothered you (or at least for me) don't bother me as much. I feel more secure in myself and my relationships. I am more accepting and forgiving in people's faults and mistakes. It is amazing. Everything in my life has changed and I feel stronger, more confident, and happier because of it. I feel very poetic and intelligent.