Reality Check

Last night we went on our date. It was a great date. We had sushi - yummy yummy. Sweetie had Sake. We went to see The Lakehouse. The theater started showing up Superman. It was quite funny. We had to have someone go out and tell management that the wrong movie was showing. We had a wonderful time.

Then today I receive a reality check. I found out today that a friend from HS has Hodgkin's - a form of Lymphoma. She and I never hung out outside of school, but we were friends through photography and yearbook. I saw her a couple of times around town over the years and we always did the "how are you?" comments. I really liked her. Well HS friend S is bringing her to the Stitch-n-bitch on Thursday. I am so happy to see her again. She was only diagnosed at the end of June. So she is very new in her journey of kicking cancer's ass. The good news is that Hodgkin's has a very high rate of survival.

So let's make this about me. Just when I am truly thinking of trying to find a new job, reality hits. Someone that I know, someone I can relate to, comes up with a disease that my organization is fighting to end. I want to make sure that she knows everything that we can do for her, support groups and financial aid. She might already know. The real reality check is that I might have already entered her into our database. I know I entered someone by her first name and age.

It is just so close to home. And to be honest, I think that is a reason I have been looking for work. For a few months, I have been entering the patient aid at work. I have been very "close" to our patients. I have received several calls from family about their children or parents being at the end of their journey. The hardest was two weeks ago. A girl who was very active in the society came to the end. She was 15 and knew what this meant. She spent her last days creating artwork that could sell in support of our research. She was amazing. Such a wonderful story. The survival rate is over 80%. But the 20% kills me. When I get a call about our legal name from a 4 year old's lawyer as she is in her last weeks of life, I want to run and hug my Bug and never stop.

I could never be a social worker, a doctor, or anyone of the sort. I am not built like that. I take things very personally. So I think a big part of this job search is wanting to go back to my corporate life, where I can look at numbers and spreadsheets. Where my work life and home life are drastically different.

So now the question is, now that I know someone going through this disease, will it make me want to stay or run faster?

nap time

I have a sleeping Bug on me. We had a rough night last night. She is sick. Not sure with what, but she is. I hate being a working mom sometimes. Not sure about our date tonight. It will all depend on Bug.

Sweetie made us all breakfast this morning. Making breakfast is his "thing". Brown Sugar Pancakes and they were so very yummy. As he cooked, I chased Bug, she was feeling much better from the night before.

One thing I need to keep in mind with this whole "get healthy plan", even with my recent weight gain due to my meds, I am still 20 pounds less than I was at this point last year. And that my friend is still progress.

Tomorrow, I start the workout plan. Suprisingly, with my b-day only 17 weeks away, I do not have a crazy unrealistic workout planned. My plan is to move my body 5-6 times a week. I think that also goes with my lack of crazy unrealistic weight loss goals for my b-day. I have one goal that I am aiming for, to be considered a healthy weight. I have not been considered a healthy weight since late 1999/early 2000.

Then there is the diet. I say that I am starting phase one. However, I am not going to be crazy strict about it. MIL's b-day is during the 14 days involved with phase one. I am still going to eat a piece of the cake that I make her. My real immediate goal is to feel a bit healthier for Sweetie's b-day. There are two weeks from MIL's to Sweetie's b-day.

Somebody is waking up. I have to get her some milk.

Thursday Thirteen

Our family walk did not happen. We came home and put on Finding Nemo while we ate dinner. Shortly after eating, Bug fell asleep. Now what happens when a Bug falls asleep on you? You fall asleep too. I mean we both passed out. Sweetie finished the movie and played on his computer. But Bug and I slept like it was night time - well it was for her. I am back awake now hoping that I did not screw up my sleeping schedule and can sleep tonight. So no walk. But really good sleep.

Mamma Bee and Summer Girl participate in this thing called Thursday Thirteen. I think I will give it a try.

Thirteen Things about Getting Healthier 1. With my thyroid levels normal, I want to focus on being healthier. 2. I know that I need to eat better. My problem is that I am either eating really healthy or crap. There is no in between. 3. I am hoping that if I could feel how eating healthier can make me, well feel, that I would want to do it without needing to be "on plan". 4. I am starting Phase One of South Beach again on Monday. Not sure if I will do the full 14 days. I am aiming for during the week at least. 5. The weekends are the hardest. Honestly, if I could eat closer to Phase Two (more fruits and whole grains) on the weekends and a Phase one day or two during the week, I think I could do this. 6. And then there is exercise. 7. I used to exercise in the morning before getting ready for work. I really liked that time of day. 8. But at 6am I normally have a baby in my arms. I love snuggling her. How do I leave that to exercise? 9. See, this is why I need to get this as a routine before adding more stress to my life. 10. Once I get my butt up, the 6am thing would be best. I could workout and spend one hour for just me. I could walk and do Yourself Fitness. I have been wanting a good workout. To feel my body move. 11. I gave myself this week off to finish getting over that strep, I am still on the antibiotics. But come this weekend, I have to do something. 12. I need to stay away from the vast amount of chocolate in the office. Who knew such athletic people would have so much candy around. 13. Birthday is in just over 17 weeks. 17 weeks until 30. I can make my goal, I just need to be healthy. And give up the numbers. If I am eating healthy and exercising the majority of the week - and it is a habit by my birthday - isn't that meeting my goal of being healthier? Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, IÂ’ll add you here!)

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pee pee dance

On our vacation Sweetie and I were going to have a date night. However, we didn’t want to stop the fun of the day with the grandmas and Bug. This means that we need a date. Sweetie came up with the idea for one this weekend. He has planned for us to go to dinner and a movie (The Lake House). He even picked the movie. I also want to do something else as a surprise so I cannot blog about it. No, it is nothing sexual. But he sometimes reads my blog and I don’t want it ruined.

I am so excited about this. We have not had any time alone, other than getting ready for bed at night, in some time. So we will celebrate my levels and my upcoming attempt of phase one.

Work has been pretty good this week. I am just trudging along. Actually, I am trying to make it a job I love, in case this is where I am supposed to be.

It is all about perspective.

But I have to get off my butt. We have a family walk planned after dinner. Hope we do it. There is a cute little park that I would like to walk to for Bug. That and Sweetie and I have always used walks as a time to chat. And that is always good.

Mom’s b-day was this past weekend. We had a relaxing time and hung out at her house eating the cake I made, and it was good. This is a very busy birthday season. First is Bug, then Mom, the 21st is MIL, and Sweetie’s is Aug 4th. I have to figure out what to do for a Man who will officially be 30-something.

Even if the CPA firm calls, I think I am only testing for a max of two sections before my b-day. I need to pass, not stress myself out. And I really want a routine for my housework, eating, and exercise before I add in studying again. So not postponing, just changing goals. I would rather have one section passed than to sit and fail all four.

I have had so much water today. I am a very good water drinker. Even when I am being “bad” I will get my water in. So that is not new. But today, man I have been peeing all the time. The bad part is that I have to put the phone on night-right and leave the office. There is a community bathroom for the entire building’s floor. Which is not bad, but means there is much further to walk.

I will close as I run to the potty, yet again.

results

I got my blood test results this morning.

Drum roll please.....

For my Free T4 (normal is .73-1.95), I started with a 2.29 on 3/8. Currently it is .98. NORMAL!!!

For my Free T3 (normal is 2.3-4.2), I started with a 7.3 on 3/8. Currently it is 2.8. NORMAL!!!

For my Ultrasensative TSH (normal is .300-5.1, with this one if you are below the .3 you are hyper and if you are above the 5.1 you are hypo), I started with .024 on 3/8. Currently it is .906. NORMAL!!! This is the chemical that normally takes the longest to get into a normal range. Four months on the meds and I have it on track.

I go back in two months. I am hoping to need a reduction in my medication at that time.

I feel great today. I feel like someone told me great news, like I got a job or something. I had no idea having normal levels would make me feel so good. I have not had a normal thyroid test since right after having Bug.

The medication is working. Normal levels. This means that while I still have Graves', I am not currently Hyper. YAY.

poptarts

Chocolate poptarts. Even though I would eat them at home as a kid, they always remind me of Grandma and Grandpa’s house. They would by them special when I stayed over.

Sweetie just wrote to me that he wants a date with me with a movie and dinner. I love that.

Gave more blood today. Time to test my levels again. I should know something tomorrow.

I am giving South Beach another try. From everything I have read, this kind of eating is the best for thyroid issues. HowieMaui is going to do it with me. Wish me luck. I will be finishing phase one just before Sweetie’s b-day.

My favorite kick-ass cancer survivor is coming to Austin tomorrow. I do not think I will make it. I know I am no longer contagious, I am just so afraid to get her sick. She posted recently that she thanked someone wearing a blood donation T-shirt. The woman was so moved that she cried. I love it. I cannot wait until I can give blood again. I can be on my meds and give blood. However, the meds have to have me in a normal range with my levels. But once they are, no holding me back, I am even getting on the bone marrow registry.

And now, it is two minutes until I go and get my sweet girl and spend a fun evening doing something, well, fun.

And so we eat Nilla Waffers

Only 10 more working days with my boss. I have this week, she is off next week, and the last week in July is her last week.

Lord help me to not kill her.

No word from CPA firm, so I am going to look elsewhere for work. All I want, which is a lot, is a job I love. That way being away from Bug might be a bit easier.

Now I just need to get to feeling good enough to workout. I am feeling 100% better from Friday, but not yet feeling great.

Not Contagious

I have been on my meds for the needed 24 hours in order to no longer be considered contagious.

While I still feel a bit of a sore throat and am tired, I am feeling so much better. I was feeling so bad yesterday.

Strep

I have strep. I will be contagious until tomorrow at 1pm.

I have antibotics and the good cough syrup.

That is all.

Home Again

We are home. We did not get home until 7:30 last night due to missing our flight. But I am not getting into that, as I want this to be a happy post. All I have to say is that American Airlines sucks.

The trip was amazing. We have 689 photos from our digital camera and several rolls of film to develop. I am so lucky to have a family that I can spend a week with - 24 hours a day - and not want to kill any of them. We saw the SanDiego coast, SanDiego Zoo, Down Town Disney, Disney Land, and California Adventure. During our trip we saw polar bears, a talking trash can, a scary plastic bag, and Goofy. We experienced being stuck in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride during the most annoying part, the "pirate life for me" part with the burning building and all the drunk pirates singing. It got annoying. Bug got restless, but she hung in there. We even got my Mom on a Rollercoaster, her first. And Bug was so good!!! She was a little trooper with the plane rides, car rides, waiting in line, the heat, the rides she rode on, and all the people.

The trip was so much fun and with six days of excitement, there is no way that I could possibly blog about all of the fun.

We came home to burgers and hotdogs. My brother told me before I left that he was going to make sure that we did not have to do anything for the 4th. He had hotdogs, burgers, watermelon, and sodas all ready to eat. My brother and SIL are amazing. We ate and set off fireworks. It was a very nice celebration, even if we did get home later than expected.

I was to return to work today, but I was feeling less than wonderful and wanted to give Bug a half way normal day before returning to school. So, we slept. That was so nice.

San Diego Coast.
Bug riding her first ride at the Zoo.
Bug dancing to the blues in Downtown Disney.
Me and the Castle.

Bug playing with a fountain in California Adventure.

Where I am applying. Great location too, Main Street.

Bug at LAX waiting for our flight.

Now I must get ready for bed. I have to go to work tomorrow - ugh.

First Book

The first book of the book club is "The Best Awful" by Carrie Fisher. I will keep you updated on what I think of it (need to buy it first).

Mrs. Clean

Today we woke to a wonderful rain. Bug and I discussed the rain and how it makes us happy, she smiled and giggled at me. We had a relaxing morning and sent her to Grammy's for about 3 hours while we did some much needed cleaning/laundry. I was cleaning the shower while Sweetie handled the laundry. How else do you clean a small shower than to get it to a certain point, strip, turn on the water, get in the shower and finish up the cleaning? Sweetie thought this was so funny that he came in and took pictures of me cleaning the shower naked. I have no idea how the pictures turned out, but it cracks me up that such pictures exist on my camera now. No, they will not be posted on here.

Not only am I in a Stitch-n-Bitch, I am also in a new book club. I am excited by this. While I am not sure how much I will be able to read due to studying, I like the idea of getting together with friends to discuss books.

Tomorrow is going to be jam packed. We need to shop for last minute items for the trip, buy any needed food for before the trip, and finish laundry. Fun!

I am so excited about this trip. Sweetie and I have not been on a vacation, other than a weekend trip here and there, since 2001. And to a Disney location, our absolute favorite sort of place. I.am.so.excited.

I just had the best dessert. We have leftover icecream from Bug's party. To save my hands, and so that I would not have to scoop at all, I purchased individual chocolate, vanilla, and orange sherbert. I had one vanilla mixed with one orange sherbert. Yummy. Yep, just like a dreamcicle.

TGIF

Last night was a blast. There were four of us. We stitched and we bitched. There was alcohol present but we were not drinking. We laugh and laughed. I even cried twice from laughing so hard.

Things I learned last night:
~I cannot knit - at least not at this time. I kept messing up and the others would be like "how did you do this?"
~I have friends that care about me. They offered to help me organize my house due to my Graves' and upcoming CPA tests.
~I cannot text message - feeded bacon.
~Homemade rice crispy treats really are the best.
~Going to bed at 1:00 makes for a tired Missy.

I gave my references to the CPA firm. We will see where it leads. I know everyone is tired of hearing about it, so that is all that I will say today.

This weekend is going to be filled with checking things off of my "to pack for trip" list, shopping for needed items, cleaning for HowieMaui and 4th of July, and relaxing.

Not only am I tired today, my back hurts. Not sure why, maybe because of a small person sleeping sideways this morning. She is crazy. Or maybe from busting at the seams last night.

Sweetie was so amazing last night,letting me go out and all. I really appreciate it. He is too good to me. I think I will keep him around.

Stitch-n-Bitch

Tomorrow is my first Stitch-n-Bitch "meeting". Also known as, "a way for women to get together, eat chocolate, drink wine, and bitch". As I don't knit or anything, I will lead the bitching.

I am excited about vacation, 1 million and 1 things to do still, but that is ok. More worried about when I get back. I told myself that I needed to start studying no matter what when I get back. That means work. I have a friend that just got results of her first section, remember there are 4. She made a 72, passing is a 75. OUCH. I would hate to be that close and not pass.

This was going to be a longer post, but Bug had her 12 month well-baby check up (she is healthy) and received three shots today. She is clingy and needs my snuggling. And she got a new carseat installed today - such a big girl.

Brain Dump

Warning Randomness Ahead.

This weekend was very nice. Sweetie had a blast at Main Event for Father's day.

After a good and long conversation, Sweetie told me to tell the CPA firm to move forward with my application. We shall see if this proves an actual offer. I found out on Friday that my boss is moving on to another position within the company. It will be strange here without her. And as much as she can drive me crazy, I was learning how to work with her.

I will keep everyone updated. If I get this job then I will have time to study for the CPA - yay. And I will have the week after Christmas off - Yay. But I will have to buy some suits, or very nice slacks and dress tops at the very least. The good part about this is that my Sweetie loves it when I dress professionally.

I am giving it to fate. Now I wait and see where fate wants to take me.

Onto other news, vacation starts next week. So much to do. Don't worry lists are already on my computer. Plus I want to clean the bedroom and bathroom so that HowieMaui and BestFriend don't see the true depth of our sloppiness when they help with he cat box. Now that is a good friend. Hey, I am going on a great vacation. Wanna scoop my cat's poop while I am gone? I promise to bring back some piece of crap with the name of the amazing place where I stayed while you scooped cat poop.

Silver Lining

Today I went to the Dr, three months since starting the meds. She does not think the muscle cramping is from the medicine per say. But rather she thinks that the cramping comes from my current ratio of the three chemicals that make up the thyroid. So while the meds put me in this ratio, it is not a side effect. Does that make sense? She believes that it will get better as my last chemical becomes closer to normal.

I went in to the appointment all bummed. All I could think of was my weight gain and the cramping. Then the dr asked me some questions.

How is the medication treating you?
~I said the joint pain was all but gone and that now it was the cramping that she and I already discussed. Oh wait, yea the joint pain is a lot less.

She asked about my hand tremors.
~Oh those are gone. Yea, those are gone.

How are the heart palpatations?
~Those are gone too.

She then checked my thyroid. And declared no swelling.
~It was enlarged last time. Wow this medicine really is working.

WOO HOO. It is working. She did not suggest the radiation. I was afraid she would. So I need to get on the ball with my weight. Hard when we leave for vacation in 2 weeks. I cannot believe it is so close.

So now I only have 21 more months on this medication. UGH. That seems like forever. That is the same amount of time since I got pregnant. How funny. Life has changed so much in 21 months.

I go back on July 12th for more blood work.

Birthday Party!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The birthday party was a huge success. I feel so loved and special. Brother came over on Saturday and fixed our fence and gate - THANK YOU BROTHER!!!! Sweetie helped him, they bonded while I cleaned inside. And we had much appreciated last minute decoration help. Mom and MIL handled balloons and Brother and SIL went crazy with the crepe paper. It was perfect.
Sweetie painted a piggy bank for Bug with 365 quarters in it for her. I painted a rocking chair. I stayed up very late on Saturday night completing my masterpiece. I think it turned out great. Best part, she loves it.
Other wonderful gifts included a piano, a water table, little people farm, books, clothing, really cool shoes and artwork. She really made out and with only one book and one top as duplicates - I am very impressed. I did feel like I didn't get a chance to chat with everyone - we had over 30 people there. I spent most of my time chasing my Bug, as it should be. She was the center of attention. And she had older boys to play with - she loves big kids, but boys are her favorite. The last of the people left after 11:00 - 6 hours after the end of the party. I love it. Bug was awake the whole time.
Best part of the day
~ family helping the decorating, as I mentioned above
~ seeing a house full of people who love my Bug
~ seeing Bug play with the big kids
~ friends helping pick up
~ seeing Bug's name in icing - made me feel like an adult
~ opening gifts with Bug and seeing items that I mentioned once as something I would like for her to have - BestFriend listens
~ Sweetie gave out pins that he made of his bug logo, as can be seen at his cafe press store. I love them.

Not so best part of the day
~ having the worst muscle cramps to date - each buttock and back of the thigh at the same time - while feeding Bug her b-day cake. I was able to get Sweetie to take over for a minute while I went to the bathroom to try and stretch. It did not help - but I did go right back to the kitchen and take my magnesium and calcium. I was a good soldier and no one knew of my pain, other than Sweetie.

And now one of the sunflower pictures:

4 Hours Until Party Time

Almost time for Bug's party. I am so happy that Sweetie designed the start time to be 3:00. It gives me time to do last minute shopping and cleaning. Bug and I headed to the grand 'ol Target for the remaining party items (as Sweetie was finishing the yard). There is nothing I like more than morning. And when I say morning, I mean the kind of morning where getting to work is not involved, yet you are awake. The cool breeze was blowing, a nice enjoyment as we will hit over 100 today. I drive our normal way and what do I see? A field full of sunflowers. I don't know when they bloomed, but it had to have been very recently as I drive this area often. I turned around, went back home, grabbed my camera and headed back out. I hope some of the photos turn out. They were all taken from my car, as I didn't want to get Bug out.

ok back to work.

Friday Friday Friday

I am home. I went to sleep, aka passed out cold, at 8:45 last night. I slept until 7:30 with the only distraction of Bug waking up for a bottle. It was a deep sleep, it was an emotional sleep. I woke up feeling blah with a yucky tummy. I tried to make a go at work - no such luck.

So now I am home nursing my belly. After a nap, and feeling better, I may begin some cleaning for Sunday.

I thought I would use this time to play Stuff Portrait Friday - have not done that in awhile.

1) A Wide Open Space - This is where MotoDiva, DarkDiva, and I went camping in August 2004.


2) Brightnes - I choose this one for not only the brightness the flash causes, but also for the person (me) attempting to take a picture through glass with the flash on.

3)In the Dark - Glow in the dark bowling.

Happy Birthday Bug!!!!

It is here. My Bug turned One today, one year. One wonderful year. Last year I met my little girl. She was small, cute, and new to the world. Now she growls for fun, prefers iced tea to any fruit juice or soda, and gives the best snuggles in the world. Oh how I love her. Today we celebrated. The Dr gave us a prescription and we go back in 2 weeks for her wellness checkup. We ate lunch, shopped, napped, and I baked a cake. A darn good cake too, if I do say so myself. We had Bug's family over and we enjoyed the cake. Bug enjoyed it too - all over herself. I loved it. Now she is falling asleep on her Daddy's chest.


A year ago.
My girl laughing.
Sweet Bug.
This is what cute looks like.
Me baking the cake.
The cake.
Sweetie and Bug.
Me and Bug.

06-06-06

People are so funny about today's date. Last year, as we prepared to have bug, we commented that we were happy that it was not a year later as her delivery date would be today (planned C-sections are done on Tuesdays). The nurses had not realized it and we had some good conversations about it. While I am not too superstitious, I would hate for the remainder of her life to be DOB = 6-6-6. Jump forward a year and I see articles with women requesting early inductions because their due dates are today. I read other "articles" that say the world is ending today.

I don't think God would plan the end of days based on a number like this. Plus wouldn't that mean that Australia and the like should already be gone. I mean it is 6/7/06 over there now. A time or a date just doesn't work as well as people think it would. But what do I know? It could be the end today. And you know what? There is nothing I could do about it. There was a lady at the daycare today, another parent, who said she was putting yesterday's date because she could not write the whole 6/6/06 number.

But let's discuss what this date REALLY means. It means the day before my baby girl turns one. One more day and I will have kept her alive a year. My baby girl. I was home with her yesterday - she got sick Saturday and Sunday - nasty nasty sick. So we slept yesterday. I think she had a bigger plan. She knew I was not feeling great - I have a cold/allergies. She knew I needed rest. So she and I took three big naps yesterday. I love just holding that baby. But I am happy to say that yesterday evening I worked out, cleaned the kitchen, and did some painting.

Tomorrow, Sweetie, Bug, and I are all taking the day off. In the morning I am baking a cake - she has to have cake on her b-day. And yes, she will get to eat her piece all on her own. We planned on also getting a family photo taken. However, she has a strange rash all over her body. We do not know the cause. She does not have a fever - but we hope to have more answers tomorrow at her 1 year appointment. So we might have to postpone the photoshoot until the weekend. I will take a million photos tomorrow to capture the day, but I am not paying the fees for professional ones until she looks normal, I know I am a bad mom :-)

Tonight we are going to the party shops (did you know that you have to order brown balloons - none in Austin that we can find), cleaning the living room and dining room for tomorrow's very casual gathering, working out, and finishing the needed painting. I am so very emotional about tomorrow. She started the 12-18 month room today. The part that killed me? She fit in.

On the CPA job front - I emailed back stating that I could not go lower than $2 an hour higher than they suggested. Even that would be a cut, but a more bearable one as Bug's tuition just went down $40 a month. We shall see.

I am so sore. Sweetie and I have been working out to our Yourself Fitness. That Maya works you hard. I love it. So my new goal, I know always changing, for my b-day is to earn at least a bronze with the President's Challenge (20,000 points). That way the goal is not based on weight - if I lose, I lose. But if I can increase my fitness level, that would be fantastic. Sweetie is doing it too. We have a team and everything. Let me know if you want to join. And yes, I will order the cheesy medal.

Oh and I cut my hair this weekend. I love it. I loved it before she finished and I never got that "please stop cutting now so it will look decent" feeling. As I was paying, a stranger, waiting for her haircut - on a cell phone even, told me that I look so much better and younger. Awesome. I cannot put it in a ponytail, but that is ok. It is less to deal with.

I am missing my Dad a lot today. BestFriend says it is because he is here for Bug's b-day. I like that idea.

Help Me Internets

So I have an interesting problem. Last week I went on an interview. It is with a CPA firm. It is for 25-30 hours a week and those hours are flexible. While I have accounting experience, I do not have public accounting experience. In spite of that little fact, the position would have me working with clients. The dress code is suits and I would not receive any holiday or vacation pay - being part-time and all.

The CPA told me that she wants to move forward and check my references but the kicker is that she is offering $4 an hour less than I asked as my min. Which is more than I am making now, but due to the reduction in hours it would mean less take home on the weeks where I am at only 25 hours a week. She said that I could get a raise once I pass my CPA - which would give me incentive that I need.

When I first applied to this job I was very excited. I figured I could work from 9-2, drive straight to a library, and then study for another 2-3 hours. I could sit for everything before the end of the year. This would raise my earning power while also giving me public experience.

The reduction in pay would hurt. You see, the pay cut I took to work where I currently am hurt - well tightened us up. Sweetie says if I can figure out the money part that he is supportive either way.

So the problem? It is scary. Bottom line, scared shitless scary. I have never worked with clients. I have never had to be professional. OK friends would say that I am professional. But even when I worked as a Senior I dressed casual and only dealt with auditors, executives, and other departments.

And I am comfy. I think the best way to describe it. I am in a nice comfy bed, wrapped in a down comforter. I don't want to come out. The outside may be cold, the ground may be hard.

That is my current job. I have a great cause, great people, I am learning to work with my boss, and great time off. I know my job. It is stress-free, without overtime, and did I mention - EASY. But... There is no room for advancement, it is not accounting, and the pay will never make Sweetie a stay-at-home-dad.

The decision is hard. Part of me would love the accounting experience. Part of me likes my comfy bed. I worry about stress. I doubt myself. I want to pass this stupid test. I worry I won't get along as well with the two CPAs as I do with my staff here. I worry that if I leave that I will regret it.

I want more time with Bug. I want to feel proud of what I do. Well, that did not come out right. I love where I currently work. And I know it is bad, but my title kills me. I find myself explaining why I am here after being a Senior Accountant.

The other part of me says to enjoy where I am at and study for the stupid test on my own. The thing is that part-time work for a CPA firm rarely deals with clients. That would be a great opportunity. And they are wanting someone who is interested in someday becoming a partner. And if I had time during the day to study without taking time away from Bug on the weekends, man that would be priceless.

Then there is the other part of me. The part that is afraid of the test. Because if I pass that means that I really am WAYYYYYY overqualified for this job and need to leave. And that almost always means more hours and more stress.

Happy Blogversary

Happy blogversary to me. Two years ago today I started this site. Sweetie was blogging for awhile before and inspired me to start my own.

So much has changed in two years!

Spa Missy

I am a relaxed Missy. After my last post, Sweetie came home for lunch. We found our bread went moldy - yuck - so we went out for lunch. It was a nice and relaxing visit where I learned about my cute walk. After lunch I went to Target. I had a great time shopping. I got Bug an outfit for her b-day, a shirt for me, and many items to make a spa treatment - hair mask, facial mask, and foot mask. I also splurged and got some makeup. I hardly ever buy makeup. This was a big one for me. After getting back home, I set up a bubble bath with this great foaming bath my niece got me for my b-day. I did all three masks. Oh and I got a great body spray. I am nice and comfy now. My toes are pretty, my makeup looks good, and I smell good. Now I am ready for Bug and Sweetie to come back home.

All about me

Since I had to work on Monday, I got today off. Sweetie insisted that Bug go to school. He said that if I clean I would not want her around and if I do not clean, that I should have a day for me. So Sweet.

I am feeling great today. I can honestly say that. Nice feeling. I had two small cramps yesterday - but nothing bad so I think that the calcium and magnesium is working.

You know when people ask "what would your perfect date/day be?", I get annoyed by that. It depends on so many things. For example, I have been exhausted lately. So before my day off I was in bed before 9:30. I woke to a beautiful girl snuggling me. She is a snuggly baby. Some aren't, but she is. She will wake up (she comes to our room when she wakes up during the night, but last night she started there, lol), turn, and lay her head on you. A great way to begin the waking up process.

I got up with Sweetie and Bug, helped them get ready for the day and ate my breakfast. I then took the perfect nap. It was the kind where you fall into a deep sleep quickly and when you wake up you feel awake - not groggy nor out of it. I also woke to rain. Oh how I love the rain. It is still raining. I have all the lights off so I can enjoy the full affect. I am currently on my favorite couch drinking a hot chai.

I feel great. I don't know how to explain it. I am wearing comfy pants and a t-shirt, sans bra. I am not a no-bra girl. I like the girls supported. Well after having Bug, I don't mind as much. They seem more equal now, or I don't care as much. Well, I feel thin today. Normally I do not feel thin when I go without a bra. But today I do. I used a self tanner on Sunday. It worked - however my stretch marks are peeking through the dye. I love it. I love looking at my belly and seeing stretch marks, I know I am crazy. But they are proof that my little angel was in my belly. Proof that it was not a dream.

During my nap, I had strange dreams. I dreamt that my mom had a PS2 and she had Yourself Fitness. I also dreamt that I made Bug's party cake a week early and my mom told me that it would not last for a week. So funny. I know it is because right before the nap Sweetie sent me the confirmation that our Yourself Fitness "game" shipped. And the cake makes sense. I am still undecided on the party cake. I have the makings for the actual day cake - but am toying with the idea of making the party one too. But the other interesting dream was one where I admitted that I love my job. It is funny, my job is with good people, good cause, pay sucks - but there is more to life, and it is boring. But I am off today and next Wednesday - that says a lot. I think this is where I am supposed to be right now. No overtime, lots of time off (4 weeks a year for vacation and 3 weeks for sick time) is very nice.

I am listening to classical music, it seems very appropriate. Just heard from Sweetie and he is coming home for lunch. He requested my famous grilled cheese sandwiches. He is too cute. Before I started the whole work while going to school routine (worked full time while attending school 6-15 hours a semester from 1999-2005), I cooked for him. I made him scallops, jicama salads, quesadillas, the list goes on. The boy does not remember anything I used to cook. All he remembers, and is his favorite, is my grilled cheese. This past weekend we celebrated our Priest getting his PhD. This, of course, made me want to go back to school for mine (it has been over a year since I received my MBA). If I could figure out what I would want it in, I would soooooo want to be Dr. Missy. Sweetie says I am addicted to school. Well, I am good at it :-) The biggest thing is that I have no reason for my PhD. It would not further my career unless I wanted to teach. My favorite professor of all time has her's in Statistics. That sounds like fun. No, seriously, I loved statistics.

I have been in a funk. The weight gain with the meds has really gotten to me. It is hard to eat right and exercise for health and not to move the scale down. But today that is how I feel, like I am being a healthier person.

What else is in store for the day? I am not sure, I may post more later. I may go shopping. I love shopping by myself. Or I may take a bubble bath while watching a romantic movie.

I have already taken several pictures today. I may take more. Oh how I long for my BAMF (as my blogging bitches call them) camera. Sweetie is dying to get one for me. But I told him that the agreement is that I must pass all four sections of the CPA before I get to have such a cool digital camera.

I just had to share how great I feel today. I hope everyone feels great today. It is a great day. Well, I think I rambled enough here for now. I will close until later.

TT + MP

Friday night was a blast. We stayed out until 4:30 - yes very very very late. After our clubbing we went to breakfast. Too much fun. The second bar we were at had picnic tables where people had carved initials and comments. In honor of our 14 years together (it was the anniversary since Sweetie asked me to be his girlfriend), he carved our initials into the table - too sweet.

I received my test results from last week's blood letting. This look good - Dr told me on Wednesday that things looked normal and to continue my meds - that the muscle cramping was not a sign of needed adjustment. I am a numbers person, so seeing the results made me feel better. Two of the three chemicals are normal now.

Last night I started taking additional calcium and magnesium. I am not sure if it helped, all I know is that last night and today I have not experienced the horrible cramping. I woke 5 times the night before with horrible neck, leg, and chest cramps. I will take it again tonight and see if the cramps stay away.

Pain from today - cheering at captex tri (killed my legs) and listening to side one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Movie soundtrack. Totally crappy. Sweetie would not turn it off until we heard T-U-R-T-L-E Power. I also got a bad migraine. Sweetie was so sweet and took Bug shopping so that I would have a quiet house to nap in. VERY NICE!!

Turning Point

Sit back, relax, and let me tell you a story.

Back when I was in Jr High I had two "best friends". One lived in my neighborhood and one lived in Round Rock (not far away and same school). The one in Round Rock, we will call her RR, had a friend whose parents were split up. One parent lived in Round Rock close to RR and the other lived in Pflugerville (not too far but a different school district). RR and her friend would go to Pville to visit the other parent. RR met a boy in pville. The friend and RR's relationship lessened (not sure what happened), but her romance with her Pville boy was strong so she continued to Pville to visit. Confused yet? Let's continue.

So, Neighbor, RR, and I became best friends. We spent all our time together. She took us to Pville to meet her boyfriend and his friends. I started dating, let's call him Coin. Soon RR and her boyfriend broke up - really do not remember why. Neighbor started dating him. I do not remember if this was an issue. I just remember that all three of us would go to Pville during the summer and stay all day hanging out with these guys then it was just Neighbor and myself going. Coin and I were not soulmates and did not last.

Coin and I kept in touch. I introduced him to other friends. He dated W, I think he dated S, I know he dated C, and he dated L. But I am digressing. May 1992 he took me and C to a party. That is where I met Sweetie. That is where he said "The short one's mine" to Sweetie.

The point? Tonight we are celebrating HS friend's 29th b-day. The Two HS friends that we have been hanging out with and Sweetie and I are going. Sweetie is the only guy going and will be the DD. However, there is one other joinging us, RR. I have not seen her for years. She is the reason I have Sweetie. Without her I would have never met the Pville group, and I would have never gone to that party. I will let everyone know how it goes.

What to say?

I have not been good with blogging. Life seems to be taking all of my time. That is a good thing. I still feel a bit lost between my Grave's and my career.

So, a friend found a family member's secret blog. This has me a bit more paranoid. I write what I want. And while that may be boring most of the time, it is me. So what if a co-worker, someone from my past, or a potential employer found my site? It could happen. The world is a very small place. Would this alter what I say, how I write? At first I thought it would. Then I started really thinking about it. This is me. If you want to come to my site and read, I do not have a problem with that. And I think having my site public in the first place means that I have to be willing to take the chance that someone who might not like what I write, or might be a person I write about, has as much access as the next person. I like blogger for this reason. I personally feel that if I am going to write about it, then I am going to incur the liability that goes along with it. So there it is. However, I do have a statcounter. I know when someone new reads me. I also know my regular readers. I might not know who they are, but I know the repeat locations. Bottom line, I am going to write what I want.

I am happy to say that the 1st b-day party planning is well underway. I cannot believe she is turning one. I am very lucky and am getting the day off. Not sure what we are going to do, but it will be fun - I am sure. Along the same lines, our first vacation is close to being fully planned. All I gotta say is Mouse Ears and Sweetie's Birth City.

It is late. I need to go to bed so that I can attempt to work out in the morning.

Thank you skinny girl

So, I was in the drive through at chick-fil-a and in the car in front of me is this sorority 18 year old. I have been counting my points this week, but not limiting them. I want to see what I normally eat and cut back at a reasonable level rather than jumping right to 20 points a day. Well, I was tasting those waffle fries as I looked at the pre-order board. I knew what I was going to get. Then I hear the young thin chick order a chicken strip salad. UGH, she was right. So I ordered it too. And it was good!!! Thank you skinny girl, whoever you are.

This week has been rough. I have been suffering from some depression, joint pain, and muscle cramps (imagine a charlie-horse on your neck). This has been getting me down. I just did a search on the internet and found this:

"If you have severe fatigue, excessive sleepiness, depression, or muscle cramps while taking PTU or Tapazole, this could be an indication of hypothyroidism. Report these symptoms to your doctor so that your dose can be adjusted"

This would mean that my medicine would need to be reduced and I would be one step closer to being off of it. I don't have any hopes up, and my next appointment isn't until June 14, but I think I will call on Monday and see if I can get at least my blood work done.

I know I have more to update, just not sure what to write. I saw my buddy Chris last night. I sure do miss working with him. I only wish I knew what would be best right now.

Where is that damn crystal ball?

Oh and as of this morning - Bug has, drum role please, FOUR teeth.

May 15th

Today marks 9 years since we lost Sweetie's father. So much has changed in that time. We miss him greatly. But I know he remains close.

This anniversary always makes Sweetie and I want to be together nonstop. If I could have, all my current sick time is used up, I would have had us skip work. Since we could not do that, lunch was in order. I said that we "should" eat what we brought and save the money. Sweetie agreed. Then not even 5 minutes later he imed me that he didn't care, he missed me, and wanted to see me.

Today also marks the date to begin training for Motive, but I don't think that is realistic. Or it also marks the day to start studying for the CPA - in order to test for all four sections before my b-day. Sweetie and I had a long talk last night. He wants me to still hold off on the testing until my levels are normal and I have the whole eating healthy and exercising routine as a habit. Makes sense.

So I am going to focus on eating healthy, exercising, de-stressing, and organizing the house. I have four weeks until I have my blood tested again. Once I get the results, I will reevaluate. I may start studying at that point, or I may still be focusing on lifestyle. I hate this medicine and I want to do anything and everything I can to get off of it. The scale moving upward is killing me.

If only I could focus on being healthy and not a number on the scale.

And everything I read tells me that a southbeach-like diet is the best for me. I am working on Weight Watchers now. However, I am going to focus on the core plan with my menu planning - it is very much like south beach. We shall see.

I am getting ready to pack up and get Sweetie and Bug. Bug is so silly. She danced for everyone yesterday. And gave me a million kisses. I love that sweet little girl. Tonight I will hold her extra tight.

Happy Mother's Day

This weekend has been superb.

Friday night we hung out with HowieMaui and her husband. Good times, good times.

Yesterday, we packed up Bug and participated in Walkamerica. We supported HS friend and the whole event was very moving. During the walk they had memorials on the walk for the babies lost. My friend's son was one of these memorials. When I saw it, tears began streaming down my face. I wasn't bawling, but I could not control the tears. I did the whole walk and Bug was awake for a good 70% of it. The most important thing was that my friend knows that we went out and supported her. And I got a workout in.

After the walk we met Brother, SIL, and Mom for a Mother's Day brunch, as Brother could not make the celebration on Sunday. That was the BEST food. After such good food and exercise, what else could we do but take a family nap? Plus it was a perfect priming for our date night.

Our date night was the best ever. The evening began with a quick stop at Starbucks. We enjoyed cold drinks (it was very hot yesterday) and a small bite while enjoying each other's company. Then we headed to the Ballet. It was AWESOME. The costumes were amazing, the dancing beautiful, and the choreography moving. We watched with our arms interlinked. I am so very happy that we saw this ballet. It was amazing. After the ballet we stopped by ToyJoy and got a couple of things for Bug's b-day. We are rarely downtown anymore and this is a cool toy store that stays open until after midnight.

We finished the evening at Cheesecake factory. This location was a movie theater when we had our first date 14 years ago on the 10th. While we miss the theater a great deal, we are happy that there is something there where we can sit and reminisce.

Truly, it was a fantastic date. I love my husband. And having him hold my hand in his, looking me in the eye, and telling me how much he loves when we go on dates like this, it simply makes a girl's heart melt.

Today consisted of Bug and me at Target at 8:30. Yes, this was by choice as we needed a couple of items for the Mother's day event. This was a perfect beginning to my first Mother's day. Bug and I shopped and had a blast. Sweetie was busy at home with the lawn. And I even got an outfit for myself. We had SIL (Sweetie's sister), niece, MIL, Bug's Great Grandpa, and Mom over for Mother's Day fun. I received beautiful and thoughtful gifts. I am very lucky. Bug got me two books for me to read to her - I love it - and Sweetie got me a new battery for my camera.

As I sit here, everyone is playing a game. I am downloading photos - yep another photo update coming soon. I am blissfully happy. Bug has been busy today showing off her walking abilities. I still cannot believe she is as big as she is. In 2003, Sweetie was working at a steakhouse on Mother's day. One of his tables had a young boy choke on some fatty meat. Sweetie came to the rescue and performed the heimlich. This year, we discussed this event in detail as Sweetie is now a dad. I love that story, it is one he is most proud of.

Now I am off to have some of our favorite Chinese food with Sweetie. A perfect end to a perfect weekend.

I hope everyone had a wonderful day.

Boundless Energy

That was Bug tonight. After she and Sweetie shopped for Mother's day, we got a quick bite to eat and headed to BestFriend's for a nice visit. Bug never stopped moving. She took a couple of quick steps, furniture walked, crawled, and wiggled all over the place. Needless to say, her cuteness and abilities impressed her Godparents.

The last couple of days my knee has been a bit sore. Not fair as I have not been working out like I should. This makes me believe that only one 5k might be all I can do this weekend. That is ok. All that matters this weekend is spending time with family.

After Mother's day I am going to get back on track. Whether it is South Beach or Weight Watchers, I need a plan. Gaining back this weight has killed my motivation. I know it is silly - some are going through much worse. But this is me. I am trying very hard to adapt a healthy lifestyle for my Graves. One that focuses on nurturing food and exercise. Then even if I don't lose weight I will still meet my goal of being healthier for my b-day.

After Mother's day I am also planning on picking back up the 'ol CPA review. My levels are close to normal and I currently have the stress free job that can allow me to study, I need to take advantage of it.

But now it is late. I need to get to bed for work tomorrow.

Night all.

These Boots Were Made for Walking

SHE WALKED. My 11 month old little girl took her first steps. Today after work, we went to the Disney Store. Now, we have been working with her on her walking for awhile, but today was the day. When we got to the store, I put her down so that she could walk holding my hand. For the first time she walked a ton with holding only onto one hand. YAY. She also walked a ton with holding onto one of Sweetie's hands and one of mine. Too Cute!

So what was the motivation for the actual steps? Right when we got to the store, the first thing we found was a pink tinkerbell cup. She proceeded to lick it - my rule is "you lick it, you buy it". So we knew this cute little cup was ours. She was holding it throughout the store. She feel in love with this cup right away. Once she dropped the cup we made our move. Sweetie got her standing and he and I were in front of her by her beloved cup. She did nearly three steps to get the cup back. I love it. Sweetie was so floored that he went to the saleswoman we chatted with earlier in the visit and told her that they had the best cups ever.

OK that is all that I can think to post. Mostly because SHE TOOK HER FIRST STEPS!!!!

11 months

Today, Bug is 11 months. This amazes me. She is turning into the sweetest little girl. I just love hanging out with her. And I am very lucky that I got to do that a lot this weekend.

I have not blogged in forever it seems. Thursday night I went out with BestFriend and Arden. HowieMaui could not make it and was missed. We planned to play pool. However, the pool area was reserved for another hour after we got there. No problem, we had dinner and went back. It was over an hour later but still reserved. We decided pool would have to be for next time and went to WorldMarket where we shopped and talked. All in all still a good night. Sweetie is so wonderful about letting me go out with the girls. This is going to be a regular occurrence - like once to twice a month. Yay.

Sweetie and I had a rare situation this weekend. We did not have any plans on Friday or Saturday. That was so nice. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with family and friends - but to just be with Sweetie and Bug, that was wonderful. We went to the bookstore on Friday night and hung out (aka Sweetie played his game while I read and surfed). And then Saturday we spent the day Mother's day shopping. It was so much fun. Last night Sweetie and I watched "The Green Mile" while doing laundry. I know it sounds corny - but I loved it.

Currently Sweetie and Bug are napping. I cannot say anything as they let me sleep in. That was nice. I woke to a horrible cramp in my back - I get these a lot now. But the sleeping in was good. Then we are getting all packed up and going to the new Blanton museum with HowieMaui and her husband. I cannot wait. I love museums and this will be Bug's first one outside my belly.

Only a month until her b-day. I am shocked - it has gone by so quickly.

I am a little upset as my goal for her b-day was to be a healthy weight. Due to my meds, I do not think this will be possible. Blah. So I will focus on moving my body until then and not allowing myself to become obsessed.

Next weekend should help that. I am hoping to do two 5ks. One on Saturday for March of Dimes. I have a HS friend who had two premature babies - one survived into a beautiful now 3 year old, the other only lasted minutes. Needless to say this is a charity close to her heart and I will be there to show my support. Then on Sunday is the Austin Runner's Club Daisy 5K benefitting Any Baby Can.

Oh ya and next weekend is Mother's day. That means that Saturday night is our date night with Ballet Austin. Such a packed first mother's day for me. I love it.

This salsa was made in NYC. Get a Rope.

I survived the audit/regional controller visit. Everyone was so worried here, even my boss. It turned out to be the EASIEST audit I have ever experienced. I did not have to pull invoices, journal entries, or even bank statements. All I had to do was answer simple questions, sit in on meetings and go to lunch with him. So, all in all, not a bad couple of days.

Having the Controller here cracked me up. He is from NYC. He was SHOCKED when he read a "no handguns allowed inside the building". He could not get over that we can carry weapons and that they can even be concealed if you have the correct permit.

All I could say was "well, this is Texas".

He also experienced some nice Central Texas weather: rain, thunder, lightening, and hail. He kept saying "It was 80, how could there be hail". When I told him that it is thunderstorm season he said he would take the snow any day.

He told me that I need to visit NYC but not live there. LoL, I so agree.

I took him to lunch today to Trudy's - very Austin. We sat at the bar and the bartender was very Austin with his Big black earrings causing the earring hole to be at least a 1/4", tats, and grunge type clothing. The controller pointed out that this guy would fit-in in NYC. This coming from a small Indian man in a suit. I honestly think he thought this man looked "out of the norm" and was making the comment to let me know that he is used to seeing this. I don't think he had an idea of how normal this man looked.

The funniest part was when he would ask questions. The lunch was the end of the visit and was just the two of us. We already discussed work the day before so he was trying his hardest at good conversation. He asked me what kind of music I listen to. After I answered, he was shocked that I did not list country music as one of my favorites. He asked me if I carry a gun, after the whole "no gun in the building discussion". He was shocked that I do not know anyone who has the conceal carry permit. I was a little surpised when he said he listens to classic rock. Then he defined classic rock as 80's and Guns and Roses. I like this music a lot, but I do not think I would call it Classic Rock.

Then it got bad, all I can say is that the was really trying to figure us Texans out. He asked if I own cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. I told him that I had some boots from when I was in Jr High but have not worn them in over 15 years. He was shocked. He asked what I do for fun. When I said some of the things we do, he came back with "you hunt, right". I told him no. He said "well, hunting is big here right"...

He spoke of his 45 minute commute, which from what I have heard is not bad for NYC. He said it is hard because he has to use both the heater and the AC during the year. Without a pause he says "you never use your car heater do you?" Uh yes, we do. Not as much as you snow people, but it is still cold at 40 degrees and warrants a heater.

Then he told me that he is going to Dallas and Houston next month. Poor guy is going to think he has this whole Texas thing figured out based on Austin, and then be shocked by Houston and Dallas. Nothing against either, but Austin is one of a kind.

He did tell me that everyone is nicer here then NYC. He also said that the Tex Mex is much better here. I smiled and told him that I hope so.

May Already?

How is it already May? The 8th marks 14 years since I met Sweetie. All I can say is hottub and white t-shirt. teeheehee

After my last post, I came the next day to work to find a nice card from everyone in the office without the word assistant on it and a $25 gift certificate to Cheesecake Factory. I was supposed to get it with the balloon, but my boss forgot it on her desk. That did make up for it a bit. I plan to use it on the 13th when Sweetie takes me out on the town for Mother's Day. Dinner, Ballet Austin's Romeo & Juliet followed by drinks and cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory (a tradition of ours).

No word from the company I interviewed with. Today at lunch, Sweetie asked if I followed up. HAHAHAHAHA of COURSE I followed up. I have called or emailed everyday since the interview.

South Beach Phase one phased out. Sweetie and I felt very limited with our snacks. I know there are some great things out there to eat. But when you want crunch - you want a chip- not a celery stalk.

New 30th b-day goals: After much research, I am bowing out of the Motive Bison Stampede. I do not want to start a training that I might not finish. The reason being Graves causes muscle fatigue. I am not sure if my legs could take 3-4 hours. And I am not in a "beat all odds" mood. I did Motive before. I was 190 pounds and completed it. I still want a goal for my b-day. I have never run a mile in my life, not even in school. I always walked. Now, I have a bad knee, so I have to take it easy and train for the full 6 months that I have. But I want to run for my birthday.

This means I get to have a b-day party on the day before my b-day - yay. I am not sure what I want to do yet. I told Sweetie "no surprises". I want to plan the perfect b-day. Not that I expect a perfect day, but I want to be doing something I truly love with people I truly love.

OK so new goal for 30th b-day less than 28 weeks - To be the healthiest I have ever been. My realistic - think about when having a hard day - goal is to run a 5k (Susan G Komen)and to be considered in a healthy weight range.

However, my "carrot on a stick" goal is to run a 10k - and to be at my goal weight. I figure if I was able to train to walk 13.1 when I was obese, I can train to run 6.2 when I am much lighter.

I also joined the President's Challenge. I hope it helps to be a part of a group.

OK This has taken hours to write. Stupid work. We have a guy from the Home Office coming for the next two days. Should be nice and exhausting as I get to attend EVERY meeting with him and take him to lunch on both days. Blah.

Only one more hour until I get to see my little girl - who kisses us now - heehee. She is not like a lot of babies. She likes her hugs but only kisses when she wants to - and last night she kissed both me and Sweetie. I love those baby kisses. AND surprisingly, they were close mouthed, lol.

What a Wonderful World

I love this song, most specificity - Sarah Brightman's version. Sweetie and I adore her.

That is truly how I am feeling right now. Today was my last half day of work as Bug goes back to school tomorrow. I have loved coming home, having lunch with Sweetie and then enjoying the afternoon with Bug. But I know that she misses her friends.

Today, after a two hour nap - Oh how I love that she is so snuggly, we went to Target. She stood in the main part of the cart and was the best baby ever. Twice, even though she was being a big girl, she turned and gestured to me that she wanted to be held. The second time, right before we were leaving, she even put her head on my shoulder for the longest time. She is amazing.

I got a pedometer so that I can do the 10k steps a day challenge (15k if you are trying to lose weight, as I am). I need to remember to take it to bed so that I can get every step possible logged tomorrow.

And, we are completing another good day on Phase One. The scale even went down!! A first since starting my meds.

Today is administrative assistant's day. I got a balloon. I need to focus on the thought. But it kind of irked me. This is going to come across snobbish and rude - so let's remember the rules of the sandbox - my blog = my opinions. When I first walked in and saw the balloon, I smiled. It is blue with daisies and read "Thank you for all that you do!" Work has been "less than" and only being there half a day has sucked. I figured my boss was doing something to make me feel better. Well, she was and I need to focus on that. I wasn't at work long before the balloon turned and I saw the other side "Happy Assistant's Day". I was a little shocked. I am on the "management team" of my office. Of course, the management team is almost 50% of the office, but I digress. I am in charge of running the office, tracking people's comings and goings, enforcing our dress code (no open toes unless you have a defined heel), and other responsibilities.

I am not an assistant. I am not a receptionist or secretary (although I do answer the phones and greet people as part of many other duties). I am the Office Manager. I have two freaking degrees - of which I am using neither at this job. I know it sounds bad, but with every "oh yes, happy assistant's day" from the staff as they noticed the balloon, I wanted to scream that I am not up to my eyeballs in student loan debt to be called an assistant. My Mom has received flowers and such on Secretary's Day in the past. She was never offended and I never thought she should be. I think if I was in the office environment that she was in at that time that I would not have thought twice either.

I am trying to make this work or leave before my view of this organization that I love changes.

But back to the title - I know how lucky I am. I know there are MUCH worse things that could go wrong. And that not feeling completely fulfilled at work is NOT the end of the world.

OK, I must get to bed, I have 10,000 steps to aim for tomorrow.

Yard Nazi

I got to be in full-force mom mode today. Two kids were using our backyard as a cut through. I totally caught them and was able to yell at them. We are fixing the fence this weekend. I do not want to take the chance of a kid getting hurt sneaking through and being sued.

I remember being a kid and yelling at the much older kids cutting through my mom's yard. I think I have always been at least 30.

I was not feeling well this morning, so I did not go to the other interview planned. Instead I enjoyed a nap with Bug - yay.

Tonight, I made dinner, shrimp stirfry - shrimp, snowpeas, mushrooms, bell pepper, green onions, olive oil, soy sauce, ginger, and garlic. Yummy yummy. Sweetie was working late so Bug and I took him dinner. He was very appreciative. Today, other than feeling bad earlier, we had another good day on phase one.

Deb requested that we post a memory. Summer: Peanut butter cookies fresh from the oven. My mom in the yellow kitchen with mid-morning sun. Summer days long enough to exhaust a kid. Being able to be gone most of the day with only saying "I'm going to play, Mom, see you soon". Riding my bike with friends to 7-11 to get slurpees - coke and cherry mixed, eating an astro pop outside while sitting with my grandpa on the curb, fresh cut lawn, falling backwards into the neighbor's pool, and falling in love with Sweetie.

Withdrawal

I have been so bad with my blogging. And, Crista, I got your tag and am working on the list.

I have been taking care of Bug, with Sweetie's help of course. She is doing much better. While still covered in pox, they are much less than they were on Saturday - her worst day.

I was at work half a day today. I am working the mornings until Bug goes back to school. Then Sweetie was nice enough to watch Bug while I went to an interview. It went well. I should know this week. Don't worry, I am weighing more than just money in with my decision.

Sweetie and I started South Beach phase one today. For those of you who do not know, South Beach is about the right carbs (fruits and whole grains), proteins (lean meats, peanut butter, lowfat dairy), and fats (canola and olive oil for example). Phase one is two weeks without the fruits and whole grains to jump start weight loss and reduce cravings. Today was good. I had turkey bacon and a chai tea (homemade) for breakfast; chicken, pecan, and spinach salad with cheese for lunch; lowfat lunchmeat, lowfat cheese, and a pickle for snacks; diet cokes to help curb the cravings; rosemary salmon (I made it myself), cooked spinach, and iced tea for dinner; and sugar free pudding for dessert. YUMMY.

Since I knew South Beach was coming, I have been eating badly, and having a ton of candy with Easter. I am totally feeling the withdrawal. But it is nothing to stop me. I am determined to complete phase one. Brother is even altering our family dinner on Friday so that we can stay on plan. It is so wonderful to have Sweetie doing it with me. He totally loved the salmon I made tonight - shhhh don't tell him, but it was way easy.

We dropped the gym last week. The thirty day trial was up and we realized we had not used it as much as we wanted. We are going to focus on an exercise habit at home and then going back to the gym later.

I was so excited about Motive falling on my 30th b-day. The thought of celebrating with a half marathon sounded perfect for me. Problem? My graves. Muscle fatigue is a huge problem, mainly leg, from what I have discovered from my research - and why walking 30 minutes can kick my butt now. While I would love to train and see how far I can get, I want to be able to make other b-day plans if the 13.1 miles will be too rough on me. I am not giving up yet. Training doesn't start until May 15th.

I can always alter my plan to run the Susan G Komen Race for a Cure, which falls one week before my b-day. It would still be a challenge, as I have never run a 5k. But it would be less time on my legs. I will, as always, keep everyone updated on this decision.

Chicken chicken chicken, can I have some pox

This has been a crazy week. Monday and Tuesday we hit all time highs. Hitting 100 in April. Let me repeat that. 100.In.April. Tuesday night we had a good sized storm and our temp yesterday only hit 91 - yay a cold front. Then today we had a HUGE thunderstorm. Actually at my house we had three rounds of storms with two having a lot of hail.

Luckily, I was home during the bad storms today. Why was I home, you might ask? Yesterday, the school noticed a couple of blister bumps on Bug's head. They were not concerned enough to say she could not go to school and she did not have a fever, so I planned to make an appointment sometime today. We even went out to eat last night with HowieMaui and her husband.

This morning she had more bumps. Chicken pox? Of course not. I figured it was a fungus or allergic reaction, although the pox was my first thought yesterday. Sweetie took her to the Dr. Yes, she does in fact have Chicken Pox. My 10 1/2 month old has chicken pox. And she cannot go back to school until Thursday. Since Sweetie was off the morning, I took off the afternoon. We still need to figure the remainder of the time off.

We slept during one of the big rounds of thunderstorms - that made for some good sleeping. I woke to hail. Crazy hail. Car is fine, that is the important thing.

Poor Bug is hanging in there. She is not scratching yet, so that is good.

On the job front. There not any part time jobs at the rate I would need. So I am looking around, putting myself out there - for higher pay to get out of debt faster. Crazy thing? I have two interviews and one meeting with a headhunter next week. We shall see.

Or I am going to try to figure how I can stay home. I know all over the place. What is new?

And although I am immune to chicken pox, I am all itchy, lol.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter. We had a great weekend. Friday was the evening at Mom's with MIL, Sweetie, Bug, and me. Nice and relaxing. Saturday was cleaning and then coloring eggs and visiting with Best Friend, her husband, Sam, Mom, MIL, Bug's GreatGrandpa, Sweetie, and me. Brother and SIL joined us and we finished the evening - after sundown - we went to Outback. Sweetie had a 16oz steak, lobster, and Au jus sauce (meat based sauce). Suprisingly he is feeling good - no throwing up or tummy problems. Even after today with Whataburger for breakfast and BBQ - sausage, hotdogs, and BBQ chicken - for lunch. He is still hanging in there. I would be so sick. I am so proud of him for completing lent. He is so very awesome.

Today was wonderful. We did not make it to church - we were too worried about the church being too crowded to simply sneak Bug out when she gets too rowdy. We enjoyed a relaxing morning and everyone came over for egg hunt, bbq, and games. Bug was cute in her outfit, of course. Sweetie made some good food, and I created a great dessert.

This weekend made me, once again, so thankful for all that I have. My family is amazing. Bug received so much for this first Easter.

Thank you all who made this weekend memorable.

Some pictures:
Photos taken at the park two weeks ago.




Bug's new play area.

Toad family in our backyard.

Sweetie and Bug playing yesterday.


Me, Bug, and her Easter basket this morning.

Bug showing off her Easter outfit.



The yummy dessert. It is supposed to look like a flower. hmmmm At least it was good.

Where Sweetie wants to put a trampoline.

Life

I am feeling good. Life is good. I spoke with a company yesterday. They want, if they chose me, to start in less than a week. I told them that I need to give two weeks. The headhunter was snide and said that I shouldn't let an opportunity in my field pass me by for my current position. I don't think she understands that I truly do not want to burn bridges. I plan to stay connected to where I work.

Tonight, Sweetie, Bug, and I went shopping. Bug's 2nd favorite teacher's last day is tomorrow. This meant a trip to the good ol' target. Bug rode in the main area of the cart. She stood almost the whole time.

I am very lucky. I know this. I am excited about Easter. Tonight we are getting the house ready for the upcoming festivities. I can't wait to see Bug in her outfit.

So, as I have said before, I am letting fate take me where I need to go. I have considered teaching, but I would need to get my teaching certificate and that takes more schooling, lol. If I am meant to be at my current job for awhile, then I will. If I am meant to go back to accounting, it will happen. Or if I am supposed to stay home, I will figure it out. I do not mean that I can simply sit back and let it happen. I am taking an active role in looking for a job, putting myself out there, and researching.

I believe everything that happened in my life molded me into who I am now. The good, the bad and the ugly. Without everything, I would not have my wonderful husband, my beautiful daughter, and my great relationship with friends and family. It is good. Life is good. My point? If you are having a hard time now - remember that perhaps you are in the molding process. Good things will come from this. I believe that to my core. It worked like that for me.

So, back to the present. This Easter has me very happy/emotional/excited. I love Easter. I love dressing up and going to Church, I love the egg hunt, I love the food, I love hanging with my family. My SIL and niece normally have conflicting plans during Easter weekend, but I am so grateful for any time I get to spend with them. But this year, this year we have Bug. This year we get to have her sitting in our lap at Church, we get to watch her hunt for eggs, we get to feed her good food, and we get to show her off to family. Man we are crazy about that little girl.

And I can hoola-hoop TWO hoola hoops at once. And I am good at it.

Test Results In

I love that I give my blood at noon and have the results the next morning before nine.

After 4 weeks:
Weight gain: 4 pounds - but nothing over the last week, so hopefully this is the end of that.

Free T4 - normal range .73-1.95
Was 2.29 and now 1.4 - NORMAL

Free T3 - normal range 2.3-4.2
Was 7.3 and now 4.7 - Almost normal

My Ultrasensitive TSH stayed the same.

I think this is great progress.

The doctor told me to keep the same dosage for another 9 weeks. I go back on June 14th.

So I will continue. I hope that the joint pain goes away soon.

Voicemail

OK so you work for a large telecommunications company. You leave the company. Before getting home on your last day, your access and accounts are deleted/changed and rerouted.

However, after almost FOUR months, the voicemail was not changed. Voicemail.at.a.telecommunications.company.

Bug's school called to let me know she bonked her head. Big bonk. Right before Easter. Well, the Director said "did you get my message?" Well, I didn't. After checking the home phone, cell phone, and work phone, I thought "I wonder about my old voicemail". I call the direct line. Lo and behold I hear "You have reached Missy's voicemail". OMG, they didn't change it. I log into the account. OMG they didn't even change the password. I had 16 messages. Two were Bug's school - obviously they thought they had the correct number - I mean it was MY voice saying MY name. I listened to each message. Nothing extreme. Some funny ones, but nothing I could send on to anyone. When I finished listening, I changed my voicemail. I am so good.

Totally cracks me up.

Then on a flip side. We had our first fraud experience. I was bathing Bug and we got a call from the bank. They needed to ask security questions, it was the fraud department. Sweetie puts me on the phone, I am the main contact for the account. They asked if we used our card for dinner - yes. They asked if we filled up for gas - yes. They asked if we used a cash advance for $197 - no. All I know is that it was a cash advance in California. The fraud was reported, the money never leaving our account. Way to go!!!! We assume the transactions happened at the same time -meaning in TX and CA. That sent up a red flag. I feel great about my banking choices.

If you notice the time, I should be at the gym. Not tonight. I am tired, my wrists are aching. And I am doing a better workout with blogging while drinking my Smirnoff. Sweetie and I rarely drink during the week, but these were cold, and I wanna, and I am almost 30 - I can do what I want.

Now if only I could figure out how to take half a day off on Friday.

Actually work was pretty good today. We shall see, I am going to go where fate takes me.

Randomness on a Tuesday

I do not claim to make sense. Let's see where this goes.

~ I love Italian sodas with cream. Sweetie does not like them.
~ I don't know what I want to do job wise right now.
~ My biggest fear is finding a job that challenges me but has less vacation.
~ Anyone want a part time accountant?
~ I am trying to lose weight for 4th of July.
~ I burnt my lunch.
~ After this post I get to give blood.
~ I might need another Italian soda.
~ I hate it when money is tight.
~ I hope to workout tonight.
~ I still have my headache.
~ I cannot wait to find out my test results.
~ Then I can decide the next step in my healing.
~ We found my keys.
~ I am so excited about Easter that I am going to bust.
~ The song Bug's Easter bunny/chick sings is stuck in my head.

I made a colored Easter egg, I made it pink and blue, and if you hop then you will find my Easter gift to you. Running with my basket with my sweets and cheer, the Easter bunny's wishing you lots of fun this year. Spring has sprung, Easter has come, for all the little children, it's time to laugh and run. Running with my basket with all my sweets and cheer, the Easter bunny's wishing you lots of fun this year.

Stupid headache

I am home today. Not fun. I have felt nauseas and had a headache for a few days now. I don't know if it is the meds, which I think it is, or something else. I got Sweetie and Bug out the door this morning, ate some cereal (very yummy pecan, date, and raisin cereal), and went back to bed. I.slept.for.five.hours. WOW. I guess I needed it.

I no longer feel nauseas, but I have a killer headache. I hate headaches. I really hate them.

This weekend was good though. Sweetie bowled with his company team at the Austin Cup. Sweetie's team was not the best, but was also not the worst.

And last night I had so much fun. We had a spontaneous date with Best Friend and her husband. We bowled - yes a fun weekend of bowling. I even broke 100. YAY.

So other than feeling like crap, I had a great weekend.

Feel the burn

I feel great. The depression went away on Friday and has stayed away. Yay. I ate healthy today. YAY. And I worked out tonight. Let me repeat that, I worked out tonight. As in 20 minutes of walk/running (getting my base before training begins). I did 5 minutes of walking followed by 30 seconds of running for the 20 minutes. The workout felt good and I think I will increase the speed when I go back on Saturday. I worked some abs and did some stretches, they have the neatest stretching chair. I completed my time with some weight training. I am doing a workout from a book called "Perfect Parts". It has a great beginners routine.

The bottom line is that I did a complete body workout. I think this is the first time in 19 months that I worked all my body parts. I think we might just keep this gym membership. It was a wonderful feeling to workout while listening to The Simpsons on my headset.

After work, Sweetie had a bowling practice, so I tagged along - as I got out of my meeting early. YAY. If I am hanging out and not really participating, give me a pad and paper and I will entertain myself for hours. I did this very thing. What I normally do is free write about important topics, plan, and make lists.

This should not surprise anyone.

Well, I started writing about my eating (already was eating "good" for the day). I realize, that where I am in my life now, this could all change next week, I don't want to count anything. Not points, not carbs, not fat, not calories. I want a guideline to eat by with my one day off a week. I know this means that I will lose slower, but it is worth it to me. I also realized that I have been "waiting" for a start date. I say "I think I will go back to WW meetings tomorrow". This means Saturday, Wednesday, Thursday. Things come up and I don't go. That might be work, family, or even sleep.

I already have a start date - Aug 2004. That was my highest weight. That is not going to change. I don't want a new start date as that would mean gaining back all of my weight. So since my start date cannot change, I might as well try my hardest to lose what I can while my meds level out and such.

So I had a healthy salad without dressing for dinner. And I just finished some dried plumes and water - yummy.

I don't want to count anything. I want to adapt a healthier lifestyle that promotes remission of my Graves' as well as keeping up with my beautiful baby girl.

Yay for me today. Eating with healthier choices, working out, and keeping the blues away.

WAY TO GO DEB

First, before posting another word, I must make an announcement. My favorite cancer ass kicking superwoman - IS CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To make it all about me, once again, this got me very emotionally happy. I have kept my office updated on Deb's story and it brought me much happiness to tell them her wonderful news.

We went hopping tonight - as Easter is fast approaching. I think we did good, some special things for her.

OK I hate to make this so short, Sweetie is almost done making his most delicious baked potatoes.

Touch ups

I had the absolute best weekend. Friday was date night, we ate pizza, watched Rent, and I made rice pudding. Sweetie was not fond of Rent, but the rice pudding made up for it. Saturday was the party. And Sunday was the ballet.

Today was a manager's retreat. This means the other 4 managers and I went to one of their houses and spent the day discussing office procedures. Well, except when we watched the movie 9-5. That wouldn't be bad except it put the end of our meeting an hour late.

Tonight, Sweetie and I got our infinities touched up. Small, and all black, tats can take two times to be fully black. I am so glad we did it.

I am tired, this time change is killing me, so I need to get ready for bed.

Drunk Post

Just got back from my Bug's Teacher's b-day party. I am drunk. My first drunk post. Wow. I think this is the worst I have been since having Bug. No boobies shown, only undies as everyone was showing them, and no kissing, good thing as me being drunk ususally means both.

The night was fun. I am going to really miss Ms Kat when she goes, but I know we will remain friends.

I did dry hump a chair - and it is on tape. We were playing truth or dare.

Maybe I shouldn't post when drunk.

I love Sweetie. He is the best. He drove me and picked me up so that I could drink almost a full bottle of Baleys (spelling who cares about spelling) and two beers.

It was fun, a lot of fun. I owe him big. He even brought Bug to pick me up. She was not happy. But seeing her made me very happy - although not sober.

Sweetie thinks my drunkness is cute and endearing.

The words are blurring. Is that bad?

Now I am laughing.

I love him so much. He is my everything.

OK off to have teh sex with my Sweetie. Yum Yum.